Chapter Text
Pride was not the only thing I felt about Miles. This kid is great; he’s intelligent, passionate, and so damn creative. The short time I spent with him on earth-1610 they made me rethink kids. If all kids were like Miles, why am I so afraid of them?
I knew MJ wanted them and, for us, that meant eternal commitment, something that no man in his late 40s wants to believe is possible. Yet after returning from 1610 and remembering how full of life Miles is about the world. I knew I had to change. I knew that If I wanted to be with MJ, that change would be required. Forget the nights in which cold pizza was the only thing between me and getting my life together.
So, the moment I stepped out of that portal I got my shit together and walked over to MJ and decided that if I had a child, I hope I do a damn great job just like Miles's parents did with him. As this world needs more Miles.
The day Miguel O’Hara told me about the canon events and how they would affect Miles. I doubted I was strong enough to show my face to the kid. There is no rulebook for telling a kid about life-altering events. Like what was I supposed to do? just show up and look at Miles in the face and say “Oh yea kid, so you are not supposed to be Spider-Man….. Anddddd your dad is supposed to die……. have a good day! Bye-bye!”.
No matter how I looked at it, this was insanity. So we took the stand of me, Gwen, Peni, Noir, and Porky to never see miles again even with the ability to do so. None of us wanted to have that conversation with him, and Miguel wanted no contact with the ‘anomaly.’
From then on, life went on as normal. I and MJ tied the knot, becoming one of the same, and soon after Mayday came along, becoming the brightness of my life, the soul sought reason why I do what I do. I thought about Miles and how he was doing so. I wondered whether that fancy school was doing him well, if being Spider-Man was going well for him and how HE was doing. I would’ve killed for just two minutes. Just two minutes to make sure he was ok.
The day that Gwen was supposed to stop the Spot, I was busy with MJ and Mayday. We wanted to do something like a family, as the little time I had during the day with no spider business was for my family.
I knew the possibility of Gwen seeing Miles one final time was huge, she considered him a friend, her first friend after Peter. If it did not interfere with the mission, why not? This was the final time she would see him. Let the girl have her fun, yet because of that and other factors things change, and things don't turn out how they should have. Miles was teleported into Earth- 50101 to the city of Mumbattan and somehow, somehow in his Miles fashion was able to do so much good yet harm at the same time. Saving the captain and changing the canon event would cause the downfall of Earth 50101. Something which Miles did not know would happen. Yet when your second instinct is to do good and save people. Where is the line drawn?
Like everything Miguel would find out, knowing him he would be pissed, he would be pissed at me, at Gwen, at Hobie, at Pav, and anyone else who believed in Miles Morales. The conversation that leads to the chase would be one of the moments in my life in which I'm not proud, hell at the moment I knew I fucked up, I knew the moment Miles look at me and said “You knew?” and I could not even answer him the face of betrayal in which he wore would kill a thousand people. That was the first time I knew Miles, after this would no longer be Miles.
Once you notice something shift in someone, it is impossible not to notice all of the differences. It is like Mayday, starting to walk. At first, she waddled to me but then became faster and faster. Then, I make her webs and she swings across the room like it's no tomorrow.
So, the moment I got to be alone with Miles during all this chasing I tried, I tried to not fuck it up. I was like a loose cannon and told him because of him that Mayday would not have been alive. I tried to explain that he was a wonderful person and how much I loved being around him. I even tried being funny and make him hold Mayday and God how bad he was at it, yet nothing works. Rather I was questioning why I didn't come to see him and finally, the words hit me
“I wanted to be with you guys so badly.
But this thing isn’t what I thought it was”
I had never heard so much angst and melancholy in Miles' voice before that day. Even then I tried to play it as cool and collected as I could and tried to explain to him
‘Bad things are gonna happen.
It makes us who we are, but good things happen too! You know?
Like you happen’
This was the last proper conversation I had with Miles for a long time. The stupid thing communicator? Portal? Whatever it gave my location to everyone, having a sea of spiders coming our way.
After that, Miles started his solo mission for survival and his attempt to change the canon. I didn't see it for myself yet I know Miles achieved his goal, Miguel was proven wrong and life seems to get back to normal with the addition of Miles.
Yet, as much as Miguel wants to fix things, as much as any of us want the old Miles back that was not happening. Yes, he could act as normal as if things did not matter. As if millions of spiders did not chase him, without a care in the world, listening to Post Malone as if his life depended on it. Yet, deep down, I knew that was not Miles.
Miles was naturally gleeful, was quick to talk about the things he enjoyed, and had so much love for the world. It seems that it did not fit into his teenage body.
The first time I saw Miles after the whole ordeal, which was a few months prior at first, I did not pay that much attention he seemed fine. It is true what they say about kids they bounce back after being put in harm's way. However, the month passed, and I started to see subtle yet major changes in Miles. Maybe it was the Spidey senses or the dad senses, as Gwen called it, but there is something truly wrong with Miles. Physically, Miles was fine like everyone else. Superhealing does that to you in a mere matter of days; your dad's back is no longer in extreme pain after a fight.
However, if there is one thing I learned throughout the years of being Spider-man, mental scars are not part of the super-healing process. They still require medical help.
So like the parent, I decided that I was going to start looking for odd behavior. Even if it made me worry about his well-being, I would rather be worried for a few days than fail again.
Although I may have failed Miles once in his life, making that mistake twice could have cost his life this time.