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Mohinder stood in the shower washing his hair, revelling in the hot water and the fresh smell of the shampoo. He so rarely has the chance to languish in the relaxing spray and pamper himself this way. With only one bathroom and three busy schedules, his morning ablutions had been pared down to an absolute minimum, carried out brusquely and with military precision. Even then, Molly would be pounding on the door, telling him she would be late for school. Matt would be brushing his teeth and passing him a towel when his arm snaked around the shower curtain to grope at the rail. The apartment was small and constantly filled with the sounds of their chatter. Mohinder can’t help but feel a little unsettled, now, at the silence beyond the beat of the water and the way he can stand and let the water sheet over him without someone yelling that they ‘need to pee!’.
He should be able to hear, in the distance, the rumbling background noise of Matt and Molly trying to pick a TV channel they both like. He should be catching a high pitched giggle as Matt swoops her up and tickles her, followed by a dull thump as they collapse on the couch laughing. But Molly is at a sleep over and Matt is working late and the apartment is filled with nothing but silence, the thrum of the pipes and his own thoughts.
He works conditioner into his hair and tries to be happy that he has this moment of solitude. It’s a brief respite and he should cherish it while it lasts, enjoy the chance to pamper himself and have some privacy. When he still feels a small dead weight in his gut, Mohinder considers that at the very least he should be happy for Molly and Matt. After Nathan’s death and the return of Sylar their lives had been even more frantic and fear driven than before as they worked to keep Molly safe and keep each other sane. But time had passed and they had grieved and moved on. While still an omnipresent threat tugging at the back of Mohinder’s mind, Sylar’s failure to reappear had let them feel settled and a cover of normalcy spread over their lives: school, work and each other.
Despite all that had happened there, Mohinder had been reluctant to move out of his father’s apartment. Matt hadn’t pressed the issue, and when, for all the fears the apartment had once held, Molly sulked at the idea of moving house, they simply decided to stay put and make do. Matt had painted her room a bright blue and laughed when Mohinder had been unable to put up a bookshelf. They had spent long, lazy afternoons shopping as a family and helping Molly choose bed spreads and rugs and the perfect nightlight. Together they had ganged up on him and refused to let him pick out colours, deploring his taste as garish. In the shower Mohinder smiles, recalling how he had snorted and rolled his eyes, while Molly tugged at his hand and Matt squeezed his shoulder all the while laughing together.
The apartment became more than a stop gap solution for Matt, it became his home. Mohinder had rearranged his bedroom and replaced his double bed with two singles. It was a tight fit and not without a dormitory feel but it worked. At first it had been awkward as they tripped over each other and grumbled about privacy, but the rows it inspired made Mohinder glow in an odd way. The weren’t shouting as friends, irritated at an over stayed welcome, they were bickering as a family, snapping and apologising, never once fearing the other would leave.
Mohinder turned off the shower and the full force of the silence fell on him. He decided that it wasn’t the sound of his own loneliness, but the sound of Molly having a safe and normal childhood, and the sound of Matt’s successful career. Mohinder could sacrifice one evening basking Molly’s happy prattle, the warm weight of Matt’s hand on his shoulder, if it is to the aid of such ends. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he steps from the bathroom in a cloud of steam and is startled out of his reverie when he just misses colliding with Matt.
‘Matt!’
‘Sorry doc, be with you in a minute, I really gotta pee!’
In a whirlwind of arms and bodies glancing past each other, Matt disappears inside the bathroom and Mohinder feels weightless. A happy grin has spread across his face and the oppressive silence has been driven away. While he slips into his pyjamas he can’t recall ever feeling as connected to someone as he is to Matt. Nirand had been a good friend and he had thought he wanted to spend his life with Mira but he and Matt fit together like an interlocking puzzle. They were a double act, a box set, something not to be sold separately. Matt is the support and inspiration he has been searching for all his life. It makes Mohinder’s soul ache when late at night he considers that it cannot last forever.
With all that has happened, Mohinder rarely contemplates the future. There seems little point as he would never be able to predict what their lives would hold. Both the negative: powers unimaginable, deadly viruses and murder; and the positive: becoming a father, meeting Matt, this small spate of peace; were so unexpected that Mohinder finds the best way to cope is to not expect. When he lies awake though, letting the sound of Matt’s breathing fill his ears and waiting for sleep to take him, he admits he can predict one thing with perfect precision. One day, Matt will meet a woman worthy of him and unlike Janice their bond will be unbreakable. Mohinder will not begrudge Matt his happiness when he leaves. He won’t sulk or whine or make things harder, he will simply readjust to the silence and go back to his solitary ways and take solace in his long, uninterrupted showers. Mohinder admits he can predict a second thing with perfect precision: on the day that Matt leaves, he will take a piece of Mohinder’s heart with him. Suddenly melancholy, Mohinder settles into the couch and waits for Matt, waits to make the most of the time they have.
‘Jesus Mohinder, it was like a sauna in there! How much hot water do you need to use?’
He feels jolted awake, smiling and filled with giddiness at Matt’s irrepressible presence. Without thinking he jumps off the couch and wraps Matt in a bear hug, pressing his face to Matt’s broad shoulder. He feels Matt’s breathing catch and his hands waver in the air for a minute before resting on his back and holding him close. Then Matt is pulling gently on his shoulders and looking at him with an expression of complete bewilderment.
‘Mohinder, are you ok?’
‘I… I’m just glad you’re here.’
‘Is everything alright? Is Molly…?'
‘No, no she’s fine Matt. Everything’s fine.’
Now the silence is awkward and Mohinder flushes at his own outburst, wondering when he had become ruled by his emotions and momentary mood swings. He’s pacing, and wringing his hands and it’s stupid because this is Matt and Matt has seen him act like a fool many times and he’s none the worse for wear. Matt hasn’t moved, still watching Mohinder closely. Mohinder knows he must be trying hard not to delve into his mind and fish out the cause behind his actions. Another swell of affection washes over him as he admires Matt’s self-restraint and his simple selflessness in restricting such a large facet of himself for Mohinder’s privacy and comfort. Mohinder thinks it must be like being blind or deaf when he walks through his own front door, keeping himself in check in a way that isn’t required in the wider world. It makes Mohinder’s heart feel heavy with gratitude. He spins on his heel and clasps Matt’s shoulders in his hands, feeling the muscles moving under his fingers as he squeezes them and looks into Matt’s caring, open face.
‘I don’t say it enough Matt, but I’m really happy you’re here. Without you and Molly… I’m just glad we’re a family.’
Mohinder’s reality skips a beat.
Matt leans forward and cups his chin in a large, smooth hand, tilting his head up. Matt’s lips are pressing against his and his hand is holding him steady at the small of his back. Matt’s mouth is opening and his tongue is sliding along Mohinder’s lips and his hot breath is ghosting over his skin.
Mohinder sighs and his lips part, shivering as Matt’s tongue slips tenderly inside. His hands grip Matt’s shoulders a little tighter, and pull him a little closer. His thumbs are rubbing circles into Matt’s collar bone and he moves, just half a step forward, and their bodies are touching from shoulder to ankle. Like two interlocking pieces of a puzzle, they stand and breathe and feel.
Mohinder has never kissed another man before but instead of feeling hung up on the scratch of stubble, or the largeness of Matt’s body, all Mohinder can feel is contentment that he still fails at predicting the future.
They break apart slowly, hands not leaving each other’s bodies and watch each other’s faces. This time it is Mohinder who leans forwards, mouth open and kisses Matt. One more half step forward and they are sinking into each other, Mohinder’s hands starting to caress Matt’s arms and skating over his chest. Matt’s hands are sliding over his back, rubbing in circles and then dipping lower and fondling his ass. Mohinder falters, tugging on Matt’s lip and unconsciously steps half a step back.
‘Sorry…’
Mohinder shakes his head at Matt to silence him and looks up at him from half lowered lashes. He grasps Matt’s large hand in his own smaller, more delicate one and leads them to the bedroom. Once there Mohinder pauses, realising he has no idea how this is done. Mohinder is used to soft curves and high pitched sighs, long hair tickling his skin and small hands pressing his own to smooth, full breasts. Matt is hard muscle and wiry hair, broad shoulders instead of wide hips. Mohinder isn’t sure how to proceed if he is the one who will be spreading his legs tonight.
Matt seems to notice his hesitancy and takes over. With firm hands on Mohinder’s shoulders he spins them around and sits on his bed, pulling Mohinder down to straddle him. He tangles his hand in Mohinder’s hair and pulls his head down until their lips meet. Mohinder smiles as his tongue darts out to lap at the corners of Matt’s mouth, revelling in the heady combination of the new sensation of Matt and his stubble and the old familiarities of leaning down to kiss and hearing his partner moan. Matt’s hands are under his shirt and when the slide upwards he willingly lifts his arms to let it be pulled over his head.
For a moment Matt leans back and stares at him, letting his eyes range over his torso and his hands follow suit. Mohinder bites his lip at the old familiarity of that look and the new sensation of seeing it on Matt’s face. Mohinder isn’t shy with his sighs and groans when Matt mouths down his neck, sucking at his skin and nibbling along his collar bone. He positively cries out when Matt takes one nipple in his mouth, tongue laving his sensitive flesh and pinches the other between his large fingers, twisting softly and pulling.
When Matt’s hands glide lower and press into the muscles of his stomach, fingering the trail of hair below his navel, Mohinder presses forward and topples them backward onto the bed. He hovers over Matt, staring down at his gorgeous face, before letting himself down. He sinks into Matt’s arms and his kisses. Suddenly, with the press of hips to hips, Mohinder notices that he is hard, and with a throb of his cock, that Matt is hard. With a lift of Matt’s hips, his hardness is rubbing against Matt’s hardness and it’s wonderful and sublime and in an instant, too surreal. Mohinder scrabbles backwards but Matt’s hands clutch at his sides. They don’t pull him down again, but they hold him steady and prevent him from standing up. With a quick, deft movement, Matt flips them onto their sides, legs entangled on the narrow bed and holding himself up on one elbow, cradles Mohinder’s face in his hand.
‘What’s wrong? Do you want to stop?’
‘No. I just… I’ve never been with a man before.’
‘Do you not want to?’
‘Matt, I want you. I want to be with you. I just don’t know what I’m doing and it’s unnerving.’
‘Shh… it’s ok, Mohinder. I’ll show you what to do.’
Matt follows his reassuring words with a tender kiss and Mohinder parts his lips to let his tongue sweep inside. Soon all hesitation is forgotten and when Matt’s shirt is thrown to the floor it is his turn to stop and stare. His entire groin is throbbing at the sight of Matt, at the feel of his strong muscles under Mohinder’s fingers, at the taste of his scars and the smell of his skin, sweat and arousal. He is kissing Matt’s stomach and biting at his hips, feeling Matt’s hands stroking his hair as he pauses to nuzzle his face into Matt’s skin. With a questioning glance at Matt’s face, he reaches down and lets his fingers trail over Matt’s erection, still trapped inside his trousers. He smiles at Matt’s shout and the way his hips roll under his touch before cupping him more firmly and squeezing lightly. As he rubs his hand up and down over the bulge, Mohinder is cataloguing Matt’s breathy gasps and the way his lips twitch. He is weighing Matt’s cock and feeling out its dimensions, learning what it means to hold another man in his palm. Matt grabs his hand and guides it to his fly. Without speaking Mohinder undoes the button and pulls down the zip. He takes a deep breath and pulls down Matt’s trousers and underwear as he lifts his hips and wriggles out of them. Mohinder turns and throws the garments to the floor before he allows his eyes to take in the sight before him.
Mohinder feels his breath catch as he looks down on Matt spread out naked below him. Without thinking his hand reaches out to stroke and pet him, to run over his legs and over his stomach and to finally feel the hot, flushed skin of his cock. Mohinder holds him with a firm grip, marvelling at how the same parts can look so different on another. He strokes Matt a few times, sighing at the feel of his tautness against his palm and letting his thumb run over the glossy tip. He pulls his hand away, smirking at Matt’s groan and reaches lower, letting his fingers trail over Matt’s balls gently. He spreads Matt’s legs and moves to kneel between them, letting Matt shift as he props himself up on his elbows to watch Mohinder’s movements. He leans down and rests his head against Matt’s upper thigh, letting his hot breath fall in quick pants against Matt’s sensitive flesh. He smiles at the way Matt twitches and sways. He grasps at his cock again and lets his tongue lazily sweep along it before pulling back and contemplating the taste. Matt is quivering and moaning, muscles tensing as he holds himself still under Mohinder’s attentions. Mohinder lets his head dip down again and laps at him everywhere, tasting the flavours of the base and his balls, the shaft and the head. He dips his tongue into the slit and lets the bitter taste sit on his palate before swallowing with a small frown. He lavishes attention on the head, pressing close mouthed kisses to it and licking as much as he can before he pulls back, grimacing at the flavour.
Matt notices and pulls him up for a kiss, letting his tongue wash the taste from Mohinder’s mouth and breathing accolades into his lips. Mohinder shifts to move down Matt’s body again but a hand on the back of his neck stills him. He pulls back to look at Matt with a worried frown.
‘Didn’t you like that?’
‘Are you kidding? Those noises I was making? Those were very happy noises, but let me…’
Mohinder groans as Matt fumbles for the drawstring on his pyjamas, his fingers brushing against his dick through the thin material. Matt kisses a trail down his chest and stomach, moaning into his skin as he slips Mohinder’s trousers from him and tosses them off the side of the bed. Mohinder is pushed back into the mattress and lets his back arch and his head fall back as he feels Matt’s large hand wrap around him. He can hear Matt chuckling against him at his reaction and his hips thrust upwards sharply of their own accord. Matt grunts and pulls back a little, looking up at him as Mohinder strokes his hair and chews his lip sheepishly.
‘Sorry, it’s been a while I guess…’
Matt simply grins back at him and slips Mohinder’s cock into his mouth. Mohinder is incredibly grateful that Matt has had the foresight to press down firmly on his hips because surrounded by the hot wet heat and Matt’s talented tongue he is bucking and writhing uncontrollably. Mohinder is moaning and swearing and calling Matt’s name and he can’t focus on just one sensation, overwhelmed as he is by the tendrils of pleasure curling through his body. Matt’s hands are soothing and petting him, rubbing his stomach and pressing him down, kneading his legs and cupping his balls. Then Matt is spreading his legs and his fingers are exploring behind his sac and Mohinder is grabbing at his hair and pulling him up. Mohinder runs his fingers through Matt’s hair and peppers kisses all over his face and neck before letting Matt speak.
‘We don’t have to, I don’t mind’
‘I want to Matt but it’s too fast. I’m sorry.’
‘Shh... don’t apologise. You set the pace, we’ll only do as much as you want. Tell me what you want Mohinder.’
‘I’m not sure…’
‘I could finish blowing you? Do you want to come in my mouth? Or we could jerk each other off? That’s pretty fun. Or, if you wanted, you could fuck me? But not if you don’t want to.’
‘Oh god Matt, I want to. But… have you ever? Before?’
‘Sure. It’s been a while, not since before Janice, but I know what to do.’
‘I don’t.’
‘I told you, I’ll show you. Let me grab a condom, don’t move.’
Mohinder finds himself ogling Matt’s bare ass as he walks quickly out the room to the bathroom. He breaths slowly and deeply and tries to focus on how fantastic Matt’s hands felt on his body because as much as he wants this he doesn’t want to think about how he’s about to fuck a man. Later he can worry about what it means, about who he is and who he loves, afterwards he will muse about Mira and Eden and others. Right now he doesn’t want to think of Matt as a man, he thinks of Matt as someone he loves and someone he desires. Matt is the interlocking piece of the puzzle.
When Matt returns Mohinder pulls him into a kiss that held all the love, joy and affection he felt but couldn’t find the words to express. Matt pulls away and stares at him for a moment, his eyes shining with emotions Mohinder knew would be reflected in his own. Then with a waggle of his eyebrows and a devious smirk, Matt rips the silver package open with his teeth and slipped the condom over Mohinder’s straining cock. Mohinder bucks into his hand and feels Matt squeezing tightly at his base, sushing him and stroking his arm. Then he takes Mohinder’s hand and pours lubricant onto his palm. Mohinder remembers seeing the small bottle in the bathroom and recalls blushing, as he supposed Matt had acquired it for more solitary endeavours. Matt slicks his fingers when the liquid is warm and drops one more reassuring kiss on his cheek.
‘How should I…’
‘Just lie back baby, this is really easy.’
Matt is pushing him back into the sheets and for a moment Mohinder wonders how this is going to work. As far as he has let himself imagine things tonight he had imagined that at least one of them would be bent over something. Before he can worry further about how far out of his usual experience this is, Matt is crouching, straddling his hips, resting on his hand beside Mohinder’s head and on the balls of his feet. Mohinder groans at the sight, his cock pulsing to see Matt so exposed and wanting. Matt guides his slippery hand with his own and places it at his entrance. He nods his head and tentatively Mohinder lets his fingers rub and glide over his puckered flesh. Matt is panting at the sensation and it turns Mohinder on even more, boldly he slips one finger just a little way into Matt. He stops as Matt frowns and his muscles clamp down, but then he is sighing and pushing down on Mohinder’s finger. Soon, Mohinder is thrusting and twisting it, staring open mouthed at the reaction he is inciting. Matt pulls his finger out and presses two to his entrance. Mohinder again watches Matt frown momentarily before pushing down against him. It is even tighter than before and Mohinder can feel Matt pressing down on him from all sides. He wonders how he will be able to control himself with that hot tightness around his cock. With a hand gesture Matt indicates he should scissor his fingers and stretch him out, and Mohinder does so eagerly, mindful of the way sweat is beading on Matt’s brow.
As Mohinder is pumping, twisting and stretching he curves his fingers and starts when Matt suddenly cries out and his muscles squeeze Mohinder’s fingers tightly. He grins when he realises what he has found. He sweeps his fingers around with a renewed vigour to rediscover the bundle of nerves and recreate Matt’s reaction. After a minute or so Matt’s legs are trembling and he is starting to sound hoarse from shouting, he grabs Mohinder’s hand and pulls his fingers free. Mohinder watches as Matt grabs the lube bottle again and gasps at the slight chill as Matt hastily slicks his cock. He watches as Matt grasps the base of his dick and, steadying himself with a hand on the headboard, brings it to his entrance.
Mohinder’s eyes roll back and he bites his tongue to control his urge to thrust up – it is tight and slippery and excruciatingly slow as Matt pauses frequently to adjust to the invasion. He rubs his hands soothingly along Matt’s thighs and his arousal reaches new heights at the simple connection he feels when Matt looks at him and smiles, the frown melting from his face. The both cry out loudly when Mohinder is finally fully inside Matt. They let their hands roam over each other as they Mohinder mouths at Matt’s chest and feels almost incapacitated with pleasure. Then Matt starts to move and the sublime friction is almost too much. After a few missteps, they fall into a gentle rhythm as Matt moves up and down and Mohinder thrusts. With a tilt of his hips Mohinder is suddenly rubbing against Matt’s prostate and he is swearing and bucking above him, picking up the pace and driving Mohinder crazy. He can barely hold back, it’s too much, nothing like he has ever experienced before. Matt guides his hand to his cock and Mohinder starts to stroke him automatically, using the same firm grip and rapid pace he likes on himself. He knows he can’t last much longer and he doesn’t think he has the breath in him to warn Matt but the other man must have read it on his face.
‘It’s ok baby, let go. Come as quickly as you need to. I want you to.’
Mohinder is jacking his hand faster and rougher and his hips are pumping faster and with a strangled cry and an arched back he is coming. Matt is whispering endearments and soothing his skin as he trembles in the sheets and then Matt’s hand is over his, resuming it’s movement and jerking Matt off. Mohinder thinks that Matt coming is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen and the way his muscles clench around Mohinder’s softening cock is almost painfully pleasurable.
They sigh and kiss and catch their breath, sweat damp bodies pressed together. Then with a wide grin, Matt is slipping off him, and wiping them up with Mohinder’s t-shirt, fished off the floor. Mohinder is feeling too tired and content to worry about soiled sheets or clothing and just pulls Matt down next to him, holding him close in his arms. Pressing his face into Matt’s neck he whispers into his skin.
‘Thank you.’
‘I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, I know I did.’
‘I’m sorry…’
‘What for?’
‘I didn’t last very long.’
‘Oh Mohinder, don’t be sorry. The first time is always intense. I bet I wouldn’t last half as long inside you.’
‘I guess we’ll find out soon enough.’
‘We’re going to need to get a bigger bed…’
Mohinder buried his laughter in Matt’s shoulder and, as they cuddled together, Mohinder had a new unshakable vision of the future: no matter how big their bed, he and Matt would always lie pressed together, like two interlocking pieces of a puzzle.