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He hadn’t thought that this would happen. He was attractive, sure, but not the sharpest tool in the shed. And Astarion, as of now that he was finally free of Cazador, appreciated the opportunity to have standards.
He didn’t have to lead the prettiest, most beautiful creatures to a homicidal maniac anymore. He could choose freely. He could choose to be with anyone really.
Anyone and no one.
Now that he had the option, he wanted someone who was witty and charming, and the life of the party.
Someone with a nose that was a little too sharp and pudgy belly.
Someone who didn’t want to go straight into his pants but would rather probe his mind than his prostate.
All in all someone who could swoop him up with his intellect and spend hours discussing the latest political developments in Baldur’s Gate. Not...different types of frogs.
To be fair, Halsin’s simplicity was quite refreshing sometimes, he was straight forward and unapologetically himself but his whole personality wasn’t his cup of tea either, really.
The whole conserve nature, everything needs to be in perfect balance, every creature is of great importance and needs to be protected yadayada... did neither coincide with Astarion’s values nor with his lifestyle.
But here he was, naked, leaning against a tree, a bulky, very eager druid kneeling in front of him, looking up questioningly.
It all started with an invitingly crackling campfire.
Astarion had intended to start his nightly prowl by asking him about his daily business but that turned into something he hadn’t expected.
“A glass of Baldurian red would hit the spot right now.” He licked his lips thinking about the deep burgundy colour and the rich flavour of his favourite wine.
“I would not refuse a cup either but perhaps there is more that I want...”
He raised his eyebrows. “This ‘more’ that you want. What is it?” He asked intrigued about the fact that there was after all a little mystery about the otherwise frank man.
“Not what. Who.”
“Oh.” Astarion chuckled, wondering who it might be, and even though he was very much his own biggest fan, he didn’t get it until he looked back at the hunky druid, whose eyes were undressing him quietly.
And for the first time in 200 years, he felt heat rise gradually to his pale cheeks.
“Really?”
“If you’ll have me.” He said with his calm, sonorous baritone.
“Ugh, I-”, he brushed back his silver hair. The unveiled passion, with which the big druid spoke, took him aback.
Usually, it was him that made the first moves, ready to trade a night under the stars for safety and protection. He didn’t have to do that anymore though.
And Halsin didn’t seem to want anything in return. He just seemed genuinely in the mood for a bit of action.
“What do you say?” He smiled sincerely and a warm hand brushed tentatively along Astarion’s forearm.
The soft touch roused something in him.
It had been a while since the last time he’d lain with someone.
And even longer since he’d felt pleasure doing so.
Maybe a political discussion was not what he needed right now after years of servitude but rather an honest embrace.
He couldn’t deny that Halsin was a stunner, he had the broad shoulders of man who could lift you up with ease, arms like tree trunks, and a chest so welcoming, you would pay for a hug. The scars that criss-crossed his face did nothing to mar his obviously handsome features. And even though he always looked a little stern, there was something soft, tender almost, in his eyes.
When Halsin winked at him, he suddenly realized that he’d been quietly staring and turned up the sass to not lose face.
“Aren’t you afraid I might bite?”
The druid laughed his deep rumbly laugh and leaned forward challengingly. “I might just as well bite back.”
Astarion swallowed dragging his eyes from Halsin’s lips back up to his hazel eyes. “I didn’t expect you to be so eager.”
He smirked. “Physical exertion like the fight earlier, the blood and gore that come with it. These things do that sometimes. They invigorate me. Not as much as a skinny dip in a cool natural pool on a hot summer’s day but close.”
Although Astarion didn’t actively choose to imagine what Halsin might look like half-submerged in glistening clear water, he did so anyways.
“Tonight?” The word caught in his throat.
“Whenever you desire to lie with me.”
He bit his lip, all of a sudden quite curious to know what an archdruid might have up his sleeve.
“So, what do you say?” There was no masking what the druid felt, hope was written all over his face. And Astarion caved, unable to resist the other’s enthusiasm and in for a bit of sensual distraction.
“I will find you after everyone has gone to bed.” He said quietly.
A wide grin appeared on his handsome face. “I will await you at the clearing near the lake.”
The trees parted before him like the curtains of a theatre, moonlight shining through the leaves painting dancing shadows on the grass and the ripples of the black lake.
Only the quiet hush hush of leaves could be heard.
No one was there.
Astarion was, to his own dismay, a little hurt. He had waited a little longer on purpose but not that long. Halsin must have not had any intention to shown up at all.
How could he have been so stupid?
Being led on wasn’t something anyone enjoyed but this was a most cruel joke.
He should have known better. Who could fault him for having second thoughts.
Astarion was a freak. Surely, a pretty freak but nonetheless. A pale, red-eyed anomaly.
Now that the tadpole was gone, not even free to bask in the sun or enjoy life carefree.
He’d returned to the shadows, spending most of his time awake hunting in the night, reading in candle light, occasionally conversing with the remaining companions by the fire. Most of them had stayed in camp, except for Gale, the twat, who blew himself up too early and barely scratched the Netherbrain.
He could get used to life in darkness again, he guessed, but it was only a question of time until all of his companions would move on.
Karlach would go on to Avernus with her dedicated puppy Wyll in tow, Shadowheart would return to her parents to make amends and try herself gardening. As for Laezel, she had mentioned that she and Minthara had plans to open up a childcare facility in Menzoberranzan, obviously intending to convert the hoard of toddlers into a fierce troop of deceptively big-eyed fighters.
It all sounded quite fun, more or less but he wasn’t part of any of it. He didn’t really want to either but that wasn’t the point.
He would be alone, soon.
He had nowhere to go. No home. No family.
He felt it most when he rarely emerged from his tent during the day and no one was at camp but all away on adventures or whatever, and he? He was seeking shelter from the scorching rays of that wretched star to do the simplest tasks.
What would he do when everyone had left?
Something tightened in his chest.
He shook his head, not ready to deal with that question now.
Everything lay still at the lakeside.
He wished he could sink into the silver water and not emerge. Just float in cool silence.
Maybe he could just rest at the shore for a little while, he thought. Put his feet into the water and rest. Returning to camp now was too much a defeat.
He rubbed his eyes quickly and then moved towards the shore.
Astarion had barely stepped onto the clearing when something rustled behind him, grabbed his waist firmly and buried its face in his neck to bite.
He jumped on instinct.
In a split second, adrenaline was pumping through his veins setting every fibre in his body on fire. Every muscle tense as steel, he heard himself growl and with strength he didn’t know he had, he shoved the large figure away, his heart pounding furiously against his ribs.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-...” The other man paused, watching the panting vampire intently.
Halsin.
“Maybe I was a little too ferocious there.” He grinned playfully, seemingly unfazed by the other’s violent reaction. He took a step forward and reached out.
“Don’t touch me.” Astarion hissed and evaded his hand.
“Oh.”
Shaken to the core, he watched the other blindly until he had taken a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Get a grip.
“I did not intend to scare you.”
Astarion turned away from him, avoiding his searching gaze and exhaled.
He wasn’t in Baldur’s Gate. It wasn’t...There was no reason to be this upset. He closed his eyes and then straightened his body.
“I apologize. Forgive me.” He heard him say and raised his head determined not to show weakness in front of his companion.
“I was concerned that you might have doubts or that all of this might have been too soon...”
Halsin’s tender expression effortlessly smoothed over the last waves of panic his fervent assault had caused.
“No, I-it’s fine. You just reminded me of something I would rather forget.” Astarion tried a smile but it came out crooked. “That is all.”
For a moment, he stared out to the soft reflection of the moon tickling the surface of the lake and closed his eyes, still shaken, but carefully putting that awful memory, and all the other dark thoughts he’d had, back into the heavy chest they belonged into.
“Will you let me try again?” Halsin’s satin baritone called Astarion out of his thoughts.
“I was being silly, wasn’t I?” He searched for confirmation in his dark eyes but found nothing of the sorts.
“I would rather you told me when you want me to stop than bear it silently.” The druid made a step towards him.
“Hah. Hahahaha.” Astarion found himself laughing incredulously.
“What’s there to laugh about?” He frowned.
“Believe it or not. No one’s ever told me that.” He said meaning to be cheerful but ending on a rather serious note.
“Astarion, if you do not desire this, you only have to-”
“No, please. Let’s just-” Not able to bear the tragic undertone of this conversation, he quickly took off his white shirt. “Let’s just continue.”
He saw the hesitation on Halsin’s face but nature’s call must have got the better of him, for he expertly brushed off all his gear in one smooth motion and stood there, just as nature intended, in the silvery glow of the full moon.
With raised eyebrows, Astarion let his gaze roam the dark druid’s bulky body and caught himself salivating just a little.
He was sure that if he ever got the chance to drink his blood, he’d gorge himself on it until he’d explode.
Halsin closed the distance between them, his hands finding their way a second time to Astarion’s narrow waist. His eyelids fluttered as he pressed a fleeting kiss to his cheek and whispered: “You tell me. You tell me if you want me to cease.”
He didn’t react to his words, waiting, anticipating. “It might be a challenge but I will try my very best to pull away if you command me to.” He planted another tender kiss to his jaw, his lips sliding along the edge until they met the fuzzy skin underneath his earlobe.
“Astarion?”
“Yes?” He breathed, lost in the touch of Halsin’s soft caress.
“Did you hear me?” He whispered into the nape of his neck.
“Yes, I heard you, Halsin.” Their eyes met as he said his name and Astarion did not resist the magnetic pull of the druid’s words, sinking forward into a kiss that he’d never dare to describe as loving but was loving all the same.
The touch of their lips did not remain slow and steady but gradually morphed into a hot and heavy exchange of teeth and tongue that sent both men tumbling.
Astarion found himself pressed against the ragged surface of a tree, breathing heavily, face flushed, pants tight.
Halsin pulled away and kissed his way down his neck, gently this time, along his collar bone, down the middle of his pecks, over his abs, stopping at the waistband of his trousers to look up, like a puppy would look up at his master.
When he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his clothed groin, Astarion gasped, a surge of heat spreading from his loins to his whole body.
“Oh. Shit.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes, yes, yes.” It poured out of him as he fumbled at is waistband.
“Let me.” Halsin’s low voice reverberated in his skull.
He took a deep breath as he freed him from his leather garments and let his calloused hands languidly trail along his pearly white thighs.
“Halsin.” He couldn’t bear waiting any longer.
“Hm.” The druid hummed contently peppering his skin with feathery kisses.
“Will you please.”
He raised his gaze.
And here we are. Right here.
Halsin looking up at a flustered Astarion and him looking down at a keen devotee.
“With pleasure, love.” He kept his eyes on him as he took him into his mouth all at once, in one go.
“Oh, oh, f-fuck.” He couldn’t contain a loud moan as he was engulfed by the intense heat of Halsin’s willing throat.
Without being able to do much else than throw his head back in ecstasy, he rested his right hand loosely on Halsin’s luscious brown hair.
The druid was definitely versed in the workings of the human body just as he was an expert at deciphering the secrets of the creatures inhabiting the world around him.
It took only few strokes of his skilled tongue for Astarion to say his name in warning.
“Halsin.”
But instead of stopping, he gave his pale butt a good squeeze and Astarion came down his throat, embarrassingly quickly.
He exhaled deeply and sank back against the tree. Stars dancing behind his eyelids, he floated for a moment in post-orgasmic bliss.
“I’ve never had a vampire before.” Halsin swallowed audibly and smacked his lips. “Tastes just the same.”
“Gods.” Astarion couldn’t hold back a chuckle.
The druid let himself fall backwards into the grass, arms crossed behind his head, legs falling open, exposing everything he had to offer and then some.
“Come.” He commanded, welcoming the pale elf to his side.
Astarion hesitated, unwilling to admit to himself that he felt strangely vulnerable right now.
The druid tilted his head like a curious dog.
He sighed, smiled appeasingly, it was his turn after all, and then settled next to Halsin on the soft grass.
The moon illuminated them like the gaze of an unwelcome guest and Astarion shivered not because he was cold but he also couldn’t really pinpoint what it was.
As if the druid had smelt his restlessness, he turned towards him and stroked over his chest. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes, yes. Not to worry. It is a little chilly out here.”
Halsin looked at him inquisitively, reading him like an open book.
He felt more naked with this man than he already was. So exposed.
Albeit good at reading people, the druid didn’t pick up on the magnitude of Astarion’s inner turmoil and inched closer. “I know just the way to get your furnace going.”
With a catlike swiftness, he moved on top of the vampire and let himself sink onto his cool skin. His warm hairy body lay heavily but not uncomfortably on him, gradually soothing the rumble in his chest. He could feel his half-hard cock press into his already spent groin.
Soft fleeting kisses were sprinkled all over his face and neck, and for a split second, Astarion thought it was Scratch licking his face and giggled.
Halsin caught his high voice with eager lips.
Finally letting go, Astarion wrapped his arms around the hunky druid, who responded instinctively by grinding his hips into him.
One of his big bear paws found their way to his smooth butt and lifted his leg up to fold it around himself.
I could stay like this forever. He thought, nearly smothered by the Halsin’s massive frame.
I could hide under here for centuries. Warm and safe.
The big man on top of him buried his face in Astarion’s silver curls.
He nudged his nose against the druid’s cheek, looking for another kiss.
But instead, he got a deep grumble: “Will you take me?” Halsin whispered softly onto his temple.
His heart sank from sky-high to down low and his muscles tensed at the thought but he nodded all the same not ready to reveal that it had been ages since the last time he had allowed anyone that privilege, apart from the people that had simply taken it.
Maybe Halsin would have understood if he had told him no but he didn’t know how. He’d already had his fill; it wasn’t fair on the druid to deny him now.
“Let me get on my stomach.” He took a deep breath, unsuccessfully trying to close every possible mental door on his past. This was different after all.
He settled on the grass, resting his chin on the back of his hands.
Just let it pass. Think of something else entirely. The sky, the clouds, the moon. Something far away. He’s not here to hurt you.
Halsin let his large hand languidly slide along his back, marked by crooked scars, right to where it belonged, a finger finding his weakest point.
The vampire flinched at the calloused finger persistently asking for entry and tried to relax. And suddenly it pushed into him a bit too quickly, too roughly.
Before Astarion could feel any pleasure whatsoever, he was transported back to all the times he had to bear his behind to anyone and anything Cazador had invited to his crypt.
The grubby hands, sharp claws and teeth, the sting of merciless palms, the torment of chains around his wrists, the agony of long fingers pulling at his hair, the tearing...
A miserable groan forced itself out of him whilst he tried to silence it in the cushiony grass.
His body convulsed as if everything he had bottled up for centuries was trying to seize this opportunity to pour out of him at any moment. To spill out of him onto the grass and reveal the tortured soul at its core.
“What is it? I thought- I did not mean to...” He could hear Halsin’s apologies but they didn’t penetrate his conscience.
He was still chained to a stone slab, elbows and knees bleeding from the continuous push and pull of someone taking pleasure in his pain.
He heard himself cry.
Cry pitifully.
Violent sobs were shaking his scarred body only for a short while until strong but careful arms lifted him up to a massive chest, hugging him tightly, warm, with tenderness so contradictory to what he was experiencing in his head.
“Shhhhh, shhhh, little creature, rest.” A low voice murmured.
Tears flowed freely down Astarion’s face, taking with them some of the betrayal, the hurt, the isolation he’d felt for years on end, every minute of every day, the slave of his creator.
“I will hold you as long as you need.” The druid whispered comfortingly, rocking back and forth almost unnoticeably.
The arms, wrapped tightly around him, unfolded a bit to allow the gentle touch of a thumb wiping away the sparkling trails on his cheeks, which was enough for him to escape the darkest of places in his mind at least for now.
Step by step his mind retreated from the cold cell into the warm embrace of a most gentle companion.
Astarion found himself cuddled up to the druid’s hairy broad chest, listening to his comforting heartbeat.
When finally, his breath had steadied, he opened his sore eyes and was met with an inquiring, yet patient gaze.
A cautious hand brushed a strand of hair out of his tear-stained face.
He didn’t have to ask.
Astarion took Halsin’s hand into his own and pressed an open kiss into his palm. It was all he had to say for the druid to release him from his embrace.
“Let me...” He moved out of his lap and crossed his legs on the ground, sorting himself.
All the while, Halsin had remained still, just being there.
Astarion looked up and found a patient face watching him. He couldn’t help but smile at the warmth that suddenly spread deep within him.
The large man smiled back and lifted the vampire’s chin with a finger as if to inspect him.
“You scared me.” He said softly.
“Had to get back at you somehow.” Astarion grinned and Halsin huffed but pulled him forward into an inviting kiss despite his annoyance.
Spending a while just rebuilding their excitement over each other’s naked bodies, Astarion felt himself reassured that he wanted this nonetheless.
He needed a new memory. A better one.
He opened his eyes. “Shall we continue?”
“Are you sure this is still your wish?”
“Yes.” He said a little hoarse.
“You shan’t regret this tomorrow.” Halsin doubted.
“I won’t.” He sighed. “I hope that this will make me forget.”
Without another word spoken between them, Astarion separated himself from Halsin and got settled on his hands and knees.
“Like this?” The druid sounded unsure. A hand rested lightly on his lower back.
“Like nature intended?”
“Forget about nature. I would rather see your face.” Halsin objected and Astarion knew why but he could not comply with that level of honesty tonight.
“I don’t want you to watch me.” He admitted unwillingly.
“I will obey if that is what you really want.” Halsin slowly caressed the perfect skin of his thighs.
Astarion remained quiet but lowered himself onto his elbows, waiting.
Blood pooled for a second time in his groin as the other man complied and covered his rear with kisses.
Until the druid murmured something, his lips fleetingly tickling the dimples right above his butt, and Astarion felt slick warmth spread through his insides.
Big fingers patiently but with determination rimmed the dark spot between his legs until they slipped in with ease.
It took him only a moment to make Astarion moan into the grass, one hand wrapped around his growing erection, the other poking with precision.
With each and every one of his teasing strokes, he grew more and more impatient until he finally reached back and grabbed his wrist.
“I want you.”
“Are you certain?”
He knew that Halsin was trying his best to take it slow, but he couldn’t wait any longer. The anticipation was killing him. He didn’t know how his body would react, whether he was truly ready but he wanted to do it. Now.
“Don’t make me beg.” He hissed and let go of Halsin’s wrist.
“You know that I would never.” He withdrew his hand and Astarion felt his breath on his skin. “I am trying to make this as pleasurable as possible for you.”
Astarion bit his lip and looked over his shoulder, where Halsin had started to stroke himself to hardness, soft low sighs escaping the big man from time to time.
“Here we go.” The other purred deeply and patted over Astarion’s back whilst putting a bit of pressure onto him.
It seemed to be fine at the beginning but as the hunky druid moved, the stretch became too intense and Astarion whimpered, dropping his head onto the grass for a moment in order to relax a little bit more. Trying to escape the dull pain, he rocked forward.
“Speak to me.” The druid urged sensing something not right.
Astarion grunted, sucking air in through his teeth. “Give me a moment to adjust.”
Halsin cleared his throat as if suddenly self-conscious of his own size. “Of course, I apologize. We can always stop if it is too much.”
“No, I’m-it’s fine.” He said annoyed with himself.
Even though it hurt, Astarion wasn’t ready to surrender. He knew that this was his chance to work through his trauma with someone who cared, who was patient, who would give him the necessary space and time to set his own pace.
The other stroked along the dip on his back, waiting for the vampire.
“Halsin.” He licked his lips, unsure.
“Yes?”
“Could you do something for me?”
“Anything.” He pulled away a little.
“No, stay. I don’t want you to stop. I want you to –” He couldn’t bear to look over his shoulder, too embarrassed.
“Would you talk me through it?”
The brief silence that followed was nearly too much for Astarion.
“Of course, I will do my best to guide you.”
There was a bit of shuffling, then he felt two big hands on his hips that rubbed along his sides calmingly, diverting to the cursed painting on his back and over the scars so smoothly that it seemed Halsin’s fingers took no notice of the bumpy skin.
“Relax, my love.” He whispered and trailed kisses down his spine unto the very bottom.
Astarion gasped at the sudden wet lick of a tongue on his pucker.
“That’s not what I meant.” He protested.
“Nevertheless you seem to like it.”
The vampire blushed as he felt Halsin smirk against his skin.
“I have never...it’s the first time someone has done that to me.” He admitted surprised. Through all the seducing he’d done in his life, no one had ever taken the time to go down on him like that.
Halsin nudged at him with his nose and put his lips back to work, slowly working his way into Astarion with his skilful tongue.
He could but moan at the strangely intimate feeling, his whole body approving of what was happening at his back door.
He was dripping precum onto the grass when Halsin stopped, giving another lick along his crack and another kiss on his cheek.
“I think you are ready.” The druid rested one hand on his hip and gently pushed.
This time he welcomed him with ease.
“You’re doing great, love.” He purred and Astarion could feel his own cock twitch in response to his tender words.
“Just a little more.”
Astarion grunted, involuntarily clenching around his girth.
“Keep going, beautiful.”
He moaned, soaking up each word of praise.
“You are doing won-derfully.” His voice faltered as he pushed deeper.
A guttural groan escaped the big man behind him when he was finally allowed to sink in deep.
He fell forward, arms like the pillars of an ancient temple around Astarion’s head.
For a little bit, he stayed like this, pressed flush against the smaller man’s rear, unmoving, giving him time to accommodate him.
“This is what paradise must feel like.” He whispered and started to thrust slowly, deliberately, his lips tracing his shoulder. Over and over, in and out until he hit that spot Astarion hadn’t felt in ages and made him cry out.
“Am I going too quickly?” The druid paused.
“No. No. Please. Go on. Please.” He caught himself begging, yearning for another of those electrifying waves of pleasure racing from his toes to the top of his head. He rocked back onto him, grinding his ass impatiently against his lover’s loins. “Halsin!” He called out, making fists in the grass when the druid didn’t comply.
A low growl sent shudders along his spine before two strong hands pulled him upright so that he was on his knees, and his back came to rest against the hairy chest behind him.
Halsin thirstily lapped up the sweat that was running down his long neck and finally continued to move his hips.
Soon enough, they found their rhythm again.
The druid’s hot breath travelled along Astarion’s skin, producing goosebumps all over as he figured out the right angle to drive the pale vampire insane.
Incessant whimpers, moans and groans permeated the air, a symphony of lust in the otherwise quiet forest.
Astarion reached back over his shoulder to look for purchase in the druid's hair.
All doubts blown away, he gave himself into the searing embrace that seemed to lift him higher and higher.
He could feel Halsin’s thrusts become more and more inconsistent, “You’re perfect.” The druid murmured deep from within.
His words tipped him over the edge. "Touch me." He pleaded, his orgasm just out of reach.
It took but one of Halsin's firm strokes for Astarion to burst anew and spurt pearly white onto the waving blades of grass underneath him.
The druid's hips stuttered as he clenched around him, and with a few forceful blows, he climaxed, releasing an open-mouthed hearty groan into Astarion's lush silver hair.
Out of breath and in a haze, Astarion collapsed on the ground, overwhelmed by what had just happened.
He’d forgotten how good it could feel. How his body could run away with him. How much he had needed this.
To be taken like this, slowly, gently, firmly, body and soul.
It could have only been a minute when he felt something cool and wet on his crotch and then between his legs. Through his lashes, he saw Halsin working on him carefully.
He heard himself sigh deeply.
He watched the gentle giant as he cleaned himself up as well.
And suddenly, the magic was gone.
He’s getting rid of all the traces of you being together. A nasty little voice whispered in his ear.
His heart grew heavy, thinking about spending the rest of the night alone.
Thinking of tomorrow.
Now that he’d tasted a vampire would he want to stay? Would he want to repeat it?
He could already see himself take off to hunt, only to return to his cot where no one was waiting for him.
His body reacted with a surge of desperation that made him jump up and pull the large druid into another tight embrace, squeezing Halsin’s firm body against his that felt so weak and empty.
He buried his face in the crook of his neck and hungrily breathed in his smell. A mixture of earth, forest and musk that he found so goddamn comforting. That helped him ignore the voice that told him, that now that they were done, he was worthless, broken, used.
He traced his neck with the tip of his nose and relished the feeling of running his fingers through his hair as if looking for an anchor to ground himself.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Halsin murmured, wrapping his arms around Astarion’s back.
A soft sound escaped him at the touch and he melted into the druid, hoping that he wouldn’t let go until the sun came up.