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Roy sighed as he finished putting scent dullers on his neck. He didn’t hate being an omega, he didn’t even dislike it, but he still pretended to be something he wasn’t. Realistically, pretending to be a beta would’ve been the better idea, but he had impulsively picked alpha and he had to stick with it. Well, stick with it or admit to everyone he was an omega.
Roy groaned and rested his head in his arms on the sink counter. He knew the other Teen Titans wouldn’t have a single issue with it. Robin was an omega and Wally and Garth still looked at him like he hung the moon. (Roy did too, if he was honest.) They would treat Roy differently, but only in ways to make his life better, not worse.
Ollie, the person Roy was always trying to make proud, would most likely be fine with the idea of Roy being an omegan hero. Ollie was progressive and when he fucked up about things, (which he did do ,) he did try and learn. Even if he wasn’t perfect about Roy being an omega, it would likely be fine.
But Roy… He just couldn’t be honest about it. It ate him up inside, he didn’t like lying if he didn’t have to, but it did feel like he had to.
Roy stood up straight and sharpened his fangs before exiting the bathroom. He couldn’t mope in the bathroom all day, he did have things to do. It was a weekend which meant he didn’t have to physically go to school, but he did have a few pieces of homework to finish. Well, he had to do at least one or two of them. He didn’t particularly care about it, but he had to keep his grades above a certain level or Ollie would take away Speedy again.
He also had to prepare dinners for the week. Ollie was out of town, Roy wasn’t sure what he was doing, so every meal was on Roy. He didn’t mind cooking, really, but it did take time. If Ollie didn’t return soon, Roy would also have to go grocery shopping. Though, he might still have to do that even if Ollie did return within the next couple days. Ollie was inconsistent about that kind of thing.
Oh well. At least Roy had a card he could use for it.
Roy grabbed his phone from the counter. Before figuring out what he could make, he wanted to check for any texts. There were a couple from Dick and Wally, (he did respond to Dick’s quickly, telling the anxiety ridden Robin that he was fine,) but the one from Garth piqued his interest.
Garth: Hey, can I ask you something weird?
Roy smiled and sat down on the, frankly disgusting, couch in the living room.
Roy: Weird is my middle name, fish lips.
What do you need?Garth: What does it feel like to be an alpha?
I guess I could ask Donna, but you feel like the better alpha to ask.
Roy blinked at his phone. Well. Shit. Roy didn’t know how to answer that. He had no goddamn idea what being an alpha felt like. He knew pretending that pretending to be an alpha felt wrong and borderline gross, but that was not something he could say to Garth. That would be one hell of a conversation.
Roy: I think Donna might actually be better for this lol
I’m not great at explaining that kinda stuff.
His heart clenched as he so obviously lied to one of his best friends. He had really dug himself into a hole and he didn’t know how to get out without making shit worse for himself.
Garth: Ah, I’m okay then.
It was more a curiosity than a real question.
The way Garth phrased it gave Roy pause. The beta being curious wasn’t that weird, but it seemed…
Roy: Well, it might be easier to explain in person.
Not the smoothest Roy’s ever been, but he didn’t want it to be obvious what he was offering. Mainly because he was debating his choices. Part of him really didn’t want to be honest, but the other part of him wanted to explain to Garth why he had brushed off the question. He would feel better being honest with someone, he knew he would.
Plus, he had a feeling.
Garth: Are you inviting me over?
Roy: Only if you want to.
But the next Titans meeting is god knows when since Dick is dealing with Bruce going protective alpha mode.
So might as well come over if you wanna talk in person.Garth: I’ll be over soon.
Roy couldn’t help the soft purr that radiated from his chest. He had invited Garth over, but he hadn’t fully expected Garth to be so on board. Roy was close to Garth, but there always felt like there was something between them when they talked.
Oh, he needed to clean.
Wait, he was going to make food.
Roy let out an involuntary chirp as he looked through the cabinets. He put something on the stove to cook before cleaning around the apartment. Roy generally tried to keep it clean, but he sometimes got overwhelmed with things to do and it became… less so. He grabbed some ingredients for a soup that would last him the week before prepping the ingredients and setting it all on the stovetop.
He didn’t let himself properly nest, but that didn’t mean he ignored his nesting instincts entirely. He sniffed around for things to clean before stopping at the couch. The couch cover hadn’t been washed in awhile, but Ollie’s scent still clung to the material so Roy couldn’t find it in himself to remedy that.
It wasn’t like Ollie was never home, he was home quite often, but even when he was physically present, his attention never seemed all that focused on Roy. A large part of Roy wondered why Ollie had even taken Roy in. He was obviously not ready for a child but beyond that he didn’t seem to want a kid. He wanted a friend and Roy…
He tried.
Roy finished cleaning, his tail wagging behind him, before he checked on the soup. It seemed good, probably close to ready but the vegetables weren’t fully tender yet. As if on cue, the door was knocked on right as Roy set the lid back on the pot. Roy shook out his arms, as if trying to force the anxiety out through movement, before scampering over to open the door.
Garth greeted him with an awkward wave and smile. Clearly, Roy’s intuition was right as they were both bleeding anxiety.
“Sit,” Roy gestured over to the couch with his head. “There’s soup if you’re hungry. I mean, it won’t be fully cooked right now, but soon.” Roy felt himself tripping over his words and he hated it.
“Thank you,” Garth smiled before tilting his head cutely. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
“Well… I kind of had to learn.” Roy wasn’t giving the full story, he had started to learn how to cook on the reservation, but living with Ollie had made it more of a necessary skill. Ollie was a fine cook, a good cook even, and he taught Roy more than the basics, but he was also not one to cook often. The man had to be in a good mood, (and sober,) to put the effort in.
“Right… I-” Garth started before shaking his head. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t that I think alphas can’t cook.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I figured.” Roy fought back a blush as he nearly blew his cover before he could even consider going through with his plan. Even though he was hiding as an alpha, it was so surprising to him when people actually treated him that way.
“Look, I- I wanted to ask what it feels like to be an alpha because I just- I don’t understand?” Garth started, his voice more frantic than Roy had ever heard it in normal conversations. “I’m supposed to understand but… I just don’t get it.”
“Supposed to?” Roy prompted, though he could already guess what Garth meant. His heart picked up in speed as he thought about it.
“I’m not a beta. Not really.” Garth admitted, some of his hair falling down in front of his eyes as he looked down at his lap. “I’m- I’m actually an alpha?” Garth looked back at Roy, their eyes barely catching before Garth lowered his eyes again. “But I don’t really feel like one. Or, I guess, I don’t feel like how people describe feeling like an alpha. It’s just… a thing. Does that make sense?”
“I think I know what you mean, yeah.” Roy nodded and grabbed one of Garth’s hands. All of the Teen Titans were physically affectionate so it was not an odd thing for Roy to initiate contact, but it did feel… different as Garth spilled secrets that he clearly hadn’t told anyone else on the team. “It’s not, um, exactly how I feel, but… I’ve been lying too.” Roy tried to swallow the lump in his throat, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. “I’m not an alpha. Never have been. I presented as an omega.”
“Wait, really? ” Garth looked over at Roy in pure shock. “But you… you always seemed so- so much like an alpha.”
“You seemed like a beta,” Roy countered, feeling a bit defensive. His ears lowered before he shook his head again. “I guess that’s part of the problem, huh? Everyone always thought I would be an alpha and now I can’t… I can’t really picture myself living like an omega when no one else saw me in that light.”
“But are you happy being an omega?”
“I mean- Yeah, I like it just fine. But I could probably like being a real alpha too? I don’t know. It’s just complicated.” Roy growled in frustration at his own head before focusing back in on Garth. “I mean, do you want to stay an alpha? I don’t think there’s a way to transition to a beta , but there’s always bitching.”
“I don’t want to bitch,” Garth growled in return before his eyes widened and he let go off Roy’s hand. “There’s nothing wrong with being an omega, but that doesn’t feel like me either.” Garth sighed and noticed the slightly hurt look on Roy’s face, that he was trying to hide, and wrapped the omega up in a hug. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You don’t have to touch me if you need space.” Roy tried to assure Garth, but he couldn’t help the purr that started rumbling in his chest as he nestled inside Garth’s embrace.
“No, it’s fine.” There was still a growl in Garth’s voice which Roy couldn’t help but snicker at. Garth seemed plenty like an alpha to him.
“Are you sure you don’t feel like an alpha? Or do you just not relate to the knothead alphas that seem to be the standard by society?” Roy wouldn’t consider himself smart, but he was observant. Or, at least, observant enough.
“...You might be right,” Garth ran his fingers through Roy’s hair seemingly absentmindedly. Roy’s purrs got louder as he melted under the soft touch. Roy had been meaning to get a haircut, but maybe he would keep his hair long if it felt that nice to have someone play with it.
They continued like that for multiple minutes while Garth thought about something before the hand suddenly stopped. Roy whined and pulled away to look up at the alpha questioningly.
“Oh my god. We have not been treating you right for an omega.” Garth suddenly realized. “Roy. Do you know how much more attention we would've given you if we knew you needed it?”
“I mean… Yeah? I’ve seen how Dick is pampered.” Roy yawned and pressed his nose against Garth’s neck. His scent was being hampered by a patch, but Roy could still smell hints of the sea. His brain felt remarkably… fuzzy all of a sudden.
“I would say you’re an idiot but then I’d be a hypocrite.” Garth huffed and scooped Roy up into his arms as he stood up from the couch. Roy yelped and clung onto Garth’s shirt. “Where’s your nest?”
“Don’ have one,” Roy mumbled.
“I’ll call Dick to lecture you later,” Garth sighed before searching for Roy’s room. “Fine, your bed will do.” Garth set Roy down before grabbing the solo blanket on the bed and wrapping him up. “There. Good enough.” Garth decided before joining Roy on the bed and embracing him once again. Roy let out a soft giggle and nuzzled against Garth once more.
“Yeah. You’re a good alpha.” Roy leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Garth’s lips. Garth smiled and kissed Roy’s cheek softly. He didn’t respond verbally but he did adjust their positions so that he could lick at Roy’s ears which only solidified the new level of attachment to each other.
Roy hummed and closed his eyes, listening to Garth’s heart while trying to dissect all the pieces of Garth’s scent that he could with it muffled. He was glad they were able to be honest with each other. It was so worth it.