Chapter Text
If you ask Nicky what’s the best part of being an immortal, he'll say it depends on who he's talking to. To Andy, he'd say the best part is being able to fight for what they believe is right, protect people, and help make the world a better place. To Nile, he'd say it's being able to form a family with people they probably would never have met in life, but whom destiny has united forever. To Booker, he'd say it's being able to learn new languages, beliefs, and cultures throughout the centuries, acquiring and sharing knowledge.
But for Joe, and for himself, he would say it's waking up in the arms of the love of his life every day, for all eternity. Being enveloped in Joe's strong arms, feeling his nose brush against the back of his head, his fingers tracing the curve of his waist, the warmth of his chest pressed against his back. Yes, that's the best part of being immortal.
As always, Nicky wakes up before Joe. He spends a few minutes in bed, simply observing his husband's serene expression. After a mission as complicated as the last one, with so many casualties, blood, and tears, seeing Joe sleeping peacefully, whole, alive, and breathing brings a little peace to Nicky's heavy heart. It was a failure. They couldn't rescue the children. Nicky knows they'll have another opportunity in a few days when the children are transported to their final destination. But until then, this feeling of failure will be a ghost hanging over their heads.
Around 5:30 in the morning, Nicky carefully gets up and leaves the couple's bedroom, heading towards the kitchen. He's not surprised to find Andy sitting at the table.
"Good morning, boss."
"Good morning. I thought you were going to sleep in."
"I can say the same about you," he says, only then noticing the shopping bags on the table. "Did you get groceries?"
"We were out of coffee. There's a 7-Eleven about 5 kilometers from here. So I bought coffee and a few other things. I just didn't have the energy to prepare anything."
"I got it," he says, starting to move around the kitchen. Andy watches him for a few moments, but soon her curiosity gets the better of her.
"How's Joe?"
"He's fine. He's fully healed."
"That's good. And what about you?" she asks, and can see Nicky tense briefly.
"I'm fine. You know I wasn't hurt."
"That's not what I asked."
"As long as Joe's okay, I'll be okay."
"Nicky, it was a shitty mission. We all came out shaken in some way. Joe may be the one who caught the grenade, but you're the one who had to deal with the aftermath." she says, and Nicky takes a deep breath.
"I know you're trying to get me to talk, and I appreciate that. But I'm not ready yet. Everything that happened yesterday…" he closes his eyes and leans against the counter. "…the way I failed to do my part yesterday… I need time."
"Nobody blames you for what happened, Nicky."
"Tell that to the children we couldn't save."
"The mission isn't over yet, you know that. Copley is searching for the location point; we're going to rescue them."
"I know, but that doesn't excuse my mistake. If I hadn't been distracted, we would have finished the job yesterday, and those children would be home with their families."
"Listen, no matter how long it's been, we can never get used to seeing each other die. I'll never see one of you die and go on with my day like it's nothing. Shit, there are days when I want to put a bullet between Booker's eyes myself, but even then, it still pains me when he gets hurt. Same for you, Joe and Nile. It will never be easy, that's what makes us human." she says, then gets up from the table and walks over to her brother. "But you and Joe… you have something we don't. And we know it hits you two differently. I saw it, Nicky, and it was gruesome. That's why I'm saying nobody blames you for getting distracted."
"You may not blame me, but I blame myself."
"I know that. You and that damn Catholic guilt. Nicky, you know this wasn't the first and it won't be the last time a mission went wrong, for whatever reason. We fell today, but we will rise tomorrow. And we'll do it right next time. Do what you have to do. Feel what you have to feel. But get your head on straight and be the soldier we need to finish this job. Okay?"
"Okay." he says, clearing his throat and giving Andy a weak smile.
After preparing coffee, some scrambled eggs, and toast for everyone, Nicky makes a plate and returns to the bedroom. He opens the door just as Joe sits up in bed.
"Oh, hi. I thought you were still sleeping."
"I just woke up." says Joe, rubbing his face. "What time did you wake up?"
"A little before dawn."
"You slept less than three hours, my love. You should be resting." he sighs.
"I'm fine, don't worry. Here, I made coffee, toast, and scrambled eggs. You must be hungry." Nicky goes to the bed and hands the plate and mug of coffee to his husband, but Joe's focus is elsewhere.
"Nicolò, habibi, can you look at me?"
"Joe, I don't…"
"Please, let me see your eyes." Nicky takes a deep breath and meets his husband's gaze.
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not. I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. But, look, I'm fine, I'm healed."
"My eyes know you're okay, but my heart…"
"Hayati, I'm so sorry you had to see me that way."
"You have nothing to apologize for, it wasn't your fault."
"Even so."
"I hate… I hate seeing you hurt. Every time you die, I die with you."
"I know, I feel the same. And that's why I know you're not okay. You barely slept, and I bet you didn't eat either. Am I wrong?" he asks. Nicky sighs, but soon smiles.
"No. And you're right, I'm not okay. Not after what happened to you and the mission. But I'll be okay. Eventually. I mean, you're okay, and we'll have another chance to rescue the kids and finish the job. And maybe, when this is over, we can take a break. Travel the world for a year, just the two of us. What do you think?
"I think that's a great idea." Joe smiles.
He puts the plate and mug aside and pulls Nicky back down on the bed.
"Now let me prove to you that I'm here. I'm alive, I'm whole, and I'm completely yours."
Joe and Nicky don't leave their room until mid-afternoon. When they finally join the rest of the family, they find Nile in the kitchen, Booker watching TV, and Andy sitting in the armchair, reading a book.
"Hi, guys," the young immortal smiles.
"You're cooking alone while those two relax?" Joe jokes.
"I'm mortal, but I can still kick your ass, Joe," Andy says, without taking her eyes off the book.
"What are you cooking?" Nicky asks.
"Mac and cheese. I think it's simple, easy, and basically everyone likes it."
"Want some help?"
"I'd love to." Nicky stays in the kitchen, helping Nile, while Joe goes to the living room.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Booker asks.
"Like new. But I have to say, regrowing a limb sucks," Joe says, sitting on the sofa next to his brother.
"Yeah, I know."
"Has Copley given any news yet? Any news on the transport?"
"Not yet. But he texted Andy, saying he has something important to show us. He's on his way, he should arrive here at night."
"Did he give us a heads-up?" Joe asks Andy.
"No, he just said it is big and that it needs to be in person." she says, closing the book. "How's Nicky?"
Joe looks back toward the kitchen. He sees Nicky and Nile cooking together, chatting and laughing. A moment of peace after yesterday's chaos. Joe doesn't need to close his eyes to see the images in his mind. They were hired to rescue five children who were kidnapped from a village in Przemyśl, southern Poland. After some research, Copley linked the group to a human trafficking organization. They needed to act fast, or these children risked facing a cruel fate.
The first exchange would take place in Krakow, where the children would be handed over to a "cleaning crew" that would change the children's appearance and create new identities, documents, and contexts about their past. Every trace of these children's existence needs to be erased so that the new background would be valid. This stage can take days, or even weeks, to complete, but once finished, the children would be sent to a new exchange point, to then be dispatched to their final destination.
Every mission is important for the old guard, but missions involving children are always more critical for them. The plan was to rescue the children during the first exchange, before they fell into the hands of the "cleaning crew." They counted on the group being heavily armed. They hadn't counted on grenades.
Nicky was supposed to activate the system that blocked all the exits from the warehouse in an abandoned train station, preventing the convoy with the children from escaping. Joe was watching his back. The system was complex, but nothing Nicky hadn't done before. He just needed time and concentration. He and Joe faced some goons, were shot dozens of times, but again, nothing they hadn't done before. Nicky took the computer and successfully activated the first three exits. The convoy was trapped, allowing Andy, Nile, and Booker to attack. They neutralized the group, but didn't find the children. There must be another vehicle. And there's only one more possible exit.
Nicky is trying to activate the last exit system when Joe warns that an SUV is approaching at full speed. Through the communicator, Andy says that the children are in that car, so Joe can't shoot directly at the vehicle. He tries to hit the driver. He yells for Nicky to block the exit immediately. Nicky is finishing cracking the code when he hears the explosion. He knows that sound. It's an RPG-7, a grenade launcher. Nicky feels a chill run down his spine. He looks back and sees Joe… or what's left of him. His left leg is gone, and everything from his chest down is a mess of blood and bones. Nicky feels like he's about to throw up.
He can't think, and before he’s aware of his actions, he's already running towards Joe. He can hear Andy yelling on the communicator, telling him to close the gate, but he can't move. He can't take his eyes off Joe as he takes his last breath. He knows that image will never leave his head. This will be yet another one of Joe's deaths that will haunt him for the rest of his life.
It is only when Joe returns to life, screaming in pain, that Nicky comes back to reality and understands what happened and the consequences of his actions. While he can see the physical pain in Joe's eyes, Joe can see the pain of guilt in Nicky's eyes.
"He's still pretty shaken and feeling guilty. I tried to get him to sleep a little, before we came here, but he had a nightmare."
"At least you're all healed up now. That helps." Booker says.
"Yeah, it helps. But he'll only get over all this when we rescue the kids."
"And we will." Andy says. "So, until then, behave yourself and try not to add any more stress to him, okay? We all know how he gets every time you die."
"I know. Don't worry." he looks at his husband again. This time, Nicky's eyes meet his. Nicky smiles, and Joe is sure that everything will be alright. "I'll take care of him, like I always do."
After dinner, the group engages in some card games, which helps Nicky clear his head a bit. But after a few rounds, he feels he needs some peace and quiet, and discreetly leaves the room towards the back garden. With his mug of tea in hand, he settles on one of the benches and observes the starry night. It doesn't take long for Joe to join him.
"Hi. Can I sit with you?"
"Sure." Nicky smiles and moves aside, making room for his husband.
"It's a beautiful night."
"It really is. It makes me think of the nights we spent at the Cliffs of Moher."
"Ah, where we used to play that stupid little game of yours," he says, and Nicky laughs.
"You only think it's stupid because you always gave up."
"Well, sue me for not liking falling from 200 meters high to my death. But, truth be told…" Joe takes Nicky's hand in his. "You've always been braver than me."
"That's not true."
"Of course it is. You're incredibly brave, Nicolò di Genova."
" Well, I don't feel brave right now."
"I know, that's why I'm here. To remind you every day, until this feeling passes." Joe says, and Nicky takes a deep breath.
"I don't know if it will pass. Seeing you like that, seeing the pain on your face, the light leaving your eyes. I can't… I can't live without you, Joe. I can't. I won't survive."
"You won't live without me, Nicky. We entered this life together and we'll leave it together. You and I."
"You can't promise me that."
"Yes, I can. We won't face this world alone. I promise you that. Nicky, I know this fear. I live this fear every day, every mission, every injury you suffer. Every time you die and leave me behind, I fear it will be the last time I see your beautiful eyes. But then you come back to me and I'm sure God put us in this world together for a reason.
"We were meant to find each other."
"Yes. And nothing will break us apart. I've loved you for a thousand years, and I'm ready to love you for thousands more." he says, pulling Nicky into a passionate kiss.
Their kiss is intense and urgent. Nicky needs to feel Joe's warm body pressed against his. He needs to feel his heart beating, his breath. He needs anything that keeps reminding him that Joe is alive. When they separate, Nicky is breathless. Joe wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer.
"You know, it's been ages since we've been back to Contae an Chláir. We still have our cabin near the cliffs. We can spend some time there after we finish the job. I know you like the Irish weather," he says, and Nicky smiles.
"Is it okay with you if we take a break?"
"Of course, my love. I'm always looking for an excuse to be alone with you." Their moment is interrupted when the back door opens and Nile appears.
"Guys, Copley's here. He wants to talk to all of us," she says, and the couple hurries to follow her back to the living room.
They arrive just as Copley places his laptop on the dining table.
"What's going on?" Joe asks.
"I was updating my alert system, which tracks anyone who might pose a threat to us. Former contractors, enemies, organizations, in short, I keep an eye on everyone who has crossed our path at some point."
"Great, you've become the Eye of Sauron. But why is this an emergency?" Booker asks.
"Shut up, Booker. Let Copley speak." Andy says.
"Yesterday, shortly before the mission, I found something that caught my attention. At first I thought it was a cold lead, after all, it's been years. So I investigated further. I had to hack some very complex and dangerous systems, but I got visual confirmation."
"What did you find?" Nicky asks.
"Not what, but who." he says, turning the laptop over. And there is the face that Nicky and Joe will never forget." Dr. Meta Kozak. I found her."