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An anonymous article submission to Vampiety Bleh, the Camarilla’s trendiest magazine – for the cultured blood-sucker.
Submission rejected on the basis of poor prose, unnecessary and ridiculous authorial interjections, and a second half so egregiously pornographic it is unprintable in any respectable publication.
Dated 7th April 2026.
Greetings true crypt-leavers!
It’s me, the one and only Vesp Bat Child! Here to regale you with the awesome story of how I came under the wing of the coolest superhero in all of Omaha – Darkness Man!
Our story begins with our protagonist (who could it be?!) all on her own, slinking through the dead of the night like a creepy vampire (despite the fact she is actually a half-bat, half-human). She was wearing all black, her outfit consisting of a casual hoodie, a black balaclava, some tight (in a good way) leggings, and a pair of (stylish) leather boots. She hugged the side of a gas station, keeping a sharp lookout for danger.
At this point in her journey through this crazy world, she was acting alone – the best way to avoid freaking turncoats – and she was far from the current justice-delivering super-sidekick she currently is. To get by, she had resorted to petty theft, and right now, her keen vision (and large, but still super cute eyes) had spotted a perfectly theft-able catalytic converter belonging to an unattended SUV. She grinned (but it was covered by her balaclava) (which she was wearing) (because she was a thief) and dashed over to claim her prize.
Crouching down onto her hands and knees, she began her extraction – she had done this so many times, and this time it was almost too easy…
Just had to turn around here to loosen this bolt, and—
Suddenly!
GRAB!
She felt a big, strong (really strong!) hand grip her right ankle, and suddenly she was being dragged out from under the SUV!
“Let me g-ooph!” she grunted, her hood getting stuck on something on the underside of the vehicle, pulling up over her face.
Blinded, she kicked and struggled against the attacker, her caught hoodie slowing them down from pulling her away – but not for long.
R-RIP!
The hood tore, revealing her snow-white hair (as in the colour white, not like the princess). She frantically grasped for something else to hold onto, but the pull on her ankle won out, and she ends up being dragged on her butt out from under the SUV, the ridden-up hoodie still blocking her eyesight.
“Fuck off, man!” she shouted, but the volume was muffled by the two polyester layers over her mouth (but it felt cool).
She kicked out at what she assumes is the attacker’s hand around her ankle, but in fact was a leg, feeling it buckle slightly in response.
“Urgh” came a grunted response (but like a really badass grunt).
“Suck on that bitch!” (I don’t think anyone heard this either but it was still cool). At this point, I realised our daring and plucky protagonist realised that she could just take the remains of the hoodie off, so she did – left only in a (perfectly-fitting) tank top along with the other stuff she was wearing before.
She could see!
And what a sight to see: towering over her, his similarly masked face definitely not scrunched up after getting kicked pretty averagely in the leg, was the coolest superhero ever – Darkness Man!
His moon-patterned cape flapped a bit in the chill wind, and his yellowed, cat-like eyes glinted in the moonlight (trust me he looked really hot hot imposing and sexy). She probably blushed or something really fangirl-y.
But right now, he was being a real dick. She needed to get away.
The white-haired girl lurched forward and grabbed his trapping arm, and while wrenching her trapped leg up, pulled his hands down.
(This bit’s gruesome, dear readers!)
SHHLLLKKKHHH!!
“What the hell!” bellowed Darkness Man, as the girl’s ankle in his grasp was wrenched from the rest of her leg with a really gross noise, glistening blood spraying on his outfit as she stumbled back.
“Catch me if you can!”
She launched into the night sky off her other leg, and silhouetted against the moon, turned back and gave him a wink.
“Heh – Game on!”
Darkness Man gave chase, following the trail of the girl’s blood as she leapt and glided across treetops and telephone poles, her slender figure catching the moonlight in mid-air.
This continued for a while, the superhero keeping a constant pace despite her acrobatics. He was definitely checking her out the whole time (trust me).
Eventually…
Our protagonist had been on the run now for much longer than she expected, Darkness Man ever-present in her peripheral vision. Her outfit had also taken a bit of a beating, her missing foot making her noticeably sloppier when navigating the treetops of the city outskirts – leading to a few slips and near-faceplants. A series of rips and holes now covered her previously sleek getup, exposing parts of her pale skin and wiry frame (in a sexy way).
The girl looked back at where she expected her chaser to be – but he was nowhere to be found. Losing her previous momentum, she came to a stop on an empty rooftop, and crawled on her hands and knees to its ledge, surveying her surroundings.
She was then shocked to see Darkness Man barrelling towards her after doing a really big jump – like 100 feet straight up!
She had no time to react before he—
WHUMP!
Darkness Man crashes into her, sending both of them across the rooftop, hitting into a chimney the only thing stopping them from flying off the other side. Bits of the chimney fall and (maybe) (possibly) hit people on the street below but that doesn’t matter.
For a few moments, there is no noise but the ending rumblings of the broken chimney, and the pair groaning in pain.
The girl tried to get up, but it’s no use – Darkness Man has her arms pinned out to her sides, despite her heavy struggling.
“Stay down!” yelled the caped hero, his rare breaths still ragged from the scuffle. The girl glared back at him, her face defiant, a cheeky smirk appearing before she flung her still-together leg around his lower half and pressed her face closer to his left arm.
“No!”
SSKLURCHHH!
She bit as hard as she could into his arm, prompting a guttural shout. His deep-red blood spurted on her face, and began dripping onto her body.
“GRRAAHHH! You fuckin-”
Tightening his grasp, he easily moved her trapped arms to both be above her head, and swapped a gnarled, powerful hand to wrap around her neck. Felt really good.
He lets out a low, rumbling snarl as the pair lock eyes. His half-mask (turtleneck?) began to slip down and she glimpsed the top of his mouth, similarly eldritch in nature to hers. Huh. Maybe there was a different way to get away with this.
“l-looks like you g-got me, big guy~” she choked out, pressing her lower half closer to him. Her heart began to beat hard and fast, as she turned on her latent human charms – temptation.
She sensed his demeanour shift slightly and grinned, knowing she was succeeding.
Blood still dripped onto her face and chest from the bite wound above her, and she let her long, rough tongue loll out the side of her mouth, playing up her choked-ness (even though he was choking her really tight anyway) and licked up some of the droplets seductively.
“You’re a real brat, aren’t you?” growled Darkness Man, his vice grip on her wrists practically crushing them. Mostly mute from her current strangulation, she replied with a tightening of her now-grinding legs around him, her skin feeling the cool material of his suit through the rips in her leggings.
“Give up the crime – I’ll show you a better way.”
She nodded, her eyes beginning to well up at the corners with blood (but not like a vampire, like a half-bat).
“p…leas… ‘ll be… wht’ver y’ w’nt!”
He released her throat, and in the same swift motion used sharp claws to rip open her tank top, exposing her modest, near-translucently pale breasts and erect nipples. He ran the back of his hand over one, the bloodless chill making her shiver.
A grateful deep breath gave her a strong whiff of his scent – acrid, heady iron and sulphur, wrapped in leather.
“I need… more…” the girl croaked, her grinding growing deeper against what she could now feel enlarging in her captor’s groin.
“You promise to follow me?”
A whimper of agreement.
Her aching wrists are released, but freely escape she did not.
In a scramble of limbs, the denizens of the night shed the rest of their clothes (or what remains of them), their bodies hardly separating the whole time.
Still laying on the cool roof, the girl gazed at the superhero above her. His face was now fully exposed, the gnarled and stretched skin creating a visage equally monstrous to hers. Despite the violence of their first meeting (and their current (sexy) nudity), her heart fluttered slightly. Had she finally found someone who could understand her ‘unique’ life situation? Could he really help turn her life around?
She cast the thought aside for the moment. There were more important things happening. Like the big (like really big!) cock currently throbbing against her pelvis.
“Please!” she near-hissed, her hands grabbing at the yellowed member.
Pulling back, Darkness Man placed a hand to her pussy, the slit wet with blood. Two thick fingers enter her, and an erotic noise escapes her mouth.
He grinned. “Cute. How was someone like you left all alone?”
“That doesn’t matter – I got you now.” (wow, it’s so romantic)
“Now please, fucking destroy me~”
The fingers retreated with a wet noise and a low chuckle, and the girl’s excitement only grew as he lined up against her cunt.
She shuffled forwards on her butt, impatient. He grasped her hips.
Her body was buzzing for the first time in a while, then so quickly—
“Ohfuck!”
So big.
A visible bulge travelled up her lower half as he plunged into her.
“Heh – how does justice feel?”
“Shut the fuck up and – ohshit – fuck me”
“Noted”
He hilted inside her, a fluttering moan filling his ears as her walls constricted in pleasure. She definitely couldn’t be a vampire if this still felt so euphoric.
The bulge retreated gradually, before returning again. Fater and faster – grunts and moans filled the air between them as pure lust, that feeling thought lost to the Hunger, overtakes their senses.
PLAP! PLAP! PLAP!
Each thrust shook her frame and sent shockwaves of rapture through her system.
PLAP! PLAP! PLAP!
Her sharp fingers dug into his shoulders and back as they mated, ferocious.
PLAP! PLAP! PLAP!
She felt like she was being split in half.
“PLEASE! PLEASE!” howled the giddy delinquent. She wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed.
Even though there was no real request, her subconscious wish was granted.
“HRRRKK”
A flood of thick blood, a twisted imitation of human seed, spilled uncontrollably inside her.
She orgasms, and crashes her mouth to his, her slender tongue mingling with his in a bizarre ‘kiss’ (not the blood-sucking one).
“MMMhhmmMMhh…”
He continues to thrust and ooze into her, but as his reserves run dry he slows, eventually collapsing over her – a dumb grin on his face.
“That good enough?”
“Yes sir!” she giggled.
If they weren’t allergic to sunlight, the pair would have laid there for hours, a genuine feeling of contentment satisfying the girl’s mind.
Besides, she would be working closely with Darkness Man – her hero (just hers) – from now on, as the daring Bat Child!
But just for the next few moments, she was able to lay, filled both with adoration and lots of (fucking incredible) blood-jizz, the happiest half-bat half-human in the world.
Anyway yeah this is my awesome vampire article please publish it and give me money thank youuuuuu <3