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He couldn’t lose her.
White dust twinkled weakly in his shaking hands. Pupils shrunk to tiny dots. Lips paled and parted. Tears were heavy in each socket, yet none ever trickled and instead blurred his dizzying vision. Fingers shook and twitched violently. Hands trembled and stiffened all the way up to his bruised shoulders.
He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t lose her.
The sound of Grima’s deafening roar finally reached a silence. The force around them changing so suddenly, Chrom only felt his body being pressed downwards, elbows scraping the dead dragon’s back and forehead bumping against the cold, scaly ground.
He couldn’t…He couldn’t lose…her…
He heard noises. He heard voices calling his name. Was it Lucina? Was it Morgan? He couldn’t tell. He wasn’t able to for all he could think about, all that was ever occupying, haunting his mind right now was the love of his life.
All that could ever rip his heart out into bloody pieces was the image of her disappearing into the abyss.
Drip…
His face felt cold. His hands felt colder.
He couldn’t lose her—He didn’t want to lose her!
And yet, Ro—Rob—in…
The hollow pain in his heart felt excruciatingly unbearable.
—
The corpse of the damned dragon seemed to taunt him.
Royal blue eyes were dead on the sight. His arms, though healed yet scarred, remained limp by his sides. His throat burned from speech that he made, and ached even more from the maniacal yelling that had pierced through the heavens. The Shepherds’ vows and promises bloomed a tiny glint of hope in his heart, yet it never once rid the sorrow, the agonizing emptiness that had scorched a hole in his heart.
The others had gone back to camp, immediately seeking healing and medical care if they wish to fully enjoy their victory.
Despite Lissa’s insistence, despite Frederick’s reassurance – hell, despite Tharja’s blatant threat – he only deafened his ears and didn’t move from the battlefield. Blood had long stopped flowing out his body, thanks to Lissa’s and Maribelle’s aid. The bones in his body felt like it had been joined back together. The scars on his skin didn’t seem to rip apart anymore.
He really wished he could say the same about his withering heart.
Royal blue eyes were frozen on the damnable corpse. It taunted him. It mocked him. As the dragon’s upper jaw plopped weakly in the hard, hot sand, Chrom could see the giant sockets where its eyes used to be. Its gaze was as dead as it should be, yet the great lord couldn’t help but gritted his teeth tightly to hear the faint, dastardly echo of Grima’s laugh.
It taunted him. It mocked him. The more Chrom looked, the more he wanted nothing more than to take anything that’s near to him and throw it at the rotting corpse—
“Father…”
Quivering pupils dilated slightly.
He didn’t turn immediately, though head turned just the slightest to the right.
For a second there, Chrom almost spun himself and tripped when all he ever saw was her.
Lucina and Morgan merely watched the emotionally empty carcass that was their father. Their eyes too were puffy and red, the royal children briefly held their breaths before slowly, carefully taking one step forward.
“F-Father…” Her voice was raspy. “I…Let’s go back to camp…” Tone brittle and shaky, Lucina curled her fingers into tight fists. “M-Mo…Mother wouldn’t want us—wouldn’t want you to stand here for so l-long…” She thought the tears were gone for today. She hoped that the façade of her strength would hold her on for so long for her family.
But alas, she was only human.
“Ple-ase…” Voice finally cracked from the gargled sobs, Lucina dropped her head down and clenched her jaw so hard.
She then flinched at the feel of her left hand being nudged and cupped.
Quickly she gawked to the side, only to gape in stupor at the sight of her brother staring forward.
“Please.”
Just like her, his heart too was broken and demolished into pieces. Just like her, his voice too was guttural and coarse from the constant screaming and crying.
Though, unlike her, apathy had flashed in the poor boy’s eyes.
“Please.” Again he pleaded. Hazel eyes focused on his father’s back, Morgan took a slow, shaky breath. “Let’s…go back to camp.” White teeth chattered poorly behind pressed lips. Cheeks flushed and eyes burned, the grandmaster raised his head and focused his gaze on Chrom.
He didn’t want to look at the dragon’s corpse. He didn’t think he could bear it if he did.
His right hand gently squeezed his sister’s left. “-ease…” His vision split into two. His breathing ragged inside a burning throat. “Father…” Apathy still clouded his eyes, through tears began to tear through right out of the corners.
He tore his gaze away, blurry vision now focused at nothing in particular. “H-ome…” The word shook between quiet sobs. “Let’s…h-home…” He felt his sister’s hand squeezing his fingers; her hand was warm.
Fury and guilt gloomed heavily in the poor boy. “Home…” His head shook. His body trembled. “Let’s—”
Tap, tap.
“L-Let’s…” Eyes squeezed shut, Morgan inwardly hissed at the tears that trickled down.
Tap…tap…
“Home—”
Words turned to silent gasps once he felt his body being pulled forward.
Both kids gawked and squeaked faintly at the sudden embrace. Her left cheek nuzzled something while his right cheek nuzzled what Morgan quickly realized was soft hair.
Their father was shaking terribly out of the two of them.
Chrom didn’t say a word, for broken cries and hitched breathing had stolen his ability to form words. So instead he tightened his hug, strong arms firm yet careful around the kids’ shoulders. Chin rested on a spot where their shoulders met, the Ylissean king gasped weakly and slowly shook his head.
His legs were shaking. His body was heavy.
Until finally, the moment Chrom felt their arms wrapping around his back, he had lost all energy and finally, shakily kneeled to the ground.
Their hugs never did break apart for Lucina and Morgan followed suit, their embrace tightened even more.
—
Months had passed since the Shepherd’s victory. Ylisse was celebrating. Ferox was in bliss. Even Plegia and Valm, despite having a terrible history with Ylisse, were slowly picking up their pieces in order to form a better, more peaceful kingdom.
Celebration in the Ylissean kingdom wasn’t as grand as it should be, however, for the sacrifice of their queen took a great toll on them.
It took the greatest toll on their king; they knew. His smile was warm, yet pitifully forced. His eyes were gentle, though tainted with red. He rarely spoke to his people, but did manage an inspiring speech or two so that they wouldn’t worry too much. He rarely got out of the castle, but found it in his heart to meet his fellow citizens if they ever dropped by to either check up on him or give him their thanks.
Most of time, though, Chrom kept himself busy, kept himself occupied so that his heartbreak wouldn’t tighten its hold around his heart.
It usually worked. Usually.
He had sent a search party for her from the moment he arrived back to Ylisse. He wished to see her, to find her, to pull her into his hug and never let her go. But out of Lissa’s and Frederick’s advice, Chrom forced himself to stay in the kingdom, tending to the people and reassuring them that the war was over, that peace had finally been achieved.
Every nerve of his body wanted to go find her, wanted to go see her for himself so that he knew this horrible, hollow feeling in his chest was just a nightmare.
—
After almost a year since her disappearance, Chrom managed to convince his royal advisors that he would lead the search party, that he would go and find her even it took him to the far end of the earth.
Alas, every time Chrom came back, the Shepherds held back their tears and pity to see the despicable despondency that gloomed in his eyes.
—
Robin.
The sentence felt like a mantra that haunted him the moment he woke up.
Robin. Robin.
The bedroom looked big without her. The bed felt empty without her.
Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin.
Every morning he gazed at the empty spot in the bed. Every morning he reached out and felt the cold air that taunted his very touch.
Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin.
Her name echoed madly in his head. Her name torn and shred the very pieces of his dying heart.
Rob—in…Robin, R-Ro…Robin…
His right palm plopped weakly onto the cold, empty spot.
I m-miss you… He felt like barbed wires had choked around his throat. I…I-I need you…
His hand curled into tight fists, dull nails tearing through the little scars that marked his palm.
Robin…
Head weakly nuzzled into the pillow, Chrom only hardened his jaw and curled closer into a fetus position.
Robin…
Like all his mornings, he really wished he was dreaming right now.
—
Little Lucina was growing up to be a splendid child. Albeit her mother’s absence, she was never once strayed from the love of her father. The young princess was too young to understand anything properly after all, and Chrom was thankful for that.
“Who’s Daddy’s little girl?” he cooed sweetly to the little princess. Arms carefully holding her, Chrom bit back a laugh to see his daughter bobbing excitingly as she sat on his lap.
Words were unintelligible. Various bubbling noises burst from her pretty pink lips. Chubby arms waving up and down, Lucina then clapped once at the sight of her father.
He couldn’t help himself from laughing, after all.
“That’s right!” He leaned closer and kissed her forehead. “You’re Daddy’s little girl!” Teeth then nibbled the insides of his right cheek to feel her hopping on his lap again. Sitting up straight, Chrom carefully brought her closer until he lifted her to his arms.
Left arm rested under her butt and legs, he placed his other hand to the back of her head. “Daddy loves Lucina so much!” Body gently swaying left and right, he placed a soft, warm kiss to the left side of her head.
He was never tired of listening to her giggles.
“Mommy loves Lucina too…” Voice softened out of endearment and woe, Chrom briefly stiffened before exhaling through his mouth. His smile wavered. White teeth firmly nipped the insides of his cheeks. Thankfully, Lucina didn’t realize the sudden change of atmosphere, but she did calm down and now nuzzled her father’s shoulder.
“You miss Mommy, don’t you?” Head turned slightly to meet her face, Chrom pressed another kiss to her forehead. “Wanna go talk to Mommy, sweetie?”
The little girl didn’t give a proper reply, but her tiny smile and the endearing twinkle in her branded eye were more than enough to bloom his heart.
“Alright then.” His chest clenched. His smile stayed.
Slowly he turned to the balcony. From inside, he could spot that the stars that were a beautiful twinkle. The moon itself was a brilliant shine, and every step that he took felt like a hand – her hand – was reaching out for him.
One foot slowly stepping into the balcony, Chrom silently urged Lucina to look up at the night sky before looking up himself. “Hello, dear…”
—
He missed his wife dearly.
Every second, every minute, every hour he thought of her, needed her. The middle of the year had reached its time, and Chrom bitterly knew it wouldn’t be long that the second year of her absence would arrive anytime.
His feelings for her never wavered. Not once.
Thankfully, he learned that the empty feeling in his chest was able to be healed with something else. It wasn’t much, but it was a good alternative. It wasn’t a replacement; Gods, he’d rather die than find a replacement for his missing half. But as painful as it may be, Chrom knew holding on to this despair would lead to nothing.
So he was thankful. As painful as it was to know that his beloved other half wasn’t by his side, he was thankful for the children who remained loyal and loving by his side.
“Do you love it?” Excitement gleamed in a pair of brilliant blue eyes. Arms carefully holding the younger version of herself, Lucina gave Little Lucina a gentle bob before looking at her little brother. “I and Little Lucina made the dress entirely from the clothing we found in the closet. It looked empty, so we decided to draw the decorations ourselves!” Pride swelling even more so than the toddler, Lucina cocked her head and let out a proud huff.
Little Lucina merely laughed in glee at her ‘big sister’s joy. The giant clothing – a dress, Lucina reassured many times – basically swallowed her body, yet it was an adorable wonder that she was still able to wave her arms up and down. The clothing draped down and down until it almost reached Lucina’s knees. A variety of drawings had been scribbled on the cloth, showing from faces of people – her family, Lucina convinced happily – to weird, incomprehensible drawings of what one assumed would be…an octopus?
Morgan was speechless, to be honest.
“Well…” Truly he was.
Hazel eyes looked up and down and up and down at the ‘dress’. Arms casually crossed against his chest, he then focused his gaze on the two versions of his dear sister. “It’s…something.” Laughter tickled his throat, but Morgan poorly bit the insides of his mouth to stifle it.
Sadly, he didn’t do a good job at hiding it.
“Morgan, don’t laugh at Little Lucina’s creation.” Though Lucina’s tone was blunt, her younger version couldn’t care less and bounced in her arms in sheer excitement.
That was the last straw for Morgan.
“Morgaaaan!” A whine finally broke out, cheeks then flushed in red at her little brother’s laugh. However, as mad as she was, she couldn’t be mad for so long especially when Little Lucina started laughing along.
From afar, Chrom only watched as his children bonded. A smile, so sincere and genuine, curled his pale mouth. His cheeks felt a tad warm at the sight. His heart ached so cosily in his chest.
He missed his wife dearly.
But he knew he always had them to help him in this excruciating time.
—
Two years.
Two years had long passed since her absence. Some had moved on with their lives. Some had literally moved on to another kingdom. His friends and family still stayed in touch with him, and some even helped him in search for his lost queen.
It had been two years without any good news.
In the morning, he would do his royal duties. He would tend to his people and have meetings with the councils. Other times he would play with the kids and have a chat with his fellow friends. Chrom started to smile more, laugh more. He started to get out of his castle more often, mostly accompanied by Frederick or his kids – who insisted to be disguised as knights so that they wouldn’t look suspicious by his side. Chrom started to see the brighter side of things. He was thankful for this glorious future. He was thankful for this beautiful moment of peace.
He wondered if the Gods might find him greedy if he wished for more.
At night, he would rather be alone. Though the dinners he had was never on his own, Chrom oftentimes excused himself early just so he could be alone in his room.
No matter how many times he entered, he always shivered to see just how empty his room was.
—
“I miss you…” Mumbles were faint through pale lips. He faced the right side of the bed, his own right hand still pressed to the empty spot. “I miss you so much…” Though eyelids getting heavier at each passing breath, Chrom tried to hold on what’s left of his aroused mind.
“Come back home, my love…” His eyes felt warm. “The kids really miss their mother.” His chest really hurt. “Your husband really misses you…”
Trembling fingers curled the bedsheet.
“Come…” A yawn broke out, “home…”
He wondered if it was a dream that he could feel something wet trickling his cheek.
—
It was a normal day for House Ylisse.
It was a normal day for the royal exalt to go through with his life.
Chrom spent time with his kids and sister. He spent time with his loyal second-in-command and sugar-loving thief. If all work were done, he would occupy his mind by either walking into the castle gardens or sparring with his fellow comrades. Time passed by quickly for Chrom. And before he knew it, night time had painted the sky.
It was like any other normal day for him.
“MILORD!”
Chrom actually jumped at the sudden shout of the great knight. Royal blue eyes widened so dumbly. Pale pink lips parted to a tiny ‘O’. Quickly he looked at the front doors of the throne room, his stupor only intensified to see Frederick kneeling and panting heavily right in front of him.
“F-Frederick?” Cautiously Chrom asked, right hand slowly reaching out for the still gasping great knight.
Before he could even reach the top of his head, Chrom stopped immediately when Frederick cocked his head in his direction.
Before Chrom could ask about his wellbeing, he instead fell in dead silence once Frederick declared, “We’ve found her.”
Deafening silence filled the entire room.
Turns out it wasn’t like any other day, after all.
—
Chrom had never ran so fast in his life.
His legs moved on their own. His heart was about to burst right out of his chest in seconds. Air was rapid and choppy in the king’s lungs, but he couldn’t care less even if he tried. Cheeks were flushed. Head was dizzy. If it weren’t for Frederick, Chrom would have tripped and hurt himself more times than he could keep count.
She’s here! That’s the only thing in his mind.
She’s here, she’s here! Those were the only words that echoed in his brain.
Finally, he arrived at the destination. He recognized the place; it was a meadow; the very meadow that they’d first met.
He spotted a band of Shepherds crowded around a single spot. He saw Lissa crouching next to someone – to her.
Her.
Robin.
He spotted a splash of hair that he missed to brush. He spotted a delicate hand that he missed to kiss. Though body mostly hidden by the small crowd, Chrom gasped – cried – at the sight of the body he missed – truly, horribly, truly missed – so much.
Robin, was all that sang in his mind as he took a staggered step forward.
Robin, was all that curled around his heart as he stretched out his right hand.
Upon realizing that he was approaching, everyone quickly made way. Finally, Lissa scooted a few steps back, her smile shining on her face and brown eyes twinkling in pure bliss.
Robin… His cheeks felt wet and his teeth chattered wildly behind quivered lips.
But hell, he couldn’t give a damn.
Finally, he stood in front of her. Finally, he fell to his knees by her side. Whether or not he had realized it, the Shepherds around had backed away slowly in order to give him space. Only Lissa remained close to him, though the distance was increased for his comfort.
It was her, Chrom awed. It was her.
Her chest was heaving calmly. Her cheeks were flushed with colour. Royal blue eyes then darted to her nose; oh how overwhelmed he was with relief to hear breathing slipping out of her nostrils.
Y-You’re home… A tiny, cracked mixture of a laugh and a cry slipped out of his mouth. You’re…Y-You’re h-home… Vision briefly blurred, Chrom quickly rubbed his eyes and gawked at nothing but her.
Robin… One shaky hand reached out for her, fingers twitching, trembling, hungering for the warmth of her body. Robin…
It felt truly pitiful to be gasping so loudly once he felt the soft, reassuring warmth of her right hand.
But hell, like Chrom cared.
Robin… He couldn’t lose her. Robin… He didn’t ever, ever want to lose her.
—
The throbbing pain in her head slowly roused her awake. A tiny, groggy groan slipped out of those pink, rosy lips. The corners of her eyes twitched. The clench of her teeth hardened. She heard noises. She heard voices.
But most of all, she heard his voice.
Her eyelids weakly fluttered open. Sunlight peered through her eyes, making her groan again before slowly, heavily dragged her right hand to shield her eyes.
“I see you’re awake now…”
She swore her heartbeat had stopped for a second.
Eyes now wide as the sun above, Robin gawked to the direction of the voice. Though head now numbed with pain, she gasped silently once she saw the face of the man she missed so much.
“T-There…” His voice was shaky. “There are better places to take a nap than on the ground, you know.” His eyes were puffy.
And yet, Robin could perfectly see the beaming curve of his smile.
One hand was positioned right above her. “Give me your hand.”
Realization carefully sinking in, Robin slowly, eagerly, reached out for his hand.
And once she did, she felt as if her body was flying for the next thing she knew, she was already wrapped in a desperate, firm, loving hug.
“Wel—Welcome home, my love…” To hear his stammered voice, to feel the warmth of his hug, Robin broke out a tiny laugh albeit the growing tears in her eyes.
“I missed you…”
END