Chapter Text
Kaveh entered the home he shared with Alhaitham; it felt strange to step inside after all that had happened but it felt welcoming nonetheless. It took Kaveh a moment to leave the foyer and followed Alhaitham into the living room. He felt nervous, so nervous that he began to feel nauseous. He could only hope that their conversation wouldn't turn into an argument like so many before.
Alhaitham took his coat off and tossed it over the arm of the couch before sitting down.
“What is it that you would like to talk about Kaveh?” Alhaitham asked.
Kaveh gulped loudly, taking a moment to gather his scattered thoughts. He could hear his heart pounding loudly in his ear and was doing everything possible to not freak out.
Deep breaths… You can do this, just… tell him what has been on your mind.… It is not that hard. Right?
“I…. I don't even know where to begin,” Kaveh sighed loudly as he ruffled his hair. “My mind has not stopped racing since I woke up. There is just way too much to think about and I was already behind on so many things before the temple so that means I am now even more behind. On top of processing the whole judgment thing as well as….”
Kaveh began to pace and continued to list off random things, as the list grew, Alhaitham began to notice that Kaveh started to panic and reached out to grab his arm, forcing him to stop.
“Hey. One thing at a time ok?” Alhaitham said in a soft tone. “Let's start with us. What has you so high-strung?”
Kaveh could feel his body tremble and closed his eyes before taking in a deep breath. Doing his best to stop his heart from pounding inside his chest.
“I… I am scared. Incredibly scared.” He admits to Alhaitham before slowly sitting down on the couch beside him and folding his hands neatly into his lap. “I have been… Very happy that we can talk and not have it end in an argument but I.… I fear that things will go back to the way they were before and I don't want that to happen…”
Alhaitham noticed that Kaveh's hands were trembling slightly, indicating that he was truly terrified. He couldn't blame Kaveh, in fact, he too was just waiting for one or both of them to get so upset that they began to argue.
“I understand… I don't want us to fight anymore either. We should be able to live together peacefully and I know that we will have disputes, that will be impossible to avoid but I don't want us to be violent toward each other. That is if you still want to be here…. I-I am not trying to kick you out but I also won't stop you from leaving if that is what you truly want.”
Kaveh was surprised to see Alhaitham remain so calm in this situation, unlike himself, who gripped his hands tighter. Feeling his nails dig into the soft skin. Alhaitham truly did want to make things right between them but that didn't change the fact that the fear was still there. Still looming over Kaveh’s shoulder.
“I have thought about leaving before…” Kaveh confessed, his voice trembling slightly. “But I also have no idea where I would go if I did. It is my own fault sadly… I was irresponsible and didn't care what happened to me in the end. All I wanted was for the pain to stop…”
Kaveh released a disheartened sigh and quickly blinked away the tears that welled up in his eyes. “Ah sorry…” he laughed bitterly before drying his eyes with his sleeve and turning away. “You know me…. just being over-emotional like always…”
Alhaitham could feel his heartache, over-emotional was one of the many things he used to scream at Kaveh during their arguments. It hurt to see Kaveh being affected by it.
He should have noticed it sooner, he should have seen all the red flags and been there to comfort Kaveh instead of hurting him, however, it was all in the past and all he could do now was try to smooth over the rough edges.
Kaveh continued to wipe his tears away, not wanting his emotions to upset Alhaitham but he just couldn't get them to stop. He couldn't help but be frustrated and frightened as he frantically dried his eyes, he had to stop crying.
W-Why won 't they stop?….. I have to make the tears stop!
But they didn’t stop and Alhaitham could see that Kaveh was getting more and more upset by it. Watching his hands tremble as he frantically dried his eyes.
“H-hey it's ok,” Alhaitham spoke softly before scooting closer to Kaveh and placing his hand over Kaveh’s own. “A lot has happened recently. You have every right to cry and you no longer have to face it alone.”
Kaveh quickly looked up at Alhaitham and let out a soft gasp as he watched him slowly hold out his arms. Alhaitham would never…. He would never offer to comfort Kaveh when he was like this. When he was an ugly sobbing mess, Alhaitham would never…. but Kaveh wanted, oh how he wanted to be held, to be comforted, and here Alhaitham was offering to be that person whose comfort he so desperately craved.
“A-…. Are you sure?….” Kaveh's voice trembled as he asked.
Alhaitham tilted his head slightly and smiled. When he nodded, Kaveh could feel the tears roll down his face before practically throwing himself into Alhaitham’s embrace. He never thought that Alhaitham would comfort him like this, he never thought anyone would comfort him for that matter.
To be held and told it's okay to cry meant everything to Kaveh. It showed that he matters and that he is not a burden. Kaveh held tightly onto Alhaitham, his body quivering as tears flowed freely.
“Kaveh?”
Kaveh froze. Oh no…. Was Alhaitham already upset? Had he overstepped his boundaries that fast?
“Kaveh.”
He tightly held onto Alhaitham, unwilling to let him go. Fearing that their hard work would go to waste due to his tears.
“Kaveh, please look at me.”
Kaveh could feel Alhaitham rub his hand in small circles on his back, his voice was kind and his touch was gentle and soothing.
After a moment, Kaveh looked up. Expecting to see an angry or disappointed look on Alhaitham’s face but saw none. Alhaitham gently cupped Kaveh's face with his hands, using his thumb to wipe away the tears.
“It will be ok,” he spoke softly. “You have done so much and even though you have made plenty of mistakes, so have I.”
Kaveh let out a soft whimper before closing his eyes, he didn't just make a mistake, he fucked up and he fucked up more time than he could count.
“To hear you say that… it feels so wrong…. “
“I know…” Alhaitham sighed as he gently held Kaveh's hands. “I know it does.”
Kaveh gripped tightly onto Alhaitham’s hands, he didn't think it would be this hard to talk about what he wanted and he didn't want much, just someone to be with him, even if it was just a friend, someone who would listen to him, care for him, but to actually tell Alhaitham how he feels. Is harder than anything he has done, harder than the judgment, and even harder than facing his true emotions.
Kaveh looked down at his trembling hands and began to feel nauseous, this was too much…
“I…. I can't... I am sorry, this was a stupid idea… I should just go…” Kaveh tried to get up, all the while silently hating himself for running away especially because he was the one who put himself into this situation in the first place.
He knew that this was pointless, even after all he had gone through he was still the mess of a person he was before, did he really think that all his years of suffering would just magically disappear over three weeks? That was laughable.
However, when he stood up with tears in his eyes to run away, Kaveh found himself being yanked into Alhaitham’s embrace once again. He instantly froze, completely shocked, and was torn between wanting to be comforted and running away like he always did.
Kaveh eventually sagged into Alhaitham’s embrace. Pressing his forehead into Alhaitham’s shoulder.
“A-Alhaitham…. I don't deserve this… you know that.” Kaveh felt Alhaitham hold him even tighter and let out a sigh.
“You do deserve this Kaveh. You deserve this and so much more.” Kaveh felt tears welling up in his eyes and buried his face deeper into Alhaitham's shoulder.
“I… I want to believe you… but I just can't get my mind to shut up…” Kaveh slowly wrapped his arms around Alhaitham before digging his fingers into the back of his shirt.
Alhaitham sighed, how could he make amends for the hurtful words he had spoken in anger? There must be something he can do…. Maybe Anpu had mentioned something like last time and as he reflected on their words, he realized that it was not enough to simply tell Kaveh how important he was. He needed to demonstrate his sincerity by putting his words into action. It was important to show Kaveh that he truly cared for him and valued their relationship.
That person… spirit, whatever Anpu was, may have been Kaveh’s guide but they still offered the same guidance to Alhaitham. Giving him clues to help him be better as well.
Taking a deep breath, Alhaitham looked down at Kaveh.
“Words… Spoken in anger, are not always true.”
Kaveh looked up at Alhaitham, his eyes red and puffy from crying, with a look of confusion on his face.
“What do you mean?…” Kaveh asked.
Alhaitham gently moved some of Kaveh’s hair out of his face before continuing.
“I have said some awful things to you Kaveh... Things that you didn’t deserve, especially back at the temple. I was angry and never meant them and I can only hope that you feel the same way about the words you have said to me during our fights.”
Alhaitham was right…. Most of the things Kaveh had said were just him adding fuel to the already burning fire. It was this never-ending cycle of one bad thing after another and Kaveh tried so hard to make up for everything he had done, trying to replace the guilt inside his heart but it seemed that all he had done was not enough and felt like he deserved to be told how awful he was.
“I… I just feel like I've struggled for so long…. I don't know anything else… and I also have failed so many times, I am just going-!….”
Alhaitham placed his finger on Kaveh's lips, silencing him. When he removed it, Kaveh looked more confused.
“Do you know what one of the things I love about you Kaveh?”
Kaveh shook his head.
“You never give up, even when you are at your lowest point, you never once stopped. Do you think anyone else would have survived through everything you have been through? Survived the pure raw emotions that have been locked inside you for so long?”
Kaveh quickly looked down.
“But I am nothing important… and a mess. Just a huge mess.”
Alhaitham tenderly lifted Kaveh's chin, trying to comfort him and offer his support.
“That is not true, look at all you have been able to accomplish. Do you think that any of those stuck-up Akademiya sages could design a building as beautiful as your palace? Not even in their wildest dreams and when the news spread about what you were doing, they became so jealous.”
Kaveh looked up at Alhaitham, his eyes wide with shock. The sages? Jealous of him?
“It is true Kaveh,” Alhaitham continued. “They wanted to come after you so badly because you were encouraging students like yourself to embrace art, to see it not as something worthless but as something beautiful, the students looked up to you and began to ignore the sages and their weird rules. Then when they learned that the one who commissioned you said it was ok for you to do anything you wanted, that made them even more infuriated.
Kaveh could feel his heart flutter and knew first-hand how the Akademiya felt about art. It didn't matter if it was music, dancing, or creative freedom in architecture. Any forms were frowned upon, and seen as worthless knowledge but if anyone in all of Sumeru knew how the sages felt, it was Alhaitham and Kaveh couldn't help but smile as Alhaitham laced their fingers together.
“And that is not the only thing I love so much about you.”
There was more? More things that Alhaitham liked about him? Alhaitham tenderly kissed both of Kaveh's hands as he held them.
“Everywhere you go, you glow as bright as the desert sun.”
Alhaitham watched Kaveh’s face turn a soft shade of red and that brought a smile to his lips.
“Alhaitham I-…”
“I'm not finished Kaveh.”
Kaveh is taken aback by Albaitham's response, there is still more? Alhaitham rests his palm on Kaveh's cheek, causing him to gasp. Kaveh felt his heart begin to race and a surge of electricity pulse through every part of his body when their eyes met, causing him to feel uneasy and anxious as to what Albaitham would say next.
“You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen and not just on the outside. Your kindness to those you haven't met, your passion for everything that you do, and so much more. All those things, make you absolutely stunning.”
Kaveh snorted in disbelief at Alhaitham’s words. Him? Beautiful? Stunning? He just couldn't believe it but it was hard to ignore the warmth that radiated in his body and the lightness in his chest. Sure he has had people compliment him before but none of them made him feel like this and to hear it come from Alhaitham, from someone he loved, made it all the more real.
“You…. You mean that?” Kaveh asked, a slight smile beginning to form on his lips. Alhaitham chuckled softly as he moved closer to Kaveh.
“Every word.” Kaveh’s smile expanded and that made Alhaitham laugh. “Ah, there is that smile that I love so much.”
Kaveh became even more embarrassed, normally he would tell Alhaitham to stop lying, or maybe storm off in frustration but instead, he ended up moving closer to Alhaitham, almost completely closing the space between them.
“C-come on Alhaitham be real… my smile isn't that special.” Alhaitham ran his fingers along Kaveh’s cheek, drawing a soft gasp from his lips. Alhaitham wasn't at all shocked that Kaveh didn't believe him and that was ok, Alhaitham will just have to keep reminding Kaveh how wonderful and beautiful he is.
“It is to me, seeing you smile, hearing you laugh, those are worth more to me than all the stars in the sky above Teyvat. I would do anything for that smile.“
Kaveh felt a warm feeling grow inside his chest and began to feel tears burn in the corners of his eyes, they were not tears of sadness but tears of joy. He quickly dried his eyes, never once thinking that anyone, let alone Alhaitham, would say something like that to him. It felt amazing, it felt strange. He wanted to be reminded every day of how loved he was, how important he was, Kaveh never wanted the feelings to go away.
He leaned closer to Alhaitham, and their gazes met.
“I…. I feel the same about you.” Kaveh mumbled softly, his face turning an even brighter shade of red. “Even though you can be... Annoying at times.”
Alhaitham chuckled softly as he pressed his forehead to Kaveh’s. Leaning so close that he could feel Kaveh’s warm breath on his lips. Each one feels like a soft caress.
“Even though you can be… loud and somewhat demanding, I love everything about you.“
Kaveh could feel his heart pounding inside his chest, threatening to burst free as the atmosphere around them became dense and electrified.
Alhaitham slowly closed the distance between them and when Kaveh felt his lips brush along Alhaitham’s own, he swore his heart stopped beating, and felt his chest hollowed out as he inhaled a shocked breath. His brain threatened to shut down at that very moment.
Could this actually be happening??? This had to be a dream… There is just no way!
But it wasn't a dream, this was very much real and something that Kaveh always wanted.
Alhaitham’s lips felt warm, soft, and absolutely perfect. Slowly, the tension left Kaveh’s body and he leaned closer to Alhaitham, wanting nothing more than to deepen their kiss. He never wanted this moment to end and when Alhaitham tried to pull away, Kaveh threw his arms over Alhaitham’s shoulder and surged forward, drawing a sharp gasp from Alhaitham.
The scribe was shocked at first but only for a moment before sliding his hand around the back of Kaveh’s head, letting his fingers sink into the hair at the nape of Kaveh’s neck, urging him closer.
Alhaitham let Kaveh set the pace and felt their soft kiss become more hungry, more desperate. This moment was everything Alhaitham dreamed of, the warmth that swelled inside his chest, the soft moans he heard from Kaveh. All of it was a dream come true. With a soft gasp, they pull away from each other.
Alhaitham quickly pulled Kaveh onto his lap, causing Kaveh to yelp softly but he didn't protest. Alhaitham nuzzled his face into the crook of Kaveh’s neck, who let out a soft gasp before tilting his head slightly to the side. Offering more of himself to Alhaitham.
“I… I want to make this work.” Alhaitham murmurd, pressing soft kisses to even softer skin. “Let me spoil you…. Let me love you. I want to be by your side for as long as you will let me… if you will let me.”
Kaveh moaned softly as Alhaitham continued to press gentle kisses along his jaw and throat. The thoughts of being loved, of being cared for, was something Kaveh had only dreamed of and oh how he wanted, he had wanted it for so long.
“Archon’s above yes!” Kaveh said almost too quickly. Feeling his face grow warm, Kaveh cleared his throat before speaking once more. “I… I mean… I would love that very much. That is if you think you can handle me being demanding and loud at times.”
Alhaitham chuckled and pulled Kaveh more into his embrace.
“I think I can handle that,” Alhaitham said with a smile and a gentle kiss on the tip of Kaveh’s nose.
It has now been over a month since the events that happened in the desert and Kaveh could not be happier with the outcome. When the client whose project he had been working on learned that he was unable to finish because, according to Alhaitham’s explanation at least, of an injury that he had received on the trip into the desert, the client was more than understanding. In fact, they wanted to double Kaveh’s commission fee since the trip he got injured on was supposed to help him design the project.
At first, Kaveh protested, saying that the client shouldn't have to pay for his recklessness but with some convincing -mostly from Alhaitham- Kaveh accepted the extra payment.
After some careful planning and adjustments to the unfinished blueprint inspired by the very temple in the desert, Kaveh was given the green light to start the project.
On the outskirts of Port Ormos, as the sun began to set, there was a construction site that was slowly starting to wind down after a long day of work. Kaveh stood underneath the shade of a large tent, his attention was drawn to the large blueprint that was sprawled out on the table in front of him.
Everything was going according to plan and hopefully, the project will be finished in the next year. As Kaveh made some small adjustments to the blueprint, he saw a flash of silver in the corner of his eye before being scooped up from behind, causing him to yelp in alarm.
“Guess who?” he heard a familiar voice ask.
Kaveh began to laugh and try to wiggle himself free.
“Archon’s above Alhaitham, you scared me half to death!
Alhaitham chuckled in response before gently putting Kaveh down and placing a gentle kiss on his temple.
“What are you doing out here anyway? I thought you were still in the desert for a few days.” Kaveh asked as he went back to working on his blueprint.
Alhaitham walked around to the other side of the table and casually leaned up against it before taking the pencil out of Kaveh’s hand.
“Do I need a reason to come see my boyfriend at the construction site he has been living at for the past week?”
Boyfriend. That word was still so foreign to Kaveh but he liked it. It made him feel fuzzy inside every time Alhaitham mentioned it. With a loud sigh, Kaveh placed his hands on his hips, knowing that Alhaitham was not going to let him continue to work.
“No, I suppose not,” Kaveh responded with a smile on his face. “Come on give me back my pencil I have work to do.”
Kaveh reached out to grab it only for Alhaitham to hold it high above his head, a smug look quickly formed on his face.
“Only if you promise to let me take you out to dinner tonight, my treat.”
“I don't have much of a say in this, do I?”
Alhaitham walked over to stand in front of Kaveh and tucked the pencil behind his ear.
“No, you don't, I also know you and you probably have not eaten at all today. Am I right?”
As if on cue, Kaveh’s stomach growled loudly.
Kaveh froze, Alhaitham arched his eyebrows and watched Kaveh looking everywhere else but at him before letting out an awkward laugh.
“I um…. It's been a busy day.” Kaveh admits. “Let me finish what I was doing and then we can go ok?”
Alhaitham hummed softly and shook his head as Kaveh walked past him to finish working. He wasn't disappointed in Kaveh for not eating, in fact, Alhaitham knows that when he gets busy he does the same thing but it did cause him to worry. Hench him coming out here to visit.
As Kaveh quickly finished up what he was working on, Alhaitham couldn't help but watch. The setting sun surrounded Kaveh in a golden glow. If anyone had asked Alhaitham several months ago where he saw himself in the future, being in a relationship with Kaveh would not have been his first thought.
He still felt guilty about the whole situation at the temple. The last thing he wanted to do was make Kaveh suffer but since that day, so much has happened and so much has changed. Kaveh was striving to be better, he did have his moments where he resorted to old habits but Alhaitham made sure that he was there every step of the way. Ready to help.
“You really like to stare at me don't you?” Kaveh asked while he packed his things.
“How can I not? Have you seen you?”
Alhaithim began to help Kaveh with gathering up his supplies, making sure to keep everything organized the way Kaveh had them. Once everything was packed up Kaveh turned off the lantern on the table before turning to face Alhaitham, who already had his hand outstretched for Kaveh to take.
“I still find it hard to believe that… we are together you know?” Kaveh gently placed his hand on Alhaitham’s and found himself being pulled into the scribe's embrace.
“Believe it Kaveh.” Alhaitham smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Kaveh’s lips. “I will never leave your side.”
Kaveh smiled and draped his arms over Alhaitham’s shoulders before pressing his forehead to Alhaitham’s. Feeling his heart swell at Alhaitham’s words. He was forever grateful for the love that they now shared.He will never forget the lessons he learned from the spirit only known as Anpu and hopes that wherever they are, they are at peace, knowing that the guidance they have given helped two people, who wanted nothing more than to love the other, see the error of their ways.
And be able to shine as bright as the desert sun.