Chapter Text
When Eren woke up, he felt as if nothing out of the usual was wrong – people were giving him judgmental stares, killing Titans was still on his agenda, he got called ‘freak’ at least once, and he still got pissed off about it. In short, all was normal in the hazy world humans knew as ‘the morning’.
It wasn’t until Eren walked into the dining hall and laughter broke out from Connie and Jean’s direction that he remembered what happened yesterday, wrenching him of his morning daze. It was only a matter of time until he remembered, but he would’ve preferred to have a realisation like that whilst brushing his teeth alone, not whilst standing in front of a large portion of the military and one of the biggest douches he had ever encountered.
He cringed as he remembered bringing his hand forward, and the awfully memorable ‘slap’ sound that followed. What was worse was that it was a nice ass, so in a sense, he didn’t regret it, but he also did, because it was a dare, and it resulted in his head getting bashed against a wall.
It had, of course, only gotten better (and by better, he meant four thousand times worse) when Hanji took it as something else, and Jean played up to it, ramping the whole thing up as high as it could go. The only thing that somewhat reassured Eren was that Rivaille was probably embarrassed about it, too, and perhaps he could talk it out with him, and they would forget it ever happened – but no, that was complete and utter bullshit, Rivaille wouldn’t ‘forgive’ him, and he certainly wouldn’t forget it.
Fire bubbled up in Eren’s chest as he felt the need to break Jean’s nose – it was his idea, and hell, he had probably anticipated how things would go down. His little ‘Eren, that’s where you went! Who would’ve known!’ speech was all too convincing, far too much so to be a spur-of-the-moment deal. He knew Rivaille would be there because Sasha and Connie knew the routine in that building, so of course he knew that Hanji would be around then, too. The fact that he got outsmarted by a dick like Jean was so ridiculous that he could hardly believe that it had happened.
Standing there fuming obviously wasn’t the most dignified thing to do, because now Sasha had fallen prey to the hysteria, too. The ruckus was causing some other people to look over, and glance at Eren questioningly. Mikasa, thankfully, didn’t look amused – Armin was sitting next to her, so he had probably explained yesterday evening’s events.
Eren marched over to Jean, who continued to laugh in his face, and slammed his fist down onto the table.
“You think this is funny?” Eren demanded.
“I don’t know,” Jean replied, trying to stop himself from laughing. “What do you think?”
Connie rubbed his stomach. “This whole thing has got me ripped,” he said proudly, and Sasha elbowed him, causing both of them to burst out laughing again.
Eren bristled at that. So they thought him being the laughing stock of everyone and not getting a thing out of it was quality entertainment? This whole thing was a scam, he thought angrily, and straightened up, ready to throw a nice punch, when he noticed that they had all stopped laughing, and instead were staring past him with very restrained expressions on their faces.
He jolted as there was a sudden hand on his shoulder, and a soft voice said, “Morning, darling.”
Much to his horror, before he could react, Rivaille let his hand slide off his shoulder slowly, almost regretfully, and continued walking, before sitting down on his own table. Hanji beamed at him, and leaned forward with her hands clasped together. There was a wolf whistle as Eren looked on, shocked.
He turned back to his table, and Jean’s jaw had dropped.
“That wasn’t part of the plan,” Connie muttered, and shot Jean a questioning look.
Eren stared at the floor. What the fuck was that?
“Eren,” Mikasa asked, immediately at his side. “What’s going on?”
“I..I don’t know,” Eren answered honestly, and slowly sank into his seat opposite Armin. “I don’t know.”
Jean was spooning porridge into his mouth quickly and distractedly, avoiding eye contact with anyone.
“Oh, so it’s complicated,” Sasha cooed, waving her hand.
Armin looked at her. “Sasha, it only happened yesterday, and you were in on it!”
“What only happened yesterday?” Reiner asked, sitting down with Bertholdt; clearly, they were drawn to the commotion. Great, just great, Eren thought bitterly.
“I don’t think I wanna know,” Connie groaned, covering his ears. “I didn’t think this would result in Eren getting–”
“Shut up, that’s not what happened!” Eren snapped pre-emptively, shooting a resentful glance at Rivaille’s back, and that was what gave the (non-existent) game away.
Reiner looked at Eren, scrutinising. “His hair is kind of messy,” he noted, making brief eye contact with Bertholdt, not unlike the way Sasha and Connie would exchange that look, and then turning back to Eren. “Wait, you and the Corporal…?”
“No!” Eren and Mikasa shouted at the same time.
“Hey, I’m not judging.” Reiner held up his hands defensively, but it didn’t help anything. The number one rule for well, anything, was not to contribute unless you knew exactly what was going on, and there was absolutely no way Reiner could. “If you want advice about anything, you can always ask me.”
“What part of ‘no’ don’t you people understand?” Eren groaned, massaging his temples.
“It’s okay, Eren,” Sasha said soothingly. “I got you breakfast.”
Eren made a face. “I’m not hungry.”
Sasha tried to look disappointed, but it was unconvincing; so much so that people were able to tear their focus from the topic at hand (Rivaille and Eren), and look at her. “Oh, well! Waste not want not, eh, Eren? Would you mind if I just-“
Mikasa snatched the bowl away from Sasha. “No. Eren needs to eat.”
“Eren needs to stop feeling sorry for himself,” Jean stated, finally finishing his meal – it appeared that, at long last, he had formulated some sort of worthy retaliation to Rivaille’s unexpected approach to the whole thing.
“Yeah, he got laid!” Connie said, folding his arms.
“For the last time, I didn’t get–”
“What’s this about someone getting laid?” came yet another voice; Ymir, with Christa. “I have to say, I didn’t expect any of you to get lucky.”
Connie tensed – it was well known that his and Ymir’s personalities clashed. “Thanks, Ymir! Always great to hear a compliment at eight in the morning.”
Eren was distinctly aware of some of the other tables talking crap about them; the more mature people in the room didn’t exactly want to hear a bunch of teenagers bickering.
“Good morning, Christa!” Sasha beamed politely, trying to start a side conversation with Christa, only to be shot down with a glare from Ymir, who had ignored Connie’s quip altogether.
“Potato Girl,” Ymir greeted her. “Aren’t you going to say good morning to me, too?”
“We’re annoying everyone,” Armin pointed out quietly – clearly, Eren was not the only one who noticed. Mikasa looked vaguely aware of the other people in the room, too, as did Bertholdt – but he always looked anxious.
Ymir squashed herself on the table, making the already tight fit even tighter; especially when Christa squeezed in next to her. “I actually came over here to tell you to shut up, but something interesting was happening, so now I want to hear it.”
Sasha and Connie looked distinctly uncomfortable with Ymir’s presence – it was no secret that Ymir didn’t like either of them, and despite Sasha feeling that she was indebted to her, she still indulged in occasional ranting about her with Connie. It was clear that the stability of the conversation wasn’t going to last much longer, and that was what Eren was relying on.
Eren glared long and hard at Jean, who looked pretty damn pleased with himself. It was easy to forget that Jean was actually quite smart; not quite as smart as Armin, but still.
“You knew,” Eren said angrily, pointing at him. “You knew what would happen! You knew that Hanji would be there.”
Jean shrugged. “I knew it was a possibility, but nothing worth warning you about.”
“Nothing worth warning me about?” Eren repeated, through gritted teeth. “I would’ve rather gotten beaten up again than be the centre of this!”
“Eren,” Mikasa said sharply, but Eren was in no mood to listen.
“Can we please just calm down?” Christa pleaded.
Ymir nodded. “Yeah, I still don’t know what’s going on.”
“We’re going to get extra chores for being obnoxious,” Connie complained, slumping down in his seat.
Eren whipped his head around. “And you! You were the one who told him about the schedule, weren’t you? You and Sasha! You didn’t even think of telling me, did you?”
Connie held up his hands defensively, while Sasha laughed sheepishly. “Oi, don’t blame me! Jean just asked us for our cleverly created timetable,” he said, pulling something out of his jacket’s pocket. A piece of brown parchment, covered with what was probably dried up food. “I knew nothing about this game when he asked.”
“Hey, let me see that,” Ymir demanded, reaching over. Connie jumped up, shaking his head.
“Get your own, we worked hard on this,” he snapped, stuffing it back in his pocket protectively.
“Maybe we should discuss this,” Armin suggested, trying to decrease the volume of the conversation. “We can hear what Eren thinks about this, seeing as it is affecting him, after all.”
“Let Eren speak,” Reiner agreed, switching the focus back to him.
Eren wrinkled his noise up. “Jean convinced me that it’d be a good idea to do something stupid, because I’d get some sort of benefit out of it. I didn’t, and they,” he stopped, pointing at Connie, Sasha, and Jean, “promised they would do some of my work. I had to…I had to slap Lance Corporal Rivaille’s ass.”
“Oh ho ho,” Ymir remarked, whistling. “Ouch! Still, if you were actually stupid enough to do it, I guess that’s as far as my sympathy goes.”
I agree, Eren thought dismally. “Yeah, that’s not all. He didn’t get that it wasn’t me making a pass at him; I don’t think it even crossed his mind that Jean set it up. He had me up against the wall, and–”
Ymir raised her eyebrows as Mikasa grabbed Eren’s arm. “What? What did he do to you?”
“No, no! Not like that! He was just going to beat me up, I guess,” Eren corrected himself quickly.
“Yeah, because that’s so much better,” Connie mumbled dryly.
“It looked like we were, you know. Doing stuff. And then, Hanji walked in on us,” he finished off, ignoring a patronising snort from Jean, “and made a big deal out of it.”
Reiner hummed thoughtfully, resting his chin on his hand. “So, that’s where we are now, eh?”
“Oh, no, that’s not it,” Jean interjected. “The Corporal just came in and greeted Eren like he would a lover.”
“They didn’t kiss, though,” Mikasa added fiercely.
Eren tensed up, giving anyone who dared to look convinced by anyone that wasn’t on his side the dirtiest look he could manage.
“The only thing you can do is talk to Rivaille about it,” Armin said eventually, tapping his hands on the table as he thought. “I’m sure he’d listen if you talked to him.”
“He didn’t listen last night,” Eren replied miserably.
“That’s never good in a relationship,” Ymir commented, and only a few people noticed the double-entendre.
Eren groaned, shoving his now-cold bowl of porridge away from him. “This is stupid; this was a stupid idea. How is anyone supposed to take me seriously now?”
Jean leant back in his seat. “Well, Eren, how about this: if you do three more tasks,” he said, waggling three fingers, “I’ll personally explain to Rivaille that the whole thing was my idea.”
“Get lost, you’ve already screwed things up,” Eren rebuked. “I can explain it to Rivaille myself.”
“Well, you better do it now,” Ymir advised, pointing over Eren’s shoulder. “It looks like he’s finished with breakfast.”
Eren jumped out of his seat. “What?!”
Sure enough, Rivaille was meticulously cleaning up his plates, and it looked like he was the first out of his group to be done. Knowing him, he had some important business to attend to, so he wouldn’t stick around.
Eren had no idea what to say that would convince him. Was an apology appropriate? How would he take it? He knew that Rivaille didn’t really have any intention of severely hurting him, but still, only an idiot wouldn’t be at least a little bit intimidated by him.
Everyone at his table looked at him, as if to say, ‘are you going to go for it?’
Like hell he wasn’t.
He ran over, somewhat unnecessarily, to Rivaille’s table, drawing his superiors’ attention to him.
“Ah, Eren!” Hanji said, standing up. “Are you here for some tests, or are you here for something else?”
Damn it, I promised to do some tests this morning, Eren recalled whilst shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Hanji, I’ll do them in a minute, but, Corporal Rivaille, I want to talk to you.”
Rivaille looked over his shoulder, and gave him the usual bored expression, which was a breath of fresh air, ironically. “Why?”
Eren looked around. “Can I tell you outside?”
Rivaille sighed, turning around completely. “Alright.”
Eren looked at him, and then at his table, before leaving the dining hall, waiting for Rivaille to step outside with him.
Rivaille shut the door behind him, and Eren considered it extremely fortunate that there was nobody around outside. It seemed like Rivaille had got his payback – maybe they were even now. Still, a little explanation was in order.
“What is it, kid?” Rivaille asked, looking very much as if he did not want to be there.
“It’s about yesterday evening,” Eren blurted out. “I just wanted to apologise. I tried to explain it to you, it was a–”
“I know it was a joke,” Rivaille cut him off. “What, do you think I was being completely serious back then? You think I’m reciprocating?”
Eren stopped. “Wait, what?”
“You wanted to play a prank on me,” Rivaille replied simply. “And damn, it worked. Hanji would not shut up about you last night.”
There was nothing Eren could say – he didn’t have a clue what Rivaille was on about.
“Don’t worry, though, Eren. I did a perfect job of playing along.”
Eren was stumped. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I follow.”
Rivaille leant back on the wall, folding his arms. “You wanted to make me look stupid in front of my friends. I don’t know or care why. You’re a teenager. Some sort of bullshit initiation ritual, I presume.”
This was not good. Rivaille got that it was a joke, but what he didn’t get was that it was not him who was truly being pranked – it was Eren, it was absolutely, definitely Eren. “No, no, Corporal, you don’t get it–”
“What’s not to understand?” Rivaille interrupted. “You came up with it, not me.”
There was no way Eren could explain it to him, now. He was so stuck on his theory that weaning him off it would be impossible. Eren didn’t even understand it himself; it wasn’t his plan to begin with. “But then, why…”
Rivaille pushed himself off the wall, and walked over to where Eren was standing. “It’s humiliating having your peers think you’re in a relationship with someone you’re not, isn’t it? I can see it on your face; I’m pretty sure your friends were convinced by my little greeting.”
Before Eren could say anything else, Rivaille raked a hand through Eren’s hair, messing it up further, and tugged his jacket. “There’s nothing going on right now,” he continued. “Everyone will drop this the next time we get called out to do something useful. But until then, you’ll have to deal with the mess you’ve made.”
Just as Rivaille disappeared out of sight, round a corner, Hanji burst through the dining hall door.
“Eren, are you done?” Hanji inquired, clicking what looked like a syringe. “Where’s Rivaille?”
Eren fidgeted distractedly, playing everything over in his head. Why did he mess up my hair like that? “He had stuff to do.”
Hanji hummed, glancing at Eren’s hair and clothes. “If it’s not too nosy of me to ask, Eren, what were you doing? It might affect the tests.”
Just like that, Rivaille’s actions suddenly made sense. I look all disorderly; it must look like I was just getting intimate with someone. “I wasn’t doing anything, we were just talking!”
Hanji, however, did not look convinced. “Lying will affect your safety, you know. And my faith in you! I have to trust you!”
Eren clenched his fists. There really was no way out of it. If Hanji, the smartest out of all of them, believed this, then he really was screwed. Hanji had seen ‘evidence’, and that was all that was needed to solidify this. The only thing he could do was get another witness to sort it out…
With great reluctance, Eren resigned himself to the fact that the only thing he could do was accept Jean’s offer. After all, there were only three things he had to do, right?