Chapter Text
Tyler Kennard is a hopeless romantic, through and through.
He loves the idea of love at first sight, seeing someone and knowing they're the one, the one to spend your life with and be everything with.
Someone to turn to, to protect, to have fun with, to love and be loved! Someone to be with him through thick and thin, through sickness and in health, all that! To kiss, hold close, whatever!
Like, hell yeah! Sign him up!
Though, truthfully, Tyler crushes easily. He's shooting heart-eyes a girl’s way one week, and then writing his and another boy’s initials down in his notebook with hearts around it the next.
However, no matter how frequently his heart is captured, that doesn't make his feelings any less stronger.
(In that week, he really did believe that girl was the one. And in the one that followed, he really did believe he was going to be the one.)
As a result of all these crushes with actual sincerity, Tyler’s gotten Hanahaki quite a few times.
Like, enough times that the flowers have become a constant, familiar even if they're annoying. The pretty colors and fun shapes help, the progression from small and shut flower buds to unfurling and growing petals, but, y’know. The painful coughing, irritated throat, blah blah blah.. really overshadows that.
Point is: Tyler's practically an expert in this Hanahaki business!
Tyler can—and probably will always—remember the first time he got Hanahaki.
The first time he threw up buds and petals, for a girl named Maybelle who called herself Mayday.
It all started with a weird, little grape-like ball. Like a bunch of tiny, tiny grapes bundled up in little leaves; it doesn't look too unlike a bouquet from the store… just with leaves and grapes.
It fell from his lips on a random Thursday. She smiled real big, offered him her bag of chips from their school lunch, and said she knew he would ask so she’s offering before he can even think about it!
Tyler had gone home, thought about that exchange while he was playing outside with his basketball (and being very careful to not break another window — or a bone), felt an overwhelming wave of fondness and yearning, and immediately coughed and gagged as something tickled his throat and practically flew up and out of his mouth.
He coughed and that little bundled up bouquet of mini grapes flew through the air—like he shot it from his mouth!—and crash-landed somewhere in the grass.
Later, after he panicked for a solid five minutes, he learned he developed Hanahaki. And that what he had ejected from his chest was a flower bud, most likely a lilac bud. At least from what his mom’s frantic searching could identify.
A pretty purple lilac was growing in his chest. But, like, as cool as that sounded, the reality of it was actually not that cool.
Because a few days later, the buds had begun to unfurl, and then began the bubbly x-shaped petals.
The funny thing is, a week after that whole fiasco, the flower petals began to decrease in numbers.
And then they.. went away.
Or well, like, yeah, Tyler had a really bad cough for a few days but it went away pretty quick. And before anyone knew it, no more petals!
Tyler’s mom was a worrywart in his toddler years but, after so many injuries and incidents, she had mellowed out a lot.
So she had breathed a sigh of relief, grinned, and told him not to scare her like that again.
And life moved on.
..Until he got a crush on the boy his teacher paired him up with for a project; Matthias was his name, Matt for short.
He had been cute, sandy blond hair and green-grey eyes that Tyler loved to see shift colors.
He made Tyler grin after a run-in with a jerk during lunch and it was over.
Tyler coughed up a few tear-shaped green buds. Which would later unfurl into petals, fan-like and soft as silk.
Purple fading to white then to green.
(A quick, sorta long, search on the internet and Tyler later found out they were carnation petals.)
However, this particular crush didn't go away like last time — no, this time he got a rejection to cut it short.
It was during lunch, sitting in their usual spot together near a window, with drab sunlight and harsh overhead lights, that Tyler was exposed.
His laugh, coaxed from his chest by Matt’s own laughter, sent the petal flying into the air. Swirling and driftly slowly, to its own tune and own speed; only 2 souls giving it any attention as the bell rang to signal the end of lunch.
Tyler had followed it with his eyes the best he could before it got lost underneath the stampede of middle schoolers. Matt had only gotten a mere glance at it and yet had completely understood what was going on.
After a lot of oblivious wheedling, Tyler eventually gave up and spilled the beans as they sat down in the back row of their shared class, face prickling with heat and heart pounding.
But after being let down by Matt, after a long and awkward tension as they had to wait for class to be over to actually talk, the petals eventually went away. The conversation was rushed but nice, with Matt asking: “Still good?”
And Tyler replying, while shaking his awkwardly struck out hand: “All good, man.”
It was such a brief affair, the petals had barely been able to really mature, still small and misshapen.
(And as Tyler kept going through the revolving door of crushes, some barely making it past a handful of days and therefore only in the flower bud stage, this whole.. Hanahaki thing became less and less of a whole thing. The pain that accompanied flowers attempting to grow between his lungs began to become too familiar, like bruises and scrapes — background noise in the loud, in your face, hubbub of daily life.
Y’know?)
The first time Tyler had seen Noah was a glimpse. A lanky boy with styled hair that didn't look the least bit styled, layered clothing that probably most definitely didn't go together, and eyes that looked seconds from slipping closed.
But from that very first time, from that brief and forgettable first glance, Tyler never would have expected all the ways that boy would change his life.
(Never would have thought he’d meet his soulmate on a show he was so close to not auditioning for.)
Tyler’s mindlessly drumming his fingers on his knees as everyone chatters—all waiting for this peanut gallery segment to be over with—when someone basically crash-lands onto the spot next to him.
Thunk!
“Woah, dude!” Tyler exclaims, head whipping to the side—
—where Noah sits, eyebrows and nose scrunched. Holy cow! Tyler hasn't seen the little dude around anywhere, but come to think of it.. He should've been around before, even if he was as far away as London. But he hasn't been spotted since his elimination.
Noah looks annoyed, like he always does, but with a side of something else. However, Tyler doesn't know Noah like that, not good enough to be able to just look at the dude and read all the hidden words written between the lines — but, like, anyone could tell, after spending just 5 seconds looking at him, that there's something up!
“What?”
Noah snaps at him, head jerking to the side to look at him with a sneer, his eyes narrowed further than usual. Kinda like a snake, maybe.
“What what?” Tyler holds his hands up, the universal sign of I surrender, I surrender!
Tyler watches as Noah’s venomous glare switches to something more exhausted, more quietly bewildered. He opens his mouth, eyebrows knitting themselves closer together, his eyes shifting from the wide-eyed stare to a disbelieving-squint..
..but after a slightly awkward pause, staring at each other while surrounded by people laughing and colliding with one another, Noah just rolls his eyes and turns away.
It's quiet between them, kinda unsettling and not really comfortable.
But it's not like Noah’s expecting anything from Tyler, and Tyler isn't expecting anything from Noah.
So it's nice, in a way, just sitting and letting time pass peacefully.
(Even if Tyler can't stop himself from stealing a few glimpses of the boy next to him, risking incurring Noah’s wrathful irritation.
But he can't really help it.
Now Tyler is no artist, but even while irritated and clearly tired, Noah is.. He is..
Tyler's never had the time to just sit and look at the other boy before, but now that Tyler’s been given a moment..
It's hard to look away.)
Soo, yeah.
This.. might be a thing.
Tyler fiddles with the hem of his shirt, trying to sleep but unable to as his brain whirls on without his say-so.
But, he’ll be over it before he can even blink, soo..
Whatever, right?
#1
“You good, dude?”
Noah’s tired face, illuminated by pale moonlight, twists into a brief scowl before sighing deeply.
“I’m.. fine, Tyler.”
You don't look it, Tyler doesn't say but he sure thinks it. Instead, he says: “If you say so, man. Want some water?”
A minute passes, and Tyler's pretty sure Noah’s just gonna ignore him, before the other boy nods slowly.
“You know what? Yeah. Maybe it’ll help me sleep.”
“Oh, dude. Ice cold water with the water sweating off the cup always hits the spot!!”
“It's 2 am, quiet down, dude.”
Tyler winces, looking around as if a crowd of sleepy, upset teenagers would pop up and yell at him. “Oops.”
“But.. yeah, I think I could use some water.”
And, however this may only be because Tyler’s tired and not exactly 100%, he's pretty sure he sees a smile curling Noah’s lips.
(It's a really nice smile.
..Really nice.
It lingers in Tyler’s mind, long after the two have gotten what they came for, long after he left Noah in the kitchen to go back to bed.
Makes itself a little spot in Tyler’s mind, snug as a bug and—for the moment—unknowingly treasured.)
#2
Noah’s talking with Eva and Izzy when Tyler makes his way in for breakfast.
It's a bit of a surprise because, to be honest, Tyler totally expected the other boy to still be sleeping — it was late when Tyler found him, and especially late when he finally left Noah alone to go back to sleep.
(And Noah is notorious for sleeping for a long time, if given the chance.)
Did he even sleep?
Tyler startles when Eva growls at him, shoulders rising and nose scrunching to exposing teeth.
Izzy’s still yapping away in Noah’s ear, grabbing him by the shoulders when he begins to look over his shoulder.
Tyler raises his hands and backs away, quickly grabbing a plate to throw food on, just to give him something to do so Eva stops growling. Scary girl.
Tyler finds a spot at a table with a sleepy DJ, an energetic Geoff, and a chatty Lindsay; Bridgette was making her way over too, looking like the typical morning-hater cosplaying a morning-person.
Tyler sits and pretends not to try and sneak glances Noah’s way, eating and joining the conversation occasionally when he's able to actually grasp the topic the group bounced on.
It's hard though, when his eyes keep gravitating Noah’s way. He says, to himself, that he's just looking out the windows — the ones near Noah’s table because they're the only ones he can look out of comfortably.
(But his eyes trace the lines that make up Noah, the contented way his limbs fall, graceless but comfortable.
His eyes find Noah, each time, without fail.)
But it’s just out of worry, because Noah was up so late and Tyler’s just concerned.
The whole cast may not be tight-knit like that, but y’know, they've been through it with this show together so..
So..
(Noah's laugh is real nice, too. Hearing it brings the same quiet awe from last night.)
So, Tyler returns to the table he's actually sat at and tries to stay there.
#3
Tyler watches Noah for a moment before joining him, swinging his legs idly and ignoring Noah’s startled jump.
“Tyler. What the fuck?” He hisses, a socked foot shoving at Tyler’s thigh.
Tyler murmurs a soft “ow,” before replying. “What? Can't a guy join.. another guy for late night.. star-watching?”
Noah gives him a look, but it's way softer than the looks he's given Tyler during daytime, when he tries to strike up conversations with Noah.
Everything about Noah is softer at night.
Tyler looks away, cheeks prickling with heat and internally spiraling over the way Noah’s face softened.
Eyes drooping again, eyebrows relaxing, lips twitching in a way that speaks uncertainty — to smile or not to smile, that is the question.
“I mean, sure, but I don't think that was your original intention when you came down here.”
Here, being a seat on the windowsill with the curtains pushed to the sides, allowing for moonlight to shine through; a thin sheet of gentle light that unfortunately leaves Tyler in a daze, when he turns his head to look at Noah again.
Noah's alight with the grey-blue, gentle-slight, glow of the moon and Tyler is—
“Dude.”
Instinctively, Tyler repeats. “Dude.”
“What’re you doing?”
Tyler doesn't have an answer but he still opens his mouth and replies.
“Sitting. Here. With you. ‘Til you go to bed, I guess.”
Noah’s eyes widen, just a little, and his eyebrows knit together (again, and Tyler is helpless when he takes note of Noah’s forehead wrinkle) as his lips fall.
Just a little.
(Is it sane? To be so drawn to the way another guy’s lips fall apart so nicely—?)
“..Weird.”
Tyler’s heart, already pounding, nearly bursts to pieces; he's pretty sure his ribs are going to bruise, ow.
“..But okay.”
Tyler chances another glance and Noah is smiling, though maybe grinning is more accurate. One side higher than the other, eyebrows still furrowed but relaxing as the seconds tick by, and eyes..
“Okay.”
Tyler’s whisper is almost as soft as Noah’s eyeroll, the shadows just enough to turn his irises into little pools of black, but the light just strong enough to make them sparkle.
(Tyler won't admit it, not just yet, but the feeling in his chest is all too familiar.)
#4
“Woah, you alright there, dude?”
“Just peachy, Tyler.”
Noah’s hunched over slightly next to a desk in a secluded room—that Tyler’s pretty sure is an office of some sort—as he replies. He's quick to shove his shirt down, but Tyler already saw the white roll in Noah’s hand, the loose loops that fell looser as Noah covered up.
It doesn't really reassure Tyler.
“Well, I mean.. if you say so.”
Noah turns around, back facing the curtain-closed window now, his face illuminated by the stupid-bright lamp sitting on the desk. He looks expectant, if not irritated.
(And tired. But that seems to be a default for him, nowadays, all days.)
Like he's just waiting for Tyler to be nosy.
“..Need help?”
“No.”
Tyler nods, knowing Noah—at least at this point—well enough to know that pushing would be a death sentence.
“Alright.” Tyler scratches at his temple, just underneath his headband. “Uh.. Want me to go?”
Noah doesn't say anything, not for a minute; and that minute is long and very nerve-wracking for a certain athlete.
“Just.. give me a sec. I’ll be done soon.”
Wait for me.
Tyler waits, looking the other way to give Noah privacy. Noah doesn't usher him out, so he waits where he is.
..Though, before he can really think twice, Tyler's relaying the drama that erupted last night during a board game, one that Noah and a few others missed out on to sleep.
A soft snort, “Sounds like we made the right choice. The most headache-inducing bunch of people, I swear..”
“But it was still fun!”
Tyler grins wide, even though he knows Noah can't see him.
(Noah hooks his chin over his shoulder, eyes finding Tyler chattering away excitedly. Unbidden, his lips begin to curl upwards, a stupid-warm spark of fondness making his irritation simmer down.)
Eventually (almost 10 minutes), Noah is done and he taps Tyler on the shoulder, signaling he's all ready.
Tyler startles slightly but is quick to hop up and tug Noah back to civilization.
And, unexpectedly, Tyler’s hand finds Noah’s forearm and latches on.
Noah doesn't say anything, entertaining Tyler’s excited rush, and Tyler feels a tickle in his throat.
Oh.
Tyler clears his throat, nearly gagging and almost coughing as it tries to escape; it no doubt being a flower bud.
Well, doesn’t look like Tyler can deny it any longer.
Hopefully this passes quicker than normal.
#4.5
Noah’s laughing quietly as he shoves at Tyler’s shoulder.
It's bright and early, and neither of them know why the other is awake, just that they're both up and that it's way too early to be awake.
Seated at one of the smaller tables in the dining room, they talk idly about nothing and everything.
Their friends, their antics, the weird dream they had a few days ago they can't remember anything but brief glimpses about.
The sun gleams, shining through with its warmth.
Tyler’s upgraded from flower buds to petals, but he doesn't think much of it.
Sure, his crushes have mostly been brief affairs, they've occasionally gone past the initial week.
He assumes Noah’s part of that occasional few.
He spits out a handful of petals after excusing himself to the bathroom, trying not to think too hard on the unfurled petals that decorate the porcelain sink.
..Buuut he does. He can’t help it!
#5
Tyler seats himself beside Noah with a soft grunt.
The sand’s warm, but it's cooling pretty quick now that the sun’s gone.
The water barely reaches their feet, but Tyler doesn't mind; he's not here for the beach view or for dipping his toes.
He's here for the boy huddled in a towel next to him.
(Legs loosely pulled up to his chest, Noah’s crossed arms rest on his knees with his chin atop his forearms; the thin towel thrown over his shoulders and part of his head makes him look..
Maybe not comfy, but like Tyler could hug him and stay content for hours.
His hair, the part not hidden by the towel, puffs out in random directions — not too unlike cotton candy (or a bird's nest).
A soft sigh, “What d’you want, Tyler?”
“Nothing!” Tyler tilts his head down, scratching at his cheek, “Just– I saw you sitting out here and I thought, well, y’know..”
Noah huffs another sigh as he flips his head, which rests atop his knees with his legs pulled up loosely to his chest, to stare at Tyler.
“No, I do not know, actually.” Noah gives a soft snort, eyes creasing slightly as his lips curl into a teasing (or maybe a mocking) smile. “Not a mind reader, man.”
Tyler fiddles with his fingers for a minute before clearing his throat, loudly and awkwardly, and saying: “I– I, uh, thought you looked like— Well, like you could use some company! You know, of a friend?”
Noah’s eyes widen a fraction, surprise briefly painting his features before it falls back to its usual look of what one would call unimpressed boredom.
(But Tyler can see the way Noah’s shoulders bounce, the too-quick way he hides the bottom half of his face in his arms.)
“Did you just roundabout call me a loser? A friendless loser?”
Tyler lets out a squawk as he waves his arms about, shaking his head rapidly. “No! No, dude, of course not! You're totally putting words in my mouth, man!”
Noah’s resulting smile is..
Is..
(..Wow. Beautiful. Precious, like treasure.)
“..ler? Knock knock, hello? Anyone home?”
Tyler shakes his head and grins sheepishly at Noah, “Guess I could also use some company? Lots of, um, thoughts, y’know?”
Noah's exasperated face breaks to make way for quiet surprise and contemplation.
“..Yeah. Might as well drown together, right?”
Tyler thinks to himself, wanting to, for all the love in the world, say: I’d help you.
(It’s not like he was the only one to notice Noah’s confusion when it came to Alejandro, almost like he had never met the guy.
Though most didn't go past suspicious and probing jokes, they probably came to the same conclusion as Tyler but kept quiet; or, well, Tyler’s at least pretty sure he knows what happened.)
He has to look away and forcefully swallow the petals that had wanted to burst forth, and it leaves him nauseously dizzy.
But when he turns back to look at Noah, it's almost enough to ignore the nausea.
(It's beginning to become the longest Tyler’s had flowers growing in and around his lungs, beginning to become more than something to ignore.
Tyler's not sure what to make of it.)
“Hey Tyler?”
Noah’s voice is quiet, a mere whisper, as if he wanted the wind to sweep away his words. He stays staring up at the sky, however, kinda like he was talking to the moon.
“Yeah, dude?”
Tyler whispers back, turning his head to look at Noah. Laid down on their backs on two large towels—that they spent way too long trying to find—placed over the beach sand, there was nothing obscuring Tyler’s vision. He traces over Noah’s side profile, absentmindedly, carefully.
There's a thick silence, spanning over a few minutes, and then a weighted sigh. As if Noah can't believe he's doing this.
(Over the time spent waiting on the show to be over, Noah and Tyler have gotten closer — small nods in passing turning into actual conversations they take the time to have, hesitation in joining the other turning into seamless joint hips and shoulders.
That said, Tyler has fortunately—or unfortunately, it depends—joined the idiot brigade that surrounds Noah. Thus, he's heard that disbelieving sigh a lot.)
“..You ever had Hanahaki?”
Tyler's lips unconsciously curl and he laughs, probably a bit too loud for the quiet, peaceful atmosphere they had going.
Noah’s miffed grunt and weak one-handed shove hurries Tyler to explain himself.
(Even as petals begin to scratch and claw their way up.)
“No, no, I wasn't— I mean, I have, but I wasn't, uh, laughing at you. I just.. I’m just, like, an expert with this stuff!”
Tyler turns his head to look at Noah again, and is surprised to meet Noah’s eyes almost instantaneously.
Noah’s got a confused look on his face, maybe even a little concerned.
Tyler’s grin widens just a little bit more, and the rest of his face (and body) melts just a little more.
“I mean, they were usually brief. Not enough to, uh, get surgery for it, though..”
Noah makes a soft humming sound and his eyes slowly trek back up to stare at the night sky, head following at the same sedated pace.
“I did.”
Tyler isn't sure if it's appropriate to say: “I know.”
Noah’s head whips back to the side, and Tyler’s stomach drops through his ass.
He did not mean to say that.
Noah practically jumps to prop himself up on his elbow, facing Tyler with a mix of confusion, embarrassment, and frustration.
“You know? How?”
Tyler bites his lip and his eyes scramble side to side.
“Uh, what? Who— Who said that? I didn't—”
“Tyler.”
Tyler folds like wet napkins under Noah’s frown, “I just.. I mean, you and– and he who shall not be named—”
“You know who it is?”
Tyler pauses, heart beating almost loud enough to drown out his thoughts.
“You don't?”
Noah purses his lips, eyes sliding to the side before making their way back to Tyler’s, “I.. have my suspicions.”
“Do you— I mean, do you wanna know for sure..?”
“Alejandro.”
“Yeah.” Tyler watches Noah cautiously, though the other boy doesn't do much but frown and hum.
“I mean,” Noah sighs as he falls back down to his original position, “I figured since all anyone would ask me at first was stuff about Alejandro.” He clears his throat roughly and, maybe unconsciously, rubs at his chest slowly. “..And yet I wouldn't be able to answer shit since I knew jack shit.”
Tyler eyes Noah’s hand before shaking his head and looking back up at his face.
After a while of silence, Tyler speaks up again.
“Why do you ask?”
Noah shrugs lightly, sighing quietly. “I.. asked Eva and Izzy, but.. Well, Eva had it briefly, but she got rejected pretty early and it was over. Izzy never had it once, or if she has, she's keeping it under wraps.”
“Just wanted to relate to someone, huh?” Tyler grins, but it falters slightly as his eyes fall to Noah’s chest again. “Yeah.. I get it.”
Noah’s hand comes to a stop and he hums, “You ever seen a scar from it?”
Tyler's eyes stray again, and he fights to tear them away. He meets Noah’s eyes immediately, and by the look on his face, Noah had expected Tyler’s gaze to wander.
“Yeah,” Tyler clears his throat softly, still staring at Noah, “my– my, uh, sister. Actually. She had it, and it got.. really in– invay.. invisin—?”
“Invasive?”
“Yeah! That word.” Tyler grins at Noah briefly before shaking his head and looking straight up at the sky. “She hid it really well, and we didn’t catch it until she came back from hanging with her friend, coughing up whole flowers with stems. Like almost enough to make a whole ass bouquet. We rushed her to the hospital and— well, she had to get the surgery. She wasn’t really conscious, pain and.. all that, but she gave the go-ahead.”
Tyler glances over at Noah, and the other boy is staring up at the sky, a frown etched onto his face.
“The recovery bit was hard, especially when that friend she was hanging out with visited. Apparently she was introducing her boyfriend to my sister that day.” Tyler blows out a harsh breath, “It was hard, and she needed help with her bandages and scar care..”
Tyler couldn’t resist glancing over, smiling slightly when Noah turns his head to look at Tyler, an exasperated look on his face.
“This feels a little targeted.”
“Oh good, it was definitely supp—”
“I got it already, Tyler.” Noah grins faintly, “Just a joke.”
Tyler gives a quiet ‘oh’ before rolling onto his side to stare at Noah.
Noah rolls his eyes and turns onto his side to stare at Tyler back, raising an eyebrow.
“Was that your way of asking to help me?”
“My sister had a tough time.” Tyler shrugs.
“I’m not your sister.”
“You had a tough time.” Tyler shrugs again.
“Fuck off.” Noah purses his lips, looking away. “I’ve taken care of it just fine this long.”
“Yeah,” Tyler looks away too, gnawing on his lip, “I know, I know. I’m not saying that you can’t, no way dude, I know you can. I just, uh, you brought it up now and it just reminded me of the other day and I—”
Tyler jumps as a hand lands on his shoulder. Noah, still looking away, lets his hand lay there, a silent way of telling Tyler to calm down.
Breathe, Tyler, breathe. This is just Noah!
Noah, who’s been stuck in his mind (and lungs.. and heart) for way longer than any of Tyler’s other crushes.
Noah, who’s hurting and needs a helping hand (or just a hand to hold to get through).
“I just..” Woah, is it getting hot out here or is it just me? “..want to help you. That’s what friends are for, yeah?”
Noah’s eyes slide back to Tyler’s, pretty brown irises swallowed by the whites of his eyes. His lips part slightly and it takes all of Tyler’s strength not to stare directly at it.
“Yeah.”
And then Noah smiles. Crinkled eyes, lips stretched and just the barest hint of ivory teeth peeking through. His nose bridge scrunches a little, and fuck, fuck! Tyler is so head over heels, his head is through the ground.
“Yeah,” he says softly, maybe a hint of relief in his voice, maybe a hint of exasperation from humoring Tyler, “that’s true, I guess.”
Tyler stammers, head as empty as a blank sheet of paper, blurting out: “You guess?”
And then come the giggles. Like actual, honest-to-God, giggles.
Tyler’s head just might explode.
(Or maybe, and this is now frighteningly becoming an actual possibility, his lungs will get strangled first.)