Chapter Text
The clinic smelled absolutely shite. A icky mix of antiseptic and pure nerves.
Regulus sat hunched in the corner of the waiting room, the laminated floor sticky beneath his rugged black boots. His binder dug into his ribs a bit too tight today, but taking it off felt near impossible.
He’d used a slightly altered name at the front desk "Reggie Black"which felt both close enough to truth and far enough from discovery. As well as being as gender neutral as he could get.
A nurse soon called his name and he jolted upright like he’d been fucking electrocuted. The softness of her voice did little to ease his nerves though she was remarkably kind-looking, middle-aged with tired yet endlessly warm eyes.
“This way loves" she nodded to him.
The consultation room was far too bright, the lights harsh and fluorescent. Regulus sat on the edge of the exam table, arms crossed tightly and stiffly across his chest.
His coat was still damp from the miserable weather on his walk here, a walk which had been quite lengthy but Regulus was all for saving train or bus money. The cost was in the trickles from his coat dripping onto the floor.
“So… Reggie,” the nurse said gently, a strand of her brunette hair falling loose from her claw clip as her eyes ran up and down his chart. “You think you might be pregnant?”
Regulus nodded stiffly. "Yep. I'm feeling shite and I did one of those home test things". Regulus casted his gaze to the floor.
She probably thought he was stupid. Because he knew that the chart would show exactly how old he was how irresponsible he had been
To her credit her face didn't sully at Regulus's language, age or complete lack of excitement and Regulus couldn't help but imagine all the patients she's tended to before. Surely she must of had some experience in a case like his?
She didn’t ask questions about what he was or wasn’t. That would come later. For now, it was: "Do you want a hospital grade urine test? Are you safe? Are you okay?"
He wasn’t sure how to answer any of those.
But a pregnancy test at a clinic was faster and more reliable than the ones in shops, and there was no pretending here. No tearing open plastic in the quiet solitude of his bathroom in Grimuald, no pacing in the windowless dark with a flickering bulb buzzing annoyingly.
It took three minutes.
The first minute he sat still. Eyes cast down at the dirtied linoleum flooring, as if willing the time to pass
The second minute he pretty much did the same only his mind was not blank. A thousand possibilities swirled through his head and naively the thought that maybe the test at home and all his symptoms were wrong.
And the last minute he dared to let himself dream a little, to imagine a world where his family wasn't fucked up and he and James weren't just a stupid hookup. He imagined a family, a little baby and a real home.
But then he stopped.
His stupid imagination.
His family was fucked. He didn't love James Potter and James Potter certainly didn't love him. And the horrible fact that he was 15. He couldn't be a damn parent. Fuck he couldn't even take care of himself.
Then nurse came back with the result like she was holding something fragile.
Regulus's breathe caught.
This would define the rest of his life.
Change the way he goes about everything.
So he paused. Waited with bated breath. Staring diligently at the nurse, locking eyes with her name tag. Juilet.
“Alright sweetie I've just got to let you know you have lots of options but the test ...it’s positive,” she said softly.
Regulus stared at her, at the test, at the wall behind her head. She said something else, more about his so called options, support, timelines but it all blurred into a single ringing noise in his ears.
He was fifteen.
And pregnant.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
He remembered bits about his night with James.
He remembered a moment of rebellion, sneaking out to a party he'd heard about in school, sick of his parents and being perfect all the time.
He remembered getting drink after drink, bottles and cans tossed in the rubbish bin that was quickly becoming full.
And he remembered a bit about James.
That burgundy shirt. The gold jewellery. That tan skin pulled taut around perfectly crafted muscles.
He really couldn't be blamed.
It hadn’t been careful, sober or special. But it had felt safe at least.
James had made him feel safe.
The safety came in the way Potter held him tight between his warm tan arms, the way he carefully watched Regulus's face for signs of discomfort and in the way he constantly kept asking if things were okay.
For all accounts it hadn't been an awful first time.
Regulus only wished he could remember it more clearly.
He felt robbed.
He finally catches James Potters attention and then can't remember what exactly he did to earn such a thing.
Tragic really.
It was the only time it happened.
The first and last.
James had left by the end of the night without so much as a saying goodbye. Sirius had never noticed anything different.
But Regulus had and now it was coming back to bite him.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
“Do you have somewhere safe to stay?” the nurse asked gently, her hazel eyes locking on Regulus and falling slightly as though expecting a negative answer.
Technically she was right to assume such a thing but was irrelevant.
Juliet. That at least he remembered.
Regulus blinked, back in the present. His throat burned and his eyes wanted so desperately to water.
“I’m um...staying with a friend for now. It's not permanent." He spoke oh so quietly, sounding unsure and young.
The nurse didn’t judge. Just nodded slowly and handed him a stack of pamphlets with resources. He flicked through them quickly and saw titles about youth shelters, crisis numbers, trans-specific clinics even food banks.
“Whatever you decide, you're not alone and you've got time sweetie, Okay?.”
But he was, she didn't, couldn't, quite understand.
He was fifteen, and alone, and pregnant with the baby of James bloody Potter, his brother’s golden boy of a best friend.
And he couldn’t tell anyone.
Fuck. Shit. Balls.