Chapter Text
The Klokateer department heads, Manager and Assistant were subjected to the annual mandatory Sexual Harassment training in the comfort of the leather seats of the boardroom, rather than standing in the auditorium. As Facebones concluded and the lights were turned back on, Abigail did not look impressed.
"I would like to formally complain about this. It is grossly unfair." Abigail groused.
"But Your Ladyship, since we started showing this video, and fitting the shock collars, cases of Sexual Harassment have reduced by sixty-five percent." Chipped in the hooded head of the Legal department.
"Does it count as sexual harassment if someone submits a business case requesting, and I quote, 'I wanna cum all over your toes while you call me a good boy in that cute British accent'? Where do I stand with that?" Layla queried.
"Oh my God! What did you do?" Abigail cried, stunned.
"I scribbled all over it in red ink correcting the spelling and grammar, then sent it back with a post-it note saying 'good boys know what spell check and a semi-colon are; and would have used the most up-to-date pro-forma. You are not a good boy.' I haven't had another request." Layla replied, completely dead-pan.
"Would you like me to shoot somebody, Mi'lady?" Chipped in the head of security from the other end of the table.
"That's very kind of you to offer, but I handled the situation." Layla politely replied.
"You should have reported it to HR!" Someone else yelled.
"I couldn't -" Layla was cut off by Dr. Twinkletits.
"This is why we need to have training like this every year! People need to feel safe in the workplace and that they can approach the relevant people with their problems." The psychiatrist snapped.
"How did you handle the situation?"Abigail asked, curious.
"I turned up the voltage on the former head of HR's shock collar, I didn't wear the really pretty open-toe heels in his presence, and I said as little as possible to him. We had a perfectly sound working relationship... Then he just left."
"Oh, that would possibly explain the brain damage that caused him to retire." Mumbled the band's personal surgeon.
"So, Your Ladyship, what do you consider unfair about the Sexual Harassment training? I'll see what we can do for next year." The lawyer asked, flicking to a clean page of his yellow legal pad.
"Facebones just told everyone 'if you get a boner at work, go home'... I will never get a boner at work as I don't have the appropriate anatomy to do so. Why can the males get a cheeky afternoon off because of arousal, but I can't?" Abigail griped.
Around the table nobody had a response.
"Sooooo... Same time next year?" Piped up the head of facilities.