Chapter Text
The only thing Taehyung could smell when he woke up was Seokjin. In the few groggy moments between sleep and wakefulness, he thought he was in a dream. It was a good dream, not one of his many nightmares. In this dream, he’d spent the night cuddling against Seokjin’s chest, huddled deep within their blankets, stowed away in the room they shared.
The early summer sun coaxed Taehyung’s eyes open, and he found an unfamiliar ceiling above him. It wasn’t entirely unfamiliar, since he’d been staying in the room for a few weeks now, but unfamiliar enough that he hated it. The only familiar thing to him was the touch of his once-soft blanket against his bare skin, and the scent of his brother that lingered on the sheets.
Taehyung gasped, realizing the smell wasn’t a dream at all. The memories of the night before came rushing back, and he sat up, looking around frantically for his phone. It had fallen over, slightly covered by his pillow during the night, but it was still plugged in, still on, and he could see Seokjin sleeping away peacefully.
With a sigh of relief, Taehyung lay back again, admiring his brother’s sleeping figure. He was cute. More than cute. Mature. Handsome.
It had been too long since he’d seen Seokjin. Far too fucking long. Before Taehyung could tumble into his usual pit of despair, he pushed the thoughts away, buried them as deep as he could. It was easier if he didn’t think about it.
Taehyung’s phone buzzed, and a notification popped up on the screen. A text from Alex. She wanted to get some waffles. Taehyung was about to decline her invitation, but Seokjin shifted and hummed softly. Taehyung sat up again, hands gripping his phone as he watched Seokjin wake up.
After a small stretch, Seokjin peeked through partially open lids and smiled. “Morning,” he whispered, voice deep from sleep.
“Good morning,” Taehyung said, also speaking quietly so Jimin and Yoongi wouldn’t hear them from the room next door.
“Sleep well?”
“Yeah.” No nightmares, at least. It was the best Taehyung could hope for anymore. “You?”
“Yeah. Really good.” Seokjin’s smile was broken by a yawn. He dragged himself upright to lean back against the wall, holding his phone close. If Taehyung really stretched his imagination, he could pretend he was wrapped up in his arms.
There were a few moments of silence. Taehyung didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think. He was elated and terrified at the same time. Seokjin was going to leave him again. It probably wasn’t going to be right then, but Taehyung knew with every bit of certainty that Seokjin would leave him again. Maybe forever.
“Tae,” Seokjin said. There was a hesitation in his tone that sent Taehyung’s heart in a panicked frenzy.
“Alex texted me,” Taehyung blurted out, stopping Seokjin from saying whatever it was. “She wants to get breakfast.”
“Oh.” A look of discomfort passed over Seokjin’s face. “Are you guys…”
Taehyung held back a wince of shame at the reaction. “No,” Taehyung admitted. “I asked her to pretend to be my girlfriend.” He shouldn’t be ashamed. Afterall, he’d done that specifically to upset Seokjin. He’d wanted his brother to hurt after all he’d put Taehyung through.
But now that he could see Seokjin and how upset he was, Taehyung was ashamed and scared. If he hurt Seokjin again, he would only lose him faster. Taehyung had to do everything in his ability to keep Seokjin for as long as possible.
“You should probably go to breakfast with her.”
“Why?” Taehyung said, unable to stop the waver in his voice. Seokjin was going to send him away, tell him they couldn’t do it again. It was too soon. Taehyung wouldn’t be able to handle it this time.
“You should keep pretending,” Seokjin said. He didn’t look pleased with his own suggestion, but he pressed on. “It’ll help hide us.”
Us.
Taehyung clenched his teeth, fighting off tears. Were they ‘us’ again? For now, at least. He nodded, taking in a slow breath. “Hang on,” he said, and switched to his texts to send a reply to Alex.
When he switched back to the video call, he was hit by another wave of disbelief that he was looking at his brother. It had to be a dream. But Seokjin smiled at him, and Taehyung couldn’t help smiling back.
“I love you,” Seokjin said.
“Love you, too,” Taehyung said, pretending that Seokjin wasn’t lying.
Alex’s car was a bit run down. The first time she’d been over to pick him up, she commented on how grateful she was that Yoongi’s car was worse than hers, or she would feel uncomfortable in such a nice neighborhood.
“We should probably find a new place to go,” Alex said as they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant they frequented. She said that almost every time they went out.
“Why?” Taehyung said. “You’ll just order the same food, anyway.”
Alex grinned and parked the car. “You know me too well.”
“We are ‘dating.’ Feels like something I should know.”
Alex rolled her eyes.
It smelled nice inside, as always, but today Taehyung couldn’t enjoy it. Everything that he encountered was just another thing to push away the memory of Seokjin’s smell. Once, he’d known it so well that Taehyung could whip it up in his brain in an instant, bringing him an artificial calm. He’d lost that ability two years ago.
Booth number five. The biggest booth. Seemed like overkill, but it was Alex’s favorite booth, and she was a creature of habit. The waiter greeted her by name and jotted down her order before she had a chance to reel it off. No need to look at the menu.
“Dunno how you can do that,” Alex said as Taehyung pointed to a random item on the menu without looking at the details. “What if you don’t like it? That’s just a waste of money!”
Taehyung shrugged, handing the menu back to the waiter. “I’ll probably like it.”
Alex wrinkled her nose. “You seem awfully sure of yourself.”
Another shrug. Even if Taehyung didn’t like it, he would eat it anyway. Years of living on the verge of starvation did that to a person, he supposed. It had taken his grandma almost a year to break him of his habit of only eating exactly what he needed and nothing more, stowing the rest away just in case. Even if he explained it all to Alex, she probably still wouldn’t understand.
“You okay?” Alex said. “You look a thousand miles away.”
Taehyung forced himself to perk up, and he smiled. “Sorry. Uh – got in a fight with my brother last night.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.
Alex gave him a sympathetic pout. “Damn. But hey, at least he said something to you, right?”
Taehyung laughed and shook his head. “Guess I got that going for me, don’t I?”
The early arrival of Alex’s morning milkshake distracted her, and she started chatting about the upcoming school year. She was going to be a senior in high school, and she was concerned about being mistaken for a lower classman.
Truthfully, Taehyung really liked Alex. She was relaxed and shameless, upfront about her feelings. She was more genuine than any of the snobs he’d been ‘friends’ with at the Christian school he’d been forced to attend.
Taehyung tried to keep focused on her, and he managed to give her some noises that signaled he was still listening, but really all he could think about was Seokjin. Every minute away from him was dangerous. Right now, Seokjin could be at home, stewing in doubt and regret at his actions. If Taehyung was there, he could keep his mind off it, remind Seokjin that they really were meant to be together.
Anxiety itched in Taehyung’s fingers. He hated that feeling. It crawled past his wrists, up his arms. It was like pent up energy, begging to be released, urging Taehyung to slam his fists down on the table, hit it again and again until his hands were bruised and bloody.
He resisted it. He forced well-rehearsed smiles and ate his breakfast like a normal person, a façade he’d built over the years, a façade that had disintegrated when Seokjin left him, only to be glued back together as an imperfect shadow of the person he’d been before.
It was harder this time, though. Seokjin was at home, contemplating, second-guessing everything, and Taehyung couldn’t stand it. When he and Alex finished their meal, he politely declined a trip to the park where they would usually hang out for a few hours, just chatting and playing games together on their phones.
Alex pouted and begged with a few whines, but Taehyung just laughed and refused again until she gave up and drove him back home. When they got there, he noted that Yoongi’s car was gone. Good. That would make it easier to talk to Seokjin.
The house was quiet, too. Taehyung checked around and confirmed that Hoseok wasn’t still practically dead at the table like Taehyung had seen earlier. He’d looked like he had a long night, so Taehyung hadn’t bothered him before leaving with Alex.
From: Taehyung
hey
you still home?
From: Seokjin
yeah
in my room
From: Taehyung
are the others around?
From: Seokjin
Jimin and Yoongi left earlier
Hoseok is passed out
From: Taehyung
so…can I come up?
Taehyung stared at the screen, chewing on the inside of his cheek, holding his breath until he received the reply.
From: Seokjin
of course
Taehyung sighed in relief. It hadn’t taken Seokjin any longer to respond than any of the other texts, but it had felt like a hundred years. He’d been ready for Seokjin to deny his request, tell Taehyung that they couldn’t do it.
Shove the thoughts away. Taehyung couldn’t think about it right now. He went up the stairs, wincing as his feet hit the steps that creaked gently beneath his weight. Soon he’d have them memorized.
Seokjin was sitting upright in his bed when Taehyung entered his room. He set his laptop aside, and Taehyung took the opportunity to pounce onto the bed with him, latch onto his side, and squeeze his eyes shut as he took in his smell again.
“Have fun?” Seokjin said. He closed his laptop, turning all his attention to Taehyung. Perfect. That’s how it was supposed to be.
“Yeah,” Taehyung said. “Missed you, though.”
“I missed you, too.” Seokjin scooted down until he could fully cuddle with Taehyung.
With his eyes closed, a wave of nostalgia washed over Taehyung. It was just like before, back when he was a kid. Seokjin would always hold him, make him feel like everything was going to be okay. They were going to be together forever, and Seokjin was never going to leave him.
A soft fuzz wiggled its way into the edges of Taehyung’s mind. There was a deep comfort in it, something Taehyung had felt a thousand times before, even if he couldn’t quite figure out what it was.
“Tae,” Seokjin said.
There was that hesitation again. It snapped Taehyung back to reality, and he clung even tighter to Seokjin. He didn’t want to hear whatever Seokjin had to say. “We had waffles,” Taehyung said. “Well, Alex had waffles. I had chicken fried steak. Alex always gets a milkshake, too. No matter what time of day, she gets a milkshake.”
A moment of silence, then Seokjin kissed Taehyung’s forehead. “She’ll give herself diabetes if she’s not careful.”
“Yeah, but what a life to live, right?”
Seokjin took a deep breath, not fully redirected. Before he could speak, Taehyung kissed him.
“Tae,” Seokjin said, breaking away. “We need to be careful.”
Taehyung gave a chuckle he hoped sounded less terrified than he felt. “Duh.”
“I mean it,” Seokjin said, more firmly. “It won’t be easy for us to hide here.”
Us. Seokjin kept using that word. If Taehyung wasn’t careful, he might start believing him.
“So, what do we do?” Taehyung said.
“You keep hanging out with Alex,” Seokjin said, “and you and I pretend like we’re slowly starting to get along.”
Taehyung liked the plan except for the part where he couldn’t spend every waking moment in Seokjin’s direct line of sight. How could he tell Seokjin that? How could he put into words his overwhelming fear of Seokjin’s imminent betrayal?
Instead, Taehyung just nodded. “Okay,” he said. If he behaved, maybe that would keep Seokjin with him just a little bit longer. He had to keep Seokjin distracted. Had to keep him happy. Taehyung’s survival depended on it.
Taehyung pulled Seokjin into a kiss. He needed to remind Seokjin what he’d been missing.
“Tae,” Seokjin whispered, but he didn’t push Taehyung away. “We can’t…”
“Why not?”
“Someone might hear us.”
“We’ll just say you were watching porn,” Taehyung said, and Seokjin rolled his eyes.
Before Seokjin could reply, Taehyung slid his hand down into Seokjin’s pants. He loved pushing Seokjin over that line of decency. He was always so concerned with what was right and what was wrong, but there was always a point that Taehyung knew he couldn’t resist. He could practically see all thoughts melting away from Seokjin as Taehyung touched him. It made Taehyung feel strong, powerful, because he knew in these few minutes when his brother’s attention was completely on him, Taehyung was safe.
As promised, the two were silent through their pleasure. They kept it simple, just stroking each other to completion, their lips locked together to muffle their heavy breathing.
After the ecstasy of release dimmed into nothing, it was replaced by a fear that Taehyung had felt a thousand times before, only this time it was so much worse. As they cleaned up, Taehyung kept a close eye on Seokjin, waiting for signs of regret or shame. Every time Seokjin so much as looked in the same direction of the door, Taehyung tensed up, ready to pounce onto Seokjin if he even thought about leaving him alone again.
He didn’t leave, though. He smiled at Taehyung, tossed the soiled towel he’d used into the laundry basket, and curled up with Taehyung on the bed again. Everything was silent again, and Taehyung closed his eyes to focus on Seokjin’s deep breathing.
“You’re so beautiful,” Seokjin whispered, pressing gentle kisses against Taehyung’s head. “I love you.”
“Love you, too,” Taehyung murmured. He rolled over so Seokjin was spooning him from behind, such a familiar position from years ago. It helped the fuzz come back, letting him slip into that strange comfort.
They lay like that for a while. The passage of time didn’t mean much when Taehyung was in Seokjin’s arms. Taehyung stayed there, his whole mind in the fuzz.
Seokjin said his name once, tried to get his attention, but Taehyung didn’t want to leave the fuzz. Without thinking, he grabbed Seokjin’s hand and popped his thumb into his mouth, letting himself fully settle down.
There were three Seokjins. Not literally, of course, but there were three versions that Taehyung had familiarized himself with during their many years of solitude.
The first Seokjin was Taehyung’s brother. He was the person who laughed and played with him, who rolled his eyes and called him a brat. Instead of Taehyung’s full name, he just called him ‘Tae.’ Short, sweet, casual. And he would fuck Taehyung, make him feel so good. It was the first Seokjin Taehyung had ever known.
The second Seokjin was Taehyung’s mother. He cared for and coddled Taehyung whenever he needed it. He spoke softly and held Taehyung in his arms, made him feel tiny and protected. Sometimes, this Seokjin would let Taehyung suck his thumb, like right now. Instead of ‘Tae,’ he would say ‘Tae-honey.’ On rare occasions, Taehyung was able to coax Seokjin into sex when he was in ‘mother mode.’ It was always a treat with how attentive he was, giving Taehyung every ounce of his attention.
The third Seokjin was Taehyung’s father. He was stern and strong, unswaying in his efforts to keep Taehyung on the right track. His voice would drop into a deeper tone as he told Taehyung to do his homework or clean up his messes. He kept Taehyung in line, made sure he knew to treat people with respect. So far, Taehyung hadn’t managed to get Seokjin to fuck him like that. He was always too serious in the moment, but Taehyung had often shamefully fantasized how hard he’d fuck Taehyung, holding him down, making sure Taehyung knew who was in charge.
Unfortunately, ‘daddy mode’ had a big downside. No matter how much Taehyung acted out, no matter how bratty he was around brother-Seokjin, the moment daddy-Seokjin made his appearance, Taehyung couldn’t bring himself to disobey. It was easy to tell when Seokjin made the switch, because instead of calling him ‘Tae’ or ‘Tae-honey,’ he would say –
“Taehyung.”
Taehyung grimaced at the tone. He tried to hold Seokjin’s thumb tight in his mouth, but Seokjin pulled it away.
“Look at me,” Seokjin said, and Taehyung obeyed, sitting up so he could look at him directly. There was a look in his eyes, a nervousness that wasn’t common with this side of Seokjin. It terrified Taehyung, but he couldn’t look away.
Seokjin took a deep breath and nodded, like he was steeling himself for something. “I – I’m sorry,” he said, his voice wavering.
Taehyung’s fingers tightened around the comforter, his whole body beginning to shake. It couldn’t be over already. He wasn’t ready to be alone again.
“There’s so many reasons to say sorry,” Seokjin said, “and I don’t know if – “
“I forgive you,” Taehyung blurted out.
Seokjin paused, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You…”
“Forgive you.”
“But – “
“That’s what you want, right?” Taehyung said. “You did some shitty things, so you apologize, and I forgive you.”
Seokjin opened his mouth, then closed it, clearly conflicted by Taehyung’s response.
“So, I forgive you,” Taehyung said. “And that’s that.” It was a lie, of course. Taehyung didn’t know if he’d ever have the ability to forgive Seokjin for what he’d done.
But if Taehyung let him apologize, truly apologize for everything, there were only two ways it could end. Either he was lying, and Taehyung would be able to tell right away. Or worse, he was telling the truth, and his inevitable betrayal would hurt that much more.
Best if Seokjin said nothing at all.
“Can we get back to cuddling?” Taehyung prompted, motioning to the pillows.
Seokjin hesitated again, and Taehyung was afraid he’d push the subject. Thankfully, though, he just smiled and gave Taehyung a kiss. “I love you. Forever.”
Taehyung wished it were true.
When Taehyung had been making his plans to move out, one of the things he was looking forward to the most was sleeping in. His grandmother was a morning person to a fault, never letting him sleep past eight am even on the weekends. Taehyung had fantasies of waking up at one in the afternoon, then lounging about in his pajamas for the rest of the day if he didn’t have any plans.
Unfortunately, it took longer than just a few weeks to break a habit that had been forced upon him for two and a half years. The upside was that he got first pick from the cold pizza in the fridge.
As Taehyung was munching away, his phone started ringing. He groaned at the catchy tune but didn’t hesitate to answer. “Hey Grandma.”
“Taehyung!” The woman’s voice was frail, always on the verge of a waver, but it always carried so much emotion. “You haven’t called in a while.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Taehyung said. “Been a bit busy.” He and Seokjin had been reunited for over a week at this point. Between slipping out of each other’s bedrooms when they were absolutely sure no one was paying attention and maintaining his friendship with Alex, Taehyung was quite weary. It was worth it, though.
“You’re not still in bed, are you?”
Taehyung snorted. “No, Grandma,” he said with exasperation. “Got up a while ago. I’m eating breakfast.”
“It’s healthy, I hope.”
“Uh-huh,” Taehyung said, taking a massive bite from the pizza. “Super healthy.”
“And everything else?” she said, her lighthearted tone switching to concern. “You’re still doing okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” Taehyung assured her.
“Remember what I said. If something happens, just call. I’ll come get you.”
“You don’t need to get me,” Taehyung said. “I told you, there’s nothing wrong with Seokjin. He’s taking care of me.”
He’d never found out exactly what his dad had told her when he’d pawned Taehyung off. Surely not the truth, or she would have sent the cops after Seokjin. Of course, whatever her suspicions were, Taehyung’s meltdown after Seokjin broke up with him had only made it worse. Back when he’d first moved in, Taehyung had imagined how great it would be for Seokjin to visit, to see all the pictures she had of Seokjin as a baby, but he knew now that the chance for reconciliation was slim to none.
“Okay, but if that changes, I’m here.”
“I get it,” Taehyung said. “Oh yeah, didn’t you say you can send me the rest of my clothes?”
“Are you sure you want them? We can keep some of them here.”
Taehyung laughed. “How about this, keep some stuff there, that way I don’t have to pack much if I want to come visit you.”
His grandmother gave an exaggerated gasp. “You mean you still want to come see this old crow? Surely I thought you’d be happy to be rid of me the moment you got out.”
“No, no, no,” Taehyung said with a smile. Their relationship had been rocky at first, but she’d gotten Taehyung through the darkest moment of his life. It was impossible to hate someone like that.
There were some footsteps down the stairs, and Taehyung glanced over. Jimin was trundling down, and he smiled when he saw Taehyung.
“Grandma, I gotta go,” Taehyung said. “My friends are waking up.”
“Okay, TaeTae,” she said. “Keep in touch now, y’hear?”
“Yes, yes, I promise,” Taehyung said. “I love you. Bye.”
Jimin sat at the table with him with his own slice of pizza, but he hadn’t bothered with a plate. “It’s cool you still chat with her,” Jimin said.
“Yeah, I actually like her a lot,” Taehyung said, setting his phone down. “Aside from the forcing me to go to a Christian school and all.” He wrinkled his nose.
“Yeah, don’t envy you at all for that,” Jimin said, shaking his head. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Jimin still hadn’t fully recovered since Taehyung had blown up at Seokjin, still just a bit antsy around him. It hurt, but Taehyung understood.
“I wonder if Seokjin will eat pizza, too,” Jimin said, finally breaking the silence, “or if he’ll make breakfast. What do you think?”
Taehyung shrugged, purposefully ignoring the way Jimin’s eyes focused in on him when he said Seokjin’s name. He’d brought him up a few times in the past two weeks, just casual ‘how are things’ and ‘have you guys made up yet?’
Seokjin’s plan was working smoothly so far. None of their roommates suspected anything, though Taehyung would be surprised if Jimin and Yoongi were aware of literally anything that wasn’t each other. Ever since their date night, they’d been thoroughly distracted with each other and their shockingly high libidos.
But last night, Seokjin made a point of waiting until everyone was downstairs to ask Taehyung what he wanted on his pizza. The looks of surprise that jumped from Yoongi to Jimin to Hoseok was almost enough to make Taehyung laugh, but he kept a cool disposition, making it seem like he was only answering to be polite.
By the end of the week, they’d have normal conversations and start watching movies together. From there, they would be able to spend as much time together as they wanted without drawing any suspicion.
And all it took was for Taehyung to toe the line of an anxiety attack every time he left Seokjin alone for more than an hour. No problem.
Yoongi and Hoseok came down soon after that. Yoongi gave Jimin a kiss before making his regular coffee.
“Pizza for breakfast?” Hoseok said with a teasing tone, but he grabbed a slice for himself as well.
“What’s good for the soul is good for the body,” Jimin said.
“More like, ‘you are what you eat,’” Hoseok said.
“Hey, hey, Jimin,” Yoongi called from the kitchen. He had a mischievous grin on his face.
Jimin sighed. “What, Yoongi?”
“Maybe that’s why you’re such a dick.”
“And why you’re an asshole,” Jimin said without missing a beat.
Hoseok and Taehyung choked back laughter as Yoongi blushed, quickly busying himself with his coffee again.
“Damn, that was the fastest clapback I’ve seen,” Hoseok said.
“Yoongi is boring and predictable,” Jimin said with a shrug, but he gave Yoongi a playful wink.
“Do you guys have work today?” Taehyung asked. Jimin and Hoseok raised their hands reluctantly. “Yoongi?”
Yoongi shook his head. “I’ve got some errands to run, but I’ll be back soon.”
Damn. Yesterday, all three of them were out of the house before nine am. That had given Taehyung the perfect opportunity to sneak into Seokjin’s room to give him a nice wakeup call in the form of a blow job. He hoped it had revived a lot of good memories from when they were younger. The first time Taehyung had ever gone down on him, Seokjin had been asleep.
Actually, a lot of their firsts had happened while Seokjin was asleep. He was a surprisingly deep sleeper. He’d slept through kisses, even the ones that lasted much longer than Taehyung had intended. He’d been sleeping when Taehyung’s curious hands wandered over his body. It was wrong, and the shame had fucked with Taehyung’s brain to the brink of self-destruction. He didn’t like thinking about himself from back then.
“I’ll see you later,” Yoongi said, drawing Taehyung out of his thoughts. He gave Jimin a kiss, then waved at Taehyung before heading out.
Jimin sighed with a small smile. “I love that man.”
“Trust me, we know,” Hoseok said with a pointed look.
Jimin blushed and jumped up from his seat. “My my, look at the time. I have to go get ready.”
Hoseok shook his head as Jimin rushed off and looked at Taehyung. “I do not envy you living in the room next to them.”
Taehyung shrugged. “I just watch porn. Drowns them out. Besides, I didn’t know someone could give compliments so aggressively. Yoongi has a talent.”
“Gross,” Hoseok said, with a snort.
Taehyung’s phone buzzed from a text. He made sure Hoseok couldn’t see the screen when he picked it up.
From: Seokjin
will we get to see each other today?
Taehyung couldn’t help but smile. He liked knowing that Seokjin was looking forward to spending time with him.
“You texting Alex?”
Taehyung looked up at Hoseok’s question. “Oh, uh, yeah.”
“She seems nice.”
“She is,” Taehyung said as he responded to Seokjin.
From: Taehyung
only if jimin and Hoseok leave before yoongi gets back
but even then it’ll just be fore a little bit
yoongi is running errands
From: Seokjin
:(
From: Taehyung
Don’t worry
I’ll give you a million kisses
From: Seokjin
:)
I love you
From: Taehyung
I love you too
“I’m glad you found someone to spend time with,” Hoseok said. “I know things have been rough with your brother. Must be nice having a friend who isn’t exactly connected to everyone else.”
That had definitely been true a few weeks ago, but now all Taehyung wanted to do was spend time with Seokjin. “Yeah,” Taehyung said. “It’s been nice.”
“You should invite her over sometime.”
Taehyung balked at the suggestion. “I – I don’t know.” He didn’t want to upset Seokjin.
“I mean, you guys are dating right?”
Taehyung gave a tiny nod.
“So, invite her over.” Hoseok smiled warmly. “This is your house now, too. You have the right to have some guests over. Just warn me before you start throwing parties.”
Taehyung laughed and shook his head. “I’m not exactly the partying type.” He glanced at his phone, chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“Thank god for that,” Hoseok said. He wiped his hands off on a napkin and stood to clean off his plate. “I’m heading out now, but yeah, go ahead and invite Alex over. I’m sure she’d like that.”
“Thanks,” Taehyung said as he was left alone once again. Jimin was still home, and Taehyung didn’t know when he was going to leave. Yoongi could be home at any moment.
From: Taehyung
can you come down?
yoongi and Hoseok are gone
jimin’s in his room
we might have a few minutes
There was no reply before the door to his brother’s room opened upstairs. Taehyung smiled and scurried over to the formal dining room. It was hidden from the view of the stairs, so they wouldn’t be caught by Jimin if he left his room in a hurry.
Seokjin’s footsteps were light, barely making noise as he made his way down, but they were fast. He trotted around the corner, face breaking into a huge smile when he saw Taehyung.
It was enough to melt anyone’s heart, and Taehyung still had a soft spot for Seokjin the size of Jupiter. He grinned as Seokjin drew him into a tight hug.
“Just a few minutes,” Taehyung said, and he kissed Seokjin. “It’s not fair.”
“I know,” Seokjin said, cupping Taehyung’s face in his hands. “Soon, though. Just a little bit longer.”
“I don’t like pretending to hate you,” Taehyung said. He’d spent too much time hating Seokjin over the past few years. He wanted to be done with it, push it all away. He wanted to go back to the way things were before. No apologies. No reconciliation. Just normal.
“You’re doing great,” Seokjin said, giving Taehyung another kiss.
Just standing there, quietly wrapped in each other’s embrace, Taehyung’s anxiety started to peter out. They’d spent another night away from each other, and here Seokjin was, once again showering him with love. Maybe one day he wouldn’t panic every time they were apart, but Taehyung couldn’t see that happening anytime soon.
“Do you have plans for the day?” Seokjin said.
Taehyung shook his head. “Hoseok said I should invite Alex over.”
“That might be good,” Seokjin said, and laughed when Taehyung pouted at him. “What? Why the long face?”
“I want to spend time with you!”
“We’ll get a chance tonight, right?” Seokjin said.
Right. Jimin and Yoongi were always preoccupied with each other at night. Gave a good opportunity for Seokjin to sneak into Taehyung’s room and chat while they knew Hoseok would be desperately trying not to overhear their friends’ enthusiastic rounds of sex.
“Yeah, but, can’t you at least pretend to be jealous that I’m going to be hanging out with my girlfriend?”
Seokjin laughed, bumping his forehead against Taehyung’s. “I’m pretty sure I don’t have anything to be jealous about at this point.”
“Oh yeah?” Taehyung said with a playful tilt of his head. “And what makes you say that?”
“Because,” Seokjin said, his arms looped around Taehyung’s waist, “you’re mine now.”
Yes, he was Seokjin’s. But what were they? Where they boyfriends again? Fiancés?
“I love you, Tae,” Seokjin said. His voice was soft, earnest.
Taehyung could hear the beginnings of another apology, so he gave Seokjin a quick kiss. “I love you, too. I’ll have Alex over later, okay? That way everyone will hopefully get a chance to see her.”
Seokjin smiled and gave a short nod. “Sounds good.” He gave Taehyung a final, lingering kiss before heading back upstairs.
Taehyung groaned and leaned back against the wall, taking a few deep breaths to prepare himself for the inevitable anxiety that would build up throughout the day.
Alex looked adorable. Taehyung couldn’t deny that. She showed up at the house, eyes huge with excitement since it was her first time being invited over since the awful dinner night. Her wispy blonde hair was pulled up into two little space buns with camo-printed scrunchies keeping them up, which matched her camo-printed cargo pants.
“Lookit all this!” Alex squealed, throwing herself into the ground in front of the small library of video games. “I saw them last time and like, I didn’t want to be rude, but – “ She grabbed a game and showed it to Taehyung. “I have been dying to play this.”
Taehyung laughed and sat on the couch. “Go ahead, pop it in.”
“You sure? The campaign is single player.”
“Yeah, do it,” Taehyung said, waving his hand. “I’ll watch. Seeing you fail should be pretty amusing.”
Alex just rolled her eyes. It was her favorite expression. “I know the reviews were pretty mixed,” she said as she turned on the system, “but honestly this is right in line with all the games I grew up with.”
“So you’re just sticking with the same old stuff as before,” Taehyung said pointedly.
Alex just rolled her eyes again.
It was clear Alex had grown up with video games. She started the game on the hardest difficulty and barely struggled in the first few levels. “The most annoying part,” she said, “is that even though I’m so good against the computer, it’s really hard to play online.”
“Really?” Taehyung said, watching with awe as she sniped someone from across the map. “You’re joking.”
“Nope. It takes a lot of teamwork, which is difficult when you can’t use a mic.”
“Why can’t you use a mic?”
Alex motioned down at herself. “I’m a girl,” she said when it was clear Taehyung didn’t understand. “I’d rather play the campaign over and over than have some neckbeard crying about how there’s no way I got to my level without someone boosting me.”
Taehyung wrinkled his nose. “How about this,” he said, “let’s raid the fridge for some snacks, then we’ll play the multiplayer and you can kick my ass.”
Alex grinned and hopped up, making a bee-line to the fridge.
“Oh, oh, oh,” Taehyung said before she grabbed something out of it. “This part only. It’s my part. Well, it’s technically Seokjin’s, but he shared it with me when I moved in.”
“Oh, have you made up now?” Alex asked with surprise. “You didn’t tell me.”
Taehyung chuckled, scratching his head. “I mean, not totally? But mostly. Besides, he let me use it when we were fighting, too.”
“Aww, that’s nice,” Alex said, grabbing a soda.
“Yeah, he – uh – he always takes care of me,” Taehyung said softly. “Even when we’re fighting.” He didn’t think he’d ever forget the amount of tears he’d shed when he opened the package that held his chessboard. Taehyung had wanted to hate it. How dare Seokjin send him such a thoughtful and amazing gift while Taehyung was still ignoring him. But he couldn’t bring himself to hate the work of art.
“Well, I’m glad to hear you guys are getting along more now.” Alex playfully narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re not going to start ditching me for him, though, right?”
Taehyung laughed and shook his head. “No, no, of course not.” He motioned back to the living room. “Come on, I’m looking forward to you beating my ass.”
And beat his ass she did. At first, he thought he was doing pretty well, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw her smiling. He dared her not to hold back, and he barely lasted a minute in every subsequent match. Clearly feeling bad for him, Alex suggested they moved to a game that was a bit friendlier to less experienced players.
As Taehyung had planned, Jimin came home from work while they were playing. They’d been yelling, getting more physically involved in the game as they progressed through each level. She was more competitive than when Yoongi and Hoseok played together.
“Hi!” Alex said, bouncing in her seat as Jimin came into the room. “Hi, Jimin!”
An odd look of confusion passed over Jimin’s face as he looked between the two.
Taehyung waved him over. “Come on. This game is better with more players.”
Jimin’s confusion seemed to grow deeper. “What are you guys doing?”
“Um, playing games?” Taehyung said.
“Why are you blushing?”
Oh. Taehyung looked at Alex whose face was a bit flushed from the excitement over the game. A true blush blossomed on her face at Jimin’s question.
“Oh, um – “ Alex stammered. She looked at Taehyung like she was prompting him to speak up. “We – we were – “
“We most definitely were not kissing,” Taehyung exclaimed loudly. Alex let out a small shriek of embarrassment and covered her face with her hands, making Taehyung laugh. The opportunity was too good to pass up. Besides, it helped the image.
Jimin also blushed and took a step backward. “Oh, well – I guess I’ll just leave you to that,” he said with a laugh, and turned to go.
As Jimin disappeared up the stairs, Alex slapped Taehyung’s arm. “Oh my god,” she whispered shrilly. “Why’d you have to do that?”
“What?” Taehyung said, feigning innocence. “We’re supposed to be dating, aren’t we?”
“Well – yeah,” Alex spluttered, “but a little warning would have been nice.” She pinched his shoulder.
“Nah,” Taehyung said with a grin and poked her stomach. “Your response wouldn’t have been so authentic.”
Alex giggled, slapping his hand away. “Is this payback for destroying you in the game?”
“Maybe just a little.”
Alex rolled her eyes.
Later that night, Taehyung lay in bed, staring at his ceiling. It was more familiar to him now, made better from all the evenings he’d managed to stare at it with Seokjin at his side.
Overall, the day had been a success. Jimin saw him and Alex together. He knows Yoongi heard them together, due to an offhanded comment about some rowdy roommates. Hoseok couldn’t let that slide, reminding Yoongi that he could now identify which position he and Jimin decided to fuck in based on their noises. Taehyung thought Yoongi was going to pass out with how violently he blushed.
But it was a good day.
Made better, of course, by the first sounds of pleasure coming from Jimin and Yoongi’s room.
From: Taehyung
okay
From: Seokjin
wow, already?
From: Taehyung
duh
they’re like bunnies
From: Seokjin
probably a good thing they can’t get pregnant
From: Taehyung
they’d probably make some cute babies tho
From: Seokjin
haha
okay I’ll be over in a sec
Taehyung grinned, heart thumping excitedly. Jimin and Yoongi’s endless libido was like clockwork, almost comically reliable. No matter how quiet Jimin tried to be, Taehyung and Seokjin knew that they could chat without anyone overhearing them.
The door to Taehyung’s room cracked open, and Seokjin slipped inside. He had a giddy smile on his face as he jumped onto the tall bed to tackle Taehyung, showering kisses all over his cheeks.
Taehyung giggled and accepted the attention. “Miss me?”
“So much.” Seokjin cupped his hand behind Taehyung’s neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss that left Taehyung dizzy. “Every fucking minute.”
Taehyung laughed again. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you swearing like this.”
“It’s not like I swear like this all the time,” Seokjin said. “Only when I need to make a point.”
“Oh yeah?” Taehyung said, squirming around beneath Seokjin’s body. “And what’s your point?”
“That I am desperately in love with you,” Seokjin said. “That I can’t stand it when we’re apart.”
Taehyung hummed happily. “Tell me more.”
“That in just a few days, we’ll be able to hang out all the time, and I’ll never, ever, ever leave you alone.”
“Is that a promise or a threat?” Taehyung said and bit back a laugh when Seokjin poked him in the stomach.
“Y-Yoongi – “
Taehyung and Seokjin burst into soft giggles at the muffled sound of Jimin’s moan. It had been a bit embarrassing the first time they hid beneath the mask of their activities, but they’d come to be used to it. At this point, it was basically ambiance.
Seokjin settled down into the bed next to Taehyung, curling up against him. His gaze remained fixed on Taehyung, an adoration that almost scared him. It had only been a few weeks since they got back together. He wasn’t ready to believe Seokjin.
But every smile.
Every kiss.
Every time Seokjin said ‘I love you.’
They were starting to get to Taehyung’s head.
He wasn’t ready to believe Seokjin.
Taehyung pulled Seokjin into another kiss, savoring his taste. He squirmed, wiggled, pushed and tugged until Seokjin was on him again, legs straddling Taehyung’s thighs. After a few more urging tugs, Seokjin rolled his hips down, grinding against Taehyung’s body.
“Fuck me,” Taehyung said breathlessly, fingers pulling at Seokjin’s shirt.
“They might – “
“Oh fuck!”
Seokjin held in a snort at Jimin’s sudden exclamation.
“You think they’ll hear us over that?” Taehyung said with a raised eyebrow. He placed a few slow kisses along Seokjin’s jaw up to his ear, loving how Seokjin’s body leaned into the touch, goosebumps spreading across his skin. Taehyung gave his ear a little nibble before murmuring, “Fuck me, big brother.”
“Jesus,” Seokjin huffed out a laugh, but he yanked Taehyung into a fierce kiss.
Taehyung laughed, relaxing back as Seokjin sat up. “You didn’t think I’d forget how much that turns you on, did you?”
“It’s embarrassing,” Seokjin said with a pout, and he pulled off his shirt.
Taehyung hummed, dragging his gaze down Seokjin’s torso. He was fuller now, no longer on the brink of starvation. He’d always been the sexiest person alive to Taehyung, but – damn, he was good looking.
“What?” Seokjin said, blushing at Taehyung’s look.
“Nothing,” Taehyung said, running his hand up Seokjin’s ribs. “Just thinking about how much of a total babe you are.”
Seokjin’s blush grew deeper, and he laughed. “Come on,” he said, dismounting Taehyung. “On the floor.”
Taehyung obeyed, bringing his blanket with him. It may have been old, but it was hopefully soft enough to avoid rug burns. Taehyung’s shirt came off, then their pants. He lay on his back, letting Seokjin settle between his thighs. Based on the sounds from the other room, they still had plenty of time. Yoongi knew how to draw it out.
“So beautiful,” Seokjin said, leaning forward. He pressed kisses against Taehyung’s collarbone, running his fingers from his knee to his hip, teasing at the skin on his thigh. He wasn’t as sensitive there as he once had been thanks to his years of self-harm, but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy every inch of contact.
“Love you,” Taehyung said as Seokjin got his fingers wet with lube. He would be forever thankful that Jimin had bought so many, or he and Seokjin never would have slept together that first time. Taehyung didn’t like to think about what might have happened if they hadn’t gotten that far that first cataclysmic night.
It was so easy to relax for Seokjin. There was no effort, no deep breathing. The moment Seokjin slid a finger inside, Taehyung’s body reacted instinctively, going almost limp as he submitted to his brother.
Whispered passion kept Taehyung grounded as he was stretched out. He focused on Seokjin’s voice, his touch, his scent, his taste, his everything. Taehyung was drowning in Seokjin, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Jimin let out a cry of pleasure as Seokjin started pushing his cock inside. Taehyung allowed himself a quiet moan, a little bit of self-indulgence masked by the sounds of their friends. Seokjin replied with his own sound, a heavy sigh as he shuffled closer. His cock was big, stretching Taehyung out to his limit.
“Fuck me,” Taehyung whispered, getting impatient. “Hard.”
A smile passed over Seokjin’s face as he pulled out, then pushed back in with a good amount of force. Taehyung bit his lip, wrapping his legs around Seokjin’s waist. Seokjin’s thrusts were so good, hitting him in all the right spots.
“Harder,” Taehyung said. He hooked his hands under his knees as Seokjin leaned over, hands braced on either side of Taehyung’s body. He slammed into Taehyung, the full length of his cock going as deep as it could go. Taehyung bit back moans, his back roughly sliding against his blanket.
“Fuck, fuck,” Jimin moaned.
“More – fuck yeah – “ Taehyung took advantage of the squeaking bed from the other room to mask his quiet begs. “Harder – oh God – “
To Taehyung’s dismay, Seokjin’s thrusts slowed until he came to a full stop. “Tae,” he said, his quiet voice dropping into a lower register. “I can only go so hard. If you expect more, you’re just going to be disappointed.”
Taehyung shuddered at the sound of Seokjin’s deep voice, but he smirked. “So, what you’re saying is,” he said slyly, “you’re not good enough to please me.”
Seokjin narrowed his eyes. “Brat.”
“Not my fault you’ve gotten rusty.”
Without warning, Seokjin laid a quick slap to the side of Taehyung’s rear. Taehyung squealed, eyes wide with surprise. It was more playful than anything, not enough to hurt him, not even a little sting, but it sent a shudder of pleasure through Taehyung’s body.
For a moment, they were still, listening to the sounds of Jimin’s moans and Yoongi’s grunts through the walls. A full blush had spread across Taehyung as Seokjin looked down at him with alarm. He twisted his hips to the side, which was difficult with Seokjin’s cock still lodged inside, and kept a leg raised to expose himself more.
“A-again,” he said, voice barely loud enough to be heard over their friends.
A brief expression of uncertainty passed over Seokjin’s face, but he obeyed, slapping him again. It was a bit firmer, getting most of Taehyung’s cheek now that he’d shifted.
Taehyung whimpered and nodded. “Again.”
This time, Seokjin sat back and grabbed the back of Taehyung’s knee, pushing it until Taehyung rolled to his side. He straddled his other leg, shuffling close enough to slide in again. His cock stretched Taehyung in a different way, making him squirm, and Seokjin spanked him again.
Taehyung let out a strangled, “Oh f-fuck.” He grabbed his blanket, drawing it to his mouth. There was no way he’d be able to stay quiet. “Fuck me – oh fuck me – fuck – “
Seokjin started fucking him again, the new position hitting Taehyung deep. He waited for another slap, his body tense with anticipation. It wasn’t until Jimin let out a particularly loud moan that it came, full-palmed and resonating. Taehyung squealed into his blanket, body bucking against the pain.
He didn’t need to beg for more. Seokjin fucked him hard, laying another slap right across his ass whenever he was given the chance. Taehyung jerked, clamping his teeth down on the blanket.
Somehow, Taehyung felt like he deserved to be hit by Seokjin. He’d treated Seokjin like shit, both before they were separated and after. Taehyung’s life had been in shambles, and he lashed out in every way possible, hoping to hurt Seokjin, and it had worked. He deserved to be punished.
Another slap, another squeal. Taehyung wrapped his fist around his cock, jerking himself off as Seokjin fucked him hard. He was sore from the position, skin hot from every spank, and it filled Taehyung to the brim with pleasure. He stroked himself faster, palm slick with precome. He grit his teeth, tears in his eyes, trying to stay as quiet as possible, but a final firm spank sent him over the edge. He climaxed, letting out a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a sob. His muscles were twitching, tense, and so, so tight around Seokjin’s cock.
“Quiet,” Seokjin growled, but the sound of his voice just sent another surge of pleasure through Taehyung’s body, drawing out another moan.
Seokjin pulled out, and for a split second, Taehyung was afraid Seokjin was going to leave him. Instead, Seokjin flipped Taehyung onto his stomach and shoved his cock back inside.
Taehyung let out a startled gasp, but Seokjin held him down, one hand on his spine, one hand on the back of Taehyung’s head, forcing his face into the blanket. It muffled anything that tried to claw its way from Taehyung’s throat as Seokjin fucked him hard. He could hear Jimin and Yoongi over the sounds of Seokjin’s ragged breathing.
With Seokjin’s hand on the back of his head, Taehyung could hardly breathe, and it felt amazing. His fingers were tingling, a black tunnel forming around his vision, slowly getting tighter and tighter, until all he could feel was Seokjin’s body on top of his. It was like when they were younger, back when everything was still hidden in silence. Seokjin would lay on top of him, the weight of his body pressing him down into the mattress as he humped him. This time, Seokjin was fucking him hard and fast, just like Taehyung liked it.
“Fuck,” Seokjin grunted, his hips stuttering to a halt. His cock was flexing deep inside Taehyung’s ass as he came, fingers digging into Taehyung’s hair. He gave a few weak thrusts, quiet whimpers caught in the back of his throat, until he released Taehyung.
Judging by the sounds from the other room, Jimin and Yoongi were close to finishing as well. Taehyung’s head flopped to the side and listened to them as he tried to catch his breath, the feeling returning to his appendages.
Seokjin pulled out and rubbed his hand in small circles over Taehyung’s back. “Tae?” he said quietly, his breathing still labored.
Taehyung grunted, struggling to form any form of verbal communication.
“Tae-honey, you okay?”
A huff of a laugh forced its way through Taehyung’s nose as Seokjin’s ‘mother mode’ switched on. “’M okay,” he mumbled.
“I’m sorry,” Seokjin said. He leaned forward, pressing soft kisses on Taehyung’s sweaty shoulder. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
This brought out a real laugh, which Seokjin quickly shushed.
“You didn’t hurt me,” Taehyung said, finally rolling onto his back. Seokjin was still straddled over him, looking down with the utmost concern. “It was good. Really fucking good.”
“Are you sure?” Seokjin said, running his fingers along Taehyung’s jaw.
Taehyung nodded. He grabbed Seokjin’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
Seokjin smiled and gave Taehyung a soft kiss. He quietly nudged Taehyung until he got up, steadying him on wobbly legs so he could climb back into bed. He was just as caring and attentive as Taehyung had come to expect from this side of Seokjin. He cleaned them off, kissed him over and over, whispering the sweetest things that made Taehyung’s heart pound, about how much he loved him, how he would never let him go, how he’d take care of Taehyung forever.
Taehyung wasn’t ready to believe Seokjin. But he wanted to.
The shower from the master bathroom started up, and Taehyung froze. This was usually when Seokjin would leave. It was the safest time for him to do it since they would only have to worry about Hoseok. Taehyung would peek his head out the door, confirm the landing was clear, then Seokjin would scurry back down to his room.
But he didn’t want Seokjin to go. Not this time. It was too much, too hard. He wanted to be in his arms forever and ever.
Seokjin’s gentle voice hushed Taehyung a few times. He hadn’t even realized he’d started whining. “I’m not going to leave you,” Seokjin said, kissing Taehyung’s forehead.
“You’re not?” Taehyung whimpered.
“No,” Seokjin said. “I’ll stay here with you tonight.”
“B-but the others,” Taehyung said. Despite his objection, tears of relief spilled down his cheeks.
“We’ll sneak out tomorrow,” Seokjin said. He pulled Taehyung against him, cradled him, brushed his hair behind his ear. “I want to be with you right now.”
Taehyung let out a soft sob, burying his face into Seokjin’s neck. The worst part was he heard Seokjin’s words, and he believed him. Seokjin didn’t want to go away. He wanted to be right there with Taehyung, taking care of him.
“I’m done pretending,” Taehyung said quietly.
“Pretending?”
“To hate you,” Taehyung clarified. “I’m done pretending I hate you.” He expected hesitation, for Seokjin to sigh and explain to him how they couldn’t do that yet, but, to Taehyung’s surprise, Seokjin smiled.
“Okay,” he said.
“Yeah?” Taehyung squeaked, breath catching in his throat.
Seokjin let out a soft laugh and pressed his nose against Taehyung’s. “Yeah. We’ll say that we apologized and made up.”
“Perfect,” Taehyung said, nodding. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to be coddled for a while longer, until the telltale signs of sleep slowly descended on him.
A thought wormed its way into Taehyung’s brain. It brought him back to full alertness.
“Jin,” Taehyung said quietly.
Seokjin hummed softly, clearly on the verge of sleep himself. “What’s up, little baby brother?”
“You’re my boyfriend.” It wasn’t a question.
A smile spread across Seokjin’s face, and he gave Taehyung a kiss. “I’m your boyfriend.”
Taehyung slept better than he had in years. Having Seokjin next to him, feeling his skin pressed against his own, while he dreamed kept all the nightmares away. Video calling while they were in bed, an entire hallway between them, couldn’t compare to this. Nothing could compare to waking up and seeing Seokjin smiling back at him, kissing him even as his brain fought away the fog of sleep.
“Good morning,” Seokjin whispered.
“Morning,” Taehyung said, stretching out his limbs. “What time is it?”
“Early. We should get up.”
Taehyung groaned and rolled over, pressing his face against Seokjin’s bare chest. “I want to sleep in. With you.”
Seokjin laughed and nudged Taehyung away. “Come on. Before anyone wakes up. I’ll make breakfast.”
Taehyung hummed, his stomach grumbling in response to the suggestion. After getting dressed, Taehyung opened his door just enough to put the ear to the crack. The house was silent, but he waited, counting off the seconds in his head until he was sure everyone was still asleep.
“You go first,” Taehyung said, shooing Seokjin out the door. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Seokjin smiled and chanced a quick kiss before rushing off. He didn’t walk straight, his feet hitting specific spots on the floor, not making a single sound. Taehyung smiled, but he couldn’t help feeling a little jealous. He’d have to work harder to get better at that. Seokjin was a natural.
Taehyung paced around in his room, antsy to get downstairs with Seokjin. With his boyfriend. They wouldn’t have to pretend to hate each other again. They could chat together when the others were around. They could sit together on the couch. Hang out in each other’s rooms without sneaking around.
Unable to wait any longer, Taehyung rushed out of his room. A sweet smell had already filled the air. “Mmmm,” Taehyung said appreciatively, joining Seokjin in the kitchen. “Pancakes?”
“And eggs.”
“You’ve really turned into quite the chef,” Taehyung said, wrapping his arms around Seokjin from behind. He kept an ear out for their roommates. He expected Seokjin to push him away in fear of being caught, but his brother just turned and gave him a kiss. It was slow, intimate, the exact sort of kiss that Taehyung could look forward to every day. “A chef and a babe.”
Seokjin laughed with a little blush. He nodded to the table. “Go sit. It’ll be done in a minute.”
“One more,” Taehyung begged, and he was rewarded with another kiss before Seokjin shooed him away. He browsed through his phone as Seokjin finished up their breakfast.
“Oh fuck,” Taehyung said with a groan, remembering a conversation he’d had with Alex the previous day.
“What’s the matter?” Seokjin said. He placed a plate in front of Taehyung – pancakes, grapes, eggs, crackers, cheese.
Taehyung raised an eyebrow at Seokjin. “This is quite the breakfast.”
“Is something wrong with it?” Seokjin said with confusion. He sat on the opposite end of the table. Taehyung pouted, but he understood it was just because they couldn’t jump straight to perfect relationship in one evening.
“Nothing wrong with it, it’s just – um – a lot.”
Seokjin blushed, looking down at his plate. “I guess it’s always been one of my dreams,” he said quietly. “I never want you to go hungry again.”
There were about thirty urges Taehyung had to fight down, the most prominent being to rush over and kiss Seokjin a thousand times. They’d never have to worry about that sort of thing anymore.
“Anyway,” Seokjin said, “you seemed upset about something a minute ago. What’s going on?”
“Oh, right,” Taehyung said with a sigh. “I promised Alex we would go to the movies today.”
It was Seokjin’s turn to pout.
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung said. “I didn’t think we’d stop pretending already.”
“It’s okay,” Seokjin said. “You guys will have fun.”
Taehyung whined and pretended to stomp his feet. “I should cancel.”
“Taehyung,” Seokjin said. Uh-oh. ‘Daddy mode.’ “You can’t just abandon your friendship. Go see the movie with her.”
Taehyung glared at Seokjin and took a massive bite from his pancakes. His brother really had no idea how much power he held with that voice.
A set of lethargic footsteps began moving around upstairs, then Jimin came down. He hesitated, looking back and forth at the brothers sitting at the table. Taehyung smiled and waved. “Morning, sleepyhead.”
Jimin smiled. It was wide and pure, happier than Taehyung had seen since before the dinner night meltdown. He came over and wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s neck in a hug, squeezing tight.
Taehyung laughed and squirmed until Jimin released him. “You seem to be feeling better.”
Jimin winced, wrinkling his nose. “Yeah, I’ve just been stressed out recently.” He dropped a sudden kiss on the back of Taehyung’s head, making him laugh again.
“Well, hopefully Yoongi’s been fucking the stress out of you,” Taehyung said, loving the way Jimin blushed. Really, he and Yoongi had no right to be embarrassed with how shamelessly vocal they were every night.
“You and Alex seem to be getting along just fine,” Jimin said, giving him a pointed look as he went into the kitchen. “Ooh, pancakes!”
Seokjin raised an eyebrow at Taehyung, whose face heated up. He hoped Seokjin didn’t think they were more involved than they really were.
Jimin plopped himself down at the table, digging into the pancakes like he’d never eaten one before in his life. “Seriously, this is so good,” Jimin said through a stuffed mouth.
Seokjin looked down, but Taehyung didn’t miss his smile. “Will Yoongi be having some?” Seokjin said, sounding hopeful.
Jimin shook his head. “Sorry, he left for work earlier.”
Damn. He must have picked up an opening shift. Taehyung gave a little thanks to God that they hadn’t run into him earlier.
“I guess that’s okay,” Seokjin said with a shrug. “Hoseok should be down soon. He has a late shift today, too.”
As Jimin finished off another pancake, he looked between the brothers. “You guys doing okay? Talking a bit?”
“A bit,” Taehyung said, the lie rolling off his tongue. “Not perfect but we’re getting there. Just getting used to being brothers again.”
Seokjin nodded, his lips twitching into a frown. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” Taehyung said with a sigh. “You’re weird, I get it. It’ll take some time.” It was impressive how smoothly their story came together without any rehearsal. Two years of separation wasn’t enough to break that instinct.
“What about Alex?” Jimin said.
Taehyung squirmed uncomfortably as Seokjin turned his gaze to him. “She’s good. We’re going to hang out again tonight.” Obedient, just for Seokjin. “Gonna see a movie. Same movie you and Yoongi saw now that it’s in the three-dollar-theater. It was good, right?”
Jimin opened his mouth like he was searching for words, his eyebrows raised in an expression of forced calm. “Oh. Um. Yeah. I think?”
“You think?” Taehyung said, raising an eyebrow. He waited for a response, but Jimin just blinked a few times, trying to look as innocent as possible. A light clicked on in Taehyung’s head. “Oh my God,” he said with a noise of disgust. “You guys got frisky in the theater, didn’t you?”
“What?” Jimin said, his voice a bit shrill. “Me? Us? We could never – “
“Have you no shame?” Taehyung said, but honestly, he wasn’t that surprised. His friends were, indeed, completely shameless. Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh at Jimin’s flustered expression.
“Well,” Jimin said haughtily, clearly trying to look calmer than he felt, “I hope you enjoy the movie as much as I did.”
“I don’t think anyone can enjoy anything as much as you enjoy Yoongi,” Taehyung said with a snort, and he defaulted the joke he’d told Hoseok the previous morning. “My porn can’t even block you out. I had the volume at max, too!”
Jimin’s laughter came to a sudden halt, and he tilted his head to the side. “You watch porn?”
Taehyung’s laughter also cut short, a blush covering his face. He hadn’t expected Jimin to believe him. Unless –
Maybe Jimin overheard them.
Despite years of practice with lies, Taehyung couldn’t help but stutter, “I mean, yeah? Do-doesn’t everyone?”
“But like, on the TV?”
“Jeez, what is this?” Taehyung said, forcing out a chuckle. Natural. He had to act natural. “Not like I watch it down here. I use the TV in my room.”
A look of realization dawned on Jimin’s face.
Fuck. He must have. It took every ounce of effort not to glance at Seokjin to see if he had the same thought.
“Okay, okay,” Seokjin interjected, acting much cooler than Taehyung was. “Can we not talk about my brother’s sexual tendances at the dinner table? Please?” He’d always been the better liar.
“Blame Jimin,” Taehyung said, following Seokjin’s lead.
“Hey,” Jimin said, kicking Taehyung under the table. “You were the one who brought it up!”
“Well, you didn’t have to turn it into the Spanish Inquisition,” Taehyung said with a huff. “Of course I watch porn. Everyone watches porn.”
“Please,” Seokjin begged with a hint of laughter. Such a good liar. “Just, please. Stop.”
Without warning, Jimin sniffled, tears filling his eyes. Seokjin and Taehyung looked at each other in shock.
“Oh, sweetie,” Seokjin said, grabbing Jimin’s hand on the table. “What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying,” Jimin said. “I’m just – “ He gave a laugh and shook his head. “You guys have been fighting and I’m just so happy that you’re not fighting anymore.”
A small ache grew in Taehyung’s heart. If Jimin was this upset about their faux rivalry, maybe he hadn’t overheard them. Taehyung was probably just overreacting.
Seokjin scooted his chair closer to Jimin and pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t think – I didn’t know that this would affect you, too.”
Taehyung could tell that wasn’t a lie.
Jimin hugged Seokjin back. “You’re stupid. We love you. We love Tae, too.” He gave Taehyung a smile. “We just wanted you guys to be happy.”
“You don’t’ have to worry about us anymore,” Seokjin said, ruffling up Jimin’s hair. “Okay?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung added. “We’re all good now. Right, big bro?”
“Getting there,” Seokjin said as though he hadn’t fucked Taehyung into pure oblivion last night.
Jimin nodded and wiped away the last of his tears. “So,” he said, “I’m going to work. Double shift. Hoseok is going to work. Tae is going to the movies. What are you going to do, Jin?”
“I was kind of hoping to hang out with Yoongi. Recently you guys have been very busy.” He gave Jimin a pointed look.
“Stop it, oh my god,” Jimin said with a laugh. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“That’s okay,” Seokjin said, grinning. “But when he comes back home, maybe we’ll play some games.”
Jimin took a deep breath, calming the rest of his giggles. “That sounds awesome, Jin. I know he’ll like that.” He stood to wash off his plate and excused himself to get ready for work.
Seokjin and Taehyung sat in silence. The conversation was playing on repeat in his head, analyzing Jimin’s comments and reactions about the porn. It could have been nothing. But it also could have been something.
“We need to be careful,” Seokjin said, confirming that he’d been thinking about it, too.
“Do you think he’s heard?” Taehyung whispered.
“I don’t know,” Seokjin said. “Kinda thought he might have been more – you know – freaked out if he did hear us.”
“Yeah,” Taehyung said with a nervous laugh. He didn’t like to be reminded of exactly how taboo their relationship was. ‘This is wrong’ was an easier statement to swallow than ‘this could completely destroy our lives if someone found out.’ It already had once before.
“We’ll just, you know, take a break,” Seokjin said.
“What? No!” Taehyung said, his heartrate spiking. He didn’t want to be apart from Seokjin, not now, not ever.
“Relax,” Seokjin said with a smile. “I don’t mean we take a break from each other. Just from, you know, the extracurricular activities.”
Taehyung chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Fine,” he said reluctantly. “But making out is still on the table.”
Seokjin laughed. He was so gorgeous. “We can still make out.”
Yesterday, seeing a movie with Alex had been a fun idea. It was the type of movie he would have begged his grandma to see over and over until she caved and gave him money for a ticket, even though she disagreed with its content.
Today, seeing a movie was a terrible idea. Taehyung didn’t want to go. Hoseok had been home most of the morning, and after he left, right when Seokjin and Taehyung settled down for a nice make out session, Alex texted him to announce her arrival. Taehyung groaned and whined and complained, but Seokjin used his ‘daddy mode’ to assuage his annoyance and get him out the door.
They watched the movie, and afterwards they went out for food. Taehyung wanted to go home, but a few texts with Seokjin reminded him that Yoongi was now home, so it wasn’t like they’d be able to cuddle anyway.
By the time Alex dropped him off at home again, Taehyung had only been gone for a few hours, but it felt like it had been years. Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok were sitting on the floor around the coffee table when Taehyung walked in. There were piles of playing cards spread out around them, but Taehyung didn’t recognize what game they were playing.
“Oh fuck,” Yoongi said, looking at his phone. “I need to pick Jimin up. Shoulda left by now.” He scrambled up and gave Taehyung a quick ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ as he rushed passed him and out the door.
“Hi, Taehyung,” Hoseok said, tidying up the piles. “Do you want to join? I can deal you in.”
“No thanks,” Taehyung said with a polite smile. “I’m a little tired.”
“Are you hungry?” Seokjin said. “There’s some frozen pizza I can make.”
Taehyung’s heart fluttered. It felt good to be directly addressed by Seokjin when someone else was in the room. “Yeah, pizza sounds good.”
Hoseok smiled, packing the cards away. “I’ll just leave you two to that,” he said. “Give you some time to hang out.”
“Why don’t you stay down here,” Seokjin said to Hoseok. “Tae and I will watch a movie upstairs so we don’t bother you.”
“Works for me,” Hoseok said. “Enjoy.”
Taehyung had to turn away quickly to hide his excited smile. He did a quick scan over the many movies on the shelves and grabbed a few that he was interested in seeing.
“Oh, Tae,” Seokjin said before Taehyung could go upstairs. “Your room, okay?” He glanced at Hoseok to confirm he wasn’t paying attention, then mouthed ‘safer.’
Taehyung grinned and nodded, then tried his hardest to walk up the stairs with a normal pace, not letting his giddiness come to the surface. His fingers were trembling with excitement. He was going to hang out with Seokjin, and everyone knew they were going to hang out. They didn’t have to hide that anymore.
When Taehyung’s door opened, Seokjin didn’t have to sneak inside. He just walked right in and shut the door, a big, beautiful smile plastered on his face.
“Hey,” Seokjin said. He stepped up to Taehyung without hesitation and kissed him, hands on his hips.
The confidence was dizzying. Taehyung melted in Seokjin’s embrace.
“I missed you,” Seokjin said, his lips barely leaving Taehyung’s long enough to speak.
“You’ve been saying that a lot recently,” Taehyung said.
“Only because I mean it.” Seokjin smiled and motioned for Taehyung to get on the bed. “Remember – no extra-curricular activities.”
“I know,” Taehyung said, patting the bed beside him. “But you said making out was okay.”
Seokjin chuckled. He pressed kisses against Taehyung’s lips, pushing on him until he lay on his back. “Making out is okay.” He settled down next to Taehyung, pulling him into a deeper kiss.
Making out was fun. Making out was great. Taehyung loved when Seokjin cupped the back of his neck and held him close, their tongues languidly moving together.
The problem with making out was that it usually was supposed to lead to other things. It would be so easy for Seokjin to slip his hands into Taehyung’s pants. He could jerk Taehyung off, kissing him the whole time, before Jimin and Yoongi got back home. Hell, they would probably have enough time for Taehyung to suck Seokjin off.
But no, they needed at least a little self-control. They didn’t know whether or not Jimin had heard them, but they couldn’t risk it. Not now. Not when their renewed relationship was still fresh.
A sharp beeping drew the brothers apart with a gasp. Seokjin laughed, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Pizza is done.”
“What?” Taehyung said. “You just put it in there!”
“It’s been twenty minutes, baby brother,” Seokjin said with a chuckle. “I’ll be right back. Figure out what movie you want to watch.”
“You mean we’re not just going to make out all night?” Taehyung said, and he laughed at Seokjin’s unamused look.
Left alone once again, Taehyung looked over the movies he’d grabbed. He’d already seen one of them, but he really liked it. Maybe Seokjin would like it just as much as him.
Of course, it didn’t really matter which one he chose, since they’d be too busy kissing.
When Taehyung’s door opened again, it was Jimin who poked his head inside, Seokjin and Yoongi standing behind him. “Hi, Tae!”
“Good day at work?” Taehyung said with a smile. It was nice having him back in high spirits again.
“Yup! Enjoy the movie?”
“Probably not as much as you did!”
Jimin laughed. Yoongi pinched him, making him flinch. “Hey! What – “
“You told them?” Yoongi grumbled.
“Not on purpose!”
Seokjin laughed and nudged his way past Jimin. He had a plate of pizza and two glasses of water. “You’re welcome to join us for a movie if you want.”
“Nah,” Jimin said. “We’re probably gonna fuck.” Yoongi pinched him again.
“Okay, well, try to keep it down?” Seokjin said, setting the plate and glasses on the bedside table.
“We’ll certainly try,” Yoongi said, “but you know Jimin.” He pulled the door shut before Jimin could admonish him.
Seokjin snorted, shaking his head. “Like he has any room to talk. He can be just as loud as Jimin when he bottoms.”
Taehyung’s eyes widened. “Yoongi bottoms?”
“I only heard it once,” Seokjin said, sitting down. “I don’t know if they’ve done it since then. Which movie did you pick?”
“Have you seen this one?” Taehyung said, holding one up, and Seokjin shook his head. “Awesome. I love it.”
“And I love you,” Seokjin said, leaning close so he could bump against Taehyung’s side.
“Love you, too, babe,” Taehyung said, grinning at the blush and eye roll he got in return. “What’s the matter? Would you rather me call you sweet pea?”
“Oh, god, no,” Seokjin said with a laugh.
“Suit yourself. Babe.” Taehyung chuckled and got more comfortable on the bed. “Anyway, movie time.”
Taehyung hadn’t realized how difficult it would be to avoid sex. He knew it would be difficult in theory, but when he was in bed next to Seokjin, the sound of the movie filling the room, Taehyung found himself fidgeting.
“What’s the matter?” Seokjin said, munching on his pizza.
“I wanna suck your dick.”
Seokjin choked on his bite. Taehyung laughed and hit Seokjin on the back a few times to make sure he wasn’t dying.
“Tae,” Seokjin said, eyes watering. “We can’t – “
“I know, I know,” Taehyung said. He paused as the shower from the bathroom next door turned on. It was loud. Combined with the sounds of the movie, there’d be no way for anyone to hear them.
“Taehyung,” Seokjin said in a warning tone. “Just a little while, okay? Just to make sure they don’t get suspicious.”
“All right,” Taehyung said with a sigh. “But just know that when we start again, I demand reparations.”
“What sort of reparations would you like?” Seokjin said, an eyebrow raised.
“Let’s see,” Taehyung said, “I would require a minimum of fifteen minutes per day with your dick in my mouth. You’ll definitely need to fuck me at least once a day. More, depending on my mood. I’m talking like, Jimin and Yoongi amount of sex. Oh, and Jimin had said something about Yoongi eating ass, and it got me thinking that we can try that out.”
Seokjin burst into a violent fit of coughs again, and he grabbed his glass of water to wash it all down.
“So, can we agree to these terms?” Taehyung said with an innocent smile.
Seokjin chuckled a few more times, downing the rest of his water. He let out a satisfied sigh, setting the glass aside. “I’m open to negotiations.”
Taehyung giggled and gave Seokjin a kiss on the cheek.
“Come on,” Seokjin said. “Settle down. You want me to see the movie, right?”
“Right, right,” Taehyung said, realizing they’d missed a bit of the opening scenes. He lay on the bed, inviting Seokjin to curl up behind him so they could both see the screen. Despite having already seen it, just having his brother’s body against his made it a thousand times better.
“Falling asleep?” Seokjin’s voice was low, calm.
“No,” Taehyung said, opening his eyes. He hadn’t even realized he’d closed them. Seokjin’s presence was too relaxing, apparently.
“It’s okay if you do,” Seokjin said. He kissed the side of Taehyung’s head. “I’ll sleep here tonight.”
Taehyung smiled, letting his eyes slip shut again. The movie was nothing but a blur of light through his eyelids and sound. Seokjin was running his fingers through his hair, holding him close. Taehyung never really fell asleep, but he wasn’t quite awake. He drifted between the two states.
“Gonna clean up,” Seokjin whispered. Taehyung tried to grunt in response, but he barely managed a huff. Seokjin pet his head softly and began gathering up the dishes. The door opened, and Taehyung smiled, happy that Seokjin wouldn’t have to sneak out or in anymore. Soon he’d be back in Taehyung’s bed, holding onto him. Maybe he’d even let Taehyung suck his thumb. The mere thought of it had Taehyung humming in content.
An ear-shattering crash ripped Taehyung upright, heart leaping to his throat in panic. Seokjin rushed back into the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
“Jin?”
Seokjin scrambled onto the bed, grabbing Taehyung tight, a terror alight in his eyes.
“What’s the matter, babe?” Taehyung said, heart thumping wildly away in his chest as Seokjin trembled in his arms.
“They know,” Seokjin said, his voice cracking. “Oh, god, Taehyung, they know.”