Chapter Text
Lena braced herself slightly and knocked on the door. After a few moments, the door opened. Kara’s bright blue eyes gazed at her in surprise.
“Lena,” she said, her hands coming up to fiddle with her glasses. “What are you doing here?”
“I...well, I’m sorry to drop by unannounced, but there’s something I want to talk to you about and I felt it was better to do it in person. Plus, I’m not drunk this time around.” She smiled nervously and fought the urge to flee, to put as much space as possible between her and the women standing in front of her.
“Oh, well, it’s not the best time…”
Lena looked behind Kara and saw Morgan sitting at the kitchen table. The woman waved and Lena had to fight to control her breathing.
“Oh, of- of course,” Lena stammered. “I shouldn’t have interrupted. I’m sorry.” She fought the weight that was settling in her chest and turned away.
“Wait, Lena,” Kara said, reaching out to grasp Lena’s arm. “If it’s really important, I can come see you later tonight?” She looked unsure of herself, as if she was scared of overstepping.
Lena paused and turned back to face Kara. “That would be great,” she said, doing her best to keep the dejection out of her voice. “I’ll be around all night.”
‘Okay, I’ll see you soon, then.” Kara returned to the apartment, closing the door gently as Lena made her way down the hallway and out into the night.
Lena spent the next hour and a half alternating between sitting tensely on her couch and pacing her living room. She desperately wanted a glass of wine, just to take the edge off her nerves, but wanted to make sure she was entirely sober for this conversation with Kara. At half past nine, she heard a gentle knock on her door and sprang up from her position on the couch. She’d been half expecting Kara to arrive via the balcony and was slightly surprised when she opened the door to reveal the blonde.
Kara looked nervous as she stood on Lena’s doorstep. “Hey, Lena,” she said softly, adjusting her glasses.
“Hi, Kara. Come in, please.” Lena stepped aside to let Kara enter the apartment. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and knew with certainty that Kara could hear it thundering away. She tried to dismiss that knowledge, but it only increased her nerves.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Lena offered, unable to resist playing hostess.
“No, thank you, I’m fine,” Kara said, standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room.
“Thanks for coming over,” Lena said. “I...Well, I really want to talk to you about something. I’ve wanted to for weeks, actually.”
Kara looked at her warily, like Lena was going to start hurling accusations at her. “Okay,” she said slowly.
“It’s nothing bad,” Lena felt the need to clarify. “I mean, I guess it depends on your definition of bad…” she mumbled.
“Lena, you’re being a little cryptic,” Kara said, finally cracking a small smile.
“I’m sorry,” Lena groaned. “This was so much easier in my head.” Kara took a seat on the couch as Lena began to pace back and forth.
“Lena, whatever it is, you can say it. I can take it.” Kara’s preparation for the worst made Lena’s heart ache.
“Okay,” Lena said, blowing out a breath. “I guess, I should just say it. Rip the bandaid off, so to speak.”
Kara nodded at her in encouragement.
“I am so unbelievably sorry, Kara. For how I reacted when I found out you’re Supergirl. For pushing you away, for saying I hated you. That was never true. I was just so upset that you’d lied to me for years and I lashed out in the worst way possible. I regretted it almost immediately. I know I hurt you and for that I am so incredibly sorry.”
Kara’s gaze dropped to where her hands rested in her lap. “You know,” she began tentatively, “that night, when we had that final fight, was one of the two worst nights of my life.”
Lena knew what the other worst night was and her heart dropped at the knowledge that her actions had caused the same pain as the destruction of Kara’s planet.
“In that moment, I hated Supergirl. I’ve always loved helping people. It felt like a calling,” Kara admitted. “But being Supergirl cost me the greatest thing I’ve ever had and I hated it. I left National City the next day. I never thought I’d be Supergirl again. I never thought I’d be happy again. Alex tried to convince me to stay, but this life just didn’t feel worth living anymore.”
Kara’s words felt like a physical blow. Lena tried in vain to keep the pain off her face.
“Not life in general,” Kara quickly amended. “Just the life I had been living. It didn’t feel worth it to be Supergirl, or Kara Danvers. How could something that was supposed to be good bring me such pain?”
“Kara,” Lena whispered. “I am so sorry. Hurting you is the worst mistake I’ve ever made, the worst thing I’ve ever done in this life. I will never stop being sorry for causing you pain.”
Kara looked up and Lena could see tears shimmering in her eyes. Lena tentatively moved towards the couch, sitting down an arms length from Kara and reaching out to grasp her hands. Kara didn’t shy away from Lena’s touch and Lena felt such immense relief she almost cried.
“There’s something else I need to say,” Lena said quietly, forcing herself to look into Kara’s warm blue eyes.
“Okay,” Kara said. “What is it?”
“I- I-,” Lena stuttered and Kara squeezed her hands.
“What is it, Lee?” she said again.
“I’m still in love with you,” Lena blurted out.
Kara looked slightly shocked. “You- you are?”
“I know I don’t deserve your love, not anymore, not after how I hurt you,” Lena said, sniffling. “But I just needed you to know. I need you to know that you, Kara Zor-El, are the love of my life. I’ve loved you since I met you and my heart has never stopped loving you. It never will.”
Kara sat in silence for a moment, clearly shocked by Lena’s admission. “You...still love me? Even after everything? After I lied to you and left?” It was like Kara couldn’t believe Lena could still care for her.
“Yes,” Lena said softly. “Of course, I do, Kara. You are my sun. You are my everything. I don’t expect this to change where we are now. I know it can’t fix everything-”
But Lena was cut off by the abrupt feeling of Kara’s lips on hers. After over two years, it was as if Lena could breathe again. For a moment, her lips were still, so shocked was she at the feeling of Kara against her. Then, she sunk into the kiss with such immense relief it nearly overwhelmed her.
After a moment, Lena broke off the kiss, placing their foreheads together and staring into Kara’s eyes, in awe and confusion.
“What about Morgan?” Lena asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.
“Morgan and I aren’t together, Lena. We’re just friends,” Kara said.
“But, I saw the way you two were at the bar,” Lena protested. “She kept touching you and she bought your drink and…” Lena trailed off, seeing the amusement in Kara’s eyes.
“Someone was jealous, huh?” Kara said, nuzzling her nose against Lena’s. She drew back slightly and smirked at Lena.
“Of course I was,” Lena groaned. “You were on a date with another woman!”
“It never went beyond that,” Kara informed her. “Morgan wanted more, but I wasn’t ready. It turns out my heart still belonged to someone else.” With that, she leaned in again, pressing her lips to Lena’s once more.
Lena felt as if she could fly.