Crit_a_Cola
The Best Damn Thing You Put in Your Mouth
Bio
Hello, I'm Crit-a-Cola! I was born in a Mann Co. Factory! My current resident is in Mr. Scouts' fridge, but if I ever want a vacation I'll hang out in his cooler.
I like to take a long run around the battlefield (within the safety of Mr. Scouts' backpack, of course) and being yeeted into the air for fun (please don't drop me). Just a warning, don't ever shake me or I'll blow my top and you wouldn't like that.
I automatically refill after 22 seconds, so replace your pesky blood with me and go on a binge drinking rampage. Like Mr. Scout! I'm the only thing you'll ever need, regardless of what nutritionist say. Radiation is the best source of vitamins!
And remember, Manliness Guaranteed or we'll give you a beating! Second one is absolutely free!