Work Text:
As I storm out of the flat and feel the fresh gust of wind, I realize,I really can't do this anymore. This is the last time I'll let him do this to me.
Louis and I have been together for 3 years now, we live together in a flat in the outskirts of London, and acted like a married couple, but we also fight like cats and dogs constantly.
I just found out he cheated on me with Eleanor.Again.
I walked towards this small park near our flat in London. Whenever we fight I always immediately come here to clear my mind and just relax for a while. I guess its become an instinct now.
I reach the swing and sit on the one on the left, and just sit there, slowly swinging my feet around the humid ground, making circles with my feet, while just starring up at the dark night sky.
When I first moved here with Louis two and a half years ago, he brought me here. Almost no one comes here, even less this late at night, so its very peaceful.
I remember the first time I came to this park. That day I was really mad at Louis, for the first time. I was really mad, because of what, I honestly don't even remember anymore, we've had so many arguments since then, its hard to keep track of every one. That day he brought me here, practically had to drag me, because I was so mad at him and didn't even want to look at his face at that moment. He sat me down on the left swing and he sat on the right one. That night we talked it out, and he apologized to me for doing whatever he did.
Since then, I always make it a habit to come back here to be alone and cool off after a argument with Louis, which lately, has been at least once a week.
I think back to our argument a few hours earlier.
******
My phone hasn't been working and he let me borrow his cellphone to go on and call and see when I could go pick it up.
When I hung up, I saw he had received a new message.
From Eleanor.
His ex.
This made my blood boil. She's his ex and apparently he's cheated on me with her way too many times and I always end up finding out. And I always take him back for some reason.
His phone shows the text messages, whether you open it or not, so I instantly saw what she had asked him.
She asked him when did he think I would fall asleep so that he could sneak out again and so that she could be ready for him.
Angrily, I stormed out of the kitchen where I had made the long forgotten call for my phone.
I walk to the living room to find Louis watching a game with Niall, both munching on chips, with their dirty feet up on the couch.
"Get out Niall, Now." I hiss at Niall.
Niall is seriously my best friend, but unless he wanted me to go after him too, he better leave in the next few minutes before I explode.
"Wait, whats wrong? Did I do something wron-" He asked me, his face showing his clear confusion at why I was telling him to leave.
"Niall, if I were you, and I valued my life, I would seriously leave right now, before I fucking go off on you like im about to go off on this fucker" I shout, getting angrier and angrier by the second.
Niall made a mad dash at this for the door, hurriedly mumbling a goodbye and telling me not to kill him, not yet.
Once he slams the front door shut, I turn to look at Louis again.
"And you, get your dirty ass feet off of the couch, you fucker. Get up." I scream at him.
He looks up at me scared for his fucking life like he should be, when a scared look of realization appears on his face as I throw his cellphone onto the couch next to him, because he hasn't stood up.
"You went through my phone?!" He screams, looking up at me, clearly infuriated.
"You know I was calling to see when I could go pick up my phone from the shop. I hung up, and oh what do I see? A new message from Eleanor popping up. I really can't believe that you're doing this to me, again. Don't you ever get tired of this shit?" I angrily scream.
******
I ended up leaving the flat, fuming, not wanting to see Louis face for at least a few hours, hence what I am doing at the park.
As I look up at the sky, I start to think more about out relationship. I realize that throughout this whole relationship, me and Louis have just been making the same mistakes, over and over again.
We've been going in circles, and all its making me is dizzy.
I think back to all the times he's cheated on me, the constant arguing, how he gets jealous with any little thing.
This "relationship" of our, is honestly not even a relationship.
I always allow him to cheat on me, and every single time, we talk and he promises to never cheat again, though he always ends up cheating on me with Eleanor.
This relationship isn't healthy anymore.
We always play the same old games, both getting hurt again and again, though mostly I'm the one hurting more.
I realize that we have to make up our minds, or else this relationship will just be based on the same old games.
I can't see when this started to go downhill, not without blaming each other.
We always wait for the end to change, though we never do anything ourselves to stop it.
Realizing this, tears start to fall from my eyes.
I stand up, deciding that me and Louis can't go on like this anymore, its not right, and we're just hurting each other along the way.
I start walking back towards the flat, tears streaming down my face, like a waterfall, unable to stop them, knowing that I'm about to change Louis' and I's life for good now.
I reach the flat, and don't bother knocking, I know that the door is going to be unlocked, just like I left it.
Once I enter, I see Louis come running up to me, hugging me and whispering how he won't do it again, how he doens't want to hurt me anymore, how he loves me and will always only love me.
I shove him away heading straight for our bedroom.
I look into the closet, and pull out my three huge suitcases. As I start to throw my clothes onto the bed and start folding them into the luggage, Louis runs up to me and takes my clothes from my hands, throwing it back into my drawer, huge tear leaking form his eyes.
"Amber please don't do this, you know you don't want to do this, I love you please don't" He hoarsely whispers to me, pulling me into his chest, his tears soaking the top of my head. I look up at him, his usually blue eyes, looking stormy and sad.
I pull away from him and keep on packing my things, though its hard because he's decided that because he doesn't want me to leave him, he has to take everything that he can out of my luggage's,Preventing me from making much progress.
"Louis stop!Just stop. Whether you want me to or not, I'm leaving. If you don't let me leave right now, trust me i'll leave eventually when you fall asleep" I say, irritated that he's acting like such a child.
"No. As long as I live, I won't let you go. I love you Amber. Baby can't you see it? here look" He says all of a sudden running to his drawers and pulling out a little container, suddenly getting down on one knee.
"Louis, please don't, please get up. You seriously can't decide to do this now. You cheated on me, and expect me to marry you? I'm so sorry but I can't do that, you know I can't.
"Amber, please, please just marry me. If you want I wont go out ever again, I wont have any contact with anyone. you and I, we can move to the country and live alone, just us two, and enjoy life together, forever.
Just please don't leave me. I love you. I would die if you left. Please marry me. I'm begging you." He says sobbing, still on his knee.
I bend down, and pull him up and sit him on the bed and hug him while he cries.
Its heartbreaking, because I really do love him, but we can't be together anymore, we're not meant to be together according to faith.
"Louis, I can't marry you, I'm sorry. As much as I would love to, I can't. Something tells me that fate doesn't want us together. I think you should go give it another try with Eleanor. I know she would be happy to get such a wonderful man back into her life." I sadly tell him, tears falling down my face, falling onto his shoulder while I keep on hugging him.
He looks up at me sadly, his usually beautiful and cheerful eye sad, with no glimmer of hope, looking like a lost little child.
"Please don't tell me that," he whispers quietly, "I rather die than be without you."
"Louis please, don't say that, don't you dare think that. I wouldn't be able to live knowing I made you hurt yourself" I tell him, putting the last item into my suitcase and wheeling them to the front door, making sure I don't forget anything important.
Louis runs up to me, begging with his eyes please not to go, though I know we both realize we can't be together anymore.
I lean into him and kiss him goodbye, the last kiss that we'll share in this lifetime. He stands there, crying desperately, looking at me leave him, and our future together.
Somehow I manage to walk with all three suitcases and my purse, heading straight for where I can stay while I plan on what to do next.
Its almost two in the morning, but I know I'll be welcomed in like if it was daytime.
I know on the door and a messy looking Niall eating chips appears at the door, looking at me shocked, that he doesn't know what to say.
"I ended it with him, he cheated one to many time. I told him I was leaving him, but I have nowhere to go. Is it okay if I stay here until I plan on what to do next?" I ask my best friend, who looks to be in shock right now.
"Sure come on in I guess" he mutters, in his thick Irish accent, helping me bring my things in.
This is the start of my new life, without Louis.