Chapter Text
There I lie, on my so-called bed which is nothing more than a mattress on the floor; the springs are faintly visible through the fabric, and my only cover is the thinnest blanket one could possibly have. My body is on fire: the lashes I have received so far this summer are burning with infection, and my thin and malnourished body is struggling to cope with the excessive abuse. I have no clue how much longer I can last here; this is the worst summer I have ever endured whilst living with these people. I barely recall most of the summer as my time here seems fragmented, waking up at different points but always in a haze of pain. Even if I could remember each day, it would have been memories that never seem to change, seeing as I am a prisoner in this small barren room. I’ve spent most of this summer locked away, with little contact from my so-called family aside from the beatings my uncle loves to give me, and with very little food ever given to me. Most of my time is occupied with drifting in and out of sleep; as the number of lashes grows, the pain only increases, the infection running rampant in each new wound and throughout my ravaged body.
I haven’t heard from any of my friends this summer, just as I requested when I left Hedwig with Nev. Nev protested , of course, and so did Hedwig, but I couldn’t stand to see her getting hurt. Nev finally caved on the train and agreed once he saw the desperation in my eyes. He promised to keep her safe at his place. His gran sent me a strange look on the platform whilst watching this interaction but said nothing. I love his gran, and I knew she would fight for me if she knew she could win. I would have loved it if she tried, but of course, the stupid headmaster would never allow something like that to happen.
Sweet Nev. I wonder how his summer is going, he planned on spending as much time as he could with Luna; after what happened at the ministry, it was easy to see that this war could take anyone in the blink of an eye. He needs true friendship, so does Luna for that matter; such a sweet girl, she fits perfectly into my and Nev’s friendship. She’s a little sister to the both of us, and she understands more about us than any other person ever cares to, seeing as she lost her mum in such a freak accident, and witnessed it herself. The poor soul. She is such a clever witch, and such a sweet soul to be around, it is hard to believe that people would bully her. The only reason I found out was during the time I was questioning her on her creatures so I could understand them better, she told me that her nargles are the girls that bullied her in the dorms. I took it upon myself to help her out, and so did Nev once he realised what was happening.
Poor Siri , he did not deserve to go that way, I wish that I could turn back time and just save him from falling. He was the only person that could have save d me from this prison ; I was so close to being free. Even if he was a convict, he was family , and I should have been able to live with him and not these awful muggles! But in the end, he lost his life to this mindless war, all the while the L ight continues to justify it, saying that it was for the greater good. But what good is it to lose more magical blood when we shouldn’t have had to ? Is the L ight side really all it claims to be ? I honestly don’t think it is . I mean , it keeps its savior all beaten and starved to keep it in control. To o afraid of the power it might have if it was at 100%. They could not say I did not tell them; I remember going to Headmaster Dumbledore begging him to let me stay, telling him of my home life. He just waved it off, but he knew. I was starting to think that they were afraid of things they could not control. I rid myself of those thoughts quickly ; I knew better than to dwell on those dark emotions ; nothing good ever comes from them.
I shift my gaze to the dust covered window. Pushing my bruised and battered body, I sit up so that I could see out. There, just outside, is a world trudging on without me, never realizing that they might lose their precious savior. I wonder what they would think of themselves if they found out how I really lived? Would they care that they had handed the wizarding world over to the Dark Lord on a silver platter? Dumbledore always sits there preaching “for the greater good,” yet he never spends enough time looking to see what really goes on. He is too blinded in his ways to see the state of everyone else around him. But of course, he knew what was happening in this house. I told him, and he just didn’t care as long as he is making money, and his public persona is as loving and reliable as ever; that is all that matters in his mind. As long as he was seen as the next Merlin. That is all he ever wanted.
The Weasley family followed the man’s every word just like a flock of sheep, not that it mattered how often I came to their house sickly looking and hurt, they never said a word, never questioned a single thing. For people that enjoy calling me their “son”, they sure have a funny way of showing it. Believing in Dumbledore’s words, along with being known to always stand next to the Light leader, showing everyone that they were his right-hand helpers in his time of need. It seems that the Weasleys hope the fame and fortune that comes with being a well known family is what will help boost them in the Pureblood circle instead of them being looked down upon. Of course, this does not apply to the twins, Charlie, or Bill: they seem to be the only ones that were ever able to piece things together. They always seemed worried about me, the twins would brew potions when they could, and if they couldn’t do it, Charlie would go out and buy them from the Apothecary. When Bill first saw me, he was mad on my behalf and he took it upon himself to patch me up any time he could. He even spoiled me by sending me gifts, really looking after me as if I was his younger brother or maybe even as a son , but I could never be sure. It seemed they were the only ones looking out for me. No one could see past my face looking like my dad’s and find that I was my own person, nobody could see that I am not the hero everyone has been looking for. I am merely a broken boy, just wanting someone to love me simply for being me. Siri tried but could never quite manage it after his time in Azkaban; Lupin hasn’t even done that much as he’s too afraid of his furry condition to attempt bonding with someone. Snape, I think is the worst, never looking at me and always belittling me, much like my father did to him during his time at Hogwarts. He was just a sad man; maybe we could have had an okay bond if only he could see past his beak of a nose.
It felt like the weight of the world was upon my shoulders with how I have been treated both in the wizarding and the muggle world. I was nothing more than what people expected of me, and it felt like I was not my own person. I was tired of living a lie, tired of being used. I want to live my life for my own p ur pose, and my own selfishness; I am tired of being ruled by others. It seemed that as soon as those thoughts popped into my mind a spell was lifted off me, and with it , brought an unimaginable amount of pain. It took everything I had not to cry out, not to wake my uncle. This pain was much worse than anything my uncle had ever put me through ; it felt like my body was changing and morphing into something new. The last thing I heard was a whisper in my head, a voice that sounded so familiar.
“MINE. ”
Yes, I will belong to this person, and this person will belong to me. I let the darkness consume me, letting it take away the pain and the thoughts that have constantly been circling around in my head. With a smile on my face for the first time since the events that happened in the ministry, I would soon be with the person to whom I belong. Soon I would become who I really am. That night, I dreamt of molten silver and a soft voice sweetly singing to me for the rest of the night.