Chapter Text
Namjoon tapped his pen against his notebook as he stared down at it. He was trying to write a song, but a certain someone was making it really hard for him to concentrate.
It had been a couple of weeks already since Jimin and Taehyung had come out to them, since a picture of a certain couple had stirred up quite conundrum online. Namjoon hadn't been okay with their relationship, he still wasn't, but he had given them his blessings and support. He had always liked Jimin a little more than he should, something he had come to realize when they were still new in the industry.
When they were recording American Hustle Life Namjoon had found himself standing under the night sky with Jimin, watching it light up in in bright colors as fireworks exploded across it. He had told Jimin in front of the camera that he loved him, but at that time he had presented it as a joke. Now Namjoon knew better. What he had felt for Jimin back then had been genuine love, and it wasn’t the kind one would feel towards family or friends. That time, under the fireworks, Namjoon had felt a tingle in the pit of his stomach. He knew instantly that it wasn’t because of the fireworks on their own, but because he had been watching them with Jimin. They had fooled around a little with rapping and singing as they watched the bright colors light up the sky. Jimin had said it felt like his hear was about to burst, and that was exactly what Namjoon was feeling at that moment. It was one of many memories made with Jimin that he kept close to his heart.
A hand went through Namjoon’s newly washed hair where he sat leaned over his worktable writing lyrics. “What’s up?” the owner of the hand softly asked, his voice almost high pitched but at the same time gentle sounding. “Just working on stuff for our comeback,” Namjoon answered as he straightened his back, sitting up straight as he tilted his head back to look up at the boy standing just behind him. “I thought we had all the songs ready?” the boy softly asked and tilted his head a little to the side. “Well yeah, but this is for later down the line. Three albums or so from now,” Namjoon explained. “I was actually thinking you’d sing this song. A solo for Jimin, how about that?” He could see the smile tugging at the corners of the said boy’s lips. “Really hyung?” Namjoon nodded his head slowly, smiling too as he watched the smile on Jimin widening further. “What did you write so far? Is this the song?” Jimin questioned as he leaned over Namjoon to see if he could read the writing in the notebook that laid open on the desk, his arm sliding over the rapper’s shoulders and down his front. Namjoon let out a soft hum in response to Jimin’s question about the scribbles in front of them being the song Jimin would sing. “I haven’t gotten that much done, but I’ll read some of it for you,” Namjoon went on to say, looking up at Jimin to watch him nod his head before picking up the notebook to read what he had gotten so far.
When he was done, Namjoon went on to tell Jimin how it was still far from being finished and that he’d most likely replace so many words and sentences it would turn out completely different. Jimin nodded his head slowly as he listened. “I think you should keep this line though. I like it a lot,” Jimin had said as he pointed at the notebook, reading the line out loud. “You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a masterpiece.” Namjoon nodded his head slowly. He liked that line too, it was quite artistic. “How are you feeling?” Namjoon decided to ask, addressing the elephant in the room. He watched as Jimin sucked his bottom lip into his mouth to nervously chew on it. Jimin’s hands were now placed on top of Namjoon’s shoulders, gripping them gently. “Nervous.” Namjoon closed his eyes for a couple of seconds as he nodded his head. He understood that Jimin was nervous, heck he was nervous too. As much as Namjoon wanted to tell Jimin that it was the right thing to do, he couldn’t. As a leader Namjoon had to put the good of the group before the members and individuals. He was Jimin’s friend so of course he would support him, however, as the leader of BTS he couldn’t. “I wish you guys wouldn’t do it though.” Namjoon spoke after a moment of silence. “I mean, it’s good that you’re in love and all that, but I wish you wouldn’t come out to the world like this.” Jimin was still chewing on his bottom lip when Namjoon finished talking. He got where Namjoon was coming from, Jimin was worried about how it would affect the group as well. And to be quite honest Jimin wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go through with it anymore.
Jimin and Taehyung had been dating for almost three months now. They had kept it a secret up until two weeks ago when pictures of them kissing started to show up online. Jimin and Taehyung had been just like any other normal couple, talking selfies while kissing; and those were the pictures that had been leaked. It turned out that Taehyung’s iCloud had been hacked and that’s how the pictures came out to the public. Because of this the two lovers were forced to confess their relationship not only to their other group members, but also their company. The pictures were still being circulated online, and two days from now the company would hold a press conference where Jimin and Taehyung would confirm their relationship. They had discussed it a lot during the past few weeks, trying to figure out how they would handle the situation. Originally the company had wanted to play if off as a dare, but Taehyung had refused to agree to it. Jimin and Taehyung had even had quite the loud argument over it until they decided that it was better if they just came out. Jimin was however starting to doubt this decision.
Even though the other members had been understanding towards them and not passed judgement, Jimin knew they were worried about the outcome. Jimin wasn’t all that popular among the fans in comparison to the other members, and him dating the most popular one could become quite the issue. Taehyung had a large fanbase and Jimin was worried he’d get a lot of hate for being Taehyung’s boyfriend. Them being gay was one thing, them dating was making things a lot more complicated.
Jimin had had a lot of talks with Namjoon about the matter, the leader was after all his closest friend, aside from Taehyung of course. Namjoon had given him a lot of good advice. One of the things the rapper told him was that it was nobody’s business who Jimin was in a relationship with or that he was in a relationship at all. That was when Jimin had seriously started doubting the decision to come out, which led to yet another argument with Taehyung that went down just yesterday.
“You okay?” Namjoon’s voice tore Jimin from his train of thoughts. “Yeah,” he breathed out and forced a smile. “You fought with Tae again, didn’t you?” Jimin nodded his head. He liked how Namjoon could tell what he was feeling and what had happened without Jimin having to say anything. Sometimes, when he wanted to be strong it was a little annoying, but ultimately, he appreciated it. It just came to show how close they were, and how good a friend Namjoon was. The rapper turned the chair so he was facing the shorter male. “Cheer up Chim, all couples fight,” he told Jimin as he stood up to wrap his arms around the said male, pulling him into a hug. “I know, but it still hurts,” Jimin almost whined as he slipped his arms around Namjoon’s waist to reciprocate the hug. “Want me to go beat him up for you?” Namjoon’s question made Jimin laugh. “I’m serious, just say the word.” Namjoon smiled down at Jimin, his dimples showing. “Thanks, but no thanks. I can beat him up on my own,” Jimin answered with a smile of his own as he tilted his head back to look up at his taller friend.
Their eyes met and for the first time in a long time Jimin felt like everything would be alright. He didn’t quite know what he was doing or why, but Jimin stood up on his toes and pressed his lips at the corner of Namjoon’s. The rapper’s mind went blank at that moment, he tightened his grip on the younger male and turned his head. Their lips met, and Namjoon felt as if he was floating in the sky. Jimin’s lips were so much softer than he had imagined.
At first, Jimin didn’t know what was happening, but after a moment when the realization hit he instantly pushed away from Namjoon. “Namjoon! W-What the hell?!” Jimin exclaimed.
Fuck, Namjoon thought.
Namjoon knew he had fucked up. He knew it the second he had turned his head enough for their lips to meet. Namjoon didn’t even understand why he had made such a stupid move. Jimin didn’t feel the same, it was too late. The short male didn’t seem angry with him, just extremely surprised.
“I’m sorry,” Namjoon quickly apologized and took a step back to make more space between them, and hopefully make Jimin feel safe, not that he thought the younger male was in any way feeling unsafe.
Jimin was surprised to say the least. He hadn’t at all expected Namjoon, out of all people, to kiss him. He was about to scold the elder after that pitiful apology when he noticed that the floor had suddenly become quite interesting for Namjoon. Jimin let his shoulders sink down to a relaxed position and smiled gently at the taller male even though he wasn’t looking at him. He could tell that Namjoon regretted the kiss, but he couldn’t tell if it was out of embarrassment or something else. Jimin wanted to ask why Namjoon had kissed him, but ended up telling the older male that it was okay and that he was forgiven.
“I’m gonna go,” Jimin said after a moment of silence. He had stood there, looking at Namjoon for about five minutes and the entire time the said male had stood frozen, staring down at the floor. Jimin figured Namjoon just needed some time to himself and his thoughts. The short male swallowed down thickly as he reached out to just barely touch Namjoon’s arm, hoping it would make him look at him, which it did. Their gazes met and Jimin could only make out one of the many emotions flickering across Namjoon’s eyes.
Shame.
“Yeah. Um. I should get back to work,” Namjoon said, and just like that their eye contact was broken. Jimin was left looking at the tall rapper’s back. “Okay.” Jimin left the room after that, going into the room he was currently sharing with his boyfriend.