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He calls again.
This is possibly the hundredth time Kon’s called, but he just wants to hear his voice one more time. He’s in Clark’s house, in the guest’s room—he invited him to stay after he broke the news, told him that he was here for him, that he could ask for whatever he needed and he’d try to provide. But right now, what Kon wants cannot be brought.
God, this feels awful. It’s like someone’s scrunching him, sucking the life out of him. He brings the phone closer to his ear, hears the beep, beep, beep until Tim’s voice speaks, “Hi, this is Tim Drake. I’m not here now, but leave your message and I’ll call you as soon as I can.” The phone beeps again, and Kon is left alone all over again.
He closes his eyes, covers his face with his hands, the phone forgotten. This wasn’t supposed to happen again. Kon remembers that time when Tim pretended to be dead and chuckles—he was seeing him on TV when someone shot him, and not even a second later Kon was flying to Gotham when Cassie called him and told him that Tim was fine, that it’d been Miss Martian pretending to be Tim to make some journalist stop believing Tim was Red Robin.
And Kon also remembers that night. He stayed in Gotham, went to talk to Tim, told him to never do that again. He remembers screaming at him while Tim just stood there, smiling and telling him that he was okay, that he was perfectly fine, and then his lips where against Kon’s and it was really fine and…
Kon picks up the phone and calls again.
“Hi, this is Tim Drake. I’m not here now, but leave your message and I’ll call you as soon as I can.” Beep.
Kon feels tears prickling in his eyes, his throat burning, and he says, “I miss you.” Yeah, he misses Tim. Misses when they were Titans and Kon would wake up at four a.m. because Tim was making coffee because he had to stay awake to finish some paper. Misses when they were kissing and Bart would enter the room without knocking and then teased them about it for weeks, or when he found Tim dozing off and fetched a blanket for him and Tim told him I love you for the first time. When they would hold hands when walking on the street or kiss. Kon misses hearing Tim talk about his family and he misses talking about his with Tim.
He even misses the bad moments—when one of them would get hurt on a mission and the other had to take care, the fights and the times when they thought this was going nowhere. Kon misses everything, and he doesn’t think he’s ever going to stop missing Tim.
“I miss you so much,” he says, even though he knows no one is going to hear it. Even though he knows Tim’s not going to hear it.
Why did he have to do it? Why did he have to be the brave one? Why him? Everything was great—he was going to go to university, stop being a vigilante. And then they were going to be together and happy and why did it have to end so quickly?
“Come back,” he says. And then he screams, and throws the phone against the wall and goddammit, why him why him why him.
Someone knocks on the door, and Kon doesn’t have time to even say go away when Cassie opens it and enters. She stops walking when she sees him, and Kon wipes the tears away from his face, though more come. He tries to stop sobbing, to compose himself, because it’s been almost a month and he’s supposed to be fine now.
“Kon…” Cassie mutters, biting her lip. She climbs the bed and sits beside him, hugs him. She doesn’t say anything, and Kon can’t help but sob harder. He closes his eyes and feels Cassie cup his face, kiss him on the cheek. “It’s okay,” she whispers, leaning on him, and he can tell that she’s crying too. “It’s gonna be okay.” She sniffs. Kon wraps his arms around her. “It has to be okay.”
Two months later.
“Cassie called,” Bart says, hitting Kon in the shoulder to call for his attention, “She said she had some news, but that she wanted to tell us in person. What do you think it is? Ooh, do you think she’s got a boyfriend? A girlfriend?”
Kon chuckles. “Maybe she’s just moving to, I don’t know, Gotham?”
“Cassie? Nah. I don’t think so.” He takes a sip of his smoothie, chokes, and gasps. “Oh my god, what if she is? You don’t think she’s going to, right?”
“Nope.”
“It’s not like it’s a big deal, because I can be in Gotham in, like, four seconds. But still. Wait, have I told you about Avery?” Kon shakes his head. “She’s this new speedster I—”
“Wait a sec,” Kon says, because his phone is ringing. He picks it up from his pocket and answers without looking who’s calling. “What’s up?”
“I’ve missed you too, Kon.”