Chapter Text
After a rough day, all she needed was someone to talk to.
She went to his apartment, hoping that he would be there for her, as he had promised.
Some seconds after she had knocked, a smiling Kurt opened the door.
- Hey, she said, her eyes full of tears.
- Hey…
- It’s been a terrible day, and I wanted to… Suddenly interrupted by a familiar laugh, Tasha looked behind her friend. She saw four glasses on the table, and around it Patterson, Reade and Jane were laughing.
- Tasha, it’s not what you think, Kurt tried to explain.
She felt like her heart had just broke. She tried hard not to cry in front of him, but it was hurting.
- Oh no ? So, it’s not my friends, drinking and laughing in your apartment ?
- We wanted to…
- To invite me ? But what ? I’m such a monster that you finally decided not to ?
- No Tasha, nobody thinks that of you. It’s just that you were already gone when we decided to come here and …
- Please Kurt, don’t try to find an excuse ! You obviously don’t want me here ! The brunette said, leaving the corridor.
- Wait, Tasha, come in, it’ll be fun ! Kurt answered, trying to keep her from leaving.
- Kurt, you didn’t wanted me when you planned this. So… Don’t act like you want me now ! She struggled to keep back her tears.
- Zapata… He tried, but she was already gone.
She walked for hours, alone.
She finally sat by the Hudson. The Agent started to cry as she reminded everyone she had lost.
First of all she had no family, because after her coward father had left them, she ran away from her alcoholic mother and now she had no more relation with her brothers.
Then, she tried to replace this chaotic family by her work and colleagues. But Ricky died, then Andy and she finally left the police. Once more she ran away from pain, sadness, but once again it only strengthen those feelings.
After all happened in her life and even if she was kind of destroy, she thought she had found a family. She had loved them so much, but once again, she had destroyed everything.
What type of friend was she ? She thought.
She had lied to her best friend, making the whole team angry at her, she admitted her engaged best friend she was in love with him, making their relation uncomfortable.
Now, she needed to be saved, but Kurt was letting her fall… Fall… Fall… What if she fell into the water ?
What if she walked into the deep black water ?
What if she decided to stop everything tonight ?
The idea stayed in her mind for a while.
No, she could not run away, not this time… But … After all… No, she could not do that.
She needed them… But they hated her…
She didn’t want to leave… But wherefore would she stay ? They had proved they didn’t want her anymore…
No ! She had to be strong !
But she knew that without her team, she was weak…
BUZZ BUZZ…
Returning to the reality, she took her phone and saw many messages :
9.05 Pm : Kurt Weller: Please come back.
9.08 Pm : Kurt Weller: Tasha, we didn’t want to exclude you…
10.13 Pm : You have three missed calls from « Kurt Weller ».
10.17 Pm : Edgar: Tash ?
10.18 PM : Edgar: Where are you ?
10.24 Pm : You have five missed calls from « Kurt Weller » ; « Edgar » and « Jane D ».
10.25 Pm : Kurt Weller: Can you answer ?!
10.32 Pm : Edgar: Tasha answer, please, we are worried…
10.35 Pm : Jane D : Hey Tasha, just wanted to know if you were ok ?
10.36 Pm : Edgar : Damn it Zapata ! Don’t make me ask Patterson to trace your mobile phone !
10.40 Pm : You have two missed calls from « Edgar ».
10.41 Pm : Edgar : Tasha ! Pick up this damn phone !!
10.43 Pm : You have three missed calls from « Edgar ».
10.44 Pm : Edgar : Tasha we are WORRIED ! Can you stop being a kid and just answer ! A « ok » would be enough.
10.47 Pm : Patterson : Zapata ?
- 54 Pm : Jane D : Tasha the boys are totally freaking (we all) … Can you call us back please ?
She looked again at the screen, it was 11.03 now and she didn’t want to answer. They just feel guilty, she thought.
She pictured them laughing around the table, and she felt even more alone…
After a while she remembered the last time she had felt that lonely. The only thing which permitted her to be better was risk.
She knew exactly where to go…
It was like she could breath again. The ambient tension, the tokens, the cards’ friction, were all she needed.
After some games, she sat at the bar and ordered some drinks.
She didn’t notice the three men who were staring at her. When one of them got closer, she remembered that, years ago, she had lost a lot of money. The brunette understood that she was not welcome.
The man stared at her for a minute, then he finally talked :
- I wasn’t expecting you here miss, it’s been a while…
- Me neither… I just needed to… Tasha stuttered.
- What you need is none of my business ! I only care about what I need, and what I need is my money back…
- I’m sorry but, I can’t pay you sir. I haven’t won a lot today and… She knew what men like him could do to defaulters and was terrified.
The man looked at her, a wild light in his eyes. He took the time to caress her cheek and finally said :
- Don’t worry, sweetheart, you don’t have to pay with money…
He put a hungry smile on his perverted face, which made Tasha shuddered.
She remembered that no one could save her, and all she wanted was to die. In a desperate desire of escaping to the reality, she followed him throughout the bar and finally arrived in a dark alley.
As soon as they were alone, the man started to beat her, to touch her, to kiss her… He whispered :
- I love mexican puta.
As he took over her pant, Tasha started to cry. At the beginning she managed to stay silent, but the more he was invading her intimacy, the less she could retain the tears.
- Shut up ! He said, beating her stomach.
The brunette screamed as he beat her.
- I said callate la boca, a puta can’t complain. Shut up, SHUT UP, the man covered her mouth with one of his hands. I want you to shut up your fucking mouth, unless you want me to cut your tongue !
Tasha struggled to retain a sob as the man bit and sucked her neck.
This man was disgusting and she knew she could win the fight, but not tonight… Tonight she wanted to lose, after that she would have nothing to keep her alive. Tonight she would not move.
As he started to take off their clothes, the man was pulled to the ground by a fast shadow. Tasha didn’t know what it was but the shadow was followed by others. The brunette could not stop trembling, even if one of these shadows tried to comfort her.
And suddenly all became black.