Chapter Text
Stiles woke up feeling a little tender in all the right places, he stretched slightly, feeling a smile on his lips as he recalled the events of last night. He knew that Derek and he had been getting closer for a while, that Derek had been the driving force behind keeping Stiles alive until they found a way to remove the nogitsune. Stiles had figured that the fact werewolves existed and that his best friend had been bitten and now went furry whenever he got too emotional was going to be the worst thing he’d ever had to deal with. But, no, as soon as the existence of werewolves came to Stiles’ attention so did the knowledge of hunters, of kanimas, Darachs and Alpha packs, and then, when it couldn’t possibly have gotten any worse Stiles had been possessed by the nogitsune and nearly lost his mind along with his life.
Stiles had been feeling pretty low since they’d managed to free him from the demon, Allison had nearly died and the instant they found out she was going to live, Scott had declared his love for her and they’d decided to give their relationship another go. Isaac and Kira were both upset about that, and Stiles didn’t blame them, but, they were getting over it, or so Erica told him. Stiles didn’t really know what was going on with the pack if he was honest, Scott hadn’t spoken to him since he’d got back together with Allison, he didn’t think it was malicious, he didn’t think Scott had fallen out with him although a larger part than he’d like to admit believed that Scott blamed Stiles for not being able to fight off the nogitsune, but, mainly he wanted to believe that Scott was just wrapped up in his relationship again, and, Stiles, well, he really needed friends around him right now. He needed to close his eyes at night and know he would wake up in the morning in the same place, without blood on his hands, in control of his own actions.
Erica had been the only one who’d really bothered with him, Boyd was in training to be second in command to the pack and Derek had him doing a lot of drills and stuff so Erica quite often found herself bored so she’d come and see Stiles. Stiles wasn’t sure if she hung out with him because of pity or boredom or some kind of twisted friendship that was formed somewhere between Stiles protecting her and Boyd from Gerard and then rescuing them from the Alpha pack along with Cora, the long-lost sister that Derek had believed was dead for the past six years.
Stiles was grateful for Erica’s company, he appreciated that she never mentioned that he looked like shit when he hadn’t been able to sleep, and never commented on the way his hands shook slightly when he didn’t remember doing something simple, like walking from the kitchen into the living room, he knew he must have done it, but, he couldn’t remember doing it and it took him a few minutes to convince himself that he was awake, that he was free, that the nogitsune was gone and was never coming back.
Sometimes they left the house, Stiles always blinking in the bright sunlight, wondering how long it had been since the last time he’d gone out, he knew he wasn’t functioning properly, that he needed to pull himself out of this mess, to get up, fight, carry on, but, he didn’t know how. Now his dad was in the know, Stiles thought it would be easier, he wouldn’t have to lie as much, and, it was, he didn’t have to lie to him about whatever was threatening the town this time, but, he was still lying to him about how he was doing, he just couldn’t stand to see his dad looking at him with worry, Stiles had to pretend he was fine for his sake and it was exhausting.
When Lydia had called Erica explaining there was a pack meeting at the loft, Stiles had hesitated, he wasn’t sure he was welcome, after all, he wasn’t a wolf, and, more importantly, he was the reason members of the pack had nearly died, they wouldn’t want him there, it was only Erica rolling her eyes, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the jeep that made sure that Stiles went to the loft. He stared around at the people gathered in the room, Kira and Isaac sat on one sofa, both pointedly looking anywhere but at Scott and Allison who were sat on one of the chairs, Allison sat on Scott’s knee, obviously aware of how upsetting it was for Isaac and Kira as she resolutely refused to return Scott’s affections, Scott seemed to be oblivious to that, burying his nose in Allison’s neck and seemingly he hadn’t even noticed Stiles and Erica’s arrival.
Lydia was sitting on one of the other sofas between Malia, who was playing with Cora’s hair, and Peter, she was texting, no doubt it was Jackson, he’d gotten in touch a few weeks ago apparently, telling her all about his life in London and the fact he was now part of a different pack and they’d been texting none stop since. Erica rushed forward, pulling Boyd into a hug and grinning widely before she turned to look at the rest of the pack, Derek rolled his eyes at her and she smirked at him before she dragged Boyd to a seat on the last sofa, shuffling along enough that Stiles could squeeze on there with them.
Stiles wasn’t sure they even noticed he was there, Scott didn’t even look away from Allison the entire meeting and he tried not to feel hurt by that, he didn’t want to be selfish, but, he needed his friend right now, he needed his best friend, and Scott didn’t seem to care about Stiles and that really fucking hurt.
It turned out Derek had called the pack together because he’d had a run in with a kelpie while out for a run in the preserve earlier, it had tried to drown him before he managed to escape and they needed to take care of it before it hurt anyone else.
“Does anyone know anything about kelpies?” Derek asked the room at large and everyone looked at him blankly.
“They’re water horses, they can shift to human form though, but supposedly they keep their hooves in human form. They’re supposed to be really beautiful but if you touch them, you get like, stuck to them, and they drag you back into the water to drown you.” Stiles explained, ignoring the incredulous looks everyone shot him, he’d had a lot of free time in the weeks since the nogitsune had been destroyed and he’d always had a hard time shutting his brain off to sleep, now it was even harder, so of course he’d spent plenty of time researching any mythical creature that took his fancy.
“Do you know how to kill them?” Peter asked with an arched eyebrow and Stiles shrugged.
“The lore says that if you can put a bridle on it you can basically control it, like you could order it to leave, or never exit the water again, or, if it already has a bridle, you can do some sort of exorcism, and, then, there’s the go to favourite of shooting it with silver, but, I don’t know how accurate that is.” Stiles replied.
“It didn’t have any bridle or anything.” Derek replied and Stiles nodded, oblivious to the way the older werewolf was looking at him with awe and worry. Derek was worried about Stiles, had been worried about him since they’d found out he’d been possessed, but, he’d kept his distance, knowing that Stiles would need time to recover from everything, instead, he looked to be getting worse, he was pale and looked thinner than the last time Derek had seen him, Derek wondered vaguely if he was eating, he had told Erica to make sure that Stiles was looking after himself, but, it didn’t look like he was.
He hadn’t wanted to admit his attraction to the seventeen-year-old, not that Cora didn’t tease him mercilessly about it anyway, but, he felt like it should feel wrong, he didn’t want to be like Kate, taking advantage of a minor, not to mention the fact that everyone Derek cared about tended to wind up dead. He was terrified of something happening to Stiles, and, nearly losing him to the nogitsune had only confirmed that fact for him, Stiles should be kept out of things, he should be kept away from the pack, kept safe. He hadn’t expected Erica to bring Stiles to the meeting, it was why he’d asked Lydia to call Erica not Stiles, but, he couldn’t help but be grateful that Stiles was here and able to offer them the information they needed.
“I’ve still got some silver arrows left?” Allison offered and Derek nodded.
“Alright, you fetch them, I’ll get us a bridle and then we can head out and find this thing.” Stiles said helpfully and Derek wanted to hug him, hold him, tell him it was all going to be okay, but, he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t be with Stiles, not if he wanted to keep him safe.
He was going to argue that Stiles shouldn’t come out with them but Stiles had left to fetch the bridle before Derek could even open his mouth, they’d agreed to meet in the preserve and Derek was going to tell Stiles that he could go home as soon as he had given them the bridle, except, when they got there, Stiles’ jeep was already there and he was nowhere in sight, the passenger door flung open in haste and Stiles’ running footprints disappearing into the preserve.
“Stiles!?” He called out in annoyance and worry, why couldn’t he just do what Derek told him to do? He spotted hoofprints around the driver’s door and could picture vividly what had happened, Stiles had pulled up, waited in the jeep as agreed, the kelpie had come towards him and he’d run off in the other direction, he growled protectively, if this kelpie hurt Stiles he would tear it limb from limb. He raced off after Stiles’ footprints, the rest of the pack figuring out what had happened and hurrying after him.
He heard a startled yelp and then a splash from a few hundred meters ahead and pushed himself to run faster, to get to Stiles before something awful happened. There was a river that cut through the preserve not far away from them and Derek ran there, staring at the water in panic, there was no sign of Stiles, no sign of the kelpie, where the hell were they? He called out for Stiles again, not knowing what was going on when suddenly Stiles’ head broke the surface at the side of the river, Derek rushed forward, pulling Stiles half-way out of the water and examining him for injuries.
“Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?” Derek quizzed as Stiles coughed and spluttered for breath before pulling his hand the rest of the way out of the river and showing the bridle he held. The pack watched in awe as the kelpie left the river, a large, black, beautiful horse standing on the bank and staring at Stiles patiently. “What did you do!?” Derek said in sheer relief and awe, Stiles was safe and the kelpie was restrained.
“I don’t know.” Stiles shrugged, coughing slightly still and shivering through his wet clothes, Derek took off his jacket and put it around Stiles’ shoulders, hoping to stop him getting any colder.
“Is it going to attack us?” Lydia asked and Stiles shook his head.
“I don’t think so.” He replied.
“So, do we kill it?” Cora queried.
“I don’t think we need to. I just, I need to word it correctly, but, we can banish it into the water, it won’t be able to attack anyone, but, we don’t need to kill it.” Stiles said through chattering teeth.
“Alright, well, do it then.” Peter said impatiently, staring at the kelpie nervously and Stiles nodded rapidly, looking nervous as he cleared his throat.
“Okay, sure, right, kelpie,” Stiles tugged on the bridle slightly, “I command you to return to the water, to never leave it again, you are to never kill or cause hurt to another human being for the rest of your existence.” Stiles said firmly and the kelpie nodded once before diving back into the river and disappearing into its depths. “Wow, I kind of didn’t expect that to work.” Stiles shivered and Derek pulled him to his feet and started steering him away from the river, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close in an attempt to warm him up.
“Everyone go home, hunt’s over.” Derek growled and everyone seemed to roll their eyes in unison before moving off to their own vehicles, “Not you.” Derek snapped, tightening his grip on Stiles’ shoulder slightly when the younger man tried to move towards his own vehicle, “You’re practically hypothermic, I’m not letting you out of my sight until I know you’re going to be okay.” He said, pushing Stiles towards his own car, “Cora, Peter, can you bring Stiles’ jeep to the loft?” He asked and Cora nodded, snatching the keys from Stiles’ pocket when his hands were shaking too badly to grab them himself.
Derek turned the heating up full, trying to ignore the chattering of Stiles’ teeth in the silence of the car, trying not to freak out completely, relieved when Stiles’ tremors seemed to reduce slightly by the time they got back to the loft. He manhandled Stiles up the stairs, a little worried by how little Stiles was protesting, before he pushed him up the stairs to his bedroom and through the bathroom door.
“Get in the shower, I’ll get you some warm clothes.” Derek said, turning his back on Stiles and going back into his bedroom, pulling the door slightly closed but not shutting it all the way, needing to know he could get to Stiles easily if necessary. He knew he was being overly protective, but, his wolf’s desire to protect Stiles was overwhelming, they could have lost him tonight, all because Derek hadn’t protected him as he should have done. He listened to the beating of Stiles’ heart, the only thing that could calm him right now, listened as his wet clothes hit the floor with a thud and the shower turned on, listened to the spike in his heart beat as the hot water hit his skin and he let out a groan of relief.
Derek wasn’t aware that he’d lost track of time until he heard the shower shut off and then Stiles’ uncertain footsteps coming from the bathroom towards the bedroom.
“Derek?” Stiles asked nervously, wondering if the Alpha was okay, Derek was standing in the middle of his bedroom, his back to Stiles, a handful of clothes clutched tightly in his hands. “You okay?” He asked.
“Yeah.” Derek said, snapping out of his trance and turning to look at Stiles, freezing because he hadn’t thought about what Stiles would look like in a towel, he’d wrapped it around his waist and there were still a few droplets of water running down his chest, Derek knew he was staring, but, god, Stiles was beautiful.
“Derek?” Stiles queried, wondering why Derek was staring at him in something that looked like hunger, before he could say anything Derek was striding forwards, dropping the clothes as he moved and cupping Stiles’ jaw, pressing his lips against Stiles’, kissing him desperately, as he had wanted to for so long.
Stiles went still against him for the briefest moment before he was kissing him back just as hungrily, just as desperately, their tongues colliding with glee as they kissed. Derek’s hands moved, running over Stiles’ still slightly damp skin, down his back, around his waist, brushing the fabric of the towel that was barely staying in place.
“Jesus.” Stiles muttered when Derek moved his mouth from Stiles’, planting kisses along his jaw and down his neck, sucking on the soft skin over his pulse point and growling in approval when Stiles gasped and arched towards him, his hands resting on Derek’s waist a little uncertainly. Derek decided that he had way too many clothes on, but, taking them off would mean breaking contact with Stiles and he really didn’t want to do that, he wanted to get closer, wanted to feel skin on skin, wanted to bring Stiles to his climax and watch as he shuddered his way through it. His hands went to Stiles’ ass, picking him up easily, Stiles wrapping his legs around Derek’s hips as the towel slipped slightly, kissing passionately as Derek carried him to the bed.
To say Stiles was surprised by the sudden turn of events would be the understatement of the century, he was happy with it, no doubt about that, but, it was definitely unexpected. He’d always been attracted to Derek, who in their right mind wouldn’t be? He was gorgeous, tall, dark, handsome, beautiful green eyes that Stiles had found himself drowning in several times and a smile that could make your heart miss a beat. But, he hadn’t realised he was falling in love with the man until it was much too late to do anything about it. He’d watched as Derek struggled to build a pack, and, then, done his best to protect them, he didn’t care about his own safety, he proved that time and time again, instead he put the safety of his pack ahead of his own every single time. He’d seen when Derek struggled with his own guilt and hardships but pushed through every single time, because he wasn’t a quitter, Stiles loved that about him, he loved Derek’s strength, he loved that the man had a huge heart and that no matter how hard he tried to hide it, he was never capable of doing so.
So, yeah, Stiles was in love with him, had been for a while if he was being completely honest, but, he’d never imagined that Derek would feel anything towards him, never thought that Derek would want to kiss him, touch him, be with him, but, Stiles wasn’t an idiot, he wasn’t going to complain, not when Derek was looking at him like he wanted to devour him, Stiles was more than happy to let him do it and then Stiles would return the favour, several times over if Derek wanted to.
Stiles was pretty sure he forgot how to speak when Derek dropped him on the bed and then proceeded to pull his own clothes off as quickly as he could. It wasn’t that Stiles hadn’t seen Derek naked before, he had, it was one of the perks of running around with werewolves who were all allergic to clothing ninety percent of the time, it was just weird to see all that nakedness directed at him. He shook his head, as if unable to believe his luck before Derek practically pounced on top of him and started kissing him again, laughing when Derek moved to his neck again, giving him another hickey on the other side.
“Dude I’m going to have to wear a scarf tomorrow if you keep this up.” Stiles laughed in bemusement and Derek sucked a little harder, Stiles’ back arched off the bed as he gasped in pleasure, Derek smirking into his neck, loving Stiles’ response to his affections, wanting to pleasure him over and over until Stiles would never be able to forget it.
“I’m counting on it.” Derek replied teasingly, sucking another mark by Stiles’ collarbone and Stiles practically shuddered underneath him, Derek ran his hand down Stiles’ chest, towards the towel that was barely staying in place, “Can I?” He asked and Stiles nodded eagerly.
“Yeah, yes please.” He replied and Derek chuckled slightly when Stiles’ fingers went to the towel pulling it off completely.
Derek smiled, running his fingertips along Stiles’ thigh while his lips kissed the moles that adorned his chest, Stiles letting out little gasps of pleasure at the action that had Derek shaking with pleasure, he couldn’t wait to hear what sounds Stiles would make later, when he’d spent his time making this the most pleasurable experience it could possibly ever be.
“Der, Jesus, fuck…” Stiles panted in pleasure when Derek kissed his way down Stiles’ chest and then took his hard cock gently into his mouth, “Oh god, fuck me.” Stiles cursed and Derek smirked.
“Since you asked so nicely.” He replied jokingly and Stiles stared at him in shock for a moment before he grinned widely.
“Did you just make a joke…god!” Stiles laughed, his voice fading into a groan when Derek sucked hard on his cock and Stiles’ fists clenched in the sheets. “Fuck! Derek!” Stiles gasped a few minutes later when Derek twisted his tongue slightly and Stiles arched up off the bed in pleasure. Derek carried on licking and sucking, reaching under his bed to grab the lube that he had stashed under there, usually for his own pleasure – fantasies that always involved Stiles - squirting a little onto his fingers before looking up at Stiles questioningly, “Yes, yes please.” Stiles begged and Derek grinned, returning to licking Stiles’ cock while he moved a finger to Stiles’ tight hole and began working him openly slowly, Stiles panting desperately, as Derek continued to open him up.
“You’re sure?” He growled, barely able to keep his wolf under control at how goddamn amazing this felt already, Stiles nodded quickly, blushing slightly but nodding in determination.
“If you are?” He asked and Derek grinned, moving back up Stiles’ body in order to kiss him softly, sweetly, he wanted this to be enjoyable for Stiles, he knew it was his first time, knew that he should probably be taking more time than he was doing, but, god, he wanted this, he wanted it so badly he could barely think straight, he was only keeping his wolf under control through sheer force of will, there was no way he was stopping now, not if Stiles wanted it too.
He moved cautiously, not wanting to hurt Stiles no matter how much as a rush he was in, he inched in slowly, watching Stiles’ face for any sign on discomfort, instead finding himself falling even more in love with him as he watched the emotions flash across his face, Stiles was so fucking beautiful, he kissed him again, softly, sweetly, unable to believe that Stiles had wanted this too, it was, it was perfect, it felt even more incredible than he’d imagined it would. When he bottomed out he had to take a minute, taking a slightly shaky breath as he tried to get himself under control, Stiles kissing his neck innocently and muttering about how good it felt.
“Derek, god, fuck, oh my god.” Stiles panted and Derek echoed that sentiment entirely, he felt like his entire brain had short-circuited and he hadn’t even moved yet. He moved the slightest bit, just to see how much he was going to struggle for control and Stiles let out another groan of pleasure.
“Stiles.” Derek gasped when he thrust experimentally and his vision went red.
“Fuck, that’s really hot.” Stiles muttered, staring at Derek’s eyes for a second before they faded back to their normal green. “Still hot.” He added and Derek grinned, shaking his head in bemusement before he thrust forwards again and Stiles threw his head back with pleasure, wrapping his legs around Derek’s ass and pulling him closer, his hands running along his back and leaving the faintest nail marks that had already faded by the time Stiles moved his hands.
“Jesus, Stiles.” Derek panted, aware of how close to the edge he was and not just of losing control of his wolf, but, also how close he was to cumming, he’d wanted to last longer, make this pleasurable and memorable for Stiles, but, instead, it was going to be over way too quickly if he didn’t get control of himself, “God you feel so good.” He muttered into Stiles’ neck, inhaling his scent as he sucked another hickey into his pale skin. “Need to slow down.” He whispered, his vision going red and staying that way as he continued thrusting into Stiles, his actions not reflecting his words at all.
“No, don’t, don’t stop, please, I’m so close, fuck, I’m so close Derek.” Stiles pleaded and those words were enough for Derek to lose any control he had, hearing Stiles panting with pleasure, hearing him saying Derek’s name, his imagination had never done this justice, he moved faster, harder, thrusting deeper as his wolf howled with pleasure that they were finally claiming their mate. “Fuck, Derek, god, please, I’m going to, Christ, Der, please.” Stiles begged. He wasn’t sure what he was begging for, wasn’t sure what he wanted, he just, god, he was so close, and every thrust seemed to be hitting just the right spot and Stiles was going to cum pathetically quickly, but, Christ, it was good, it was so goddamn good, “Shit, Der, shit, fuck, Derek.” Stiles said, trying to warn him but not able to concentrate enough to get his words out clearly as his orgasm started to rip through him.
Derek felt it the instant Stiles’ muscles tightened, felt his orgasm start and the last word on his lips had been Derek’s name, it was enough to send Derek howling over the edge, trembling as the most powerful orgasm he’d ever felt ripped through his body, sending him shuddering over the edge and crying out Stiles’ name.
They slipped into sleep not long afterwards, Derek kissing Stiles gently, softly and sweetly until the younger man drifted into sleep.
Stiles woke up feeling a little tender in all the right places, he’d never expected last night to happen, but, god, did it feel amazing, he couldn’t wait for a repeat. He opened his eyes slowly, stretching out and wincing just the slightest bit before realising that the bed next to him was empty.
“Derek?” He called out in confusion, climbing out of the bed and pulling on the clothes that Derek had been going to give to him before they’d gotten distracted. He wandered out of the bedroom and down the stairs, spotting Derek leaning against the kitchen counter with his back to Stiles, a mug of coffee in front of him, he looked tense but Stiles figured he’d probably be able to get rid of that tension pretty easily. “Hey.” He said in greeting, knowing the werewolf would have heard him coming and wondering why he hadn’t already turned around.
“Hi.” Derek grunted in reply, still staring at his coffee like it held the answers to the universe.
“So, um, that was fun, last night, with the, you know, like, I enjoyed myself and, um, maybe, maybe we could do it again sometime? But, maybe, maybe we could go on a date or something too? Like I’ll buy you a coffee or go watch a film or something?” Stiles rambled, feeling suddenly nervous and uncertain when Derek still didn’t turn around.
“No.” Derek replied.
“Oh, right, like, no to the date? Or no to the repeat performance?” Stiles asked feeling slightly nauseous.
“No to all of it.” Derek growled and Stiles nodded numbly.
“Right, okay, sure, just, I thought, you seemed to, did you not want to…” Stiles’ voice trailed off when Derek turned to look at him. The Alpha’s eyes were glowing red and he looked angry, like he was ready to tear Stiles’ throat out.
“Last night was a mistake.” Derek snarled and Stiles felt like he’d been punched in the chest, like someone had grabbed hold of his heart and was currently crushing it in their fist, “You were just here, that’s all, it wasn’t anything special and it didn’t mean anything, just a way to blow off steam. It would have happened with whoever was here at the time, Isaac or Kira or Lydia, you were just here.” Derek spat angrily and Stiles swallowed loudly, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes because of course it meant nothing to Derek, why would it have done? Stiles was an idiot.
“Sure, yeah, that, that makes sense.” He nodded in agreement, refusing to even look at Derek, instead staring at the floor, knowing if he saw the hatred on the man’s face right now he would dissolve into tears and he already felt pathetic enough, crying at Derek would not help matters. “So, do we just pretend nothing happened? I mean, at the next pack meeting or whatever?” He said, proud of how steady his voice sounded.
“You won’t be here. Erica shouldn’t have brought you to the one last night. You aren’t pack Stiles. You’re a liability. I don’t want you here.” Derek snapped and Stiles felt like any breath he had left had been knocked clean out of him.
“Right, sure. I’m just going to…” He trailed off, already grabbing his keys from the side and moving towards the door, not looking up from the ground and practically running from the loft, he’d been such an idiot, how could he have thought Derek cared about him? Last night was a mistake. An adrenaline rush or whatever, it sure as hell wasn’t because Derek cared about him or loved him, Stiles was an idiot for believing it could have been. The words ringing in his ears, that it could have been anyone, would have been anyone, Stiles was just convenient, well, that wouldn’t be an issue, Stiles wouldn’t be around the pack anymore because Stiles wasn’t pack. God, he was such an idiot. How could he have believed that Derek could ever be attracted to him? Would want to be with him? Stiles wasn’t anything special to look at, and, since the nogitsune, he looked paler and thinner than usual and god, he was such a fucking idiot.
Peter had heard the whole thing from his room, thankfully Cora and Isaac had left early that morning, they’d all arrived home last night, Peter dropping Stiles’ keys on the counter, they could smell their Alpha’s protectiveness, that his wolf was pissed that they hadn’t protected Stiles as well as they should have done, despite the fact that Stiles was fine. Peter suggested the three of them go out for some food and, by the time they returned, it was blatantly obvious by scent alone, that Derek had finally given in to his desires, although, again thankfully, Derek and Stiles were both fast asleep as the three of them headed to their own rooms.
Peter stepped into the kitchen as soon as he heard Stiles leave through the loft door and shook his head at Derek who was shaking as he picked up his mug of coffee.
“Such lies nephew.” He tutted and Derek snarled at him, Peter only smirked in reply, “Please, I’d love to hear your real reasons for kicking him out, because, we both know it wouldn’t have just happened with anyone and that Stiles is the only pack you’ve ever wanted since becoming Alpha, so, why throw him out like that? He would be a good mate for you.”
“Shut up Peter.” Derek growled, his hand clenching around the cup until it smashed in his grip. Derek had woken up feeling so happy that it was almost beyond belief, Stiles was sleeping peacefully in his arms, Derek brushed his fingers over the marks on Stiles’ neck and collarbones, the ones that stood out so starkly against his pale skin and Derek was proud, so fucking proud, because he’d marked his mate, Stiles was theirs and everyone would know now. He planned on making Stiles breakfast in bed, padding over to the drawers and pulling out a pair of joggers, grabbing at the piece of paper that fluttered to the floor and freezing when he saw what it was. The last photograph he had of his family, before the fire, before Laura was killed, before he lost them all.
He stared at it for a few moments before his eyes drifted to the pile of wet clothes in the bathroom, and then to Stiles still sleeping peacefully in the bed. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t keep putting Stiles in danger and he would be in danger by being with Derek, there was no doubt about it. He had to protect him, it was in his best interests. His wolf practically howled at the thought of pushing Stiles away but Derek knew it was for the best, Stiles would be safer away from him, he moved to the bed, sitting down next to Stiles, trailing his fingers gently through his hair and down his back, giving him one final kiss on the forehead.
“I’m sorry Stiles.” He whispered, knowing Stiles was stubborn, that if Derek didn’t hurt him, push him away, then Stiles wouldn’t give up, he was going to have to be cruel and it was going to damn near kill him to do it. He took a quick picture of the sleeping Stiles, knowing it was going to be the only one he’d ever get, knowing he had no right to it, not with what he was about to do, and then headed downstairs to make himself some coffee.
When Stiles stumbled down the stairs half an hour later Derek had prepared himself, he planned on sitting down and telling Stiles gently that it was a mistake, that it shouldn’t have happened and wouldn’t be happening again, except, then Stiles caught him by surprise, asking him out on a date and god, Derek wanted to, he wanted to so badly, he was fighting his wolf harder than he’d ever fought before because they had to protect him and Stiles would only be in danger if they were involved.
When he turned around, when he saw his marks still on display on Stiles’ neck it went against everything he felt to tell him that it was nothing special, that it would have happened with whomever was here. He knew the risks by saying that, that Stiles could tell his dad what had happened and Noah could decide to arrest Derek for statutory rape, Derek didn’t care about that, hell, he thought he deserved that. He’d taken advantage of Stiles when he was still in shock from the kelpie attack and when he was vulnerable, still recovering from the nogitsune possession, plus, he was only seventeen, Derek deserved to go to prison for doing anything with Stiles, he should have never given into his desire, he should have fought harder, he should have protected Stiles, not done this, god, he was a horrible person, how could he ever deserve to be with someone as perfect as Stiles?
He could smell the hurt wafting from Stiles and he wanted that to be an end to it, thought that would have ended this thing before it had a chance to go any further, that Stiles would be safe away from them, except, then he’d said about the next pack meeting and Derek couldn’t have him here, couldn’t have him danger, not after what happened last night, Stiles had nearly died, could have died, they needed him safe, so, he’d said the only thing he could, that Stiles wasn’t pack. It felt like he was ripping his own heart out with those words, he couldn’t even bear to imagine what it was doing to Stiles, but, it was for his own good. He’d be safe. He’d be better off without Derek in his life.
“All I’m saying is that I heard the lie in your words clear as day. I’m just curious as to why you’d lie to him like that, especially since you’ve been pining after him for months?” Peter prompted and Derek flashed red eyes at him.
“Enough. I’m not talking about this Peter. Neither are you. This is kept between the two of us. Understand?” He snapped and Peter rolled his eyes before sighing.
“Whatever you say dear nephew.” He replied before going back to his room and shaking his head in despair, Derek was his own worst enemy most of the time.
Stiles drove back to his own home, glad that his dad wasn’t home yet when he went inside and headed straight for the shower. He managed to make it into the shower before the tears started falling, before he let out huge sobs and curled up on the floor of the shower, his hands wrapped around his knees as he did his best to hold himself together. He wasn’t pack. He wasn’t pack and Derek didn’t want him and everything was just such a fucking mess. He needed to get out of here, he couldn’t stay here, couldn’t watch the pack from afar, knowing that they were in danger and there was nothing he could do to help, that he was a liability, nothing more. His mind froze on that thought, there was something he could do, there was somewhere he could go.
By the time his dad arrived home Stiles had prepared himself, he’d packed his bags and they were waiting in his bedroom, he didn’t want to spring it on his dad the second he walked through the door after all. He’d made dinner, lasagne with garlic bread, his dad’s favourite, and he’d cleaned himself up, making sure to hide the marks that Derek had left, he did not want his dad to know just what a mess he’d made for himself.
“Guess who I bumped into!?” His dad called as he entered through the front door and Stiles was about to reply when Erica bounded into the kitchen looking excited, “Something smells good.” His dad grinned while Erica pulled Stiles into a hug and grinned widely.
“You sure do.” She teased and Stiles shook his head fondly before pushing her away so he could pull the lasagne from the oven.
“I made plenty. You should stay for dinner.” Stiles said a little formally and Erica’s smile fell slightly, her forehead crinkling in concern and shooting him a worried look when his dad’s back was turned.
“Everything okay son? You look pale.” Noah said, already plating himself some lasagne and digging in hungrily before handing the spoon to Erica who grinned at him.
“Yeah, although, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” He said solemnly and his dad paused in his actions, as did Erica, both of them looking at him suspiciously. He took a deep breath, there was no easy way to break this to them, but, it was important that they understood. “Over summer, while the Alpha pack had you, before Ms Blake and the nogitsune and all that, when we were looking for Erica and Boyd, I sort of stumbled across an application for a kind of college while I was looking for stuff to help find them.” Stiles began nervously.
“Okay, a kind of college, that sounds promising.” Noah said, resuming his meal, feeling that college was something normal they could talk about, Stiles should be thinking about college, he was eighteen months away from graduating still, but, it was something he should be thinking about and Noah was so proud of his son, proud that he was showing signs of recovering from the nogitsune, that he was thinking of the future.
“I applied, you know, just on the off chance, and, a couple of weeks later, I got an acceptance letter.” Stiles said, pulling out the thick letter from his back pocket and ploughing on, ignoring the looks of surprise on both Erica’s and Noah’s faces. “I asked them to defer my entry, we’d just found out about the Alpha pack, and, we were looking for you, and, I didn’t want to leave when that was going on, and then, there was the whole Darach and ritual sacrifices thing and I couldn’t go then, and then, then with the nogitsune,” He cleared his throat for a moment, “And, well, now, I think, now is a good time to go.”
“What?” Erica squawked, the first to regain her voice, “Go!? Go where? You can’t go! We need you!” Stiles slid the letter towards his dad who was still staring at him in shock and Noah took it, reading through it, his eyes getting gradually wider as he flipped the pages and continued reading. “Is this because of what happened with you and Derek!?” Erica blurted out and Noah’s eyes shot from the letter to Stiles.
“What happened with you and Derek?” He quizzed, and Stiles blushed.
“Nothing. I mean, something.” He amended when Erica growled at him, “Yeah, okay, something happened, but, it didn’t mean what I thought it meant, but, that’s not important. This is. It’s a full scholarship, they’ll pay for everything, food, accommodation, travel expenses, any books I need or any other equipment I want or need. I want to go.” He insisted.
“What the hell does ‘something’ mean!?” Noah asked angrily, “I thought you and Derek were friends now? Did he attack you or something? Lose control of his wolf? I thought he had better control than that?”
“No, dad, no, just, it wasn’t, he didn’t,” Stiles blushed before gritting his teeth, if he didn’t say something he knew Erica would, “I slept with him and then we had a bit of a disagreement.” Noah turned an odd shade of purple before clearly swallowing down his anger and concentrating on his son, “But, that’s not why I’m doing this.”
“Liar.” Erica said, snatching the letter from Noah and holding it while she glared at Stiles, she didn’t need to be a werewolf to know that whatever disagreement they’d had was a serious one, Boyd had text her to tell her that the loft smelled of Derek and Stiles, that they’d had sex and she’d been so excited, so happy, because Stiles deserved to be happy, but, instead, she’d been met by a serious, quiet Stiles who smelled of hurt and embarrassment and all she wanted to do was hold him until that smell went away.
“Alright, fine, it’s not completely to do with that. I need to get out of Beacon Hills. I need to get away from here. At least for a little while.” Stiles amended.
“But, you can’t leave the pack, how are we going to manage without you?” Erica pleaded, and Stiles winced at the mention of the pack.
“Well, as it turns out, part of that disagreement included the fact that I’m not pack.” Stiles supplied, and Erica was lost for words, her mouth hanging open for a moment before she flushed furiously.
“He’s lying. You’re pack. You are.” She insisted, “I don’t know what bullshit Derek was spouting but you are pack Stiles. No doubt about that.”
“Maybe to you. But not to him. And, you know, with him being Alpha, his word is kind of law.” Stiles muttered, and Erica looked devastated.
“I’m going to kill him.” Noah snarled, “After everything you’ve done for him, he takes advantage of you and then he says something like that! I’m going to fucking kill him.” Noah snapped, jumping from his seat and moving towards the door.
“No! Dad! Stop!” Stiles yelled, blocking the doorway and glaring at his dad, “He didn’t take advantage of me. I wanted it.”
“You’re seventeen and just recovering from a demon possession, you don’t know what you want!” Noah replied angrily.
“Yes, I do! Dad, I do. I know what I want, and, I wanted Derek. Besides, I’m not your normal seventeen-year-old, I’ve seen and experienced more than most people will in their lifetimes, and, look, at the letter, I’m not as normal as I thought.” He admitted, and Erica wrinkled her brow in confusion before turning her attention to the letter in her hands.
“I still don’t like it.” Noah grumbled.
“You don’t have to. But, I’m not going to let you arrest him for something I wanted too, that’s not fair dad and you know it. Besides, it won’t change anything. I’ve already called them. I’m going. I just wanted to tell you first.”
“What?” Noah whispered hoarsely, terrified that he wasn’t going to be able to talk his son out of this. “When?”
“They’re sending a car, they’ll be here in an hour.” Stiles replied, and Noah nodded numbly, blinking back tears, his son was leaving town and it was all Hale’s fault.
“You’re leaving now…” Erica said, waving the paper in her hands with tears streaming down her cheeks.
“An hour or so, yeah.” Stiles admitted, and Erica sobbed heavily, Stiles moving over to her and pulling her into a gentle hug, “Catwoman, don’t cry, it’s going to be fine, I’m going to be fine, better than fine.” He reassured her.
“I know, I know you will be.” She sobbed, “This, this is too good of an opportunity to miss out on, I know that, but, I just, I’m going to miss you.” She whispered into his chest and Stiles felt his own tears start.
“I’m going to miss you too, but, it’s not like I won’t have access to the outside world, we can call and text and skype and whatever, all the time, you’re pack to me too Erica.” Stiles said sincerely.
“I don’t want you to go. I mean, this, you’re sure this is what you want? This is the route you want to take with your life? There’s so many other options available to you Stiles, you don’t have to choose this? You could do anything you want to.” Noah said.
“I want to do this dad. I’ve made up my mind, if I’m going to do anything good with my life, I want it to be this, besides, I’ll be following in your footsteps, sort of?” Stiles replied and Noah let out a shaky laugh.
“And I’m proud of you, I am, I just, it worries me, that’s all, but, if this is what you want, then I’ll support you, every step of the way, however I can, although I don’t know how much I’m going to be able to help you with this, but, it’s just, I’m going to miss you too.” Noah confessed, and Stiles looked at his dad a little teary eyed.
“Well same goes for you too old man.” He said, pulling his dad into a hug, “I’m going to miss you so much dad, but, I have to do this. Please?”
“Fine, okay, yeah, just, you’re sure about all of this?” He indicated the letter in Erica’s hands and Stiles nodded.
“This is what I want to do. It feels right.” Stiles replied.
“You’ll be careful?” Erica asked, and Stiles rolled his eyes.
“Always.” He grinned.
“And you’ll call? When you get there and whenever you can?” Noah added, and Stiles smiled fondly.
“Yeah, yes, definitely.”
“And you’ll send me shirts from time to time, so I don’t forget your scent?” Erica said and Stiles full on laughed.
“Yes, of course I will, I’ll send them to you whenever you want, but you have to send them back once in a while too, otherwise I’ll run out of clothes.” He joked, and Erica smiled.
“We should get you all packed.” Noah said emotionally, and Stiles shook his head.
“Already done, my bags are upstairs.” He insisted, and Noah nodded. “We’re keeping this between the three of us, please? I mean, I’ll call Scott in a bit, tell him I’m leaving, but, the college, the course, that’s our secret, please?”
“Yeah, of course.” Noah said firmly, and Erica nodded.
“And if Derek orders me to tell him?” Erica asked, and Stiles shook his head.
“Derek won’t care enough to ask, but, if he orders you, tell him that I said ordering people to do things against their will is a pretty shit thing to do. Hopefully that’ll snap him out of it.” He said, and Erica nodded, looking upset but teeth gritted in resolve, Stiles was leaving, and she was going to lose her best friend.
“Erica, could you fetch his bags for us? I’d just like a word with Stiles?” Noah asked and Erica nodded, Stiles wasn’t going to remind his dad that Erica would be able to hear every word regardless, he waited until Erica disappeared upstairs before turning to Stiles, “If you’re leaving because of Derek, no matter how small of a part of you, then please don’t, don’t leave, don’t let him know he’s won.”
“It’s not like that dad. I just, I misunderstood. He wasn’t doing it to hurt me or whatever, he wanted to let off some steam, I thought it was more than that, I was wrong. He cleared up any confusion as soon as I asked to go out on a date, so, you know, he didn’t lead me on, or let me think he wanted more or anything like that. Don’t be mad at him. Please?”
“How can I not be?” Noah replied tearfully.
“Because I’m asking you not to? Please, dad, this whole thing is embarrassing enough, I already made an idiot out of myself, I really don’t need you and Erica defending my honour or whatever. Derek’s not the bad guy in this. I was the one who misunderstood and he’s not a bad guy, after everything he’s gone through, don’t make this even worse for him, don’t make it any harder for him.” Stiles pleaded, and Noah sighed heavily before nodding in agreement.
“Fine. I won’t have him arrested. But, if he thinks he can come crawling to you for help the first time they don’t know how to deal with whatever the creature of the week is after he told you that you weren’t pack, I want you to tell him where to shove it.” Noah said firmly, and Stiles swiped at his eyes before nodding and pulling his dad into another hug.
“Yes sir.” He muttered, and Noah laughed which turned into a sob when he clung tighter to Stiles.
“I’m going to miss you kiddo.”
“I’ll just be at the other end of the phone, you can call me whenever you like, okay?”
“Sure.” Noah nodded, pulling away when Erica reappeared with his bags in her hands.
“I text Boyd, told him not to tell the others but to come here, I haven’t told him about the college, just that I need him to come.” Erica said and Stiles sighed, he could understand that Erica needed Boyd for support right now, he just wished he wasn’t causing so much upset by leaving, but, it was necessary.
“Dad, can I talk to Erica for a minute?” He asked and Noah turned and moved towards the kitchen, out of earshot but clearly hovering.
“I already heard. You don’t want to make this any harder for Derek blah blah blah. He slept with you and then kicked you out of the pack, excuse me if I don’t feel like being nice to the guy.”
“He had good reasons Erica, besides, he’s your Alpha. You kind of have to be nice to him.” Stiles joked and Erica rolled her eyes, “Seriously,” Stiles said solemnly, “Please, don’t tell him that it’s anything to do with him, if you have to tell him about the acceptance letter or college or whatever, fine, but, don’t tell him it’s his fault or anything like that. I don’t think he deliberately tried to hurt me, and, it’s not fair if you try to deliberately hurt him.”
“Fine.” Erica grumbled unhappily but knowing she’d stick to it because it would make Stiles happy.
“And, look after my dad, yeah? Make sure he eats enough and doesn’t work himself to death or anything like that? Keep him in the loop if there’s something dangerous in town so he can be prepared?”
“Yeah, of course I will.” Erica said sincerely, “I’ll look after him Stiles, I swear I will, with everything I have. You just make sure you look after yourself too. It doesn’t sound like it’s going to be easy.” She muttered and Stiles shrugged.
“We’ll find out. I might be back next week when I’ve realised I’m so not cut out for this.” Stiles joked.
“No way. If anyone can do this, you can. You’re the bravest, smartest, most caring, incredible person I know, you’re my best friend Batman, you can do this. I know you can.” Erica said and Stiles looked to be on the verge of tears again.
“Thanks Catwoman.” He said, clearing his throat slightly when there was a knock on the door and he turned to look at it, “I guess that’s my lift.” Stiles grinned sadly.
He opened the door to two tall men in black suits, both peering at him suspiciously, a black town car parked at the sidewalk behind them.
“Stiles?” The first one queried.
“Agent K.” Stiles joked and neither of them smiled, “Men in Black? Please tell me you’ve seen it?” They both looked at him blankly, “Okay, so, clearly I have my work cut out for me.” He grinned to Erica who shook her head in amusement. “Yeah, I’m Stiles.”
“Are these your bags?” The second man smiled and Stiles nodded, “We’ll take them to the car for you while you say your goodbyes.”
“Thanks.” Stiles muttered, turning to his dad to give him another hug. “I’m going to be fine. I’ll call as soon as I get there.”
“You best do. Love you son.” Noah said tightly and Stiles wasn’t sure he was going to get through saying goodbye without completely dissolving into tears.
“Love you too dad.” He said before turning to Erica, “Be safe.”
“I will do. You too.” She replied and Stiles grinned.
“I’ll do my best.”
“Me too. And, I’ll keep an eye on the rest of them too, I know how you worry.” She smiled and Stiles nodded tearfully.
“Thanks. I’ll miss you.”
“Me too.” Erica said, her voice cutting off slightly as tears threatened to overwhelm her. Thankfully Boyd appeared just as Stiles turned towards the car, not wanting to hold things up any longer and keep the men waiting.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Boyd said, taking in the scene in front of him, his girlfriend standing on the porch steps with Noah looking tearful and Stiles about to climb into some fancy looking car.
“Hey man.” Stiles said in greeting, looking on the verge of bursting into tears himself.
“Are you okay? What’s happening? Are you going somewhere?” Boyd quizzed, trying to figure out if Stiles was in danger, if anything happened to Stiles, it would destroy all of them, Derek especially. The Alpha had barely been holding it together today and Boyd wasn’t an idiot, he knew it was because of Stiles, he just didn’t know the full details of what had happened.
“Yeah, yeah I am.” Stiles explained, “I got an early acceptance into college. I’m leaving now.” He lowered his voice slightly, “Look after Erica for me, I think she’s taking it pretty hard.” He whispered and Boyd surprised them both by pulling Stiles into a hard hug.
“You don’t have to leave.”
“Yeah, I do.” Stiles replied, “Besides, it’ll be fun. Look after them for me. Until I get home.”
“Which will be when?” Boyd asked and Stiles shrugged.
“I’m not sure.” He answered honestly.
“Spring break is in a couple of months.” Boyd muttered and Stiles nodded.
“Yes it is, so, maybe, I don’t know. I have to get there first.” He joked, indicating the car behind him and Boyd nodded.
“Right, yeah, sure, course, I best let you get going then.” He said before freezing and catching Stiles’ arm, “Wait, what about the rest of the pack? Don’t you want to say a proper goodbye?”
“I’ll call Scott when we’re on the road, explain things, but, other than that, I think a quiet exit is probably the best one.” He replied quietly and Boyd didn’t want to let him go, wanted to drag Stiles to Derek and tell Derek to fix this, that they couldn’t lose Stiles because of whatever had been said in the heat of the moment. He knew he couldn’t though. Stiles had made up his mind and Stiles was stubborn, they’d learned that much, there would be no changing his mind now, he was leaving and that was that.
“We’ll miss you.” Boyd said sincerely and Stiles gave him a sad smile.
“I’ll miss you more.” He teased before climbing into the back seat and shutting the door behind him. Boyd watched in a stunned silence as the car drove smoothly away and then Erica’s sobs tore him from his own thoughts, he moved towards his girlfriend who was clinging tightly to Noah, both of them had tears streaming down their cheeks and were shaking almost silently, Boyd was sure that he was in shock, sure that when the reality set in, that Stiles had left town, the hole in his chest would worsen, Stiles was a friend to him when nobody else had been, Stiles had supported them through everything. All they’d done was let him down, they hadn’t looked out for him properly, if they had then Gerard wouldn’t have been able to kidnap him, the nogitsune would never have been able to get a hold of him, the kelpie wouldn’t have been able to nearly drown him and he wouldn’t be leaving them now.
He held Erica tightly, steering Noah back into the house and pouring the man a rather large measure of whiskey as they tried to process the fact that Stiles was gone.
Stiles did call when he got there several hours later. He didn’t tell them about the fact Scott’s phone had gone straight to voicemail and Stiles had left him a message asking Scott to call him as soon as possible. He didn’t tell them that he had curled up in the back seat and sobbed until his tears dried up and he fell into a fitful sleep. He didn’t tell them that he caught sight of the marks on his neck in his reflection when he was being escorted to his room and nearly had a panic attack at the memory of the look on Derek’s face. He didn’t tell them that this morning he had woken up happy and believing that his life was finally starting to fix itself and that by midnight he was in another state, taking on the biggest challenge of his life, fearing he was about to make an even bigger idiot of himself and crying himself to sleep because he already missed his home, his dad, Erica, his pack.
What he did tell them was that his room was huge, that it had a massive bay window that overlooked the garden of the estate, that he was only three rooms down from the most incredible library he’d ever seen, that he’d already met the dean and she’d been the one to escort him to his room, giving him the guided tour, introducing him to some of the other students who were all much older than Stiles and explaining that his training would begin first thing tomorrow. He tried to sound excited and not at all like he’d left his heart behind in Beacon Hills.