Work Text:
“Hey, Steve?” You asked the boy next to you.
Steve Harrington made some noncommittal sound as he continued playing with your hair. He was on his sides, being propped up by his elbow, and only covered by a white blanket.
You took a sharp breath in, scared of what would be the result of this talk you are about to have. Would this be the end of you and Steve? Would he realise that this magic you guys have only happens when the moon is out, illuminating its borrowed light and on the sheets of his mattress?
"Steve, I…“ You trailed off. You felt like your throat was being constricted or something. It was closing off. So damn scared to lose him, that what it is. You were afraid all of this- all of him -would slip from your fingers in just one conversation.
"What is it, babe?” He asked, leaning down toward your laid down form to kiss your cheeks.
You were laying down, stiff. Back on the bed, rim rod straight and face turned upward to the ceiling of his bedroom. You didn’t dare to look at his beautiful face. You feared that you would burst into tears.
"Steve, what about Nancy?“
As those four words left your lips, you eyes shut close immediately. Steve stopped his act to his your cheeks. He was unmoving. He stilled… You felt his warm breath fan over your face.
"Nancy?”
Was he asking this because he couldn’t believe your brought her up during your nightly expeditions? Or, was he asking because he completely forgot who the fuck Nancy is?
Nancy Wheeler… It became an unspoken rule to never speak her name out loud or talk remotely anything related to her around Steve especially by you. You who became a shoulder to lean on (some to fuck with) to him. She was- honestly, still is- the bane of your existence.
Little Miss Perfect Nancy Wheeler- beautiful, smart, caring.
You couldn’t match with her. She was the sun, attracted everyone to her and shone light in lives. You were a fucking light bulb, flickering and blinding. And why would the sun be jealous of light bulb?
You were nothing and Nancy was everything. Everybody knew that, Steve knew that… What hurts the most is even you knew that.
"Yeah, Nancy… Nancy Wheeler. Don’t tell me you forgot about her?“
"No. I haven’t forgotten about her… She just… Slipped from my mind for a while.” He looked incredulous, like he could not believe he forgot about his Nancy.
Steve pulled away from you and sat on the bed. He looked gorgeous. Your eyes flew open to stare at him. His back was wonderful. You imagined the times your nails raked down it and leaving marks and wounds there. His arms were strong and you keep on bringing back the moments you were wrapped in them. He was holding you close towards him to remind him that “Yes, he is real. This is reality,”. His hair, being hit right now by the moonlight, looked twice more sexy.
Truly, you could just be aroused by his crowning glory. It’s perfect just like him.
You can’t take it anymore. For you, this guy beside you was the world. He always has been. Ever since being friends with in sixth grade Math class… You were partnered with him in one project and you sucked. Steve laughed at your clumsiness with numbers and creating a presentation for the class. Not that he was any better than you are. Just a smidge. 50 minutes with him every Tuesdays and Thursdays made your week. After those days, you were a sad shell. Your friendship seemed to be hidden from everyone.
No one knew you were friends with him… Was it even friendship you had? You weren’t so sure but those 100 minutes in a week made your sixth grade amazing. It carried on until high school. Always meeting up in secret. Was he ashamed of hanging with a social neutral like you? Maybe? Tommy and Carol (actually, the whole student body) never knew you were alive until the Wheelers moved away from Hawkins. Always the invisible one.
But not now. You were the bitch that stole Steve from Nancy. (Which isn’t true.) You were helping Steve cope with the Wheelers moving out of town because you lov- cared for him. Of course, that is what friends do. You were therapy. You tried so many things to help him get over it; you desperately tried doing a lot of methods until one day this happened.
The two of you had been inside of his bedroom, listening to music. You were both laying down when suddenly he held your hand. He tugged on it, making you look at him.
"Thank you for everything and for dealing with me even when I’m an ass sometimes.“ He told you truthfully. And still holding you hand. Your heart skipped a beat just like every time he did something out of character but you were an expert at swallowing your emotions towards Mister Oh So Popular, Unreachable Steve Harrington.
"Sometimes? You’re an ass all time.” You laughed at him and tried to release your hand from his grip. He didn’t budge.
"Stop ruining the moment,“ he rolled his eyes at you with a fond smile on his face before completely staring at your face. You were immobilized. You both were in a trance, simply staring at each other. Then Steve’s gaze landed on your lips and back to your eyes. The world had seemed to stop spinning on its axis when his lips crashed to yours. Even now, it felt that way, every time he kissed you.
He had swiftly moved on top of you, not even breaking the kiss as he transferred position. His left hand travelled downward and went to grab your ass.
“I like your ass. Have I told you that?” He told you. You tried to laugh at his dorkiness but he kissed you again, smothering the sound of your short lived laughter. He removed his hand from your ass and it found its way underneath your shirt and did circles on your stomach. It then crept up until it cupped your breast. You moaned into the kiss.
His tongue entered your mouth as you moaned. It felt like heaven despite knowing better hell would be the outcome of this. It didn’t matter at that time as long as Steve’s body melting to yours and making you his, even it was temporary.
You broke the kiss to remove your shirt and skirt.
"Beautiful,” Steve had murmured when he saw your body. He had quickly removed offending articles of clothing, leaving him naked. You gave his body a once over and told him that he was the beautiful one. He slowly lowered the straps your red lace bra, sending chills down your spine and making you warm at core.
His fingers, the ones trailing down your arm as it traveled with the bra strap, were killing you slowly.
“You’re killing me,” You then had unhooked your bra and threw it somewhere in his room.
“I wanted to be the one to remove it.”
“I thought you were a ninja? Stealthy and handsy?”
“I am,” He said, running his hands from your waist to your breasts, and squeezed them while he leaned closer to kiss your jaw, then your neck. As his fingers brush over the sensitive flesh, you felt the familiar tingling run through your body, as it did most of the time when you awoke alone after dreaming of his touch.
“Prove it.” You looked directly into his eyes as you said it. He smirked at your challenge and let a finger inside down your already dripping slit. He tore away the panties that were covering your pussy before you could. You shivered at his touch.
You had your legs folded up around his hips, pressing him down against you. He was circling your tender clit and pushed his finger deeper… First just one, then two, pumping in and out of you, causing you to let out a sound of pleasure.
That night was a memorable one. You weren’t fucking or taking advantage of each other. You were making love, at least, in your opinion. It was the start of therapeutic sex and friends with benefits. No one knew that you two were screwing each other except yourselves but a lot of people became suspicious of your relationship with Steve and called you names.
It sent you back to the present time, remembering what they called you behind your back. They thought it wouldn’t reach you. Those ugly name calling. They would not dare say it to your face for they knew there was a constant threat of Steve beating them up if they did.
"We should stop meeting like this. This should stop- what we are doing.“ You decided to drop the bomb already so the pain would come fast. It wouldn’t be damage-less, in fact, whether you eased it in or said it quickly; the pain would still be there.
Steve’s removed his gaze from the wall and immediately went to look at you.
“What?”
His whisper intensified the emotion that was seen in his eyes. You sat up and held the blanket close to your chest. A slow nod was your only response to him.
“Why?”
Why? Why? Because Steve loves you but he’s in love with Nancy. It’s been months since she left but he was still hung up on her. No matter what you do, she will be his number one. No amount sex or cuddles or whatnot would replace her. You knew your place and knew you were dying piece by piece because of your ‘martyrdom for love’.
“Because this should end, Steve! Us… We’re an illusion.” You said in a strangled voice.
“How can we be an illusion when you’ve been my anchor for months? You were the one who kept me on my toes and reminded me I’m still alive!” He shot back. You were shocked for this is the first time he said it. It was implied multiple times but now it’s been said out loud.
You didn’t know what to say… or what to argue. Your brain seemed to crash when the reply you gave was, “I love you.”
The boy you loved with all your being looked you directly in the eye and breathed heavily. What was gonna happen? Is it the end game? But it didn’t seem to be when he got up from his spot and sat in front of you. He placed both hands on your cheeks
“I love you too.”
This wasn’t supposed to happen. No, he wasn’t supposed to say that. He was just confused with his feelings. He loves Nancy. Does he? These last two months, whenever Nancy was mentioned he did not flinch or sadden visibly. He seemed to be okay with talking about her. He could drive past her house without stiffening or making some sharp turn. Maybe, he was moving on.
Maybe.
“I never thought I’d hear you say it,” Tears sprung up your eyes and you continued speaking, “Are you in love with me or are you in love with the feeling? The thought of me? Us?”
“Does it matter?”
Your foreheads touched. Steve wiped away the tears that fell from your eyes.
“Yes, it does matter.”
“You know what I’m sure of matters? You. What I’m starting to feel about you. What this means to me, to you. That your smile and happiness matters.”
He easily captured your lips to his. You were confused as to what this is, as to what was happening. But you knew that this was real. And that what matters.
You kissed Steve back perplexed to what the universe was doing to the two of you but he matters. The rest could fix itself in the morning, like always.