Chapter Text
She is a beautiful bride. Keith watched Pidge walk around the ballroom with Lance on her arm. She happily greeted each guest that attended their wedding. She wore a long lace white gown with a keyhole back, V-neck, and a jade green sash. Her heels matched her sash. Her floral crown had a mix of flowers and greenery. Her mother, Colleen, found a way to grow their native Olkarian florals. The whole ballroom overflowed with flowers. It's a beautiful evening in French Polynesia. The wedding makes the warm environment all the more beautiful. Keith is overjoyed for them.
Lance's hair was trimmed low. His baby face transformed into a man. His smiles are brighter. Grief no longer wears on his face. His Altean marks are gone. Keith wonders what happened to them but refuses to broach the subject. Instead, he's relieved he can look Lance in the face again. Those marks were a reminder of her.
Allura.
It's been years since he uttered her name. He refuses to speak of her to anyone. Shiro often tries to talk to him, but Keith changes the subject. Shiro is highly concerned for his well-being. Since Allura's death, Keith managed to cut off his feelings. Women have been interested in him, but he can't bring himself to date again.
Veronica finds him wherever he is. She has been kind enough to write him. Veronica sends Keith small cards and care packages. It beats the hell out of the food he comes across on other planets. Keith is aware Veronica is interested and finds her attractive. But he cannot bring himself to date her. She is a part of Lance's family and also a reminder of what he lost.
Allura.
So Keith remains alone. It's been six years. The other paladins have married. Hunk married Romelle. They travel to other planets together, melding food and diplomacy. Shiro and Curtis made life on Earth. And now Pidge and Lance are married. Keith kept his home on Earth. He had it rebuilt. Now he wishes to gift it to Lance and Pidge for their starter home.
After the war, his home was in shambles. Keith had it rebuilt for his mother, but she never stayed there. Instead, anytime she returns to Earth, she stays at the Garrison or Shiro's. The home reminds her of his dad. That's a good enough reason for her to stay away.
Likewise, when Keith comes to Earth from his travels, he stays with Shiro. He and Curtis have been nothing but welcoming. Curtis can cook- which is a plus.
It's not like Keith doesn't want to stay at his home. It's just that there are too many memories there. The last time he spent time in there, he was drawn to the Blue lion, and then he met-
Allura.
Keith surveyed the room. He saw Shiro and Curtis getting drinks. Hunk and Romelle are dancing up a storm. Matt and Veronica are cracking jokes. James and Nadia are taking shots, and Ina and Kinkade are taping it. Coran is regaling Acxa with stories of old. Acxa can barely look at him now. They were a couple for a little while. He did try to move on with Acxa. But she could not deal with his nightmares.
"You say her name in your sleep Keith," Keith remembers Acxa gathering her things from his place.
"I can't take being second place to her anymore." Her tears were fresh in her eyes. True to Keith's form, he didn't try to stop her. The same way he didn't try to stop -
Allura.
Acxa's words still sting, but she was right. It wasn't fair to her. So now she keeps her distance, and he does the same. The pain in her eyes gnaws at Keith's soul when she looks at him. That pain of loneliness he's been fighting for years suddenly washed over him. He needed air. Spotting a balcony, he grabbed his champagne off the table and darted for the door.
Thankful no one is out on the balcony overlooking the beach, he removed his Black suit jacket to reveal his white button-down shirt. The resort Pidge and Lance chose is beautiful. Keith is grateful that they decided on a beach for their New Year's wedding. Being raised in Arizona, he hated cold weather.
Keith leaned on the balcony. Part of him wants to throw himself off it and end it all. But, he thought better of it. Instead, he found himself gazing into the stars, looking for her. His dreams have been filled with her . Her telling him that she misses and loves him. Keith cannot bring himself to tears. A part of him is numb, and the other is in intense pain. He feels like he is drowning. Continuing her work is how he copes. So Keith gets lost in it. All at the expense of his friendships.
Today is the first time he has seen Lance in years. The same with Hunk and Pidge. The only person he allows himself to see is Shiro, and that is limited. He loves Shiro like his brother and almost like a father. He couldn't cut him off if he wanted to.
With racing thoughts, Keith leaned over the ledge. Why didn't he tell her? Why did he let her sacrifice herself? All his demons from that day haunt him—guilt over how the last seconds of her life played out. If Lance wasn't able to stop her, he couldn't either. She loved Lance, not him. Lost in thought, he almost didn't hear someone on the balcony.
"Hey man, are you ok?" Lance asked him with concern.
"Yeah." Keith barely turned to acknowledge Lance. Then, realizing how messed up he sounded, Keith drummed sentiment.
"Congratulations Lance." He smiles wistfully. "She is beautiful."
Lance patted Keith on the shoulder, smiling. "Thanks, Man." An awkward pause ensued before Lance spoke again. "What are you doing out here by yourself? You should be trying to find yourself a girl. Nadia is single." Lance took a sip of his drink, trying to gauge Keith's body language.
"I hardly think I am her type, Lance." Keith shot him a sideways glance, not entirely willing to face him.
Not to be deterred, Lance continued, "Well, I wasn't going to say, but my sister likes you. If you don't move quickly, Matt might charm her away."
Keith knows Lance is trying to cheer him up and doesn't know how. It was starting to annoy him. He knows Veronica likes him but opts not to go there. That is Lance's sister, after all.
"Your sister deserves better than me," He muttered. "I couldn't make her happy."
"Wow, you sell yourself short, man." Lance took a spot next to Keith. Lance softens his voice. "I know we aren't close. I mean, I wish we were better friends."
Keith raises an eyebrow. "Do you?"
"Yes," Lance says confidently. "I think that is why you declined to be my best man? I wanted you to be," Lance nervously continued. "Katie and I were disappointed."
"Sorry," Keith said, not meeting Lance's eyes. "The blades take up my time."
"Don't be. I owe you an apology, Keith."
Exasperated by this conversation, Keith sighed, "For what, Lance?"
"For everything. For making fun of you, making you feel like an outcast, and never thanking you for the countless times you saved us. For almost sacrificing yourself-"
"This is not necessary." Keith interrupts him by waving his hand. This conversation is getting too much for him.
"Yes, it is." Lance's tone was insistent.
"I will never forgive myself for not treating you as the friend you truly are."
"I forgive you, Lance, but only if you stop talking."
"Keith, you did something for me that no one ever did. I will forever be in your debt."
"You're being dramatic." Keith takes a deep breath. He suddenly feels like he is suffocating again. But, this time, it's under Lance's sudden feelings. He cannot deal with too much of that shit.
"You should have told her." Keith froze in place. What the fuck is he talking about?
Then Keith's ears began to ring. Wait. How does he know?!
He forced a calm composure while slowly turning to face Lance. "What do you mean I should have told her?"
"Told who what?"
Annoyance flashed in Lance's eyes.
"You should have told Allura you loved her. You loved her, didn't you?"
Keith looked into the ocean without saying another word. Keith wished he could dive in. It would be better than having this conversation with LANCE.
"Hey man, you don't have to tell me. Your actions tell me."
"You drown in this relief effort. You won't date anymore. Rumor has it that you had feelings for Allura…." Keith turned around with fire in his eyes. He hates gossip.
"And who told you that?"
"Does it matter?" Lance spit back. "I'm sorry, man. I just wanted you to know that you are the best friend anyone could ever have. I know I do not deserve your friendship. So, I hope you can forgive me. But, most of all, I hope you can forgive yourself."
Keith gripped the balcony railing.
"I am not angry with you, Lance," Keith muttered. "Now go find your new wife. I am sure she is looking for you."
Lance patted him on the shoulder. "Don't stay out here too long." Keith finally made eye contact with Lance and gave him a firm nod.
But Keith couldn't stay any longer. No amount of drinks can keep him here. So he returned inside only to bolt out the front door. He had to get out of there.
***