Work Text:
Shinobi Enforcement Agency's main office was located down a dark alley that was squeezed between a ramen shop and a sketchy looking onsen. A rickety set of stairs hidden behind a foul-smelling dumpster led to a door that could only be opened with chakra and blood. The building itself appeared ready to fall down at the next light breeze. Inside, however, was a brightly lit, orderly office.
No one found their way there by accident. Kakashi was a frequent visitor.
He sighed in annoyance as he edged his way down the alley, trying not to hit the unconscious missing-nin on his shoulders against the brick walls. A bounty station that required the full bodies of dead or defeated ninja for payment should be located down a wider alley.
After managing to get the bulky missing-nin up the stairs and into the office, Kakashi was greeted by a young woman with a customer service smile. He'd never seen her before, but that wasn't surprising. There was someone new working in the office every time he went. They varied in age and look, but their manner was always the same. And each one had the same insufferably pleasant smile.
Today's model was in her early twenties with long black hair and startlingly purple eyes. She examined the missing-nin Kakashi had brought in with ruthless efficiency, making sure he wasn't under a henge and had no life-threatening injuries before sealing him away in a transport scroll.
Kakashi stood and watched, careful not to get mud onto the subtle beige and taupe patterns of the nondescript carpet. He'd left a trail of bloody footprints once, and the receptionist's smile had looked like she was trying to turn the phrase "kill with kindness" into a literal reality.
"Good work, Sukea-san," today's receptionist said, tone ever-professional as she returned to her desk, transport scroll in hand. "Now if you could just fill these out."
Kakashi resisted the urge to sigh again. This was his least favorite part: the paperwork.
He reminded himself of the one million ryo he'd be getting for his latest target and started on the pile of forms she'd placed in front of him. No other bounty station required paperwork. All they wanted was a head or body. Shinobi Enforcement Agency wanted documentation. In triplicate.
Soft, inoffensive music floated through the station as Kakashi wrote about when, where, and how he'd taken down the missing-nin. Water gurgled in a small, sea life themed fountain on a table with neat stacks of magazines. The only other sounds in the room were the scratch of his pen and the shuffle of papers as the receptionist of the day put away a stack of files in a wall full of cabinets before pulling another stack from the drawers. Kakashi had never been in the office when the receptionist hadn't been filing something.
Kakashi was tired, muddy, and smelled like swamp gas. The missing-nin he'd just brought in had been annoyingly persistent about not being caught. He really should have just dropped the missing-nin off at one of the other collection agencies. The reward was generally about the same. But Shinobi Enforcement Agency was the only one that was approved, unofficially, by all the major nations and most of the smaller ones too. They preferred all targets be brought back alive and then they returned them promptly to their villages for whatever justice awaited them. With the appropriate paperwork, of course.
The main reason Kakashi kept coming back to S.E.A. was because the bingo books they issued were detailed and specific. Each profile came with a clear list of their accused crimes and the evidence that supported those accusations. They had no interest in bounties placed on people because of bloodline limits or personal grudges. They only wanted true criminals, and their books let Kakashi decide which crimes deserved being hauled back to a village for what was likely a death sentence. He wasn't going after anyone who'd been forced to leave their village and had a mouth to feed on top of that.
He finished the paperwork and handed it over to the receptionist.
"Will you be requiring proof of delivery?" she asked with that same professional smile. They all asked him that now, ever since he'd sent a clone to follow one of their delivery boys all the way to Lightning Country, not fully believing the agency's claim of returning the missing-nin to their villages for justice.
A group of ANBU had met the boy outside the city gates and a flurry of documents and formal bows had been exchanged. After the boy had turned back towards home, he'd paused for a moment, looked straight at the tree where Kakashi's clone was hiding for a full 10 seconds before bowing and thanking him for his hard work with a smile so benign it was borderline sinister. The clone had quickly dispersed itself and when the memories had hit Kakashi, he'd almost broken the bowl he was washing. Lightning Country's ANBU hadn't noticed him. There was no reason the boy should have. He hadn't bothered to follow one of their messengers again, but the receptionists still asked him if he wanted delivery confirmation every single time.
He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm good."
She handed over the reward, thanking him again before immediately going back to her paperwork.
Kakashi fought back another sigh. Time to go buy groceries.
~*~*~
It wasn't that Kakashi was looking for trouble. Really, he wasn't. But sometimes he couldn't help it. Trouble found him.
He'd gotten too used to spotting the telltale signs of covert criminal activity over his years hunting missing-nin. The suspicious lookout on the corner, trying to appear casual as they guarded a hideout. The quick exchange of goods and money when no one was looking. The whisper of information between two strangers momentarily standing side by side. The haunted look of everyday people caught up in whatever mess was around them. He'd used all those little hints to help him find his targets over the last six years, and that didn't even count his time in ANBU before he'd left Konoha.
Those sorts of things were common enough in certain towns and cities, but he wasn't expecting to see them in his own neighborhood.
He nearly dropped his basket of vegetables when he saw an envelope of money pass from the old guy who ran the small grocery store to a musclebound thug, Ninja Academy Dropout all but stamped on his forehead. He was the type that knew how to intimidate civilians, but likely was not smart enough to profit from it on his own.
The old man sagged in relief when the thug took the money and left.
Kakashi crept his way to the front of the store, peering from behind the displays nearest the door. They gave him just enough cover to watch the thug enter a shop across the street and come out a short time later, tucking another envelop of money into his pocket.
Protection fees, Kakashi thought with distaste. His fingers itched to grab a kunai. It wouldn't be hard to take this guy out, but Kakashi couldn't act before he knew the whole situation.
And he would be finding out the whole situation. This new threat wouldn't last long enough to get old, not if he had any say about it.
But first, he had dinner to make. He finished loading up his basket with all sorts of healthy food he knew wouldn't be appreciated, paid for it, then headed home.
~*~*~
Naruto was on him before he even put the bags down.
"Did you get ramen?" he asked, not waiting for Kakashi to answer before he started rummaging through the groceries. "Aw, you never get ramen."
"I thought we'd make something together tonight," Kakashi said, prepared for the reaction that would get.
"Something with vegetables and fish?" Naruto asked, suspicious.
"Yes, with vegetables and fish."
Naruto wrinkled his nose at Kakashi to show exactly what he thought of that.
"I'll let you cut the vegetables?" Kakashi offered.
"With a kunai?"
"With a kitchen knife."
Naruto's face fell.
"If you help cook and do dishes, I'll show you a new jutsu?" Kakashi tried.
"Fine," Naruto muttered, "I guess I can cut things."
They bartered like this more often than Kakashi wanted to admit, usually when he was near chakra exhaustion after hauling in a particularly stubborn target. Sometime around Naruto's fifth birthday, Kakashi had found the best way to motivate him was by promising to teach him super cool, awesome jutsu that no one else knew. It'd worked well, but Kakashi hadn't considered the fact that he'd have to keep doing it. Five years later, he was running out of "super cool" but mostly harmless jutsu to teach Naruto. Naruto was getting old enough that he really should start learning the more dangerous stuff, but Kakashi just wasn't quite ready for that yet.
While they cooked, Naruto chattered about what they were studying in school. It was a regular school, no ninjutsu on the curriculum, and Naruto thought it was the second most boring thing in the universe, right behind meals made mostly of fish and vegetables.
Kakashi didn't see the point to it either, he just needed a place that would keep Naruto relatively out of trouble during the day while he hunted down missing-nin and did odd jobs to make ends meet. Not that he was going to tell Naruto that. There was no way that would end well. Instead, he found himself coming up with increasing ridiculous lies about yeah, shinobi definitely needed to know how to draw a turkey by tracing their hand. That was totally a thing he used all the time on missions. And playing the recorder was an absolutely essential ninja skill. Boy, if Kakashi had a ryo for every time playing the recorder had saved his life on a mission... well, he'd have one ryo. It had been an odd mission.
The only reason he'd been able to get Naruto to go to the school in the first place was by convincing him that it was a long-term, S-rank undercover mission that only Naruto could do because he was just the right age. He'd stressed the importance of not breaking cover for a good three hours the night before school started while Naruto nodded at him with wide, innocent eyes. Kakashi had been fairly certain he'd gotten through to him.
Kakashi's first day of school worries were nothing like normal parent first day of school worries. They included, but were not limited to, Naruto jumping on the teacher's podium and yelling "I AM THE GREATEST NINJA OF ALL TIME," Naruto using anything vaguely sharp for throwing practice, Naruto attempting a katon in the middle of whatever first years did for science class, Naruto walking up the walls during PE class, and a hundred more horrors that would most definitely blow their cover.
He couldn't breathe until he'd picked Naruto up at the end of the day.
"Ah, here to get our little ninja," the teacher had said the moment she'd seen Kakashi.
Kakashi froze, his brain nothing but a loop of oh shit, but she was too busy calling to Naruto that his dad was there to notice.
"Such an active little imagination," she said, as she turned back to him.
Kakashi laughed nervously. "Yep, that's him. Huge imagination."
"See you tomorrow, shinobi-san," the teacher said with a laugh as Naruto bounded out the classroom.
Naruto gave Kakashi a wink that could be seen from space. Kakashi debated the merits of banging his head against the nearest wall.
"So. You told them you're a ninja?" Kakashi asked as they walked home, trying to keep his voice light and casual.
"Right? It's the best cover story ever! See, this way they think I'm just playing make-believe like all the other kids. If I slip up, they'll never notice. I could even use jutsu and they'd just think it was all pretend."
Naruto's 5-year-old logic was impeccable. Flawless. Absolutely no problems to be had right there.
Kakashi had seriously considered just heading straight back to Konoha and telling the Third this had all been a mistake. He was definitely not the one who should be hiding Naruto from the world. He couldn't even hide him from a classroom full of 5 year olds.
Things hadn't gotten much better from there.
There were times when Kakashi thought he was getting the hang of it, when he managed to get Naruto through the day unharmed, fed, and with his homework done. And then there were days when Naruto refused to eat anything but ramen, called Kakashi a pervert, and generally made so much noise that missing-nin three countries over had to know exactly where they were. The later were far more common than the former.
Just a few more years, Kakashi told himself as Naruto tried to avoid eating his vegetables by acting out today's stunning victory in PE class. He'd run the fastest, entirely without using chakra, he insisted. Kakashi just hoped it was so.
A few more years, and then he could return to Konoha. Maybe he'd retire. After what would likely be almost a decade masquerading as a missing-nin while secretly on a mission to protect Naruto from shady forces within Konoha, he deserved retirement.
"And then," Naruto shouted, "I came from behind and beat them all!"
Oh, yeah. He'd definitely used chakra.
For something around the 1000th time in the last six years, Kakashi resisted the urge to bang his head against any nearby hard, flat surface. Brain damage would not help him protect his charge, no matter how appealing the prospect seemed.
He sighed and started on the dishes.
~*~*~
It didn't take long to find out what, or rather who, the new game in town was. There was very little game to be had in this area. It was one of the safest places not under a major hidden village's protection.
Enough missing-nin knew the town was Shinobi Enforcement Agency's base of operations that they tended to avoid the vicinity unless they were dropping off a target, the only time they were truly safe. S.E.A. wouldn't trap anyone coming there to do business, but they made no such promises to those who overstayed their welcome. And most missing-nin seemed perfectly okay with that. Something about not wanting to live in the backyard of a notorious bounty hunting agency.
Kakashi liked it just fine. Then again, he'd never been in one of their books, even if his face did grace the pages of numerous others. The Copy-nin, friend-killer, village-betrayer. Konoha had publicly blamed him for enough crimes over the years, he should by rights be in S.E.A.'s book, but he wasn't. He'd never figured that out, and he wasn't going to argue about it either. He had enough people after him as it was.
But where Kakashi wasn't listed, many others were. And because anyone in the area who happened to be in S.E.A.'s bingo book got scooped up by Kakashi or someone else, the town had been free of wanna-be crime bosses, missing-nin, and even run of the mill thugs for as long as Kakashi had been there, probably longer. Anyone who did try to put down any sort of unsavory roots was gone very quickly.
On the other hand, the total lack of crime might be what had drawn their new guest to town in the first place. Where some people saw danger and a one-way ticket back to their village of origin, others foolishly saw opportunity. Crime, like nature, abhorred a vacuum.
So Kakashi did his research. It wasn't hard, the missing-nin wasn't trying to hide his presence.
Ikuo, an illegal weapons dealer, murderer, human trafficker, and all around bad guy, had decided the rolling plains of Grass Country were exactly where he wanted to call home.
Kakashi flipped through S.E.A.'s latest bingo book, annoyed when he didn't find an entry for him. Surely they would have a reward out, especially with him moving so boldly into their territory. But maybe they just hadn't had time to issue a new book yet.
With that in mind, the next time he dropped off a missing-nin, one he'd caught on another quick but mucky day trip to Land of Swamps and who only earned him a measly 50 thousand ryo, he asked if they'd released a new version of their bingo book.
The receptionist gave him their usual customer service smile. Today's was a man in his mid-thirties with spiky, bright green hair and eyes so dark they were nearly all pupil. "Not yet, Sukea-san. We will let you know when the next update is available."
Kakashi frowned. "There's no reward for Ikuo?"
The receptionist froze for a fraction of a second, smile slipping almost imperceptibly before it was back in full, polite force. Kakashi had come to read that smile as "The only reason I'm not killing you right now is because I'm on the clock."
"We will let you know when the next update is available."
Kakashi left, feeling unsettled. Why wasn't S.E.A. interested in taking down this missing-nin? Surely they'd want Ikuo gone just as much as Kakashi did. He hoped they didn't have some sort of arrangement, but even if they did, it didn't matter.
If S.E.A. didn't want Ikuo, other bounty stations would. Kakashi could do this one through a different company. Hell, he'd do it for free if he had to. He wasn't about to let a notorious missing-nin settle into the area on his watch. It'd all but invite Naruto to try to get involved again. And after last time, he'd told Naruto repeatedly that he wasn't allowed to try to take down dangerous missing-nin until he was at least 12.
~*~*~
Kakashi didn't bother being covert about it. Guys like Ikuo didn't need covert to take them down. Given how he'd all but sledgehammered his way into the town, subtlety wasn't really his style. Instead, Kakashi just walked straight into his headquarters and asked for a job.
A few tests of strength and a couple of pummeled bodyguards later, his application was approved.
Ikuo looked him up and down. "You gay?" he asked.
Kakashi blinked at him. "Umm." How was he supposed to answer that?
"I'll take that as a yes. Follow me."
He led Kakashi to a large, boarded up building on the outskirts of town. Another ninja academy dropout guarded the door.
As they stepped inside, Kakashi's skin crawled. He knew what this was. Trying to keep the disgust out of his eyes, he looked over the place.
"The girls are in their rooms," Ikuo explained, following Kakashi's gaze but misreading his expression. "They won't be brought out until we are open for business."
"Which is when?"
"Should have been up and running already, but we had some... security issues. The last set of guards were too busy sampling the merchandise to do their jobs and more than a few of the girls got away. They were taken care of. That shouldn't be an issue with you though, right?"
"No, sir," Kakashi replied. He didn't want to know if they were taken care of meant the guards, the girls, or both.
"Good. We've got more girls coming in next week. You won't have much to guard until then."
Ikuo gave him a quick tour of the brothel, explaining what was expected of Kakashi as they went.
"Make sure the customers don't get too rough. A little rough is okay, mind you. We just don't want the girls too damaged to work. But mainly you'll just need to keep the girls from getting out."
Kakashi wanted to kill him right then and there, but he needed more intel first.
They ended the tour in the backrooms.
"This is the office," Ikuo said, opening the door. "You shouldn't need to be in here."
A young man with brown hair looked up from where he was leaning over a desk stacked with envelopes of money. He was only wearing a pair of dark blue boxer briefs. Before he could stop himself, Kakashi's eyes traced the lines of his body, all tan skin and hard muscles.
"Definitely gay," Ikuo said with a snort. "You can't fuck this one either."
"He works here?"
Ikuo laughed and walked over to the other man. "He's pretty enough," he said as he grabbed the man's ass. "I suppose I could consider diversifying."
"I make you more money doing what I'm already doing," the man said, giving Ikuo a stunningly courteous smile.
Kakashi's eyes widened. He knew that smile.
Ikuo shrugged. "True. Well, if you change your mind." He slapped the man's ass hard and Kakashi nearly dove for cover. How could he not see all the excruciating pain and slow death the man's smile was promising?
"Enoki, this is Shinrai, the best damn accountant this side of the Iron Mountains. Shinrai, Enoki here will be working security."
"Enoki?" Shinrai asked, eyes narrowing for a brief moment. And fuck, he knew. Kakashi was always Sukea when he dropped off missing-nin, but apparently his other aliases were known as well.
"That's me," Kakashi said. "Pleasure working with you." He willed the man to get it.
Shinrai grunted an acknowledgment and went back to counting money. Ikuo turned to leave and very quickly Shinrai signed a decent approximation of the Konoha ANBU sign for return to home base that was used whenever a mission was going south and the team needed to regroup.
Kakashi didn't let his surprise show. There was no logical reason this man should know Konoha ANBU hand signs, but Kakashi gave a slight nod then followed Ikuo out.
"Great with paperwork," Ikuo said, "but he's a light-fingered little fuck. Hence the lack of clothing. Tried to walk out with a pocketful of money more than once. Still, makes me far more than he could ever walk away with."
Kakashi made a vague sound of agreement. If he were Ikuo, he wouldn't be so sure about that.
~*~*~
As soon as he could, Kakashi headed straight for S.E.A.'s office. Shinrai was there, now fully clothed. It was the first time Kakashi had seen him without his usual smile. He was also fairly sure he wasn't transformed into the receptionist of the day for once.
The door had barely closed behind him before Shinrai was swearing with enough creativity that Kakashi was just glad Naruto wasn't around.
"I TOLD YOU THERE WASN'T AN UPDATE TO THE DAMN BOOK!" Shinrai yelled, once he'd gotten the worst of the swearing out of his system. His face was bright red with anger, and Kakashi didn't entirely trust him not to throw one of his neat stacks of paperwork into Kakashi's face.
"IF YOU FUCK THIS UP FOR ME, I SWEAR, I WILL PUT YOUR ASS IN MY BINGO BOOK NEXT TIME."
"Fuck what up for you? Your side hustle? Bounty station not paying enough these days?"
Shinrai did throw a stack of paperwork at his head for that one. It was the first time Kakashi had seen the office look messy.
"Didn't it occur to you that some organizations can't be killed by cutting off the head? Ikuo has associates in five different countries. Taking out this branch will only move the resources elsewhere."
"Oh," Kakashi said. He hadn't gotten that far in his research yet. He'd been too busy trying to make sure there was no criminal activity on Naruto's route to school.
"Oh," Shinrai repeated, throwing his hands up in the air.
"So what do you want me to do?" Kakashi asked.
"Nothing," Shinrai said, "you'll just get in the way."
"In the way of what?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"I live here. I want it to be safe." It wasn't the whole truth, but it was close enough.
Shinrai studied him for a moment, weighing and measuring him, then he nodded like he'd understood all the things hadn't said as well. "I'm in the process of draining the organization of its funds. Currently I have access to most of their accounts. I've also located four of their five other bases of operations. I just need to locate the final one. After that, I can use the organization's money to hire a number of hidden villages to take care of all the locations simultaneously."
Kakashi's eyes widened. His own research hadn't even come close to that. "How do you plan on getting the hidden villages to work together to do that?"
"They won't know. Each will be hired to take out a single branch. It's too large a task for any one village to handle anyway."
"What if they don't accept the missions?"
"Hauling in a village's most wanted for years earns a lot of good will. I have enough contacts in various nation's ANBU that the missions should be given top priority. Plus, with the right amount of money, they won't be asking questions."
"Oh," Kakashi said again. That was all pretty damn impressive. He might have thought Shinrai was cute in his underwear, but he was so much more attractive right now.
"Oh," Shinrai echoed back, tone mocking.
"Okay," Kakashi said, "I'll help you find the sixth branch."
"I don't need your help," Shinrai said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"What? You want to see if you can find it before Ikuo decides to use your ass to diversify?"
Shinrai glared. "Fine," he said. "But if you fuck this up-"
"Yes, yes. Bingo book entry for me."
"I'll meet you tomorrow morning at your apartment. We can discuss intel then."
Kakashi's stomach dropped. "You know where I live?"
"Do you honestly think I'd let someone categorized as a missing-nin live in this area without knowing who they are and where they live?"
A chill ran through Kakashi's body. "What exactly do you know about me?"
Shinrai started ticking things off on his fingers. "Hatake Kakashi. Former Konoha ANBU, code name Hound. Aliases include Sukea, Enoki, Kuwa, Botan, and a few more. Current Konoha missing-nin."
Something about the way he said missing-nin made it sound like it was in air quotes.
Kakashi cocked an eyebrow and repeated it in the same tone. "Missing-nin?"
Shinrai ignored him and kept going. "Primary caretaker of a boy who greatly resembles and has the same name as the presumed dead host of Konoha's nine-tailed beast."
Kakashi's hand shifted towards his kunai holster. There was no reason anyone should know that.
"If I'd wanted to do something with that information, I would have already," Shinrai said, picking up on his agitation.
"Why haven't you?" Kakashi asked, voice low and deadly.
"Because I don't think you really are a missing-nin."
That hit Kakashi harder than he would have expected. For years now, everyone had thought he was a missing-nin, even his closest friends. He'd gone to great lengths to make sure none of them would question why he'd left.
"And why not?" Kakashi asked.
"Would Konoha let you live if you'd kidnapped their jinchuuriki?" Shinrai asked. "You see, I get a decent amount of information from the major hidden villages about their most wanted lists, and while you are definitely towards the top of Konoha's, they don't seem particularly determined to find you. They list all your supposed crimes, but kidnapping isn't one of them. There's a lot about betraying the village, but no real evidence that unquestionably points to you. Some conspiracies to assassinate the hokage, but you don't seem the type of shinobi whose plans fail often. So, I don't think you really are a missing-nin."
"Then what am I?" Kakashi asked, disturbed that someone had seen through their ruse so easily.
Shinrai shrugged. "If I had to put money on it? I'd say you're protecting that boy from something the village couldn't."
"Is that why I'm not in your book?"
"I'm not here to get innocent 10 year olds killed," Shinrai said. "So. Your place tomorrow morning after the kid leaves for school?"
Kakashi studied him for a moment. He didn't have much choice if he wanted to see this through. "Okay," he said.
"Okay," Shinrai agreed.
They stared at each other for a moment. Shinrai smiled, all faked graciousness and counterfeit civility. Kakashi took that as his cue to leave, though he did so with more questions than he'd just gotten answers.
~*~*~
Shinrai knocked on the door of Kakashi's small apartment a few minutes after Naruto had run out it.
"Shall we start?" he asked.
Kakashi shook his head. "How about you tell me your real name first? Shinrai isn't exactly fitting for a missing-nin."
"I don't see why it matters."
"You know mine."
"I found out yours. Not my fault if you didn't do your homework."
"We'll call it a matter of trust."
"Fine," he said, looking irritated. "Umino Iruka."
Kakashi blinked. "Iruka... of the S.E.A."
Iruka gave him an unimpressed look. "You use Crow as an alias too, or do you just stick with Sukea, Kakashi?"
Fair enough, Kakashi thought.
"Now, shall we start?"
He rolled out an intricate sealing scroll across Kakashi's rickety dining room table before running through a long series of hand seals. Kakashi pushed up the patch on his eye just enough to get a look at what he was doing.
"Don't even bother," Iruka said, not looking up from his work. "If anyone but me tries to open one of my intel scrolls, they explode. In a rain of fire and kunai." He glanced at Kakashi then, smile nothing but sharp politeness.
It could be a bluff. Kakashi wouldn't bet on it though.
The intel in the scroll was organized in neat piles, one each for the six branches and a seventh for money matters. Iruka had clearly been busy.
"How long have you been gathering intel?"
"About five months."
"They've been in town for less than one."
Iruka shrugged. "Who do you think suggested they move here?"
"You invited them?"
"I needed a battlefield I could control."
"But they're extorting money out of the townsfolk."
Iruka made an irritated noise. "All the shopkeepers are paying the protection fees with money that was anonymously donated to them."
"Money you took from the organization?"
"Of course."
"They're opening a brothel in town."
Iruka's face twisted in disgust. "We'll see about that. For now they'll continue to have a series of accidents that just so happen to delay the opening and lose them girls. There will be a freak kitchen fire next week that should take out the east facing wall, leave the place inoperable for at least another week, and facilitate the escape of about half a dozen of the newly arrived girls. It'll be very unfortunate."
The way he said unfortunate made it sound a lot like deserved.
"So the guards that were sampling the merchandise?" Kakashi asked.
"Oh, they were, but they might have been distracted less by that and more by a genjutsu. Sadly, now they're dead."
Sadly didn't sound like it was supposed to either.
"And the girls?"
"They're in Iwagakure. Not ideal, but the best I could do."
"And you did this all by yourself?"
Iruka leveled a look at him. "Do you see anyone else?"
"While manning the station?"
"I never man the station."
"Then who does?"
"Clones. They're sealed in scrolls. Whenever someone unlocks the door with chakra, they trigger a scroll to unseal itself."
That was... impressively resourceful. The flair of the chakra as the wards responded to someone trying to unlock them would cover the sudden increase in chakra used to unseal the clone. He doubted the office got more than one or two visitors a day. Having someone there all the time would be a waste.
"Can we move on or do you need to know more of my secrets?" Iruka asked.
Kakashi was about to tell him to continue when the door to the apartment banged open. Both Kakashi and Iruka had kunai in hand before they could blink. Iruka's other hand lingered on a complicated part of the scroll that contained the kanji for explode.
"FORGOT MY LUNCH," Naruto yelled as he ran into the room.
Kakashi sagged with relief then realized he shouldn't. He jumped between Naruto and Iruka.
"Was that really necessary?" Iruka asked, disturbingly pleasant smile back in place.
Naruto peered around him. "YOU!" he said happily, "I know you! You bought me ramen like FIVE TIMES! I mean, you were cute girls three times and sort of a chubby dude once and then a kind of sketchy looking old man once, but it was totally you, wasn't it?"
The familiar sensation of wanting to bang his head against a wall returned to Kakashi in full force. "Naruto, why did you let a sketchy looking old man buy you ramen?"
"I totally knew he was not actually a sketchy old man. He just looked like one."
Kakashi took a deep, calming breath. It didn't help. He was fairly sure it wouldn't have made a bit of difference if Iruka had actually been a sketchy old man as long as the promise of free ramen was involved.
"Why were you even in that part of town?" Kakashi asked. The town itself was safe, but that was easily the shadiest part of it.
"Well," Iruka said, "it is the best ramen in town."
Naruto nodded emphatically, completely ignored the fact that Kakashi was doing his best to act as a human shield, and walked over to Iruka, peering up at him. "I wondered what you really looked like. Cool nose scar."
Iruka grinned at him and for once it wasn't his customer service smile. Kakashi stared. He hadn't realized what a difference it would make.
"How'd you do on your history presentation?"
Naruto gave him a thumbs up. "Best in my class."
He'd gotten a 67%. Kakashi didn't correct him.
Naruto tossed down his backpack like he was going to stay. "Are you helping Kakashi find a missing-nin?"
Kakashi tried not to whimper. This wasn't going to end well.
Iruka cut Naruto off before he could get too close to the table and squatted down to his level. "It's a super secret, S-rank mission. Do you want to know how you can help?"
Naruto nodded, eyes big and serious.
Kakashi opened his mouth to protest, but Iruka was already talking.
He watched in awe as Iruka somehow managed to convince Naruto that the best thing he could possibly do was to go to school, listen to his teacher, and do all his homework. Naruto nodded solemnly through the whole thing. In no time, he had Naruto heading back to school, with his lunch and without the full blown tantrum Kakashi had been expecting.
"If you do all your homework, I'll buy you ramen again," Iruka promised.
Naruto beamed at him. "You better believe I will!"
"Not at that restaurant," Kakashi said.
Both Iruka and Naruto gave him identical looks of horror.
"BYE!" Naruto shouted before running out the door.
Kakashi stared after Naruto for a moment. Iruka had made it seem so easy.
He turned and looked at Iruka and was caught by surprise at the soft look on his face as he watched Naruto run down the street.
In the few hours he'd known Iruka, he found out the man was a wickedly smart and resourceful seals master who looked damn good in a pair of boxer briefs and was apparently great with kids. How was Kakashi supposed to fight against something like that?
"I think I love you," he said without thinking.
Iruka blinked in surprise then busted up laughing like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. Kakashi wasn't entirely sure he'd meant it as a joke, but he could deal with that later.
"Intel?" Kakashi asked.
"Intel," Iruka agreed.
Time to get down to business.
~*~*~
Iruka's intel was just as thorough and organized as his bingo books and Kakashi couldn't help but be impressed. Besides the local branch, Iruka had located bases of operations in Land of Rivers, Land of Fields, Land of Sea, and Land of Stone. It wasn't surprising that they were all in the small countries between the Five Great Nations. Much easier to conceal criminal activity when you didn't have one of the major hidden villages patrolling the area.
"I'm fairly sure the last one is in Land of Swamps," Iruka said, tracing a finger over part of the tract of land between Fire Country and Wind Country. "But it's well hidden. I haven't been able to get an exact location yet."
Kakashi wanted to groan. Land of fucking Swamps. It always had to be Land of Swamps, never Land of Hot Springs.
"I've scouted here, here, and here," Iruka said, pointing to places on the map, "but there was no sign of criminal activity in those areas. Which leaves here, here and here as the most likely locations. I was going to scout them this weekend, but if you insist on helping, that's where you should start."
Kakashi nodded. "I should be able to take one area a day and have it finished by the end of the week."
Iruka gave him a look. "Why wouldn't you just do them all at once?"
"I," Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his neck and feeling a little foolish, "need to be home in time for dinner."
"Ohhh," Iruka said, like he was suddenly realizing why all of Kakashi's targets were captured within a day's journey of their town. "Yeah, that makes sense. Umm, okay. I could watch him tonight, I guess?"
That... might actually work.
"He'll need help with homework. He's terrible at math," Kakashi warned.
"I can probably manage that," Iruka said dryly.
"And you may have to make sure he goes to school in the morning if I'm not back in time."
"I got him to go to school today, didn't I?"
Kakashi knew he should have misgivings about leaving Naruto with someone who was still essentially a stranger, and a missing-nin at that, but he didn't.
"Okay," Kakashi said, "but make sure he eats some vegetables."
"Okay," Iruka said, seeming a little surprised Kakashi was agreeing to it.
"The vegetables in ramen don't count as real vegetables."
Iruka made a face. "I know that." For a brief moment Kakashi could imagine him sticking out his tongue the way Naruto always did when he was being a brat.
"Okay. I'll try to be back by tomorrow morning at the latest."
"Okay," Iruka said.
They stood and stared at each other for a moment. Kakashi wasn't sure what the protocol for this kind of situation was.
"Good luck?" Iruka said, voice equally as unsure.
"Thanks," Kakashi said, eye smiling at him.
"Right... I'll just be going then." Iruka said, quickly resealing his scroll. He left Kakashi the map of Land of Swamps and headed towards the door. Kakashi followed after him.
"So, dinner, with vegetables, homework, bed, school if necessary," Iruka said as he stood in the doorway.
Kakashi nodded.
"Be careful. Stay safe," Iruka said and then left.
Kakashi grinned a little as he closed the door. He liked the sound of that. And he liked the idea of coming home to a slightly fuller apartment even more.
~*~*~
What Kakashi didn't like was Land of Swamps. It was a pain in the ass to navigate and always left him feeling like he smelled of swamp gas for days afterwards. When he finally did find the base of operations just past midnight, he was sorely tempted to blow it up right then and there. But he imagined how Iruka would react to that and regretfully backed away. They'd be taken care of soon enough.
He made record time on his way home, arriving in the early hours of the morning. He was greeted by the sight of Naruto doing his best starfish impression on the futon in his small bedroom and Iruka curled up under an old blanket on the couch. Kakashi didn't let himself dwell on the thought that Iruka would have been welcome to use his futon if he'd wanted.
"Hey," Iruka said as Kakashi slipped in through a window. His voice was quiet and sleep rough and more appealing than it had any right to be. "You found it."
It wasn't a question. Kakashi wouldn't be back yet if he hadn't.
Kakashi nodded confirmation anyway.
Iruka stood and Kakashi tried very hard not to watch him stretch. He didn't quite succeed.
Naruto usually slept like the dead, but they still kept their voices hushed as Kakashi explained where the branch was located, what kind of defenses he'd seen, and the best way to surround it, pointing it out on the map as he did.
Iruka nodded, taking neat, precise notes, and thankfully didn't mention the swamp smell.
When they were finished, Iruka headed for the door, eyes straying to Naruto's room.
"I promised him scrambled eggs if I was still here when he woke up, but I need to start contacting villages and organizing this thing. Tell him I have to take a raincheck?" He looked genuinely regretful.
Kakashi nodded. "Some other time?"
"Some other time," Iruka agreed, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. It was just the ghost of a smile, but it was a real one, and it made Kakashi think he wasn't just saying it to be polite.
Naruto was disappointed when he woke. "He should spend the night again soon," he grumbled.
Kakashi wanted that too, though for entirely different reasons.
~*~*~
Kakashi spent the next few days guarding a nearly empty brothel and doing their books. Iruka returned to town a handful of times between meetings with ANBU from various nations, but Kakashi was the one covering both their shifts, transforming a clone to look like Iruka while he was out of the village arranging things with his contacts.
They'd debated this part of the mission more than any other. Iruka hadn't been happy about the idea, but maintaining clones for multiple days would strain his reserves, and he'd need as much chakra as possible for extra speed during travel. It could also be an issue if something went wrong with one of the clones while Iruka was too far away to do anything about it.
"Can you even pull off a decent henge of me?" Iruka had asked, sounding doubtful. "You'll need to get all the scars right."
Kakashi didn't want to admit that Iruka walking around clad only in underwear had imprinted itself into his brain, even without using the Sharingan. That was probably better left unsaid until at least their third date. Instead, he transformed into Iruka.
Iruka circled him once. "Passable, I guess."
Kakashi smiled a terrifyingly professional sort of smile.
Iruka blinked. "I DO NOT smile like that."
Kakashi didn't argue, but after years of being on the receiving end of that smile, he was fairly sure he knew it better than Iruka ever could.
Accuracy of facial expressions aside, the henge had been declared good enough, and Kakashi had received a crash course in missing-nin accounting, which he'd passed with flying colors, leaving Iruka free to organize the attacks.
Most of Iruka's meetings were outside the village, but whenever they were closer to home, he gave Kakashi a heads up. Iruka might not think he was a priority to capture, but that didn't mean ANBU from other countries thought the same. The last thing he needed was to have a Mist hunter-nin spot him while he was trying to buy groceries.
Kakashi's ninken took turns running messages between them, though Pakkun wasn't particularly pleased at having to act like a stray as he did so.
Everything was organized in a surprisingly efficient amount of time.
"He got back early this morning," Pakkun said gruffly as Kakashi packed Naruto's lunch. "Says he'll be coming over this evening. And you owe me steak."
"He said I owe you steak?"
"He was thinking it."
"Sure he was."
"He might have asked some interesting questions about you too."
"Such as?"
Pakkun gave a doggy approximation of a shrug. "It's so hard to remember when my stomach is this empty."
Kakashi just shook his head. Of course Pakkun had figured it out, the entire pack probably had by now. They all seemed to like Iruka though, and that was a good thing.
"He also requested that you wear something tight and sleeveless."
Kakashi just shook his head. A good thing, but one that came with an excessive amount of meddling.
~*~*~
Even multiple days of seeing his clones walking around the brothel as underwear-clad Irukas didn't quite prepare Kakashi for actual underwear-clad Iruka again. Sure, he was nice to look at, but knowing he had a mind to match made the reality that much better.
Iruka walked from the office to the kitchen. His boxer briefs were dark green this time and something about the way he seemed to prefer the same colors that were in Konoha's standard uniform made Kakashi enjoy the show that much more. Kakashi realized he was probably one of the few people who fantasized about getting someone into more clothes, but the idea of Iruka in regulation blues and a vest was ridiculously appealing. If that was a weird kink, Kakashi didn't want to be normal.
He stared after Iruka, but he was subtle about it.
Arizou, the other guard on shift, snorted. "Don't even bother. That one is strictly look, don't touch."
Apparently Kakashi's subtly could use some work. He raised an eyebrow in question.
"Kaaru felt him up once, a few months back. Got 12 broken bones in his hand as a thank you. He couldn't form seals for a week, even after being healed. Great ass, but definitely not worth the effort."
Kakashi would argue that Iruka was worth a lot of effort, just not that kind.
When Iruka left the kitchen and headed back to the office, Kakashi didn't even bother trying to hide his gaze.
Arizou snorted again, turning to leave. "Your funeral, man. I'm going to check the perimeter."
Just before Iruka went down the hall into the backrooms, he shot Kakashi a grin over his shoulder. There was nothing polite or courteous about it. Kakashi felt his blood heat.
He didn't follow Iruka down the hall. That would have been foolish. But that didn't mean he didn't spend the rest of his shift thinking about it.
~*~*~
"The base in Land of Rivers will be taken care of by Fire Country, Lightning will handle Land of Fields. Water has Land of Sea. Earth Country will deal with Land of Stone, and Wind gets the pleasure that is Land of Swamps," Iruka explained that evening back in Kakashi's apartment.
"As long as it's not us," Kakashi said.
Iruka chuckled. "No, definitely not us. We'll be dealing with more local issues."
"How many guys are we looking at?"
"About 20. The benefits of it being a newly established branch. Most are genin level at best. Those should be easy enough to deal with. Ikuo and his top two are the only ones even close to jounin level, probably more like tokujou."
Kakashi nodded. That was about where he had placed them. "Any bloodline limits or specialties to look out for?"
"Kaaru has some pretty nasty fire jutsu, but that won't be a problem after tomorrow."
Something in Kakashi's mind clicked. "The freak kitchen fire?"
Iruka grinned, sly and wicked. "Such a tragedy they'll misidentified the cause."
"Remind me never to piss you off."
Iruka's grin just got wider and a lot more wicked. "I don't know, you might enjoy making it up to me."
Kakashi's stomach tightened. He was entirely sure he would.
They stared at each other for a moment. If they didn't need to take down a missing-nin organization in the next few days, there were a lot of other things he'd enjoy doing. But they did, and all that could wait until after. Kakashi broke the moment and turned back to the map.
"Meet here Friday night?" Kakashi asked, pointing out a location on a map of the town.
Iruka nodded. "Water Country will start its assault on the Land of Sea branch at dawn. If we want to strike at the same time, we'll need to attack about two hours before dawn here."
"Around midnight then, for a few hours of surveillance before we attack?"
"Sounds good," Iruka said, starting to pack up his intel. He'd just gotten everything resealed into his scroll when the apartment door crashed open.
"I'M HOME!" Naruto yelled. "OH! IRUKA!"
"I was just leaving," Iruka said.
"You're not staying for dinner?" Naruto asked. If Iruka had sounded a little disappointed, Naruto sounded a lot more.
Iruka glanced at Kakashi, unsure.
Kakashi shrugged. "It won't be anything fancy."
"I know he just looks like a pervert, but Kakashi can cook. Even if it is all gross, healthy stuff."
"Well," Iruka said with a laugh, "how could I turn down gross, healthy stuff?"
"You can't turn it down," Naruto said, looking disgusted and long-suffering. "He won't even let you give the worst of the vegetables to his dogs."
"How terribly mean of him," Iruka said, voice serious but his eyes were glittering with laughter.
Kakashi turned towards the kitchen before he could do anything stupid. As he made dinner, Iruka helped Naruto with his homework, having far more patience than Kakashi ever had for walking Naruto through the finer points of pages of math problems.
Dinner was a lot of Naruto's wild stories from the day, most of which Kakashi hoped were exaggerated, and a side of vegetables, which Naruto didn't even complain too much about eating once he saw Iruka was digging right in.
It was ridiculous how easily he could get used to this.
"Midnight on Friday?" Iruka asked in confirmation as he was leaving. It was under his breath, but apparently not quiet enough.
"What's happening at midnight on Friday?" Naruto asked.
Kakashi wanted to groan. "It's a grownup thing?" he tried.
Naruto looked between them, eyes narrowing. "Are you going on a date?"
Kakashi choked.
"Yes," Iruka said, "It's a date. A grownup, boring date." His cheeks were red. Kakashi hadn't realized blushing could be so attractive before seeing Iruka do it.
"Good," Naruto said. "Kakashi is so old. It's about time he settled down."
Kakashi's eyes wanted to pop out of his head. So old? Time to settle down? What was Naruto's school teaching him?
But Iruka just laughed. "We'll have to work on that." The gleam in his eyes was mischievous in a very promising way.
Naruto nodded in agreement. Apparently, it wasn't just the ninken who were meddling.
~*~*~
The brothel had its freak kitchen fire the next day. True to Iruka's word, most of the girls managed to escape in the resulting chaos and Kaaru was very quickly no longer a problem.
When Kakashi turned up for his shift the following day, a strong breeze was blowing through the building and he had even less to guard than usual.
While Arizou was out checking the perimeter again, Iruka took a route to what was left of the kitchen that put him right in Kakashi's personal space.
"Enjoying your shift?" he asked.
"Parts of it," Kakashi said, eyes flicking down Iruka's body.
Iruka leaned closer, one hand sliding up the baggy sleeve of Kakashi's coat and pressing the signs for ready and tonight into his forearm.
Kakashi swallowed hard. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this attracted to someone. He wanted to blame at least part of it on the complete lack of a sex life he'd had over the last six years. Being a single guardian to a jinchuuriki didn't exactly leave him much time for relationships. But he was fairly sure it was just all Iruka.
Yes, he signed against the warm skin of Iruka's left hip, just above the band of his underwear. Yes, he was ready. Yes, he'd be there tonight. Yes to whatever Iruka wanted.
Iruka's grin made his pulse race. He pulled away and walked back towards the office.
All Kakashi could do was stare.
~*~*~
Meeting Iruka that night did feel a little bit like a date. Kakashi couldn't get the idea of it out of his head. As far as dates went, it was pretty appealing. Him and Iruka, taking down missing-nin, maybe falling into bed together afterwards. He could get used to dates like that.
In the cold, early hours of the morning, they waited, breath fogging the air. Kakashi could feel heat coming off Iruka's body from where he was crouched next to him.
They watched the base, but there was no real activity.
"Tell me your story," Kakashi said quietly, "and I'll tell you mine."
Iruka let out a soft, amused huff of breath. "I already know yours."
"Not all of it."
"Okay," Iruka said and took a few breaths like he was steadying himself. Kakashi waited.
"My family was from Land of Whirlpools. They fled just before Uzushiogakure was destroyed, but that was half a dozen years before I was even born."
"That explains the fuuinjutsu," Kakashi said. The entire village had been wiped out because other nations feared how good Uzushiogakure ninjas were with sealing jutsu.
Iruka nodded. "My parents were very good at it. They taught me most of what they knew."
"Naruto's mother was from there. I think she was about 8 when it happened."
Iruka nodded again, like he knew that already. "It was a small village. We might be distantly related."
"So why didn't they come to Konoha with the other refugees?"
Iruka shrugged. "They never said, but I don't think they trusted it not to happen again. Instead, they started hunting down other missing-nin to make ends meet."
Kakashi understood that part all too well.
"They didn't like the way bounty stations operated, so they started their own." He paused for a long moment before he spoke again. "They were killed by a missing-nin six years ago. I took over the business from then."
"You were, what? 16?"
Iruka nodded. "It took me a while to get the hang of it."
"You seemed to have everything under control by the time I got here."
"Yeah, but the first year was rough."
Kakashi nodded, the first year had been tough for him and Naruto too. "Okay," he said, "but there's still one thing I want to know.'
"What?" Iruka asked, a little wary.
"Why let Ikuo think you're pocketing money from his office?"
Iruka laughed. "Have you ever known an honest missing-nin accountant?"
"Fair point."
"As long as he thinks I'm just skimming off the top of the piles, he doesn't look too closely at the books. If I hadn't walked out with a couple pocketfuls of cash in the beginning, they never would have trusted me."
"Too honest to trust?"
"Exactly."
Missing-nin logic, Kakashi would never truly get it. It was about as flawless as 5-year-old logic.
"Alright," Iruka said, "your turn. How did one of Konoha's most feared ANBU become a missing-nin?"
"There's a division inside Konoha's ANBU that isn't controlled by the hokage. About 6 years ago, a friend of mine was in it. He was ordered to kill me to get this," Kakashi said, tapping his eye patch, "but defected instead. He knew the division had plans to take Naruto and harness the power of the Nine-Tails. He didn't have all the details though, and he didn't know everyone in the division, so the Third didn't know who he could trust."
"Except you."
Kakashi looked off into the distance. "Naruto was four at the time. His father used to be my teacher, I guarded his mother before he was born."
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Iruka nodding like he could read between Kakashi's lines. None of them had family of their own anymore.
"So an incident was arranged. Naruto was presumed dead, I was labeled a missing-nin. We wandered for about a year, but that's no life for a kid. Naruto is pretty much just a bottomless pit of a stomach. I needed to find a job that paid decently, but there's not a lot of work I'm good at, so..." Kakashi spread his hands in front of him. Tada! Here I am. Bounty hunting was the only thing he was really qualified to do.
"When it was clear you planned on staying, I was going to take you in. Or at least try," Iruka admitted. "I followed you for a few days."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow, he'd had no idea. There had always been a chance someone might come after him, but he hadn't considered S.E.A. a threat. "What changed your mind?"
"I saw you bring Naruto to his first day of school. You looked so stressed and nervous about the whole thing, I couldn't imagine you being as bad as the rumors said you were, that you'd care that much about a kid that wasn't even your own if you really were a cold-blooded killer. So I started to do some research and realized things didn't add up."
Kakashi had been a mess of nerves about sending Naruto to school. It didn't surprise him that someone had managed to follow him without being noticed around that time. "Well," he said, "I'm glad you didn't try to kill me."
"Capture," Iruka corrected, "not kill. And me too."
They fell into silence for a few moments, still night settling around them.
"For how long?" Iruka finally asked.
Kakashi looked over at him.
"How long do you need to keep him away from Konoha?"
Kakashi shrugged. "Until the division is eliminated or he's old enough to protect himself."
"Then what?"
"Home, hopefully." Kakashi was surprised by how much longing had managed to creep into the word.
"Home," Iruka echoed, like he was trying out the word in his mouth. "I've never had a village I could call home."
"You could," Kakashi said before he could stop himself. "Konoha still has amnesty for Uzushiogakure shinobi."
They trailed into silence again, but from the slightly distant look in Iruka's eyes, he was turning the idea over in his head.
~*~*~
For Kakashi, the hardest part of taking down Ikuo and his men wasn't their numbers or skill level, it was the fact that Iruka kept doing things. Interesting things with seals and scrolls that left Kakashi all kinds of curious. More than once he had to remind himself to focus on his opponents, not Iruka.
The way Iruka fought was fascinating. While he wasn't the strongest or fastest ninja Kakashi had ever seen, he'd clearly learned how to work around his limitations. He had offensive tags in a wide variety, defensive scrolls that absorbed major attacks, and more than a few tricks to get missing-nin exactly where he wanted them. He was particularly good at trapping targets with barrier seals and was more than willing to set Kakashi up for a kill even if he didn't seem keen on doing it himself.
If Kakashi hadn't had a crush before, he most certainly would be developing one now.
Iruka activated a String Light Formation under the feet of three missing-nin, stopping it just short of Kakashi's position. Their eyes met and Iruka grinned like he'd just handed Kakashi a present to unwrap. Then he turned to meet another of Ikuo's men, trusting Kakashi to handle the situation. With the missing-nin's movements limited, it didn't take much effort.
Kakashi had thought they'd make a good team. He'd been wrong.
They made the perfect team.
It wasn't long before all the missing-nin were captured or killed. Iruka had even brought enough transport scrolls to make clean up quick and easy.
The only bad thing about the whole situation was that Iruka spent most of the next week out of town, dealing with paperwork in other countries and taking captured missing-nin back to their home villages.
It'd been a long time since Kakashi had someone to miss, but Iruka seemed like he could become that person very quickly.
~*~*~
"So," Kakashi asked after Iruka had finally returned, "do I get half of the reward for Ikuo?"
Iruka just laughed. "No, but I'll buy you and Naruto dinner in celebration."
Kakashi wasn't even surprised when dinner ended up meaning ramen. Naruto was thrilled.
"Kakashi doesn't buy me ramen when he takes down a bad guy," Naruto said, sending him a glare.
"We'll have to see if we can change that bad habit then," Iruka said, winking at Kakashi over Naruto's head.
Naruto nodded in agreement.
Kakashi had to admit it was pretty good ramen. Konoha had better, but he'd wait to surprise Iruka with that.
"Tell me the truth," he said. "You located the office here just to be close to this restaurant, didn't you?"
Iruka didn't deny it, he just smiled, mischievous and real. "I also enjoy a good onsen."
"There is no way that place next door is good."
"Don't knock it until you try it."
Kakashi gave him a disbelieving look.
"They have private rooms you can rent."
There was more promise in those words than Kakashi could ever have hoped for. His heartbeat raced a little faster.
"I suppose I should give it a try then."
Iruka's grin had a wicked edge to it that Kakashi liked far too much.
Naruto looked back and forth between them, half confusion, half like he was wondering if he should be grossed out.
"Konoha has pretty decent hot springs," Kakashi said casually before he turned back to his bowl of noodles.
"I might have to check them out someday," Iruka said, tone still teasing.
Naruto kicked Kakashi hard under the table in a move he clearly thought was a subtle nudge and made big, meaningful eyes at Kakashi.
Iruka definitely noticed if the way he was trying to hide his smile by taking another bite was any indication.
Kakashi didn't need the nudge, he was already thinking the same thing.
In a few more years, Konoha could be home for all of them.
But until then, they'd take down every missing-nin they could find. Even if they were in Land of Swamps.
~*~*~
~Epilogue~
"Forget to check something this morning?" Iruka asked, dropping a basket of laundry in front of where Kakashi was sitting on the couch. His tone was torn between amusement and exasperation. It was the same one he'd used the time Naruto had hidden half a dozen senbon up his jacket sleeve, forgotten about them, then managed to add ventilation holes to an entire load of laundry. That had been nearly two years ago.
A quick glance at the basket's contents confirmed Kakashi's suspicions. What should have been clothing was nothing but a mass of wet shreds.
Kakashi groaned. "What did he have in his pockets this time?"
"Makibishi," Iruka said as he flopped down on the couch, settling against him with well-accustomed ease. "My favorite sweatpants were in there."
Iruka's favorite sweatpants had been soft and thin from wear and loose enough they slid off his hips with even the slightest tug. They'd been Kakashi's favorite sweatpants too.
"Sorry," Kakashi said with a wince. After years of doing Naruto's laundry, he should know better.
Iruka shifted closer, brushing his lips along the shell of Kakashi's ear. "You'll just have to make it up to me."
Kakashi shivered. R.I.P., sweatpants, your sacrifice was not in vain.
"Anything you want," Kakashi said, sliding a hand under Iruka's shirt.
"New clothes, for a start," Iruka teased.
"How do you feel about blue?" Kakashi asked, not missing a beat. "Maybe red whirlpools on the sleeves?"
Iruka glanced at him sideways and grinned. "Are you suggesting matching outfits?"
"Maybe."
"I could possibly be persuaded."
Kakashi grinned back. It was about time for them to go home.
~*~*~