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Inferior.
Eddie Cheng did not like this word and he liked it less coming from the mouth of a therapist. She didn’t seem to mind, scribbling away on her pad. Next to him, Fiona was resolute. He reminds himself that he is doing this for her and their children as much as himself. He had high expectations a year ago, assuming he would be able to get all of Ah Ma’s fortune. In the name of that, he did an unfavorable thing, almost causing Ah Ma to never see his cousin Nick, her favorite again. It was cruel and he recognized that now, but he remembered his resolve, his drive and his needs.
A year ago, though, he was a different person. When he let all his frustrations out, Fiona took control. He forgot how good Fiona was at taking control. She bowed to him for so long in their marriage, taking his abuses, but when she had enough, he was terrified. He is still terrified of losing her. He married her because of who she was. No, that wasn’t right. That made it sound like she was married because of dynastic advantages, but he had to fight for her. He had forgotten that.
Of course, he reminds himself now, he didn’t have to fight like Nick did for Rachel. He isn’t sure anyone had to fight for their wife as much as Nick did, though he’s sure he is most certainly wrong about that.
“That’s all the time we have for now,” says the therapist in her usual measured tone, “I will see you next week.”
Eddie thanks her and follows Fiona out. He is following Fiona around a lot these days, but he doesn’t mind. It’s all thanks to her that his life is not falling apart. It is thanks to her he was even able to attend Alistair’s wedding. He had frozen Alistair out for a short while after his breakdown and she insisted on mending it. Such was Fiona’s power; she could talk him into anything.
He never let her do it before a year ago and that fact nearly destroyed their marriage. Back then, he recognized his wrongs that he’d done to her and to his children. He had called it off with his then-mistress, proclaiming that he didn’t need her anymore. After all, he’d had his mistresses for the prestige of having a mistress. Didn’t all rich and powerful men have mistresses their wives ignored, he reasoned before he had reason.
Fiona played the wife of a well-to-do man well enough. She wasn’t subservient even then, but she looked the other way. Eddie realizes this is because she loved him, all of him, even when he was difficult to love.
“I don’t know how you did it,” he recalled his cousin Oliver saying to her a few months ago.
“Because I knew who he could be,” Fiona told him, “and he has resolved to be that man.”
He didn’t deserve Fiona. He doesn’t deserve her, but he is trying to.
“Are we getting the children from my mother?”
“No,” Fiona says, “we’re meeting Alistair, remember?”
He didn’t remember, but he nods. He is trying to get to know Alistair better, to be a better brother. He recalls how acidic and unforgiving he was over the Kitty Pong incident. Alistair was gutted; he wanted to give Kitty everything, but she saw Bernard Tai had more to give. Karma got her, but now she was married to another well-to-do man and Eddie suspected her of having to do with Tyersall Park’s transformation. Alistair wouldn’t say and nor would Nick, but that secret investor had to be her.
Kitty Pong-Tai-Bing is a force to be reckoned with, Eddie knows. None of them could have expected it. Even Fiona disliked her, but now they seemed to be striking up a friendship. Rachel likes her too. Alistair’s new wife, Peik Lin, is fine with her as well.
Eddie is sure this is because she helped them save Tyersall Park.
“I think Peik Lin is pregnant,” Fiona is saying to someone on the phone.
His focus snaps to her; he doesn’t know who is on the other line.
“Yes, yes,” Fiona continues, “I know, but you should have heard Alistair’s voice when he called Eddie.”
Eddie thinks back to the phone call. Alistair did seem to be happy, but Eddie didn’t notice anything different. He assumes he is still not attuned to others’ emotions. He is still, after all, a work in progress.
Fiona laughs at whoever is on the line once before hanging up.
“Who was that?” Eddie isn’t accusatory. “Was it Astrid?”
Fiona calls Astrid frequently. Astrid is living presumably her best life with her lover and her son. He never talks to her when she calls. They still have a lot to work out and it’s hard when she is away, but they were cordial at Alistair’s wedding. Eddie even extended an olive branch to Charlie, that lover. He knows her mother sees it as living in sin, but for his part, he is happy she is happy. That is a strange feeling.
Fiona replaces her phone in her handbag, smoothing her hair. She is wearing it down, the way he likes it best. “No, it was Rachel.”
Rachel, Eddie recalls, is Peik Lin’s best friend. He forgets this. They have all become inexplicably entwined. This is the way, he supposes, family should be. He also supposes he likes Rachel. She is refreshingly American, he notes. Nick usually rolls his eyes if he ever says this, but it’s in a good-natured way. Nick recognizes Eddie is trying.
“Are you taking bets on whether or not Peik Lin is pregnant?”
Fiona regards him with a look he doesn’t quite understand. “God, no, Eddie, what do you take us for? I was only telling her what I thought!”
“It sounded like you were certain.”
“Alistair’s voice convinced me I am 98% right.” There’s still a margin for error, is what she doesn’t say. “I’ve been wrong before though.”
His breakdown did wonders for his marriage and isn’t that something, Eddie thinks. He would never have expected that, but he is glad of it.
“Wouldn’t you be happy to be an uncle?”
“Of course!” Eddie considers what kind of cigars he might get Alistair if it’s true. Would Alistair expect such a thing? Would he want such a thing? These are the questions he must ask himself now. The therapist recommended it, so he is doing it. “I will be very happy for Alistair and Peik Lin too.”
Fiona softens; he likes it when she is tender. She’s so polished, the perfect banker’s wife, of course, but he enjoys the relationship they have now. She’s so much more than his wife, like she should be.
“I think our children would be glad to welcome a new cousin into the family.” Eddie says now. “Nicky told me Rachel is expecting, you know, but I haven’t said anything to them.”
He knows Fiona is already aware Rachel is pregnant (this is a secret between only cousins, Auntie Eleanor hasn’t been informed just yet), but he is happy to remind himself that Nick talks to him. For so long, Nick was his rival, but now they can be family as intended. He suggested cigars to Nick when he told them, but he only laughed, saying that Eddie’s happiness for him and Rachel was all he wanted.
Nick is funny, Eddie thinks presently, and they couldn’t be more different. Even as he changes some aspects of his life, he still wants all the fine things in life, but one wouldn’t catch him yelling at Fiona or the children over a magazine spread. That isn’t important anymore, though he wouldn’t pass up the time to be featured. He still wants to be successful.
“We’re here.” Fiona tells him and they leave the back of the black car she insisted on ordering last year. It is used, something he never would have deigned to ride in before, but he knows he was expected to step back. Labels and newness are not the important things. That’s what the car was meant to teach him.
They take the lift up to Alistair and Peik Lin’s apartment. It is a penthouse, of course, because Peik Lin is accustomed to the finer things in life, just like Eddie. He very much likes his sister-in-law and is pleased that it appears to be mutual.
Unlike the Goh family home, though, it does not resemble Versailles. It’s tastefully appointed in an elegant but monochrome way. Eddie thinks this must be Peik Lin removing the gold and mirrors from her life. Alistair himself seems to be quite content.
“Hello! Welcome!” Peik Lin says cheerfully as they step off the lift, its glass doors opening right up into their living room. From the floor-to-ceiling windows, the city sparkles.
Peik Lin sparkles, Eddie realizes, and for the first time, he finds himself thinking it must be true. Isn’t that what they say about pregnant women, the glowing, the content? Eddie doesn’t remember much from Fiona’s pregnancies. He was still very much about himself then, but he thinks Rachel glows too, almost effusive, from within. He keeps these thoughts to himself though. It is too left field for him to say those things.
Alistair emerges from the kitchen and Eddie smiles; Alistair has been so happy the last year and it’s good to see him getting through everything. The devastated look on his face is still carved out in Eddie’s mind from when Kitty and Bernard crashed out of privacy into Colin and Araminta’s wedding and Kitty’s betrayal was evident for everyone. Eddie felt for him even then, but it wasn’t within his wheelhouse to comfort his brother. He’d teased him and possibly belittled him. He was unkind and he assumes he will spend the rest of his life making it up to him.
“How are you?” Eddie asks, a little tentative. Being truly brotherly is still hard because he feels like he could switch back to what he now considers Asshole Mode so easily. He hates that about himself. He wishes he could flip a switch to be the brother that Alistair deserves.
“Oh,” Alistair grins, “I’m great.”
“Marriage suits you,” says Fiona, “but I’m not surprised.”
“I always thought he was more of a playboy so I am surprised.” Peik Lin says, mostly teasing, though it’s true. Alistair could be a playboy, but that’s in the past. Both Cheng brothers are improving.
“Well, he’s a good husband now. That’s what matters, isn’t it?”
Eddie wouldn’t be surprised if Fiona isn’t just talking about Alistair. Peik Lin smiles in a way that tells Eddie she is thinking the same.
“Yeah,” she agrees, “it is. Do you want tea or anything?”
Peik Lin is a perfect hostess like Fiona herself.
“No,” Fiona says, speaking for both of them, “that’s fine.”
Eddie remembers doing the same, but it was to Fiona’s denigration, not because he knew that was the real answer. Fiona is attuned to him. The very thought makes him content.
“Let’s sit.” Alistair suggests and the four of them settle into the pair of plush sofas before them.
They still afford a view of the glittering city, of course.
“So,” Fiona prompts, “did you go to that spa Araminta was talking about?”
Eddie’s mind drifts away as they discuss spa getaways. He would hate this before, but now he doesn’t care. He’s content to listen to the hum of their voices even if he’s not entirely engaged in the conversation. He turns to his attention to Alistair who is leaning against Peik Lin, one hand curled around one of hers. His own hand itches towards Fiona, but he resists it. This feels like his old competitive edge slipping in and less a true desire to hold Fiona’s hand. He doesn’t want to one up Alistair anymore. He wants to be the kind of brother that Alistair can call up and know he won’t be degraded or teased.
“We have news.” Peik Lin’s voice brings him back to the conversation. “I think you might have guessed it.”
“If I have, can I say congratulations then?” Fiona says, smiling.
“Congratulations are in order.” Alistair beams. “It’s not just a baby.”
“That one I didn’t see coming! It’s twins then?”
“Yes!” Peik Lin all but squeals.
Before Eddie would recoil, but he feels a true smile bloom on his face. “That’s amazing! Congratulations certainly! We’ll have to throw you a party.”
“Oh,” Alistair says cautiously, “you don’t need to.”
Eddie recognizes that his brother is still uncertain of him and his intentions. “I insist,” he says, “please.”
Alistair gives him a long look and then his own face relaxes into a smile, the luminosity of an expectant father. “Then,” he begins, “just tell us when and where.”
Alistair knows he’s trying and that means everything. “I’ll need your guest list.”
“Just the family.”
They met eyes and Eddie sees the crinkly lines of happiness under his brother’s eyes. “Even Cecilia?” Eddie says, hoping he catches that he’s joking.
“As long as she doesn’t bring a horse as her date,” laughs Alistair.
A tightness lets go in Eddie’s chest.
We’re on our way.
“You’ll need a registry list.” Fiona says. “We’ll help you with it. We’ve got some experience.”
Eddie smiles at his wife, then at his sister-in-law and finally at his brother.
This is the thing. This is what it truly means to lead a rich life and he is grateful he is not too late.
“We’ll also need to discuss names.” Eddie says to the laughter of his family. “I have some ideas …”