Guide Me

by TightyWrities

Summary:

Lance, a blind college student, and his adventures in life. With his two best friends and his guide dog, he'd say he's doing pretty alright. But what's one more interesting character thrown into his life? After one of his most embarrassing moments in a coffee shop, he gets to experience the kindness of a perfect stranger.

Notes:

You can find fic updates on my twitter! @idontgiveadango :)

This one might get a little bit dark, but I try to keep it light most of the way through! The main course is Shance, but enjoy the Hunk/Pidge appetizer~

Chapter 1: I don't need help.

“So did you pick your major yet?” Hunk spoke around a mouthful of potato chips, Lays Original of course. The crunching sound used to annoy Lance, but now he almost enjoyed it. The way Hunk would chew his food said quite a bit about the other man. Angry chewing was quick and harsh, each bite met with teeth clicking harshly. If he was happy or relaxed, it was a slow chew and usually included some babbling with his mouth full. Lance lifted his sunglasses off of his face maybe an inch, wiping the sweat away before pushing them higher on his nose.

“No way dude, too many options.” Lance laughed softly as he spoke, bouncing his knee lightly. “Can’t decide between photography or painting…” He snickered.

“Yeah yeah, very funny.” Hunk shook his head, standing up to throw his trash away. “But really, we aren’t going to be college freshmen forever y’know?” Hunk walked away to the bin, leaving Lance to just sort of listen to his surroundings.

 

Lance tuned in on the several different footstep patterns around himself, the heavy steppers, the light steppers, someone was skipping for God’s sake, then he heard the familiar steps of- “Pidge!! Jeez, I thought you for sure died in that midterm. We already had your funeral all planned out, Blue was gunna spread your ashes in the dog park.”

Pidged laughed, then flicked Lance’s ear. “Oh please, I wasn’t gone that long. Besides, have you seen Iverson’s midterms?? They’re inhumane...”

“ No, I obviously have not.” Lance stood up as well, adjusting his glasses once again before strategically backing out from where he had been sitting. Blue, his 2yr old Great Pyrenees, stood quickly and backed out of her area while maintaining a left-side heel the entire time. Lance sorta fumbled to find the leather coated guide handle on Blue’s neon-pink harness, grumbling softly when he felt Pidge lift it to his fingertips. “I don’t need help-”

“There’s a crowd of people coming up to your left so it’s better than her getting trampled isn’t it?” Pidge sighed. “Sorry. Did you guys still want to get coffee? I know it’s later than usual but, eh. It’s ritual.” Hunk softly ‘mhm’d and Lance nodded his head.

“Yes please, I don’t think I could decline even if I wanted to.” Lance waited until the crowd passed, and until he heard Pidge and Hunk walking ahead of him.

Hunk snapped his fingers, speaking softly, “Blue, follow.” and Lance felt himself being gently led around by his guide dog. She paused at each step, pushed or pulled to either side to avoid obstacles and keep him safe. With his friends nearby, she really didn’t have to work as hard as she did, but it was comforting to Lance that she still did her job- and did it well. As Lance, Pidge and Hunk walked to their favorite coffee hut, each of them groaned at least once, each time some dumb student excitedly shouted ‘puppy!!!’ or ‘can I pet her!?’ despite the numerous patches on Blue’s harness expressing that they could not. It was something the trio was unfortunately used to.

 

Upon arriving at the shop, Hunk held the door open, Pidge walked in first, Lance entering after her and dropping the guide handle. He looped the thick, leather cross-body leash up over one shoulder and across his torso. It was easier in tighter spaces to just use that rather than the actual harness bar. Besides, he was in a familiar area with minimal obstacles, so he felt secure enough to move around mostly on his own. Lance stepped up to get in line, putting Blue into a front block to keep him from stepping too far forward and running into someone while waiting for it to be his turn.

“Evening, sir! What’ll it be today?” Sir? Sir? What the hell? Lance suddenly frowned.

Lance hummed quietly. “You don’t sound like Jamie.” He put a hand up on the counter, fishing his wallet out of his pocket with his other hand. “You can call me Lance since it’s my name and all.” The character behind the counter softly laughed and Lance smiled again. That was a nice laugh. He’d definitely store it away in the memory banks. “Your name is..?”

“Shiro. Nice to meet you, Lance. I’m assuming you come here often?” He could hear Shiro tapping his fingers on the counter, so Lance traced his fingers along the cards in his wallet. He had a punch card here somewhere…

“I do, yeah. Every day. Meaning you probably started here this morning, right?” Lance smirked. “Welcome to the Altea campus, dude. Anyways, I’ll have a white chocolate mocha frappe, whip cream, extra caramel, and white chocolate syrups, almond milk sub...and that. Is my usual.” He grinned, sliding his punch card across the counter as well as his debit card. Lance didn’t carry cash on him anymore, even when he was out with friends. Too many dishonest people who took advantage of him being unable to see the bills he had or was given.

“Oh! Actually, your coffee today is free. So…” Lance heard the man punch a new card with one lil weird shaped punch. He still hadn’t figured out what it was supposed to be and he didn’t want to look stupid and ask. Shiro slid both the new punch card and the debit card back over. “That’ll be right out, Lance!”

Lance reached out for the cards, hands shaking just a bit when he tried to grab them and put them into his wallet. He could tell Shiro was about to try and help- so he swiped the cards off and just stuffed them into his pocket. “Thanks.”

 

Blue led him over to the second counter, where Lance waited patiently for his coffee order. He listened to Hunk order for himself and Pidge, blinking a couple of times behind his shades.

“Lance!” Lance’s ears twitched and he walked toward the counter.

“Thank you, Niko.” Lance grabbed his blended coffee, always appreciating that this specific worker held the cup a little longer than anyone else to assure that Lance had a good grip on it. “Blue, find seat.” He sighed as Blue led him around, rolling his eyes when it took her longer to find a place to sit, assuming she was just being ditsy. “Find seat, Blueberry.”

But then Hunk was behind him with a warm hand between his shoulder blades. Like he’d been holding his own hot coffee in that hand. “It’s packed dude, we’ll have to go up a level or sip outside.” Lance shrugged, letting Hunk know that he didn't care either way.

“I don’t really mind where we sit. It kinda smelled like it was gunna rain here soon when we were walking over.” Lanced shifted his weight from one foot to the other, popping his hip out as his little kick-stand.

“Let me grab Pidge and we can head upstairs then. I know better than to doubt your weatherman skills.” Hunk and Lance both laughed softly before Lance was left there with his pup. He idly played with her fur while he waited for the pair to come back to him. Blue wasn’t great at finding an elevator on her own, and Lance wasn’t feeling like walking around aimlessly when it would cost less energy and time to just wait for the others. He heard some loud chatting to his left. Some annoying girls talking about a cute boy they’d seen. To his right, a young kid was reading a book to her mom. He heard someone texting loudly on their phone-

 

Suddenly Lance was knocked backward by a blunt force to his chest, causing him to hit his head hard against the wall before plopping onto the floor. Having squeezed his coffee on the way down, it erupted onto his face and all down his chest. He gasped loudly, it was cold as hell, and now he was soaked. He had no idea who or what hit him, but he was immediately burning with embarrassment and irritability.

“Lance!!” Pidge ran over, grabbing Lance’s cup and probably throwing it away before helping him up. Then she turned her attention toward whatever knocked him over. “Can’t you watch where you’re going, dude!?” He heard her shove this ‘dude’ and tried to reassure her that it was alright, reaching out to touch her shoulder or back or something, but she was too far away and he knew he looked so stupid right now covered in frappuccino.

“Well maybe if he wasn’t taking up the entire walkway...besides, it was an accident okay!? I can buy him another.” The guy huffed, he had the temerity to act as if this was some huge inconvenience to him. Even though Lance was now shivering and very close to needing to hide in a bathroom.

“Hey, it’s fine really, no big deal. You didn’t mean it- I can get cleaned up in the washroom…” He fumbled again for the guide bar, hand shaking. Once again, there was a sudden contact at Lance’s back. He hated that. He hated when things unexpectedly touched him. But this time it was warm and comforting.

“Hey! That was a nasty fall, are you okay?” Shiro. “Here, a warm wet cloth should at least lift most of the frappe out. They’re already making you another so don’t even worry about it.” Lance sighed, taking the cloth and wiping where he felt the freezing cold liquid.

“Thanks…” He tried to turn his face as best he could in the direction of Shiro’s voice. “You didn’t have to do that…”

“I know, but I did. And I think your girl might need a bath later…” Lance furrowed his brows, reaching out to touch Blue. Oh god. She was absolutely covered in coffee. How could one 16oz cup spill this much shit everywhere!? He let out a snort, then full on laughed. He was embarrassed, horribly embarrassed, but by laughing it off he could pretend that the tears in his eyes were a result of his laughter. Shiro hummed, taking the cloth from Lance’s hand and wiping at his face gently. “You sure your head is okay? That was a pretty loud smack.”

“I’m sure I’ll be okay. What’s the worst that could happen? Think it’ll make me blind?” For a moment Shiro stopped laughing, but Hunk cracked a snorty laugh and Shiro followed suit.

“I admire that you can find humor in this kind of situation..” Shiro set the cloth down. “You know what, I actually have a spare shirt. I usually hate going home covered in the coffee smell. I used to bring a spare all the time when I worked at the other coffee shops in town, just so happened to remember to do it today too. I’ll be right back!” Shiro ran off before Lance could stop him, then he turned to try and find Hunk. But Hunk was right on top of it, a hand against his back as soon as he’d turned around.

“Dude- he is so nice. And cute too.” Hunk snickered and Lance groaned at him.

“Can we just get the hell out of here before I cause something worse..?” Lance’s voice was shaking, so Hunk reached out to take his hand. Hearing that this Shiro guy was a total cutie definitely didn’t make it better. If anything, it was worse. Embarrassing himself in front of this supposedly hot barista guy? No thanks. But it was too late for that.

“It’s alright, dude. Let him get that spare shirt. We can wash it tonight and bring it back tomorrow morning or something. Then we will go upstairs and have our coffee.”

 

Shiro brought the shirt, and the replacement coffee for Lance, who had thanked him plenty. Hunk got Shiro’s number so they could return the shirt later on, and upstairs they went. Lance sunk into his seat, Blue tucking under their table with her tail underneath one of her hind legs. Lance took a moment to breathe and settle, to calm his shaking hands before he spoke.

“Is anyone else up here?”

“No. We’re on level three so that we could be alone.” Pidge was tapping her toe on one of the table legs, Hunk drumming with his fingers on the back of his phone case.

Lance still had the damp rag, so he peeled his sticky shirt off and put it in his bag, wiped his chest, shoulders, neck, face, then put on the new shirt. “Backwards?” He got two ‘no’s so he left it. “Thanks, guys. For your help down there…”

“Of course, Lance. You know we are always here to help. Besides, that guy was a total dickweed. How do you completely miss a lanky string bean and his 110lbs dog.”

“Excuse you, Blue is 103lbs thank you.” Lance sighed. “Let’s not talk about it anymore. I’m already traumatized as is…” He rubbed the back of his head, which definitely felt like it would get a lump if the headache that pulsed to the surface was any indication.

 

On the way back to the dorms, Lance couldn’t help but quietly laugh a little bit every time he caught a whiff of his coffee-dog. Thinking of his poor guide dog covered in coffee just like he was, what a sight they must have been. At some point, Pidge parted ways with the boys, kissing Hunk goodbye, and giving Lance a quick hug, telling him to have a good evening and such. As much as she picked on him, he knew she cared and it meant a lot to him that he was surrounded with people he loved and trusted. She just showed it in her own special and slightly aggressive way.

Hunk and Lance walked back to their dorm quietly, Hunk hooking his arm with Lance’s as they went up the stairs. Lance let Blue off her leash and harness so she could freely walk through the halls. She stayed close, but he couldn’t imagine having to keep that gear on all day. Besides, with Hunk, and even ground, he didn’t have to worry about running into anything. According to various descriptions from Hunk and Pidge both, the halls weren’t decorated with much anyways. Once inside the dorm, Lance relaxed. He knew this room like the back of his hand. He knew exactly where Hunk kicked off each pair of shoes. Which cords were across which sections of the room, and thank god he knew where his bed was. He ran for it, jumping and plopping onto the mattress with a loud groan.

“Please tell me you’re going to be the nicest roommate ever and help me wash the Berry..?” He whined a little bit for added effect. Hunk laughed for a moment and mumbled his ‘yes’ before calling Blue to him to remove her collar.

“Poor girl, did your daddy spill on ya? Yeah? You big stink, look at you.” Hunk fluffed up her fur, smooching her big black nose and making her bark excitedly.

“ Hunk! Stop riling her up, dammit, you’re the one who’s always getting us noise complaints.” Hunk only snickered before pushing the big fur baby into the bathroom. Lance stood eventually and went to help. Which really just meant he held the towel, and when commanded, he shielded both himself and Hunk from Blue’s watery wrath whenever she shook herself off.

 

After her bath, the three roommates snuggled up in their respective beds, exhausted from the day. Lance was on his back, staring at nothing. “Hunk..?” He whispered, almost embarrassed of what he was going to say next.

“Yeah, man?” Hunk rolled onto his side to give Lance his full attention. “What’s up?”

“Will you uh...describe Shiro?” Lance removed his sunglasses, putting them on his bedside table before gently fiddling with the hem of the borrowed shirt.

“Oh dude, of course! Which part? Head-to-toe or just face?”

“Shoulders and up.”

 

Hunk went into detail on every part of Shiro’s bust and up. His broad shoulders, and prominent collar bones. His sharp jawline, the shape of his lips, now kneeling by Lance’s bed with one of Lance’s hands in his own, having him touch each part of his own body that he described so Lance could better picture it. “And this part of his hair…” He bunched up his own bangs and put the chunk hair in Lance’s fingers. “It’s all white. Like a streak but only his bangs. It’s kinda cute, falls over his eyes a little bit to about here.” He touched Lance’s forehead, tracing a sort of triangle where Shiro’s hair would have fallen. “The rest is blackish, and like an undercut. Looks all fuzzy and buzzed.” He described each little piercing on Shiro’s left ear, then his right. He used his pointer finger to trace the shapes of the earrings into Lance’s palm. “I think his septum was pierced, Lance. I know how weak you are for that sorta thing.” Lance laughed. His best friend was always so observant. Lance’s favorite part of the day was having Hunk recall any detail about the day, any person’s appearance that Lance wanted to know about. And the way Hunk told stories and explained things Lance had never even seen before, it was incredible. His attention to detail was something that never ceased to amaze Lance. “And by the way...you should have seen his eyes light up as soon as you opened your mouth. And the way his smile just kept growing when he watched you.”

“Oh stop it, you always say those things.”

“Well, maybe this time I mean it.”

“You made it up every other time!?”

“Goodnight Lance!” Hunk got up and moved back to his own bed.

“Hey!!”

“Whoop! Light’s out, gotta sleep!”

“You suck...night.” Lance curled up again in his bed, smile wide as he thought about all of the amazing things Hunk had described. He really hoped to meet Shiro again so he could match the mental images with his voice this time. That was the best part, but he didn’t always get his wish. People had their own schedules...

 

His dreams that night were filled with Shiro, helping him clean, petting Blue, doing various sweet and kind things, even beating up that stranger. He’d woken up in a good mood for once, a smile on his lips. He just had to meet that barista again.

Chapter 2: Friend

Summary:

Shiro comes over to study with Lance, but neither of them gets anything done. Video games, and awkward conversations.

Lance makes a friend. Shiro gives a little bit of his background.

Notes:

Hello~ enjoy this lil chapter if you will~ You can find Chapter Updates on my twitter (@idontgiveadango)

While Lance enjoyed his friends being near him most times, he was fully capable of navigating the campus on his own- well, at least just him, his cane and Blue. Being blind wasn't nearly as disabling as people thought it was, and Lance liked to prove them wrong as often as he could. That was one of the main reasons that Lance declined the offer from the college admin to adjust schedules so that Lance could be led around by a student guide. Hell no. He didn’t need that much help. Sometimes he liked finding his own way to class, and he definitely liked being in a class where not many people knew him well. Getting lost today meant that he would have it figured out tomorrow. One more step toward proving to people he could do things they thought he couldn’t. He hoped they’d let him take a lab science course if he did enough of this proving thing.

When Lance was younger, about 13, he’d decided he wanted to be a zoologist. Which required some science stuff. He had always loved animals and was always interested in the way they interacted with their environments, the chemistry behind their actions. The ways they moved, places they visited often and how they marked them, the brilliant colors of nature never ceased to amaze. But that dream was pummeled after the accident. The thought alone made Lance angry, made his blood boil, one selfish person cost him his life’s goals and dreams.

Lance stretched and folded up his cane, putting it most of the way into his bag. “Blue, tuck,” Lance spoke softly, pointing to what he assumed was where she would fit. The dog curled up as small as she could near Lance’s feat. This was one of the classrooms without desks, unfortunately, so he sat further back in the rows of seats hoping that he was out of the way.

 

“Lance..? Oh, it is you! I could’ve sworn I had recognized you even the slightest bit yesterday I just couldn’t figure it out where from. I guess it was math!” Lance turned to face the direction of the voice, and his face must have shaped confusion because the voice kept going. “It’s Shiro, from-”

“Lion’s Den. Yeah. I remember- oh god your shirt- I totally forgot it back at my dorm, if you want to come with me after class I can-”

“Don’t stress it. You can keep it if you want, it was just a plain-jane shirt anyways. Makes no difference to me.” Now Lance wanted to know what it looked like. He let out a soft sigh. “Mind if I sit by you? If it won’t bother your dog, that is. I know it’s like, illegal to distract a service dog and stuff…”

That last bit made Lance sort of smile. Then he realized that not once had Shiro even acknowledged her. Yesterday or now, until he was worried about pestering her. His smile grew even further. That was new. Most people mentioned the dog right away, asked too many questions, really only talked to him to get closer to her. Most people probably petted her and he had no idea.

“No, please do. As long as I’m not moving around it doesn’t matter if she gets distracted. She’s only a seeing-eye dog. Not really a medical alert or something.” Lance started reaching down to move his things out of the way, but the seat next to him was already filled with the other man. “Thank you for being considerate by the way…”

“I did a little bit of research last night. I wasn’t sure how to confront someone with a working dog, I’d never really been exposed to it before. I was just looking up how to...say ‘good job’ I guess..? Like- y’know. Acknowledge the person and the dog, at the same time, as a team. It’s impressive that you put your life in the hands, or paws rather, of another species. I admire that. If it were me, I would probably have a person dragging me around like the big baby I am...you’re brave, is what I’m saying...sorry.”

Lance couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head. “No, you’re fine. I don’t mind hearing it- that’s all really nice of you to say. I’m glad you think I’m brave. Really, she’s the brave one. Do you know how many times a day I step on her feet? Or grab her fur trying not to fall over?”

“Or spill coffee on her?”

Lance and Shiro were both in silence for a short moment before they snorted and busted up laughing, Lance holding his stomach. “Oh god! Don’t remind me!” Lance whined as he laughed, covering his red face now. He listened close as Shiro’s soft, deep laugh died off, replaced with one soft sigh. “You know, it’s not often I laugh like that. And you’ve made me do it twice in one week. I’m sorry but you’re going to have to sit somewhere else.”

Shiro let out the prettiest giggle and didn’t move a muscle. He stayed put. “Yeah yeah...I think I’ll stay right here. If I have anything to say about it, I’ll make you laugh more often. It is now my life’s mission...or something like that.”

And even though Shiro had been joking, the rest of the two hour class period really felt like Shiro had made it his mission to get Lance to laugh. He continued to make jokes about their professor, described one girl’s terrible hairstyle, and even made the quietest ‘toot’ noise when the professor shortened their due-date for their final project. Lance really had to make an effort to not bust up.

After class was over, Lance waited for everyone to leave before getting up, as usual. It was easier to navigate the room without so many bodies in his way. What surprised him was that Shiro hadn’t left either.

“Is this your last class for the day..?” Shiro sounded almost a bit sheepish. “My language class got canceled and I don’t have to work until later on. I was thinking maybe we could study together?” Lance hummed at the offer, biting his lip.

“I…” He took his cane out, extending it and letting it snap into place. “As fun as that sounds, Blue usually has her meal and a break around this time. I’d feel bad making her miss out on that.” Lance was telling the truth, but he also hadn’t hung out or even studied with anyone other than Hunk.

“Oh- I mean, we can totally go to your dorm if you want? Or we don’t have to do it at all. Either one is okay with me.” Lance could hear the smile in Shiro’s voice, and also the bit of hope.

“Sure. That should be fine. Just let me text Hunk, he was supposed to meet me here and walk me back.” Lance pulled out his phone, using the speech commands to get to his messages. He spoke his text rather than typed it, because, well. “ Hey Hunk, no-go on the meeting in 5. Hot barista coming over instead. ” Lance smirked. He had no issues being blunt. He heard Shiro scoff and pick up his things.

“And how do you know if I’m hot?” Shiro laughed quietly.

“Hunk is a freaking magician when describing people. I am 100% confident in his skills if he ever had to describe a criminal. So if he says you’re hot, I promise you, you’re hot.” Lance called Blue to his side, grabbing the guide harness. “Do you know the way to the Kova dorms?”

 

Shiro walked in front of Lance most of the way there, with Lance tapping his cane along the walkways from left, to right, back to left. Lance kept having to tell him to stay out in front or Blue wouldn’t know what was going on. “You have to walk in front of me or she will just follow someone else.” Shiro had apologized every time, and Lance would always reassure him. He really did try to be patient with new friends. They didn’t always get it right away. Pidge and Hunk were different. They had been there before Blue ever was, and they were right alongside him in the training process with her, so they already knew what to do when it came time. Once inside the dorm, Lance did his usual and let Blue off of her leash and took off her harness. Only to recall that it wasn’t Hunk he was with. But his Blueberry had already run off, he could hear her heavy steps all the way down the hall. “Oh shit- Blue get back here-” He grumbled. “You wouldn’t mind guiding me to the dorm, would you..? It’s number 417, she’s probably already there…”

“That’s fine. But why did you let her go..?” Shiro hummed, stepping closer to Lance.

“Usually I free the beast, then Hunk takes me the rest of the way to the room. Guess I fell into routine and forgot..” Lance lifted his hand, searching for Shiro’s shoulder. He was met with cold metal and plastic. Shocked, he reeled his hand back. “Eh..?”

“Oh- it’s a prosthetic- I didn’t even think to tell you.”

“You? Hunk didn’t even mention it! What a jerk-” Then Lance remembered he’d asked for shoulders and up in his description. That tricky bastard. “Oh well. Onward..?” Lance put his hand back on the prosthetic shoulder bit, kinda feeling over it. It was smooth mostly, the only texture being where each piece was joined together with tiny screws. He moved his hand over further, closer to the base of Shiro’s neck and brought his body in close before waving his hand to cue Shiro to start walking. “You have to tell me if there’s anything within a few feet of my right side. Like that table.” When they passed the said table, he pointed right at it. “I won’t hit anything in this hallway, I know it too well, but this is good practice for next time.”

“You’re already planning a ‘next time’?”

“Well you know, just in case…” Lance’s face was burning hot, and he just zipped his lips tight. Shiro led him the rest of the way to the dorm room.

“417 you said..? I don’t see Blue.”

“Hunk is back already, he probably let her in…” Lance fumbled for his keycard, pulling out his ID, his debit card, gift cards upon gift cards that were shaped and sized similarly. Shiro tried to offer his help but Lance just told him to be patient. Finally, Hunk opened the door.

 

“How many times do I need to tell you that asking for help is not the end of the world?” Hunk opened the door wider for both boys to come in. “Welcome to our messy room, Shiro. Nice of you to join us.”

“Excuse you, both of us contributed to this mess. Besides, you should clean it up this time- it’s totally a hazard to my health.”

“So is your bad attitude.” Hunk huffed as they walked in. Being on a break, Blue was an entirely different dog. Hunk had already fluffed her up and got her all crazy so she was bouncing back and forth between the two twin beds, jumping up on Shiro when he entered the cozy room. She was incredibly tall on her hind legs, and Shiro had never had a dog look him in the eyes like that. Had she been any other dog he probably would’ve been a little intimidated.

“Oh goodness, aren’t you just a big cutie!” Shiro rubbed over her ribs, running his fingers through her long fur.

Lance went into the bathroom and paused for a long time before taking his sunglasses off. He was unsure at first, knowing his eyes could be a shocking sight to some people. But hell, Shiro had a missing arm. This guy, of all people, probably wouldn’t mind.

 

Lance exited the bathroom with a sigh, rubbing his face. For no reason other than to cover his eyes for a little bit longer. He looked down toward the ground, feeling his way around his bed to sit down.

“Welcome back- Lance.” Lance tried not to hear the skip in Shiro’s voice, but it was there. He heard the slightest hiccup. Shiro saw his scars, saw his imperfections. And like everyone else, he’d reacted.

“I was just starting a videogame if anyone else wants to play? Mario Kart anyone?” Lance perked up, momentarily forgetting about the creeping invaders of negative thought.

“Hell yeah, I’m in. Shiro you gotta play too so I can kick your butt.”

Lance assumed Shiro had looked confused because Hunk said, “He’ll surprise you.”

Three rounds in and Lance, indeed, surprised Shiro. With Hunk’s left...right...jump in 3, 2, 1...dodge left...red shell instructions, while also playing his own game mind you, Lance won fair and square. All. Three. Times. Shiro huffed, crossing his arms and putting his controller down.

“Dude! You are totally whooping my ass right now and I want to know what this magic is. Rigged! There’s no way you’re that good, this one JUST came out!” Shiro laughed as he plopped backward onto Blue.

“I am that good, baby. I’m the best, the King if you will.” Lance smirked, rubbing at his eyes. Dry and annoying and-

“Go get the eyedrops. You’ve been doing that for like half an hour and your eyes are all red now.”

“No, I’m fine-”

“ Lance .” Lance pouted and got up, walking into the bathroom for a second time to find his stupid eyedrops.

 

“You guys have a really special friendship, I can tell..” Shiro smiled over at Hunk, who smiled back.

“Well, when you’ve known someone since diapers...it’s hard to not have a tight bond I guess.” Hunk sighed. “I do what I can to make sure he’s taking care of himself. Independently. He doesn’t need a caregiver, he needs a boot up his ass now and again.” The boys laughed softly. Shiro sat up and hummed, idly rubbing a finger over the scar across his nose, thinking about the scars around both of Lance’s eyes. He’d noticed them, but he’d never ask. Just like no one ever asked him. Like they all silently knew it was something bad, something gnarly, but no one had the balls to ask-

“So, what happened to your nose?” Okay. Well. Apparently, Lance had the balls to ask.

“Huh..? Oh right. Your storyteller.” Shiro glanced at Hunk, who grinned and put his hands up as if to surrender already. “I got in a fight with someone a while back. He had a knife and cut me across the bridge of my nose.”

“ You got in a fight? Jeez, what are you hiding? You seem way too gentle to fight anyone.” Lance walked over and sat criss-cross on the floor next to Shiro, almost facing him. He was a little off. Close enough.

“Well, I was following orders...I used to be in the military. I was a Galaxy Garrison soldier and a fighter pilot. I lost my arm in a jet crash actually.”

“Whoa!” Both Hunk and Lance said together. Hunk grinned, hands clasped together. “So that’s how you got that sweet arm tech!? Pidge would kill to mess around with that thing! I-If you don’t mind, I mean. Her brother was one of their Junior Science Officers and their main communications expert for some big mission. He also came back a little banged up, to say the least.”

“That’s a really badass story actually, thank you for your service.” Lance smiled, reaching out to touch Shiro’s arm again, which took a few tries but eventually he got it. “This thing feels pretty cool, Shiro. But I’m sorry you lost your arm fighting for us. That sucks.” Shiro hummed, looking down at Lance’s hand, putting his own over top of it for a moment. The contact was warm and for a moment, Lance had a soft look of surprise, cheeks pink. But it was short-lived, as Lance snapped his hand away and looked slightly annoyed.

“Well,” Hunk cued Shiro to switch topics if he could. “I say the studying commences, yeah? That’s what you guys came back here for. Definitely not for me to distract you with video games.” Hunk patted Lance on the shoulder and helped him stand up off the floor. “I’m gunna go have dinner with Pidge, so I’ll probably be back later than usual.”

“Last time you had ‘dinner with Pidge’ you butt dialed me. Don’t let it happen again. Worst experience of my life.” Hunk’s face went bright red, and Lance laughed when the other man choked on an embarrassed groan before he took off.

 

With Hunk gone, Lance was forced to face the fact that he could not hold a conversation on his own. It was too awkward, and he didn’t know what to talk about. Not only that, but Shiro had no clue how to explain things properly to Lance. Or how to tell a story without using his hands and facial expressions.

“Yeah, and it was like, this big...uh. Like, a foot and a half I think. So I looked at her like this- I mean, with a mean sort of face. All grumpy. And told her to get lost…” Shiro’s voice died off. He wasn’t cut out for this. No way.

“I can imagine it, I’m sure she wasn’t happy!” Lance laughed quietly, biting his lip. “Hey, don’t stress it. I can picture some things at least, I get the gist. I actually...really appreciate that you’re here. And trying to be my friend.”

“Of course I’m trying! I want to be your friend, Lance. You’re actually a ton of fun to be around. You really cracked me up yesterday, watching you in the Den, I mean, the way you handled the situation. And the way you...straight up took a stranger’s shirt home.” Both boys laughed, and Lance flopped backward on the bed.

“I had no choice! I was soaked! What about you though!? You totally left your register to wipe my face with a warm washcloth, that was awfully sweet, y’know~” Lance hummed, arms up above his head now. There was a brief silence, Shiro shifted on the bed, felt like he was leaning over Lance, then-

“Oh shit! Work! I gotta go- I’m so late! They’re gunna fire me for sure I- are you okay on your own?! Of course, you are- text Hunk so he doesn’t worry! Sorry! I’ll make it up to you I promise!!” Shiro was up and out the door in a flash, and Lance could hear him rushing down the hallway.

 

Lance’s lips were parted just a bit, and he let out a soft breath, lazily scratching up under his shirt as he stared into the darkness before his eyes. “Berryboo, we are in trouble.”

Notes:

Muahaha sorry, I cut it there. I need to work on my slow-burn skills. I am soooo bad at slow-burn. Anyways~ hope y'all appreciate Shiro's backstory. There will be more info later, and Lance's backstory will probably be in two chapters from now. Next chap is Shiro's POV! You can find updates and whatnot on my twitter! (@idontgiveadango)

Chapter 3: Crush

Summary:

Shiro's background is dark, but he tries to find his light. Is it the healthiest coping method? No. But it's what he's got considering the circumstances.

Lance puts on the charm at all the right moments.

Notes:

Heyyyyyy this chapter gets a little heavy, so please read these warnings!!
CW: Self-harm implied, mental illness mention, PTSD implied, vomit mention, battlefield description (most of these are very lightly mentioned but there is some slight detail in terms of the war stuff)
Again, a happy ending, but these are my warnings!! If these things make you uncomfortable, skip to the end of the chapter for cute stuff, or wait until the next upload tomorrow/tonight <3

Whatever the hell made Shiro believe going to Lance’s dorm, playing video games in Lance’s dorm, sitting on Lance’s bed was anything near a good idea needed to be banished. Immediately. While rushing to work, all but running, Shiro mentally kicked himself. As soon as Lance had laid back his shirt had scaled ever so slightly up his torso, leaving a sliver of beautiful tan skin for Shiro to gaze at. And his pretty pink lips, by God, did he want a taste.

Being this desperate was going to end in both of them getting hurt. Shiro wasn’t the type to jump in balls to the wall, full throttle, but for some reason, right off the bat, Lance had caught his eye. And ‘right off the bat’ was long before the coffee incident. Unfortunately. Because had it started there, Shiro easily could have written this off as he needed to get laid and that was it. But no. It had started as soon as he’d transferred into Lance’s math and literature classes. He noticed him right away. It only took him a few hours to realize a few things. Lance was blind, Lance bounced his leg when he was nervous, and Lance was insanely attractive. The way his messy brown hair fell just perfectly on his face whenever he was starting to doze off in class. His soft hums and sighs when he was confused, or finally understood a concept in the lesson. The way his forearm flexed as he tapped his cane side to side.

He was too cute for Shiro not to pursue. The blindness never bothered him, it was just part of Lance, but it wasn’t his entire personality. He didn’t whine about it, he rarely even mentioned it, other than to make jokes about it. If anything, he liked that feature of Lance. It meant the only attention he would get would be genuine. It meant that without telling Lance, the boy would have no idea what he’d done, where he’d been, who he was.

 

And who was he really? He hated the ‘hero’ title with a passion. It bothered him to no end. He had fought and nearly lost a battle. What good was he? Risked so many lives including his own, only to come back and hear that he was some...champion? After getting traumatizingly injured, they let him go; Honerable Discharge, they called it. But being so badly injured, so messed up that he could no longer do his job? There was nothing honerable about that in his eyes. He felt like a failure, a feeling that bubbles up all too quickly when he had to confront his boss about being late, all but begging to keep his job.

He didn’t lose his job, thank God, but they did require that he stay late and close up the shop. He didn’t mind, that was a fair agreement, and he was getting paid for it. He couldn’t complain really. He put earbuds in his ears to drown out his growing irritation while he swept the floor and wiped down the counters. When the entire place was clean and locked up, he started his walk back to his apartment. Shiro wasn’t afraid of the dark, nor what it hid. The only fear he had was the images his mind would bring forward, the images of his war, his fight, his losses. The images of some of his closest friends and partners, bloodied on the battlefield, others are already gone, faces pale and eyes blank. Shiro felt himself shiver, but he wasn’t cold. He was going to be sick. He rushed forward and as acid rose up in his throat, he vomited into the bushes just outside his apartment, gripping the chain-link fence with his human hand.

Once inside, Shiro calmed himself long enough to take his medications with steady hands and run himself a hot shower. He’d had such a good day, and it had been a while since those thoughts came up. He knew he shouldn’t have mentioned his ex-title. It was always a bad idea, but he couldn’t deny someone so brave the answers he probably deserved. Sure, what Lance didn’t know wouldn’t kill him, but what if he hated war? What if he despised anyone who fought in one? It would be better to get that out of the way before Shiro pressed on and hurt Lance. That was the last thing he’d ever want to do. Hurt Lance. Someone so beautiful and sweet and funny and charming- he didn’t deserve to be hurt.

After his shower, Shiro decided to shave. He had to use one of those bladeless beard trimming devices that cost him way too much money and was honestly sort of painful. But it was better than having temptations only ten steps away from his bedroom. During his regular home checks, they looked for anything that could be used as...as a weapon, really. Pencil sharpeners that were easily taken apart, razors of any kind, scissors, box cutters or any yard working tools besides a spade- and they wouldn’t let him have more than two knives in his kitchen, both being serrated and dull as all hell. Until he could pass evaluations, this was his life. And it was embarrassing. Embarrassing that he couldn’t keep himself together long enough to have regular household items.

Once he had finished shaving, Shiro walked to his room and plopped onto his bed, naked. He didn’t want to get dressed and his meds were finally kicking in, his brain a little foggy. He sighed, staring at the ceiling for a moment, but he didn’t see it. He saw Lance, smiling and giggling during a lecture. He saw Blue bounding down the hallway. He saw Hunk muttering directions to Lance while playing Mario Kart. He saw Lance’s shirt shift up his belly. It made him smile, and he closed his eyes. His dreams were full of things Lance did, things that pushed darkness aside and made way for light.

 

Shiro woke up early for classes the next day, getting himself ready rather quickly so that he could lay back in bed for a few more minutes. He checked his phone and went Instagram, Facebook, all to see what his friends were up to, scrolling through pages and ending up in the weird side after following tags and usernames...whoops. This happened almost every time. He couldn’t resist diving in to see what was on the internet these days. It was everchanging, and Shiro had an urge to just see. Just then, he got a text from a number he didn’t recognize.

> Is this Shiro?

Shiro hesitantly texted back, but hey, could’ve just been someone needing him to cover? Or his boss...now that he was thinking about it, he didn’t actually save her number. Oops.

> It is yes, may I ask who this is?

Shiro waited a while, but a response never came. He got up and put his shoes on, then his sweatshirt and walked toward the door to leave. He made sure to get his keys and wallet, then out he went. About halfway to his first class, his phone dinged quietly.

> This is Lance, Hug gave me your number. You should come over again when you don’t have to go to work after

Shiro couldn’t help the laugh. Hug? He mentally translated that to Hunk. He knew Lance was using the speech-text options on his phone, which really did people dirty sometimes.

> I would love that

Before sending that, Shiro groaned. Was that too much? Did he seem too excited..? He deleted it and tried again. Tone it back, Shiro.

> Yeah that would be cool. I don’t work Friday through Sunday, also no classes tomorrow if tonight works for you? Woohoo for Friday’s am I right

Shiro hummed, and when he didn’t get an answer after about five minutes, he turned his ringer off and stuck his phone into his back pocket, continuing his walk to his first lecture. He couldn’t help but feel like a total dork after that message. Woohoo for Friday’s what was he, a middle-aged mum? Jeez.

 

Class went okay, but Shiro was pretty distracted, to say the least. His mind kept wandering to other places, and he truly didn’t want to focus. Thinking about Lance, of course, wondering what his response would be for hanging out? He stopped for coffee before the next class, but that one was the same. No focus. A nearly nonexistent attention span. Shiro had a bad habit of obsessing over things that made him happy. But he knew he had to try hard to not let it be that way with Lance. He felt his phone buzz finally in his fifth and final class. He took his phone out of his bag much too quickly, flinging it nearly three feet away onto the floor. He groaned, embarrassment painting his cheeks pink. “Sorry…” he mumbled to the person he had to reach over to grab the phone. Upon opening it, he snorted.

> Not gun a lie. I thought you were uncomfortable or something once Hug left. I’m glad you’re coming over again. Had a lot of fun with you last night. Maybe this time you would let me check out whatever’s under that shirt or Lance don’t say that that’s inappropriate and don’t send it either

Shiro about fainted trying to hold in his laughter. At first, he was confused, then realized that Lance had someone else with him while saying those texts, presumably Hunk and that just made it even funnier. Lance had no qualms over saying something so brash, so embarrassing, or inappropriate around other people. Shiro liked his personality more and more as time moved forward.

> You can check out whatever Hunk will let you check out when I get there

He wondered if that sounded...demeaning. But Lance seemed to know how to take a joke, so he doubted the other would think Shiro meant he needed to be babied...hopefully, that was the case.

 

Shiro had intended to go to the library and study, he really did. He’d set aside an entire hour just for studying his classes...but he couldn’t make it more than 20 minutes. Not when he knew Lance was waiting for him.

> I’m on my way now if you don’t mind? See ya soon

Shiro picked up his books and papers, shoving them all into his backpack haphazardly and rushing out of the library. He tried to take his time getting to the Kova section of dorms, but he was too excited to walk slowly on purpose. Inside the dorms building, Shiro walked right to Lance’s room and quietly knocked, smiling wide and giddy.

“Hey-!! I’ll get it-”

“No, let me do it-”

“Stop it- OW!!”

There was a loud thud, and then the door opened, Hunk smirking. “I won.” He opened the door wider to let Shiro in, and also to reveal that Lance was laying face-down on the floor, Blue laying across his legs. “Someone’s a little too excited you’re here.”

“Well after hearing from like ten girls that you’re the hottest guy they’ve ever seen on campus, why wouldn’t I be excited knowing you’re here in my room.”

“Lance you need to cut back the flirty talk. You can’t go around having giant crushes on everyone.”

“Bet- hey! It’s not everyone , just Shiro.”

Shiro grinned. “If you have such a big crush on me why don’t you let me take you for a date?” Maybe he was joking. Until Lance started getting up and looked more excited if that was even possible.

“You’re kidding, right? Am I finally getting my dream of a super hot movie date?”

“Lance you can’t even-” Hunk tried to interrupt.

“Don’t worry. Shiro wouldn’t be watching the movie either.” Lance smirked, and Shiro felt his soul leave his body.

Notes:

Thank you SO much for reading! I actually liked the end of this chapter a lot xD Lance is a dorkus. Sorry for it being so much shorter than the other two though. I'm SUPER excited for the next chapter oh my GOSH. Some really cute shance is coming~ and Blue is a cockblock xD You can find chapter updates on my twitter~ (@idontgiveadango)

Chapter 4: Date.

Summary:

Lance and Shiro finally get their date. Woohoo for the theaters! Dark, loud...concealing?

Notes:

Welcome aboard, dudes, this is your captain speaking. This chapter gets quite steamy! If that's not your thing, skip right on through! I won't be bothered at all. You'll find two exits in the front and rear <3 once again, thank you for choosing Shance airlines, I hope you enjoy your flight~

“How do I look?” Lance stood in front of Hunk, chewing at his lip.

“With your eyes.”

“ Hunk I’m serious! I want to look perfect!!” Lance whined, running a hand through his hair.

The date didn’t work out that night, the theater wasn’t playing anything interesting until that weekend, and it was packed. So they had decided that Sunday afternoon would work better, but now Lance was panicking. He wanted to look his best! He hadn’t been on a real date in...ever, actually.

“You promised you would help me look good! You also promised to describe every inch of him when he gets here, you better hold up that end too!” Lance felt a gentle hand comb through his hair, positioning each little tuft.

“You know you already look perfect no matter what. You could go in sweatpants and a holey t-shirt and Shiro would still faint.” Hunk fixed Lance’s hair, then held his cheeks. “You’re gunna do great, okay..? And I’ll have Shiro send me a picture so I can describe every detail before he gets here to avoid embarrassing myself.” Hunk Laughed, giving Lance a pat on the cheek before walking away to text and get that picture. Lance tried to picture what Shiro would wear. His mind wandered to matching crop-tops...he giggled. As soon as the picture came in though, Hunk gasped. “Dude. I can’t describe this.”

“What? What do you mean? If you could describe that crazy lady at the beach with the weird blue and green hair, you can describe anything.”

“No- I mean- I shouldn’t. You will go on your date hard as a rock-”

“No fair!! Tell me!” Lance pouted, throwing himself nearly off the bed. “Tell me, please?” He had his hands clasped together as if he were praying.

“I’ll only tell you this, you get to feel the rest. Tight black t-shirt, tucked into frickin skinny jeans. Dark blue, sorta faded around the tops of his thighs- oh God Lance he sent a second picture. Rear view-”

“Damn this blindness!!!” Lance whined, plopping down onto the floor and fake crying. “Why! Whyyyy!”

“His hair is so perfectly messy, he’s clean shaven, two lobe piercings in each ear that have very nice diamond earrings. Small, not too much. Both ears have tiny hoops, looks like five in each ear, that go up the side. They alternate gold and silver.” Hunk feigned a swoon. “Gosh~ no wonder all the ladies are on his ass- he cleans up well!!” He laughed at Lance still fake sobbing on the floor, rolling around in his imaginary tear puddles. Hunk let him do that for a few minutes, then sighed and chastised him. “Oh pick yourself up, do you want to go covered in dog hair?”

“No, but this is going to simultaneously be the best and worst date ever, Hunk. I can’t see my hot date, but at least that’s totally an excuse to feel him.”

 

Just then, a soft knock at the door. Three heads, two human and one K9, perked up and looked towards the door. Lance ran to hide in the bathroom, fumbling to find something to entertain his twittering fingers. Hunk let Shiro in, biting his own lip to try and not say something revealing and embarrassing about what they had just been doing.

“Welcome back, Shiro. Lance is hiding in the bathroom, pretending he totally isn’t hiding.”

“Shut up!” Lance sounded from the bathroom. “You would do the same if America’s Next Top Model was standing in your bedroom waiting for you !!” Lance groaned as he all but fell out of the bathroom. He placed one hand on the wall, using it to move toward Shiro, along with the bed frame, stopping when he was in the middle of the room. He walked a few paces forward, pausing to inhale the sweet yet spicy scent that was Shiro’s cologne. He melted right then and there. “Oh god...please tell me we are walking? If we ride in a car I don’t know if that’s public enough for me to keep my hands to myself.”

Shiro looked shocked, and Lance heard him suck in a breath to speak but Hunk beat him to it. “Lance! Take it easy, dude. This is the first date, remember?” Hunk laughed at his horn-dog of a friend, rolling his eyes and grabbing Lance’s signature bomber jacket. “Here, it’s supposed to get really cold later on, wind and everything, so take this? And Blue already has her booties on.” As if on cue, Blue did a little stomp dance with her booties, making squeaky rubber sounds on the floor. It made all three men laugh a little. “And please, be safe you guys. Not to be that friend but if you’re gunna do anything, which is totally up to you, keep it sanitary and consensual. Got it? Text me if you need anything.” Hunk ushered the boys out the door, Lance holding Blue’s guide harness and quickly putting on his shades. “Have fun!” Slam.

Lance stood there for a moment, shocked. There is no way Hunk just gave them the talk. He started out with a nervous giggle, then full on laughing on his way out of the dorm building. He stopped suddenly when he felt a warm hand bump against his, then fingers tangle in with his own.

“Shiro..?”

“I thought it would be nice to hold hands. If that’s okay with you?” Shiro sounded so confident, voice strong and held together. Lance was jealous. Insanely so.

“That is...completely okay with me. I’d like that.” Lance could feel himself smiling the whole way to the theater, occasionally giving Shiro’s hand a small squeeze.

 

When they arrived at the theater, Lance let Shiro guide him around to the counter. He tried to pay for the movie, but Shiro insisted so Lance put his wallet into Blue’s little saddle bag. They got snacks and drinks, popcorn, and some goldfish crackers for Blue. Lance couldn’t help his grin.

The teen checking their tickets rolled his eyes, but Lance didn’t see. And Shiro was glad for that. Had it been any other time he would’ve asked ‘what’s your problem?’ but this was a date, and Lance didn’t see the rudeness so...why bring it up?

Surprisingly to Shiro, Lance had preferred sitting. Any seat with the best surround sound. They opted for sitting in the furthest back row, right in the middle.

Lance laid out a neon green yoga mat for Blue, setting up one of those rubber retractable bowls and filling it with the goldfish crackers. He then snapped and pointed somewhat toward the area he set up. Shiro bent down and adjusted the bowl so it was on the mat. “Blue, tuck.” Lance gave Blue a short and gentle tug to her lead, and the dog obeyed immediately, laying down as small as she could near Lance’s feet but also munching on the snack. Lance was almost at a loss for words, which with him, was rare. He was almost always blabbing about nonsense, or being inappropriately flirty- but right now? He could hardly think. He wanted to busy his hands, but Shiro had put his armrest down, laying Lance’s arm there to trace tiny circles from his wrist up to the bend of his elbow. Goosebumps rose up along the featherlight trail. He felt nervous and little confused, wondering if Shiro was here because he liked him, or maybe felt bad for him..?

Those feelings disappeared about a half hour into the movie, when Shiro leaned over and pressed his lips just behind Lance’s ear, then along his jawline, his hand moving up under Lance’s bomber jacket and eventually under his shirt. The hand moved up through Lance’s shirt collar to hold his neck and Lance swallowed against his palm.

“I guess you were right…” Shiro whispered too quietly, just breath against his skin. “I can’t focus on this movie at all.” Lance turned his head and met lip-to-lip with Shiro, reaching up to grab his shirt. The new position caused Lance’s shirt to ride up, now exposing almost all of his stomach. Shiro decided that was too much skin for anyone else to see and let his shirt fall after pulling his arm out but went right back to holding his throat again. Lance let out a soft whine into Shiro’s mouth, a smirk slowly growing on his own lips.

“Didn’t take much...I didn’t even do anything…” Lance hummed, reaching to smooth one hand down over the prosthetic arm, humming and biting his lip. “Can you feel that..?”

“I...yeah kind of. It’s dull...but the artificial nerves are somehow connected to my own nervous system so...that’s how I can move each finger. Temperature sensitivity, I can grab things, but featherlight touches are hardly there at all...and sometimes it itches. That was the weirdest part when it was brand new.” Shiro smiled, using the prosthetic hand to cup Lance’s cheek, leaning to kiss him again, sighing into his mouth. “You look so good right now...you always look good, but right now I could swallow you whole…”

“Which part of me?”

“All the naughty bits.” Shiro grinned, nipping Lance’s bottom lip, just staring for a moment. “Mm...sorry. I shouldn’t be so desperate on the first date.” He laughed quietly before getting shooshed by someone’s grandma. “Ohp...don't wanna get whacked with a cane, we should be quiet.” They pulled away from each other, both holding in giggles and Lance looked forward with a hum.

He thought to himself for a moment...what was so bad about getting a little handsy on the first date..? It didn’t really bother him. Might as well find out quickly if you’ll like how someone is in bed, right? He would happily go on a second date with Shiro even if the bed action sucked. Whoever made these dating rules could suck his left nut and that’s that. With that conclusion, Lance pushed up the armrest that was between them, humming and leaning into Shiro a little more.

“If you can stay quiet, I’ll give you something awesome back at your place..?” Lance spoke as he moved his hand into Shiro’s lap, rubbing at his thigh. His jeans were soft, not like those super scratchy work jeans. These felt nicer. He imagined the colors Hunk described, imagined the way they were fitting around what felt like perfectly muscular legs. He squeezed the thigh closest to him, the one furthest away, boldly groping between them. “Hmm...deal?”

Shiro had a shocked expression, but Lance couldn’t see it. He could only hear the soft gasp and feel the way Shiro’s hips rolled. “Yeah...deal…” Even as a whisper, Lance could tell Shiro’s voice had gotten a little higher pitched.

Lance accepted that and got to work, palming between Shiro’s legs and crossing his own. He felt the other man harden under his touch, and it was almost too much. He was shocked at how big Shiro really was, smirking to himself when he thought how difficult that would be to conceal had they been any more public. Now he would kill to feel him like this in some sweatpants... He felt Shiro push his hand away, at first thinking he couldn’t take anymore, but his hand was pushed back toward Shiro’s warm crotch, this time met with a popped button and open zipper. Lance all but drooled, biting his lip hard to keep from moaning just imagining what this looked like. He moved back to touching Shiro, licking over his lips a few times first to keep from saying something he didn’t want to.

“Too tight..?”

“Yeah uh, something like that…” Shiro sighed. When Lance laid his head on Shiro’s chest, he could really feel how quick the other man was breathing. He could tell how badly Shiro wanted to let out groans and whines, but Lance was feeling particularly possessive over any noises Shiro would make. He wanted them for his ears only. Yet he pushed on.

 

It was right about now that Shiro thanked the heavens for three things. They were in the furthest back row, no one sat within five seats to their left or right and he had picked a movie with a dark color scheme. Because when Lance went full throttle, grabbed his cock and went down on him he couldn’t stop the raw pleasure forming on his face, crossing his eyes, reddening his cheeks. He couldn’t stop the way he rolled his hips to fuck into Lance’s mouth. He definitely didn’t last long after that, all ten fingers twisted and tangled up in Lance’s hair. It amazed Shiro that Lance had only really coughed once, and he felt it more than he heard it. Lance swallowed around him, coming back up silently to wipe his mouth before stuffing it full of popcorn and talking around it.

“Put yourself away, who do you think you are~? Coming onto me like this in a movie theater? I say...” Lance was grinning like the shithead he was, and Shiro did just as he was told. He tucked himself away quickly, also shoving his face full of snacks to avoid having to say anything back.

 

The walk back to Shiro’s apartment was only a little bit awkward, mostly just chitchat about the movie, but never once did it come up what they had just done. Judging by the mean old-woman stares, at least two people knew what they were up to in there, but Shiro did his best to ignore it. They didn’t hold hands this time, and Shiro walked ahead at Lance’s request. He was worried at first, but each time he’d looked back at Lance, the younger man was grinning ear to ear.

Upon arriving, Shiro hummed and took Lance's hand again. “Hm...it’s a little bigger than your dorm, but that’s only because there’s a living room and kitchen...my bedroom is just as tiny.” Shiro was just sort of rambling at this point, opening his door and letting Blue guide Lance inside, watching silently as the other man felt his way around. “Is this the...kitchen counter?” Shiro nodded, then quickly muttered a yes before walking in and locking the door behind himself. “Couch...coffee table..? Ooo a rocking chair? I used to have one of those when I lived with my Abuela for a while. An old wooden one that she and I ]painted red…” Lance continued to slowly walk around, one hand on the guide harness. Shiro watched, somewhat amazed, as Blue kept her body right up against Lance’s left hip at all times, pushing him when he’d get too close to something. It wasn’t clumsy at all, they moved as one, fluidly. He let out a chuckle, noticing that whenever Lance ignored her instruction, he got a quick nip to the hand.

“Blue, bathroom.” Shiro watched the dog pull Lance down the hallway, and right to the bathroom door.

“She can do that, even in a new place..?”

“Scent training. Cleaning supplies, soap...waste. She follows that trail to a bathroom. Usually. Sometimes we end up in a kitchen.” He hummed, putting the large dog into a down-stay, standing in the bathroom doorway. “Mind if I..?”

Shiro shook his head, then corrected it. He’d have to get used to that. “No! Go ahead, that’s fine.” Shiro watched Lance disappear into the bathroom, watched Blue stare pointedly at the bathroom door the entire time he was in there. He heard the toilet flush, sink turn on for a moment then off, the towel holder jiggling, then the door opened again and there was Lance. With his jacket now in his hands.

“I was thinking maybe I could reward you for being quiet at the theater,” Lance hummed, but he was looking down at the floor. He was clearly a bit embarrassed. “That was fun. I wouldn’t mind doing it again or doing something else if you want.” Shiro was frozen for a moment, gazing at that gorgeous face, then Lance too off his classes and looked up. “Shiro?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry I’m right here...that- that would be fine if...if that’s what you want but. If you don’t wanna put out...that’s fine. We don’t have to do that.” Shiro walked over to where Lance was standing. “Actually I...just picked up a new CD and I would love to relax and listen to it for a while..? Do you like Queen?”

 

Lance had been curled up to Shiro, whose arm was around his shoulders, two times through the CD. They’d kissed and touched, but nothing more than that. Nothing that led them anywhere. Lance had untucked Shiro’s black shirt, hand up underneath, fingertips pressing into the toned muscles of Shiro’s abdomen while Shiro sang softly,

“ Can anybody find meeee ... somebody to love …” In that smooth, deep voice, lulling Lance to sleep soon enough after a few more songs. Shiro continued to rub his side, down over his thigh and bum, coming back up to hold Lance’s slim waist. It felt amazing, he didn’t ever want this moment to end. Shiro kissed Lance’s forehead, humming when he felt his phone buzz. He was glad to see it was Hunk.

> Is everything going well?

> Couldn’t possibly be better. Lance fell asleep after the movie.

Shiro decided to send a picture to ease any nerves Hunk might’ve had about the situation. In his snapshot, he got Lance all curled up and cute, Blue in the background also all curled up. At first, Lance had said she wasn’t allowed on beds. But once he was out like a light? Shiro couldn’t resist the big teddy staring at him and begging him to let her up.

> Looks like a lot of fun. Staying at Pidge’s tonight if he wants to stay there? If he plans on going back to the dorm you can sleep on my bed. In case there’s a fire or something he really shouldn’t be by himself. Stay safe, glad the date went well

At first, Shiro felt a ping of anxiety spread through his chest over the small wall of text, but after reading he sighed it away.

> Whatever he chooses, I’ll stay by his side. Thanks, Hunk. :)

 

Shiro watched Lance as he slept, watched his lips part ever so slightly to mutter something in his sleep, gazed over his pink cheeks and glanced down to see his fingers curl into his shirt. He felt his heart skip, he wanted so badly for this to be the norm. For this to just be something they did. But one blowjob in a movie theater and falling asleep to Freddie Mercury didn’t automatically equal boyfriends...so what did? Coffee dates and naps, bonding over activities, something like that? He couldn’t remember the last time he felt the need to try this hard for someone, but the entirety of his being was wrapped so tightly around Lance’s little finger.

 

As far as ‘ something awesome back at your place’ went...this was more than enough. A reward for doing as he was told in the theater, he couldn’t have asked for a better one. “You’re so goddamn perfect, Lance…” Shiro softly whispered.

 

“I know.” Lance yawned and his grin slowly grew.

Chapter 5: Perfect Pearl

Summary:

Boyfriends? Boyfriends.

Notes:

!!PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!! PTSD mention, scarring, battlefield descriptions, talking about traumatic events! (Also they sex it up later so if that's not your thing, step out about halfway through)
WOOT I am so sorry this took so long. It's been a bit of a crazy few days, I am SO ready for the weekend. This chapter was a little hard for me to work out, just too many things I wanted to fit in. Hope you enjoy!

Shiro had planned several more dates, Lance agreeing to each one without hesitation. And because of that, in two weeks they had gone on over six dates. The movies again, minus the shenanigans, they’d gone to dinner a few times, had coffee in the mornings, and a few times attempted to get up to some naughty business back in the dorm. One of the times, Hunk had walked in just as Shiro had gotten his shirt off and Lance had a hand groping his ass. They’d jumped apart so violently Hunk couldn’t help but laugh.

But after each of those dates, Shiro felt himself...longing. Sure, they kissed goodbye, hugged and whispered sweet words but...Shiro felt something was missing here. Were the two weeks long enough? Did Lance want to be tied down, or did he have someone else he was doing this with too..? What if the title of ‘boyfriends’ was just that...a title. Shiro had decided that if he was going to do this, he wasn’t going to do it half-assed. Being with Lance almost made him bolder than he had ever been before. He’d done more things without thinking first. Lance rarely thought before jumping in and that was one of the hottest things about him. He didn’t hesitate- he just went for it.

Shiro saw Lance coming, maybe 20 feet away now, he worried his lip with his teeth, wringing his hands while all of these vexatious thoughts crossed his mind. Lance was already smiling though, and it caused his head to shift gears so quickly.

 

They’d met here often enough that it was just regular for them so he knew Shiro would be standing there.“Shiro!” Lance was already sticking his hands out, grasping at thin air until Shiro stepped forward against his hand. Lance grinned, curling his fingers in Shiro’s shirt and pulling him close. “I missed you…”

“You just saw me like 12 hours ago.”

“12 hours too long, kiss me.” Lance pulled Shiro down, dropping Blue’s guide harness and putting both of his hands on Shiro’s cheeks. Shiro thought for sure he was going to pass out, but he held Lance’s waist, drawing him in closer. He felt Lance moving that mouth against his own, but he was almost too distracted to kiss back properly. “What are you thinking about..?” Lance had pulled back, blinking behinds his sunglasses. He tucked his face into Shiro’s neck, lightly nibbling the skin there and making Shiro whine.

“Nothing, what do you mean..?” He pushed Lance back, he couldn’t help but connect those spicy little kisses and bites with memories of their bedroom activities, and that was heat straight to the hips- which he didn’t need right now.

“You’re thinking too much, I can tell.” Lance snuck a hand up under Shiro’s shirt, and Shiro grabbed his wrist.

“Mm...easy, now. Everyone can see.”

“Not everyone. ”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Okay, well everyone passing us can see…” He hummed, watching Lance’s face for a moment. Watching as he bit his lip, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Lance, do you want to-”

“Yes.” Ah. That jumping in without thought applied to anything Shiro suggested. Always.

“You didn’t even let me finish-”

“I know, but whatever it is, I’m going to do it with you.” Lance’s teeth were so pretty and straight and with how big he smiled when he laughed, Shiro could see almost all of them. That was his favorite smile. He really did love every bit of Lance.

“So, you do want to go vandalize the dean’s office?” When the smile faded just a bit, Shiro felt absolutely horrible. “I-I’m kidding I was going to ask if you wanted to be my boyfriend..?” Shiro laughed nervously but was cut off when Lance all but hopped up to kiss him. He kissed back this time, sighing and running his fingers through Lance’s hair.

“Of course I do...I was hoping you would ask. I don’t really know how long you’re supposed to wait before becoming boyfriends but, but I don’t want to wait any longer. I want every single girl and boy in this school to know that Shiro is mind, and he’s all hands off!” Lance smiled wide once again, “Except these ones of course.” Lance wiggled his fingers, looking a little bit evil, to say the least. Shiro couldn’t help but laugh at his expression.

 

Together they walked to Shiro’s apartment, hand in hand most of the way, where Shiro prepared some very high-end, fancy Kraft mac n cheese. While he cooked, Lance was on the floor, pulling out Blue’s pop-up bowls for her food and water. Shiro smiled, snapping his fingers suddenly.

“Oh, hey! I just remembered, stay right there!” Shiro stepped over Blue, running off to his room before Lance could ask any questions. He came back with his arms stacked full of...dog stuff. “I bought some things, I hope you don’t mind..?” He set them down, various things tumbling in various directions. The biggest item was a huge dog bed. “I got her her own bed since I know you don’t want her to get used to being on the human bed.” He fluffed it up, then swallowed thickly. He was a little apprehensive. He’d never really done this part for Lance. “It’s um... it's a light pastel pink, small white heart, and dog pattern that goes all around the edge. The inside part where she lays down is thick off-white alpaca wool, here…” He pulled Lance’s hand into the dog bed. “So soft right?” Lance was speechless, looking entirely shocked with his mouth in a sort of relaxed ‘o’ shape. His fingers curled into the fluffy material. He still didn’t speak, so Shiro nervously kept going, throwing the dog bed off to the edge of the living room. “Also some dog bowls- they’re both a pale lavender color. One has dog biscuit shapes going around the perimeter, the other has water droplets going around it. Y’know like, one for food and one for water..? They’re plastic. Here, hold them.” He handed them to Lance, watching him turn them over in his hands before setting them down in place of the pop-up bowls, his smile slowly growing. “I wasn’t really sure which types of toys she likes, but I remembered seeing a rope in your dorm..? I got her this huge rope, it’s braided blue and green.” He set that in Lance’s hands. “And finally, some dog treats that kinda look like shredded chicken..? I asked the clerk which treats were the most natural and had the least sugar, salt, no grain...hopefully they’re okay..? If she’s allergic I’m sure we can take it back, or take it all back if you don’t like it, or donate them or something, or-”

“ Shiro... shut up for a second, okay..?” Lance sniffed, and just then Shiro realized his eyes were sort of teary. “You really bought all these things..?” Lance paused to bite his lip.

“Well, if we are gunna be a thing, meaning you coming over more often, I hope...I wanted to make sure Blue would be comfortable here too and not all bored or whatever, y’know..?” Shiro put down the dog treats to pull Lance into his arms, rubbing up and down his back. Lance hugged Shiro tight, giving him a little slap on the chest.

“You’re too generous, Shiro. You better say thank you, you spoiled-rotten dog.” Blue got up, licking Shiro’s face a few times before taking her rope and walking off to gnaw on it.

“I think she likes it.” He hummed, turning slightly so he could kiss Lance at a better angle- until his noodle water boiled over and hissed on the stove. He jumped up, making sure Lance was upright before running to switch burners, groaning softly. “I’m not going to lie, I gotta be upfront with you, I am the worst cook known to man…” Shiro laughed, looking over his shoulder at Lance who was now in the dog’s bed.

“Either way, I’m starved enough to eat anything you make me. God, this thing is soft …”

Shiro turned back around with a shake of his head, seeing that Lance had crawled across the room to lay in the big dog bed.

 

Shiro set the table, putting Lance’s spoon on the left-hand side, remembering that that’s where he usually prefers it to be. He set his own spot directly across the table from Lance, that way he could stare. His favorite thing to do to Lance was just look. There was so much to watch, see, and his beauty was incredible at all times- yes. Even when eating. Shiro’s mind came to wonder...he had never seen any of Lance’s body aside from just the little bit of tummy that showed when he put his arms up while wearing a shirt that was probably a little too small. Or the very upper-thigh, while getting a little naughty. Granted, they could never really get too far, there were usually distractions and interruptions. Or Lance would blow him and they’d just cuddle...he was sure it was really nothing, maybe Lance would have preferred to show himself to a real boyfriend?

“Shiro...Shiro!” Shiro jumped, eyes wide as he looked at Lance. “Are you zoning out or what?” Lance laughed, carefully standing and moving his chair, feeling his way to the sink to wash his dish.

“No- I mean yes, kind of, I mean...yeah. Sorry.” Shiro sulked, following Lance with his own dish after sneaking Blue a cheesy noodle and a wink. He walked over quietly, tapping his foot once when he was behind Lance so he wouldn’t spook him. It was a tip that Hunk had suggested after Lance nearly took Shiro’s eye out a few times. He set the bowl in the sink, immediately curling his fingers around Lance’s slim hips, kissing the side of his neck. “Was it good..? You can be honest…”

“I tried telling you that but you were too busy with your girlfriend in La La Land...yes it was delicious.”

“I do not have a La La Land girlfriend…” Lance relaxed against Shiro’s chest, one hand resting over Shiro’s. Shiro pulled Lance’s hips closer to his own, kissing down to his shoulder, slowly lifting his shirt up to feel over Lance’s stomach, up his chest- until Lance shoved his hand away and huffed. “Eh..?” Shiro frowned, backing off. “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for yet but when Lance turned around looking angry his concern only grew.

“You have nothing to apologie for just- don't do that. I don’t want you to see.”

“See..?” Shiro frowned, shoulders kind of sagging.

“I-...Shiro…” Lance’s voice sounded weak, and Shiro wanted so badly to hug him. “I have scars all over my back, and ugly ones on my chest. I don’t like just- showing them off.”

“Sweetheart…” Shiro hummed, then swallowed audibly. “I um. Also, have so many scars. And I know you can’t see them but you can definitely feel them. My back and all over my shoulder, down my chest...even my legs. If anything, we’re a pair.” Shiro smiled, taking Lance’s hand. “It won’t bother me if that’s what you’re worried about. Here-” Shiro pulled back, lifting his shirt off and tossing it to the side. “Feel?”

“Dangerous game you’re playing.” Lance attempted a smirk, but reached out anyway, running his fingers over Shiro’s chest. “Feels just as beautiful as before…” He moved up, fingers stopping over a large, almost circular scar. “What’s this one from..?”

“I was shot. Inches from my heart…” The look on Lance’s face made him regret doing this at all. Anything but happiness crossing those eyes hurt Shiro. Bad.

“I’m so glad you lived.” Lance tilted his head up, hands moving up to those broad shoulders, pulling Shiro close and now holding his cheeks. “Do you ever...think about it? I mean, the war. Does it ever come back to you and...and it’s like it’s all happening again?”

“All the time.” Shiro nodded since Lance's hands were on his face. “It comes back and I just feel sick, and terrified...It’s like I’m back giving commands, sending my men to die…”

“I get that too...it’s scary. One moment I’m studying or playing with Blue, then I’ll hear something loud or screeching tires and suddenly I’m back in the car, watching the semi coming right for us…” Lance sighed, biting at his own bottom lip, sort of chewing nervously until he tasted blood.

“Lance! I’ll get a tissue- I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about it okay?” Shiro quickly grabbed a paper towel, dabbing it gently along Lance’s bottom lip. “There…”

“Well, maybe I want to. You sort of deserve to know, you told me your tragic and traumatic stuff. I don’t mind sharing, I just. I’ve held it in ever since, and I’m sick of doing so. Maybe if I talk about it I’ll feel better..? I don’t know.”

“Have you thought about counseling..?”

Lance paused, then looked down, even angrier. “I don’t need therapy, Shiro.” Lance lifted his head, looking up at Shiro’s face, right in his eyes. It kind of shook Shiro to his core. “But if you don’t want to hear about it that’s fine. I don’t have to share.”

“No that’s not what I meant I just. A therapist could have better words and coping methods than what I can offer, you know..? I went to therapy for a long time after getting out of the military, actually...I’m still in it. I have this thing called PTSD...post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s like, all those bad things come back and I sort of have a meltdown.” Shiro held Lance’s hips, rubbing them gently with his thumbs. “They didn’t know until a little while after when...some bad stuff happened. But I’m better now, and I feel way better after getting the help I needed.” It was somewhat of a lie. He still got meltdowns, still got flashbacks, but if Lance thought he was doing better because of therapy, that meant Lance might actually consider it. Maybe it would work for him.

“I... I didn't really know that was a thing. I’m sorry you went through that…” Lance sighed, rubbing his face and taking both of Shiro’s hands, putting them on his stomach, outside of the shirt. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“To..?”

“To see.”

Shiro paused for a moment, watching Lance’s eyes, watching his mouth, waiting to see if maybe this wasn’t the best time but- as he slowly lifted the shirt, pulling it over Lance’s head, his eyes were met with pure beauty. He tossed the shirt aside, lifting Lance up into his arms by the backs of his thighs, walking him over to a counter space where there wasn’t any water. Lance squeaked softly at first, then hummed and let out a soft sigh as Shiro began kissing his chest, hands roaming over his belly and back.

“I see nothing ugly about you, Lance...I don’t think I ever could. You’re so beautiful to me, scars and all…” Shiro worked a few marks into Lance’s skin, all of them below his collar bones just to make sure no one would see them. “I love your body. Everything about it makes me tick.” Lance groaned, eyes wide as his head fell back. “You’re gorgeous...perfect…”

Shiro worked his way down, now bent over working a hickey into Lance’s hip, Lance squirming a bit on the counter where he sat, giggling and pushing on Shiro’s head. “Hah…Shiro wait- noooo~...” Shiro groped Lance’s thighs, tipping Lance back to lean on his elbows. He kissed each and every scar, slowly looking up at Lance's face, watching his bitten lips tremble. He pulled him off of the counter, turning Lance around to face away from him so he could pull his hips back. His ass fit perfectly flush against Shiro’s hips, so Shiro rolled them, slotting himself between perfectly round cheeks. Lance turned suddenly, taking Shiro’s hand. He pulled it up to his lips, kissing a fingertip before speaking breathlessly. “Bedroom…”

 

Shiro held Lance tight, held him close, and he didn’t stop holding Lance unless they needed to shift. He held Lance’s hips, his waist, his shoulders, wrists, hands, rocking their bodies together, their hot breaths mixing and swirling. Lance kept his eyes screwed shut out of sheer pleasure, but Shiro didn’t dare close his. He watched as he hooked a hand under Lance’s knee, pushing it up to pin it damn near beside his head, moving their bodies together quickly. Lance was surprisingly quiet, only hushed whines and weak moans, Shiro was huffing and grunting however, moaning often and making no effort to be quiet. Shiro finished, Lance following quickly soon after, and the tight squeeze had Shiro groaning.

Lance was the first to speak, his head falling back into the pillow. “You...I love the way you sound…” Lance whispered, pulling Shiro down to hug him tight. “Don’t...out yet…” His words were sort of fading in and out, but Shiro stayed where he was, closing his eyes finally and dropping his head into Lance’s neck, kissing whatever he could reach lazily.

“Good..?” Shiro rubbed up and down Lance’s sides gently, feeling his muscles twitch under each finger.

“So so good…” Lance smiled, slowly opening his eyes and directing his blank stare at the ceiling. “Shiro...um, thank you…”

“You don’t have to thank me for sex.”

“No I mean, thank you for...saying those things. To help me get over the scars. It’ll take some time to actually get over it but...I’m so happy to have you…” Lance visibly winced as Shiro pulled out, listened to him remove and throw away his condom.

“I wouldn’t have said any of it had I not meant it. I’m happy to have you too...sorry for suddenly jumping your bones like that.” Lance laughed. “What?”

“Do you really think I’m about to be complaining about it?” Lance shook his head. “Cuddle me?” Lance needn’t say another word, Shiro snuggled up beside him, tangling their legs and closing his eyes after resting his head on Lance’s shoulder.

“You’re gorgeous, you always will be. My perfect pearl.” A few more kisses and Lance’s soft, even paced breathing was a tell-tale that he’d drifted off to sleep, Shiro not too far behind him. “Pearl…”

Notes:

Woot!! Check out chapter updates on my twitter! @idontgiveadango

Chapter 6: Break Downs and Build Ups.

Summary:

A friend tells Lance some bad news, and all hell breaks loose in the Shirogane apartment.

Notes:

HELLO darker chapter! Yet another happy ending, you know I'm a sucker for make ups ouo
Warnings are the usual: war mention, depictions of PTSD, depictions of anger issues, Lance is kind of a major jerk but he realizes he's wrong so all ends well!

Months went by and had you asked either of the boys, they both felt that everything was going well. Perfect. Lance had grown more comfortable, getting dressed around Shiro, they’d even taken showers together and cuddled without clothes on with little to no awkwardness. Shiro didn’t mind talking about his past anymore, he felt relaxed around Lance as well. It was mutual, being together was just so easy. Lance’s classes were over before Shiro’s. He’d done his final exams earlier than anyone else because he needed someone to read questions and select his spoken answer. Clearly, can’t do that in a room full of other students. With Shiro so busy with studies and work, Hunk and Pidge as well, Lance was left to be bored out of his mind. He and Blue went on a few long walks, stopped by the shop while Shiro was in, mostly just sitting nearby so he could hear Shiro talk. That man had strong customer service skills. He had such a sweet voice, and Lance was sure that every person who walked up to the counter instantly fell in love with him. On his breaks, Shiro came and sat with Lance, kissing the bridge of his nose so gently each time, always asking if he was too bored to stay and always elated when Lance shook his head. Each day was good, each day passed and felt amazing.

 

This particular day, however, Lance had been sitting with the same tea for almost four hours without taking a single sip, looking perplexed. And a little bit angry...he wasn’t that great at concealing his emotions from showing on his face. Shiro watched him close, almost distracted by how Lance was now glaring at his table. When Shiro sat down for his break, water bottle in hand, Lance actually jumped , surprising Shiro entirely.

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lance answered shortly, standing and gathering his things. “Actually, I was just leaving.” He waited for Blue to stand, facing sort of in Shiro’s direction. “I’ll see you in the apartment later,” Lance said a few short commands to Blue and left the shop, leaving Shiro completely...shocked. Lance always said what was bothering him, or at least hinted at it. It made Shiro feel a little upset if he was being honest. He tried to think of an excuse as to why he could leave early, but he decided he actually needed the money and hours, he might as well stay.

 

When he walked into the apartment, he saw Blue on her dog bed, but no sign of Lance. Not even his bag, which he’d usually just toss anywhere he wanted with little care as for where it would end up. His shoes weren’t there either, also typically thrown about. Shiro sighed softly. “Lance I’m home..?” It was more of a question than a statement and he’d hoped for an answer back from him. Which he didn’t get. Shiro walked toward the bedroom, tapping on the door before walking in. Lance was face down on the floor, limbs all sprawled out, he still had his backpack and shoes on and he huffed when Shiro walked in. Turning his head only a little bit to speak.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” He spoke mostly into the carpet, Shiro really tried not to laugh, he knew this was serious but seeing that Lance hadn’t even made it the extra five feet to the bed was somewhat humorous.

“Did I do something..? You were fine this morning before your walk, what happened?”

“I saaaaid I don’t want to talk to you right now…” Lance rolled over, laying sort of sideways, stuck from his backpack with one arm up over his face.

“You left Blue’s harness on. Were you planning on leaving again or can I take it off of her..?” Shiro slowly sat down on the floor, putting on hand on Lance’s ankle. At hearing her name, Blue was now coming through the door, scratching against the bed to try and get her guide harness off. “Babe..?”

Lance grumbled, sitting up and throwing his backpack off, snapping his fingers for Blue to come to him. He removed the harness, fluffing up her fur. “There. Now please leave me alone!” Lance stood up, Shiro did too, Lance sped forward, knocking his shin on a box in Shiro’s room and falling forward. Shiro tried to catch him as best he could, but Lance’s weight brought both of them to the ground, his mech arm popping and steaming, crackling and zapping as wires snapped and the whole arm fell apart at the elbow joint. Dammit. It disconnected, so he just pulled it the rest of the way, the thing was clearly broken anyways.

“Lance!” Shiro looked over his arm, then just pushed the stupid thing out of the way. He started helping Lance up, petting his cheek. “Are you okay? I’m sorry I’ll move that box right away-”

“Stop touching me! I don’t want to be near you! You’re a liar!”

“Please, Lance, don’t yell okay? I’m sorry for whatever I did but let’s calm down first okay? Does your leg hurt?”

“No! I don’t want to calm down, I don’t want to do anything! I just want to leave and I can’t because I’m stuck here with you !” Shiro took a shaky breath, clenching his fists on his thighs.

“Lance, please calm down, I’m sorry-”

“Whatever! Get away from me! You don’t get it! You won’t even admit what you did!”

Shiro blinked, several times, gulped, stood up and backed away from Lance. He walked out the bedroom door, going into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. He slowly slid down against the wall to sit on the floor, covering his face with his hands. He took deep breaths. Inhale, exhale, hold… He did this several times until he could calm down, will away those horrid thoughts. The yelling sent him back, it pushed his brain to overdrive but he tried to control it. He didn’t want Lance to think this was his fault because as he blacked out, he’d realized the only one to blame for this was himself. He chose war. He chose to walk right into a situation he knew would alter him for life.

 

His world felt fuzzy, the edges of his mind just a little foggy still when he sat up. Lance was knocking on the door, begging him to come out. He reached up to touch his own face, it felt wet. He grabbed a towel to shakily wipe his eyes.

“Shiro, please? Please, please, I shouldn’t have yelled at you...it’s been an hour just answer me? I can’t find the key to the bathroom on my own…” Shiro stood, complying and opening the door, staring blankly at Lance.

“Sorry...I’m sorry…” Shiro reached up, cupping Lance’s cheek.

“What happened..? I can’t- are you hurt?” Lance reached out to feel Shiro’s hand, leaning his face into it.

“Not hurt I...my arm is broken. The mechanical one...when we fell it…” Shiro looked around, he felt so off. He didn’t feel like himself right now. He felt like he was moving through water. Like he could fall over at any moment. “An hour..? I need to sit down again...” Shiro watched Lance nod, his tongue felt swollen in his mouth as his eyes followed a tear rolling down Lance’s other cheek. Instinctually would have lifted his other hand to catch it and wipe it away but...the hand wasn’t there. So the tear slipped down his chin and neck, soaking into his shirt. Several more followed.

“James...James Griffin came to me this morning and. And he saw you kiss someone. In the library. You kissed her right there in front of anyone, for all to see, but he saw it and he told me…” Lance hiccuped, and Shiro furrowed his brows.

“What?”

“You-!” Lance inhaled, lowering his voice. “You heard me…” He gulped, pulling away from Shiro. “He said you guys were studying together, then when you got up to leave, you picked up your books, hugged and kissed her…”

“Lance the only person I was with this morning was a friend! Her name is Allura, I think you guys met once.”

“White hair? Tan skin?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s her!”

“Great. Because that’s the exact description James gave me, Shiro.” Lance turned, moving forward slower this time, making his way carefully into the living room, guiding himself with his fingers grazing against the wall. He sat heavily on the couch. “I already called Hunk, he’s going to come over and help me get my things…”

“No- No Lance wait! I have no reason to lie to you, let me explain? I think I remember, I know what happened.” Shiro was panicking, he felt like he was definitely going to throw up.

“Fine. You have about 20 minutes…”

Shiro sat down next to him. “Just promise me you’ll hear me out? We were studying this morning, yes in the library. We were. We haven’t spent a lot of time together in a while. So we probably were sitting a little too close.”

“ Sitting too close - I don’t care about that!” When Shiro jolted, Lance frowned, mumbling a soft ‘sorry’ before lowering his voice. “I don’t care about your seating arrangements, Shiro.”

“Well, I’m choosing to be completely honest with you without leaving any details out because that’s what you deserve.” Shiro sighed, fidgeting a bit in his seat. “When we both had to leave, I gathered my things and hugged her. And I kissed her cheek. I did. But it was friendly, it was just platonic. No feelings, no romance, just a friendly gesture. I can call her if you want, I won’t even tell her you’re here, I’ll just act like I forgot or something, you deserve to know whether or not I’m faithful. Even more so since you can’t see things for yourself.”

Lance was quiet for a moment. He felt...so incredibly stupid.  “I didn’t want to believe it at all. When he told me, I laughed at him, I laughed because I thought he was kidding but when he went on, told me exactly I just...he didn’t even say where I just assumed you kissed her lips.” Shiro opened his mouth to speak, but Lance stopped him. “You have nothing to apologize for and you don’t need to call anyone. I’ll just be embarrassing myself...I am totally being an ass. You didn’t deserve to be yelled at. For fuck’s sake, you were so quick to blame yourself for me tripping over the- a-and fuck your arm, baby…” Lance was all hands on Shiro now, feeling over the wires and tiny little artificial nerves. It actually...sorta felt good. Tickly. “This is all my fault. I’m a hothead sometimes, I need to learn how to cool it…I shouldn’t be so willing to fight.”

“I think I may have a friend you’d want to meet…” Shiro laughed quietly. “He actually made this arm. He’s responsible for the touch sensitivity, and I’m pretty sure he’s also the reason the Garrison has mindfulness and anger management classes.” Shiro and Lance laughed together, and Shiro reached over to bring Lance close. “Hey, I...I love you. This was a huge misunderstanding and had I been in your position, something tells me I would’ve reacted about the same way. Thinking someone you’re close with could be lying to you, or cheating, that’s scary stuff. And...maybe it was a good learning opportunity on how we handle our emotions around each other..?” Shiro smiled, leaning in to gently kiss Lance, breathing a soft sigh through his nose.

“You’re too good to me.”

“It’s my duty, dear.”

“Hehe...doodie…”

Shiro rolled his eyes, glancing up just as Hunk walked through the door.

“Oh good, you made up! I did not have enough energy bars to play mediator today…” Hunk sighed, then opened up his bag. “But~ I did bring brownies to aid in the process. No one can be mad eating one of these Garrett Signature Brownie.”

Shiro laughed, but Lance bumped him. “It’s true. They’re too good, dude. Black magic.”

Hunk grinned, setting his brownies on the counter and kneeling to pet Blue. “So we’re all cool then?”

“Yeah, all cool. I just jumped to conclusions as usual.”

“I’m telling you, man.” Hunk sighed, grabbing a brownie for each of the boys and handing it to them. “You gotta stop with the ‘get mad now, ask questions later’ mindset. Y’know who that helps? No one. Here.” After accepting the brownie, Shiro was on standby, looking at Lance and sorta watching his guilty expression. On the one hand, he was glad this was over and that he hadn’t actually done anything. On the other, slightly more damaged hand...he still hated that Lance felt so guilty for acting out. It wasn’t really uncalled for had Shiro actually cheated but he didn’t. He lifted the brownie to his mouth- “ Whoa dude your arm!” -and jumped again, dropping the damned thing on his lap. He whined. When would the shouting stop? He shamelessly ate the lap-brownie.

Lance flinched, groaning. “I know, I broke it! I’m the world’s biggest asshole today…”

“Where do you go to get it fixed?” Hunk crawled forward, looking over the arm and holding it up. “That super-sucks. Like, super-duper-sucks.”

“I’ve got a buddy that does it. He’s the one that made it. We do routine cleanings anyways, so I’ll just let him know it uh...might need some work.” Shiro laughed shyly, biting his lip and glancing at Lance, who was staring right at him. It made him jump.

“Shiro are you blind ! It is completely snapped, totally doomed, all hell broke loose on that thing!” Lance crossed his arms. “Take a day off tomorrow, after your tests we are going straight to...robot arm fixing guy.”

Shiro nodded, then sighed, slumping over and letting Hunk fiddle with the elbow joint of his arm, until Hunk shrieked and a loud zap rang out. There was a pause, then Lance and Hunk were laughing their asses off while Shiro hid his face.

“Alright, that’s it, no more toying with the arm...Hunk would you like to stay for dinner-”

“No way, if he sees your cooking he’s going to have a heart attack.”

Shiro gasped. “You told me my cooking was good!”

“Yeah but the bar is set low for me. Years of mac n cheese and ramen noodles, dude. Hunk? Hunk is a connoisseur of gourmet meals or something. Like, he judges the food. Hard. ”

“Oh chill out Lance, I’ll be nice.”

 

And he wasn’t. He tried not to make a face, but Shiro noticed right away that Hunk had a distaste for his...hardly-a-dish. “I-I could try again if you’d like..?”

Hunk shook his head. “Let me finish up. You go chill with Lance, I’ll fix this mess.” Hunk shooed Shiro out of the kitchen, Lance laughing it up. As usual. Shiro sat on the couch, leaning back a bit while Lance put his head in Shiro’s lap.

“Don’t take it hard, he means well. He just likes to make sure things are done right, y’know?” Lance smiled up at Shiro, eyes closed. “And...by the way. I love you too.” Shiro bent to kiss Lance, caressing his cheek as he did.

Shiro felt accomplished. Another day ending in smiles and nothing but love...it made him feel like he’d done something right. Like he really did have a purpose here on this Earth.

 

“I’m sorry- you WHAT!?”

“I said it was accidental, my boyfriend-”

“I didn’t ask how- but- but how does that even happen!? Your boyfriend what!? Did you shove it too far up his ass? Jack it too hard!? Please tell me it’s clean or I’m not touching it.”

“It’s clean- nothing sexual! We were kind of fighting, but he fell over and I tried to catch him-”

“Obviously you failed. I better see your ass first thing tomorrow morning!”

“I have classes in the morning, but if you’re that desperate I could always send you a picture of my ass. Does that suffice?” Shiro giggled, holding the phone away from his ear now.

“I OUGHT TO GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY MIND IF YOU THINK THIS IS SOME KIND OF JOKE, TAKASHI!!!”

Both Shiro and Lance were laughing, then the line went dead. “I told you he’s more of a hothead than you could ever dream to be, baby. Seriously.”

“I don’t know why I ever doubted you…so you’re gunna go see him first thing in the morning?”

“Yes, I already emailed my professors and rescheduled. Work is giving me a sick-day.”

“How come…his yelling doesn’t affect you? Is over the phone different or..?”

“Y’know...it used to. But. When you’re friends with someone who does nothing but yell? You sorta...accept it. I guess. Plus, we go way back. Way way back. He fought with me, he was right alongside me. For years. I guess he gets a ‘get out of jail free’ card on the yelling thing.” Shiro shrugged.

Lance didn’t feel jealous, not one bit. He liked that Shiro had the equivalent of a Hunk. Everyone needed their own Hunk in their lives.

“Goodnight, Shiro...or should I say- Takashi?”

“No. You definitely should not.” Shiro laughed, shaking his head. “Night…”

“Oh and by the way I uh...love you too. Shiro.” They kissed. Twice. Three times. Until Lance finally felt the weight of exhaustion press down on him. He smiled to himself, already dreaming up how perfect tomorrow would be.

 

He had no clue, whatsoever, what he was in for the next day.

Notes:

Ha! Who's the arm mechanic? Find out next time on: Shiro Doesn't Know What The Hell Is Going On!

You can find chapter updates on my twitter! @idontgiveadango

Chapter 7: I CAN'T

Summary:

Lance meets this Garrison Mechanic and absolutely hates him...at first.

Notes:

waaaah I am excited about this chapter. It was almost hard to write because I was so elated for what is to come next??? There is some happy stuff in here, but also points to some more negative background for Shiro~ (dundundun)

Lance found himself feeling pretty anxious throughout the morning while getting ready. He’d gone through several outfits, just trying to pick out the right one. He held each one up to Shiro, finally just throwing his clothes down onto the floor in frustration.

“Shiro! You’ve said every single one looks good! You’re not helping!!” He whined and Shiro laughed softly at him.

“That’s because they do look good, baby...you’re too stressed. He’s not going to judge your outfit. He’s not that shallow of a guy, Lance. Want me to pick something out for you?” Shiro wrapped his arm around Lance’s waist, leaning down to kiss his neck, to smooch up to his ear, nibble just behind it while groping his bum a little bit. Lance whined again but this time it was...different. “Hm..?”

“Stop it...you’re trying to start something.” Lance pushed against that broad chest but he didn’t really want Shiro to go anywhere.

“Nooo, I’m trying to help you relax. If you go in there all high strung, your first impression won’t be the real Lance. It’ll be the stressed out Lance who answers before thinking and says things he doesn’t mean. Right?”

Lance looked sorta grumpy, but only because Shiro was right. “Yeah, yeah...okay fine.” He took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling through his nose. He felt the stress burn through his lungs and flow out. “Okay...I’ll be okay. He’s just a mechanic right? Yeah.”

Shiro let Lance talk himself through it, then walked over to the closet, going through some of the clothes in there. They’d organized Lance’s side of the closet so that it would be easier for him to find his own outfits. They had them color coordinated, alternating each color from plastic hangers to metal to those weird cloth ones...that way he could differentiate sections independently. Shiro grabbed a red shirt with a surfboard on it and black tight-fit jeans, plopping them onto the bed and putting the other outfits away. “There you go. I think those will look nice. Do you want a bracelet today? You have that new one your aunt sent you with the lil furry seeds and tiny red marbles?”

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” Lance pulled off his (Shiro’s) shirt, pulling on the red one.

“Backwards.”

“I knew that. Making sure you’re paying attention.” Lance pouted and flipped his shirt around.

Shiro went through Lance’s jewelry, and also his own, picking out pairs of earrings, bracelets, then held up a soft velvet little box. “Lance, what’s this?”

“Huh?”

“Palm-sized black box, I’ve never seen it before.”

“Oh- put that back. You can’t look yet.” Lance turned, his pajama pants down to his knees now, and he nearly tripped over them while trying to get to Shiro.

“Okay, okay I’ll put it down, don’t knock yourself out over it.” Shiro laughed, holding Lance up with an exaggerated grunt. “Gotta preserve my only other arm, for Christ’s sake,” Lance whined again; he was feeling especially whiny today. Shiro kissed him sweetly and sat him on the bed. “Calm down. It’s okay, you’re okay, everything is okay.” He tipped Lance back, tracing his fingers down the inside of Lance’s thigh, stopping at his pajamas that hadn’t made it all the way off. He removed them, fingers now lingering at Lance’s ankle. He watched the boy below him breathe a little shakier. “You’re gorgeous, but I think we might actually be late if I act on impulse right now…” Shiro pulled back, one last kiss to Lance’s chest before standing up all the way. He all but cackled when he dodged a kick, and a swing, tackling Lance back onto the bed when he tried to come at him. Even one-armed, Lance was no match for him.

Unless he gave in, of course.

 

And he did. He gave Lance what he wanted before they finally left after both of them actually got dressed. They weren’t late, thank goodness. They were actually a little bit early. Lance chose a really light-duty harness for Blue since he’d be nearby Shiro the entire time and they weren’t really doing much other than stand-by to wait for the arm. He went without the guide bar, opting only for a regular vest with patches that said ‘DO NOT TOUCH, MY HANDLER BITES’ ‘Do Not Approach’ ‘Daddy says I’m special’ and a smaller one that just said ‘Blueberry McClain’ with a heart and a teeny tiny lion. The vest had a paracord handle on it that someone made for him for his birthday, and that was good enough for something like this.

As they walked in, the smell of oil and dust hit Lance’s nose and made him sneeze violently into his shirt, which in turn made Shiro snort and laugh at him. “I’m putting pepper on your pillow.” Lance glared at him through his Aviators, well, as best he could anyway.

“Oi, get that thing out of here!” A grumpy looking man stepped out of one of the smaller shops, pointing in the direction of Shiro and Lance. Lance froze, biting at his lip instantly.

“C’mon man, it’s a working dog.” Shiro pulled away from Lance to put his hand on his hip, ready to let loose on whatever jerk-off decided to mess with them.

“Maybe he’s not talking about the dog,” A head popped out of another shop, one with a smirk. It was Keith, blowing a few stray hairs out of his face as he stepped the rest of the way out, showing off that he had been covered practically head to toe in grease, holding a wrench in one hand and hammer in the other hand. He was tall, thin, long black hair braided over his shoulder with a dingy red hair tie holding it at the end.

“Keith!” Shiro walked away from Lance, skipping a handshake and going straight in for a hug.

“Hey, buddy. Long time, no see.” Keith’s voice sounded muffled, Lance imagined his face was getting squished by Shiro’s amazing chest. He smirked. That was like, the best place to be. According to everyone who had been in that spot. Seriously. Even Blue had the opportunity sometimes. After they’d pulled away, Keith turned his attention toward the other pair. “Now, who’s this lanky string bean, mm? Definitely not your usual type...”

“This is Lance, and be nice.” Their footsteps got closer, and Lance straightened himself.

Keith offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, I’m Keith Kogane. I run the mechanics program here at the Garrison.” Lance offered his hand back, the wrong one of course. Shiro reached over, pulling Lance’s right hand up instead. Lance’s face was burning hot and he about chewed a hole into his lip.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Lance. Obviously. You already knew that. Shiro just said...” Lance laughed nervously, gripping Blue’s harness tighter.

“Hey dude, calm down. I’m not gunna bite. Probably.” Keith pulled his hand away, looking over Lance, then Blue. “So what’s the dog for?”

“That’s kind of rude, Keith-”

“No, it’s fine. I’d rather you ask than assume.” Lance stopped Shiro, lightly bumping their hands together. “I’m blind. Can’t see a thing.” Lance hummed, feeling anxious all over again. His lower gut felt shifty like he’d have to find a bathroom in a bit…

“What’s your college major then?”

“I Uh...don’t really know yet. I haven’t actually picked one. I wanted to be a zoologist but y’know, can’t really observe animals like this.”

“Why not?” Keith pressed, getting a disapproving glance from Shiro. He ignored it.

“I can’t see , dude. You have to see to observe.” Lance crossed his arms, brows furrowed. Yes, he was pouting because he hated Keith now. Definitely.

“Is your nose broken too? Your ears? Your fingers? There’s more to observation than sight. Like right now. I know you’re getting upset at me judging purely by the fact that the pitch of your voice has gone up a bit. Can’t observe that with my eyes right? What about your dog? You know things about her that no one else does purely based on non-visual observation. Her barks, panting, maybe she paces, or how many times she walks in circles in her bed before laying down?”

Lance was speechless. He’d never really had someone push him like that. He never had someone force him to not feel sorry for himself. “I…” Lance had no words

Shiro clapped, cutting them off. “Okay, well. We are here for my arm, right?” He handed over a bag with the forearm and bicep halves of his mech arm, also trying to diffuse the tension that was filling the air.

 

Keith brought the pair, and dog, into his shop, laying out the two halves of the arm out on his table, tossing his previous tools onto a cart. “And what the hell broke this, again?”

“Lance was falling so I went to catch him, the weight of him snapped the elbow joint.”

“You calling me heavy?”

“Too heavy for a robotic arm? Yes.”

“At least you’re honest.” Lance laughed softly, arms crossed again, the fingers of his right hand rubbing against the leather leash. Lance zoned out for a moment while the other boys talked about what Keith would have to fix. He wondered what Keith looked like, what his ethnicity was, what he was wearing. He wondered what the cart looked like, and what all those tools, which made so much noise, were for. What was written on them? He snapped out of it when he’d heard his name several times.

“Lance. Lance? Lance!”

Lance jumped, turning his attention toward Shiro. “Eh..? Sorry. What?”

Keith snapped his fingers. “Come over here. I want you to help me put your man’s arm back together.” Keith laid out some tools. Lance walked over, surprised when Keith snatched his hand and put it on the arm. “This is the bicep. It has a pulley-type system sort of like muscles do. Here, feel it.” Lance let Keith guide his hand, fingertips grazing against the long, thick rubber band things. “When he brings the forearm up, they pull up like this.” Lance felt it, lips parted in slight awe. What was the point of this..? He knew the basics of a pulley. He’d never really seen one, but he got the idea. “Then when it relaxes, goes down like this.” Keith further explained. “So when he tried to catch you, those bands snapped.”

“Are you trying to rub it in, or what?”

“No, Lance. You’re going to fix them.”

“I- excuse me? I’m sorry I don’t think I can, okay?”

“Nope. There’s no I can’t in this shop.” He put some tools in either of Lance’s hands. “I need help and Shiro is useless.”

“Hey!” Shiro pouted and stuck his hand in his back pocket.

“I’ll guide you, okay? But you need to believe in yourself for a moment. Because you’re fully capable of doing this. Give Blue to Takashi.”

 

Keith kept his word and led Lance through the entire process of fixing both halves of Shiro’s arm. Lance expressed frustration several times but each time, Keith gave him a way around it. But it wasn’t peaceful. Not by any means. There was yelling. Shiro thought this would’ve been a time to make friends, but as they argued back and forth, he sort of regretted it.

There was a loud slam, Lance had thrown down one of his tools. “Ugh!! This is so dumb!”

“I already told you where it is, just find it!”

“I can’t!! You’re annoying and I can’t see the stupid screw you’re talking about!”

“Your screwdriver is magnetic, just feel for it! These other pieces are aluminum so it won’t stick to those!” Keith watched as Lance obeyed, albeit grumpily, the screwdriver clicking into place in the cross shape of the screw.

“Oh…” he frowned, starting to unscrew.

“Told you. No, turn it the other way. Lefty-loosey righty-tighty. I already told you that.”

“Okay! Jeez...” Lance did a few more, each one slowly dismantling the arm.

“There. Perfect, keep going.” Keith patted Lance on the back. “That’s it! See? That’s the last plate we need to remove. Now, these are the new bands.” Keith pulled them out of the bag, putting them in Lance’s hands. “Let me get the snapped ones out first.” He removed them quickly.

He watched closely as Lance put the arm together, asking fewer questions as he went on and became more confident. Keith occasionally gave encouragement, smiling and smirking up at Shiro who was shocked, to say the least. When it was finished Keith grinned up at Shiro, gesturing to Lance.

“I did it!!” Lance jumped, clapping excitedly, lifting his arms in the air and just throwing himself in Shiro’s general direction.

Shiro thrust forward to catch him, eyes wide. “Whoa! Careful!” Shiro laughed, rubbing Lance’s back and kissing his cheek. “You did do it. It looks all back to normal. You should work here!” He held Lance closer, nuzzling into his neck and glancing at Keith who looked at the pair fondly.

“Hm...I can’t say I’m not impressed. That was an incredible speed for anyone in this shop to get something done. You’ve got some learning to do but. Come back to me when you’re out of college? Something tells me there might be a position for you here if you wanted it.” Keith clapped a hand over Lance’s shoulder, turning him so they were facing each other. “Believe in yourself, okay? Being blind doesn’t immediately cut off all chances of being someone. You get to choose what defines you because your disability sure as hell doesn’t. You might have to work a little harder, and so what? We all have to work at different levels to achieve something.”

Shiro sighed, looking over Keith with a fond look.

Lance and Keith connected the two halves, then re-attached it to Shiro’s shoulder together. Seeing Lance’s face light up when he succeeded, seeing the way he would grin when Keith would tell him a new method of doing something that made it easier.

And once the arm was on, and once Shiro tested it out with a peal of joyous laughter, Lance felt like he could cry. Shiro pulled Lance close again, running the cold metal fingers through his hair, lifting the aviator’s up to look at his gorgeous blue eyes. “I am so proud of you, Lance.”

Keith turned away to begin cleaning up the mess on his tables and cart, wiping up lubricant and oils, throwing away the old bands. He thought, remembered how amazing and good it felt to be in those arms. And hear those words. It made him smile, to see Shiro so happy and Lance even happier. He lifted his head again, looking over to watch Shiro place a gentle kiss on Lance’s forehead, Lance giggling and Blue nuzzling between their knees to get more attention. A happy little family.

 

Lance thanked Keith multiple times on their way out, Shiro doing the same but for different reasons. Once Lance was back in the car, Shiro hugged Keith tight. “Keith, man, how can I ever repay you..? You have no idea, you might have seriously just changed a life.”

“Bring him back when he graduates. Let me hire him and teach him more or something, okay?”

“You’re such a softy,” Shiro smirked, hands on his hips.

“Shut up or I’ll show you soft-” Keith squeaked as he was pulled into a hug, but quickly wrapped his arms around Shiro as well. “Just come back again soon, alright? That’s how you can repay me. Show your face around here more often. We miss you here, and...we all worry. It’s nice to see you smiling again.” As Shiro pulled away, Keith looked him dead in the eyes. “I uh...yeah.” He toed at the concrete floor of the shop.

Shiro laughed, shaking his head. “I love you too, man. I’ll see you again soon, I’m sure. Something tells me he won’t shut up about it if we don’t end up here over the break. Text me. Don’t forget or you’ll pay.”

“Ten bucks and a pail of water from the well, right?”

“Right!” They laughed and their little inside joke, Shiro walking backward out of the shop door, waving one last time and watching Keith sigh before he let the door close. That familiar pang in his chest, he gripped at his shirt, listening to the click-click of the lock on the door. He frowned, but turned around and saw Lance talking wildly into his phone through the window. He smiled again, letting out a deep sigh and walking to the car. He climbed in, immediately bombarded with Lance’s bouncing and excited conversation. He laughed along with him, agreeing with each and every ‘Right Shiro!?’ and nodding his head, gripping the steering wheel tight. The phone call ended after another five minutes, and there was a bit of a tight silence. Shiro dared to inhale, the air sort of burning in his lungs. Anxious.

“How long have you known Keith?” When Lance spoke, he couldn’t really breathe anymore, he couldn’t inhale or exhale, he was choking on the in-between of truth and lie.

“Since…” Shiro paused to think. “Before the war. We’ve always been close.”

“Any reason why?”

“No.”

“Shiro, are you sure? People don’t get close for no reason, I’m just wondering.”

“I don't think I’m ready to go that far back in my past. Let’s make a time to talk about that when I’m safe at home. I don’t want to ruin a perfect day with my story-telling.” He parked at the apartment, getting out of the car and assisting Lance in getting Blue out as well. Lance sort of had this pouty face, and Shiro kissed his cheek. “I’m not mad at you for asking questions. I’m just not ready to answer yet. That’s all.” He held Lance’s hand as they went inside, as they fell into bed, as Lance fell asleep for a nap. He didn’t want to let go of Lance. He didn’t want to lose anything, and that was his fear. If he went further into his background would Lance really stick around? What if he was too much to deal with? Too much to handle… Shiro looked over Lance’s sleeping form. He was dirty from the shop. He had a black smear across his cheek, and Shiro couldn’t help but kiss just next to it. Lance looked so happy even when he slept. To think the visit started so poorly, only to end on a high note. Shiro was startled out of his thoughts at the sound of his phone, he blinked a few times before lifting it while his heart raced.

 

> It was nice to see you today. Your boyfriend is cute.

> He thinks so too, don’t worry

> Seems like the type to know he’s cute.

> Yeah

> You know you could’ve had my arm done in like ten minutes instead of the hour and a half

> Ten minutes to finish an arm, hour and a half to build up his confidence? I’d say it was worth it. Next time it’ll take him only an hour. Then 45 minutes. Then 20 minutes. Before you know it he could be fixing up mechs left and right.

> You’re a good man, Keith. You should’ve seen the look on his face when he talked to his friend the whole way home. This may have been the day that beats all days.

> Well duh, any day spent with me is the best day ever.

> Good lord, I’m putting this phone down now. I’ll talk to you again soon, okay?

> Soon or you’ll pay ;)

 

Shiro sighed, for the umpteenth time that day, staring up at the ceiling. He needed to tell Lance. ASAP.

Notes:

:3 Well? Did you like the mechanic~? Keith and Lance get their bonding moment purely so I can make that joke later >:) but also I just like Softy Keith cuz he is a cutie too. What do you think about him running the mechanics section of the Garrison? I just like the image of Keith holding a wrench with one hand on his hip and a braid and....I'm drooling.
You can find chapter and fic updates on my twitter! @idontgiveadango

Chapter 8: In The Now

Summary:

*This chapter contains graphic depictions of wartime events and PTSD.*

Shiro's past, featuring Keith.

Notes:

HOLY crap you guys. This...took so long. I have been incredibly sick, I ended up going to the hospital and it just all around sucked haha. But also this chapter got rewritten about a thousand times so that's another reason this took like ten years. I really hope you enjoy!! Please head my warnings, if you're sensitive to descriptions of blood and gore just avoid this! (Also this contains a lotta Sheith so~)

It was almost too quiet even as rain poured down over Shiro’s face, obscuring his sights on his soldiers. With different hand commands, he moved them forward or stopped them in their tracks. As they proceeded, Shiro assumed the enemy was behind every corner, stepping as silently as he possibly could. But silent meant nothing when the enemy already had the upper hand. They had high-ground. An unfair advantage, but an advantage all the same. There was no ‘fair’ in war. This wasn’t like the movies and video games, the Good Guy didn’t always win. The Good Guy didn’t always live. There was no second chance, no respawn, it was all or nothing. Death or life. Shiro had never considered himself a religious man, but without fail, each time before war broke out, Shiro found himself in silent prayer. A prayer for his men, for his mother, should he die, a prayer for Keith...a prayer for his sanity. He never took too long or got too distracted with it, but in their moment of silence before starting the mission, it was the perfect time  All it took was one wrong move, a short-lived false sense of security where they stood. Bullets were whizzing by their heads, penetrating helmets and chest plates, knocking down soldier after soldier. Shiro quickly lifted his weapon, firing at the source, filling in where men were going down and opening up holes in their defense. Over his radio, which he barely heard through shots and screams and explosions, his sniper was already locked on and awaiting cues. He gave the okay, turning to see one of his newbies just standing there, shaking like a leaf. “OI!!” He waved his arms to get his attention, and from the corner of his eye, he’d only barely caught the blur of a grenade thrown near them.

Just as he’d shoved his sitting-duck of a private out of the way, heat exploded through Shiro’s right side, he couldn’t even tell where the epicenter of rippling pain was, it just hurt. He cried out, his left hand digging into the mud to try and ground himself. He was able to lift himself back to his feet, seeing the shocked look in the soldier’s eyes. “Go!! Un-ass! If you freeze up in the field what use are you to me?! You’re leaving your team to die! Fight like the soldier you are!” Shiro was shot back onto his ass before he knew what hit him, left staring up at the sky. The rain stung his skin and eyes as Shiro blinked several times before the world stopped swirling and came back into focus. For a moment, his vision was only black and white, there was no color to his surroundings. His eyes traced every last dead body, begging any higher power that none of them were Keith. At this moment, he knew he failed. He knew he messed it all up. What sort of captain let all of his men die on the battlefield? Shiro closed his eyes again. It hurt to breathe. He heard a familiar voice screaming his name and it was as if his own pain vanished for a few seconds as he pushed himself up on his left elbow. He attempted to crawl further into cover, but as he tried to switch weight, left to right, he shrieked once again in pain. He fell onto what remained of his right shoulder, sobbing and rolling onto his back as fast as he could to relieve some of the throbbing sensations that were pulsing through his torso. Shiro felt a wave of nausea surge up, and through the sound of gunfire, explosions, and shouting, he heard a small body hitting the blood-soaked earth beside him and it had him answering before he was even asked anything.

“I’m fine, go back-”

“Shut up, you’re not fine! Where’s your radio?” Shiro moved to grab it, but Keith pressed him back into the ground. “Stop moving!” He opted instead to pat Shiro down, feeling for the radio. Shiro tried to stop him, but Keith slapped his hand away each time. “ Stop it!” As soon as his fingers smoothed over it, he ripped it up and off of Shiro’s body. “This is First Lieutenant Kogane- Captain Shirogane is down, get a medic to the southside now , we are losing blood out here! Send in more troops too, under heavy fire!”

Shiro tried to slow down his breathing, he even tried closing his eyes but that seemed to make it worse for that short snip of time. He was too hot, too cold at the same time and now he was starting to get pretty tired. He opened his eyes again, blinking away the blur once more. “Keith..?”

“Yeah, I’m right here, baby...I’ve got you Takashi…” Keith leaned down, holding Shiro’s head, kissing his forehead, kissing down his cheek, ignoring the blood that ran down his face. As he kissed his lips and traced over his jaw, he finally broke the tough act. “The hell were you thinking!? If you die, you bet your ass I’m going to resurrect you and kill you again.” Keith’s voice shook and Shiro couldn’t answer, all he could do was shiver. He wasn’t sure if he was really cold anymore, or if it was the pain taking him over. “Stay calm okay..? I know it hurts. If you think you’re going to pass out warn me first, understand?”

Shiro nodded this time, gripping Keith’s uniform as best he could, letting out a choked, pained cry. “You...get back out there and fight, I’ll be fine, they’ll come to get me soon, okay?”

“No, I’m staying here with you, Kashi-”

“You have to, Keith-”

“No!”

“That’s an order , Lieutenant.” Shiro looked into Keith’s eyes, watching the struggle, the flashes of multiple emotions before he’d made his decision.

“Order rejected, Captain.” Keith tore fabric away from Shiro’s shredded clothing, doing his best to apply pressure to the area, looking around them for Shiro’s arm, but after not seeing it within a half minute he gave up. Shiro’s life was more important to him than the stupid arm. “Until medics get here, I’m not leaving your side. Not as a soldier, as your boyfriend. I love you, so much, don’t you dare die on me Kashi!” Seeing the tears in Keith's eyes was gut-wrenching, Shiro hated seeing that face so broken.

But Shiro didn’t have it in him to fight, he just wanted this pain to stop, he just wanted this nausea to go away. In fact...now that he thought about it, he was sort of going numb. His fingertips on his left hand were tingling, and he couldn’t really feel his legs. He couldn’t remember if he had both or not and lifting his head right now was entirely impossible. He blinked to uncross his eyes, his ears ringing overtop of Keith talking. He opened his own mouth to speak, only letting out a short grunt as the edges of his vision went dark. The last thing he saw was the fear and sadness in Keith’s eyes before light’s out.

 

Shiro woke up feeling too warm with muscles that were burning no matter how much or how little he moved. Every inhale burned his airways with air that was much too cold, and each exhale seared his lungs. His mouth tasted like pennies and he didn’t even dare to open his eyes. From what he could hear, he felt like he was in the infirmary. There was a weight right against his stomach. It was warm, but it was making him nauseous. That damn nausea again. He parted his lips to speak but closed them again. His tongue felt swollen, too big for his mouth. Shiro slowly opened his eyes, groaning softly. He clenched his left fist, letting out a sigh and wincing at the bright lights.

He was indeed in the infirmary, the head of his bed lifted slightly so he was almost in an upright position. Again his world was spinning, but he pushed through it and looked down toward his stomach where he felt a slight pressure.

Keith, dressed in the standard gray Garrison uniform, was sitting slumped over in a metal fold-out chair, head on Shiro’s stomach. His black locks were tied back, and Shiro’s hand instinctively went to the hair at the base of Keith’s neck. He pushed his finger under the hair tie, pulling it off and taking a loose fistful of black strands. He couldn’t control the ugly sob that tore past his lips, seeing Keith with only but a scratch over his eyebrow and bruise on his cheekbone. Seeing that he survived, that he was okay.

Keith woke up easily, blinking a few times before sitting up. He turned his face and all but crashed his lips against Shiro’s. In between kisses, he spoke angrily against Shiro’s lips in typical Keith fashion. “I hate you! You risked your life and all for what!? For what , Takashi!?”

“For you, Keith. If I didn’t move like that, move that idiot, we were all just target practice to pick off one by one and we would never finish our missions, would we...” Shiro sighed, kissing back even if it made his head hurt. He tightened his grip in Keith’s hair, pulling him closer. “What you see as ‘for no reason’ in reality is because I love you...besides. I lived, didn’t I? Why are you mad?” He knew the answer, he didn’t even know why he asked.

“Look at you! You’re all...all banged up. Your arm- have you seen yourself? You look like you went through the meat grinder, Shiro.” Keith lifted his hands to cup Shiro’s cheeks gently, thumbing over his cheekbones and wiping away the tear trails. “I hate this. I wish I’d never met you. You make my job so difficult,” Keith said through tears. Shiro only smiled. Of course, Keith didn’t mean it. He said it all the time but the truth was...even if loving each other made their jobs and lives hard, neither of them would ever change the past. Shiro would never regret meeting Keith and loving him the way he does. Like a friend, a brother and a partner.

Keith kissed him, again and again, ending further and further upon Shiro’s lap until he was straddling the other man.

“Don’t think the nurse will be too happy when she comes to check on me…”

“The nurse can kiss my clean, white ass.”

 

When Shiro was allowed back to their shared bunk, he avoided all mirrors like the plague for days on end. Sure, he’d seen himself after battles many times before. It was nothing new. But each time, he came back with all four limbs still on his body. Not this time. He stood in the bathroom in the dark, just gathering up the courage to turn the lights on. Keith came behind him and wrapped his arms around Shiro’s middle, kissing up to his shoulder, up the side of his neck. He sighed softly, rubbing Shiro’s sides and hips reassuringly.

“You don’t have to do it, Kashi. You don’t ever have to look if you don’t want to. But I think you should. One day you’ll see it on accident and that will just be worse don’t you think?”

“I know I just...I don’t want to, I don’t. But you’re right. I have to do it soon enough.”

“Then do it. Don’t ease into it just go for it.”

“I don’t know…”

“You just said you have to, so do it. I’m turning the light on-”

“K, wait!”

“No! You need to just jump in. Don’t hesitate. Ready? In 3, 2, 1-”

“Keith I don’t want-”

But it was too late, Keith had reached over, flipped the switch on, and Shiro was left to stare wide-eyed at his own torso with his mouth agape. The stitches and staples, discolored skin, and ultimately the shoulder, chewed apart by the grenade. In seconds, flashes of the bomb going off, men dying before him, the pain racking his entire body-

Before he knew it, Shiro found himself on his knees before the toilet, retching and gripping the bowl with white knuckles. Keith was apologizing over and over, but Shiro could barely hear him. His ears were ringing, and those images wouldn’t go away. Those images didn’t go away after that. Ever. They only ever got worse. Each and every night they replayed as they pleased, sometimes more gruesome than the actual event itself. Sometimes tamer than. Sometimes things that didn’t happen would replay in the darkness of their bedroom. Keith dying an excruciating death was one of the worst things his brain came up with. And with the gore-filled dreams, Shiro got no rest. Within only a half hour of being asleep, he’d wake up screaming and clutching whatever he could- occasionally fighting and striking at the air- or worse. Keith. There were a few mornings that he’d wake up to find Keith quickly covering a busted lip or a black eye, and each time it made his stomach twist and turn.

 

“Do you think we should start sleeping in separate beds..?” Shiro asked one night, nervous and timid.

Keith looked up just as he was climbing under the covers, now frowning. “No. I do not think that at all. Why..?”

“Keith, look at your face- you...people are going to start asking questions.”

“Let them ask. I’m stronger than you think.”

“Strong enough to standby and let your boyfriend attack you in bed, night after night-”

“It’s not your fault. You’re sick, you can’t help it.”

“Keith-”

“You’re sick!” Keith snapped through the tears streaming down his cheeks. “You’re sick, but you’ll get better. You didn’t hit me last night, you only screamed- we can just talk to the psychiatrist again. They’ll know what to do.”

Shiro was silent for a moment as he also climbed into bed. “I just...worry. I don’t want to hurt you again…”

“That’s why it doesn’t bother me. I know you would never do it if you weren’t being controlled by this evil disease.” Keith sighed, curling up to Shiro’s side. “I’m not going anywhere unless you make me. Even then, I’ll fight you tooth and nail.”

 

Fight tooth and nail, he did. Shiro’s condition worsened, and he became tense, depressed, anxious everywhere he went, he wouldn’t sleep for three nights straight just to avoid his demons that were always watching, waiting for him to just close his eyes. He’d constantly be checking over his shoulder, paranoia keeping up with him day to day, following his every move. Keith finally gave in, going to the doctors on base himself. He gave them full detail, told them about the hitting, the screaming night terrors, the fear in Shiro’s eyes whenever he’d drift off, then all but begged for a medical discharge on the means of post-traumatic stress disorder. Keith held back his tears, maintained his best professional posture, but the doctors and generals could see his concern for Shiro’s health. They gave him what he wanted, and he thanked them profusely before leaving back to his quarters. He hoped Shiro wouldn’t hate him for this, but when he saw him doubled over in phantom pains, he knew it was for the best. This is what Shiro needed in order to heal. He would never get the right help here- this isn’t where they kept the ‘best of the best’ and Keith knew that.

When Shiro received the news, Keith held him. Keith kissed him and ran his fingers through thick black hair. He admitted it was his doing, he had nothing to hide. “I did it for you. So you can beat this. If you stay here you’ll never get better. They’ll pay for every step of your recovery, baby...this is for the best…”

“I know...I know, you’re right but…”

“No. No buts. This has to happen...accept the discharge, and go get better. I’ll be right here waiting for you. And I promise you, I’ll visit. Okay..?”

 

Shiro spent the next seven months in a hospital, rehabilitating. He took their medications, did their therapy (both group and one-on-one) and re-told his story so many times it was beginning to feel like someone else’s. It was starting to feel like...he could disassociate from what he’d done. When Keith came to visit, they were hardly allowed any physical contact. Couldn’t kiss or hold, touch or feel, which almost made it worse. To have Keith right here in front of him, but still not be allowed to hold his waist, or nuzzle his neck. Until he was let out, they hadn’t even so much as held hands. So seeing Keith waiting outside with outstretched arms, it took every bit of strength not to cry. He ran through the door, dropping his bag to lift Keith into the air with a one-armed hug, setting him down again only so they could kiss and feel again. He’d grown a lot more strength in his left arm now with the light physical therapy, and Keith told Shiro in sweet tender words how amazing he was.

“I knew you could do it, I knew this would work...you’re better now, you’ll be so much happier…”

“We can have our life back, maybe they’ll let me back in and I can fight alongside my favorite lieutenant again,” Shiro smirked, going in for a kiss but when Keith stopped him with only the somber look in his eyes, Shiro frowned. “Right..?”

“I’m not...first lieutenant anymore. They gave me the option to continue past my contract or…”

“Or what?” Shiro stepped back. “Keith this was your dream- you were one rank from Captain- you had it in the bag, especially with me gone!”

“I didn’t want it so bad once you left! It wasn’t the same- I stayed with the garrison but...I’m a mechanic. Sort of. I’ve been building prosthetics for the amputees, it’s a new program but they’re trying it out. They named the new section after you- in your honor.”

“My honor? What honor is there in becoming sick, in being forced to leave my job because I was too weak to keep my head!”

Keith held Shiro’s hand. “Stop it. You’re not weak and I don’t want to hear that. I am rejecting the invitation to Shiro’s pity party, now let’s go to the shop...I made you something.” Shiro huffed, following Keith to his car, silent on the ride over to the Garrison base.

Keith sang softly with the radio as he always did, hair flowing in the wind. It looked so long now...he felt like he’d missed too much. Things around him were changing and he had no control. What if he was meant to stay in that institution? What if he couldn’t be independent? Keith still sang their song loud and clear, moving his head and shoulders along with it as if he’d never missed a beat.

“When I’m workin’, yes I know I’m gunna be, I’m gunna be the man who’s workin’ hard for you~...when the money, comes in for the work I do I’ll pass almost every penny onto you~...”

It made Shiro’s heart skip a bit as he reached over to gently squeeze Keith’s thigh. A silent ‘I love you.’ Keith took a different road, one that was unused. They’d torn out the inside of the buildings on this side, they needed to be remodeled but the lack of funding postponed the construction. “This isn’t the way to the shop.”

“I know. But there are no cameras over here and I’ve been dying to sit in your lap.” Keith parked the car, turned it off, then maneuvered his thin body over to Shiro’s side. He somehow made every situation not awkward- or maybe he was just so insanely hot it didn’t even matter. “Listen to me, okay?” Keith hummed, reaching down to tip Shiro’s seat back, sitting up again to begin braiding his hair over his shoulder. His hair had gotten longer. “We aren’t going to focus on the past or the future. Only on the present. The here and the now. I don’t care where we’ve been, and I don’t care where we are going. As long as I’m right here by your side...that’s what matters to me. Got it?”

Shiro didn’t answer at first, just cupped Keith’s bum with one hand, letting his head fall back. He nodded his head, which seemed to be all that Keith had the patience for as he started to move his hips and lifted his shirt off, tossing it carelessly into the back seat.

 

The arm fit his shoulder perfectly. The dimensions were perfect, the shape was perfect. Of course, everything Keith did was perfect. Under a long-sleeve, no one could tell the difference had they never seen him before. Keith explained the mechanics and how it worked, explained how he came up with the idea. Shiro was impressed, flexing the arm, picking things up with his new fingers.

“Well? Do you like it?” Keith grinned up at Shiro, pressing their palms together, two-handed this time. Now Shiro was really impressed. He could feel the warmth of Keith’s hand, he could feel the contact of their bodies. The shock must have been clear on his face because Keith laughed softly. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about that part. I added it as my own little...flare. I thought it would be useful to us uh...later.” He smirked, making Shiro cheeks pink.

“I love it...I love you . Thank you so much, dearest…” Shiro pulled Keith in, kissing down the side of his neck, listening to the sweet and happy whine spilling past his lips. He missed it. He missed all of this. Things were starting to feel normal again. He bit his lip and glanced up over Keith’s shoulder. “So...you actually like it here? I didn’t know you enjoyed mechanics so much.” He looked over all of the tools. Keith’s personal shop was pretty small.

“Yeah, it’s pretty fun. Tons to do, really and...it keeps me busy. No time to think when you’re putting basically the entirety of Garrison equipment back together. They’ve been understaffed for a while. Some guy, who they call Beans for whatever reason, has been training me. He’s really good, but everyone else here fucks around and it’s pretty annoying. I think one day I’m gunna try and change this section around. And I definitely intend to be in charge of this prosthetics program. Since y’know. I made it.”

Shiro smirked at Keith, shaking his head. “You’re a good leader, Keith. You’d be perfect to run this program, I know it.” He sighed and messed around with the arm again, sort of doing different things with it until it was time to go again. He lifted bolts, gripped cups or boxes, and accidentally obliterated many things, startling Keith each time. Shiro would just laugh nervously and apologize. “Um...heh, oops. Guess I have to get to use to how strong this arm is now…”

 

Shiro went home with Keith, back to his apartment. His first night in a real bed, not under the watch of hidden cameras in his room. It felt so good. He felt good. He took all of his medicines, did every breathing treatment, every little self-relying therapy strategy they gave him, and after his evening shower, Shiro laid in Keith’s bed, snuggling right up to him with a huge smile. Keith expressed how much he missed Shiro loud and clear, without even speaking a word. Sinking beneath the blankets to work his magic, Shiro gripping the sheets and staring up at the ceiling in pleasure. He was sure that everything in his life was setting sail back for peace, happiness, success.

As he drifted off to sleep, there was no darkness flooding his brain, no demons. No battlefield. No horrors, no death, and no sorrows. He had peaceful sleep, was able to rest all the way through the night.

But only for a few days. After he’d gotten comfortable in these new surroundings, the nightmares came back, even with the medication. Then the night terrors, the hitting and screaming and punching. Shiro was so ashamed he could hardly breathe as he sat in the waiting room of the therapist’s office, Keith was holding his hand tight, whispering sweet things into his ear, telling him that they were only here to make this go away.

This disease would never go away, it was true. The therapist confirmed it. He’d never catch a break. They could ‘manage’ it, but truly it would never leave his side. It would follow him everywhere. Upon arriving home, Shiro went straight into their room. He began packing up his things, grabbing all of his clothes and the few possessions he had.

“What are you doing, Shiro?”

“I’m leaving. We can’t be together- I keep hurting you. I’m making this decision for both of us, okay?” Keith grabbed his arm, straightening Shiro.

“You’re not serious are you..?”

“I am, I...this is for the best. Seriously. Please, this has nothing to do with you. You’ve been so good to me, so perfect, you’ve been my rock and...I’ll always love you, but until I learn how to control this stupid mind game my body is playing, I just...this won’t work. Keith, let me go. Please..?”

Keith paused for a moment, then thought about it quietly. He inhaled, closed his eyes, then after a few seconds, he opened them. “Okay...you’re...right. You’re right. But don’t distance yourself entirely. I want to still see you, I want to still be your friend and prove to you that you can do this.” Keith pushed himself against Shiro’s chest. “I love you so much, Takashi...get yourself help when you need it. Call me every day if you can, don’t be a stranger…”

Shiro held Keith close, kissing his head and walking backward to slowly sit down on the bed. “I’ll call, I’ll get help, and I’ll come back to you again…”

 

They laid together for the rest of the night, and once more, Shiro was granted a peaceful rest. He woke early in the morning and left to the housing company that worked for the Garrison. He knew they’d help him find a place he could live, and also assist him in living safely.

He toured a few different options, settling upon one right outside of the local university. They’d convinced him that maybe picking up college courses, seeing as though his military background paid for it in full, might help keep his mind too busy for invasive thoughts. He agreed with the idea. If nothing else, he could at least get the degrees he’d always wanted.

He continued his therapy as long as he continued seeing Keith. Sometimes he’d come over for late night trysts, sometimes they’d just hang out and watch a movie, but Shiro never let him stay the night. He was too scared that bad things would happen, and he’d promised himself that would be the last time he’d ever hurt Keith.

Eventually, the visits grew further and further apart as they both became busy with school, and finally, on their last get-together, they’d agreed it was time to officially cut it off. With one last kiss and one last goodbye, they went their separate ways.

 

Shiro still thought about Keith all the time, but he knew that their brotherhood would always be so much stronger after letting him go. He worried he’d never find love again, and sure it scared him to death, but that was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

Upon getting his job at the Lion’s Den, things were really looking up. He was making a paycheck again, really working for things instead of being handed them because of some disorder. He made new friends so far, even on his first day, and despite messing up a few orders he was already enjoying it so much.

He got a little excited, he wouldn’t lie, when he saw the huge and very gorgeous dog walk in with an equally gorgeous man, but upon realizing who the pair was, he steadied himself, cheeks pink and warm. Just to be appropriate. Just another customer and he’d treat him as such. He blinked away the slight exhaustion from being on his feet all day, straightening his posture and smiling.

 

“Evening, sir! What’ll it be today?”

Notes:

LMAO PLS TELL ME YOU LIKED IT??? I worked so hard on this one, it was crazy difficult to figure out where to start, where to take it? I seriously hope you enjoyed <3
You can find chapter updates on my twitter! Please follow me there! @idontgiveadango (I also update when there will be delays, or if there'll be more fics coming out!!)

Chapter 9: Nine.

Summary:

Shiro gives Lance his background, Lance needs time to think.
Lance wants Shiro to get help, to take time and fix what needs fixing.

Notes:

This chapter is sorta all over the place and I apologize in advance. I also do not have a beta, and sometimes the POV bounces around. Much sorry for that
I added more Barista!Shiro cuz he's a cutie, but also Keith is in this one to diffuse angry bois, and also more if Shiwo being a sweetie pie! Idk, enjoy. I'm so tired.......I wrote most of this on my single break during a 14hr day at work xD

Lance and Shiro both decided to stay in the apartment over break, so Shiro figured what better time to talk about the past than when they don’t have any other duties in their day..? He started mostly from the beginning. He started with his work at the Garrison, figuring that was the point where his life was changed most.

Lance sat there on the couch, sitting completely still while listening to Shiro’s story. At some point, a hand ended up on his knee, which he took in his own hand and held tight. Shiro sounded so anxious, his voice didn’t stop shaking the entire time he talked. When Shiro finished, Lance lifted his head and inhaled slowly, rubbing over Shiro’s hand with his thumb.

“You...do you still love him?” Lance said after a moment of thought, playing with Blue’s fluffy, floppy ears and pushing his glasses up higher on his nose.

“I do, but not in the same way I love you. In a different way...in more of a brotherhood way. I care about his wellbeing, and I want him to be happy. I care about if he likes his job, and if people are treating him right. I won’t lie to you...I wanted to marry him one day, but it’s no longer there. It passed...”

Lance removed his shades, hooking them over the front of his shirt. “That’s...you have such a big heart. I understand...besides, you know, we all have those relationships we thought would last forever, right? I don’t think I really know what ‘forever’ means. So many things I thought would last forever got cut off. I think...I don’t think I want forever. I just want you to know that I’ll love you for as long as I’m supposed to. And I’ll be by your side, I’ll be here to help you when you need me. I’ll be here to even just...sit quietly or maybe just talk you through something? Shiro, I love you. I might never love you how Keith loved you, but I can love you in the only way I know how.”

“Lance, that’s not why-”

“I know. You wanted to be honest, right? I’m glad you were. It means the world to me. I’m glad you told me...I think I might just need a moment to think about this, okay? I’m not mad at you. I’m not even close to upset- it’s not that. This is a lot to think about all at one time, it’s a little confusing but...I’m more worried about your headspace than I am the relationship you had in the past. Do you still...feel the way you did then? Do you get scared at night still..?”

Shiro shuddered out a sigh, pulling Lance into a surprise hug. “Sometimes…” Lance squirmed, trying to get closer and more comfortable. “I take medicine for it still...and any time I’ve felt like I was going to break down I’ve been away from you so...I’m not really worried about hurting you as much as I was with Keith.”

Lance hummed, frowning and reaching up to touch Shiro’s face. “You know...I heard someone talk about service dogs for disabled veterans once..?”

“But I’m not...I don’t need a service dog. Wouldn’t want to take away from someone that did. Like you, you need Blue. I don’t need a-”

Lance cut him off, pushing away. “Why is it so hard for you to accept help!?” Lance sat up, then stood, crossing his arms. He furrowed his brows, frowning. “It’s one of the most irritating things about you! I want you to live as easy a life as possible, Shiro, and if that means getting a dog to help you, why wouldn’t you do it? This isn’t some health pissing-contest, Shiro. This is about you getting the help you need!” Lance threw his arms in the air, walking off toward the kitchen and grumbling.

“Lance, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you…” Shiro followed, Blue moseying up to Lance’s side. Lance pushed his hand into her fur, just glaring at whatever was ahead of him. Shiro tried to wrap his arms around Lance, but Lance pushed him off.

“Whatever, it’s fine, okay?”

“It’s not fine, you’re right. It’s hard for me to accept help. It’s hard for me to accept that there are things I can’t do- it’s like the last of my dignity is held on self-sufficiency.” He reached for Lance’s hand, but once again he pulled away and Shiro was starting to panic.

“Stop touching me!”

The shout was pure anger, so Shiro backed away quickly, keeping his hands to himself. Blue walked briskly out of the kitchen, curling up in her dog bed. Shiro gripped the counter, watching Lance. He looked confused, turning left, right, trying to just find his way out. He wanted to help, he wanted to reach out and show Lance the way but he resisted that urge.

“You! I-” He reached out and fisted the front of Shiro’s shirt just to figure out where to direct his anger. “You need to learn to respect yourself! If you’re still having those panic attacks when no one’s here, you need help! What if getting that dog could save your life, Shiro! God!!” Lance let go of his shirt, wiping at his eyes. Just then, Shiro realized he was crying, and reached out to hold Lance to his chest, wrapped his arms around him tight. “I just want what’s best for you...I don’t want you to feel like you can’t get help or it’ll make you less human...do you know how that makes me feel? I need more help than any friend I have, should I have less dignity because of that..?”

Shiro didn’t answer, he just held Lance close and screwed his eyes shut. Lance still struggled slightly against him, so after a moment, Shiro whispered, “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t realize it would upset you like that. There’s no excuse for talking poorly about any disability and I should have thought it through a little better…”

Lance finally stopped pulling away from him, so he led the younger man to the bedroom, helping him to lay down. Lance didn’t really respond much, just curled around one of their pillows. Shiro sat on the edge of the bed, staring. He watched Lance bury his face, watched his shoulders scrunch up. It made his throat burn, made his chest feel tight.

 

Shiro texted Keith that night, a few times actually, all but begging him to come over and make Lance feel better. Shiro couldn’t shake the feeling that he just wasn’t meant for a relationship like this. Was he too damaged to be able to be an effective partner?

> I don’t know what’s wrong with me, all I do is make him upset

> I highly doubt that’s true, dude. You just, y'know, you’re kinda dumb. You just say things without knowing how fucked it really is

> Well that really makes me feel better about this situation, thanks K

> didn’t realize I was supposed to be making you feel better

> Just come over

Shiro answered the door before Keith could knock, not wanting to wake Lance. He’d drifted off, and Shiro decided that was probably for the best.

“Where’s he at?”

“Bedroom, sleeping right now...I think I might have really screwed it up this time.”

“It’s your anxiety. I don’t think he’s that irrational.” Keith sighed, setting his bag down, looking around the apartment.

He’d been over a few times, he and Lance had actually become pretty good friends after the whole arm-fixing ordeal. It was really endearing to Shiro, watching his best friend and his boyfriend get along so swimmingly. If Keith approved, Lance really must be great for him. Shiro stayed in the living room while Keith went into the room, sitting on the couch instead of pacing around. Blue climbed up on the couch with him.

“Girl, you know you shouldn’t...oh to hell with it.” He fluffed up her face, smooshing it so she looked all chunky. He laughed, kissing her wet nose. “You’re so smart…” She nuzzled into his chest, snuggling with Shiro and sort of...making him feel calmer. Maybe Lance was right. Of course, he was. Shiro rolled his eyes at himself.

 

In the bedroom, Keith had climbed onto the bed, laying on his back next to Lance. “Hey...you awake?” He whispered, biting his lip. He’d feel terrible if he woke him up.

“Yup…” Lance whispered back, also rolling onto his back and wiping his face.

“Shiro called me over, said you were pretty mad-”

Lance snapped, sitting up suddenly and yelling. “Well maybe if he wasn’t such a giant stupid crap-face about everything I wouldn’t be mad! He refuses to get help! They have that whole program- the dogs for vets! Dogs that recognize when you’re anxious, or when you’re disassociating or whatever happens when he does that thing!! It’s incredible the amount of help that’s readily available to him- and he just refuses to take it!” Lance flopped back down, covering his face with his hands.

“ God, tell me about it.” Keith laughed humorlessly, crossing his arms over his chest. “I tried so hard to get him all this help, he fought me tooth and nail! It’s probably one of his worst traits. It never really goes away, but if you get pissed enough he sorta gives in and takes the help. Unfortunately, with Shiro, that’s what it takes. Getting mad...but I know you still love him. And I know for sure that he loves you enough to get that help…he’s just a stubborn asshole.” Keith idly rubbed over the scar on his own cheek, staring up at the ceiling. He sighed and let his head lull to the side to look over at Lance, startling when Lance was looking right back at him. “Holy shit, that is freaky.”

“Eh..? Hey, don’t be a jerkoff.” Lance looked up toward the ceiling, pouting.

Keith looked ashamed for a moment. “Sorry- how do you even do that?”

“Echolocation, or some shit. You talk way too much, so it’s easy to figure out where your eyes are from there.”

“Rude.”

“You serve it and can’t take it?” Lance laughed, turning the corner of the blanket over in his hands. Keith sighed, closing his eyes and just laying there with Lance for a moment.

“You know...he’s always been this way. Getting help is the hardest thing for Shiro. It scares him. I think it’s because of his dad...his dad always made it clear that if Shiro needed help, he was being a little bitch. And back when we were...closer friends-”

“Boyfriends.”

“Yeah...boyfriends. Back when we were dating, he wouldn’t even let me help clean the kitchen or start the shower. It was always ‘no, I got it’ or ‘I can do it myself’ or ‘no you don’t have to’ and I would get so mad I’d almost want to smack him. Like, duh Takashi!! I know I don’t have to, I want to!”

Lance let out a giggle, mostly because he felt the exact same way. He felt Keith laughing beside him silently. “Do you...ever miss him?”

“All the time. But I couldn’t be happier for him. You’re a good person...even if you are a loser.”

“Excuse you, I am way cooler than you!”

“Uh huh, right.” Keith snickered, rolling out of the way and off the bed before Lance could get him. He walked toward the door, back turned toward it as he looked at Lance. “He will listen to you, just be straightforward and don’t back down. Like we agreed, stubborn asshole.” He opened the door, once again startling. Shiro was right there, looking very guilty.

“Uh…”

“Really? Eavesdropper!”

Lance groaned, sitting up and standing out of the bed. “I’m not ready to forgive you yet, but I need a hug and Keith smells gross.”

“Ex cuse you!”

Lance giggled again, Shiro rushing over to pick him up, kissing his- well, whatever he could reach really. He kissed his shoulder and neck, then set him down and kissed his lips. “I’m sorry...you guys are right, I am stubborn. But I’ll listen to you because...if I don’t, I’m going to die alone and it’ll be my own fault.”

Keith ‘tch’d and rolled his eyes. “Damn right. You’re annoying when you’re all sad.”

Lance sighed, closing his eyes and laying his head against Shiro’s chest. “Don’t talk like that...I don’t want to hear it. You have so many people who love you and care about you, you’re taking my help or I’m going to beat you over the head with my cane.”

 

During the rest of the break, Shiro let Lance help him out more and more, allowed him to assist with some of the lighter housekeeping tasks. In return, Shiro asked that Lance come with him to work. Lance obviously agreed, he had no problem being near Shiro while he worked. He loved listening to the other man be so cheery...he really was good at his job.

Lance seated himself at the same table every day, throughout the break. It was the one nearest the counter. It was a bigger table, so he didn’t have to worry about Blue not having a place to lay down. Lance found himself swooning just at Shiro’s customer service voice. It was like he would turn on the charm, extra hard, for each and every customer.

“Good morning, hun, how’s your day going~?” He greeted one customer, and Lance scooted his butt around in his seat. That voice he used was just so...he could melt.

“Oh, you know, it’s been a long day! But I’m getting through it, one mocha at a time!”

Shiro laughed sweetly, and Lance felt his core grow warm. He let out a soft groan. “I feel ya there! So let’s see if I can remember your usual...peppermint mocha, blended, whip cream aaaand...rainbow sprinkles because you like to have fun?”

The girl giggled so sweetly that Lance almost felt a little jealous. “Perfect! Right on!!”

Shiro rang her up, chatting a bit as he did so. The next customer was no different. Shiro was bright and cheerful, he lit up even the grumpiest of people that came through and Lance was so impressed. He wondered if he could get a job here and be good at it…

 

One customer came through, however, and he made Lance’s blood boil.

“Wow, that’s a lot of earrings…”

“My pride and joy~ haha..they took a while to collect. Y’know, finding the time to get them, but also paying a professional.” Shiro hummed. “What can I-”

“They really let you work here with those?”

“Of course, most people like seeing a wide range of employees.”

“You ever have a job before this?”

“Actually, yes.” Lance could hear the smile in Shiro’s voice, but also the mild irritation. “I used to be in the military.”

“Didn’t know they let...your kind in.” The guy sounded like such a prick, Lance had half a mind to get up and beat this guy with his cane, dammit.

“My kind? I’m sorry, I’m not following...anyways, what can I-”

“The gay kind. The kind that like, you know, go all-” He must have made some kind of gesture, but Lance couldn’t imagine what it was.

“Hm. Well.” Lance swore he heard knuckles crack. “I know one thing for sure. We don’t allow your kind in here.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear. Did I not say it straight enough for you?” Shiro straightened himself. “Listen here, buddy-” That deep voice went straight to Lance’s hips. Oh god. “You either step out of my shop and get your heterosexual coffee elsewhere, or I drag you out myself. Which is it?” There was a moment of silence, then Lance heard someone to his right, a few tables down, bust up laughing while their friend tried to shoosh them. It made Lance giggle too and he heard the man stomp off, heard the door open, then heard a young woman snickering with Shiro about the whole ordeal while commenting ‘what an asshole’ between laughter.

 

Shiro went on with each work day without hesitation, and Lance made his way back to the counter for refills. Each time he came up, Shiro sighed lovingly. “Welcome back, my cute and most adored customer~ would you like to try something new?”

“Hm...maybe something fruity this time?” Lance took the last sip of his coffee.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I’m not on the menu.”

He spat his drink out and across the counter, coughing when it shot from his nose. “Shiro-!!” Lance laughed way too hard, wiping his face while his nose burned.

“Ah!! Lance, oh my god, gross...” Shiro whined, making Lance laugh harder. He fumbled, reaching for napkins or something. Shiro took his hand and gently kissed it, wiping up the mess. “’S fine, I got it.”

Lance blushed, he felt his face grow warm. “Thank you. Sorry, ehehe…” Lance hummed, trying to remember the menu from what Hunk had said. He usually got the same thing every time, but this time he wanted to try something new. “What are the smoothie options again..?”

“Well, there’s mixed berry, peach...oh!! That reminds me!” Shiro stepped away, and Lance waited there awkwardly for a moment.

“Shiro..?”

“Here! We got these a few days ago and I forget to tell you!” Shiro pushed a laminated paper into Lance’s hands, and Lance almost laughed. “There you go, a menu just for you, babe.”

“I...Shiro, not funny.”

“No no- just. Lance, feel it…” And he did, he ran his hands over the menu, very confused for a solid ten seconds, until his fingertips glided over tiny bumps, then his jaw dropped. He heard Shiro take in an excited breath. “Well..? Do you know what you want?”

Lance sniffed, his bottom lip quivering. “A-...hug, please…”

Shiro came around the counter, wrapping his arms around Lance. “You inspired a meeting, corporate agreed they needed to add accessible menus for everyone...we also have lower menus for people in chairs, and a new way for people to order if they’re mute or deaf and can’t order verbally…” Shiro kissed Lance’s head, and Lance nuzzled into his chest, smiling wide.

“That’s...thank you, so so much...you’re so amazing, Shiro.” He pulled away, looking up toward Shiro’s face.

“If I order here do I also get hugs from hot baristas..?”

Lance looked over toward the voice, laughing softly. “Nope~ sorry, limited availability, they’re all sold out.”

Lance ordered with this new menu more often, happily trying new things. Some he didn’t like, some he did, but that was hardly the point.

 

The point was...Shiro worked to make this cafe more accessible, and the fact that Lance needed less help to get things done because of that, it made him melt. Made him sigh and giggle, bury his face into his pillow when he was alone because he found The One. He found the one that makes him feel so good and he felt this could really work...having someone who saw past his vision, someone who did things so selflessly for him, it was an entirely new feeling. It meant the world. It was his world.

Notes:

Lol if you enjoyed that I'm........impressed. Find me (and updates) on twitter!! @idontgiveadango

Next chapter - Shiro gets the help he needs, Lance is super excited, and they bone. uwu

Chapter 10: Finale

Summary:

Shiro and Lance move forward with life.

Notes:

holy shit im so tired im SO SORRY it took me so goddamn long to finish this shit LMFAO i apologize in advance for the ending oh my god asdhfkjashf i had so much in mind but i just......a,sjdfklash

The next few months went by too quickly for Lance to feel stable. School started up again, and he was forced to pick a major- no more waiting. After some discussion with Shiro, and some texts back and forth with Keith, he went with the mechanic's program and began new classes that would get him that degree. The classes were surprisingly easy-going, so long as he ignored the minimal judgment from classmates. He ignored comments and jokes about his sight and the major he’d picked because Keith was right. He could observe and work without his eyes, which he effortlessly proved day after day, exciting his professors who were weary at first. 

He’d moved out of the dorms, and Hunk moved into an apartment with Pidge only a block away from Shiro and him, and Lance had moved all of his things into Shiro’s apartment. He couldn’t have been happier. Things felt right, this all felt good. Nothing really felt like it was going to slip away from him this time.

Blue ended up with a little brother. A young, near fully trained malinois donated to Shiro by Pups for Vets; a program initially started by the university students after suicide rates from PTSD sufferers went up. Lance found it impossible to express any further excitement when Shiro came home with the dog. It took lengthy meetings, paperwork, but finally, Shiro received the best possible prospect for his condition. And despite Shiro being hesitant at first, he finally gave in and accepted that he wanted this too.

Lance heard the door open, heard Shiro cross the threshold, and heard the tiniest bit of jingle where a leash clip met a collar. He gasped, all but flopping to the floor with his arms extended. “What’s his name!?” The dog ran to him excitedly and kissed all over his face. The dog easily matched Lance’s excitement.

“Kipper…” Shiro smiled fondly, kneeling down as well and petting down the dog’s back. He told him to sit, Kipper did so immediately, even scooting back away from Lance. “We have a few weeks of classes so I can learn how to give commands and learn how to control him...also so he can learn what triggers me, and what my panic attacks and breakdowns look like. I guess they’ll teach me how to fake them, too, for training. Keith is coming with me since he knows better than anyone what they really look like.” Shiro leaned in to kiss Lance’s head. “I should’ve listened to you sooner. You were right. This will work...seeing the other vets there, the other people who are going through something similar...it made it easier. I talked to someone there, Curtis I think his name was...he said that for years he’s been suffering, like me, and getting his dog made such a big impact on his anxiety or paranoia, and his dog will wake him before the night terrors even start, I…” He trailed off, and Lance looked up toward him. “I think I really should have done this sooner.”

“I’m glad you went. I’m glad you’re getting help. I’m glad you’re allowing help.” Lance laughed suddenly, letting out hours of pent up anxiety. “I was so worried that you’d come home with nothing. That you would change your mind and just leave.”

“No, I want this. I’m ready to get better, to stop pushing it all under the rug.”

Lance hummed, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Shiro’s. “Good. Because the rug is full.” He smiled, laying his head against Shiro’s chest and reaching out to pat the puppy who stole a sneaky sniff. “I’m so proud of you...I have the best boyfriend.”

‘Wait, you have a boyfriend!?” Shiro sat back, gasping dramatically. “Lance, I told you I loved you!! You should’ve told me you had a boyfriend!” Lance giggled, toppling over and rolling his eyes. “This is no laughing matter- I banish you to the shadow realm!” Shiro stood, lifting Lance with him. Lance squeaked when he was thrown over Shiro’s shoulder.

“Wah!! Put me down- Shiro!” Shiro lifted one hand, bringing it down for a sharp smack on Lance’s ass. “Ow!”

“Oh please, that didn’t hurt. But it will once your pants are off.”

“What?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t ‘hm’ you heard me!”

“What?” Shiro launched Lance onto the bed, and he squealed, flailing a bit. Shiro pushed Lance’s shirt up and blew a raspberry into his stomach.

“SHIRO-” Lance flailed and let out a burst of laughter.

“Still can’t hear you, I think I might be losing my hearing…” 

“You are such an idiot!” He kissed down Lance’s belly, nibbling just above his waistband. 

When Lance lifted his hips and whined, Shiro smirked as he pulled away. “Mm~ you sure do switch sides quickly…” Lance was about to protest, but both dogs came tearing through the hallway, jumping on the bed and jumping on the pair.

“No! Blue down!! No, Kipper-!” Shiro and Lance were both laughing messes, and even with the mood ruined, they still held each other as protection from the crazy zoomie dogs.

 

After years of hard work and a little bit of failure- Lance finally graduated. Shiro had graduated a year before him and was his support system throughout the rest of his time at the university. Hunk and Pidge stood by him through hours and hours of frustrating studies, but at the end of the day, Shiro was there to hold him while he cried frustrated tears  The day went by, again too fast for him to really follow, and the only things he could remember were jumping into Shiro’s arms and the surplus of hugs from his family members. 

And Keith’s soft ‘I knew you could do it’ when they’d hugged. It brought tears to his eyes, and Keith had punched him in the arm and told him to stop being a baby, but Lance heard the choked up tone of his voice.

Shiro and Lance moved into a new apartment- one close by the Garrison. Shiro picked up a new job at a bakery, delivering his goods to the Garrison cafeteria- and Keith’s office more often than not. Lance moved to work as an apprentice for Keith, training under him to create artificial limbs and organs.

 

On a particularly flustering day, Keith turned to Lance, huffing and reaching over to touch his wrist and stop him in his work. “Hey. You should come over for dinner tonight- I want to talk to you.”

Lance paused, his heart sinking. Was he doing a bad job? What if Keith was going to fire him? “Okay. Do you want me to bring Shiro?”

“No. Leave him home, just you. It’ll be easier to say without him there. The dog is fine, I’ll put the cat up.” They’d had a few cat-dog scuffles between Blue and Keith’s cat, Kosmo. Mostly because Blue wanted to play, and Kosmo absolutely did not. 

Lance felt even more nervous. What could Keith possibly have to say that Shiro shouldn’t hear? Either way, he agreed to come over for dinner. He was hardly able to complete his day’s work, too distracted with every possibility of what Keith had to say.

 

Keith offered to take him to pick up Blue, but Lance assured him that as long as Keith would guide him around, he wouldn’t really need her. He hadn’t spent much time in Keith’s apartment, so he hoped that he was right. He called Shiro to let him know what was going on, making sure to tell him he loved him. Just in case he died or something.

The drive home was quiet and awkward. Keith never listened to the radio or anything. He wondered if Keith looked mad? Or sad? Was he just watching the road? Or was he looking at Lance right now? Lance’s hands were shaking. He couldn’t breathe. 

When the car stopped, Keith got out first, coming around the other side to get Lance. He hooked their elbows together, making sure to keep him close so he wouldn’t trip. 

“The elevator is down right now...the stairs are really steep, be careful okay..?” Keith was always so gentle when guiding him, which was surprising in comparison to the way he trained. He was always so grumpy and yelling, or demanding, really pushing Lance to do what Keith knew he could do. 

Keith led him to each step, catching him easily when Lance nearly tripped. Once they got to the top, Lance sighed and groaned. It was hard to not be embarrassed. He hadn’t even brought his cane with him. He didn’t really bring any guidance with him when he was going to work. He was constantly by someone, and by now everyone had gotten used to Lance’s needs.

Keith opened his door, letting Lance in and picking up Kosmo so he wouldn’t be walking under Lance’s feet and tripping him up. “Couch is dead ahead still, but I moved the coffee table so just walk slowly. I’m going to make tea. Want some..?”

“No, that’s okay.”

“You say that, and then you’re going to steal mine.” Keith laughed quietly and walked toward the kitchen, leaving Lance to navigate the living room. 

He hit his shins a few times on the coffee table, the arm of the couch, and something he wasn’t exactly sure about...but eventually, he made it all the way, sitting with a huff, frustrated without his dog. Kosmo climbed up into his lap, so he petted over his pointy ears.

“What did you want to talk about..? You’re making me nervous.”

“Don’t be. It’s not really...anything bad I guess.”

“Are you letting me go?”

“What? Oh- no way Lance- that’s what you thought this was about?” Lance sort of hung his head, and Keith made his way back over. “No. You’re doing an amazing job. It’s not that. Not even close, um…” For once, it was like Keith didn’t know what to say. That almost made this whole thing worse. Clearly, it was a big deal to him or it wouldn’t have been an issue. “Listen just...I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. Just- don’t talk ‘til I’m done okay?” 

He took a deep breath, patting his knees a few times. “Okay...so, you know about me dating Shiro, you know about our past and the history we have and I just...I can’t lie and act like I don’t love him anymore. I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m not just a little bit jealous. But if I don’t talk to you about this, it’s going to eat me up. I love him so much...but seeing how happy he is with you is just- it’s everything I’ve wanted. I prayed to every possible higher power that Shiro would find peace and happiness. I prayed that he would find someone who could really help him become better, someone that would really make him get help. So...I think you popping into his life wasn’t just coincidence. I think it was meant to be. He’s changed with you.” Keith took a deep breath. “As much fun as we had growing up together, training together, working together, I don’t think we were really meant to be. I can accept that...he deserves so much more than what I could’ve given him.”

“Don’t say that-”

“Let me finish!” Keith shouted, startling Lance. Keith quietly apologized, then continued. “I know that’s the truth, okay? You have different life experiences than me- I never lost anything as big as he did. He lost his arm and his sanity, you lost your sight and...and your dad. I don’t have those things- so I don’t think I ever could have been there for him in the way you can. You understand it on an entirely different level, Lance. You’re the one who can help him get better. You already are- I mean...the proof is in the pudding, lance.” Keith paused again, Lance could hear him breathing heavily. “If you love something...you let it go. So I’m letting him go. I’m letting go of the memories and feelings, and I’m passing them onto you. I want you to make new memories so that he can just forget about the ones we had.”

When Keith paused, and Lance heard him sort of struggling to level his breathing, he reached out and laid his hand gently on Keith’s hand. “Can I talk now..?” Keith gave him a small ‘yeah’ so Lance took a deep breath. “I don’t...want Shiro to forget about the times he had with you. Just like I told him, everything that happened in the past, shaped him into what he is today. So I wouldn’t erase any of that. He wouldn’t be as loving and caring if...if he hadn’t met you, loved and cared for you, enjoyed his time spent with...you, Keith. The person he is now, the person getting and accepting help, that person is because of you.” Lance moved his hand from Keith’s, not wanting to make it awkward. “I’m so glad I met you, by the way. Everything fell into place exactly how it was meant to. And you were part of that.”

Keith took a moment of silence to think about the things Lance had said. Lance just waited, focusing on petting the warm lump of fluff in his lap. “Lance...thank you. That means a lot I...guess I didn’t really think of it that way.” He lifted his head again, smiling at Keith. “Sorry if I freaked you out inviting you over. I also thought that this would take longer for some reason so...if you want to invite Shiro over that’s fine. Might as well feed the man.” 

Lance laughed, pulling out his phone and using the voice command to call Shiro before putting it to his ear. He called Shiro over, telling him to bring Kipper and Blue over so that Keith could meet the new addition.

“I can’t believe you were able to convince him to get a dog..” Keith laughed, sitting back on the couch. “Big softy...y'know for the longest time he talked about how much he hated dogs. I knew he was lying. I think he just said it because I like cats so much. He’s a dork like that.” Lance laughed quietly.

“When he first ordered coffee in front of me, he got what I get daily. And pretended to like it. You could hear in his voice he thought it was disgusting..” The two boys laughed together, going back and forth with little Shiro stories. 

When Shiro showed up, the stories only got more hilarious with Shiro trying to defend himself against Keith’s tattling words. They laughed, the three of them, a cat and two dogs, into the late hours of the night until their giggles died off slowly behind sips of tea, bites of cookies. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward, it was peaceful. What Lance couldn’t see, Keith and Shiro locking eyes, Keith giving Shiro a look of approval. Like he’d done well this time. This was everything he was meant to have.

Keith ushered them out so he could get to bed, giving both boys (and both dogs) a hug before sending them off.

“So what did you guys talk about..?” Shiro curiously asked on the drive home.
“I think...he gave me his blessing or something.” Lance petted Kipper’s small head in his lap. “Guess we have to get married now.” He laughed when he heard Shiro choke on his spit, Shiro shouting at Lance about ‘springing such things’ at him like that.

 

Months down the road, Shiro proposed an idea, a larger home further from the college. A yard for the dogs, a garden for Shiro and Lance to care for, plenty of stores and things nearby. Lance was, of course, scared at first. Learning to navigate new places? It terrified him. He didn’t exactly want to go through bruised hips and busted fingers all over again, for months on end. But after touring the home, hearing how happy Shiro was- they jumped. Hand in hand, they went for it.

Lance learned the new home, and especially after hearing how much the dogs enjoyed the yard, he couldn’t feel bad about his decision.

The first night sleeping in the new home, boxes everywhere on the floor, Shiro was guiding Lance into bed, alerting him of everything he could possibly step on. They laid together in bed, and as Lance drifted off to sleep, he realized that things really were how they were meant to be. Everything had fallen together perfectly, and he had a peaceful place in life. “I love you…”
Shiro mumbled a sleepy ‘I love you’ back.
Lance closed his eyes, smiling, holding Shiro’s hand when the other man was asleep. “I will forever trust you..to Guide Me…”