Chapter 1: Instinct to Protect
Chapter Text
“Hongjoong.”
He looked up from his desk in his hut, finding San staring at him, clinging to the tent flap, expression hard but eyes shimmering. “They’re here.” His voice sounded as if he was announcing a funeral.
Hongjoong smiled gently, standing and walking to San, placing a calming hand on his head. “Everything will be fine.”
It was a promise.
San bit his lip, swallowing hard, but nodded, walking away.
Hongjoong exited his tent, coming out into the center of the circle of huts with a large fire in the middle. The majority of his relatively small pack was gathered there, watching him with sober expressions.
Hongjoong’s smile was mostly genuine. Encouraging. Not at all nervous or afraid. Not a single stench of fear would be smelled on him.
“Let’s go,” he said, voice level and smooth.
His pack nodded, some of them grouping together, clinging despite his reassurances.
The day was lovely. The sun was shining and the clouds provided a wonderful shade for the pups to play in without exhausting themselves.
Such a shame that such nasty business must be handled on it.
Well. If all went according to the agreement, nothing would need to become nasty.
They walked out of the small camp, towards the hills. The woods on the opposite side of them were a good barrier against enemies, but their Western side was only rolling hills and open spaces with sparse trees. At the bottom of the nearest hill stood of crowd of about twenty, their foreign scents making everyone on edge.
With each step as they approached, Hongjoong felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise, instinct making him tense. These were strangers. In their territory. Their posture was confident. Challenging. As if they had a right to be here.
They marched on.
Hongjoong didn’t need to be told which was pack leader. Everyone stood behind one man, his expression stony but not aggressive. Good. Aggression would have been a very poor choice of emotion to bring here.
His pack paused, a distance of only a few paces separating them from each other.
“Greetings, Seonghwa” he said boldly. “We welcome you to our pack.”
The man that stood in the front was the peak imagine of alpha Leader. His features were strong, like built into stone, his shoulder broad and his frame tall. Well, taller than Hongjoong (though most were), but not taller than some members of his own pack. He looked strong though. A worthy opponent from the moment you laid eyes on him. His eyes were a sharp brown, threatening, even without anything like anger to fuel them.
Hongjoong felt satisfied. His reputation preceded him. Hopefully, the rest of the stories accompanying his pack were true as well.
“I trust your journey was not too tiring?” he questioned cordially.
Seonghwa nodded absently, not even glancing at Hongjoong, scanning the crowd behind him, neutral expression falling into a frown. “Where is your pack leader? Did he deem it beneath himself to come greet me?”
Hongjoong felt his lips quirk, almost a little too pleased. “I am pack leader.”
The silence that rang across the clearing was loud enough to burn. Someone snorted within Hongjoong’s own pack.
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, his patience waning. Well, that was amusing to watch so quickly. “Very funny, Omega, but I can smell you. Where is your head alpha?”
Hongjoong didn’t waver, holding his gaze with steely eyes, the first time Seonghwa had looked directly in his eyes. “We have no head alpha. We have a head omega. Me.”
And maybe Hongjoong was a little too pleased to say it. But the faces of his pack were priceless .
“Just don’t gloat, hyung,” Yeosang had warned him. “You need them to like us, remember?”
Hongjoong was well aware. Even if he did feel righteously smug.
Seonghwa’s pack began to shift, whispering to each other, some of them glaring at him in anger and others staring in wonder, as if he were some specimen.
“Enough games,” Seonghwa demanded, casting a hand in front of himself, some of his hair rising on end, preparing for something. “I don’t know what you intended to gain from this charade, but I came here to unite two packs-”
“Which we will do,” Hongjoong agreed readily, shoulders straight and strong. “We agreed on a mating between the two heads of our packs, did we not? We shall do just that.”
Seonghwa’s glared, as if trying to see through Hongjoong. As if trying to see if his nose was lying to him, or if his eyes deceived him. Neither had done so, he would find.
“You can’t be a leader!” someone behind Seonghwa yelled. “You’re an omega . A head wolf is meant to protect their pack!” He shouldered one pack member aside, glaring at Hongjoong with eyes red with fury. “How dare you-” he looked passed him, at his pack, “How dare any of you allow yourselves to be beneath this whore !”
Hongjoong felt the shifts behind himself, putting an arm out automatically to stop Jongho who had tried to run forward, eyes glowing red. “Calm yourself, Jongho,” he said without breaking his eyes away from the wolf who had spoken. “We talked about this.”
The younger glared at him, clearly begging to be allowed to attack, but Yunho grabbed his arm and pulled him back gently- hard, apprehensive eyes aimed at the pack in front of them. Jongho would strike without thinking, but Yunho would hold him back until an opening allowed itself. Or, in this case, until Hongjoong gave word to attack.
Which he had no intention of doing.
Hongjoong turned back to the wolf who had spoken out before. “You would be wise to watch your tongue in our territory. You do not have the advantage here. Nor do you have a complete understanding of the pack you threaten. It would be a truly idiotic move on your part to attempt any sort of violence.”
“You dare to speak to an alpha like that?” the man snapped, fingernails sharpening into claws. “I’ll-”
“I’d like to see you try.”
Seonghwa’s pack turned to the new voice as Wooyoung stepped up beside him, arms crossed and expression amused, his lips quirked up in a smirk.
“The head wolf protects the pack. They’re the strongest wolf the pack has to offer. And him?” Wooyoung jerked his head towards Hongjoong, looking more amused than Hongjoong could ever dream to. “If you can beat him- be my guest and be our head wolf.” He actually laughed. “Good luck, though.”
The man looked between Wooyoung and Hongjoong, seething. Hongjoong’s nose twitched as he smelled his anger turn to rage. He tensed imperceptibly.
Hongjoong had just enough time to summon his claws before the man launched himself at him.
“ Jay !” Seonghwa snapped, but the wolf paid no mind, tackling Hongjoong and sending them both sprawling. But the other alpha had made one mistake: he gave Hongjoong enough time to smell an attack, which gave his time to get his defenses up.
Jay hit him around his waist, expecting him to double over and lose his balance. To stumble.
He wasn’t expecting to slam into a body made of muscle that simply slid back a few feet before Hongjoong slashed claws across his back, spreading red blood across his grey shirt.
Jay yelped as Hongjoong snarled, and Hongjoong grabbed him by his back and hair, twisting as he pulled him around, slamming him into the ground, listening to the satisfying cry the other released.
Good .
His boot was placed on his neck as Jay clawed at it, struggling to breathe. Hongjoong turned to Seonghwa and his pack, not even bothering to care about the wolf struggling under his boot. “Anyone else?” he asked tersely, pressing down harder until Jay stopped clawing at his shoe, laying still and trying not to panic. His blood thrummed, asking to be allowed to let loose.
Seonghwa was staring at him with an unreadable expression, like it was carved in marble. “I did not order that attack,” he said gravely after a substantial pause. “I apologize for the behavior of my pack. It will be addressed, I swear to you.”
He wasn’t that sorry. Hongjoong knew he could have stopped Jay before he got to him. He wanted to see the outcome as much as anyone else. Hongjoong’s expression didn’t change as he finally removed his boot from Jay who gasped and turned over, coughing into the grass.
Seonghwa watched him passively, and Hongjoong would have given a quarter of their territory just to know what he was thinking as his eyes trailed Hongjoong, as if assessing a threat.
“I think these talks would be better held in my tent,” Hongjoong said, voice carrying in the silence. “Your pack is welcome to a lunch we’ve prepared. My pack will make you feel welcome.”
Unlike yours, you prick, went unsaid.
Seonghwa, however, inclined his head, jerking a hand to his pack to signal them to go with them. “Not a single fight, understand?” he snapped, making them all nod, the twenty or so wolves stepping over towards Hongjoong’s with wary eyes, as if expecting an attack.
Hongjoong watched Yeosang lead the two packs back to the camp area, turning when he heard a subtle growl behind him. He turned, seeing Jongho glaring up at him, specifically at his arm that was slightly red from where Jay had attacked.
Hongjoong smirked, ruffling Jongho’s hair. It shocked him enough that his alpha eyes stopped glowing red. “He punches weaker than Junyoung,” he assured him. “Go eat. And no fights, got it?”
Jongho’s eyes flickered to Seonghwa like he was sure he would attack his leader. Hongjoong smacked Jongho’s arm to get him to go, and he obeyed reluctantly, leaving the two leaders alone, but not before glaring at Seonghwa and baring his teeth in a clear challenge.
That was probably six levels of rude, a mere pup challenging a head alpha, but Hongjoong didn’t quite bring himself to care. It was also rude for a brutish alpha with a complex to attach a pack leader. Fair was fair.
He turned to Seonghwa who still had an expression he couldn’t put a name to.
“Come,” he beckoned casually, walking without waiting for him.
Not a word was said between them until they reached Hongjoong’s tent. It wasn’t like Hongjoong took real amusement from the other’s silent anger, but it was always truly amusing to witness the alphas who came through here glare and snap.
Because how dare an omega pose as a head wolf? How dare they make themselves appear equal to a big, strong alpha? It still made Hongjoong want to snort, even though he contained himself, because as Yeosang liked to reassure him, they did need Seonghwa to like him and agree to this contract.
Hongjoong could smell the distrust and anger from the alpha, spicy and thick, as he opened the flap and stepped inside after allowing in Seonghwa. The larger space seemed smaller with another power occupying it.
And despite his amusements at Seonghwa’s expense, he was another power.
“So,” Hongjoong began lightly, going to sit at his desk and gesturing across from himself at the chair on the other side. “What part of this arrangement is most problematic to you? The fact that I am an omega?” He asked, eyebrow raised delicately. “Or am I simply so repulsive to look at, you find the omega aspect a useful excuse?” He looked at Seonghwa, eyes glinting with mirth, but he stared on, unimpressed.
Seonghw’s eyes were hard, even as it seemed like he physically tried to make his posture less aggressive. Perhaps to amend for his pack’s behavior. Perhaps for another reason altogether. Either way, he failed miserably.
“I find the whole thing fantastical,” he stated, voice low enough to fill the space between them. “An omega as head wolf? That has never happened.” His voice was dark, still challenging the claim.
“No, it has not,” Hongjoong agreed, playing with the paperweight sitting on the desk, spinning it in circles as he watched Seonghwa’s every movement. “But do you not agree that whoever is strongest is in charge of protecting a pack? Has that not always been our way?”
Alpha’s held that title of strongest. In times of distress or war, it was possible for a beta to assume that position until another alpha was found, but an omega?
It was truly laughable.
“Who allowed you to become head wolf?” Seonghwa demanded, arms crossing once more, unable to keep their station at his sides. “No alpha would have handed over a title to you. Their pride would never let them.”
Hongjoong inclined his head, acquiescing easily. Hongjoong knew most of the surrounding packs knew very little of his little pack that kept to themselves, but he hadn’t realized just how much these people knew nothing of them.
But Seonghwa had yet to say a single thing that Hongjoong did not agree with.
“You are correct,” Hongjoong assured him, spinning the weight once more. “But I was not brought into this pack. I created this pack. It has been mine and mine alone since I found my first wolf.”
He gestured around his tent, and Seonghwa’s brows crept down further with each word.
Hongjoong picked the paperweight up, passing it between his hands to keep them busy. “I accepted an alpha into our pack, once,” he said, voice stiffening with the memory. “An outcast from another pack further upstream. He thought an omega in power was a crime against nature.”
Seonghwa didn’t move, but Hongjoong could see it in his eyes that glinted darkly in the firelight. He thought the same.
That was well enough. Hongjoong honestly could not care less what Seonghwa believed his position to be. It changed nothing.
“I told him if he could prove to be stronger than me, I would gladly give up my title to him.” Hongjoong’s eyes turned a steely silver as he stood slowly, bracing his hands on his desk. “Understand this, Seonghwa: my only goal in life is to protect my pack. I won’t hand over their safety to someone who can’t do a better job than I am now. That outcast lost the fight.”
Seonghwa’s brow pinched, clearly wondering whether or not Hongjoong was being truthful.
Hongjoong’s fingers curled into fists, not angry but firm. “I would be a fool to hand my position to him, simply for a title he was born to . He was useless .” He straightened. “ A few of my alphas have tried to become head wolf, but none of them can best me in a fight. So, until I find someone worthy of looking after my pack, I, an omega, will remain in power.” His eyes narrowed. “Do you understand this, Seonghwa?” This, of everything, was the one thing Hongjoong needed him to understand if this was going to work.
Seonghwa remained statuesque.
“It’s physically impossible for an omega to be more powerful than an alpha,” Seonghwa said, voice as if he were reading from a textbook.
Hongjoong sighed in disappointed frustration, hoping that maybe his explanation would be enough, but that was a fool’s wish. He crossed his arms, mirroring Seonghwa’s cut-off posture, though Hongjoong still had to raise his eyes to meet Seonghwa’s gaze.
“Did you not just see an omega slam your alpha into the dirt?” Hongjoong questioned petulantly. “Hold him there as he whimpered under my boot for mercy?” His lips curled in disgust as Seonghwa didn’t move.
He scoffed, some of the anger bleeding away as he reigned it in. This was not the first conversation he had about this, but Seonghwa’s lack of response was proving an irritant.
“With the way they’re raised, yes,” Hongjoong agreed with a walking along the length of the desk, dragging his hand along the wood. “From the time an omega is born, they are taught to be weak, yes. Required to be smaller, timid, submissive…” He gestured to himself for a moment, eyebrow popping up. “But look what happens when an omega is left to their own devices, without self-righteous alphas and betas telling them what they can and can’t do.” He cocked his head. “Impressive, isn’t it?”
Seonghwa glared at him, perhaps wondering if it was a specific jab at him. But Seonghwa was currently an alpha he had the least problems with. Hongjoong leaned forward, putting away the back story and stowing his irritation.
“But we didn’t come here to discuss the politics of our wolves,” he said, voice back to level and firm. “We came to sign an agreement. Unless, you are reconsidering your stance?” His eyes searched Seonghwa’s, wishing the man would let something slip through. His lips pressed together tightly. “I see now that you were expecting to bond with an alpha, or at the very least a beta.”
“I was told I would bond to a head wolf, of course, I assumed it would be an alpha” Seonghwa said sharply, glancing Hongjoong over once more, as if still trying to find a way to call him a liar for his claims. “I see now that it was perhaps foolish to make assumptions.”
Hongjoong hummed. “I can assure you, however, that the omission was not done to deceive,” he assured Seonghwa firmly. “I truly did not think the wolf of the pack leader was necessary to name. I see now that it was perhaps a bit ignorant on my own part. I apologize.”
Because Hongjoong had to remember: their pack was not like the others. In more than their choice of pack leader- they operated differently, they blended differently, they were different.
Hongjoong had been in the wrong to simply expect Seonghwa to view it the same way. Or even hope for him to do so.
To his surprise, though, Seonghwa let out a quiet sigh, his shoulders falling slightly, his posture not quite so stiff, but still closed off as he glared.
“Well…” Seonghwa folded his hands, clearly mulling everything over in his mind. “I truly was not expecting… you when I agreed to the bonding. And I admit it’s off putting… I am not sure if my pack would support me choosing to-”
“ Remember ,” Hongjoong broke in with a hard voice, eyes sharpening. “You have as much to gain from this as us. You need the resources on our land.”
Seonghwa glanced him over, his stony expression finally breaking as a smirk crossed his lips, almost… smug. Hongjoong’s blood boiled. “Yes, but we can find certain resources elsewhere. Not as conveniently, I agree, but we can get them. However, as I understand it, you are out of options when it comes to allies in this war.”
“ Potential war,” Hongjoong snapped, fists curling, stomach boiling and hair raising. “ One sided war. We’ve done nothing against Exo,” he spat, eyes flashing deadly silver. “They bring conflict purely for destruction’s sake! They have no need for anything on our land. They hunt us for sport because-” He broke off, closing his mouth for a moment before speaking darkly. “Because they have bloodlust. Nothing more”
“I understand that,” Seonghwa said calmly, his expression no longer so amused. He looked like he took no pity on them, though. “But you cannot think that this does not change some things. You are an omega , Hongjoong. That is not overlookable. If you would reconsider your stance on it being yourself who is bonded-”
“You are not taking anyone else in my pack,” Hongjoong said sharply, voice low in his chest. “ No one in my pack is interested in bonding. Your options were and remain only me. This was not an issue for you before,” he growled, muscles tensing as Seonghwa continued to appear above it all.
“That was before it was revealed the head wolf was an omega.”
Hongjoong’s eyes bled silver again. “ I see ,” he snarled. “This has become a matter of pride now.”
Seonghwa opened his mouth, eyes flashing crimson, but Hongjoong cut him off with a sharp swipe of his hand.
“You posed to your pack that you would be bonding to a nice, strong head alpha ,” he snapped. “But what you got was a nice, strong head omega . Explain, please , because I fail to see where you’ve lost anything . Does it matter what my wolf is when I am clearly stronger than even your own alphas? What more proof would you need that wolves are inconsequential ?”
Perhaps he sounded a bit more desperate than he intended, but Seonghwa’s stance was rapidly shifting away from him, and Hongjoong could not let him actually slip away, for something as little as his wolf .
This could not fall through.
Hongjoong could not afford to let Seonghwa walk away.
His outburst, however, it seemed, made Seonghwa pause. He pressed his lips together, breathing deeply as he ran a stiff hand through his hair. “You will be demanded to prove yourself,” Seonghwa warned him, dark eyes meeting angry ones. “I don’t know what kind of mentality you have here in this pack, but it is not what it is outside. My pack will want proof that you’re actually a reliable pack leader. And they may expect you to act like an omega.”
Hongjoong felt his insides begin to boil, but struggled to stamp it down. He expected him to return to that weakling he had been before? What was wrong with this world? Why did he need to prove herself at every fucking turn? Why was he continually forced to cut himself lower and lower, just-
For them.
For his pack. For the people he had taken in and promised to protect. If protecting them from this war meant… meant returning to how he had been…
Hongjoong wanted to break something at the very fucking thought .
If it meant putting on a show and… submitting again… then he would do it…
For them. And only for them.
“Whatever it takes,” he said, voice barely being held together, hoarse and rough as something dark began to swirl.
This was not in their deal. But apparently, things changed more than Hongjoong planned. Seonghwa’s pack would not budge. Which left only Hongjoong to twist himself in circles to try and save those most precious to him.
“As long as our original contract still stands,” he said stiffly, a warning in his voice.
To his credit, Seonghwa scanned Hongjoong’s face, as if seeing the change in expression. He frowned slightly, but nodded slowly. “The exchange would be enacted,” Seonghwa assured him. “Part of my pack would come here as emergency protection. Your selected pack members would come with us to ensure your treatment and connect the packs.”
Hongjoong nodded, lowering his eyes to stare at his hands. Anyone from his pack would see his agreed behavior and label it as horrid treatment. He’d have to address them beforehand.
“Very well, then,” he muttered. “Are we at an agreement, then?” His voice was bitter, Seonghwa tilting his head, as if trying to identify a sound.
Seonghwa slowly inclined his head, eyes almost curious behind their stony exterior. “As unconventional as it is… we are at an agreement.”
Hongjoong almost sighed with relief, but remained silent and passive, holding out a hand. “Then we have documents to sign, don’t we?”
Seonghwa looked at his hand for a moment before standing and taking it in his own. He saw the twitch in Seonghwa’s expression when he felt the rough, prominent calluses on Hongjoong’s hands.
He would find out that there was so much more about him that didn’t match up to the ordinary omega. And if Hongjoong squeezed his hand just a little harder than necessary, well, that was purely inconsequential.
~~~~~~~
“Kim Hongjoong from the Southern Pack,” Seonghwa announced to the small gathering.
Hongjoong stood there, his head high and his hands behind his back as he gazed out at the crowd of council members and pack members glaring back at him with disdain.
The stench of omega was clear to them, their noses curled in distaste as they didn’t even bother to whisper among themselves.
Hongjoong simply stared on.
“Before anyone tries to fight this decision,” Seonghwa went on over the grumbling that was beginning to grow, voice firm, “know that I would never settle for a union with someone who was not useful to our pack. Despite being an omega, he has proven to be strong enough to hold his own, even against our own alphas.”
“ Liar ,” Hongjoong heard one woman in the crowd hiss to her friend, sneering at him in disgust.
Seonghwa either didn’t hear or didn’t care. “We all know the strength of the Southern Pack. Despite their size, we knew they had withstood many assaults from larger, stronger groups. With that in mind, knowing that Hongjoong was the one leading against those assaults, we can conclude that he is a valuable ally to have, regardless of his wolf.”
And that was… almost a kind thing to say. Hongjoong glanced at Seonghwa from the corner of his eyes, wondering, if he knew all that, why they would demand Hongjoong take on the guise of the helpless omega. Were they truly so attached to their silly pride?
“Pack leader,” a woman in the front spoke up, not even bothering to look at Hongjoong. “We ask you to reconsider. This is… this is an embarrassment ,” she hissed angrily. “An omega standing as an equal with you… you can’t possibly imagine what that will do to your image. Other packs will deem us weak . Your own pack will turn on you-”
“I am willing to prove whatever strength you desire,” Hongjoong broke in, stepping forward. The woman looked at him, her nose curling as if his scent was going to make her ill. “Be it my ranking among my pack or my ability to provide aid in a fight.”
Her face turned red.
“However, I find myself needing to add that this must be a very broken pack indeed, if something as inconsequential as my wolf could cause a civil war.”
“You bitch- ”
“Sunny!” Seonghwa barked, making the woman back down, glancing at him with dropped shoulders. His eyes were steely. “Hongjoong and I have spoken about this. We signed the documents with his pack as a witness. Hongjoong wants only to transition here peacefully and protect his pack. No more than what we all want for our own pack.” His eyes narrowed and his voice hardened. “Anyone who disputes that can speak directly to me.”
No one in the crowd spoke. Hongjoong couldn’t call it defending him exactly (not that he needed it), but he… was grateful. Seonghwa may be an alpha in the head, but he seemed to not be so much of a brute that he couldn’t see reason.
Even if he was blinded by tradition.
Seonghwa relaxed even if his expression didn’t. “If no one has more to say, I suggest everyone return to their duties.”
The crowd didn’t look happy but even they knew not to push their head wolf. Hongjoong glanced at him from the corner of his eye curiously. Seonghwa didn’t look his way for even a moment. A lot of people around here had been doing a lot of ignoring him… that wasn’t going to fucking last long.
“You shouldn’t speak to them so casually,” Seonghwa said lowly, eyes dark. “They hold more power than you’d think. Anger the wrong council members, and you’ll find your time here much less enjoyable than it could here.”
Hongjoong cocked an unafraid eyebrow. “Is that a threat, Seonghwa?” he questioned. “Am I not your mate now? Your pack would attack one of their head wolves?”
Hongjoong could practically see each inch of restraint it took for Seonghwa to not snap back at him. He simply glared, turning away.
“Come,” Seonghwa said, voice unamused. “I’m taking you to where you’ll be staying.”
Hongjoong pressed his lips together at the order. “Wolves aside, I think the proper request would have a ‘please’ or something in there.”
Seonghwa turned back, and for the first time in… perhaps since the bonding, Seonghwa looked him in the eyes. Hongjoong stared back, fearless and impassive, waiting for Seonghwa to make his choice.
Seonghwa didn’t roar with anger at being spoken to as such. He didn’t snap, his eyes didn’t become crimson, his body didn’t tense with rage waiting to unleashed on this foolish omega who dared open his mouth.
He simply pressed his lips together tightly, as if stopping himself from saying something. Several moments longer than it should have taken passed before Seonghwa let go of a slow breath.
“If you’ll follow me… I will show you your new home.”
His voice was terse, short, and probably a bit pride-wounded. But it was a request. Not a command. Even if there still was no ‘please’.
Hongjoong nodded gently, not smiling to gloat. He only wanted the respect he was due as Seonghwa’s equal. Nothing more. “I’d be happy to,” he assured him, stepping after him.
“Hongjoong.”
He had almost forgotten the others standing behind him silently, watching the spectacle. He glanced over, finding Yeosang staring at him with cold eyes. “We’ll always be behind you,” he promised. “Don’t worry about anything other than your immediate duties.”
Hongjoong smiled in gratitude, nodding to him. “Thank you, Yeosang.”
“Yeah, we’ll beat the shit out of anyone who tries something.”
Hongjoong couldn’t help but snort. “Thank you, Wooyoung. But really… don’t trouble yourself.”
“He won’t,” Yeosang said flatly, arm curled around Wooyoung’s arm tightly. “ Right ?”
“Hongjoong.” He turned with a raised eyebrow when Seonghwa called his name sharply. At his expression, Seonghwa took another breath, letting it go. His voice softened around the edges minisculely. “ This way,” he said stiffly.
He inclined his head slowly, eyeing Seonghwa as he turned away once more. He turned to Yeosang with one more gentle touch to his shoulder. “Keep everyone in line.”
Yeosang’s lips quirked up, as if scolding Hongjoong for thinking anything different. “Of course.” Hongjoong smiled back, his shoulder relaxing slightly. At the very least, he could convince himself that the others would be fine. Especially with each other to rely on.
This pack may be larger than their own, but Hongjoong had never smelled such divisions, even among the most aggressive of his own pack.
Which did not bode well for him and his select few that were outsiders trying to settle in, despite his faith in them.
~~~~~~~
Hongjoong was an omega.
Seonghwa could smell it, as clearly as the scent of earth and woodsmoke in the wind, and he could see it .
Hongjoong looked like an omega. He was small. Shorter than Seonghwa by a bit, with every part of him delicate and thin. His arms were wiry and his legs were thin, and his hands were tiny with short fingers that hid his claws.
His face was delicate- with a delicate soft nose and delicate lips that were always quirked in some way or another.
He looked breakable .
And then Seonghwa saw him pin one of his alphas to the ground with his boot, forcing the other into submission with nothing but himself. Not a single member of Hongjoong’s pack had even looked concerned at the attack. Not a single one made a move to help him.
Seonghwa swore he saw one them snort into his hand, as if he couldn’t believe the alpha thought this would go well.
And omega or not… that made Seonghwa pause.
Because he saw Hongjoong’s eyes.
Omega eyes. Soft brown that would flash an omega silver when riled up, but they gazed at Seonghwa and his pack, and they challenged .
Anyone else?
Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong’s eyes and they were challenging. They were defiant and sharp and angry . They… they made Seonghwa think twice. Because as much as he had expected another alpha, he had personally witnessed this omega overpower an alpha.
He had personally watched this omega stare down a pack leader without fear, snapping out in anger and curling his fists in preparation for an altercation.
He looked… strong. Perhaps not physically. He was small and stick-like. But in his eyes… in his eyes was a determination- a power- that Seonghwa couldn’t understand. Physically could not wrap his mind around.
Seonghwa told him to follow.
Hongjoong told him to say please .
Seonghwa was not a barbarian, despite what Hongjoong seemed to think. But he was a pack leader, and the thought that someone would refuse to follow his direction was startling, and more than a little bit annoying.
But Hongjoong didn’t quirk his lips in smug demand of knowing Seonghwa couldn’t touch him. He didn’t snicker in amusement as Seonghwa gave way. He simply stared at him expectantly, as if he were reminding a child of their table manners.
And… perhaps… if Hongjoong were an alpha as promised… perhaps Seonghwa would not be so inclined to order . Perhaps… if Hongjoong were not an omega, Seonghwa would have invited. By all intents and purposes, as two pack leaders- despite their wolves- Seonghwa and Hongjoong stood at equal ranking.
And Hongjoong seemed to wield this as a weapon, digging his heels in until Seonghwa acknowledged it, eyes expectant, as if waiting for him to realize that Hongjoong would not follow .
Hongjoong was… at worst, an intriguing anomaly. At best, he was someone Seonghwa might not regret bonding with.
Bonding had long since lost its meaning to Seonghwa. For years, he had numbed himself to the idea. Because he knew it would be a situation like this: an alliance with another pack for the strength of both. He and his mate would have a bond of allies, at best, and the contempt of strangers, at worst.
So far, Hongjoong seemed to view with the contempt of an omega turning their nose up at an alpha they found too brutish to be worth their time.
And Seonghwa wasn’t sure how- or even if he wanted- to fix that.
Because even only 24 hours after meeting him, Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong and declared him an anomaly that he would never understand.
Honestly, it might be a less painful experience for both if he just stopped trying.
~~~~~~~
Seonghwa’s home was large, with two stories, but somehow only one bedroom.
Certainly something fancier than Hongjoong’s hut they had been discussing in earlier.
“It wasn’t made for more than one person,” Seonghwa told him when he asked,observing the room with a large bed, tasteful curtains, and a desk. “But you should be comfortable here, even if it’s not what you’re used to.”
Hongjoong looked at him sharply, searching for a hint of insult. The Southern Pack was known to be more… wild than the larger ones. They lived in the woods, in huts and tents. They didn’t have cities and houses and large populations at their disposal. They had each other and the land.
But Seonghwa didn’t even look at him when he said it, so he assumed it wasn’t meant to insult. “Thank you,” he replied honestly, running his fingers over the top of the covers gently. They were surprisingly soft.
“So… is Yeosang your second in command?” Seonghwa asked too casually as he straightened papers on his desk without looking at him. “Or just a friend?”
Hongjoong looked up from the blankets to Seonghwa’s back, his shoulders stiff, and he almost wanted to roll his eyes. Alphas .
Hongjoong couldn’t really blame him. It was their nature. “What does it matter what he is?” he asked innocently.
Seonghwa put his papers down carefully, turning to him with an impassive face. “It doesn’t.” His voice was neutral- neither angry nor positive.
Hongjoong snorted. “We’ve only been forced into a bonding for 24 hours and already you’re possessive?”
“You’re very close to him,” Seonghwa noted, almost casual.
“Not only him. What- you aren’t threatened by Wooyoung? Just Yeosang?” He almost laughed.
“Wooyoung is an omega. You look at Yeosang differently.”
“That happens when someone saves your life.”
Seonghwa’s expression locked down slightly, as if he refused to show his reaction to the statement. “When did he save your life?”
“Many times,” Hongjoong shrugged. “Too many to recall.”
“So he is your second in command.”
“In a way. I have a couple of wolves who work directly under me.”
“Then who’s watching your pack, if your second in command is here?”
Hongjoong hummed, sitting on the edge of the bed. It was a strange conversation, but a conversation all the same. “San is more than capable of keeping everyone safe. Especially if Jongho is with him.”
Seonghwa couldn’t contain the snort that escaped him. “San? That scrawny beta? That Jongho alpha didn’t stop tormenting him the entire time I was there. He almost made him cry.”
“First of all,” Hongjoong replied coldly, scowling, “watch how you talk about my pack.”It wasn’t a threat, but it was a warning. “Second of all, Jongho is the first to tear out a throat if someone comes for his pack. San may not be the most physically strong and his emotions may guide his actions, but you’ll never find someone with better planning. He doesn’t need physical strength to win a fight. With Jongho’s strength and fire, they’re an unstoppable team.”
“You can’t have two head wolves left in charge,” Seonghwa broke in, crossing his arms assuredly. “It would cause a fight worse than the war you’re preparing for.”
And perhaps Hongjoong should start expecting it, but everything out here was so fucking stupid . He wanted to keep things light and amiable, but Seonghwa just made it so fucking hard . But even more than anger, it just made Hongjoong sad that there were people living with such limited, myopic views on what they and their packs could be.
He stared at Seonghwa with disappointment in his eyes. He saw Seonghwa tense under the gaze. “Such stupid ideals the world has,” he muttered, shaking his head. “San and Jongho are a team. They were one before they ever joined my pack. If I can’t trust them with it, I can’t trust anyone.”
“Why not just leave Yeosang behind?” Seonghwa demanded, clearly off balance by his choices. He looked as if each word out of Hongjoong’s mouth only threw him deeper into confusion. “He won’t have much use here, as your second in command.”
Hongjoong snorted. “He needs to follow Wooyoung if we want to keep the peace.”
“Wooyoung?” Seonghwa asked in disbelief. “That pompous omega?”
“That pompous omega tends to be a soft spot for Yeosang, so don’t let him hear you calling him that,” Hongjoong muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Why not leave them both, then?” Seonghwa demanded, as if he was tired of being talked in circles.
“Yeosang goes where I go,” Hongjong said simply. “Trying to convince him to stay behind would have been a waste of breath.”
Seonghwa lifted a sharp eyebrow. “He would have come here even if you told him to stay? What happened to the respect of a pack leader?”
Hongjoong felt a flare of annoyance. It was one thing to not understand the way his pack was run. It was another to continuously attack it and the wolves within it. “Yeosang is free-spirited. He does as he likes, and far be it from me to try and change that.”
Seonghwa’s brow drew down as he leaned against the desk, settling against it. “Sounds like you’ve had altercations with him before.”
Each of his statements spoke of trying to talk Hongjoong into a corner. And he truly didn’t know what corner he was hoping to back him into. What- was it a crime to allow your pack members freedom of their own?
“Yeosang knows when to listen and when to challenge me. It’s made him invaluable, especially with Wooyoung alongside him.” Seonghwa could never understand this. Hongjoong didn’t know why he was still trying to talk about it.
“You allow him to challenge you?” Seonghwa, for a moment, lost his skepticism, showing only pure shock. “You don’t retaliate against him? Why would you have someone like that as your second in command?”
Hongjoong snorted, so amused but so saddened by it all. “Yeosang, perhaps, is the only one who could usurp me,” he admitted, unashamed.
That caught Seonghwa by surprise, making his anger falter further. “What do you mean ‘could’?” he demanded. “Did he fight you and win?”
Hongjoong didn’t quite care for his tone, but he simply stared, eyes steely. “I’ve seen Yeosang in a fight. Under the right circumstances, he can beat me with no problem. But he’s never challenged me.”
“Why?” Seonghwa demanded. “He’s an alpha, isn’t he?”
Hongjoong didn’t look away, picking at the fabric of the blankets. “Yeosang has never wanted to lead. He only wants to protect. And he does that. If anything, he follows Wooyoung before me.”
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, shifting against the desk. “If you know he’s better than you, why have you not given him your title? You said you would give it willingly to someone who could best you.” Despite Seonghwa’s self-assured accusations, Hongjoong was not a liar clinging to power.
Hongjoong scoffed, tossing his hair out of his face. “An unwilling leader is worse than an incompetent one. Yeosang can protect our pack just fine without being head wolf. The politics of it all would be lost on him. We know our roles well. He and Wooyoung work well as my second in commands.”
“An alpha that doesn’t want to lead?” Seonghwa scoffed, a snarl barely hidden in his lips. “What kind of backwards pack have you raised?”
Hongjoong’s eyes flashed silver, his fingers twitching with the urge to bring his claws out. Seonghwa tensed at the prep for an attack.
Hongjoong didn’t want to lose himself to anger, but if this fucking alpha could stop questioning his every choice, his day would be going a lot better.
“One that doesn’t force its members into position they clearly have no desire to fill,” he snapped, a snarl stuck in his chest. “An omega wants to lead, they can lead. An alpha wants to follow, they can follow. Forcing someone into a role is only asking for disaster.”
“ Calm down ,” Seonghwa ground out, still on the defensive, eyes tinging red around the edges. “You operate entirely backwards from anything we’ve ever seen. You can’t fault me for being confused.”
And Hongjoong knew he couldn’t. But it still took a moment for him to retract his anger. He forgot how much he hated people outside of his pack.
“ Maybe if you would stop insulting everything I’ve spent my life building-”
Hongjoong bit his tongue, physically shoving down the anger until he could breathe through it.
God, it had only been a day. How was Hongjoong going to spend the rest of his life like this?
“Sorry,” he bit out through his teeth before the ominous future could swallow him. “But say another word against my pack, and we will be having a much more physical discussion, understand ?”
Ha. An omega threatening an alpha.
Seonghwa glanced him over, expression icy, perhaps looking for another intent to attack, before shaking his head. “It’s late,” he muttered, voice too low and controlled. “I have a meeting to attend in the morning. I’m going to bed. You should, too.”
He disappeared into the bathroom attached to the room, emerging moments later in his sleeping clothes. Hongjoong didn’t move, following him with his eyes as he moved around, still not trusting himself to move without making some small attack on the other.
Seonghwa walked to the side of the bed nearest the door without looking at Hongjoong, pulling back the covers and sliding in, turning his back to Hongjoong and laying still.
Oh , how every part of Hongjoong wanted to leave and find Yeosang and Wooyoung. But, they would be getting settled in their new home, as well, and Hongjoong would rather not disturb them. He sighed quietly.
Seonghwa wasn’t the worst he could ask for, in terms of alphas, but he certainly wasn’t ideal. There were any number of alphas who would have fought Hongjoong physically for his attitude. Ones who would snarl and shove and fight, for no reason other than their bruised prides.
Seonghwa, while hardheaded, seemed… reasonable. Or, at least, able to reasoned with, even if he never gave way.
Hongjoong stared at his back for a few moments before standing.
The bathroom was nice (better than his old community one: the woods), and there was an entire wall in the closet full of Hongjoong’s clothes, plus more that had been provided. He grabbed a comfortable set of his own sleeping clothes, pulling them on, staring down at them.
He grabbed a fistful of the shirt, pulling it to his nose.
It smelled like his hut. Like earth and hearth smoke.
Hongjoong tore them off, picking a pair that he knew he had never worn before, pulling them on. They smelled like cinnamon or something. Not his own smell, and not Seonghwa’s. He walked from the bathroom quickly, pausing once he reached the room itself.
Seonghwa still faced away from the center of the bed, completely still, as if that could convince Hongjoong he was asleep or something.
The entire house smelled of Seonghwa, but laying in his bed, against his pillows and under his blankets, Hongjoong was almost smothered by the scent of rose and wildflower, like a meadow after rain.
Meadows that Hongjoong had once been free to run through at his leisure.
It wasn’t a horrible scent. In fact, if Hongjoong closed his eyes, he could imagine he had simply fallen asleep in the meadows to the South of them. But the bed was too soft and the blankets too warm for it to be anything but an opening for his chest to ache.
Did they even have meadows here? Or had it all been razed to make room for their streets and buildings?
There was more than two feet between them in the sizable bed, and they faced away from each other.
It felt just as lonely as being in his cot back home, where he slept alone.
But here, there was no Jongho or San to crawl into his hut with him in the middle of the night after having snuck out under Yeosang’s nose (Hongjoong knew the alpha knew, but let them come anyway).
So Hongjoong put away his heartache (it would do his no good) and simply allowed himself to believe that the scent was truly a meadow and not a mate who shifted another inch away from him despite their distance.
~~~~~~~
Seonghwa was not jealous because Yeosang was another male.
He was not jealous because Yeosang was another alpha.
He wasn’t jealous at all .
But if he were jealous… it would be because Hongjoong looked at Yeosang with gentle eyes and touched him with gentle hands, but when he turned the next moment to look at Seonghwa, his eyes were like silver knives and his hands curled in anger (or apathy, if he was in a good mood).
To be fair, Hongjoong treated everyone in his pack that way- even Wooyoung, who Hongjoong smacked and pinched and told to behave. Certainly, Yunho, who acted as if he were still a pup despite being almost twice Hongjoong’s size.
(Seonghwa still refused to believe that wolf was a beta.)
Even Mingi, who was almost as bad as Jongho when it came to annoying Yunho, tugging on him like a couple of pups being let out of the den for the first time and just discovering their teeth. Even he gained stern, yet undeniably fond gazes from Hongjoong as he told him to pay attention.
And Seonghwa was still met with distrustful eyes, as if Hongjoong expected him to leap at one of his pack members.
And it wasn’t as if Seonghwa had done anything to earn that sort of treatment… even if he hadn’t necessarily done anything to not warrant it.
Well… perhaps, he had done more to warrant it than not. But he believed that each reaction he had displayed had been reasonable, given everything Hongjoong threw at him so suddenly, just expecting him to rearrange decades and lifetimes of traditions and normality.
A head omega? The thought was laughable at best and a mockery at worst.
He scoffed because the idea- not matter how true and supported- was still laughable. And Hongjoong continued to view him with contempt with each expression of disbelief. He didn’t do it to mock and enrage- he did it because there was nothing else he could do when faced with such ideals.
Seonghwa had decided that it wasn’t worth the effort to change Hongjoong’s opinion of him. Too much work for no worthwhile outcome. Regardless if Hongjoong smiled or cursed at him, he would still remain in the same situation they now trudged through.
When Hongjoong had first approached them at a distance, Seonghwa could tell clearly that he was the one in charge.
The pack walked behind him, and the wolves on either side of him (Two wolves standing in the position of second in command- one of which had been Yeosang, the other was Wooyoung) clearly supported him unconditionally.
As he had gotten closer, Seonghwa could see the set of his shoulders, the cool but not harsh expression on his face, and the way he held himself like a seasoned fighter and leader.
For a split moment, Seonghwa had almost felt good about this bonding.
Having someone like that by his side? Someone who clearly had the experience, the blood, for this kind of life? Someone clearly sure of himself, strong, dependable- he was running a wild camp better than some cities, for God’s sake.
Then Seonghwa had smelled him.
It was impossible .
Someone with that sort of presence could not be an omega. It must be some sort of joke.
But he had seen the way the pack reacted to him, to his slightest movement, in sync and in tune almost to the point of synchronicity.
The way they reacted to his packs’ comments on Hongjoong (glares and snarls at their sneers), to Jay’s attack (not even bothering to concern themselves- so sure of Hongjoong’s victory)… there was no denying that this man- this omega- lead them and lead them well .
Every member of that pack was loyal to him, which smarted a bit, if Seonghwa was being truthful in the darkest parts of his heart, considering the unrest in his own. It wasn’t like he was fighting to keep the peace, but they were not a very united pack. Not at all like Hongjoong’s, whom Seonghwa would bet all his territory on the fact that any one of them would die for any other within their ranks.
Certainly something you couldn’t hope to find within Seonghwa’s. He had hoped to change this when he bonded. Hoped that whoever he landed with would be enough to convince their pack to draw closer once more. And then it was Hongjoong… and omega…
Could he really lead beside an omega? He had counted on an alpha’s strengths, smarts, determination… and he did find it. Just inside an omega.
Was that enough? The mentality and prejudice that followed omegas… could Seonghwa rule with someone who would be tailed by that their entire life? Was it worth fighting that?
The logical part of Seonghwa’s brain told him to accept it: Hongjoong was perhaps a better choice than any alpha could be. If Seonghwa couldn’t smell him, he would never think he wasn’t one.
But the part of him that had grown up among alphas on top, betas being next, and weak omegas at the bottom- who could prove to be resourceful, but ultimately unreliable… Hongjoong was an exception to everything he knew. It wasn’t supposed to be physically possible for an omega to compete with an alpha.
“But look what happens when an omega is left to their own devices, without self-righteous alphas and betas telling them what they can and can’t do.”
Regardless of what he was, what others wanted him to be… Hongjoong was strong. But he was an omega. Despite how it should never happen, it had .
Hongjoong clearly made no attempt to hide the tactical glint, the experienced tension in his muscles with each twitch from Seonghwa- already forming and ready to enact a million plans in case of an attack.
Seonghwa could see in his eyes the intelligence racing around, and he could see in his actions… beyond the violent and distrustful… the gentler ones displaying how much he cared for his pack.
Actions other than the snarls and threats he had given Seonghwa for how he spoke of them.
Seonghwa realized, belatedly, that Hongjoong was basically giving himself up completely for them.
He sacrificed himself to a bonding he clearly didn’t want, moved to a pack that clearly didn’t want him , agreed to potentially take on characteristics that he clearly loathed, gave up his entire life for a few more allies to fight against a threat against his pack…
Seonghwa remembered the members of Hongjoong’s pack- especially the younger ones- like the fiery alpha, Jongho, who had practically challenged Seonghwa for Hongjoong. All of them staring at him like Seonghwa was taking him off to his death.
They didn’t hate him, but they hated him for taking away their leader who was only willing for their sake.
Part of Seonghwa was amazed, begrudgingly- as with all things with Hongjoong.
No matter how close a pack, there would be fights- physical and not. There was unrest and people disagreeing with their leader and elders and such.
Seonghwa had seen none of that. He didn’t think Hongjoong’s pack even had elders. They all followed Hongjoong without hesitation, and he lead them somehow in a space between dictatorship and democracy.
Seonghwa secretly, silently , hoped that somehow he would be able to help him bring some sense of peace to his own restless pack. Of course, how could he, when Seonghwa’s pack would hate him to his dying breath for choosing to stand as an equal with an alpha?
And why would he want to, considering the treatment that Seonghwa’s pack gave, swiftly and without remorse, to him and his pack?
~~~~~~~
Hongjoong’s job within this pack was clear: Seonghwa would go out to his meetings with the council, and Hongjoong would remain at the house with clear instructions not to leave.
Seonghwa assured him it was to ensure that the pack members got used to him being here, before he was out wandering on his own. It was just to make sure he was safe, Seonghwa said.
Hongjoong, at least, could hold his laughter until Seonghwa left.
And Hongjoong wouldn’t say that he was entirely opposed to this, at his core. Yeosang and Wooyoung visited, taking in the house and making harsh judgements on the state of the drapes and carpets.
Hongjoong had no real desire to exit the house today- too many angry pack members, and too many reasons to remain within the walls of the house.
Mainly: Yeosang and Wooyoung sitting at the kitchen table with him to keep him informed on everything going on.
Yeosang’s expression, however, made Hongjoong begin to regret everything.
“It’s not bad,” Yeosang assured him. “But it’s clear that no member of our pack is welcome anywhere in the public. There haven’t really been any outward attacks, but…” He blew out a short breath. “No one is questioning whether or not we’ll ever be accepted.”
“Mostly just yelling,” Wooyoung told him. “And a couple of instances where a few of his wolves got a little…” He cleared his throat, lisp curling in disgust. “Handsy, we’ll say.”
Hongjoong’s grip on the mug of tea almost threatened to shatter it. “That what?” he asked, level and dark.
“Nothing major,” Wooyoung said firmly, not even looking concerned. “Just a couple of us getting… choice comments when we’re out and about.” He rolled his eyes. “If anyone is causing an issue, it’s Yeosang and Yunho.”
“We aren’t causing issue- ”
“Yeosang almost tried to snap another alpha’s wrist,” Wooyoung tattled.
“He called Yunho a-”
“Enough,” Hongjoong said firmly, cutting off both of them, Yeosang turning fiery eyes to Hongjoong, even as Wooyoung rolled his. Hongjoong took a sharp breath, letting go of it slowly. “Try not to start any fights,” Hongjoong said quietly. “I’m not saying it’s not warranted!” He spoke over Yeosang’s mouth opening angrily. “Yeosang, you know I’d trust you to protect each and every person, but…”
Hongjoong sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead, pushing his tea away.
“Listen, this is never going to be ideal,” Hongjoong murmured, looking them both in the eyes. Yeosang’s were no longer red, but soft brown and worried. Wooyoung’s face was grim. “That’s just something we’ll have to live with. But I want to have as much of a moral high ground as we can, alright? I don’t want anyone being able to say we started anything.”
“ We aren’t-”
“I get that, Wooyoung,” Hongjoong assured him. “But… just do this for me, okay? Just try not to start any sort of fights. Not unless it’s truly necessary.”
And Hongjoong always had to be thankful for how much these two understood him- taking in the weight in his eyes and shoulders, and nodding without further argument.
Would Hongjoong love to let his pack make their place, whether the others liked it or not? Yes. They had as much right to be here as anyone.
But for the sake of the peace… for finding a neutral zone with Seonghwa and his pack… Hongjoong needed to keep them in a straight line.
“Thank you,” He said quietly. “I’ll speak to Seonghwa about your treatment, and get him to address it further. Clearly, his orders at the assembly weren’t enough.”
And Seonghwa had to audacity to scold Hongjoong about allowing another to challenge and disobey him.
“Is he really that awful?” Wooyoung questioned, leaning on one elbow, frowning. “That he’s just… not going to do anything?”
Hongjoong stared into his tea, watching his reflection ripple and shift. “I don’t know,” He admitted honestly. “I’ve interacted minimally with him over the past couple of days. He leaves early, comes home late. We didn’t say a word to each other yesterday, but it seems like anytime we do, it’s all about the politics about how we each choose to lead.”
“Maybe, he should fix his own broken pack before-”
“Wooyoung,” Hongjoong chastised gently, frowning as Wooyoung huffed, taking a rough sip of tea. “I’m angry with how he responds to us, but I understand why,” he assured him. “We are different. I don’t blame him for his actions…” He sighed. “I just wish he would be a little more open to understanding my own.”
“There’s no way he can’t see the merit you have,” Yeosang said firmly. “There’s no way he could look at you, our pack… and not think that there’s something there that works.”
“I have no doubt that he realizes it,” Hongjoong agreed readily. “But even if he realized, supported, and praised my methods, it’s still going to be hard for him to admit it. I don’t even think it’s pride at this point, it just… an inability to change. He likes how things used to be. It’s easier that way.”
Wooyoung scoffed. “Yeah, until you’re the omega getting shit on for being born. Or God forbid you’re an alpha who doesn’t want to be a fucking jock.”
Hongjoong gave a helpless shrug. “It’s easy for people scorned by a system to hate it. But those who benefit from it… they’re not likely to give in easily. But I think..” He hummed, resting his chin on his hand. “I don’t know,” he admitted, shaking his head. “But I’ll talk to Seonghwa. You two should head back and make sure nothing is going wrong.”
Yeosang and Wooyoung bid him goodbye, and Hongjoong wouldn’t let himself think about how much he really didn’t want to let them go. But the others needed them around more than he did.
He spent his day wandering the house, checking out the kitchen and it’s admittedly pitiful food collection. Did this man never eat at home?
The sun set. Hongjoong waited in the bedroom for a while, sitting on his side of the bed, staring at the wall, until the scent of wildflowers got too powerful and he had to move down to the living room. He sat in the dark, legs drawn up, and tried not to think about anything in particular.
He wanted to optimistic and believe Seonghwa capable of understanding him, but he doubted it wouldn’t happen until very close to his death.
He heard the sound of the door opening and turned, the moonlight creating Seonghwa’s silhouette that entered, pausing as it turned to Hongjoong on the couch, like he had been caught.
Seonghwa closed the door slowly. “It’s late,” he said, voice a little hoarse, as if he had been talking a lot. “Why are you still awake?”
Hongjoong stared in the darkness, eyes able to make out the closed off expression that locked down Seonghwa’s eyes. “I have a few complaints about the treatment of my pack members,” he said, standing slowly, stretching his legs.
Seonghwa stared for only a moment before turning away. “I’m not in the mood to talk right now. In the morning-”
Hongjoong caught his shoulder, forcing him to turn and face him.
Crimson and silver clashed in the pitch black, boring into each other as Seonghwa knocked Hongjoong’s hand away.
“Not in the morning ,” Hongjoong snapped. “That’s my fucking pack we’re talking about, and you’re going to listen to my complaints now, and not in a week when you pencil it into your agenda!”
Seonghwa’s lips curled angrily. “I’ve been out all day-”
“And meanwhile, my pack members are being harassed,” Hongjoong spat. “They were brought here to ensure my treatment- it is your responsibility to ensure theirs! Unless you want me to take this into my own hands to defend them myself.” Hongjoong grit his teeth, swallowing a curse. “If you think I’m above attacking a pack I’m supposed to be in charge of, you’re wrong.”
Seonghwa looked truly ready to fire something back, but Hongjoong beat him to it.
“Everything short of physical violence is being used against them,” Hongjoong hissed. “They are being harassed verbally- my omegas are being violated and the others are cursed for lowering themselves to exist with me.” His fists curled at his side. “So fix it ,” he spat. “Before I fix it myself, got it ?”
Hongjoong shouldered past Seonghwa, knocking him away, and when Seonghwa’s hand curled around his bicep to stop him, he tore away, a growl caught in his throat.
“ You don’t get to say your part,” He snarled. “You have nothing to say. If you’re such a good and mighty head alpha, then you have no excuse not to control your fucking pack. I’m making this clear to you now, Seonghwa,” he growled lowly. “If you’re going to bitch and moan about how great an alpha is at leading, you had better be able to back it up, and not just hide behind your title like it makes you worth anything .”
Hongjoong stormed up the stairs, slamming the door to the bedroom and standing there, his blood seething.
How much was it to ask that he just protect them? That he just take responsibility for the pack he took in and keep them safe?
Why did everything have to turn into arguments ?
Hongjoong slid beneath the covers before Seonghwa could enter. And Seonghwa either didn’t come into the bedroom at all or Hongjoong fell asleep before he did.
It was not a restful sleep.
~~~~~~~~
If Hongjoong and Seonghwa didn’t speak before, they were silent and ignorant of each other now.
Seonghwa was gone before Hongjoong even woke up, and when he returned to the house, it was in silence.
“Did you speak to them?” Hongjoong demanded that evening as Seonghwa exited the bathroom in his sleeping clothes.
Seonghwa didn’t look at him. “Yes,” he said flatly.
Nothing else was said.
The next morning, Seonghwa left the house. He could see Hongjoong sit up as he left the room, but he didn’t look back. Hongjoong knew anything he could say already. Seonghwa no longer mentioned remaining at the house, to busy keeping silent so that for once they could act like there was peace.
He blames himself for believing Hongjoong would actually just stay indoors like he asked him to. As if Hongjoong gave a shit what Seonghwa told him to do.
When Seonghwa returned home early (after another round and round argument about Hongjoong with the council that ended early before a real fight broke out) not far after noon, he found it empty. He felt something curl in his stomach as he stepped forward slowly.
“Hongjoong?” he called quietly. Usually, the omega was either within sight, or Seonghwa could at least smell him, but the scent of woodsmoke and rain was too faint.
He searched from the bedroom and worked his way into the kitchen, calling for him calmly when he didn’t catch sight of him immediately, but it was clear he wasn’t there.
Seonghwa stopped in the living area, holding his breath to keep it from picking up.
Where the hell would Hongjoong even think to go? To the house his members stayed at? That was almost the other side of the city, that was a long fucking walk among a lot of people who weren’t all that keen to allow him anywhere within their pack-
He was an omega, walking around a strange place, with other alphas who God knew what they were thinking with how they treated Hongjoong’s pack, much less the omega himself-
Forcing down something that felt too much like worry, Seonghwa breathed to calm himself.
He wasn’t worried. Worry implied some sort of attachment, of which, Seonghwa and Hongjoong had none.
Yes, he was an omega, but if anything Hongjoong was a threat to his alphas.
“Just go look for him,” he muttered to himself, shoving back everything else. “The most likely place is the housing for his pack-”
His mutterings were cut off by the door opening, making him whip around as a soon-to-be familiar scent of woodsmoke and earth reach him. Hongjoong toed off his shoes at the door, glancing up to see him standing there. He seemed mildly surprised to see him home so early, but didn’t mention it.
“Afternoon,” he greeted somewhat stiffly.
“Where the hell have you been?” he snapped, not sure why he was suddenly angry, but Hongjoong looked at him with too much innocence for someone who assuredly had conscious thought of disobeying him.
Hongjoong lifted a hand which held a shopping bag in it, as if Seonghwa should have noticed. “You were low on a few things,” he said easily. “Most things, actually,” he added. “I didn’t think you’d be back until late. I was planning to be back before you got here.”
“I told you to stay in the house,” Seonghwa said deep in his chest.
Hongjoong paused where he was stepping into the living area, eyeing Seonghwa and Seonghwa saw a very clear warning in his eyes: watch yourself .
“And I did. Until I went out to get a few things.” He held the bag aloft once more. “If you’re going to leave me here alone, at least let me have things to feed myself with.”
“I told you- ”
“And why exactly, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong snapped that familiar anger sparking, eyes flashing silver like a dagger flying through the air, “did you want me to stay in the house?”
Seonghwa could smell the anger rolling off of him, like pepper burning the inside of his nose.
Hongjoong stepped out of the doorway. “Was it because of the alphas who lusted over me while I walked to the store, as if I couldn’t smell that stench a block away?” he demanded angrily.
There had been-
“Or was it because you’re still ashamed of bringing back a weak little omega bitch who’s so backwards, he can even disobey his alpha mate?” His eyes stayed silver this time, glowing a dangerous mercury. “Or maybe you just wanted to see how much power you actually hold ever me- how long you can exert control before I just have to break it, well, let me set something straight right now .”
Hongjoong’s claws were out, tense and curled in anger, which made Seonghwa stiffen in preparation, but he didn’t make an action against him yet. Hongjoong and he had yet to get into a physical altercation, but Seonghwa had no doubt it would be so easy to tip over that line.
“You do not have power over me,” Hongjoong ground out slowly, hissing the words between clenched teeth. “I don’t give a damn about what our wolves are, I am not lower than you. I am not weaker than you. I don’t care how backwards and pitiful you think I am- I am an equal to you, and that means until you start respecting me, I sure as hell am not going to listen to your weak attempts to controlling me, do you understand ?”
Hongjoong’s eyes were still silver, and Seonghwa took a step towards him, his own claws still stowed, but ready to lash out. Hongjoong didn’t flinch.
Seonghwa was sick and tired of being the bad guy.
“I told you before we bonded,” he said slowly, voice low. “That this pack would expect certain things from you. And you agreed to those things. You agreed to act as an omega if necessary-”
“So your people demand a strong leader beside you,” Hongjoong spat. “Unless they’re an omega, then I need to shut up and sit down, is that right?” he demanded, hair standing on end, a growl in his chest. “That’s bullshit, Seonghwa, you have to acknowledge that!”
If fire could be silver… his house would be burning.
Hongjoong shook his head, something almost frantic in his eyes behind the anger. “I’m not going to present myself as some weakling . I spent too much of my life being one, I am not lying about a strength I lost so much to get!”
He dropped the shopping bag onto the ground, vegetables and a jug of milk rolling out as he turned on his heel and stormed to the door.
“What are you doing?” Seonghwa demanded, moving after him.
Hongjoong jammed on his boots again, standing. “Going out for a walk,” he snapped, not looking at Seonghwa. “I want to have a talk with Yeosang and some of the other members of my pack.”
“Our pack.”
Seonghwa didn’t know why he said it. He had never bother to refer or correct their statements that it was Seonghwa’s pack and Hongjoong’s pack, despite the fact that on paper, they were the same.
Maybe it was just to piss Hongjoong off. Maybe it was some sort of desperate attempt to… something .
Hongjoong stopped where he was halfway out the door, looking back at Seonghwa with an expression that almost seemed more regretful than angry. And Seonghwa hated those emotions that fell outside the realm of anger. Anger was fiery and required more anger.
Pity and regret were calmer, and made Seonghwa into a monster for lashing out.
“Not if your pack can’t accept us,” Hongjoong muttered, low in his chest. “Our packs are bound together now, Seonghwa, but your pack is the one keeping us from being one. Not mine.”
Seonghwa felt like he had slapped him, leaving him stunned and smarting as he exited the house. He stood there for what felt like an eternity, motionless.
Why couldn’t he just make things easy? Why couldn’t he follow what Seonghwa said? Why couldn’t he just give way sometimes , and stop being so difficult?
Why couldn’t he just do as he was told? Why couldn’t his pack just settle in among them without creating issue?
Why did Hongjoong always-
Have to make Seonghwa so uncomfortable with his statements? Why did Seonghwa always feel the urge to shift, like an itch on his skin he couldn’t scratch, when Hongjoong yelled?
Why did Hongjoong always have to…
Maybe…
Maybe… be a little bit… right?
Seonghwa resisted the urge to slam his head into a wall in frustration.
Hongjoong’s pack may not have been happy about the bonding, but they had been welcoming. They had been hospitable, even after Seonghwa’s pack had attacked their pack leader, unprompted.
They had come up to him after the ceremony and congratulated him, (albeit stiffly, but what’s done is done) asking him to make sure Hongjoong was looked after. Not a single request other than to look after their leader.
(Seonghwa had told them he would be. Seonghwa had lied.)
Hongjoong’s pack stood by at the assembly while his own pack hurled insults at Hongjoong, angry but silent, knowing that this wasn’t their fight. Knowing that they were outnumbered, bound by paper, stuck here and willing to take insult for the sake of keeping a peace Seonghwa’s pack seemed intent on ripping to pieces.
They stood by and lived, trusting Hongjoong to fight his own battles and to keep their own battles to a minimum because that’s what pack leaders did .
They protected their pack. Even from others in their pack. .
And maybe, if Seonghwa had been a little less concerned about his battles against Hongjoong, he would have gotten his head far enough out of his ass to see the battles Hongjoong faced, on top of the hell Seonghwa gave him. He would have noticed that Hongjoong’s anger was not at Seonghwa himself.
It was at Seonghwa’s apathy. His indifference. His inaction. His pride. All of his flaws that put Hongjoong’s own pack at risk within a place they had promised would be safe.
Seonghwa had promised it would be safe.
Fucking hell .
Seonghwa ran out of the house, glancing down the street in time to see Hongjoong round the corner out of sight. He hurried down it, angry and annoyed and frustrated. Because his pride had been bruised yet again.
Seonghwa had thought he had a pretty level headed alpha. Not blinded by pride so much that it interfered, he thought. But what little pride he had was enough to ruin everything, apparently.
He just hated being wrong .
Especially after so long of fighting and pulling and not giving. Of insulting Hongjoong and his pack, of ignoring them, of basically bringing them into a lion’s den and becoming annoyed when they complained.
Hongjoong wasn’t blameless, but God , did he seem like a lot less of an ass than Seonghwa.
Maybe it was better to be an omega with power. He was sure that it took away a lot of complications that came with having an alpha’s pride.
Could he have the strength to leave his pack, enter into a hatred-filled one, all while being expected to lower himself into something he wasn’t?
Seonghwa was sure he would rather die.
He rounded the corner as Hongjoong walked down a street towards the town square and ran after him. “Hongjoong!” he called.
If he heard him, he didn’t look back.
“ Dammit ,” he bit out, running faster. He made it out of his sight, but Seonghwa was right behind him.
“ Did you just look me in the eye ?”
Seonghwa’s heart skipped at the angry shout that was followed by the distinct sound of someone yelping. Loud and pained.
“Hongjoong!”
He rounded the corner to find Hongjoong frozen on the other side of it, his eyes blown wide and his lips parted in shock. But Seonghwa only spared him a glance as he followed his gaze to an older beta of Seonghwa’s pack standing over Wooyoung.
He was on the ground, three clear red lines bleeding across his cheek as his shaking hand hovered over them, afraid to touch them, staring at the beat with wide, wet eyes.
And Seonghwa almost couldn’t reconcile the terrified omega on the ground to the cocky one who had begged his pack to challenge Hongjoong. But the beta’s claws were dripping red, and he stepped towards Wooyoung once more, his intention clear.
Seonghwa’s mouth opened to shout at the beta, but he didn’t even get a breath out before Hongjoong was gone.
Seonghwa blinked and the man beside him was suddenly pinning the beta to the ground with a vicious snarl that vibrated the air around them.
Except, it wasn’t a man pinning him down.
It was a wolf.
A pure white wolf with eyes as dangerous and deadly as liquid mercury.
The beta cried out, struggling under the massive beast on top of him. Wooyoung was still on the ground, staring at the two of them with wide eyes, but he didn’t look afraid. Only shocked at the sudden appearance.
“Hong-”
“ Wooyoung !” Yeosang suddenly broke through the crowd that had gathered, reaching the boy on the ground and dragging him away from the fight even as he examined his cheek.
“Hongjoong,” Wooyoung protested, pointing firmly as he began to struggle against Yeosang’s hold, but the alpha held him back easily, expression stormy.
“Leave it,” he ordered, Wooyoung still wrapped in his arms- whether for comfort or restraint, Seonghwa couldn’t tell.
He had gotten distracted by the two of them, but Seonghwa’s eyes snapped back to Hongjoong and the man.
The beta had also summoned his wolf, a brown one with black patches, and the two of them were rolling around in the square. People around them were screaming- some cheering them on and others running from the carnage.
Teeth snapped and claws scraped-
For a moment, Seonghwa felt afraid.
The beta rammed Hongjoong in the side, sending him tumbling as he leapt at the omega, snarling with a dangerous gleam in his cerulean eyes.
“ Enough !” Seonghwa finally shouted, finding his voice. It came out more desperate than he intended, and he saw Yeosang look at him from his peripheral.
Neither wolf paid him any mind, as if he hadn’t spoken.
Hongjoong, rather than trying to avoid the wolf’s attack, lunged up to meet the other. Seonghwa couldn’t stop the gasp that left his lips as Hongjoong lunged, his teeth sinking into the other wolf’s neck. He jerked forward a step, but made it no farther.
A wolf didn’t aim for the neck unless they were aiming to kill.
Wooyoung winced, his hand grabbed Yeosang’s and squeezing in pointedly, but the older shook his head minisculely, expression stony as he watched Hongjoong slam the other wolf into the ground, growling loud enough to vibrate the bones in Seonghwa’s chest.
Now in such a vulnerable position, the beta didn’t dare fight, his eyes wide with fear, red dripping onto the concrete as he tried to remain as still as possible, even as his hindlegs twitched desperately.
Seonghwa could see red staining the white fur around Hongjoong’s mouth, splatters of it painted across his pristine coat, and for a moment he marvelled that he had managed not to kill the beta with such an attack.
Hongjoong snarled against his neck, his paw landing on the beta’s shoulder, sinking his claws into him. The man whimpered desperately, begging for mercy, but didn’t dare move.
Seonghwa could see Hongjoong press harder against his shoulder as anger built, the silver of his eyes fading to a deep red.
Everything stopped for a moment.
Seonghwa stared, frozen.
Red eyes were the mark of an alpha. There was no way an omega could have red eyes, it wasn’t physically possible… It was impossible-
Hongjoong’s jaw began to tighten on the man’s neck, causing him to choke, eyes trying to look up at Hongjoong, silently begging for mercy.
Red dripped down his maw, staining more of the pristine white with an enemy's blood-
“Hongjoong.”
The name was gentle, but it held warning.
Seonghwa turned instinctively to see Yeosang standing, Wooyoung remaining on the ground, staring at Hongjoong with wide eyes that almost seemed to be saying something.
Hongjoong’s crimson eyes flickered over to Yeosang, growling at him, warning him about approaching.
Yeosang paid him no heed, appearing unbothered of the eyes that were a darker red than the blood on his maw. He stepped towards Hongjoong slowly, hands outstretched like he was approaching a dangerous animal to calm. Which he was.
Seonghwa almost warned him to back off.
You didn’t just approach two wolves in a fight. That was asking to lose a hand. At least. And Hongjoong… Hongjoong didn’t seem willing to let go.
“That’s enough,” Yeosang said softly, pausing a few feet away from them, hands placating. “Wooyoung is okay. You’ve taught him his lesson. Now let him go.”
There was a rumble deep in Hongjoong’s throat, and for a moment his jaw tightened further, the beta whining breathlessly.
“ Hongjoong ,” Yeosang said, more sternly, eyes darkening. “ Let him go . Before you do something you regret.”
Again, there was a heartbeat of tense waiting where Seonghwa didn’t breathe- torn between telling Yeosang to back away and bringing out his own wolf to force the two of them apart.
But then the crimson of Hongjoong’s eyes faded to silver again. He removed his claws from the beta’s shoulder, making him yelp.
“Turn back,” Yeosang coaxed softly. Much too calm when faced with the bloodstained wolf staring at him distastefully.
Hongjoong waited one more moment before opening his mouth, dropping the other wolf onto the cement. His mouth was stained red, one of his paws a similar scarlet color. The wolf whimpered on the ground, not moving away from him, his chest heaving.
Seonghwa blinked and the white wolf was gone, replaced with Hongjoong in his jeans and boots. His eyes were still silver, his expression as thunderous as a hurricane as he turned back to the other wolf.
“If you ever ,” he breathed quietly, “come near my pack again. I will rip your throat out and leave your bleeding carcass for scavengers.” Blood dripped from one of his hands. “Now, leave before I do just that.”
The beta yelped, getting to his feet, stumbling with blood dripping, but he ran off towards the streets that lead away from the square, leaving paw prints of red behind him.
When Hongjoong turned back to them, his eyes were no longer silver. He brought an arm up, wiping away the blood around his mouth, his brown eyes focused on Wooyoung on the ground.
He rushed forward, dropping to his knees beside him and examining the slashes on his cheek. “Are you okay?” he murmured quietly, fingers touching the cuts that had already begun to scab over. His wolf’s healing would take care of them in a few days, but had they been just a little higher and reached his eye…
Wooyoung nodded, allowing Hongjoong to hug him loosely, pressing his face to his neck, breathing in his scent as he shook a little in his arms.
For as fiery an omega that Wooyoung was (startlingly similarly to Hongjoong himself), it was clear that he was not a fighter. Nor, did he seem accustomed to being attacked.
“I’m sorry,” Wooyoung muttered softly, voice dark with regret, muffled by his neck. “I bumped into him. I was going to apologize and he just- He-“
Wooyoung seemed more shaken than scared by the event. Perhaps he realized how close he had come to losing an eye.
Hongjoong hushed him, shaking his head firmly. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry, I should have done something-” he stopped himself, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, and Seonghwa realized that part of the shaking was coming from Hongjoong.
He realized with the force of a lightning bolt that Hongjoong was scared.
That he had been terrified that Wooyoung had been hurt badly. That the wolf had gone too far.
Yeosang knelt beside them, not looking Hongjoong in the face. “I should have been paying better attention,” he confessed, guilt clear in his voice. “We hadn’t gone anywhere alone, but I only lost sight of him for a moment, I should have-”
Hongjoong looked up, eyes a particular shade of dark as he bumped his knuckle against Yeosang’s forehead, making him pause, looking up with wide eyes as Hongjoong stared him down.
“Neither of you did anything wrong, understand? Though, I do wish you would have let me rip that bastard’s throat out .” His eyes flickered icy grey as Yeosang looked at him almost sadly.
“You made me promise to stop you.”
Seonghwa’s eyes widened as Hongjoong hummed as Wooyoung pulled away from the embrace, fixing his hair.
“I know,” Hongjoong replied quietly, eyes a million miles away.
Wooyoung reached out, wiping a stray smear of blood off of Hongjoong’s cheek. “So much for not starting any fights- huh, hyung?”
Hongjoong simply flicked his forehead lightly, not even enough for Wooyoung to wince.
“Take him back to the house,” he requested, patting Wooyoung’s head, making the other pull away as he fixed it, scowling. “Make sure to fix up those scratches.”
Yeosang nodded, standing and holding onto Wooyoung’s hand firmly as he helped him to stand. He tried to walk away, but Wooyoung fought him for a moment, looking up at Yeosang with a nervous expression. “Wait.”
Yeosang glanced back, brows drawn down as if looking for another injury on the younger.
Wooyoung pointed to the cuts. “Do they at least look cool?”
Seonghwa blinked as Yeosang sighed harshly, cuffing Wooyoung on the side of the head, making him cry out in indignation.
“Stop being stupid,” Yeosang huffed, dragging an unwilling Wooyoung along without looking back at his continued whines, looking like two pups wrestling in the dirt.
Hongjoong smiled.
Not the fond, secret sort of smirk he had seen him give Yeosang and Jongho, but a full blown smile that set his eyes alight for a moment as he watched the two of them walk away together.
Someone in the crowd muttered something- too quiet to distinguish but loud enough to remind them of their presence.
Hongjoong’s smile faded as he turned to the crowd that was still gathered, casting his face back in shadow and anger. It was startling- almost chilling- after such a warm display. About ten people stared at his with varying amounts of contempt and shock.
“Hear me now,” he called in a voice strong enough to be felt in Seonghwa’s chest. “Regardless of your personal issues and vendettas against me, you leave my pack out of it !” His fists were clenched as he looked the strangers in the eye. “Make sure this entire pack knows: if another person attempts to harm members of my pack-“ A flash of silver. “I will not hesitate to kill you.”
Several wolves stepped back, nervous and prancing after the earlier willingness he had displayed.
“If you have issues with me, you bring them to me, ” he snapped, claws flashing out. “If your head wolf won’t make this threat, then I’ll be happy to deliver: Touch a member of my pack, and we will settle it the one way you people seem to understand.”
No one responded, but a few of them looked away.
It was a startling sight: a handful of betas and alphas averting their eyes to an omega.
He ignored the sharp pain in his chest that felt too much like guilt, shoving it away.
Hongjoong turned around swiftly, meeting Seonghwa’s eyes with ones made of ice.
Hongjoong approached him, his shadow falling over stone and blood, pausing at Seonghwa’s side as he glared at him. “I don’t give up my own power unless I know someone else can use it better,” he muttered darkly. “ This is why you will never have power over me, Seonghwa. Because I can’t trust you to use power right.”
Hongjoong left, once more, and Seonghwa would have felt shamed by the people who had just watched their head alpha be talked down to by an omega.
But truthfully, Seonghwa didn’t even feel the urge to talk back to Hongjoong. He didn’t feel like fighting Hongjoong.
He honestly didn’t think he would win.
Not because of the strength Hongjoong had displayed. But because Seonghwa realized, with a sinking sensation in his gut, something that would change the future of their two packs from that moment on:
Hongjoong was right.
Chapter 2: Instinct to Survive
Notes:
A quick one!
Honestly I have most of this one written so it just felt wrong, making you wait so long for the next chapter~~
But I had fun writing this one, and I’ve gotten such good support from my first chapter, so thank you!!
I hope you enjoy this one~~
Have an amazing day and let me know what you think!
-SS
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hongjoong was asleep on the couch by the time Seonghwa returned home after an extensive walk around the city, avoiding any council member’s attempts at conversing about the fight for most of that time. He had walked until it was too dark to attempt staying out any later, and dragged himself home slowly.
He didn’t want to face Hongjoong.
When he entered the house, the moonlight lit up the shape sitting up on the couch, and Seonghwa froze, until he noticed the gentle rise and fall of Hongjoong’s chest.
Seonghwa frowned. Usually, Hongjoong was asleep and upstairs when he was out this late- a desperate attempt to avoid as much interaction as possible. But this time…
He was about to try and wake Hongjoong, needing to have a conversation about all this- about everything- .
Hongjoong slept sitting against the back of the sofa, as if he hadn’t planned to fall asleep there.
And Seonghwa thought back to the realization he had earlier, about to what lengths Hongjoong was willing to go to protect his pack.
And murder was now added to the list because Seonghwa truly believed he would have killed that man for harming Wooyoung, even nonlethally.
You made me promise to stop you.
I know.
Why? Why would he need Yeosang to make him stop? If he felt that someone deserved to die, why would he want Yeosang to stop him? Unless… he had a lack of control over that part of himself? Before, it had almost seemed like Hongjoong couldn’t hear Yeosang, too intent on ending a life.
Red eyes.
Seonghwa frowned, staring at his sleeping face, for once not hardened by anger or stony with frustration. It made him look… happier. Not really younger or lighter, but almost… almost as if Seonghwa could imagine him smiling easier than he could before.
Nothing about him made any sense.
Hongjoong was an enigma and a dangerous one, at that. He was liquid and changing- giving Seonghwa whiplash with how quickly he could turn hostile and deadly from calm and unimpressed.
He brought himself out of his head with a sigh and found eyes staring back at him in the dim light. He almost jumped, finding Hongjoong staring silently at him, his expression back to anger as he shifted to sitting up fully.
“I took care of Wooyoung,” Hongjoong said stiffly, like he was just trying to fill the silence between them that choked them. “He’s fine, in case you were wondering.” It wasn’t petulant or snide. Just… bitter.
I can’t trust you to use power right.
“I’m glad,” he returned quietly, genuinely. “I spoke with the council members briefly,” he added, voice calmer than he ever remembered speaking to Hongjoong before. “The beta is being dealt with, and everyone is being warned about how they treat your pack members.” He found himself avoiding Hongjoong’s eyes, searching the darkness of the room. “I’m sorry this happened. He had no right to attack your pack, regardless of what they did. Wooyoung, of course, did nothing wrong, and I’m sorry he was hurt.”
Could he sound any more disingenuous?
Hongjoong stared at him, eyes like ice cubes being pressed to his skin. But then he lowered his eyes, staring at his hands. Something in them softened, something around his jaw loosening and unlocking. Now… Now, Hongjoong looked younger.
“Thank you,” he murmured quietly, voice raw with a sincerity that punched Seonghwa in the chest.
Seonghwa realized two things in that instant:
1) That Hongjoong did not want to fight him.
He would. For every moment they were together, he would fight and kick and scream against him… but he didn’t want to. He just wanted to protect his pack. He just wanted them to be treated fairly and given a home.
He just wanted what he had been promised: protection for his pack against any threat. That had been in their contract. And when Seonghwa failed to provide it, Hongjoong took matters into his own hands, as he promised he would.
2) That Hongjoong could potentially be the best partner he would ever find to lead with.
Seonghwa’s earlier decision to simply let the two of them exist in their own spheres was proving to be ineffective and potentially damaging. Hongjoong was strong. Hongjoong was powerful . He was smart and dedicated, and Seonghwa realized he would be a fool and an ass to let something like that suffer alone while he stood idly by.
Hongjoong did not fight for fighting’s sake, he fought for his pack . And he had tried to extend an olive branch to Seonghwa, he had tried to make this as peaceful as possible, yet here he was, torn over Wooyoung who was attacked for no reason.
Seonghwa had continually rejected him, confused and put-off by his backwards actions and views. But truly… where was the harm in them?
His mind went to Wooyoung, harmed for nothing more than existing as he had been allowed. An innocent by stander- harmed because he had been taught that he didn’t need to lower himself to other wolves.
And Seonghwa had the audacity to think that Hongjoong’s pack was in the wrong?
What about them was so vile that Seonghwa would stand by, silent, as a member of his own pack attacked his mate?
His mate…
Hongjoong’s eyes were cold and hard, allowing no room for the warmth Seonghwa knew he was capable of. And for the first time… Seonghwa felt something in his chest shift.
Something inside of him squirmed in discomfort because that was his mate .
What was he doing that his mate would look at him with such contempt?
And for the first time, the wolf inside of him found something inherently wrong with this.
Contract or not, Hongjoong was his mate. Seonghwa shouldn’t need a piece of paper to tell him to protect him.
He just needed to find a common ground. He just needed to figure out how to connect with him, and when he did… Hongjoong would prove to be the most useful ally he could ever ask for.
Perhaps…
Perhaps, even the most bearable mate he could have asked for.
“I’m going upstairs,” he said quietly, Hongjoong’s brow furrowing at his softer tone. Seonghwa simply pressed his lips together, something uneasy and painful in his chest. “I think-” He hesitated, mouth thinning. “I think we need to talk tomorrow.”
About today. About their… everything. Everything. Seonghwa needed to… say some things.
He expected Hongjoong’s eyes to harden into hostility, his expression to lock down, but he simply nodded quietly. “Sure.”
Seonghwa didn’t expect it to be that easy.
Hongjoong did not want to fight for fighting’s sake.
“Will you stay down here?” Seonghwa questioned. It wasn’t an invitation for him to come upstairs. And, in fact, Seonghwa was sure it would be a deadly awkwardness if Hongjoong did come up with him.
Hongjoong searched Seonghwa’s face for a moment, eyes glinting in the dim light curiously. “Yes.”
“Do you want me to bring a blanket?”
Hongjoong’s eyes narrowed slightly, not angrily, but like he was trying to see through whatever Seonghwa was hiding behind. “No,” he said quietly. “I’ll be fine, thank you.”
And truly, this was the most civil conversation the two of them had had since Hongjoong arrived.
Seonghwa had resigned himself to a mate he could tolerate at best, and he had prepared to live his life avoiding them as much as possible as he attempted to keep his pack from falling apart.
But now, faced with the sight of Hongjoong, eyes distant and cordial at best, that uncomfortable pressure in his chest only built.
“Sleep well.”
Hongjoong’s expression was stiff, but not so hard. “You, too.”
And despite sleeping alone for the majority of his life, after only days of having Hongjoong’s distant presence in the bed as well, it felt impossibly large and empty.
If Seonghwa slept facing Hongjoong’s side of the bed (which he never did), he could pick up the scent of rain and earth and smoke that had overtaken his own.
~~~~~~~
Seonghwa woke up and found the couch empty.
The panic from yesterday rose up in his chest, but he forced it down as he smelled the scent of syrup coming from the kitchen.
He just woke up and started making breakfast, everything was fine.
But when he entered the kitchen, he found Wooyoung sitting at the table, chewing on his waffles, looking up when he entered and tossing him a dark look. “Good morning,” he greeted stiffly, looking back down at his food pointedly.
Seonghwa was surprised by the strength of the guilt that hit his stomach as he looked at the omega’s bandaged cheek.
As Seonghwa approached, he saw Wooyoung stiffen further, hair raising as if expecting a fight, warning him to stay away. Seonghwa paused a few steps away, not closing the distance any further.
“You don’t have to lower your eyes, Wooyoung,” he said calmly. “Despite what happened yesterday, we don’t do things like that here. Maybe we’re not quite as free as your pack, but our hierarchy doesn’t work like that.”
Really, Seonghwa didn’t know what the hell that beta was thinking, attacking an omega simply for looking him in the eyes. Such things had never been their way. But he supposed when you saw the other pack as outsiders, as barbarians and freaks, it was easy to turn them into something lower than yourself.
Wooyoung growled low in his throat, but slowly lifted his head to stare at Seonghwa who met his gaze evenly. “Where is Hongjoong?” The alpha asked, seeing the rest of the room vacant, the scent of earth faded.
Wooyoung finished swallowing, body stiff, still ready for something to go wrong. Seonghwa could practically smell the scent of Stay Back radiating off of him. He turned his attention back to his waffles.
“He left a little while ago, right after I got here earlier this morning,” he said carefully, glancing up to gauge Seonghwa’s reaction. “He’s gonna check in with Yeosang and make sure everyone else was okay after yesterday. He told me to just wait here for him.”
Yeosang.
Who, for whatever reason, had promised he would stop Hongjoong. Who, for whatever reason, was clearly Hongjoong’s most trusted companion. Who, for whatever reason, was allowed to question Hongjoong as he pleased, and follow this Wooyoung around wherever he went.
“He said he’d be back soon, though. He should be back soon.” He nodded, more to himself, turning back to his waffles and eating another bite. “He left waffles for you, too,” he added, gesturing to the stove.
Seonghwa ignored the part of him that said to be concerned, to push Wooyoung for more details, to go out after Hongjoong, just to… to…
What? What could he possibly offer? It was clear Hongjoong didn’t desire his presence, nor did he need his help. So, really… Seonghwa would only create further friction by trying to control Hongjoong in any way, even by trying to look out for him.
I can’t trust you to use power right.
Seonghwa simply hummed and took the waffles sitting on the stove, sitting at the table across from Wooyoung who glanced up darkly, as if daring him to try something.
A fiery omega… but not a fighter. What was his plan, if something did happen?
Seonghwa shoved the thought aside.
If something did happen, Seonghwa was actually going to step in, rather than standing uselessly at the side, as if he had never seen a wolf fight before.
There was a thick silence between them as Wooyoung finished his waffles and started drinking his cup of milk.
“You like having Hongjoong as a pack leader?”
Wooyoung choked a little on his milk, bringing his cup down quickly and looking at Seonghwa with eyes that were a little harder than before. “Why?” he asked, in a tone similar to Jongho’s when he had been speaking to Hongjoong about Seonghwa. Dark. Distrustful. Bitter.
“I’m not trying to pick any fights,” Seonghwa placated, lifting his hands slightly in surrender. “I just want to understand Hongjoong. I don’t like what’s happening to his pack anymore than he does.” Wooyoung gave him a skeptical look. Seonghwa felt another churn in his stomach. “ Honest .”
Was it all that surprising that the younger didn’t believe him, given that less than a day ago, Seonghwa was standing by uselessly after he had finished yelling at Hongjoong yet again?
But the younger’s eyes turned a less-angry shade, setting his glass down. “I like Hongjoong,” he said firmly, looking at Seonghwa like he dared him to contradict him. “He’s… he’s good. Not just at leading, he’s just… a good person. He doesn’t deserve half the shit that happens. He never wanted any of this, especially from you , he just-”
Wooyoung cut off, glancing at Seonghwa as if trying to gauge how much he could be trusted. His lips pressed together tightly, paling under the pressure. His eyes glinted silver as his nose flared, as if scenting him.
Wooyoung smelled like pine. An unnecessary note, but one Seonghwa made all the same. Wooyoung finally sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Do you want things to work out with Hongjoong?” he asked, arms crossing, eyes flashing once more, defiant and stern.
Seonghwa felt like the omega had just kicked him in the stomach. “I- What?”
Wooyoung’s eyes darkened. “Do you want things to work out? Or are you planning on sitting by while Hongjoong tries to make it by everyday? Do you plan to actually start trying to make an effort, or are you going to keep sitting by while your mate struggles against your pack?”
And Seonghwa’s mouth opened, an instinctual action to defend himself, to tell Wooyoung that he had no right to talk as if he understood what was happening with him and Hongjoong… but, perhaps, everyone but Seonghwa understood.
Because, really, what did Seonghwa actually know about Hongjoong?
Seonghwa swallowed the misdirected anger, hands curling into fists on the table. Wooyoung’s eyes flickered down to them, his hair rising, daring Seonghwa to try something.
But Seonghwa’s tension was not aimed at the omega before him. “From the very beginning, I had planned on mating whoever was most convenient, and then spending the rest of my life ignoring them as much as I could.”
Wooyoung straightened stiffly, slamming his cup down on the table. “ You were- ”
“Now,” Seonghwa said quietly, but enough that Wooyoung fell silent, silver eyes dark and claws scratching into the table. “Now… I want to understand Hongjoong, as much as you may not believe me. I want to understand why he is the way he is, and I want… I want to…”
What? Use him as a competent companion? Live happily ever after? Act as if the both of them could somehow find themselves anything but miserable together?
Seonghwa floundered for words, none of them coming, but to his shock, Wooyoung’s shoulders unbunched slowly, claws disappearing and eyes flickering back to brown as he stared at Seonghwa in disappointment, not anger.
“ Fine ,” He muttered, as if a choice had been made for him that he didn’t quite agree with. “Fucking stupid, but whatever,” he muttered, rubbing at his eyes for a moment.
Seonghwa… wasn’t sure what that meant, but Wooyoung leaned back in his chair stiffly. Seonghwa figured this meant he passed… whatever test Wooyoung had given him?
Wooyoung huffed gently, running a hand through his hair, fluffing it. “Hongjoong is a good person,” he said, like Seonghwa had forgotten. “Yeosang and I…”
Wooyoung’s eyes softened around the edges, becoming a little far away, as if already in a different time. Seonghwa wondered if Wooyoung understood that Yeosang apparently followed him anywhere. He must, right?
Yeosang would follow him… but he smacked Wooyoung around and called him an idiot, and Wooyoung looked at him like he was the newest fun thing handed to a child. What sort of relationship was that? At least, what sort of relationship that bore that sort of loyalty? Over even the pack leader?
Wooyoung chewed his lip for a moment. “We were taken into Hongjoong’s pack after we got run out of our old one. I was a runt omega who wasn’t supposed to survive past a few years. But I did. Barely. Once I was older, my father thought Yeosang might rub off on me, make me… less omega. But they discovered that Yeosang was a sorry excuse for an alpha to them.”
Wooyoung’s eyes flashed dangerously, even at just a memory. “He didn’t want to hunt or fight, even though he was incredibly good at it. It came naturally to him, but he hated nothing more. One day, my father told me to leave and not come back.” His expression was unreadable. “Yeosang left with me.”
Yeosang has never wanted to lead. He only wants to protect. And he does that. If anything, he follows Wooyoung before me .
Seonghwa stared at Wooyoung who spun his glass around the table, passing it between his hands.
“A woman from our old pack found us while we were out hunting with Hongjoong… months after we had left.” His voice turned bitter, his hands clasping around the glass tightly, stopping its path. “She attacked Yeosang and I. Hongjoong…” Wooyoung shook his head. “He wasn’t anywhere near us. And then suddenly he was tackling her, and he…” He hesitated for a moment before nodding. “He did to that woman what he wanted to do to that man yesterday.”
It was said with a heavy countenance. Wooyoung understood what it was to kill and fight. But the glimmer in his eyes spoke of regret. As if… as if he was saddened by the thought of Hongjoong doing so.
“Hongjoong was often violent like that?” Seonghwa asked, chest twisting.
“Never without provocation,” Wooyoung snapped, glaring at him.
Seonghwa hadn’t meant it as-
“And never without a reason,” Wooyoung pressed, knuckles white around the glass. “Your beta attacked a member of his pack without proper provocation. By anyone’s rules, that’s cause for him to kill him, if he chose. But he didn’t .”
“He wanted to, though,” Seonghwa noted, careful to keep his voice even and level, not accusing.
Wooyoung’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “He doesn’t want to kill. But he’s worked too hard to build this pack to watch it be torn down. Especially by some self-righteous beta who thinks he has a right to challenge us. He and Yeosang would kill for this pack....” His expression twitched, becoming more open, like he was asking Soenghwa to understand. “But they don’t want to.”
Wooyoung confirmed Seonghwa’s revelation: Hongjoong did not want to fight for fighting’s sake.
I’ve seen Yeosang in a fight. Under the right circumstances, he can beat me with no problem. But he’s never challenged me .
But Seonghwa tried to imagine that: gentle-faced Yeosang who had cradled Wooyoung and smiled gently at Hongjoong, being able to kill someone- being able to win against Hongjoong.
On the outside, Yeosang seemed more complacent than Wooyoung- a silent, stoic figure, that seemed more for emotional support than any real battle aid. Wooyoung was the one who cocked his hip and smirked dangerously, challenging and confident, even if it seemed like he didn’t really have the skill to back it up.
But then he thought about how Yeosang had approached Hongjoong. Cautiously, but without fear. With the presence and confidence of a person who knew that they could get out of a situation if it went south.
“Hongjoong and Yeosang built the pack together?” That would certainly explain his attachment to Yeosang.
But Wooyoung shook his head. “Yeosang and I didn’t come until after a good chunk of the current members. Hongjoong brought us home, and we just sort of… stayed.”
“Do you know why he and Yeosang became so close?”
Wooyoung pressed his lips together, eyes flickering away, clearly trying to decide whether or not to reveal something. He chewed his lip before he finally shrugged, staring into his glass. “Yeosang is nice. He and I were good at rounding up the pups. But he and Hongjoong-” Wooyoung hesitated, expression torn. “They made a good team. They could rely on each other.”
“And you had no problem with that?”
Wooyoung looked up, frowning. “With that?” he questioned, looking confused.
“Hongjoong and Yeosang being so close?” Seonghwa asked genuinely. “He was your friend, wasn’t he?”
“He still was,” Wooyoung said, as if he couldn’t fathom what Seonghwa’s point was. “Just because he helped Hongjoong didn’t mean I lost h-.”
Wooyoung’s confusion suddenly cleared.
“Oh,” he said flatly. “You mean… You meant, was I jealous because I thought Yeosang and Hongjoong were together.” His eyes darkened. “No. Yeosang and Hongjoong aren’t like that.”
He scanned Wooyoung’s face and found no trace of trying to convince himself of it. Just confidence in his answer. “How do you know ?” he questioned, frowning. “I’m not questioning your knowledge of your pack. But you can’t possibly know all the little details, so how do you-”
Wooyoung rolled his eyes exasperatedly, pulling down the collar of his shirt.
Seonghwa’s eyes widened at the clearly visible circle of teeth mark just at the curve of his shoulder.
A clear pattern of circles over circles, until they almost blended. Those were claiming marks. Ones that had been placed over and over, fresh ones laid over new ones.
A lot of claiming marks.
“You…” Seonghwa felt almost everything slam into place like the final wall of a house being shoved into the correct slot, clicking into place and shaking everything. “You… and Yeosang.” He felt like he couldn’t hear his own voice.
Wooyoung released his shirt, rolling his eyes. “Since before Hongjoong ever entered the picture,” Wooyoung informed him primly, almost smugly. “And seeing as Yeosang still has his dick attached- no. He and Hongjoong have never been like that.”
Seonghwa felt like someone had just hit him around the head. They were mates .
Not only that, Wooyoung was claimed . Seonghwa tried to think back, to see if he had noticed similar marks on Yeosang’s skin, but he had no doubt they were there. Any two wolves could bond and fuck, but it… it meant something to be claimed by each other.
And there were a lot of marks littering Wooyoung’s shoulder. It was something that Yeosang had done over and over, and no doubt Wooyoung had returned each in turn.
Oh.
So, then, that simmering in his veins… if it was jealousy, it had no place. Hongjoong felt nothing for Yeosang because Yeosang was already spoken for- long before he had met them. Spoken for and committed , it seemed. Hongjoong felt nothing for Yeosang.
Or at the very least… Hongjoong had never done anything to act upon those feelings that may or may not exist.
Seonghwa couldn’t remove the gentle smile out of his mind.
Stop it, he hissed to himself, wanting to smack his head. This is ridiculous. As if your greatest concern right now is whether or not your clearly dissatisfied mate would ever… ever look at someone else-
Not Yeosang. Hongjoong would never do that, not to someone spoken for like that. Not to Wooyoung and Yeosang.
Hongjoong would do anything if it meant protecting his pack.
That include giving up his happiness, settling with Seonghwa’s promise for protection for his pack. Hongjoong would never be unfaithful, would never risk doing something to jeopardize that protection-
Or, maybe, he wanted to hiss, he wouldn’t be unfaithful because you should actually fucking trust your mate you chose, and not just assume he wouldn’t look at another just to save him your wrath-
Seonghwa shook his head sharply. That was ridiculous, and he was being paranoid. He shoved all thoughts of Hongjoong from his mind before they had more of a chance to fester. He was just angry. Just off-kilter.
Because, yet again, he had been so wrong. About Yeosang, about Wooyoung, about both of them and Hongjoong- their relationship had been all mixed up in his head, and Wooyoung was only too happy to correct it, but it stung .
“How’s your cheek?” he asked, voice a little stiff, but a genuine question as he glanced at the slightly-red tinged bandage.
Wooyoung’s hand came up to touch it absently. “Fine,” he assured him. “Yeosang is good at patching us up. It only bled a little anyway. Hongjoong just likes to be dramatic about us getting hurt.” He shrugged, almost good naturedly.
Hongjoong was fiercely protective of his pack. He trusted Yeosang to take over for him, if only Yeosang would agree to it. But Hongjoong had said that no other wolf- alpha or otherwise- who tried to usurp him had ever succeeded.
How did all of that fall into place?
How the hell did red eyes lead into all of this?
“Did Hongjoong ever tell you how he became… so strong?” Seonghwa asked carefully, leaning forward on his elbows. “How did an omega gain enough support to become like that? To create a pack? How did he get that many to follow him?”
Where did he get those eyes?
Wooyoung didn’t look up from his plate, once more looking indecisive. He tapped his fingers against the table, humming low for a moment before sighing, dropping his head. Seonghwa held his breath.
“Well…” He muttered quietly. “To be honest-”
The door slammed open, bouncing off the wall loudly.
Both of them jumped, Seonghwa getting up quickly as someone he recognized vaguely from Hongjoong’s pack stumbled in, falling to the floor with his chest heaving.
“Yunho!” Wooyoung yelled, bolting from the table, knocking into it and sending his glass crashing to the ground. He rushed to the large beta’s side, pushing him off of his side and onto his back.
Yunho breathed heavily, but Seonghwa saw no wound on him, just ghostly pale skin and a pinched expression as he heaved in breath. “Yunho, what happened ?” Wooyoung demanded, body shaking a little, but his eyes as hard as flint, looking ready to hunt something down.
“ Hongjoong -” he panted, clutching a cramp in his side. He looked passed Wooyoung at Seonghwa, eyes fearful, begging. “Th-The east end of the city- He-”
Seonghwa didn’t wait for more instructions, bolting out of the door before his mind even had a chance to tell his body to move.
He ignored Wooyoung yelling after him, leaping down the steps and landing on the ground on all fours, his charcoal fur shining in the morning light as he raced down the street.
People yelped and parted ways for him, his claws practically tearing at the concrete, but Seonghwa didn’t pay them any mind.
What happened?
It repeated in his mind as a mantra as he tore through the city.
His mind tried to swirl through worst-case scenarios, each more gruesome than the last, but they kept being muted, interrupted by another echoing chant.
Get to Hongjoong.
Cutting through the square (ignoring people’s screams) he reached the east end in a matter of minutes, feet burning as he tore through the city.
It was deserted, the hour too early to be crowded, and Seonghwa stopped at the much smaller East courtyard in the middle of the buildings, scanning for Hongjoong quickly.
It was empty.
But his nose caught on before his eyes did, the scent of smoke barely able to picked up over the overwhelming stench of salt and warmth. Seonghwa’s chest heaved, his fur feeling too heavy and too hot as he turned towards a larger shop, following the breeze that carried the scent.
Racing down the street, he turned a corner, ready for whatever could be-
He froze.
Hongjoong was slumped against a building, his head lolled to the side, pale against his torn shirt. But it was when Seonghwa’s eyes landed on the growing pool around his leg that he felt his stomach lurch dangerously, eyes wide and unseeing.
Hongjoong’s leg was shredded, his light blue jeans torn and his boot in tatters. His hands were bloodied where they rested limp against it- from trying to hold the blood in. On his other leg was a very clear bite mark around his calf where it looked like someone had tried to drag him.
Seonghwa stumbled forward, paw catching on a crack in the sidewalk for a moment. He caught himself, still staring as he paused beside Hongjoong, a cold fear settling in his bones.
He had never felt that sort of fear before. And honestly, it almost scared him more than the sight of Hongjoong’s rapidly paling face.
Gently, fearfully, he pressed his nose to his clammy neck, the scent of smoke hidden almost completely by salty blood.
Hongjoong twitched, and he could feel a soft heartbeat there.
His head spun with relief, but he didn’t move. Hongjoong was alive, for now.
Seonghwa fought down the snarl in his throat, afraid of disturbing him.
Who ?
Seonghwa didn’t tell the anger to rise. But it still choked him, vision a deeper red than the blood still oozing from Hongjoong’s leg. Something inherent and reactionary in it, despite… despite everything he and Hongjoong had been and done.
There was no way the man from earlier would be capable of this. No one among Seonghwa’s pack would have dared. Would they? No. Not something so barbaric as this. Not to his mate. So who-
Questions for later, he decided coldly, resolution steeling.
Seonghwa crouched down, nosing gently against Hongjoong’s neck, so very fucking careful. The wet press of his nose made Hongjoong twitch again, a little harder, his shoulder shifting away from the sensation.
The movement shifted his leg slightly, and Hongjoong cried out violently, body twisting in a desperate attempt to get away from the pain, which only moved him more.
His hands leapt to Seonghwa’s coat, grabbing onto his fur painfully as he twisted it in pain, pressing his clammy face into Seonghwa’s fur with a bit-off cry. He tried to keep still, to stop the movement of his leg, breathing harshly through his nose, tense and ready to snap like a wire, teeth grinding.
Seonghwa froze in fear and compliance as Hongjoong panted against his neck, voice tighter than his muscles.
“ Seonghwa ,” he grit out, his fingers shaking around his fur. “Seonghwa, they- Exo- They were here- ” he hissed, a pained cry sticking in his throat as he practically wrung Seonghwa’s fur between his hands. Seonghwa barely felt it. “ My pack ,” he demanded through gritted teeth, breathing through gravel. “Send someone- Someone has to check on them. They can’t-” he broke off, breathing through his teeth as the pain tried to force him back under.
Seonghwa was still trying to grasp what Hongjoong was hissing.
Exo? Here in the city? That was impossible, that couldn’t- His eyes trailed to Hongjoong’s leg that still leaked blood sluggishly. He snarled deeply at the sight.
“Please,” Hongjoong slurred desperately. “ Please- Seonghwa- Send-”
As concerning as that was, Hongjoong’s condition was priority. There was too much blood. Hongjoong would never be able to move himself on his own.
Silently apologizing, Seonghwa made one move, sliding along Hongjoong’s abdomen and lifting, forcing Hongjoong’s body onto his back, straddling like a steed.
Hongjoong practically screamed, his nails digging passed his fur and into his skin painfully before going slack as he slumped against his back, unconscious again.
“I’m sorry .”
Seonghwa hurried along the street as quickly as he could without losing Hongjoong, leaving drops of blood behind him. He could feel Hongjoong’s labored breathing against his fur, but he couldn’t shake the chill in his heart with each moment Hongjoong remained deathly still.
He was almost to Eden’s when a wolf with amber fur leapt from an alley. Seonghwa almost attacked, thinking it an Exo wolf, a snarl in his throat.
“Hongjoong!”
Yeosang.
Seonghwa didn’t stop, continuing his frantic race, but Yeosang’s wolf fell in step beside him, red eyes burning beside a small white smudge near them. He nosed gently at Hongjoong’s side, a rumble in his chest.
“ What happened?” He demanded, voice darker than Seonghwa had ever heard.
Suddenly, it was hard to remember that soft face and gentle smile. Seonghwa wanted to ask the same question, since, last he had heard, Hongjoong was supposed to be with Yeosang .
“Exo ,” Seonghwa said simply, snarling at the people who stood in their way, watching them scramble from his path. “ I’m taking him to our healer.”
He spared Yeosang a glance and found him staring resolutely at Hongjoong. Even in wolf form, his twisted expression was visible. His eyes were already a darker red than Hongjoong’s blood dripping behind them.
“Go to your pack,” Seonghwa ordered. “ Hongjoong wants someone there to check on them. I’ll send reinforcements as soon as I get him to the healer, understand?”
Yeosang growled in his throat, clearly displeased with the prospect of leaving him, and Seonghwa wondered if he could take Yeosang in a fight if he decided to resist. But Yeosang was apparently more in control than that. The anger died, and he spared one last glance at Hongjoong.
“Watch over the others here,” Yeosang warned. “ If Exo is able to get in here, they’ll go for our pack first.”
Seonghwa simply inclined his head before Yeosang leapt off in another direction, becoming an auburn blur before disappearing.
Seonghwa watched him for a moment. Maybe he did have feelings for Hongjoong. But Seonghwa could tell, even if he did, they were something completely different than he could ever suspect.
Seonghwa could feel Hongjoong’s blood soaking his fur by the time he reached Eden’s.
Either word or scent must have traveled fast because Eden was already waiting outside for him, expression going sour at the sight of Hongjoong. “Bring him inside,” he ordered, opening the door as Seonghwa squeezed through.
A cot was waiting for him, Eden’s mouth pressing into a thin line as he helped move Hongjoong off his back and onto the bed. Hongjoong remained unconscious, head lolling to the side as Eden carefully arranged his injured legs.
His was too pale, turning a sickening ash.
“I’ll take care of it,” Eden promised, eyes scanning Hongjoong intently. “Someone from his pack- the one attacked yesterday- came and warned me.”
Seonghwa took a moment to stare at Hongjoong, immobile and his lax expression smeared with blood, rather than anger. He was pale, still losing blood, but Seonghwa forced himself to turn away, leaving Eden to do his work.
He needed to talk with Yunho and Wooyoung. He needed to round up people to go help with Hongjoong’s pack. They had left maybe a dozen of their own there from the exchange, but Seonghwa knew against a pack the size of Exo, they’d need help. Maybe even more than Seonghwa’s pack could provide on such short notice.
They had thought they would see a build up- a sequence of events to indicate that Suho was planning a move. Not a single action of war without a hope of knowing when the next attack would strike. Seonghwa’s people weren’t ready for a sudden frontal assault.
Seonghwa prayed that Yeosang was as good at protecting as Hongjoong had said. It didn’t matter how he felt about leading, he was the second in command and the leader was out of commission.
He would have to step up.
~~~~~~~~
I wonder if your pack will roll over and die as easily as you?
Hongjoong woke up, tried to rapidly sit up, and immediately regretted it.
He clutched at his leg, finding it wrapped in thick bandaging and mostly numb. He grit his teeth against the thousands of pin-pricks of pain. “Suho, you bitch ,” he spat, shame running through him that he forced into anger. “I’ll tear your stomach out myself .”
“Well, it’s good to see you have some fire.”
Hongjoong looked up sharply, seeing a man in healer’s garb standing in the doorway of the room. “My name is Eden,” he said, coming closer. “Do you remember how you got here?”
Hongjoong sneered, eyes flashing. “ Yes , I do,” he bit out, grabbing his leg and swinging it over the edge of the bed, teeth gritting to keep the pain silenced. “That bastard Suho came into another’s territory and -” He cut off, words catching on the pain in his throat.
Eden stepped over swiftly, trying to push him back down. “Don’t stand, you’re still-”
Hongjoong pushed him away. And though Eden stepped back, Hongjoong was sure he was humoring him, eyes watching him with an eerie calmness.
Hongjoong wasn’t really interested in analyzing it. Because Suho was a bitch .
“Yeosang,” he managed, getting to his feet without passing out even as his leg begged him to sit. “Where is he?”
Eden stood by, not trying to stop Hongjoong again. “Seonghwa sent him to check on your pack along with a number of our own pack,” he explained calmly. “He’ll be here soon, so-”
“ What are you doing ?”
Hongjoong looked up (ignoring how his head spun), and saw Seonghwa standing in the doorway, glaring at him, the closest thing to true anger Hongjoong had seen in his eyes. “You just had half your leg shredded . Your arteries are a mess . Sit down.”
“Where’s Yunho?” he demanded, still holding onto the wall and moving forward.
His pack.
His pack .
“Did Yeosang make it to-”
Seonghwa grabbed his arm firmly, making him pause, but Hongjoong’s eyes burned a fiery red as his head snapped to look at him. Seonghwa was surprised enough to release him, but Hongjoong grabbed his wrist hard (or as hard as his weakened state allowed, which was not much).
“My pack is under threat,” he hissed, using some of the pain to darken his voice. “You can either help me, or get out of my way before I tear you apart for trying to stop me .”
Seonghwa glared at him, expression stony as Hongjoong threw his hand down, grabbing the wall again, teeth grinding together.
“What’s your plan, Hongjoong?” Seonghwa demanded roughly. “You’re not well enough to travel back there. You’d pass out along the way! You can barely walk without the wall to aid you.”
Hongjoong had planned on doing exactly that.
“I’m going back to the house,” he explained, limping towards the door.
One of the cots got in his way, and he hissed, shifting to using its mattress to help him hobble along. “I’m checking on my pack here,” he gritted. “And then I’m going back to the Southern territory. And I’m going to rip apart anyone there who’s threatened my pack.”
Hongjoong made it to the wall again, stumbling into it as he caught himself, the room spinning a little. He hauled himself up by his nails.
“You can’t ,” Seonghwa pressed, storming after him, hand wrapping around his arm as Hongjoong stumbled again, keeping him from hitting the wall. “You can barely walk- ”
“Then I’ll crawl if I have to!” Hongjoong snapped, tearing his arm from Seonghwa’s grasp and snatching the sleeve of his shirt, crushing it in his grip. “Do you not understand ?” he spat, drawing Seonghwa closer with what strength he had. “What Suho and his pack will do ? What they’re capable of ? What they’ve done to us before ?” Hongjoong released him, already pushing him aside. “I’m not going through that again.”
Hongjoong had tunnel vision: only his pack, and anything else needed to get out of his way.
Seonghwa caught his arm again, and when Hongjoong whipped around, arm raised to strike him, he caught that one too, watching him calmly. “I’m coming with you,” he said quietly. “You’ll never make it there on your own.”
Hongjoong’s lip curled, snarling, dark and deep and threatening as he ripped his arms free of Seonghwa’s hold. For a moment, Seonghwa waited for Hongjoong to tell him to fuck off, but he simply breathed heavily through his teeth, scanning Seonghwa face before turning away sharply.
“ Fine ,” he breathed. “Then let’s go.” He made to walk from the room with a heavy limp as he released the wall, making Seonghwa wince with each press of his injured leg. Eden was good, but he wasn’t a miracle worker.
“Hongjoong.”
He paused, turning back to him with eyes burning with rage and impatience. But, Seonghwa realized suddenly, not rage at him for once.
At Suho. At Exo.
He pressed his lips together, eyes trailing his ashen face. “Don’t kill yourself trying to get there. You’ll be of no use to anyone if you’re unconscious. Your pack needs you.”
Hongjoong’s expression softened almost in regret for a moment before it returned to stone. “If I don’t get there fast enough, me and them are as good as dead anyway. Suho will-”
Hongjoong shook his head, continuing his trek to the door.
Seonghwa could understand, even respect, that sort of dedication. Unfortunately, he would not let himself stand by a second time.
He sighed at the stubborn willpower he had apparently only seen a fraction of, crouching and transforming into his sleek black wolf as he walked beside Hongjoong, touching his nose to his hand.
Hongjoong jumped, looking down and glancing him over. His eyes were…curious. As if he hadn’t expected something like this. But his lips were stiff. “I’m not getting on you,” he said, pressing on another step. “We need speed.”
Seonghwa moved forward and cut him off, lowering himself to the ground, staring with bright red eyes that promised… promised something.
Even Seonghwa didn’t know what.
Hongjoong looked ready to protest again, but his mouth stayed open, scanning along Seonghwa’s form. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes, frustrated. He knew that if they needed speed, Hongjoong couldn’t rely on his own strength.
“Fine,” he breathed, limping forward and leaning heavily on Seonghwa, hands braced on the curve of his back.
Seonghwa breathed a quiet sigh of relief, grateful and desperate to get Hongjoong to stop abusing his leg.
Hongjoong’s hands twisted tightly in his sleek fur as he balanced on his bad leg for a moment to swing his good leg over quickly, half-falling, almost collapsing onto Seonghwa’s back, laying flat as he breathed harshly into his fur, finally out of strength.
Seonghwa spared one more glance at Eden, who simply waved him on. “I’ll keep things from burning down here,” he promised. “Go do what you promised when you bonded with him.”
Right…
This was the entire reason Hongjoong was here. The entire reason the both of them had ever met each other: Seonghwa providing the protection Hongjoong’s pack couldn’t. Seonghwa protecting Hongjoong’s pack.
Their pack.
Maybe. One day.
Seonghwa ran quickly, but was careful not to land too heavily, listening to each hitch in Hongjoong’s breath as if it were another knife added to his chest. He tried to imagine the tight fists in his fur were not of pain, but of anger. Of a fury that Seonghwa had seen first hand, that Seonghwa respected and begged for Hongjoong to keep going.
Fury was better than pain anyday.
Seonghwa had dealt with Hongjoong bathed in anger, but he was finding it difficult to cope well with pain.
~~~~~~~~
The distance between the territories was not large- less than half a day’s run for a fit wolf- but with his leg, it would have taken days for Hongjoong to run it. He clung to Seonghwa’s back, focusing all his pitiful energy on healing his leg.
Seonghwa tired but did not slow, using each burst of his legs to carry into the momentum of his next stride.
They’d had no word of an attack on Hongjoong’s pack, yet. No word of peace, either.
“I’m coming,” Seonghwa heard Hongjoong whisper into his fur, sure his words were lost in the wind. “I’m coming, I promise.”
Seonghwa pushed a little faster.
His own feelings, reactions, thoughts aside- Hongjoong needed to be with his pack.
Their own fights, anger, confusion aside- Hongjoong was his mate, and he needed Seonghwa at this moment, and Seonghwa would not freeze again.
He would not.
“I think…” Hongjoong’s fingers loosened on Seonghwa’s fur, making him fear he would fall off at their current speed. “I think I can use my leg… but I’m… I’m a little…”
His forehead pressed into Seonghwa’s fur, and even through the thicket of it, he could feel the heat of his skin.
Stupid , he wanted to snarl. Heal your leg just to make yourself sick?
Perhaps a fever would be easier to fight with than a bum leg, but still-
Hongjoong continued to rest against his fur, fingers trying to grip but they were dangerously weak.
Just rest for now.
His pack would have something for the fever. Everything would work out. Everything would be okay. It was just a fever from healing so fast.
They reached the hills just as the sun had begun to dip towards evening, Seonghwa never resting from his steady bounds, coming to the crest of the last hill.
In the very distance, he could see the miniscule cropping of Hongjoong’s territory. He saw smoke in the sky.
Were those their fires or not?
Seonghwa tore through the last stretch of flatland, tearing grass and dirt behind him as he sprinted along the treeline.
Hongjoong’s nose crinkled as he suddenly sat up slightly, picking up a familiar scent. He barely registered the scent before Seonghwa froze, crouching his forelegs in a way that forced Hongjoong off his back, sending him tumbling through the tall grass.
No sooner than the other had fallen, Seonghwa clawed at the grass to turn, leaping into the air to meet another wolf that had been running for them from the nearby woods.
A wolf that was a complete fiery amber, save for white patches on his nose and ears.
“ Stop !”
By whatever miracles were granted Hongjoong, Seonghwa paused where he had the wolf pinned to the ground, the wolf not struggling, simply laying limp, chest heaving.
Seonghwa turned, silently demanding to know what Hongjoong was thinking.
“He’s not an enemy,” Hongjoong grit out, clutching his leg that had finally caught up to the fact he had just been thrown to the ground.
Seonghwa turned back to the wolf who had transformed back into a short man with bright eyes and short black hair, staring up at Seonghwa with a clearly surrendering gaze.
“Minseok,” Hongjoong breathed, relief flooding him. “Let him up,” he ordered, forcing his aching legs beneath himself, trying to stand.
Seonghwa stepped away cautiously, standing closer to Hongjoong, slightly in front of him, transforming back as Minseok sat up, brushing grass from his hair. “He’s part of Exo,” Seonghwa spat, turning to Hongjoong like he was insane.
“He helps us,” Hongjoong clarified, finally getting to his feet. Seonghwa reached out to steady him, but Hongjoong waved his hands away, swaying anyway. “He’s the reason we haven’t been wiped out yet.”
Minseok’s usually bright face twisted as he looked at Hongjoong’s bandaged legs. “I tried,” he panted, clearly exhausted and winded. “I tried to get to you in time, but they-” He choked. “They found Jongdae coming to warn the Southern Pack.”
Hongjoong’s blood froze in his veins as he limped towards Minseok, eyes wide with horror. “They have him?”
He shook his head as Seonghwa watched on in confusion. “He-He got away,” he assured him. “He made it back here, but he… he’s bad.”
Hongjoong’s fear twisted into an attempt at anger as he reached Minseok, grabbing his arm to steady himself.
“Take me to him.” He turned to Seonghwa. “Follow us.”
Minseok transformed and Hongjoong climbed onto his back, still wincing, but not paying attention to whether Seonghwa followed or not.
Seonghwa stood for a moment, alone in that field, jaw tight as he turned, bounding after the two of them.
Minseok ran with Hongjoong, coming into the center of the huts where Hongjoong saw the pack- his pack- milling around, expressions frightened. The older members were comforting some of the younger who were shaking with fear. A couple of the huts and tents were smouldering, but no fire actually burned. A few members of Seonghwa’s pack walked around, their eyes dark and hard.
Hongjoong stared at them as they passed through, wondering how this could have happened while he was gone, his heart sinking low into his stomach.
Minseok brought him directly to the healer’s hut, staying beside him to help him walk, but Hongjoong simply waved him off, limping on his own. He glanced behind himself and saw Seonghwa following at a distance, dark fur dusted with dirt and twigs from the journey.
The hut itself was familiar, but the sight inside was not.
Jongdae was inside, laying on a cot with bandages covering most of his arms and legs. His shirt was removed, his ribs and chest heavily wrapped, eyes squeezed shut as each breath seemed to cause him pain.
There were two people gathered beside his bed.
San looked up before he even fully entered, standing fast enough his chair hit the ground, his eyes wide as he ran over, eyes ghosting over his legs.
“ Hongjoong ,” he burst in relief, rushing forward and hugging him tightly, but careful of his injuries. “I’m sorry,” he muttered into his chest. “I should have made Jongdae meet at a different place. We- We knew they had been suspecting, but I didn’t think-”
Hongjoong pet the back of his head as San shook his head. “San-”
“You- Yeosang came back and said you were hurt, and we didn’t- we didn’t know what to do-” He broke off, sucking in a sharp breath. “I’m sorry, we messed everything up.”
“No,” Hongjoong reprimanded firmly, looking passed him to Jongho who was staring at his bandages with eyes burning red. Hongjoong gestured for him to come closer. He walked stiffly, fists at his side as he allowed Hongjoong to pull him into the embrace. “You both did exactly as I asked. The pack is still here, safe. No one was hurt-”
“Except Jongdae,” Jongho fought, anger at himself and others burning quietly.
“Jongdae knew the consequences of his actions,” Hongjoong comforted. “And he was prepared for those. He was able to warn you. You kept the pack safe.”
“For like, a couple weeks,” San muttered, shaking his head as he pulled away.
“Enough,” Hongjoong said sternly, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “Both of you did as I asked. I’m proud.” He squeezed their shoulders, allowing them a moment to exist in that comfort before exchanging uncertain glances as he looked to Jongdae. “Is he awake?”
San nodded gravely. “Jungwoo says we can’t risk giving him anything more to put him under.”
Hongjoong released the two boys, walking to the cot and sitting down beside it. “You’ve made quite a mess, haven’t you?” he said, voice heavy.
Jongdae forced his eyes open, giving his familiar cocky smile that was tainted with pain. “At least he didn’t mess up my face, right?”
Hongjoong smirked, reaching out and grabbing his hand firmly. “Thank you.”
Jongdae’s grin faded as he stared at the ceiling. “There’s more coming,” Jongdae told him, voice tight. “Suho knows you united with Seonghwa’s pack. He knew that you were gone. He figured your pack would be weak.” He tossed him a pained smile. “He was wrong. Especially once Yeosang showed up in the middle. Suho only sent a couple groups. Your pack basically scared them off once they got the upper hand.”
Hongjoong was only allowed a brief flicker of relief.
“I was on my way to warn you of Suho’s plan to attack you specifically,” Minseok explained, coming to sit beside him. “But I met Yeosang halfway and found out I was too late.”
Hongjoong stared at the two of them, enemies at first, who had come to him with a deal: they help Hongjoong’s pack, and he helps them tear down their toxic one.
“How did he even get you alone?” Minseok demanded, running a hand through his hair agitatedly. “How did he get that much an upper hand?”
Hongjoong sighed quietly, stomach churning violently, making his head spin a little. He was silent for a moment as he touched his bandages in annoyance.
“I checked in with Yeosang… and went on a walk with Yunho,” he said, tongue like ash. “Just to… just to catch up on everything.” His fingers curled into a tight fist. "We were on our way back when Suho attacked. He was only interested in me, so I had Yunho run to get help. I was taken by surprise.” His eyes were hard as flint.
“So what’s the plan now?”
All three of them looked at Seonghwa standing in the doorway, no longer in wolf form.
San and Jongho jumped, apparently not having seen him come in, and Jongho’s eyes blazed red. “ You !” he snapped, storming towards him. “You were supposed to look out for him!” San grabbed his arm, yanking him back. “He was barely with you a few weeks! How could let him get hurt like this?”
“Jongho!” San fought, physically struggling to hold him back. “It’s not his fault! Suho still would have attacked-”
“He should have been there with him!” Jongho snapped, and Hongjoong saw very distinctly the wetness gathering in his eyes. “He probably just left him because he’s an omega!”
“Jongho.”
All of San’s shouting was useless when Hongjoong’s quiet voice broke through. He turned to see Hongjoong staring at him sternly.
“That’s enough,” he said calmly, quietly. “Seonghwa would not let me or anyone else be hurt just because of my wolf. I snuck out of the house before he was even awake. There was no way for him to know.” Jongho didn’t look convinced, but Hongjonong nodded towards the door. “Now, you and San go and meet with Yeosang. See what needs to be done.”
Jongho looked ready to argue, but at Hongjoong’s small raised eyebrow, he turned away, pulling his arm free of San and storming out, San following him with a quick glance back at Jongdae and Minseok.
Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa, and though his expression was still stony, he could see the underlying discomfort at Jongho’s accusations. Interesting. The alpha shifted slightly, as if standing somewhere for too long.
“Our next move is clear,” he began, gaining Seonghwa’s attention again. “Suho thinks we’re weak now. He thinks now is the time to strike, but we are going to be ready.”
“What about his pack?” Minseok asked, jerking his head towards Seonghwa. “If Suho went into his territory before, his pack could be in danger.”
Hongjoong shook his head sternly. “No. Suho’s only target is me and my pack. The only reason he went into Seonghwa’s territory was because he knew that’s where I’d be. He came, attacked, and left without harming another person. Our only concern is going to be here.”
Hongjoong glanced over, waiting to see if Seonghwa would challenge the claim, but he didn’t respond, simply inclining his head.
“So, what?” Jongdae asked, tilting his head to see. “We know that he’s planning another attack, but we don’t know when .”
Hongjoong nodded, crossing his arms. “It’s going to be soon. He launched one attack, he isn’t going to want to wait for us to get our bearings. Within a couple of days, if he’s feeling cocky.” His eyes darkened. “But since he is, undeniably, planning more attacks, this means that the threat is no longer potential.” His heart was heavy. “He’s just started a war.”
Seonghwa stepped forward. “So, what are you going to do?” he questioned darkly.
Hongjoong scanned the room, eyes blazing red. “ We are going to fight.”
~~~~~~~~
The night was quiet.
Quiet enough that you could hear the stream that created a line through the woods that separated the Southern Pack from the path to Exo.
Seonghwa had been given a hut with a couple of his own pack members, but while they had been able to fall asleep, Seonghwa stared at the ceiling until the blood in his veins wouldn’t let him sit still any longer.
He got up quietly, creeping from the tent and scanning the area. All tents were dark and silent. Save one.
He pushed the door open to the healer’s hut carefully and found a single candle lit, illuminating Hongjoong sitting at Jongdae’s bedside.
The alpha was asleep, Minseok sleeping on a mat in the corner, but Hongjoong’s eyes were open and raw as he rested his chin on his hands, staring at Jongdae like he held all the answers he needed.
Which were a lot.
Hongjoong’s nose twitch and he turned to him, eyes falling on the other standing in the doorway, not quite entering. For once, Hongjoong’s expression didn’t harden as he gazed at him.
Seongwha waited for the demand for him to return back to his tent, but Hongjoong’s gaze only lowered to the ground before turning back to Jongdae, muted and almost… defeated. It was the face of a man who had been along with his thoughts for too long.
Seonghwa approached slowly, tense and anticipating.
He paused behind Hongjoong who didn’t turn back to him. “You should sleep,” Seonghwa murmured, careful not to wake the injured alpha. “You won’t do anyone any good if you’re dead on your feet.” It came out flatter than he intended. Hongjoong didn’t respond, still staring. “Hongjoong,” Seonghwa coaxed, touching his shoulder gently. “You need sleep.”
“I need a plan,” Hongjoong murmured against his fingers, still staring into the nothing. “Suho isn’t going to wait long, and we can’t win against him in a flat out battle. I need a way to get to him, to convince his pack to turn on him, something to-” He shook his head, shoulders heavy in a way Seonghwa hadn’t seen, even among all the time at his pack.
He ran a hand through his hair, irritated and off balance. Almost hopeless.
“We’re all meeting in the morning,” Seonghwa assured him, hand still not removed from his shoulder. He felt Hongjoong tense, shoulders bunching. “Between all of us, we’ll think of something,” he promised. “Suho’s pack may be large, but they’re divided. Your pack and mine will wipe them out. You yourself could take any one of them in a fight,” he encouraged, but his words had the opposite intended effect.
Hongjoong’s fingers tightened on each other, knuckles white as he fell very… very still.
Seonghwa frowned, slowly removing his hand from Hongjoong who swallowed audibly, his expression pinching.
“I’m going to hand command of the pack to Yeosang,” he whispered.
Seonghwa couldn’t quite help- nor anticipate- the shock that coursed through him like a lightning strike. He was left reeling as Hongjoong simply stared on.
“You’re what ?” he demanded, voice hissing out in disbelief.
Somehow… that admission was the thing that made Seonghwa feel like his feet were slipping through sand. Hongjoong… the one thing he had known… the one thing he had fundamentally understood about him-
“Why?” he demanded, stepping around to stare at Hongjoong’s perfectly impassive face. “You said- Your pack needs you now more than ever! How could you just hand over command on the brink of the most important battle?”
Seonghwa felt off kilter. And he felt like he shouldn’t, given how little he actually knew about Hongjoong’s internal workings, but he was .
Hongjoong wanted to give up command?
Seonghwa couldn’t deny that he was sure Yeosang was strong enough, but why would Hongjoong- the same person who gave himself up to a life of misery for his pack, who fought and clawed and threatened for his pack- give up right before the battle?
And Seonghwa watched, with his own eyes, as Hongjoong’s impassive mask shook and then cracked and then broke.
His eyes shattered, his mouth pressing together as something so close to fear took over his expression that he was still trying to control. He shook his head slowly, resolutely not looking at Seonghwa.
“I can’t do it,” he confessed in a hoarse, shaking whisper, hands falling to the cot and grabbing at the sheets, crushing them. “I can’t lead them. I can’t trust myself…”
This entire time… Seonghwa gone on a journey of ignoring Hongjoong and then understanding Hongjoong and then even respecting Hongjoong.
But even through it all, he didn’t think Hongjoong ever noticed that Seonghwa had moved passed ignoring. Seonghwa… he couldn’t find a way to show it. He and Hongjoong hadn’t been able to talk about everything, had never cleared the air between them.
They simply existed in a stasis- Hongjoong convinced that Seonghwa wanted nothing to do with him and Seonghwa struggling to find the strength to put his pride aside and just say something .
Seonghwa had never thought Hongjoong would need reassurance. Hongjoong existed at the top of his own world and he mowed down anyone who tried to disturb it.
But here he was… almost shaking, hopeless, planning on backing down… and for what ?
Seonghwa’s hand found his shoulder again, squeezing lightly.
Pride had no place here. Not among these people.
“Hongjoong… you are an amazing fighter,” he assured him quietly. “Your leg will heal in time for a fight,” Seonghwa pressed, trying to guide his shoulder to make him look at him. “Hongjoong, what are you thinking?” He tried to meet his eyes, but Hongjoong turned his head away quickly. “How could you just walk away ?”
Hongjoong didn’t react to the accusation. He didn’t snap at Seonghwa or tell him he didn’t know anything. He didn’t glare or snarl or anything…
He just squeezed his eyes shut tight enough to hurt, body tensed and ready to snap like a wire, and Seonghwa realized he was shaking. “I can’t face him again,” he whispered, shaking his head hard. “I can’t- I can’t trust myself to be able to fight him.”
“Who?” Seonghwa demanded, loosening his grip on him, expression falling in disbelief. “Suho? He doesn’t have any real power. In terms of fighting, he’s weaker than your youngest pups.” Hongjoong shook his head slowly, continuously. “He’s attacked your pack , he attacked you- ”
Seonghwa was… horrified by the complacency on Hongjoong’s tongue. Horrified because… if there was one thing he knew Hongjoong was, it was determined. Merciless. And seeing the omega like this… Acting like Seonghwa had never imagined he could ever see him…
“You have to make him pay,” he pressed. “What happened to the man who would do anything to protect his pack? You would almost kill a wolf for scratching one of your own, but when your entire pack is threatened to be wiped out, you want to back away ?”
Once again, Hongjoong didn’t rise to the taunt. And Seonghwa’s chest hurt as Hongjoong almost seemed immune to the pushes.
As if it didn’t matter.
As if he had already given up.
Hongjoong’s breaths shook. This wasn’t the wolf that Seonghwa had seen before.
“You don’t know,” he said shakily, almost chuckling to himself as he opened dull eyes. “You don’t understand why Exo wants my pack gone so badly…”
Finally, he looked at him, and Seonghwa wished he hadn’t.
Hongjoong had no business looking defeated.
Hongjoong should never look so broken.
Seonghwa felt like someone was slowly pushing him over a cliff edge. “What are you talking about?” he demanded quietly.
“It wasn’t because I was surprised that Suho got the upper hand,” Hongjoong whispered, turning his head away again, as if he couldn’t stand to look at Seonghwa. “I wasn’t with Yunho- he found me . I went off after talking with Yeosang to cool my head…”
Crickets chirped loudly outside the tent, but Seonghwa didn’t even hear them.
“Suho attacked.” He breathed out a humorless laugh. “And I was so afraid… I froze up. He was dragging me off when Yunho found us and Suho ran off.” His lips quivered, and Seonghwa suddenly begged that he wouldn’t cry. “I was so… so fucking scared , I just let him maul me. I couldn’t… I couldn’t make myself move .”
He said it so helplessly. So filled with acceptance, as if there was nothing else he could have done.
Seonghwa stared at him with shaking eyes, sitting down beside him in the other chair, everything in him screaming that this was wrong, it was all wrong-
Hongjoong was fiery. He was hard headed and full of too much to ever be contained, so why did it feel like Seonghwa was staring at a husk?
“Why?” he hissed, chest twisting tighter and tighter. “You’re-” he gestured to him. “You’re you, Hongjoong. You have so much power and fire- how could a low life like Suho make you freeze up?”
Seonghwa didn’t mean to accuse, but Hongjoong finally flinched at his tone.
Hongjoong hadn’t even blinked before leaping into action before. He never hesitated, he never-
“You don’t know what happened before this pack was formed,” Hongjoong whispered, like someone might hear. “What I went through… The things that turned me into this .” He gestured to himself, disgusted, face twisting. “This… freak of nature. This omega with a god complex that can’t stand the thought of being so weak again…” His fists clenched, eyes shaking. “But is still scared to death of the one person I vowed never to give the satisfaction.”
I’m not going to present myself as some weakling. I spent too much of my life being one, I am not lying about a strength I lost so much to get!
None of it made sense. Seonghwa didn’t know Hongjoong. He knew nothing about him. But everything just seemed so wrong.
Seonghwa didn’t care about Hongjoong. He never had. He had treated him with the worst type of contempt, and he wondered if he even had a right to scold Hongjoong like this- to act as if he suddenly cared- but Seonghwa needed to know why.
An innate push inside of him demanded that he understand.
“Why?” Seonghwa pressed, grabbing Hongjoong’s hand that sent tremors up his spine (an instinctive, reactionary action). “Why are you so afraid of Suho? He’s- He’s a bully. He’s not someone with real power, he’s just-” He was at a loss for words.
Hongjoong’s hand twitched in his, and Seonghwa could only watch, the scent of rain and smoke curling around them, tinged sour with fear.
Hongjoong swallowed, looking ill, eyes open and cloudy.
“My father was the head alpha of my old pack. And he wanted strong, alpha children.” He swallowed bitterly, like a sour taste sat on his tongue. “The weak little runt omega he got was unacceptable, and they chased me out.”
A story startling similar to Wooyoung’s. But Hongjoong didn’t seem to have a Yeosang to follow him.
“It was anger that saved me,” he murmured, voice dark. His hand flexed in Seonghwa’s. “A rage inside of me that demanded I live. Just to prove him wrong. And it was hell, Seonghwa,” he hissed. “Surviving on your own is hell, but I fucking did it .” And for a moment the darkness cleared into fiery anger that faded as soon as it came. “I was just strong enough to make. Just enough to survive.” His free hand formed a painful fist. “Exo found me wandering into their territory.”
What? Seonghwa wanted to demand. What did they do to you? How did they break you? What did they do that followed you for so fucking long?
What secrets had Hongjoong kept locked away, bitter and raw as Seonghwa poked and prodded mercilessly?
“A little, lone omega found wandering in the woods?” Hongjoong shook his head. “I could survive for myself, but fighting off a dozen wolves wasn’t something I could do. Suho kept me at their camp, promising I would be emergency food store for the winter. Provided I last that long.”
He looked up at Seonghwa with a burst of fiery hatred in his damp eyes. “Have you ever been put into a fight ring?” he demanded.
Seonghwa shook his head numbly, horror and something icy creeping through his veins.
“ Everyday ,” Hongjoong hissed. “Another fight, another wolf, until one of us stopped getting back up.” Seonghwa was afraid Hongjoong was going to break skin with his fist clenched so tightly. “I was not going to die their prisoner,” he spat. “I was not going to die just to be their sport . I refused .”
There was a flicker of that familiar Hongjoong, fueled by his past and desires. But too soon, he dimmed, anger still simmering, but not burning through his eyes.
Like watching a flame flicker before being snuffed out to burning coals.
“At first, it was wolves they captured from other packs… Exo found it good fun to watch their prisoners fight.”
Seonghwa could see the image so clearly in his mind, but he desperately didn’t want to. He had seen what the aftermath of fight rings would look like- winner and loser alike- and part of him didn’t know if he could handle imagining Hongjoong looking like that, day after day.
“But I was desperate to survive. And I kept winning.” Hongjoong’s lips twitched with a dark humor. “That little bitch of an omega fucking won. Then, he used members of his own pack, thinking it would be good sport for them. But I kept winning . The weak little omega was wiping out his pack members. And Suho’s pride didn’t like that. He...” Hongjoong’s hand ghosted over his upper arm, as if remembering some phantom pain. “Suho…doesn’t care about fair fights.”
Hongjoong swallowed, looking a little pale, eyes too far away. All of him looking too small, too scared. “There were too many of them. They were… they were going to kill me.” He said it so calmly. “I was half-dead already at that point. What did I have to lose?” He looked up at Seonghwa. “So I ran.”
Hongjoon’s eyes brushed over Jongdae, glancing to Minseok who was still sound asleep. “Minseok and Jongdae were the ones who caught me. We brokered a deal. They let me go.” His expression pinched. “I went as far as I could, and I gathered my own pack. Until one day… after I brought in strays and pups like San and Jongho. I was out in the woods one day. Suho found me.”
Hongjoong shuddered, pulling his arms in, away from Seonghwa, as if protecting himself from something. “Suho’s worst attacks on me were never physical ,” he hissed. “All the days I was there, it was endless . The taunts and threats, the promises that he swore he would keep, each more fucked up than the day before-”
Hongjoong’s voice failed for a moment, but he didn’t even look embarrassed, just pausing for a moment before speaking, voice quieter.
“The things… the things he had threatened to do to me… to my pack… ” He shook his head. “Seeing him then…just like today, I froze.” Helpless. “And he…he was going to kill me. The bitch omega that got away.” His eyes were hollow. “Long before he ever touched me, Suho had me powerless because it doesn’t matter how strong I amd, how fast I am- In my head I’m still just a stray omega trying to survive, and Suho knows it .”
But he wasn’t, Seonghwa wanted to say, but his tongue wouldn’t move. He wasn’t, he was strong, he was fiery, and you couldn’t fake that just on the outside, not the way that Hongjoong was-
“I couldn’t… I couldn’t even move to defend myself.” His expression pinched. “He just kept beating me. Suho always had enjoyed dragging out pain…. That’s when I met Yeosang and Wooyoung.”
He saved my life.
Yeosang just wants to protect.
“Suho was dragging me off. They saved me. Well… mostly Yeosang. Wooyoung isn’t…a fighter.” The candlelight reflected in his eyes eerily. “But I was different. Suho… Suho changed something inside me.” Regret colored his voice. “I was… I was terrified of even my own shadow. And so I did what any animal does when it feels threatened. I lashed out. One of my pack members… I didn’t hear her come in. I just suddenly knew someone was behind me, and I-”
His chest convulsed as he gagged, clamping a hand over his mouth as his eyes clouded over. Seonghwa’s hand came out, almost demanding for him to just stop talking about it, stop-
“I killed her,” he whispered, horror in his voice. “Just for surprising me. One of Exo’s wolves once wandered into our territory. He taunted me, saying how he would bring me to Suho as a nice prize, and I…”
His expression twitched. “To this day, I don’t remember how it happened. I just… I lost myself. It was like… my wolf took over.”
Seonghwa remembered the red eyes, the way he had looked at Yeosang when he tried to calm him down…
“The next thing I knew, Yeosang was pinning me to the ground, bloody and sliced up. The Exo wolf… you couldn’t even tell he was human anymore. I did that,” he murmured, touching his chest in horror. “I tore him apart and when Yeosang tried to stop me, I attacked him too.”
That… is not what… Yeosang and Hongjoong and their wolves, they-
He lifted his eyes to Seonghwa, something very helpless and angry in them. “ That’s how I know Yeosang is stronger than I am. Because he has to be. He’s gotten between me and my wolf so many times… Even now. You saw what happened when Wooyoung was hurt.” He stared at his hands, as if already imagining them bloodied. “I’ve got a better hold on it now, but back then… I scared the others. It terrified them to watch Yeosang pin their leader down as he tried to tear someone apart. I tried to kill people for approaching me too fast. I was unreliable, I was…”
A monster.
“You were hurt,” Seonghwa excused, voice dangerously unsteady. But this… this, he knew. “You were hurt beyond what you could handle.”
Hongjoong breathed shakily, shaking his head with a bitter smile. “Yeosang kept me in line until I could do it myself. I tried to hand off pack leader to him so many times, but he always said he wouldn’t follow anyone but me. Stupid ,” he muttered, scrubbing his face.
No, Seonghwa wanted to say, staring at the omega before him. No, not stupid. Yeosang understood something- something Hongjoong couldn’t grasp.
Seonghwa saw it, too.
Hongjoong took several deep breaths before coming back up. “That’s why I can’t lead this fight,” he went on roughly. “Because one of two things will happen: I’ll face off Suho and I’ll freeze. Or I’ll lose myself and tear people apart, friend or foe. And I don’t know which is worse.” He turned away.
Seonghwa wanted to reassure him. To shake him and demand that he see reason because all of this… It changed nothing . Hongjoong was still the most reliable, fiercest wolf Seonghwa had ever met, and however he got there…
Whatever he decided for himself and his pack… Hongjoong was strong enough to face this and more. And Seonghwa wanted to beat it into him until he realized that Suho stood no chance against the powerhouse that Hongjoong could be, if Hongjoong just understood that himself.
But Hongjoong was tired. He was haggard and raw and hanging by a thread. Now was not the time to push. Now was the time to comfort and rest.
Seonghwa’s hand found his arm automatically, squeezing it gently, hoping it could give something to him. Hongjoong glanced at him, eyes trailing Seongha’s arm, wide and clear.
“This is exhaustion talking,” Seonghwa said quietly, carefully keeping his voice from wavering. “You need sleep, Hongjoong. This is something to talk about tomorrow morning. This is not a decision for the black of night.”
Hongjoong leveled him with a look, lips pressing together tightly as he scanned Seonghwa’s face thoroughly, making Seonghwa feel as if he was the one who had just exposed all his secrets. “And what do you think of me?” he murmured, voice gaining some strength back. “About… how I got here?”
Seonghwa was silent for only a moment.
A packless omega survived to adulthood. That alone was unheard of. He overpowered wolves day after day, formed his own pack with a bond stronger than blood, lost his sanity and slowly found it again. He resigned himself to a life locked into a political bonding, but never- never- allowed that life to control him, try as it might.
“I think I have never met someone stronger than you.”
Hongjoong tensed, staring at him like he was waiting for Seonghwa to start laughing, and when he didn’t, the tears that had been building for the past hours finally gathered in crystalline eyes and slowly fell.
Seonghwa had instincts as an alpha.
Yes, those included pride and being strong and wanting to be in control of things, as he had stupidly done before.
But it also meant protecting.
The people under his care, people in his pack, people like his mate… his mate was crying and the instinct part of Seonghwa wanted to stop it .
Seonghwa had never done a thing to deserve being able to treat Hongjoong like that. He had no right to start feeling protective now, after everything that had happened. But it still welled in him- a desire to attack and break whatever it was that was hurting him.
But how could he attack the past? How did he kill demons he couldn’t see?
Seonghwa settled, instead, for rubbing gentle circles on his wrist that he still held. The first time he had ever touched Hongjoong’s hand during the bonding, he had been shocked by their roughness- testimonies to the years of wear and tear he had undergone. He had been confused by them on an omega, but now he only found respect for them.
And Seonghwa had no right- he had not earned the right to- but instinct made him lift the hand gently and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. The scent of rain and woodsmoke was overpowering. Hongjoong stiffened under the action, and Seonghwa forced himself not to feel anything at the reaction.
He slowly pulled away, not meeting Hongjoong’s eyes.
“Sleep,” he said quietly, squeezing his hand and slowly releasing it.
Hongjoong looked away from him quickly, wiping at his face roughly as he sucked in a sharp breath. “Fine,” he muttered. Seonghwa feared he may have crossed a line.
But he took it as the dismissal that it was, standing and opening his mouth, wondering what he could possibly say, but nothing came. So he simply nodded, turning as he walked to the doorway.
“Seonghwa.”
He froze, turning back. Hongjoong’s back was turned to him, but his shoulders were tense, his fingers twisted in the sheets of the bed. His frame shook.
“Thank you,” he whispered, never turning.
Go to him , his wolf cried. Comfort him- do something- you failure of a mate!
Seonghwa had not earned the right to comfort Hongjoong. So he simply hummed quietly. He turned, pulling the door open, but hesitating.
“Hongjoong,” he said, turning back.
Hongjoong stiffened, remaining silent.
Seonghwa’s mouth tasted like ash. Woodsmoke clogged his lungs.
“You are the strongest person I have ever met. If you so choose, you could make the skies bend to you.”
Hongjoong’s head lowered until it hung between his shoulders, but he said nothing.
Seonghwa finally left him, closing the door behind him, feeling as if the world was slightly tilted.
He blinked away the darkness of night that seemed thicker after the light inside the hut. Letting go of a breath he didn’t remember taking, he stepped away from the hut, moving down to the little dirt path.
His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he tensed, sensing something around him, but the scent on the wind made him pause. He turned quickly and found Yeosang standing there, watching him with impassive eyes. Beyond him, a good distance away, he saw Wooyoung standing in the darkness.
Seonghwa froze.
For a moment, the Yeosang and Seonghwa just stood there, watching each other. Wooyoung appeared to not be part of the conversation, and Seonghwa wondered when he had made the journey here.
But Yeosang was more of an immediate threat. Seonghwa wondered what his plan was. There was nothing aggressive about the air between them, simply observing. Yeosang’s eyes glinted amber in the dim moonlight, making him appear eerie and translucent.
“He told you,” Yeosang finally said quietly, never even shifting. “That makes you special. Most people in the pack don’t even know his story. But, you are mates, so it makes sense that he would reveal it at some point.”
Seonghwa sensed no emotion in his voice. He stared at Yeosang, standing guard out here, staring at Seonghwa as if he were nothing more than a pebble for him to step over. And truly, it was testament to how fried his mind was that his next words tumbled out without even fully forming within his mind.
“Do you have feelings for him? Did you?”
Seonghwa wished the ground would swallow him whole.
Had he not just had a conversation with Wooyoung about this? Did he truly dare , after everything he knew, to ask with Wooyoung standing only a few paces away-
Seonghwa expected either an angry snap at his audacity or a scoffed refusal. But Yeosang just sighed, turning to look at the lighted tent, expression somber.
“The entire pack-” He stopped, shaking his head once. “I care for Hongjoong,” he said quietly, eyes distant. “I would give my life for him. He gave Wooyoung and I a home. He gave us everything .”
Seonghwa tried to imagine the two stories together- an alpha who followed his omega from their smothering pack, wandering until they found a head wolf being attacked by ghosts of his past, entering into his pack and finding a haven among people like them- disgraced and left to die.
Wooyoung’s claiming marks upon marks, Yeosang’s hard eyes and firm hands, holding him as he waited for Hongjoong to tip over an edge that he had sworn to bring him back from.
He glanced at Wooyoung in the distance, silent and waiting for Yeosang got finish whatever he had started.
Yeosang turned back, eyes glinting.
“I relied on him for strength because I was not the alpha he and Wooyoung needed me to be. With him… I changed. For the better,” he assured him, as if Seonghwa would fight the claim.
He didn’t want to hunt or fight, even though he was good at it.
“He only asked that I help keep this pack safe. I was tasked with protecting the pack at any cost. Even from him.”
Yeosang just wants to protect.
How could Seonghwa look at the two of them…
How could he see anything of what they did… and assume that they were anything like what Yeosang and Wooyoung were? Had pride and anger made him that blind?
“But no,” Yeosang confessed finally, shaking his head heavily. “I’ve never thought of him that way. I have everything I need outside of him.”
Marks upon marks-
“What we have… It’s a balancing act,” Yeosang told him, patient, quiet, grim. “Hongjoong would tear the world apart to protect us, and that scares him. He places a trust in me that I can’t even fully understand, tasking me with making sure he stays in line. In exchange for what he allowed me to give Wooyoung- safety and a home- it was a small price.”
Yeosang goes where I go. Trying to convince him to stay behind would have been a waste of breath.
Wooyoung stood at a distance, and for a dark, shining moment… Seonghwa felt the uncomfortable weight of jealousy in his chest.
Not of Yeosang and Hongjoong.
Of Yeosang and Wooyoung. Who had claimed each other, following and protecting and comforting- as they should . Seonghwa felt trapped next to them- he felt guilty . Yeosang risked everything to give everything to Wooyoung.
What had Seonghwa done for his mate?
Nothing.
Yeosang’s eyes were amber in the darkness as he looked at Seonghwa. “I don’t blame you for Hongjoong getting hurt,” he informed him matter-of-factly. “As much as I’d like to, and as easy as it would be.” Seonghwa couldn’t help it: he snorted quietly. “Hongjoong is comfortable around you, though. And I have to give you credit for that, given everything.”
Seonghwa snorted again, but at himself this time, looking at Yeosang as if he had gone insane. “ Comfortable ? I don’t think we’ve had more than a handful of conversations that didn’t end in near fist fights.”
Yeosang smirked, the whites of his teeth visible as his lips curled, breaking the impassive mask. “Yes. But none of them did. And… truthfully, regardless of your relationship to him, there’s no guarantee that he would trust you enough to know where he comes from. He doesn’t like talking about it. Doesn’t like remembering that time in his life. Very few people are granted power over him like that. Seeing that weakness.”
This is why you will never have power over me. Because I can’t trust you to use power right.
Seonghwa felt like a fist had just been buried in his stomach. Was this…
Was this what Hongjoong considered power over him? Not physical or hierarchical- Hongjoong spit on those powers.
This, though… this weakness, this raw wound that he still guarded with fire and snarls…
This was the ultimate power Seonghwa could wield over him. The fears and insecurities and weaknesses that his pack could never see- that he would never bear to let them see.
Seonghwa- a stranger, a barrier, an enemy- now held that in his possession.
Hongjoong had handed that to him.
Why?
“We’re going into a war,” Seonghwa excused stiffly. “I feel like that would be something he had to tell me.” Freezing in the middle of a battle seemed pretty important to share.
It was Yeosang’s turn to snort, stepping forward slowly. “War or not, if you think there’s a force on earth strong enough to make him share what he doesn’t want to…” The amusement in his eyes almost overpowered the heaviness there. “If he told you, that says something about how he sees you.”
Seonghwa hadn’t done anything. Certainly nothing Hongjoong could ever notice.
In Hongjoong’s eyes the two of them had to still be strangers, at best. Cellmates, perhaps. Seonghwa had given no reason to be granted that sort of trust. Yeosang must be mistaken, warm eyes dancing in the darkness.
Seonghwa had been handed so much information today, but his brain still stuck on one thing. “You’re sure you don’t have feelings for him?”
Yeosang, rather than getting annoyed, chuckled, walking towards Seonghwa and pausing beside him. “I do have feelings for him. Just not romantic ones. As you can see my dick is still firmly attached, so Wooyoung has had no reason to remove it.”
There was something almost teasing, despite the situation, the wind blowing throw and ruffling their hair, carrying with it Wooyoung’s scent of pine to them. His eyes flickered to Yeosang’s neck, and even in the darkness, when the other alpha shifted, Seonghwa could make out the very edges of teeth marks hidden beneath his shirt.
So they were...
Yeosang glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. “But if it makes you feel better…” His eyes flashed crimson, the edges tinged dark as all warmth vanished, leaving a blackhole of icy aura piercing through Seonghwa’s skin. “Know that I won’t hesitate to show you how those feelings manifest if you bring harm to him.”
Seonghwa had to feel nothing but respect.
Yeosang, despite his appearance, despite Seonghwa’s ignorance, was his ally. He inclined his head, pointedly not remembering the way his body had rejected Hongjoong’s tears. How he had trembled and shook with fear of one person .
Seonghwa couldn’t kill his demons, but he could eviscerate a devil. And for a moment, the confusion and off-kilterness vanished into anger.
“Don’t worry,” Seonghwa assured him, jaw setting painfully tight, claws appearing. “After tonight, the only person I plan to cause harm to is Suho.”
He was the one who did this. He was the one who had begun this whole hell. He was the reason Hongjoong looked at himself and saw nothing but fear.
He was the one who created Hongjoong’s tears.
Yeosang hummed quietly, mulling it over for a moment before he nodded sharply, shoulders stiff with stored anger. “Good. Then we have a common ground.”
He didn’t say a farewell, simply turned around and strode back to Wooyoung.
The omega continued to stare until Yeosang reached him, shoulders stiff. He watched Wooyoung grasp his hand tightly, moving forward to bury his face into Yeosang’s neck- a comforting action for the both of them.
It seemed as though they exchange a few words before Wooyoung pulled away, nuzzling into Yeosang’s neck for another moment, Yeosang’s hand coming up to touch his side gently, before Yeosang lead him down the path to the other tents, neither of them sparing a glance back for Seonghwa.
Seonghwa stayed in the clearing, staring off into the darkness, until the hut beside him had finally gone dark, drawing him out of his stupor. Seonghwa felt… oddly numb.
He shook feeling back into his limbs, mind uncomfortably numb as he began walking slowly back to his own hut. He still didn’t sleep, laying awake and wondering how terrifying it must be to exist in Hongjoong’s mind.
Hongjoong was going to fight, he comforted himself.
They needed him to fight.
If that meant that Seonghwa stood beside him and fought off what he couldn’t, then so be it.
Notes:
The plot thickens!
There’s a lot more plot and twists to come, so wait for it!
Hopefully this shed some light on everyone and their relationships~~
I hope you enjoyed it, and let me know what you thought!!
Have a lovely day!
-SS
Chapter 3: Instinct to Fight
Notes:
The battle!!!!
I’ve decided to keep a pretty quick update schedule~~ Sorry~~
I think I liked writing this chapter the most, so please let me know what you think about it!
Have a lovely day~~
-SS
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“We can take them in a frontal assault,” San pressed, knuckles white against the table.
Jongho sat next to him at the council table, expression stormy. Yeosang, Wooyoung, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Minseok and Jongdae (with visible paleness, but he wouldn’t be swayed to remain laying down) watched with tangible energy crackling.
Hongjoong shook his head slowly, eyes that of someone who had slept none. His voice was hollow. “That’s not what we’re discussing, San, and you know it.”
“You can’t keep being afraid of him!” San fought, fingers curling into shaking fists that seemed more desperate than angry as he stood. “We need you in this fight! You’re our strongest, hyung! You’re stronger than him!”
Seonghwa’s mouth tasted like copper as he sat, arms crossed.
“And Yeosang is stronger than me,” Hongjoong broke in calmly, too calm, too complacent. “Everyone here knows it. He may not accept becoming pack leader, but if I don’t fight, it automatically is passed to him to lead the fight.”
Seonghwa’s fingers tightened in their fist. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. This… this was cowardice.
“Hongjoong,” Yeosang said quietly, expression pleading, so unlike his stoicism from before. “You’re selling yourself short. You have more control than you used to-”
“I still almost lost it just seeing Wooyoung hurt,” Hongjoong snapped, some of that fire trying to flicker back into his eyes. “You saw it. You had to stop me.”
“That wasn’t you losing yourself,” Yeosang pressed firmly, eyes hardening. “If you had lost yourself, the moment you grabbed that wolf’s neck, he would have been dead. But you didn’t kill him, Hongjoong. You had enough control.”
There was a faith there, in Yeosang’s eyes. One he was begging Hongjoong’s to understand.
“That’s not control,” Hongjoong bit out sharply, looking disgusted. “That’s luck. Imagine what would happen if I saw Suho again…” his voice died out, and Seonghwa swallowed the urges in his throat. “I already lost to him once, yesterday, I don’t-
“You’re not fighting him alone.” Hongjoong’s eyes sliced across the table to Seonghwa who didn’t shift under his blazing gaze that he grown immune to. “Everytime you talk about it, you make it sound like a big show down where it’s just you and him.” Seonghwa pressed his lips together, anger and a thousand emotions rushing through him. “But that’s not how it’s going to play out, Hongjoong. You have two packs at your back. You have a mate. You’re not going to-”
Hongjoong hit the table hard enough to cut Seonghwa off, his eyes flashing a warning as he stood, Seonghwa’s eyes following the movement darkly.
“I’ve made my decision,” he bit out angrily. “I am not going to partake in this fight. I won’t risk the pack like that. Yeosang will lead in my stead and ensure that-”
“No.”
You could have heard a pin drop as Hongjoong froze, turning slowly, like he was afraid of what he might see, staring at Yeosang who had his eyes glued to the table, expression tormented.
“No,” he repeated quietly, closing his eyes to block out the world for a moment.
Wooyoung watched, expresion tight and controlled, but his eyes broadcasting a sad discomfort. He remained silent.
Yeosang opened his eyes, looking up with knives in his irises.. “Hongjoong… I’m sorry, but this is your battle. If I believed that you were right and posed a threat, it would be different. But you don’t . You’re not a threat, you’re scared .”
Hongjoong looked as if Yeosang had just slapped him.
Yeosang didn’t look away, firm and resolute as a mountain against a rainstorm. “I’m sorry, Hongjoong, but if you don’t fight in this, I won’t either.”
There was a moment where Seonghwa didn’t know what would happen. He could see, equally, Hongjoong crying, Hongjoong storming out, and Hongjoong attacking.
Hongjoong stared at Yeosang, the betrayal on his face enough to make Seonghwa’s stomach churn.
“You wouldn’t do that,” Hongjoong hissed quietly. “You don’t have the will to sit by while the pack is attacked.”
“ And you do ?” Yeosang snapped, expression twisting with eyes that were hurting. “Because that’s what you’re doing, Hongjoong. You’re scared , and you’re letting that fear rule you. Letting it turn you into a coward .”
Hongjoong looked like he drowning, struggling for air, for something to hold onto, something-
Yeosang stood, and while his expression was angry, his eyes were begging Hongjoong to understand. “I accept you handing over the title of head wolf.”
Seonghwa felt like he had just been punched in the gut as Hongjoong’s face fell in shock.
Yeosang’s eyes darkened. “Because I can no longer trust you to make decisions that benefit this pack. I never took that title from you because you were someone I knew would stop at nothing to protect us…”
Wooyoung winced, Jongho and San staring as if a bloodbath were laid before them.
“I can’t trust you to do that anymore,” Yeosang said, voice strong even if he braced his hands on the table. “So I’m taking that title from you.” He turned away from Hongjoong, lowering his eyes to the map that had been laid out for them. “You can go, now,” he dismissed. “If you won’t be part of the battle, you don’t need to be here.”
It was cruel. It was more than was necessary. But it was right.
Hongjoong looked like he was in a waking nightmare. The guilt and anger and helplessness in his eyes was enough to make Seonghwa begin to stand, but Hongjoong turned without a word, rushing to the door of the hut and bursting from the tent without looking back.
Seonghwa resisted as every nerve screamed for him to follow.
Everyone stared at Yeosang as he lowered his head, hands shaking against the table. “You can’t do this,” Jongho spoke up, shaken. “We need Hongjoong. We don’t stand a chance if he’s not going to lead-”
“I can’t force him to fight,” Yeosang said, not looking up, voice weak. “And I won’t. If he is no longer willing to put the pack first…” His jaw tightened, his own brand of betrayal in his eyes. “It’s our job to protect everyone. Forcing him to fight would be worse than him not fighting at all.”
Wooyoung shifted slightly, his side pressing against Yeosang’s, worried eyes scanning what of the alpha’s face he could see.
Yeosang closed his eyes for several moments, Wooyoung’s hand sliding over his that clung to the tabletop, squeezing gently.
Why are you not running, Why are you abandoning your mate, Why aren’t you comforting him-
“San.”
Said beta jumped as Yeosang lifted his head quickly, more put together but still visibly ill. “Give me those plans. How do we stop them in a frontal assault?”
San stood, stuttering as he shifted through papers he had scribbled on hastily, but falling back into his duty, even if his eyes flickered to the entrance of the tent.
“The way I see it,” he said nervously. “We have two options that have the greatest chance of success.” He pushed a sheet into the middle of the table with a hastily drawn scene with X’s and lines. “We meet them at the stream, on their side. The stream will block off a place for them to escape, and we have the advantage in the water.”
Jongho glanced at Seonghwa, eyes dark, but no longer looking ready to attack. “We play there all the time,” he said stiffly. “Exo doesn’t come near it, since they have a lake near their camp. We go back and forth through that stream our whole lives, though. We know it best.”
San nodded quickly, turning back to the paper, tapping a circle on the North end. “Suho won’t be in the front of the attack- no way. He’ll wait for everyone to be occupied and then…” San’s jaw tightened. “He’s going to be looking for Hongjoong. I don’t know what he’ll do when he’s not there.”
The silence at the table was heavy enough to suffocate.
Why aren’t you going after him, Why are you just sitting here, Why are you abandon-
Yeosang finally nodded. “Option two?”
San winced. “Well… it’s a little riskier.”
“Risky how?” Seonghwa asked, needing something to stop the racing of his blood.
San chewed his lip. “Other than just waiting for them to show up at our camp? The only other option I see is to strike first.”
Silence rang as everyone stared.
“You mean go to Exo’s camp and attack there?” Wooyoung demanded. “That’s insane- they’d have every advantage over us.”
“Except the element of surprise,” San said, pulling out another paper, full of more scrawls. “Let’s face it- we don’t know when they’re coming. We have no clue .” He tapped an X. “Our other best bet is to try and catch them off guard before they fully rally. It’ll give us the element of surprise, which may be enough if we can act quickly.”
“Do we have time for that?” Minseok questioned, expression stony. “Hongjoong expected the attack within the next two days. That means we’d have to attack by the end of today, at the latest , and just hope he doesn’t attack earlier than that.”
San’s jaw flexed, glancing at Jongho who only stared back. “It’s not a great plan,” San admitted. “But these two are the best we have. We can wait for our sentries to give word and we’ll cut them off at the stream, or we meet them before they leave their camp.” He winced. “Or we wait for them to reach our camp and fight here.”
All bad options for an even worse situation.
And everyone was looking to Yeosang.
Who looked like he had never experienced something so awful. Wooyoung and his hands were hidden underneath the table, Wooyoung keeping careful, scared eyes on the stony anger on Yeosang’s face.
Yeosang never wanted to lead.
“Seonghwa.”
He looked up sharply, not expecting to be addressed, and Yeosang’s eyes met his like a rock beating against skin. “What are your thoughts?” he questioned, diceptably voice even. “As a leader?”
Help me.
Seonghwa looked at the maps, then up at the people around him.
Truthfully? They were all death wishes, as far as options. But…
“Given these options?” he said quietly, sharp eyes burning holes into the map. “Given our resources? We don’t have enough people to make this a long battle. We need something quick. And that means… as suicidal as it is, entering into Exo’s camp is probably our most likely success.” He glanced towards Jongdae and Minseok. “Especially if someone can guide us around.”
Minseok and Jongdae exchanged glances. “It… would be relatively easy to sneak up on the camp,” Jongdae said firmly. “The camp is in a clearing, thick trees on every side that would get you within a hundred feet. If we were fast, we could stage a clean attack.”
“Inside the camp is another matter, though,” Minseok informed them, pointing to the east. “It’s a bit of a maze, and they’re going to know their way around it well.”
“Weak points,” Seonghwa said firmly. “Blind spots. Anything that could exploited.”
He saw Yeosang glance at him from the corner of his eyes, Wooyoung’s gaze falling on him also. And then Seonghwa realized that everyone was looking at him. Not just watching, no.
Expecting.
And Seonghwa… Seonghwa felt wrong.
Because these people looking at him… looking for guidance, for leadership… they weren’t his people. They were Hongjoong’s.
Seonghwa was not the person who should be sitting at the top.
His mouth felt dry. When had he ever backed down from leading? When had he ever hesitated when taking charge or guiding people along?
But these were not his people. This was supposed to be Hongjoong’s seat. Seonghwa had no right to-
“Definitely in the South sector,” Minseok assured him, pointing on the map. “The trees are thickest, and most of the housing there faces away from the woods. It’s directly next to the main gathering circle, so the population of wolves there would be high, but they would essentially be trapped, if we can make it fast enough.”
“And in the middle of the camp,” Jongdae added. “That’s where Suho will likely be. When the alarm is sounded, he’ll remain there unless something truly goes wrong. The building is fortified, but only with wolves. If you can make it passed them, you’re already in.”
The downfall of a cocky tyrant.
Seonghwa nodded, trying to focus as Yeosang hummed. “That… is not the best plan we’ve ever had,” He muttered. “But in terms of what we have to work with, it may be enough.”
“When?” Jongho questioned. “Tonight? Or do we wait until we have light tomorrow?”
“As soon as possible,” San broke in firmly. “It has to be. We have to strike before tomorrow. Otherwise, we lose our only advantage.”
Yeosang glanced at Seonghwa.
Stop looking to me, I’m not your leader.
“If we can plan out groups of attack and placement, we could be ready by sundown,” Seonghwa said heavily. “We’ll be in the dark- another disadvantage- but it’s all we have.”
Yeosang nodded. “Then let’s start dividing groups. We need good fighters on each team. Minseok, Jongdae, when we get there, your job is to find anyone who would be willing to turncoat-”
Seonghwa glanced around, the empty chair across the table almost seeming to mock him.
Why are you still just sitting here?
~~~~~~~~
Seonghwa stepped out of the tent as the others ran off to start informing everyone of their plans. The fresh air hit him hard after the stuffy tent, the scent of earth and woodsmoke-
He turned, but no familiar face appeared. The scent was just what this place smelled like.
“Western section of the woods.”
Seonghwa turned slightly, finding Yeosang standing behind him, Wooyoung not in sight, but surely not far. Yeosang’s expression was, for once, clearly able to be identified: tired. Worn.
“What?” he questioned.
Yeosang pointed to the west where the sun had already moved passed midday. “That’s where you’ll find Hongjoong. There’ll be a bunch of fallen trees. It’s easy to find.”
“He’d go into the woods when we know Suho would try to attack?” he demanded, stomach churning. He had assumed that Hongjoong would stay in the camp, not go wandering by himself .
Yeosang simply stared. “He’s safe. Hongjoong’s been going for years. Exo can’t reach it unless they go through the camp. There’s a gorge on the other side of it. He always goes there when he wants to be alone.”
Seonghwa frowned, something in his chest twisting. “You think we could talk sense into him?”
Yeosang looked like he wanted to laugh, but never quite managed it, face twitching before falling again. “No,” he said heavily, staring at the ground and kicking up some dirt. “No… Hongjoong has convinced himself he’s doing what’s best, and that means he’ll never change his mind.”
“Then what good is me going to him?” Seonghwa demanded. The air was charged and dry around them.
Yeosang lifted his eyes from the ground- not quite so worn, and smouldering with disappointment. “Because that’s your mate over in those woods, alone, and convinced that he’s a monster.”
Seonghwa winced, and Yeosang had the pity to not look like he deserved the lashing.
Yeosang’s expression closed off once more. “About half a mile into the woods,” He said, turning away. “You can’t miss it.”
He was already walking away while Seonghwa was trying to untie his tongue.
Any other points you want to add to the list of evidence that you are literally the shittiest mate?
Seonghwa scrubbed at his face, sighing harshly.
What happened to the days where he had decided that he could just ignore?
The black wolf raced off, people watching him go, but no one trying to stop him as Seongwha exited the little camp, racing towards the woods. Gorge or not, his heart raced as he imagined finding just an empty clearing.
The woods were thick, slowing him down, but it wasn’t long before the trees thinned out and Seonghwa kept an eye out for any sign or scent of Hongjoong.
He stepped into a true clearing, the entire floor covered in decaying, fallen trees, some thick enough to reach his chest. He walked through it slowly, trying to find something to direct him, not letting fear set it.
He sniffed the air and caught the sweet scent of rain.
He leapt up onto a fallen trunk, trying to see around-
A flash of white slamming into him with the force of a boulder, knocking him backwards, sending him tumbling on the ground as he clawed at the ground, straightening again, only to leap backwards as teeth snapped at his neck.
Red flashed along with the crystal white fur that attacked.
“Hongjoong!” Seonghwa rolled quickly, springing back up as the wolf froze.
Red eyes glared at him, a growl cutting short as Seonghwa stood, tensed and ready for another assault.
Hongjoong’s wolf froze, red fading from his eyes and the curl of his maw loosening, hiding his bared teeth as he took a step back, a whine stuck in his throat as Seonghwa stared at him.
“I…” Hongjoong lowered his head, another step back. “ I’m sorry, I thought- I didn’t know-”
“Are you hurt?” Seonghwa asked, stepping after him.
At his approach, Hongjoong took several quick steps back. Seonghwa stopped, letting Hongjoong choose the distance between them.
“I didn’t realize it was you, I didn’t think anyone would-”
“Nothing happened,” Seonghwa told him firmly. “ You’re right to be wary.”
“No, it’s not- I-” His face dropped.
Seonghwa watched him turn away, legs bending to run.
“Don’t!”
Both of them were equally surprised at the desperate cry from Seonghwa, Hongjoong turning around quickly. Seonghwa paused, half taking a step after him, chest twisting and churning and aching.
Hongjoong slowly… slowly relaxed from his bolting stance. His haunches fell, his expression falling. The scent of rain overpowered woodsmoke, Seonghwa trying to make his fucking brain do something, he’s your mate, he’s right there-
“I’m sorry.”
Hongjoong froze, ears flattening in confusion.
Seonghwa’s mouth tasted like dirt. He took a careful… slow step towards Hongjoong. The other didn’t make to run. “I have been… terrible. To you and your pack.”
Hongjoong’s nose twitched, his tail swishing nervously, as Seonghwa approached as slowly as he physically could, his own ears twitching as Hongjoong whined nersouly, feet shifting.
“ You weren’t-”
“I’ve been… a horrible mate, and an even worse ally,” he confessed, stomach heavy. Seongwha paused when Hongjoong shook his head, as if to clear it. “Where I should have supported you, I shoved you away. Where I should have aided you… I stood by.”
His own bitter prejudice aside, he should have at least acted as an ally to his mate, even if he couldn’t be what he needed. It was the bare minimum he could have done.
Hongjoong shook his head again quickly. “I never wanted-”
“I can’t describe how disgusted I am with myself, Seonghwa told him, resuming his slow walk. Hongjoong coat twitched, ruffling the fur. “ From the moment I met you… I…”
God, Seonghwa was horrid, wasn’t he? Mate aside, he should have at least been able to be cordial to Hongjoong as another leader. Another human.
“You aren’t accustomed to what I tried to create,” Hongjoong said, as if that excused anything. “ It’s not-”
“I should have been a better mate,” Seonghwa pressed, claws pawing at the ground, knocking deep brown dirt onto his dark coat. “ I should have… should have been someone you could at least rely on.”
“I can rely on you,” Hongjoong said, voice a hurried rush. “ That’s why-” He took another hesitant step away, ears twitching nervously. “ That’s why I’m trusting you to help Yeosang. Look after them, since I-”
Seonghwa stood only a foot from him, Hongjoong’s voice dying as his ears dropped, legs crouching until he was lowering himself in front of Seonghwa.
The sight was so utterly wrong .
“Why?” He whispered, eyes trailing Hongjoong’s massive frame that seemed to try and be as small as possible. “ Why are you… You would have rathered fought to the death than lower yourself to me, Hongjoong.”
Hongjoong lowered his eyes and Seonghwa took another step, the distance between them shrinking, feeling the urge to be sick, the soft earth beneath them giving some under his weight.
“I… Just take care of them, Seonghwa. Don’t-”
Seonghwa pushed forward the last few inches, pressing his nose to Hongjoong neck.
Hongjoong tensed, trying to flinch away, but Seonghwa followed him, pressing his nose into his shoulder, nuzzling in the fur there, the rich scent of Hongjoong assaulting him, stronger than he had ever scented before.
Hongjoong whined, and Seonghwa waited for him to pull away again, but he simply froze, as if a new sensation had occurred that he didn’t know was painful or not.
Seonghwa was still, giving Hongjoong another chance to remove himself, wondering how much of the scent of the forest was around them and what was Hongjoong. Slowly, he ran his muzzle along his neck, nosing gently below his maw, and Hongjoong twitched, his claws pawing at the soft dirt.
It was… intimate.
Regular behavior for mates, but Seonghwa… Seonghwa and Hongjoong had experienced each other through the five-feet-apart barrier of strangers, always careful not to get too close, to keep a respectable length between them to minimize the bloodshed of their constant battles.
But Seonghwa tilted his head back, exposing his neck- offering it, to Hongjoong.
Standard for mates.
But Seonghwa felt as if someone had just stripped him of everything, leaving nothing but a weak little mess of sensitive, raw emotion.
He could smell Hongjoong’s hesitation, in the pulse of scent that weakened and strengthened from him. A low, barely-there whine in his throat- a hesitation, an act of not knowing what action to take. Hongjoong’s nose grazed across the surface of Seonghwa’s coat- scenting and testing, a strange action that he had never performed before.
Not like this.
Seonghwa kept completely still, even if something inside of him told him to reciprocate. He allowed Hongjoong time, space, freedom to trail and test, sniffing quietly along Seonghwa before pressing against the spot below his muzzle, gently at first and then more firmly, as if finding it intriguing. He shivered.
Seonghwa swallowed thickly, Hongjoong’s body brushing against his, muscle and bone shifting and moving as Hongjoong trailed his neck once more, slowly, as if waiting for Seonghwa to react.
Hongjoong’s ears perked, shifting more, and Seonghwa waited for him to retreat, but then Hongjoong was nuzzling under Seonghwa’s head, body dragging beneath his jaw as Hongjoong rubbed against him in one fluid motion.
He was scenting him.
Seonghwa resisted the urge to move, to shift, to do something because Hongjoong-
Hongjoong whined again, quieter this time- not desperate, but like a discomfort that was finally being relieved- fur fluffing as he pressed lean muscle against Seonghwa.
Seonghwa nuzzled along his back, gentle and careful as Hongjoong’s fur stood on end for a moment, Hongjoong pausing until he could turn, pressing his nose back to Seonghwa’s shoulder, remaining there as Seonghwa was assaulted again and again with raindrops hitting his nose as moist earth hit his nose.
The scent had become so familiar, mixed with his own in his house, but it almost smelled like a drug out here, something he had come to associate with… Just Hongjoong .
“Seonghwa…”
Seonghwa tensed, ready for Hongjoong to pull away, to refuse, the breathy whisper reaching his senses like a feather tickling along his spine.
Please don’t, he wanted to beg. Don’t pull away.
“You…” Hongjoong hesitated, face buried deep into Seonghwa’s fur, the contrast of their coats almost comical. “ Why now…?”
Seonghwa couldn’t think of a worse time to open up to Hongjoong, to try and initiate what he had been vehemently shoving away since the moment they met.
“You need it now… more than ever, I think.”
Hongjoong ducked his head, whining high and sharp, fear turning the scent of mist sour.
Seonghwa nuzzled into neck, the scent of wildflower mingling with woodsmoke. “ I’m going to protect them, Hongjoong,” he promised, wondering if it was even a necessary promise, but Hongjoong still pressed against him…
Against him .
Seonghwa, who had done nothing to deserve Hongjoong’s affection- mate or not. Who was standing here, still emotionally stiff and cold as Hongjoong searched for some sort of comfort against the demons creeping around him.
Maybe Hongjoong was just so desperate at this point, he didn’t care where he was able to glean comfort.
“I’m going to do everything in my power to keep everyone safe, Hongjoong. That’s why we bonded, isn’t it?”
Seonghwa, if nothing else, would honor that promise of their bonding.
Hongjoong dropped his head, pulling away enough that he stared Seonghwa in the eyes- not fiery, but wide and clear.
“Seonghwa, I can’t-” He shifted, ears pressing down again, and Seonghwa stepped towards him once more, Hongjoong freezing. He didn’t move closer or further, and Seonghwa stopped in place. His tail flicked agitatedly. “ When do you leave?”
Seonghwa wanted to close to distance, to comfort again with each nervous shift of Hongjoong’s body. “As soon as we’re ready. By nightfall, at the latest.”
“That soon?” He demanded.
“We’re going into Exo’s camp. We’re going to act on the advantage of surprise.”
“You can’t-”
For a moment, Hongjoong’s eyes flashed red, as if daring them to try something so suicidal, but they flickered out, Hongjoong turning away, whimpering as if he had been struck, stumbling away as Seonghwa followed quickly.
“Hongjoong-”
“Keep them safe,” He begged, not turning back to Seonghwa, pawing at the ground. “ Please, Seonghwa, if you do nothing else, just-”
“I already told you I would keep them safe,” Seonghwa said firmly, eyes hard as rubies. “ I would keep you safe, as well.”
“Seonghwa-”
“You belong among them, Hongjoong,” he pressed, closing the distance between them slightly. “ You deserve a chance to fight the monsters who-”
“I’m not looking for revenge!” Hongjoong snapped, whipping around with blazing eyes that tried to flicker into crimson, teeth bared in a hideous snarl. “ I never wanted to make him pay- I wanted to move on and live in peace, but they couldn’t just leave us-”
Like a doused candle, he fell back, shaking his head, ears twitching and tail flicking-
Seonghwa was still, Hongjoong whimpering weakly, as if trying to drown out something.
And then suddenly, Hongjoong’s body was pressing against him, nose pressed to Seonghwa’s neck, breathing frantically, as if afraid something would tear him away.
Seonghwa dropped his head, wrapping around Hongjoong, pulling him close, the scent of rose and sweet pea encasing him, Hongjoong whining weakly, as if begging for Seonghwa to do something Seonghwa didn’t know.
Seonghwa tried to calm, to comfort, but he had never needed to do that before.
Wrong.
He had never chosen to do that before.
But he tried, now, scenting and nuzzling at Hongjoong’s fur, the warmth of his dark fur bleeding into his pale one.
“Keep them safe,” Hongjoong begged, barely audible through his fur.
“What will you do?” Seonghwa murmured, pressed to his neck.
“Stay at the camp… with the pups… No one will make it all the way out here.”
Coward, Yeosang had called him.
Hongjoong was suddenly gone, a distance between them as he crossed the clearing, not quite looking back at Seonghwa. “ Go,” he said quietly. “ You need to prepare. I’ll return near sundown.”
Seonghwa wanted to bring him back. Wanted to make sure he made it to the safety of the camp, to ensure that he wasn’t left out here, where anyone could-
But he nodded in understanding.
Hongjoong made his choice.
Seonghwa’s job was to ensure that he didn’t regret it.
“I’ll bring them home safely.”
Hongjoong’s head was low as he looked over his shoulder, eyes like pools of mercury. “ You come home safely, too.”
It punched Seonghwa in the chest. He stared at Hongjoong who turned away, walking into the fallen trees, white boat disappearing through the overgrowth and moss.
His heart fell further, twisting and freezing over with the other’s absence. Seonghwa could still smell rain clinging to the air.
He turned, having to jerk his limbs to move each step as he returned to the camp. Yeosang casted him a single glance that Seonghwa could not decipher and then returned to his conversation with a group of wolves- everyone a mixture of concerned and fierce.
Hongjoong had raised a strong pack.
Every wolf- alpha, beta, omega, unpresented- held a fire in their eyes as they were told they would need to fight to protect their home, their pack.
“Word has already been sent to Seonghwa’s pack,” Yeosang said as he passed by, not looking at him again. “But they likely wouldn’t make it in time to aid in the fight. So we have to try and make it a quick massacre, or hold them off long enough for reinforcements. Do you-”
Seonghwa moved out of earshot, wandering, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now. Perhaps, he should be talking to his own pack members here…
A blur appeared around the edge of a tent. “Hongj-”
Seonghwa froze as Wooyoung jerked to a stop, staring at Seonghwa as if looking at something that had no purpose being somewhere. He frowned, confused, his nose twitching. He took a step away, nose wrinkling. “You smell like Hongjoong.”
Seonghwa couldn’t tell if the younger was upset about that or not.
“I went and spoke with him in the woods,” Seonghwa explained, looking at Wooyoung’s different clothes- more form fitting and sturdy. “Yeosang is going to let you come to the fight?”
Wooyoung narrowed his eyes. “You’ve spoke with him for weeks. You’ve never smelled like him before. And, of course I’m going. I can’t fight as well as the others, but who says Exo wolves won’t fall for some omega allures?” He fluttered his eyelashes, an action that made Seonghwa want to recoil a little.
“You know what would make me smell like him,” Seonghwa said shortly, glaring lightly. “And I simply figured after his reaction to three little cuts, Yeosang would tell you to stay here.”
Wooyoung looked triumphant, even as he snorted in disbelief. “Oh, God, yes. Yeosang’s ready to tie me to a pole to keep me here, but you think that changes the fact that I’m going?” He scoffed, shaking his head.
Or was it because you’re still ashamed of bringing back a weak little omega bitch who’s so backwards, he can even disobey his alpha mate?
“You… don’t listen to Yeosang.”
Yeosang didn’t listen to Hongjoong. How the hell did anything get done in this pack? How did it run as smoothly as it did?
Wooyoung’s smirk faded a little at Seonghwa’s tone, eyes trailing him, as if looking for something visibly wrong. His face darkened a little. “It’s not like I refuse out of spite or anything,” He said slowly, as if making sure Seonghwa understood this. “But I know when Yeosang tells me to do something out of necessity and out of over-protectiveness. We can’t afford to leave people behind. He’s scared something will happen, but that’s a chance I decided to take. So I’m going.”
“He let’s you?” Seonghwa asked, the question tumbling out. “He doesn’t get upset?”
“Sometimes,” Wooyoung said, shifting his weight slightly as he shrugged. “But it’s not because I fight him, it’s because he’s scared something will happen. And he’s not upset with me. God, I think Yeosang would have a heart attack if I listened to everything he said.”
Wooyoung made a vague vomiting gesture.
“How does anything get done?” Seonghwa demanded, something coiling in his stomach. “If Yeosang tells you to do something, and you don’t, and then you’re stuck in a cycle of refusing-”
“Well,” Wooyoung broke in lightly, “how would you settle something if it was two alphas?” He questioned. “And I mean without a bloodbath.”
Discussion, Seonghwa supposed. Conversation, looking at every angle and decided which idea or plan held more merit.
Was it… that simple?
“So you just… talk it out?”
Wooyoung thought for a moment before nodding slowly. “Yeah, basically. I told him what I told you: It’s my decision to fight, I understand the risks, but I’ve decided that it’s worth it. Yeosang accepted that. His compromise was keeping me near him. That simple, really.”
Right. Simple. And, yet, somehow, something that made Seonghwa want to throw up at.
He and Hongjoong weren’t good at the… talking thing.
“Is it really that hard for people outside of our pack to fathom that we can be our own people?” Wooyoung questioned, almost looking sad for him. “Is it that weird for you that Hongjoong doesn’t follow your every suggestion?”
“ No .” Seonghwa’s expression tightened, eyes widening. “No, it’s-” Wooyoung blinked, surprised, and Seonghwa couldn’t tell him.
Couldn’t articulate everything he had learned and catalogued and gathered about Hongjoong. Everything he had come to attribute to him, everything he came to l-
“I understand,” he said firmly. “I… I’m not used to it, but I understand. I get it.”
Wooyoung stared at him for several moments before nodding slowly. “Okay,” he said carefully. “Well, we’re having everyone who’s ready meet in the center of camp, so… if you’re ready…?”
Seonghwa didn’t know if he actually was. But he needed to be.
Seonghwa nodded, gesturing. “Lead the way.”
Not for the first time, Seonghwa followed an omega.
~~~~~~~~
The night was just barely fallen when they began to approach Exo’s territory.
Seonghwa glanced at Jongdae beside him, expression grim as the brown and white speckled coat glided along within the trees.
“Suho,” Seonghwa told him firmly. “ We kill him, and the rest should fall apart, correct?”
“Unless people have suddenly gotten really happy with him,” Jongdae assured him. “ No guarantees, but our chances should be better with him gone. And you remember the directions Minseok gave you?”
North until you hit the lake. East until you find the campfires. Look for the largest hut.
“I’ve got them,” he assured him. “ Are you sure you’re in the condition to fight?”
Jongdae flashed him a cocky smile that was a little too familiar. “ Listen, I either die here now or when Suho hunts me down for betraying them. At the very least, I’m taking some of these fuckers with me.”
Seonghwa had never found anyone who fought for their own reasons, like these people did.
“We’ll have no time once we attack,” Jongdae told the group of four wolves behind them. “ So find someone to attack, and don’t stop until they’re not twitching anymore, got it?”
The group nodded. The only person Seonghwa recognized among them was Jongho. Someone whose only experience with fighting was sitting on San until the beta gave up trying to shove him off. But out of all of them, his eyes burned brightest, red and angry.
“I’d say I have more right to kill Suho than you,” Jongho told him as they walked, a threat on the tip of his tongue. “ For everything he did to Hongjoong. But…” His eyes traced over Seonghwa, his nose twitching in the afterscents that Hongjoong had left behind. “ I think I’ll let you take this one. Maybe you’ll drag it out longer than I could.”
Seonghwa didn’t really understand, but he thought that was as close to forgiveness the alpha would give him.
They reached the edges of the trees, seeing the camp barely lit with campfires at various parts- some dark with sleep and others active with planning.
“Okay,” Seonghwa whispered, turning to his party. “ Everyone is ready?”
They nodded, eyes burning crimson and steel and cerulean.
Wolves of every type, every kind, ready to fight.
Seonghwa gazed out along the treelines, waiting for the signal, for the starting gong to signal everyone to move. His tongue was ashy as he wondered whether Hongjoong was pacing the camp or fallen asleep in his tent or huddled with the pups.
A small flicker of flame was visible from the treeline- there and gone, too quickly for anyone not looking for it to see.
“The signal,” Jongdae said heavily. “ Three…” His muscles tightened, ready to spring. “ Two…”
Seonghwa felt every part of him tense.
For Hongjoong.
“One.”
Claws dug into the ground, tearing at the dirt as bodies of muscles and power raced across the small clearing surrounding their camp. Seonghwa could hear his party behind him, could see the vague shapes of other wolves racing through the darkness, glowing dots of blood and sea and mercury-
They burst into the firelight of the camp, and the group of Exo’s wolves gathered there hadn’t even done more than turned towards them before their own wolves were on them, claws tearing and teeth snapping.
Seonghwa paid them no mind. These pawns weren’t his mission.
All around him- the yelps of the attacked, the snarls of the attackers. The sound of claws and howls, calling for help and alerting of intruders, silenced violently by wolves who were fighting for something more precious than fear.
He weaved between the battles, only stopping long enough to dislodge wolves who snapped at him, not even bothering to stay to fight them. He bounded through tents, around fires, through battles-
He saw Yeosang, teeth snapped around the neck of a wolf who wasn’t twitching, Wooyoung in the same clearing of huts, claws slashing at another wolf, keeping him back.
I’ll bring them home safe.
Seonghwa jerked to a stop as the dark, murky water of the small lake appeared, body shifting with the leftover momentum, heading east. Campfires. Once he reached that clearing, it was only a matter of-
A body collided with his, knocking him clear off his feet, his body slamming into the ground as it dragged along the dirt, but he was already twisting, teeth latching onto the chestnut fur and tearing.
He did not have time for this.
The wolf let out a truly pitiful yelp, as if it hadn’t expected to actually face a fight.
Seonghwa only held on long enough to yank his teeth out, sinking them in deeper and pulling . The chestnut wolf hit the dirt as Seonghwa stood, claws piercing as he ripped his teeth out, not even hearing the wolf’s cries as he turned, racing off. Dust and dirt clung to the blood on his paws and mouth.
The campfires were empty and only left with burning embers. A circle of a dozen areas meant to burn, but Seonghwa paused among them, eyes searching the dim light. The sounds of fighting still sounded in the distance, a howl reaching his ears as his eyes fell on one hut more than twice the size of the others, long and ornately decorated with wood carvings.
Seonghwa’s blood boiled.
The two wolves at the door were ready for him, the sounds and clashes of fighting long since heard.
He and the first wolf went tumbling- wolf over wolf, through the dirt until the beta was above him, teeth snapping at his neck-
Seonghwa thrust his legs out, shoving against the vulnerable stomach, the beta yelping as Seonghwa shoved it off, rolling to his feet just in time to leap out of the other wolf’s claws.
It was a dangerous dance in the darkness.
Seonghwa looked for an opening, a spot to attack, but his entire focus was on keeping out of their reach. Seonghwa dodged a swipe of their paw, whipping around as the other wolf leapt around him-
Teeth sank into his side, piercing deep enough for him to yelp, immobile for a moment as hot pain racing along his side before he snarled, jerking away violently.
The beta’s teeth tore away, more white hot pain dousing his side as he whipped around. Apparently, that was not what the beta expected of him as Seonghwa was suddenly face to face with him, eyes glowing red as he lunged forward, teeth sinking deep into the beta’s neck.
There was a garbled whine that never completed before claws suddenly sank into Seonghwa’s back.
He grit his teeth, biting down another pained cry as he spun, trying to jerk hard enough to dislodge the wolf who snapped at the back of his neck.
Seonghwa let his legs give out, rolling to the side.
The wolf let go of him, and before Seonghwa had even oriented himself, he lunged, trusting in blind faith and his nose that he was correct.
His body hit the other wolf’s and Seonghwa made whatever blind attempt he could- claws slashing and maw opening to latch onto whatever he could-
The wolf yelped, cut off into a weak whine as Seonghwa pulled whatever he had caught, slamming him into the ground and holding him there, claws dislodging only to sink into the soft underbelly.
Wolf fights were not uncommon- neither among different packs, nor the same one. But it had been some time since Seonghwa had been involved as a fight such as this.
He didn’t even bother killing the two of them, not even ensuring they were incapacitated before breaking through the door, storming from dim night into a lantern lit room. His body throbbed as blood dripped but it was nonexistent in his mind.
Despite being larger than the other huts, the bottom story was only one room, various rooms of no interest to him connected with no walls. All of them empty.
Seonghwa only scanned it once, seeing no wolf hiding among the sparse furniture, and then he was racing up the stairs, quickly turning to see whether a threat was hiding, his heart pounding viciously in his chest as he gazed around a single bedroom that took up the entirety of the floor.
It was darker up here, but even in the poor lighting it was obvious: Suho was not here.
Which meant he may be out in the fighting itself, as unlikely as Minseok assured him it was. Seonghwa turned swiftly, leaping down the stairs in a single bound, bursting through the door and landing in the dirt, taking a single bound passed the still twitching wolves on the ground-
“Heh. Heh heh…”
Seonghwa froze, turning to see the grey wolf’s sides rising and falling with weak laughter, blood across the ground and his fur. But he still laughed.
Seonghwa approached slowly, the quiet chuckles wheezing out of his twitching form as Seonghwa stepped closer, chest taking on a dark feeling the closer he got.
“What?” He growled, voice low as he came into the bleeding wolf’s sights. “ What do you find so humorous?”
He resisted the urge to simply finish the job as the wolf looked up at him, unable to even move his head, but his eyes still looked on triumphantly. “ What… isn’t… fun-ny… about it?”
Seonghwa pressed a paw against his side, applying a slow pressure that made the wolf yelp as he relaxed off of him. “ Where is Suho?” He demanded, resisting the urge to just sink his claws into such an annoying creature. When he only got a weak chuckle in response, Seonghwa moved his paw the wolf’s throat, pressing down.
His amused eyes turned wide, tail twitching against the ground, but unable to even properly move in this position.
“I won’t ask again,” he snarled, lowering himself, rubies cutting against the wolf’s skin. “ So tell me before I truly make you regret your position.” His claws just barely pieced skin, making him yelp. “ Where… is Suho?”
The wolf’s eyes were shut tight, teeth bared, breathing labored…. And even through it all, Seonghwa heard the quiet wheeze of laughter.
The wolf cracked his eyes, triumphant, as if he had already won. Seonghwa’s stomach dropped. He giggled. “ Doesn’t… matter,” He wheezed, barely any breath to speak with. “ That little… bitch… is as good… as dead.”
That… little…?
Seonghwa crushed the wolf’s throat.
Seonghwa didn’t even see the trees flying past him. He didn’t feel his heart threatening to explode. Didn’t feel his breath piercing pain into his lungs as they burned.
Seonghwa had never experienced a blind fear.
The sort of fear that overtook everything, only allowing you to stare as your body did whatever it deemed necessary. He had no control over his paws that tore at the earth, dodging trees at dangerous speeds that barely let him see in the dark.
There was nothing in his mind.
But a single mantra.
Hongjoong. Hongjoong Hongjoong Hongjoong Hongjoong-
Hongjoong was slumped against a building, his head lolled to the side, pale against his torn shirt.
No.
Hongjoong’s leg was shredded, his light blue jeans torn and his boot in tatters. His hands were bloodied where they rested-
No.
Seonghwa’s leg caught on a low branch, sending him tumbling painfully, his back slamming into a trunk, jarring him violently for a moment, the breath knocked out of him.
Before he even took a breath, his legs were forcing their way beneath him again, shoving himself to his feet, already moving when the first breath tore through his lungs.
I froze up.
No, he begged, his mind racing with senseless fear. He had never been afraid like this. Not even when he had found Hongjoong torn up and still.
I was so… so fucking scared, I just let him maul me. I couldn’t… I couldn’t make myself move.
Please, no, he begged, crashing through foliage and bushes, burs and branches breaking against his skin. He could feel the itch of dried blood, the burning of his wounds that were like muted sensations. He couldn’t let this happen, he couldn’t, he-
The things… the things that turned me into this. This … freak of nature.
Not Hongjoong. Not after everything, not after Seonghwa had tried. He wasn’t any good, he was shit , but he had tried-
This omega with a god complex that can’t stand the thought of being so weak again…
He told Hongjoong he would keep him safe, he had promised that. He had promised so much, and hadn’t even bothered to realize he was lying, the lies slipping off his tongue in the worst way they could: genuinely.
But is still scared to death of the one person I vowed never to give the satisfaction.
Please.
He burst through the foliage, into the clearing around the camp, eyes searching desperately for anything, anyone, any sign of life, of death- Please-
He was frantic.
Please.
I froze. And he…he was going to kill me. The bitch omega that got away .
Please no. Let him make it right. Hongjoong trusted Seonghwa, he said he relied on him, don’t make him a liar-
Seonghwa tore through the huts, heading to Hongjoong’s where he and the pups were supposed to-
Seonghwa froze.
The flap to the tent was torn to shreds, parts of the leather and canvas hanging in shreds where claws had pierced.
No.
He stumbled forward a step and then broke into a sprint, reaching the tent in seconds, everything inside of him feeling like it was wilting and burning-
A chorus of cries met his ears as he reached the door, a group of five young pups huddling against the farthest wall, all of them pressed together, tear streaks and blood scattered across them.
At Seonghwa’s appearance, their cries grew tenfold, all of them scrambling away-
Seonghwa stared at them, his wolf melting away until he stood before them, trying to reassure them as they hesitated, recognizing him.
“Where’s Hongjoong?” he said, too rough, too demanding for their terrified eyes, but that wasn’t his concern. “Where is he? Did Suho-”
“He c-came,” one in the front said, their hand bleeding where he clutched at his chest. “He- Suho came to the camp- He- H-Hongjoong and he, th-they-” Tears gathered in his eyes falling slowly.
“What happened to Hongjoong?” Seonghwa demanded, but forcing his voice to smooth out, not quite so sharp. “Did Suho take him? Did one of them win the fight?”
Where was Hongjoong? What happened? Was he even still fucking alive-
“H-Hyung f-fought him,” another whispered. “H-He ran away, an-and Suho followed him-” He stopped to choke on a sob. “H-He told us to s-stay here-”
“Where?” Seonghwa asked desperately.
He was okay, at least at this point.
“Which direction did he run? Towards the woods? The hills?”
A couple of the pups glanced at each other, frowning in concentration, as if trying to remember. Come on, he wanted to beg. Time was ticking, it was ticking and Hongjoong was alone-
One of the pups in the back sat up, a shaking hand pointing in the direction of the back of the tent. “That way,” she murmured, tears falling slowly. “H-He ran towards the woods in t-that direction.”
Seonghwa felt cold fear and relief and drive shoot through him. “Okay,” he said, backing away. “I have to go after Hongjoong,” he said, hands placating and calm. “Stay here,” he ordered. “If someone from Exo shows up, all of you need to run, got it?”
They nodded frantically, eyes wide.
“Head towards the hills,” Seonghwa said, already halfway from the tent. “Keep running. You’ll eventually meet people from my pack, and they’ll keep you safe, understand?”
They nodded again, tears shining, and Seonghwa felt guilt for leaving them, but the camp was empty for now, and Hongjoong-
Hongjoong.
“I’ll be back,” he promised, giving them one last glance before black paws were tearing across the grass towards the woods.
The Western part of the woods…
Seonghwa frowned as he raced back into the tree. Hongjoong wouldn’t take Suho to that little hideaway, would he? There was nothing out there, nothing to give him the advantage.
Was he chased that way coincidentally? Or maybe he just ran without thinking.
He hadn’t frozen, Seonghwa comforted himself. He hadn’t frozen, he had run, he had fought, he was fighting-
Trees raced by until Seonghwa was reaching the edge of a familiar clearing filled with fallen trees.
He froze just inside of it, listening, his nose twitching in the silence of the clearing. It was quiet. Only the rustle of dark leaves to prick his ears.
Seonghwa’s eyes narrowed, the moonlight leaking through the trees guiding him as he walked in slowly. Had they gone further in? Had they begun this way, but gotten pushed farther West or East?
Seonghwa paused behind one large fallen tree, careful not to even make a leaf crunch beneath his paws, carefully sniffing the soft earth.
The scent of rain mixed with something salty, something-
Seonghwa recoiled from the second scent, lifting his nose to the air. The entire clearing smelled like Hongjoong, but he spent so much time here, it might-
A gentle breath reached his ears.
Seonghwa froze, muscles bunching.
A gentle whine.
Seonghwa’ blood froze in his veins.
Hongjoong.
He moved forward, peering around the edge of the tree, and even in the darkness he could make out the pure white wolf laying still on the ground that barely had any white that wasn’t stained vermillion.
Seonghwa felt something like a cry in his throat, as he moved forward, no one else in the clearing but Hongjoong who was breathing heavily, red soaking his coat.
No.
Hongjoong’s nose twitched.
“Seonghwa…”
Hearing his name almost made him hesitate, but Seonghwa rushed to his side, the scent of blood clogging his nose.
Hongjoong’s tail flicked agitatedly. “ Don’t…” His voice shook, a weak whisper. “ Seon- Seonghwa…”
Only a foot from Hongjoong, Seonghwa froze, body coming to an instinctive stop, body tensing as his ears pricked-
Something slammed into his back, knocking him forward, sending him tumbling through the soft earth, twigs and pine needles digging in as he quickly clawed himself to his feet.
And there, between Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s prone body, stood a massive grey and white wolf, eyes a blood red to match the patches around his coat that were too light to be his own blood.
His eyes glistened with amusement.
“Oh, this is much more fun,” Suho practically giggled. “ Would you like this better, Hongjoong? If I killed your mate first and made you watch?”
Hongjoong’s legs twitched, his eyes opening a murky silver to stare at Suho, hooded and afraid. “ D... Don’t touch… him…”
Suho’s wolf shook off his coat, almost giddy. “ But he so conveniently came all the way here to find you, Hongjoong,” he taunted. “ I’d hate to disappoint him and not give him the fight he so obvious wants.”
Suho’s amusement turned twisted, darker. “ I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting before,” he noted casually. “ But I’ve heard all about Hongjoong’s new, strong mate who despises everything he turned himself into.”
Seonghwa stomach twisted.
“Wouldn’t you rather I just take care of this for you?” He questioned, one paw jerking lazily towards Hongjoong who tried to get his claws to catch in the dirt, tried to get up, to stand. “ I guarantee you, whatever you might find attractive in him isn’t worth it. Trust me, I had to deal with his attitude for so long-”
Suho suddenly found claws catching in the front of his chest, tearing without a care for what caught and what didn’t, the only intention was to hurt .
He was fast though, leaping away before Seonghwa could get more than a nasty scratch in, hissing as he glanced down at the blood dripping.
“Ha!” He laughed, lifting deadly eyes to Seonghwa who paced closer as Suho took more steps away, keeping a firm distance between them. “ You’re fast,” he said, almost impressed. “ I see why Hongjoong would choose someone so strong. When his own strength becomes so useless against the one bastard he wanted to use it agains-”
Seonghwa lunged again, Suho dodging his claws, but not expecting Seonghwa to leap the rest of the way, bodies colliding as Seonghwa tore and bit and fought .
Suho was massive, but he was fast, and before Seonghwa could even land an attack, his maw was whipping around Seonghwa’s claws, latching onto his shoulder-
He jerked away before he could sink them deeply, but the pain only acted as a reminder to the clotted wounds in his side and back from his other encounter. All of it was shoved away as he and Suho danced, closer and then farther, each of them almost taking turns attacking when an opening presented itself.
Neither of them were landing more than shallow scars in their furs.
“I almost wish I’d had you instead of him,” Suho chuckled, stalking closer to Seonghwa. “ You, at least, don’t whimper pathetically everytime I touch yo-”
Seonghwa lunged, and Suho danced away, laughing as Seonghwa only saw the wolf he just wanted to stop breathing already-
And somehow, in fighting for Hongjoong, Seonghwa had lost track of Hongjoong.
Suho leapt behind Seonghwa, and he whipped around, prepared for a rear attack, but instead, Suho was beside Hongjoong who had finally managed to half-stand, blood dripping in too-large splashes from his side.
Suho simply slammed a paw down on Hongjoong’s back, the omega crying out as he was pushed back to the ground, his other paw landing on Hongjoong’s neck.
Seonghwa snarled, racing forward-
Suho applied more pressure to his neck, a vicious recall to Seonghwa’s earlier attack, and Hongjoong let out a helpless whine that was cut short from the pressure against his throat, his back legs thrashing weakly.
Seonghwa froze, watching Suho nod, slowly releasing some of the pressure, Hongjoong’s side rising and falling rapidly as he looked at Seonghwa, murky silver eyes scared and wide and…
Apologizing.
“Now, we’re getting somewhere,” Suho said happily, claws pressing dangerously to his neck. “ So sad, finding two people whose only weakness is each other. Well, and me,” he ggigled . “It truly is such a waste of the power both of you had.”
“Seongh-”
Suho pressed on his neck again, cutting him off, and Seonghwa jerked forward, but stopping himself, Suho letting up just enough for Hongjoong to breathe.
“How much do you trust your mate, alpha?” Suho posed, nose high in the air in triumph. “ What would you do if I told you to leave? That I’d kill him here where we stand, unless you let us fight each other alone. Would you trust your little omega to be able to fight? Or would you stay and just hope you can attack faster than I can crush his windpipe?”
Seonghwa didn’t understand. Didn’t know what Suho wanted, what he was supposed to answer, what-
“Because, clearly, you’re more fond of your little omega than he is of you,” Suho said, as if this was an obvious fact. “ I mean, here you are risking your life to fight for him, and he can’t even bring himself to aid you. Look at your injuries- born from battle, all to get to this little bitch.”
Another ounce of pressure added, making Hongjoong’s eyes squeeze shut.
“And what does he have?” Suho demanded. “ Coward marks. He didn’t even fight me, even when I threatened to find you. He couldn’t even try and defend himself. He parted from those pups and ran.”
Hongjoong didn’t move.
Seonghwa didn’t want to risk even breathing, but his blood roared.
Because it didn’t matter.
Didn’t matter if Hongjoong did freeze, if he hadn’t lifted a fucking finger to defend himself against Suho, if he didn’t even lift his eyes to try and help Seonghwa-
That wasn’t Hongjoong’s responsibility. That wasn’t something Seonghwa expected from him.
But protecting Hongjoong, knowing he couldn’t bring himself to fight, that was something Seonghwa expected from himself.
Did he trust himself to attack faster than Suho could crush Hongjoong’s throat?
He didn’t trust himself enough to test it.
Hongjoong suddenly thrashed, his bottom half twisting violently, a choked snarl on his lips as he tried to twist, his murky silver eyes staining a deep red-
Suho tore his eyes from Seonghwa, lowering them to Hongjoong as he pressed harder-
Seonghwa lunged and he hit and he dug in his claws and he sank his teeth into whatever fucking part of Suho was closest, closing down and not caring if he ripped out the fucker’s heart-
Suho snarled, stumbling away, trying to shake Seonghwa off, Seonghwa’s hind legs dragging in the dirt, but his claws and teeth remaining resolutely sunk into Suho’s shoulders and chest-
But being so close to Suho had it’s disadvantages, and Seonghwa couldn’t stop the cry as teeth opened up a new wound in the scruff of his neck, piercing deep as Suho tore Seonghwa away, not caring for the skin he lost to the action.
Seonghwa was suddenly airborne, suspended in nothing for a split moment of stomach-dropping freefall, body slamming into a tree and falling too far of a distance to the ground.
He yelped, pain racing down his back, ending in his very claws, a shock of pain that paralyzed him as he tried to get his body to get back up-
Suho was suddenly above him, claws pinning Seonghwa down by his side, sinking claws into his ribs, making Seonghwa snarl, trying to get his limb to just move-
“I changed my mind,” Suho panted, his blood dripping down onto Seonghwa. “ I just want you dead now. You’re not worth the fun of it, same as Hongjoong. Disappointing, but maybe I’ll be quick with you, and make him watch the rest of his pack fall. I doubt he would lift a finger to save them. He certainly hasn’t seemed very eager to aid you, has he? Even his own mate?”
Seonghwa snarled, trying to think of something, anything to keep him busy, keep him talking, buy him time to think-
Claws tore open his side, and Seonghwa jerked in a silent cry, legs kicking but not obeying his order to attack-
Seonghwa suddenly felt fear stronger than the pain.
He couldn’t die. Because once he was done with Seonghwa, he was going to go for Hongjoong, for the others-
“I hope that bitch was worth it,” Suho snarled in disgust.
Teeth sank into Seonghwa’s neck, a snarl cutting off as muscle and bone was pierced, pain and numbness shooting through him, but he couldn’t die , he couldn’t , but he couldn’t move-
Suho suddenly roared in pain, teeth releasing Seonghwa and letting him fall back against the roots of the tree, stumbling backwards, thrashing this way and that-
Hongjoong clung to the other’s back, claws ripping at flesh as if trying to dig a whole in the wet earth, rubies in his eyes glowing in the darkness-
Too startlingly similar to when Hongjoong had nearly lost to his wolf in the square.
The same sort of raging apathy that didn’t care how painfully the person under you died as long as they were dead .
All it took was Suho rolling, and Hongjoong fell, rolling to his feet, as if he couldn’t feel the pain-
It lasted only one, shining moment before Hongjoong yelped, legs giving out from under him, red flickering from his eyes, blurring with murky silver that dripped with agony. He landed heavily on the ground, limp and chest heaving, red fading and body shaking, as if he couldn’t control his muscles anymore.
Suho stumbled a little, but stood, murderous eyes landing on Hongjoong as he forgot all about Seonghwa trying to get his mind to shut out the pain, to help, because Hongjoong-
Suho limped towards him, his entire back open and bleeding, dark red splashes coloring the forest floor as he made his way slowly to Hongjoong.
“You have officially outlived your amusement value,” Suho panted heavily, voice dragging like his paws against the dirt.
Hongjoong whined, eyes fearfully wide as his legs kicked, trying to find purchase on the ground, as weak as they were, eyes falling from Suho to landing on Seonghwa.
“I’m... sorry,” he whispered , hoarse and weak and wet as he watched blood drip slowly from Seonghwa’s neck, still not moving, still not even able to get to his feet-
“How sweet,” Suho cooed. “ Too bad it’s lost its fun.”
Suho laid a paw on Hongjoong’s bleeding side, the omega crying out, jerking in spasms that did nothing but add further pain.
Seonghwa couldn’t fight Suho.
He wasn’t strong enough, he wasn’t fast enough, he was too injured, he’d never even be able to hold him off to let Hongjoong run-
Guilt twisted in his stomach. He had assured Hongjoong that Suho was nothing but a bully. Chastised him for thinking the wolf stood a chance when here he was, immobile and trying to breath around the blood gathering in his throat.
They were both going to die here.
Seonghwa was just going to let his mate die, let Hongjoong die, because he was too weak to even get back on his feet.
They were going to die, together, in the middle of this forest that had once been such a safe haven for Hongjoong, a place where he could go without worrying about someone-
Seonghwa felt like a lightning bolt had just touched his heart, jump starting something and kicking his every sense into overdrive as he realized: he didn’t need to fight Suho.
It was agony.
But numb.
As if Seonghwa’s brain knew that he was inflicting such pain to his body, but couldn’t comprehend it as forced his legs beneath himself, swallowing every pained noise that tried to escape.
Please, he begged. Please, just follow.
Seonghwa stumbled away from Suho and Hongjoong, one of his legs refusing to take his weight as he limped away as quickly as he could, sparing only a glance over his shoulder.
Suho was watching him, something deliciously vicious glowing in his eyes.
“Well… even your mate abandoned you,” Suho taunted, laughing. “ He left you… Left you at my mercy to save himself.”
Hongjoong said nothing, and Seonghwa couldn’t look back again, couldn’t risk seeing his face.
“Well… Oh, this is a dilemma… But you’re not going anywhere,” he snickered. “ You’re as useless a newborn pup.” A quiet silence. “ Wait here, Hongjoong. I’ll do you one last favor, for old time’s sake, and get rid of that unfaithful mate you so desperately tried to forge an alliance with. See how well that worked, do you?”
Yes, please, Seonghwa begged silently, picking up speed. Just follow, leave him alone, just follow-
He risked one glance back through the trees, and saw Suho following him, slower than before, weighed down by his injuries, a predatory grin on his lips.
Please don’t be far.
Seonghwa hurried, listening to the snap and brush of leaves as Suho followed, picking up his pace as Seonghwa forced his battered limbs to keep going-
He stumbled, catching himself, but unable to keep in the pained yelp that echoed through the darkness that was suffocating.
“You truly are abandoning him?” Suho chuckled, voice dripping something acidic. “ Cold hearted, even for someone such as yourself, Seonghwa.”
Almost there, I have to be almost there-
“He was crying for you, you know.”
Seonghwa stumbled again, gritting his teeth and bobbing between trees, trying to put more distance between them.
“While he was laying there, just letting me shred him to his bones. He called for you. I honestly didn’t think you’d come, but then… then I heard you running through the woods, and I was so amused.”
Seonghwa broke through a row of thickets, panting and letting blood drip from his mouth, the taste overwhelming, coating his throat. He stood in the short clearing, no more than ten feet of clearing before a dark abyss that stretched forever.
“And then you risked so much for him… just to run away? You couldn’t even give him the dignity to watch him die?”
Seonghwa turned, his shoulder throbbing as he was forced to place his weight on it, backing up as far as he could manage.
Suho broke through the foliage, coming to stand in the clearing. His eyes glinted. “ Oh,” he tisked. “ Did Hongjoong not tell you about the gorge? Thought you could keep running forever?”
Seonghwa stopped, staring silently, and it wasn’t until now that he realized his chest hurt, his lungs struggling to take in air, as if trying to blow up a broken balloon.
Suho paused, chuckling. “ I truly wish I could have gotten to know you as much as I did Hongjoong. You seem much more interesting.”
Each mention of this monster’s time with Hongjoong made his blood boil painfully, but Seonghwa didn’t lung, didn’t attack. He winced, swallowing a cry as a fresh wave of pain hit his side, making him shift.
“But perhaps, you’re just as stupid, thinking you stood a chance,” Suho snickered. “ I can’t imagine what possessed you to think that bonding with him could have been good. When I knew him, he was so whiny .”
Seonghwa’s claws dug into the ground, part of the pain numbing with rage and adrenaline.
“He still begged and whined, as if that would save him.” He shook his head, limping forward another step. “ Let’s see if you’ll beg for your life, like he did.”
Suho raced forward, slower than before but still so fucking fast-
Seonghwa dug his claws in, shoving himself to the side at the last moment before Suho hit him, looking to see his body fall over the edge-
Suho dug his claws in, swinging towards Seonghwa, and suddenly Seonghwa was on the ground, blinded by a pain that followed a sickening crack in his side as Suho pressed his paw against it.
“How truly desperate,” he snarled, voice raging with anger that echoed in the clearing, teeth bared as he lowered himself to Seonghwa’s face, dripping blood. “ For you to think me stupid enough to fall over the edge all on my own. Like some raging bull. Never underestimate an enemy’s mind, Seonghwa. It’s a deadly mistake.”
Seonghwa couldn’t respond, trying to breath through the white hot pain that only grew with each burst of air he forced inside of himself, body paralyzed and bleeding.
No. No, not like this, not like this, Hongjoong was still out there, he was still going to kill Hongjoong-
A last ditch effort, Seonghwa forced his head up, teeth closing around the bottom of Suho’s jaw, catching his maw-
Suho recoiled, snarling, foot pressing harder, Seonghwa screaming-
A blur of stained-white and the weight on Seonghwa was gone, but the agony dimmed none. He forced his eyes open, trying to see through the blurred pain-
Seonghwa looked up in time for pure white and grey to tumble over each other, yelping, and then grey was slipping over the edge, a desperate claw digging into white and dragging-
Suho’s claw caught Hongjoong’s hind leg where he slid, pulling him with him as they both slipped over the edge, Hongjoong crying out, in fear, in pain, clawing-
“Seonghwa!”
Seonghwa didn’t remember moving, but he saw white slipping over the edge, into an abyss, heard his voice, his name, Hongjoong was calling for him-
Be there for him, for once in your pitiful life-
-and he was there, not breathing, not moving, his claws sunk into Hongjoong’s paws.
Hongjoong yelped, and Seonghwa flinched, feeling blood- Hongjoong’s blood- over his paws, but he couldn’t let him fall- he wasn’t strong enough to pull him up, he couldn’t let him fall-
There was the distant sound of yelps, far into the cavern beneath them-
Pull him up , Seonghwa screamed internally. Pull him up, he’s still over the edge-
The only thing between Hongjoong and an abyss was Seonghwa’s claws digging into his flesh, the rest of Seonghwa’s body limp and useless behind him, only acting as a deadweight against Hongjoong’s body pulling down towards the gorge.
Seonghwa’s vision was spotty, and he could barely see the white of his fur from the darkness around them. He felt Hongjoong slip another inch, and he sunk his claws deeper, Hongjoong biting back a whine, unable to actually pull him up, all of him focused on not letting go, don’t give in, don’t you dare let him fall-
He wasn’t strong enough to pull him up-
“Seonghwa…”
It was barely a whisper, scared and shaking, and Seonghwa blocked it out, too focused on keeping his grip.
“Pull yourself,” he begged Hongjoong, teeth gritting, pain wracking his limbs, his legs shaking, and he couldn’t let them give out, couldn’t let him fall- “ Pull yourself up, Hongjoong, please, please-”
He could not let him fall. He could not fail him here.
“I know it hurts but please-” He barely recognized his own voice. “ Just this last thing. One last thing, Hongjoong, and then it’s over, please, just-”
Don’t let go.
He felt Hongjoong’s paws flex, trying to pull, and he whimpered, falling slack again-
“Don’t!” Seonghwa begged, eyes clenching shut to keep his legs from giving way that threatened to give out, closer and closer to giving into the pain. “ Don’t fall, Hongjoong, please, you’re strong, be strong just one more time, one more time, I swear-”
“Help me,” Hongjoong cried weakly, eyes clenched shut with effort and pain, limbs shaking tangibly against him. “ Seonghwa, help me, I can’t-”
“Now!” Seonghwa burst, feeling the last of his strength leaving.
Seonghwa didn’t know where he kept getting the bursts of strength. But this one was like a weak trickle of a stream trying to fight a hurricane.
He pulled, hearing Hongjoong cry out as his claws pulled, hearing rock and stone scramble and give way beneath their feet, hearing his own blood roaring, hearing Hongjoong cry out again and again with each movement agonizing-
Feeling the exact moment his limbs gave out and Seonghwa collapsed to the ground, his claws dislodging, the weight of Hongjoong gone.
Open your eyes, he wanted to scream.
He couldn’t hear anything. Nothing but his own blood roaring and bubbling.
He couldn’t see anything. Nothing but darkness as his eyes refused to open. Or maybe they were open and he just couldn’t see.
He couldn’t feel anything. Nothing but pain and pain and agony coursing through him, each wound feeling like it was being reopened again and again.
He couldn’t taste anything. Nothing but blood.
He couldn’t smell anything. Nothing but salt and blood and agony and earth-
Earth… and rain… and woodsmoke-
Seonghwa wanted to move, to see, please, just let him see, let him see if Hongjoong made it, if he pulled himself up, if Seonghwa had let him go too soon, if his body was currently broken at the bottom of the gorge with Suho-
There .
It felt like someone…. Someone standing a million miles away, but staring at you. That prickle of skin, that smallest sensation of someone is looking, someone is watching, like the barest of feather-touches against your skin-
It was there. Just below his jaw.
It was cool, wet… It pressed against him weakly, just barely of breath of sensation.
But Seonghwa smelled earth and smoke overpower the blood for one shining moment.
And then, there was only darkness and silence.
~~~~~~~~
Yeosang shoved branches out of the way, his heart racing and throbbing in his throat as he ran through the trees.
Hongjoong, don’t you fucking dare be dead.
Seonghwa, I swear to God, if you let yourself be killed-
He almost wished he had let Wooyoung come, despite his injuries, but he refused to acknowledge that, leading the small team of least-wounded wolves through the trees, searching in the direction the pups had pointed them in. Minseok, especially, had a hard expression that let nothing through.
In Hongjoong’s clearing, there was only the scent of blood. Spots of it, splatters of it, trails of it-
“This way,” he ordered, not stopping for a moment, following the scent of blood and rain and wildflowers and salt. The three wolves with him had been miraculously quiet as they followed. Perhaps, because they didn’t want to be torn to shreds by the one leading them.
The blood was thicker in this trail, heavier as Yeosang felt his stomach twist further and further into sickness, not wanting to prepare himself, refusing to believe-
They were heading in the direction of the gorge.
He would not lose Hongjoong.
He would not let Seonghwa take a cowards way out of bonding.
He was going to drag their corpses back and reanimate them himself if he had to-
Yeosang leapt over the thicket and into the clearing of the gorge, eyes scanning-
In the pale morning light, two wolves laid in the dirt, pure white and blood red pressed under the jaw of midnight black and clotting dirt.
Yeosang froze, terrified to move.
It looked like a scene from those old tragedies, the two warriors fallen in battle together, laying together…
There was so much blood. Their faces lax and impassive. Hongjoong pressed to Seonghwa’s neck that was clotted with too much blood, tucked beneath his head, as if he had chosen to fall as close as he could-
All of it and more staining Hongjoong’s coat that pressed against Seonghwa.
One of the other wolves, one braver than Yeosang, moved forward, expression horrified as he approached. “ What happened here?” He whispered in horror, scanning their bodies.
Where was Suho? What had he done?
Minseok moved passed him, peering down the edge of the gorge.
The first wolf pressed his nose to Seonghwa’s neck.
“He’s alive!” He burst, head whipping up as he quickly raced around to press against Hongjoong. “ They’re both alive!”
“Get them both back to camp,” Yeosang barked, something unlocking from his chest. “ Now! ”
God, he wanted to cry and then sleep for a week.
The remaining wolves approached, helping get underneath the still bodies, getting them onto each other’s backs, making sure they were secure-
“Yeosang.”
He looked up, seeing Minseok by the gorge, looking over it with heavy eyes.
He moved over quickly, eyes trailing along the heavy pools of dried blood in the dirt, the places where it was obvious rock had fallen away at the edge, the claw marks in the earth-
He looked over with Minseok. Directly against the wall of the gorge was blood smeared, dark and thick, lessening the further down you looked before disappearing.
“You think…”
“I can smell Suho,” Minseok assured him. The gorge was too deep to truly see the bottom this early in the morning. “ We should have people look into it when it’s light enough. But I’m… I’m sure he’s down there. Is there any way to survive this fall?”
Yeosang’s mouth tasted like bitter herbs. “ Not that we’ve ever seen. The few wolves and pups who have fallen here never made it out alive.”
“We should still check to be sure,” Minseok said quietly.
Yeosang nodded slowly, anxiety and fear coiling tight in his chest. “ For now, we need to make sure Hongjoong and Seonghwa don’t follow him, okay?”
Minseok nodded, tearing his eyes away after another moment.
“Are you… okay?” Yeosang questioned as they followed the others rushing away with the bodies of their friends. “ With everything? You and Jongdae were eager to help us, but it was still your pack-”
“We don’t regret anything,” Minseok said firmly, eyes still hard. “ Those who still had a soul left inside of them turned to our side when asked. Those that didn’t… well, there wasn’t anything worth saving left in them.”
Yeosang could tell there was something more complex going on within the alpha, but he nodded anyway. It wasn’t something he could help with, even if it was something deeper than he said.
Those two laying as still as death, though… they were a different story.
But Yeosang wouldn’t feel relief in his soul until they had Suho’s body dragged up from the gorge to display before Hongjoong like a fucking trophy.
Notes:
Dun dun dun!!!
This was so much fun to write~~ let me know if anything was confusing, and let me know what you thought about it!
I have the rest of the fic almost completely written, so the schedule should stay pretty quick?
But thank you so much for reading!!
-SS
Chapter 4: Instinct to Heal
Notes:
I debated whether or not to wait with this chapter, since there was some issues with the last one not showing up in the Ateez tag, but I figured it was best to keep a consistency...
(Are the quick updates too much? Are they overwhelming or is it nice to have it out so quickly? People can read at their leisure, but I’ve been wondering it....)
This one was great to write too! I hope you all enjoy it!
Let me know what you thought and have an amazing day!
-SS
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hongjoong woke up to an ache in every crevice of his body.
He woke to a dim light around him, staring up at familiar canvas and leather that had stitches in it that weren’t so familiar, something soft wrapped around him, keeping him a comfortable warm.
He blinked slowly, feeling like he was still hovering between sleep and waking.
“Oh, good, you’re awake. I was beginning to worry.”
Hongjoong blinked slowly, tilting his head, feeling his neck ache and pinch, making him hiss. It took a moment for his eyes to focus, and he stared at a stranger sitting beside his mat, a steaming pot beside him.
No, not a stranger. Eden. From Seonghwa’s pack.
Hongjoong frowned slightly. What was-
“You gave everyone quite a scare,” he said calmly, standing and retrieving a cup from the shelf, moving back to the steaming pot. “Well, you both did, but your wounds were a bit more substantial, even if they were lower in number. You’ve been unconscious for a while, and I was just beginning to be concerned. I knew you would pull through, though.”
He poured steaming liquid into the cup as Hongjoong tried to process his fast words.
“Of course, I felt horribly guilty,” Eden assured him, setting the cup aside, soft eyes appraising him. “I tried to organize our pack to come to your aid, but there was a small spat about why we should help, with Seonghwa’s absence, but those wolves were taken care of swiftly. However, we were still only fast enough to get here to aid in the aftermath. Not much help to your pack, I’m sorry.”
Hongjoong swallowed around his dry and aching throat, fire burning through his muscles. “You talk… too fast.”
Eden chuckled, shifting forward towards the mat. “Sorry, I’ll slow down a little. Help me sit you up.”
Hongjoong winced, but was able to control the discomfort as Eden braced a hand behind his head, holding the cup to his lips. It was some sort of tea that tasted like boiled dirt.
He choked a little as Eden lowered his head back onto the pillow, providing a little relief as his throat burned down to his stomach as the tea drained down. “W-What is that?” he coughed.
Eden chuckled lightly. “Just something to help you sleep. It’ll help your wolf heal faster, too. Don’t worry,” he said, before Hongjoong had even processed his first sentences, “you’ll only sleep through the night. You’ll be up bright and early tomorrow morning, and we’ll talk about everything with everyone, okay? Seonghwa’s been a bit worried.”
It hurt it hurt, God, it hurt-
Get to Seonghwa.
I can smell him, I can sense him, he’s close-
Claws and dirt and agony-
He collapsed into wildflower and rose and blood, breathing, pressing closer, crying into the scent of blood, begging that they make it, don’t let them die here-
Even the shield of floral meadows couldn’t stop the hopelessness that crushed his heart as he cried into Seonghwa’s neck, lulled into unconsciousness by rainy meadows that somehow had become comforting-
Hongjoong blinked, his eyes getting heavy. “S-Seon-”
“He’s alright,” Eden assured him, something in his eyes softening. “Focus on yourself for now. You’ll see him when you wake, I promise.”
Hongjoong wanted to see him now, to see what Suho had done, what he had-
Suho.
Seonghwa.
The gorge.
Hongjoong thought he was fighting the urge to sleep, but maybe he secretly thanked it for dragging him back into darkness. Anything to stop the hurricane tearing his mind apart.
Anything to just stop thinking about the pain.
The guilt.
~~~~~~~~
Hongjoong did not see Seonghwa when he woke up.
He saw Yeosang, Wooyoung, Minseok, Jongdae, and Eden-
Everyone but Seonghwa.
“He’s sleeping right now,” Eden told him regretfully. “He spends most of his day sleeping, but he usually lasts until the afternoon. When he wakes, you can see him, but he’s okay, I promise you.”
Hongjoong was propped against pillows, resting against them completely as his muscles refused to flex to hold himself up. He stared at the group of wolves before him, all of them bandaged in some way or another. Yeosang and Minseok with minor bites and scratches. Wooyoung’s arm was heavily bandaged, held in place with a cloth sling. Jongdae’s neck and sides were wrapped in thick cloths, but all of them were alive.
“How many?” Hongjoong asked.
Yeosang’s eyes were icy grey. “Ten of our own,” he said heavily. “And everyone but fifteen of Suho’s. Most of those that agreed to turn to our side were Minseok and Jongdae’s friends. If we hadn’t had so many, it would have been worse.”
Hongjoong bit his tongue. Ten people dead. That was a reality he would need to go through later. He ached inside and out, and he couldn’t deal with what that fact would do to him.
He had stayed behind. While ten of his people were dying.
“What happened?” Hongjoong murmured. “All I know is that not long after you left, Suho showed up. I tried to lead him-”
Claws tore at his side, the cries of the pups behind him making enough adrenaline flood to Hongjoong’s frozen limbs that had been limp on the ground. The cries made Hongjoong strong enough to tear out of the hold, racing towards the woods, ensuring he could see Suho chasing him, hunting him, looking so fucking pleased to be playing their old game-
He flinched. “I lead him away from the camp, but he… he…” He swallowed. “Seonghwa showed up after that.”
“We heard his side of the story,” Wooyoung assured him. “He headed straight here after he found out Suho had run from the fight.”
Hongjoong shoved the entire ordeal from his mind. “What happened while he was gone?”
Yeosang glanced at their two spies. “We fought,” he said simply. “Anyone who wouldn’t change sides, we fought. At first, we had the upper hand, but once they realized what was happening, it was… not quite so in our favor.”
“We were trying to find those that we were sure would turn to our side,” Jongdae said, rubbing his side. “A couple of them refused, anyway. But those that agreed… they’re the reason we won.”
“Our pack didn’t show up until the fight was almost over,” Eden said heavily. “We were useless to you, despite our promises. I’m sorry.”
“They had enough people to help in getting the wounded back,” Yeosang said, as if absolving him. Eden glanced at him skeptically. “And they were an extra pair of hands to keep everything running. They helped enough,” he assured Hongjoong, as if vouching for them.
Claws dug into his leg, dragging him back, Hongjoong feeling the moment his hindlegs fell off the edge, dragging him down with the wolf still holding on-
“What of Suho?” he questioned, mouth tasting worse than Eden’s tea could ever make it.
He almost was afraid to hear.
Minseok’s eyes were steely. “A few of Exo’s old wolves and I went to the gorge to scope it out.”
Hongjoong held his breath, chest aching.
“He’s dead.”
Jongdae’s face was that of someone who knew a death must occur, but took no pleasure in it. All of them looked similar.
Minseok nodded. “We already burned the body. Yeosang and the others were only too glad to help.”
“I wanted to keep him as a fucking trophy for your tent,” Yeosang spat, eyes flashing.
Wooyoung’s hand found his wrist, rubbing it gently, not glancing away from Hongjoong. “We decided it was best to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Sorry if that took some form of closure from you. But it’s done.”
Hongjoong never wanted to see that fucking monster again in his fucking life. Yeosang had seen to it, and that meant that it was… it was over.
Suho was gone. The monster that had haunted Hongjoong for more than half his life… finally eradicated.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, voice hoarse and eyes beginning to sting. “All of you- Even though I- I couldn’t-” His visions blurred with hot tears. He ducked his head. “I couldn’t even-”
“Hongjoong.”
Yeosang’s hand wrapped around his small ones that were heavily bandaged with claw marks through the top of them.
Seonghwa’s claws.
His eyes were icy, but through the clear ice he could see something deeper.
“You fought,” Yeosang said firmly, squeezing his hand, even if it hurt a little. “You fought harder than any of us.”
He had frozen. He had run. And he had been beaten until Seonghwa showed up to save him.
And he had the audacity to be offended when Seonghwa had treated him like nothing more than a weakling omega.
Hongjoong tried to take his hand away. “I-”
“You faced Suho,” Yeosang assured him, grip tight, eyes firm. “You helped Seonghwa. You protected the pups- You fought , Hongjoong. Despite all your fears, you still faced him.”
Not in a way that mattered. He had laid there, whimpering like a useless pup, while Seonghwa fought for him…
Seonghwa fought for him…
For him.
“Most of the injured are healed beyond danger by now,” Eden told him, continuing on, which Hongjoong was grateful for. “Those worse off are still weak, but everyone is going to be fine. The only two who were in a dicey situation were you and Seonghwa. Everything else is fine.”
Hongjoong wanted to laugh. To cry. To embrace them all. To throw them out. To scream.
There was everything and nothing at the same time warring in his chest, his mind a whirlwind of pain and relief and fear and-
Seonghwa, Suho, the others, Exo, packs, coward, fighting, claws and teeth and blood-stained roses laying in earth and smoke-
Everything was fine, but nothing was okay.
Not yet, it wasn’t.
And maybe not ever.
~~~~~~~
Seonghwa stood, shedding the sleeping clothes he had been using, and pulling on borrowed clothing from some other wolf in the camp.
There was a gentle knock on the door of the medical hut, and he turned slowly to keep from twinging any of his still-aching injuries. They were healed enough for him to move, but it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
“Come in.”
Yeosang pushed the door open, not even bothering to enter completely. “He’s awake at the same time as you, finally,” he said quietly, eyes a mask of hidden emotions. “You should go visit him. He’s been asking about you.”
Seonghwa hummed, staring down at his bare feet that were still trying to heal the bruises and aches on them.
“You don’t want to.”
He didn’t look up at Yeosang, the other alpha sighing quietly, stepping inside completely, the door swinging shut behind him softly.
“Why?” Yeosang asked, sounding like this was going to a long talk, but his voice was gentle. “It’s been days, Seonghwa, you said you wanted to see-”
“I know what I said,” Seonghwa said heavily, not looking at the other. “That doesn’t mean I should.”
“Why on earth would you not?” Yeosang asked, voice tinging towards exasperated. “You both almost died , Seonghwa-”
“ I know that !” he snapped, looking up to glare at Yeosang. “You think I haven’t been replaying that in my mind since I woke up?”
Yeosang was not swayed, arms crossing tightly. “You think you’re the only one worried?” he demanded. “Hongjoong hasn’t stopped asking about since he woke up. Last he knew, you were both going to die. He wants to see-”
Seonghwa huffed, running a hand through his hair, stomach and chest and mind churning and whirling sickeningly. Yeosang couldn’t understand.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Hongjoong- he did . Everything inside of him- from his wolf to his rationale was screaming for him to run to Hongjoong.
He wanted to actually see that all the wounds and blood had been healed, that he was no longer a body growing cold next to his, that Suho hadn’t actually dragged him over the edge and Seonghwa was having some weird fever dream-
But how could he?
“I can’t,” he muttered darkly, chest twisting painfully.
After everything he had almost failed?
“Not after everything I’ve done.”
After everything he had caused and allowed- from the very moment he had seen Hongjoong until Suho dragging him over the edge of a gorge.
“How am I supposed to face him?” he demanded, aching fists clenching.
How, when Seonghwa hadn’t even been strong enough to just get his shit together and kill Suho before he could hurt Hongjoong like that?
When Seonghwa couldn’t even gather the strength to pull Hongjoong up, relying on the other to save himself while Seonghwa stood by, fucking weak when he had ridiculed the other so assuredly about the weak omega compared to the strong alpha that couldn’t even protect his mate -
“God, you’re stupid.”
Seonghwa turned, glaring, but Yeosang didn’t appear to care in the slightest, face bordering between annoyed and exasperated.
He opened his mouth, prepared to argue, but suddenly waved a hand. “No,” Yeosang muttered, rubbing at his face. “No, I’m not going to sit here and point out everything wrong with that- we don’t have all day.”
He looked up, glaring at Seonghwa with a heat that startled him, voice hardening into granite.
“Get your self-pitying head out of your ass, and realize that this is bigger than your little pity party ,” he spat. “Hongjoong has been waiting to hear word that his mate isn’t dead in the woods, and if you think you’re doing anyone any favors by refusing him that, I’m going to rip your knot off myself, you pretentious prick .”
Seonghwa felt like he had just been slapped- a minor pain compared to the rest, but a startling, sharp one.
“You-”
“I don’t want your fucking excuses!” Yeosang snapped. “Stop moping about what a shit mate you were, and actually do something to fix it !” He stepped forward, and Seonghwa actually took a step back. “The world isn’t going to forgive you just because you express regret- I’m never going to forgive you like that! You have to fucking do something, Seonghwa. Change ! And right now, that entails being there for your mate who almost died in your fucking arms!”
Seonghwa flinched, another half step away-
Earth… and rain… and woodsmoke-
Seonghwa wanted to move, to see, please, just let him see, let him see if Hongjoong made it, if he pulled himself up, if Seonghwa had let him go too soon, if his body was currently broken at the bottom of the gorge with Suho-
Yeosang stepped aside, pointing to the door. “Now, go ,” he snapped. “And don’t fucking leave until the two of you work out whatever changes happened that you never discussed because you’re both headasses .”
Seonghwa…
Seonghwa obeyed.
Yeosang exited with him, slamming the door behind them, and Seonghwa took one moment to glance back, eyes heavy. “Wooyoung’s doing better?”
Yeosang eyed him, as if trying to see if he was buying time, but even if he was, he indulged him. “He’s being whiny about the checkups, but he’s getting the bandages off completely tomorrow.”
And maybe… maybe that was why Seonghwa asked.
Because, subconsciously or not, he saw Yeosang’s face relax- the tiniest, smallest, most miniscule bit- at the mention of his mate’s health. Carving slightly from marble into something softer- a hard clay, perhaps. Something gentler, more fond…
And maybe that gave Seonghwa a little bit of comfort.
He wasn’t sure why.
Seonghwa nodded slowly, turning away and walking towards Hongjoong’s tent.
“Seonghwa.”
He turned, and Yeosang stared, hard as marble again.
“I warned you what would happen if you brought harm to him, didn’t I?”
Seonghwa nodded slowly, remembering that night vividly.
Yeosang’s fist clenched by his side. “I haven’t acted on that yet, have I?”
Well, Seonghwa still had all his immediate limbs attached, and his extremities untouched, so he shook his head.
“Think about that,” Yeosang told him, turning and walking back towards his and Wooyoung’s tent.
Seonghwa watched him go, eyes narrowed until Yeosang was out of sight, and he continued on towards Hongjoong’s tent- slow and heavy, as if his legs were still bound in casts.
Their wolves’ advanced healing were useful, but could only so much against so much damage. Most of Seonghwa’s most serious injuries had been healed, but everything still ached and twinged with each movement.. His ribs, especially, from where Suho had crushed them, protested with each step.
It was easily ignored though, compared to the ache in his chest that felt like a knife slowly being twisted.
He stopped outside Hongjoong’s tent.
Maybe he had already fallen back to sleep. Maybe Seonghwa should check and ensure with Eden that Hongjoong was fit enough for visitors (despite Yeosang telling him about their daily visits). Maybe-
Before he could lose his nerve, he braced himself, grabbing the tent flap and tearing it aside, forcing his legs to carry him forward in the tent as the flap fell closed behind him.
Hongjoong paused, stiff, where he stood in the center of the tent, a shirt half buttoned as he dressed himself.
Seonghwa stared for a split moment, eyes falling on the white bandages wrapped across Hongjoong’s chest until Hongjoong grabbed the two pieces of his shirt still open and pulled them together. His expression was unreadable. “You didn’t knock,” he said, voice a little bitter, a little angry.
His eyes looked like Before. Like back in Seonghwa’s pack. Bitter and hard and unforgiving.
Seonghwa spun around quickly, wishing he had the courage to just run. “Sorry,” he muttered under his breath. “I- I didn’t mean-”
“You can turn around.”
Seonghwa did so, slowly, and Hongjoong had his shirt fully buttoned, hanging lose around his pants. He stared at Seonghwa with… surprising displeasure twisting his mouth.
Seonghwa suddenly couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
Hongjoong waited for several heartbeats before crossing his arms, lips pressing together. “Did you have anything to say when you burst into my tent like that?”
And, there. Seonghwa saw it. The uncomfortable shift as Hongjoong crossed his arms, the resolute expression where his lips pressed together- he was nervous. Maybe even scared. But he refused to show it.
Seonghwa’s mouth was dry. “You’re okay.”
And Hongjoong’s expression closed off even further as he turned away, busying himself with straightening things on the desk that weren’t out of place.
“Yeah,” he said, voice too bitter to be genuine. “I managed to get all nice and healed up after the royal beating I took.” He paused where he picked up a paperweight, holding it tightly for a moment before placing it back down. “I’m glad you seem to be alright.” Stiff. Angry.
Seonghwa didn’t like this. Didn’t like it at all.
“Eden is a good healer. He works miracles.”
Hongjoong hummed stiffly.
“How do you feel?” Seonghwa questioned, taking a hesitant step forward.
Hongjoong scoffed, not looking at him. “I promise, Seonghwa, I’m not going to start sobbing over all the bad things that happened to me.” He slammed a book down. “I know I fucked up. I froze, I was useless, and even after all of that, you still had to come save my ass when I couldn’t get it together, even when you getting the shit beaten out of you. So, I’m sor- ”
“ Hongjoong .”
The omega flinched, turning to Seonghwa with his mask shattered to pieces, looking at Seonghwa as if he expected him to… to…
Seonghwa bit his tongue, cursing the sharp way he came out. But the horror pulsing in his mind was… indescribable. Because Hongjoong thought Seonghwa found him weak. Useless.
He stared at Hongjoong in shock. “Hongjoong, I’m not… I- How could you-”
Well. What reason had Seonghwa given Hongjoong to think the best of him? What had he done to warrant the benefit of the doubt?
He wet his lips, feeling like this was maybe too much too soon as Hongjoong looked away, glaring at his bandaged hands as he started stacking books rapidly.
Seonghwa watched him, chest sinking lower. “Hongjoong,” He said, slowly, letting his thoughts come through coherently. “I… didn’t come here to call you weak,” he said, voice almost failing at the absurdity of it all. “I didn’t come to berate you- or God forbid I ever call you useless.”
Hongjoong slammed another book down, moving the stack only a foot to the right as Seonghwa’s words almost seemed to make it worse.
“Hongjoong, I don’t know what you thought I thought of our fight with Suho but it’s-”
Another slam.
“-it’s clearly not what I was-”
Slam .
Seonghwa was suddenly beside Hongjoong, hands wrapping around his bandaged ones gently, holding them in place to stop another book from being slammed down. Hongjoong looked up, looking ready to snap, but his voice faltered, hands shaking inside of Seonghwa’s.
He looked like everything was hanging by a thread.
Seonghwa stared at him, wondering what the hell had happened that… that all of this had gone so fucking wrong, since the beginning.
“It’s clearly not what I was actually thinking,” Seonghwa said gently, taking the book from Hongjoong carefully, setting it down quietly, but keeping his hands around Hongjoong’s feeling the thick bandages covering the wounds that he had put there.
Hongjoong’s open eyes closed off slightly, as if waiting for the sting to reach his skin. “Well, then, what were you thinking?” he demanded, voice shaking only a little. “While I was laying there- when Suho taunted and attack you and I did nothing -”
“I was thinking that I didn’t want you to be hurt,” Seonghwa broke in, watching the way Hongjoong’s eyes flickered. He wanted to hold his hands tighter, but didn’t dare almost hurt him. “And that I was going to rip that monster apart for everything that he did and had done to you.”
Hongjoong blinked, an innocent, genuine disbelief passing over his eyes. His mouth opened, but nothing came out, brow furrowing, as if confused as to why he wasn’t actually saying anything.
“Y-You…” Hongjoong voice came out a breath, and Seonghwa set his jaw, teeth grinding slightly.
“Hongjoong… I told you before,” he said, voice firm and strong and icy. “I have never met someone as strong as you. And you only reinforced that tenfold after that night.”
Seonghwa had never been good at… talking. At voicing the changes he had felt in his chest, but after everything, he didn’t dare feel embarrassed over something so… so simple.
Something he should have done and said since the beginning. From the moment Hongjoong proved himself by pinning Jay beneath his boot. From that point on, if Seonghwa was reasonable, he should have accepted Hongjoong.
Hongjoong opened his mouth. Closed it. “I-” He swallowed, looking down at Seonghwa’s gentle hands hold his own injured ones. “I sat there ,” he hissed, Seonghwa watching the way his eyes darkened. “I sat there… even after he hurt you, even when he almost killed you, I still just sat by-”
“If you’ll recall,” Seonghwa murmured quietly, heavily, “you had also been injured.”
“Because I couldn’t even defend mysel- ”
“ And if you’ll recall ,” Seonghwa spoke over him, covering his hands further with his own, the back of his mind noting how much smaller they were, even wrapped in thick bandaging. His eyes softened. “There were several moments that night where you saved my life.”
Times when Seonghwa had been too weak to even stand and defend, times when he had relied on Hongjoong, knowing his fear, but he forced him to face it when he should have allowed him all the freedom to recoil how he pleased.
Seonghwa… hadn’t realized just how much Hongjoong despised his own reaction to Suho. How much it haunted and disgusted him- the fact that he felt fear and reacted to that.
Hongjoong tried to recoil. “I should have been fighting beside you-”
“You were scared-”
“ Exactly !”
“And fought him anyway ,” Seonghwa said firmly, pulling Hongjoong closer, looking into his eyes that were trying so hard to flicker red, to be angry, but all that came up was a sad, open gaze that made Seonghwa want to wrap around him once more. “You still stood, you still attacked him- You faced your greatest fear to aid me. One time or a hundred times, Hongjoong, it still makes you bravest person I have ever met. The strongest one.”
Hongjoong swallowed, looking uncomfortable, not quite able to meet his eyes, as if the statement didn’t sit right with him.
Seonghwa’s heart sunk to his stomach. “I should have done a better job of protecting you.”
Hongjoong did recoil, glaring. “Seonghwa, you can’t possibly-”
“I promised you, Hongjoong,” he said firmly, letting Hongjoong tear his hands away, taking a step away, leaving Seonghwa feeling like he was standing alone on a rock slowly sinking. “I promised I would protect you, but I couldn’t. Even when our lives depended on it, I wasn’t strong enough to-”
“Get your head out of your ass,” Hongjoong snapped, flicking back to that fire that wasn’t fueled by anger, but fueled by determination. “No one could ever look at what you did for me and think it was inadequate. You risked everything for me-”
“After I rejected everything of you,” Seonghwa stated, stomach twisting. Hongjoong drew up short. “I told you in the forest, Hongjoong- I cannot vocalize how disgusted I am for the way I treated you- someone I had worn to protect, to stand beside- simply because I was too proud to admit that you were right .”
Seonghwa tasted something sour in his mouth. What good had pride done for him? It had no place here.
Hongjoong opened his mouth, but Seonghwa beat him to it. “I hurt you,” he said, voice dropping low. “More than just during the fight with Suho. More than you had any right being hurt.”
I warned you what would happen if you brought harm to him, didn’t I?
Seonghwa almost had to laugh. Did Yeosang seriously mean that he didn’t think Seonghwa had hurt Hongjoong?
I haven’t acted on that yet, have I?
Ridiculous. From the moment they met, ridiculous.
“You were bleeding and terrified and broken , Hongjoong,” Seonghwa said quietly, eyes open and cloudy. “And you still fought Suho.”
Hongjoong clenched his jaw, eyes glassy and trying so hard to be angry. “I…” His voice was rough. “I lost to my wolf for a moment,” he said, like an excuse.
“Why do your eyes turn red?” Seonghwa asked quietly. The question had been gnawing at him, and it almost seemed useless to know why, now. But still he asked.
Hongjoong rolled his lips stiffly. “We… don’t really know,” he said, voice coming out like a broken disc. “Yeosang and I thought it might be like… an adaptive feature… from when I was with Suho. Even if I’m not an alpha… I guess my body thought it could act like one and scare people off.” He snorted bitterly. “Didn’t work.”
“Why did you lose to your wolf?” Seonghwa murmured. The only time he had seen was when a member of his pack was harmed. “Why then?”
Hongjoong looked torn between anger and fear. “I… I couldn’t let him kill you. I didn’t… I didn’t want to lose you.”
Seonghwa almost laughed. Why?
But then his stomach sank and his blood boiled.
“The thought of Suho killing you,” Seonghwa said quietly. “The thought of you being faced with him… and dying because of him…” Seonghwa fists curled by his side, and he didn’t meet Hongjoong’s eyes. “I have never wanted someone dead more than that monster,” He hissed, blood flowing quicker at the very thought of him.
Of the things he had threatened Hongjoong. Of the things he had done to Hongjoong. Treating it like a game, as if Hongjoong were his favorite plaything, his prized trophy-
“Why?”
Seonghwa looked up at Hongjoong, who met his eyes fearlessly, frowning in confusion. His mouth was dry.
“Why what?”
Hongjoong wet his lips. “Why did you want him dead so badly?”
Why?
Of course. Because Seonghwa didn’t care for Hongjoong. Seonghwa hated him and his backwards pack, so why would Seonghwa care if Suho finished him off?
Seonghwa didn’t look away, didn’t allow himself the ease of breaking eye contact, forcing himself to look Hongjoong in the eye, his body stiff and his anger simmering dangerously. “Because he hurt you.”
Hongjoong’s eyes darkened, as if he didn’t believe Seonghwa.
“He hurt you,” he said, voice dark. “And he taunted you… and he treated your fear and your pain as a game he could play, and I-”
He broke off, jaw threatened to crack with his hard he clenched it.
“And I wanted him to suffer for that.”
Hongjoong stared at him, eyes scanning his face before turning away.
Seonghwa’s stomach dropped. “I meant it before, Hongjoong,” He said firmly, taking a step forward. “I’ve been a horrible mate. I’ve mistreated you and ignored you, and I have no right to feel protective over you.” His fists clenched, jaw tightening. “I had no right to demand revenge for a monster that hurt you . I have no right to stand in front of you now and even ask you how you’re feeling .”
Hongjoong stopped his pacing, slowing to a halt, but not facing Seonghwa still.
He felt sick.
His fist shook, something almost like desperation bubbling in his throat. “But I do,” he whispered, chest aching. “I do feel protective over you.”
And it seemed so disgusting, to feel this way after everything, but something had changed- from respect to something else- and Seonghwa felt something inside of him, instinctively demanding that he stop the things threatening Hongjoong.
It was too sudden, given their fights only days ago. Too much of a rapid change, but Seonghwa couldn’t deny the urge inside of him to take Hongjoong away and tuck him away where these demons would stop hunting him.
Seonghwa’s mouth was dry. “I wanted to protect the part of you I saw before- the omega who didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of him. The part that snarked and disobeyed and wreaked havoc for no reason other than you felt like it. That freedom… that spark…”
The one thing of Hongjoong that had irritated him to no end before now only shone as some sort of precious flame that Seonghwa couldn’t bear to see snuffed out.
“I didn’t want to see you lose that. I wanted to kill Suho in the worst ways I could imagine. I wanted to get revenge for you… for him taking that from you. And maybe…” He swallowed. “Maybe that makes me the shittiest person on this planet… but know that I don’t expect you to allow me that.” He shook his head heavily. “I’ve done nothing to deserve that.”
There was a long silence where he didn’t look up at Hongjoong.
“You fucking idiot .”
Seonghwa looked up sharply, neck aching at the swift movement, and his eyes landed on Hongjoong’s back that was turned to him, his shoulders shaking slightly.
Seonghwa took an instinctive step forward, but Hongjoong turned, eyes red even as tears slipped down his cheeks.
“What kind of asshole sits there and- and expects me to be angry because he wanted to f-fucking protect me?” Hongjoong demanded, voice breaking at the end as stormed forward a couple of steps. “Am I supposed to sit here and tell you to fuck off?” he demanded. “Is that what you want?”
Seonghwa stared at him, swallowing thickly as he resisted the urge to lift his hand and brush the tears off his skin.
“No,” Seonghwa breathed, unable to look away from Hongjoong’s heartbreaking anger. “That isn’t what I want at all.”
“Then what ?” Hongjoong demanded, blinking and more streaks cascading down his cheeks. “Why did you come in here? Why did you say all that stuff in the woods before the fight?”
Why did he do it? Why was he here now? Why had he been so anxious to see Hongjoong, to protect him? Why did he chase after him relentlessly, despite knowing he wanted nothing to do with him?
Why did he hurt at seeing him hurt?
Seonghwa took a slow, hesitant step forward that Hongjoong didn’t react to. “I want… you to allow me to stay with you.”
Hongjoong scoffed, rolling his eyes, more tears falling as he blinked to clear them. “You already bonded with me,” he muttered, looking away. “It’s already final.”
“No,” Seonghwa breathed. Seonghwa didn’t know where the words were coming from. Where the actions were being told to happen.
He wasn’t thinking right now. Because he couldn’t think of a single thing to say that would matter. So he just let instinct take over, following the pinch in his gut that demanded he do something .
Another short step closed the final foot between them until they were almost touching. Hongjoong didn’t recoil, looking up into Seonghwa’s eyes defiantly. “No… you bonded with me for politics,” Seonghwa whispered. “And I bonded with you for face.”
He felt sick saying it now.
“I bonded with you, intending to spend as little time with you as possible, letting us exist in two different spheres. The less time we spent together, the better.”
Hongjoong’s eyes cracked, but did not break.
“And when you kept forcing yourself into my sphere, I fought you, trying to shove you back into your own- your pack, your issues, your misguidances.” He swallowed. “Until…”
Hongjoong’s jaw flexed, waiting for Seonghwa, like watching a prey before pouncing in anger.
“Until I kept seeing you,” he admitted, the words tumbling out without thought. “And I kept seeing you, again and again , and I… I started to respect you. Respect what you had done, what you had built, what… what you had changed.”
Hongjoong’s expression shifted, something more surprised, as if that was the last thing he expected Seonghwa to say.
“And I don’t know when, but the respect changed to something different. And I- I don’t know when it happened, but at some point… the thought of all you had faced, all you had endured- even at the hands of my own pack…” He shook his head, nose curling in self-disgust. “It was unbearable to think about.
Hongjoong swallowed.
“And I suddenly wanted… to stop that from happening. I wanted to stop Suho from hurting you farther, and I wanted to be able to shield you from everything…”
His tongue stumbled over itself, his mind a blank white noise of panic and fear because it would be so easy for Hongjoong to stop listening and walk away.
“ Not because I think you’re weak, Hongjoong,” he said quickly. He felt ill, something in his stomach sinking. “But because I wanted to be a reason why you could stop fighting.”
Another crack in Hongjoong’s eyes that Seonghwa wanted to just fix .
“When one of Exo’s wolves told me… that Suho had gone after you…” He tried to take a full breath. “I have never felt fear like that before, Hongjoong.”
He glanced up, Hongjoong staring in something like horror.
“ Not fear that you wouldn’t defend yourself,” he assured him, stomach twisting at the thought, “but fear that I… that I would lose you… before I had ever really had you.” He glared at his feet. “That I would lose you because I was too proud to admit that I could be wrong about you.”
There had been so many times since Seonghwa had realized that he could have said something, but none of them had ever come out how he wanted. None of them had ever ended with the truth being revealed.
Because Seonghwa was a bigger coward than Hongjoong could ever hope to be.
He could have provided Hongjoong so much more comfort… so much more support…. If he had just swallowed the part of him that was afraid and said something .
“You…”
Seonghwa couldn’t look up. Couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Seonghwa, you…” Hongjoong paused, feet shifting. “You have always been someone… that I understood. Even if I didn’t understand why , I understood you . And I knew-” He cut off, taking a deep breath that shook a little. “And I knew that… even if you couldn’t say that you had accepted me, that you respected me… I knew that you did.”
He let out a wet, sad laugh.
“And if you didn’t notice, I was kind of all over you in the forest,” he muttered, almost self-deprecating. “I knew it was probably a pitying action… a demeaning little act for the panicking little omega-”
“ Never .”
Hongjoong cut himself off, looking at Seonghwa in surprise, once again.
Seonghwa felt something churning darkly in his stomach. “Hongjoong, I would never-” He clenched his fists. “I would never try and give you something like that unless I meant it.”
God, the thought of acting or lying like that for his mate sickened him worse than mistreating him.
Hongjoong didn’t blink. Seonghwa wanted to vomit.
“When I offered you that…comfort in the woods,” he said, voice hoarse, “it was because you were upset, you were hurting , and I was a coward who couldn’t say anything,” he almost spat. “So I tried to give you the one thing I could. I wanted to give you that, Hongjoong, I wanted to give you that and more , but I was a coward- ”
His voice failed him, and Seonghwa had to look away, swallowing down everything that tried to rise in his throat. He didn’t even feel shame at his emotions. Just disappointment and anger.
“You have to understand, Hongjoong,” he whispered, staring at the ground. “That even when I rejected you, even when I sneered at you…. There has never been a single moment, in all the time I’ve known you… where I have ever seen you as weak.”
Because it was true. Even when his mind warred with the concept of an omega in power, he knew, undeniably, that Hongjoong was powerful. He had known from the first moment he had laid eyes on him at a distance.
“You have… forced me to see you as more than your wolf. There was never a single thought in my mind that called you weak or pitiable. There was only strength and determination and a fire that I found myself much too addicted to.”
He wasn’t making sense. He had hated his fire, in the beginning, hadn’t he? How could he- Things change .
But the words still tumbled out as he lifted his eyes to Hongjoong’s that cracked and split and spider webbed-
Seonghwa couldn’t look away, as if Hongjoong was holding him by his scruff, forcing his eyes to stay in place.
His throat felt dry. If they were saying everything… then what did he have to lose?
“And at some point… it hurt to see you hurt,” he said heavily. “When you told me everything that had happened to you… It killed me when I was unable to take any of that pain away from you. Despite how I treated you, I suddenly felt…” He shook his head sharply. “And maybe, at first, I called it instinct and biology- You’re an omega, I was your mate, I was supposed to protect you, that was nature- ”
Seonghwa almost wanted to laugh.
“But there is not a single part of nature that ever could have influenced me when it came to you.” His hands twitched, almost reaching for Hongjoong. “You exist outside of nature’s bounds, and I would sooner tear out my own heart before allowing someone to take that from you.”
He felt like pieces of the floor were cracking away, leaving him standing on nothing but gravel and air, Hongjoong staring at him and telling him to float.
“And it’s not that I think you can’t defend yourself against that,” He said, voice hoarse. “It’s not that I want to be able to take all your problems and leave you with none to solve yourself.” He reached towards Hongjoong, not even touching before his hand fell back to his side. “But because I think that no one… should have to be strong all the time.”
Seonghwa knew what constant need to never show weakness could do to a person. The bitterness and anger that it stained into you, the fear it instilled at being wrong and having so many people suffer that consequence, the rules that it demanded that were carefully controlled and that weren’t supposed to be broken out of-
But Seonghwa watched, heart breaking and chest twisting, as Hongjoong’s eyes finally cracked, and then shattered.
Seonghwa didn’t know what the break would do- whether it would send Hongjoong into a rage or break the dam holding him together or just finally unravel that last piece of string that sewed him shut.
But he saw his eyes shatter, and then it was just a slow approach as Hongjoong lowered his head as he moved towards Seonghwa, not stopping until his head hit Seonghwa’s chest and his arms wrapped loosely around his waist, his hair brushing Seonghwa’s cheek as Hongjoong buried his face in Seonghwa’s neck.
The last time Seonghwa had smelled Hongjoong’s scent, it was soured with fear and tainted with the tang of blood that made him want to gag.
But here… now… he smelled woodsmoke more than rain- all of it potent and thick because of his emotions, but wrapping around Seonghwa cleanly, as it should smell, no longer tainted such a strong addition. It was a cool smell, like dew clinging to grass in the early morning.
Hongjoong’s head hit his chest, and Seonghwa slowly lifted his hands, not touching him quite yet, trying to straighten out his head around the onslaught of Hongjoong’s scent, touch, presence pressing against him-
“Seonghwa,” he said, voice thick with tears that Seonghwa could feel through his shirt. “I would really… appreciate it if you could hold me right now.” His voice shook dangerously, and Seonghwa needed no more instruction than that for his arms to fall around Hongjoong’s shoulders firmly, wrapping around him not-loose but not-tight.
Until Hongjoong pressed against him, letting go of a breathy sigh of almost desperation, pressing his face into the curve of Seonghwa’s neck, tightening his hold on Seonghwa, despite his injuries.
Seonghwa tightened his arms, pressing Hongjoong’s thin frame against himself-
Huh.
Hongjoong was thin. There was clear muscle and hard planes to his body, of course, but he was a bony sort of thin that Seonghwa couldn’t notice until his arms were around him, holding him and feeling just how little of him there was.
But Seonghwa had never thought of him as small.
Even when Hongjoong tilted his head to look up at him, even Hongjoong had cowered and shrank away, Seonghwa had never looked at him and called him small .
And he still couldn’t. Because even if he was bony, there was so much more of Hongjoong that Seonghwa would never be able to fit inside his arms.
Hongjoong breathed Seonghwa in deeply, and Seonghwa could almost feel each muscle relaxing slowly, and he wondered when his scent had begun to do that to Hongjoong, or if it was a one time thing.
Seonghwa was having a hard time focusing on one thing, so much whirling around him, inside of him, and nothing giving him a chance to breathe, to get his footing, to stop acting on auto-pilot.
“I hated… what Suho made me,” Hongjoong whispered into his skin, lips brushing over his neck, hands curled around his waist. “I hated how… how it made everything… everything around me into something to be feared. He…” Hongjoong took another deep breath, and Seonghwa risked rubbing a gentle hand up and down his spine.
Hongjoong shuddered, and Seonghwa paused for a moment before repeating it, feeling how he leaned heavier against him.
“You said in the forest… that I would have rathered fight than lower myself to you…”
Seonghwa winced, feeling the shift in Hongjoong’s scent as he shifted nervously.
“And you’re right,” he whispered. “But that’s what Suho does to me, he takes everything- everyone - and he turns it into a weapon, into things to be afraid of, into things that I just have to sit and watch as they’re burned in front of me. Suho’s power has never been what he did to me, it’s what he could do to everyone else I-”
His voice broke, and Seonghwa held the back of his head gently, feeling the thick hair there, and taking yet another gamble to run his fingers through it gently, carefully, comfortingly-
Hongjoong pressed up, nosing at the line between his jaw and his neck, breathing out in sharp bursts.
“He tries to take everything from me, he tried to take you from me, my pack , he was going to make me watch while he killed everyone- ”
Seonghwa hushed him gently, petting the back of his hair, holding him just a bit closer, Hongjoong pressing further, as if wanting to mold into Seonghwa, breathing deeply as Seonghwa rocked him slightly.
He had still never done this part of comforting.
This was everything he had been too afraid to do before. Everything that was too close to what Yeosang and Wooyoung were. Things that he and Hongjoong were not, but that Hongjoong deserved a thousand times over-
Seonghwa buried his nose in Hongjoong’s hair, breathing in his scent and feeling his chest twist in the most painful, but best way possible because this could… this could be his. If Hongjoong would allow it.
“Tried to,” Seonghwa whispered harshly into his hair quietly. “ Tried to , Hongjoong. Past. It’s in the past , and he’s gone now. He’s gone , and he can never touch you again, Hongjoong. You or anyone else.”
Hongjoong’s laugh was wet, and Seonghwa felt his nails dig into his back as he held on. “It doesn’t matter,” he muttered. “He already left his mark. He already broke me, Seonghwa, long before this last battle-”
“He did not,” Seonghwa pressed, startled by the thought. “Suho was never strong enough to break you. That’s what made you his most wanted target- because you would not break, Hongjoong .”
Understand this, Seonghwa begged. Understand this, if nothing else, he did not break you-
“You’ve already seen what I do because of him,” Hongjoong whispered, but it was weaker, a more desperate excuse. “My wolf, my eyes, how I reacted to him-”
“You lived around losing yourself to your wolf,” Seonghwa told him, all the things he had marveled at silently finally spilling over. “You made yourself into what you wanted- what you needed to be- and you lived , Hongjoong. You thrived , where Suho tried to create a monster.”
“I am a-”
“Do you think so many people would follow a monster?” Seonghwa asked fiercely. “Do you think Yeosang would sit idly by if he thought you were such a thing? Do you not trust your pack to lead you as much as you lead them?”
Hongjoong sighed helplessly. “Of course, I trust them, but-”
“Would you trust them with your life?”
“I already have-”
“Then trust them again,” he whispered into his hair, rain and sweet earth. “Having fear of one person in the giant world of things you could fear isn’t a weakness , Hongjoong. If you can’t trust me, trust them that you’re not.”
A long silence.
“I do trust you,” Hongjoong murmured, almost inaudible against Seonghwa’s skin. He tilted his head up, running his nose along his neck in an action that was undeniably supposed to be affectionate, but Seonghwa couldn’t believe that he had such an intent behind it. “I owe you my life and everything else, Seonghwa,” he breathed.
“You don’t owe me a damn thing,” he whispered, swallowing the needle in his throat. “I don’t want those things, Hongjoong.”
That wasn’t why Seonghwa did it.
“I want you to have them,” Hongjoong breathed, head ducking, no longer nosing at his neck, but burying in his shoulder. “I want… I want to give those things to you, Seonghwa. I want to trust them to you.”
Seonghwa would have felt better if Hongjoong had struck him in the gut. Repeatedly. Because that was… a big thing to claim for how little they had moved forward.
“Don’t give me them to me because you think I did something to deserve them,” Seonghwa told him sternly. “Hongjoong, there’s no possible way you could actually trust me enough to give anything to me. Not after everything I did.”
“You saved me life,” Hongjoong murmured resolutely. “Protected my pack, protected me, ignored everything that told you not to, and you tried to be better to me… You changed , Seonghwa, even if I didn’t notice all of it at once. Why shouldn’t I trust you?”
“Hongjoong-”
“I told you,” he said quietly, muffled by his shirt. “I don’t hand over power unless I can trust the person to use it properly.”
Hongjoong had told him. Hongjoong had trusted him with that weakness.
“You’ve used it properly, Seonghwa,” he whispered tightly. “Even if you don’t think you did… you did .”
Seonghwa’s jaw tightened, everything in him telling him that Hongjoong was wrong. “I haven’t done anything I shouldn’t have done from the beginning. I don’t have a right to-”
“Then earn them,” Hongjoong broke in firmly, pulling away enough that Seonghwa could see his eyes- shattered and open, like a broken window, showing him everything-
The fear. The apprehension. The disbelief. The warmth.
“I’m willing to give them to you,” Hongjoong whispered, eyes scanning Seonghwa’s face as he grasped his hand weakly. “So take them… and figure out how to deserve it.”
Seonghwa opened his mouth, nothing coming out, his hand half-rising between them, going to touch something but never making it. “How?” he questioned under his breath. “How am I supposed to do that?”
What exactly did it mean to earn the right to care about Hongjoong? Seonghwa didn’t know, but he knew he hadn’t done it.
“I don’t know,” Hongjoong said, something dancing deep in his eyes behind the apprehension. “But I would be willing to wait for you to figure it out.”
Seonghwa wanted to pull him back in, to hold him again, to spent the rest of the day smelling nothing but rain and earth and woodsmoke with Hongjoong clasped between his arms-
“Hongjoong, after everything I did to you-”
“So make it up to me,” Hongjoong said, something almost like confidence bleeding into his posture, straightening only slightly, giving an extra pressure to his hands that grasped Seonghwa’s. “I don’t want you to push yourself away. But if in your head, you have something to atone for, then do it.”
It wasn’t… atonement. But Seonghwa didn’t think it was fair or reasonable for them to leap from what they were before, to the fight, to… whatever was swirling in Seonghwa’s stomach as Hongjoong stared at him.
Gentle.
Not hard. Not angry.
Gentle.
“How do you want me to make it up?” he asked. “I don’t even know what you like to know where to begin.”
Seonghwa knew nothing about Hongjoong. Absolutely nothing.
Hongjoong rolled his lips, and the confidence faded only a shade, but Hongjoong’s gaze didn’t waver as he searched Seonghwa’s eyes, his own expression shifting and changing and morphing for Seonghwa to make anything of it.
“Would you hate me if I asked you to kiss me?”
It was slow and deliberate- clear, with no room for mishearing.
And Seonghwa…
It was almost like running with that blind fear, only one thought, one action, allowed through his mind at once.
“Hongjoong-”
“Don’t say yes if you don’t want it,” Hongjoong said quickly, eyes hardening. “And I’m not asking you to take me against the wall, but-” His eyes flickered away, but he remained staring up at Seonghwa, not backing down. “I want to experience that once.”
Just once.
Seonghwa weighed his options: was it really the best idea to kiss Hongjoong? What would that change? What would that spark?
Was it really something Seonghwa should allow? Should he simply refuse and tell Hongjoong that this needs to be something they did later?
With each moment that passed, he saw Hongjoong’s eyes beginning to close off a little, preparing himself for a rejection.
Really, what would it harm, even if it made nothing better?
Did Seonghwa want to kiss Hongjoong? He had acknowledged respect and something more, but did that equate to-
He scanned Hongjoong’s face, remembering it smeared with blood from three different wolves, his broken body hanging from the edge, Seonghwa’s claws sunk deep to keep him up.
Maybe Seonghwa could never say in as many words that it was something he wanted. But given everything else he wanted, all the things he didn’t want…
He promised to give more to Hongjoong. If this is what Hongjoong chose to want from him… If this was something Seonghwa could give…
Seonghwa’s hand lifted slowly, their eyes never breaking away from each other as his palm slid against Hongjoong’s cheek gently.
Hongjoong’s eyes slipped closed, leaning into the touch and pressing his nose into the soft underside of Seonghwa’s wrist, breathing deeply for a moment, shoulders unbunching the smallest bit.
This was an experience… neither of them had ever had. Seonghwa had never provided such a comfort, and Hongjoong had never received it.
Seonghwa’s thumb stroked the curve of his cheek, and Hongjoong opened his eyes, and he seemed… almost peaceful. Looking up at Seonghwa with an unhurried gaze, as if he simply wanted to stare at him for as long as he would be allowed.
Only days ago, the two of them had been bleeding out on a forest floor.
And days before that they had been at each other’s throat.
But it wasn’t really…
Neither of them had ever hated the other. Misunderstood, frustrated, exasperated, tired of, struggling, challenging-
Everything and anything in between, but never… never hate. Only barriers and blockades that they had been slowly making their way over. It wasn’t a question of deciding what Seonghwa felt, but how much .
How much Hongjoong felt.
His other hand reached for Hongjoong scabbed forehead, brushing hair away from his eyes.
Seonghwa was going to throw up.
“Had you thought about this, before?” Seonghwa whispered, not sure why he asked such a guilt inducing question, but it fell all the same.
Hongjoong leaned into his hand, humming quietly. Not submissive. Comfortable . “A couple of times… when we first were bonded, and then… later.”
Seonghwa frowned. “Later when?”
Hongjoong swallowed, wetting his lips. “Once, when I told you everything in the healer’s hut… and then again in the forest before the fight…It’s not like I imagined it, but I… I thought about it.”
Hongjoong had never had this. Not from anyone. Neither had Seonghwa. Both of them were bumbling their way along, both just a little too proud to admit how terrified they both were.
Seonghwa’s gut twisted sharply. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It wasn’t time,” Hongjoong said firmly. “If I had said something… it would have ruined things.”
“And you don’t think this one will?” Seonghwa questioned, not skeptical, but… careful.
Hongjoong’s eyes trailed Seonghwa’s face, ending at his lips. “No,” he whispered. “No, I don’t.”
Seonghwa let go of a slow breath, brushing Hongjoong’s cheek before realizing he didn’t know what to do with his other hand, so he brought it up to his other cheek, cradling his face gently- careful not to constrict.
Hongjoong swallowed when Seonghwa still didn’t move closer. “Well?” he breathed, just a hint of teasing coloring his words brighter.
Seonghwa couldn’t think of anything to say in response, so he closed the distance between them slowly, almost agonizingly so, slotting lips together in a loose seal that Hongjoong breathed quietly into.
Hongjoong’s hands rose to his biceps, gripping them tightly, and Seonghwa could taste dewdrops and smoke on his lips, the taste a sweet and tangy sensation that Seonghwa had never experienced before.
Hongjoong breathed against his lips, something soft and relaxed as Seonghwa felt the warmth of his face between his hands. His stomach was doing a full gymnastics routine inside of him.
Seonghwa closed his eyes, too afraid to keep them open as one hand fell naturally to the curve of Hongjoong’s neck and the other trailing down to his waist, wrapping there-
Hongjoong pushed closer- not desperate, but firm- one of his arms wrapping around Seonghwa’s neck, the other bracing against his chest, nails pressing against him carefully.
Hongjoong’s mouth fell open naturally, not insistently, and Seonghwa couldn’t help the small sigh as he explored slowly-
Neither of them had ever done this before.
But it felt right. And for a fleeting moment, the uncomfortable tightness in Seonghwa’s chest loosened, that guilt and discomfort fading into something warm and deep.
Hongjoong tasted of earth and sky and air-
His nails dug a little harder into Seonghwa’s chest, a little pinprick of pain to keep him grounded as Hongjoong tilted his head, allowing a gentle change in angle.
“Seonghwa,” he breathed, only parting for a moment before pressing his lips back to Seonghwa’s.
His arm tightened around Hongjoong’s waist, only a moment, and a part of his mind… the sad one… the one that liked to punish him…
Wondered what might have happened if he and Hongjoong had been this from the beginning?
Both of them parted after another moment, but didn’t part very far, Hongjoong still pressed close enough that he was all Seonghwa could smell, taste, see, feel-
“Thank you,” Hongjoong murmured, eyes clear and wide.
Seonghwa rolled his lips, still tasting Hongjoong on them. “I don’t know how I feel about you thinking me for kissing you.” It felt abrupt. Stilted.
Hongjoong half-smiled, though. “We’ll work it out,” he promised. “But I…” He swallowed, smiling weakly. “I’m glad I got to know that once.”
Seonghwa wanted to kiss him again, to show that if he was brave enough, he and Hongjoong would not have only one time.
But for now… if Hongjoong said once, it was once until they could discuss this further.
Hongjoong wet his lips, eyes flickering. “Do you really… want to try?”
Seonghwa was quiet, thinking and mulling because this was a very delicate question.
Fuck his pride.
“Hongjoong,” he said quietly, not quite meeting his eyes. “I have come to realize… rather abruptly and startlingly… that you are someone that I want to be able to care for. I want to be able to help protect you- from threats you can face and those you can’t.” His voice almost failed. “I want to stand beside you as you go on your journeys, and I want to hope that I can have you by my side as I struggle.”
Just make it fucking dramatic, Seonghwa.
His thumb brushed over damp cheeks.
“If nothing else, I hope you’ll allow us to be allies. Because you are too valuable a person for me to continue ignoring in hopes of retaining apathy.”
Seonghwa… wanted to be beside Hongjoong. Taking the place he had neglected before, but… if Hongjoong decided that he liked it better when Seonghwa was a stranger… who was he to fight him? What right did he have to demand Hongjoong’s affections?
Hongjoong’s choice was his own, and Seonghwa could only hope it aligned with something he wanted, but ultimately… he was at the mercy of the omega before him.
Hongjoong, however, almost looked ready to laugh as he nearly cried, rough hands touching Seonghwa’s cheek gently. “Seonghwa…I already said I would give you everything.”
“I don’t want them yet,” Seonghwa said firmly. “Not until I think I’ve earned a right to them.”
“And what does that entail?” Hongjoong asked softly, head tilting. “Since you’re set on that?”
“I don’t know,” Seonghwa confessed. “But as soon as I realize, I’ll let you know.”
Because he didn’t know. He didn’t know what events needed to happen before Seonghwa could comfortably admit what he felt. Maybe all he needed was time. But he couldn’t quite give in yet.
Hongjoong laughed, weak and barely held together. “I’d be grateful for that.”
Seonghwa didn’t know why Hongjoong suddenly wanted to give so much over to Seonghwa. But he wasn’t prepared to hold all that. He was barely able to keep Hongjoong himself from slipping through his fingers.
“Hongjoong, I-”
Not knocking was a trend today, the flap of the tent pushing aside as Jongho entered, a steaming bowl in his hands.
The alpha froze at the sight of them, arms looped around each other, and his eyes flooded crimson as he threw the bowl to the ground. “ What are you- ”
“ Jongho .”
The snap from Hongjoong was enough for the red to fade, the alpha glaring at Hongjoong, as if angry at stopping him. But he waited, lips pressed together tightly.
Hongjoong stared disapprovingly, and Seonghwa allowed him to gently retract his arms, stepping away. “I understand your protective tendencies, but how about a knock every now and then, okay?” he asked, walking up and ruffling Jongho’s hair with a warning smirk on his lips.
The alpha huffed, batting his hands away. “Can you blame me?” Jongho snarled. “A week ago, he was carrying you in with your leg torn to shreds-”
“Seonghwa has never put a single scratch to me,” Hongjoong told him, something in his voice changing, more authoritative, and Seonghwa saw Jongho duck his head slightly, accepting the scolding. “Any injury I gained while with him was completely outside of his control. And it would be best for you to understand that.”
Jongho huffed, sending a withering glare at Seonghwa.
So much for that forgiveness, huh?
“Eden says he’s coming to check on you after you eat,” Jongho muttered.
Hongjoong glanced down at the bowl on the ground, spilled soup across his floor.
Jongho’s head ducked further. “I’ll clean it up,” he mumbled, slipping back out of the tent, Hongjoong chuckling the barest amount watching him go.
“You lied to him.”
Hongjoong turned back to him, frowning slightly. “What?”
Seonghwa’s mouth was dry. “You lied to Jongho. You said I had never put a scratch on you.” He nodding pointedly to the bandages around Hongjoong’s hands.
Hongjoong’s eyes dropped to the wraps, his eyes turning heavy. “Ah,” he said quietly, looking back up at Seonghwa, something sad and inevitable in his gaze. “Seonghwa… I would rather have a few cuts on my hands than be rotting with Suho at the bottom of that gorge.”
“I still-”
“Would you have rathered kept your hands free of all guilt and let me fall?” Hongjoong asked, voice quick as a blade flashing.
“No.”
“Well, then?” He questioned. “I fail to see your issue.”
“I hurt you.”
“You saved me,” Hongjoong said firmly. “When I couldn’t save myself. And you gave me strength to keep going. That more than makes up for a few scratches.”
But still-
Seonghwa cut off the thoughts, shoving them away. Now was not the time for them.
For now, Hongjoong was alive and so was he, and Suho was dead. For now… he and Hongjoong were something- something better than they were before. For now, Hongjoong’s eyes were not hard and angry, but closer to the softness he directed to his pack.
For now, Seonghwa just let himself be grateful.
~~~~~~~
Seonghwa was shocked when Hongjoong expressed his intent to return to Seonghwa’s pack.
“Shouldn’t you stay here a little longer?” San questioned as they gathered in the healer’s hut. “You’re still not fully healed-”
“I’m healed enough to make the journey, even if it’ll be a little slower,” Hongjoong told him, lips upturned in a quiet smile as he placed a hand on San’s head. “But Seonghwa and his people have been away from their pack long enough. They need to return.”
“Just stay here, and let him go,” Jongho fought, holding his arm loosely. “You’ve only been back a couple of weeks-”
“You don’t need to come back with us,” Seonghwa assured him under his breath. “You can stay as long as you like, here. Your pack is still recovering.”
Hongjoong offered him a small, exasperated sigh, shaking his head. “I’ve made my choice. I’m going.”
“Are you taking the same wolves with you?” Yeosang questioned, one hand absently pressed to Wooyoung’s side, as if ensuring his bandages that had long since been removed, were truly gone.
Hongjoong nodded. “I’ll send word once things are fully sorted, but…” He glanced at Seonghwa for only a moment. “I think it’s best if I go with Seonghwa.”
“Eden will be traveling with us,” Seonghwa tried to reassure them, even as San’s expression fell in disappointment. “We’ll make sure everyone makes it there safe.”
“You’d better,” Jongho muttered, glaring, their little truce in Hongjoong’s absence long forgotten. But Seonghwa could respect that.
He and Hongjoong had yet to have any further talks, occupied with healing and dealing with the final aftermaths of the fight, finding places for Exo’s wolves among their own and raiding Exo’s area for resources and supplies.
San and Jongho hugged Hongjoong, threatening Seonghwa with what they would do if he was hurt the next time they saw him.
Yeosang leaned slightly, whispering to Seonghwa in a quiet voice.
“What did you do?”
Seonghwa stiffened, mostly because he couldn’t recall doing anything wrong, and if Yeosang was going to threaten him, he didn’t know what it could be for.
“What?” he asked defensively.
Yeosang stared at Hongjoong. “He’s different.”
“Different how?” Seonghwa asked, frowning at Hongjoong who seemed closer to his old self than ever before. Soft to his pack, and unrelenting even to the two wolves begging him to stay just another couple of days.
Yeosang narrowed his eyes dangerously. “I don’t know. But you said something to him.”
“I’ve said a lot of things to him.”
Yeosang turned sharp eyes onto him. “Don’t think that just because you like him now, that you can talk bullshit with me. I’ll still end you without hesitation, regardless of how fond of you Hongjoong is.”
Seonghwa shrugged helplessly. “We talked about our opinions. We’re going to see how it goes.” Truly, he didn’t notice that large of a difference in Hongjoong. Seonghwa was just glad he seemed to be shaking off the shadow that Suho had thrown him into.
Yeosang didn’t look convinced. “Tread carefully, Seonghwa,” he warned.
Seonghwa resisted the urge to roll his eyes, barely. “I risked everything to personally tear apart Suho for hurting him. Do you honestly think I’d be any more lenient on myself?”
Yeosang snorted, unimpressed. “No,” he assured him. “But I understand that both of you are opening up to each other, and that makes you more dangerous than you ever could have been before.” A quick glare. “Break his heart, and there won’t be anything left in you to break.”
“I’d beg you to do it if I ever managed that,” Seonghwa assured him.
Yeosang stared for another moment, before he nodded slowly, as if Seonghwa had passed some test, turning away.
Seonghwa was getting a little tired of all the tests.
He glanced at Hongjoong who was chuckling as San tried to convince him he wasn’t crying.
Seonghwa had never felt the tight heat in his chest, but it kept creeping up when he looked at Hongjoong. He sort of hoped it would stop.
But he knew it could only ever get worse.
~~~~~~~
Somehow… after all their progress, it was more awkward than ever, entering into their too-large-for-two-people house, standing in the bedroom that noticeably smelled like the both of them.
Both of them were tired and aching after the journey that had taken nearly a full day to complete with their still-recovering injuries and deep aches that only enflamed the longer they moved without rest.
At the very least, neither of them was limping.
Hongjoong stood near the bathroom, Seonghwa hovering near the bed, both of them looking terrified to make a first move. So much had happened since the last time they had occupied this space together.
Hongjoong squared his shoulders, as if forcing himself to muscle through the uncertainty. “I’m going to take a bath.” He rolled his shoulders, probably stiff and more than a little sore from the run, as slow as they went. “Any objections?”
Seonghwa frowned. “Do you suddenly care whether or not I want you to take a bath?” The question wasn’t completely serious, and Hongjoong lifted a single eyebrow at him.
“I meant do you have something you need from the bathroom before I go in?” he quipped, something sharp and beautiful about it. “Or, did you have some legitimate reason that I shouldn’t take that long. That’s what I was asking.”
Seonghwa almost wanted to smile. It never quite made it. “Take as long as you need,” Seonghwa assured him, waving a hand.
“Thank-”
The doorbell sounded through the house, and Seonghwa moved towards the door, gesturing for Hongjoong to go on. “Take your bath, I’ll take care of it.”
Hongjoong smirked- not quite as fiery, but just as genuine. “Such a gentleman.”
Seonghwa pointedly ignored that comment as he made his way slowly down the stairs, back aching.
He and Hongjoong were a little… weird. Not quite completely removed from what they were before, but not quite taking steps towards what they wanted to be. An odd sort of picking at old wounds in hopes of turning them into jokes.
And it worked. Sort of. Seonghwa could smile around the old guilt when Hongjoong told him to get fucked without so many words. And… it was okay.
Seonghwa took care of the council member who had come knocking, demanding to talk about the resources they had lost while aiding Hongjoong’s pack. (Read: He opened the door, saw who it was, and said they would speak later, closing the door and locking it.)
Seonghwa took a moment, entering the kitchen and gathering the little tea powders Eden had given Hongjoong and he for the soreness of their injuries. He made a small cup for both of them, drinking his own at the table, listening to the distant sound of water running to fill the bath.
Seonghwa… wanted some sort of peace, he decided suddenly.
For himself, for his pack… and truly, the only way he could come up with a way to reach it flowed through and around Hongjoong. Because it was clear Seonghwa would be ineffective at creating that for his pack himself.
Their pack.
He finished his tea, draining the last of it, already feeling the way it almost made him drowsy, the tension in his muscles bleeding away as he grabbed Hongjoong’s, carrying it up the stairs and setting it on the nightstand beside Hongjoong’s side of the bed.
Seonghwa settled against the headboard.
Before, he would spend as much time as he could at the council meetings, leaving Hongjoong to his own devices here. Now that he was sitting here, existing in the same space as Hongjoong at a time other than right before they slept, it was… almost as if he were invading his privacy.
Seonghwa almost dozed, nothing else to occupy his attention and loose muscles.
He hadn’t even noticed the noises from within the bathroom until the door was opening, Hongjoong stepping out in fresh sleeping clothes, his hair still dripping wet.
Hongjoong held a towel tightly in his grip. “I…” He huffed, not looking at Seonghwa, frustrated. “I can’t… lift my arms that much to dry my hair.” He sounded as if this was the ultimate action that could be taken against him.
Seonghwa sat up. “Do they hurt that badly?”
Hongjoong shook his head quickly, coming to sit on his side of the bed. “No,” he assured him. “The muscles are just stiff and I can’t stretch them properly.” He still wouldn’t look at Seonghwa.
Seonghwa… almost refused.
Because this was… intimate. Domestic. Casual.
And Hongjoong and he weren’t those things yet.
But Hongjoong’s arms were too hurt for him to do it himself, and Seonghwa would kick himself before he refused him something so fucking simple.
“Here,” He said, leaning behind Hongjoong and grabbing the tea cup. “Eden’s tea,” he said, switching it for the towel.
Hongjoong muttered a quiet thank you, taking a careful sip of the steaming liquid. “Tastes like shit,” he murmured into the cup.
Seonghwa hummed, scanning the area of the bed, trying to figure where he should sit without crowding-
Hongjoong glanced back at his hesitation. “Oh,” he mumbled, scooting further down the bed. “Just sit behind me, if you can. Or I can turn-”
“I’ve got it,” Seonghwa assured him, shifting across the mattress until his weight settled on Hongjoong’s side, his body dipping backwards with the extra weight.
Seonghwa was careful of Hongjoong’s neck which he knew must be one of his greatest aches, just using the towel to squeeze the water out, rubbing it gently to dry it as much as possible. He pulled it away, using his fingers to comb through the strands, finding the wettest patches to dry next-
Hongjoong’s head suddenly nodded forward, then straightened again, and Seonghwa froze as Hongjoong brought a hand up to rub at his face. “Sorry,” he murmured, words a little slurred. “You’re puttin’ me to sleep.” His tea was empty in his lap, and Seonghwa reached around to take it from his hands gently, setting it aside.
Seonghwa pulled the towel away, moving back to his side. “It’s dry enough,” he said quietly. “Sleep, if you’re tired.”
Hongjoong was already falling back onto the pillow, eyes closed. “Wha’ about you?” he asked, not opening his eyes. “Not tired…?”
Seonghwa hummed. “Not really. Just relaxed.”
“Go take a shower or something,” Hongjoong urged, hiding a yawn in his pillow. “If you’re not going to sleep.”
Seonghwa hummed again.
He waited until Hongjoong’s breaths had turned heavy and even, face buried in the pillow, but body still laying atop the covers.
Seonghwa stood quietly, not willing to try and move him completely, so he grabbed the throw blanket from the end of the bed, tossing it over his still body and tucking it just a little around him.
This close, Seonghwa was assaulted with Hongjoong’s scent, which only made it stand out more how the air around him was permeated with Hongjoong.
His bathroom smelled like Hongjoong, his clothing pushed into the corner and his bandages thrown into the trash can, the air still moist from his hot bath.
Seonghwa didn’t trust himself not to fall asleep in the hot water, so he simply took a long enough shower to cleanse himself and let the hot water relax him.
Stepping out, he pulled on new clothes- and maybe it was because he had worn so many clothes that weren’t his own, but he took a moment, burying his face into the fabric.
His own scent was there- floral and sticky- but there was already an undertone of smoke among the threads.
When he exited the bathroom, Hongjoong had found his way beneath the big blankets, buried deep underneath them. Seonghwa was careful sliding in beside him, the bed already warmed by the omega’s body heat.
Seonghwa expected fear and uncertainty to force him to stay awake, but his head hit the pillow- familiar and scented with a mixture of rain and floral roses that twisted around him, warmer than his blanket.
Seonghwa would almost be frightened by how quickly he fell into deep, comfortable sleep.
Or by how he shift unconsciously towards the smooth scent of woodsmoke that lulled him into unconsciousness.
Notes:
Let me know if there are any issues with the chapter, but I hope it’s all fixed!
This was fun to write, and I can’t wait to post the rest of the story!
Comment to let me know what you thought, and as always, have an amazing day!
-SS
Chapter 5: Instinct to Grow
Notes:
More plot!
More angst!
And that heat everyone was curious about~~
I hope you enjoy it!!!
-SS
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hongjoong woke up drowning in Seonghwa.
It permeated his every cell, wildflower and rose and lavender and freshly cut stems-
The other side of the bed was empty, but warm, and Hongjoong stretched out a hand, feeling the residual warmth that was slowly bleeding away. He frowned, eyes heavy from sleep, as he half-sat up, wondering what had even woken him-
The door to the bedroom pushed open quietly, and Seonghwa froze where he entered, a little box in his hands. His eyes fell on Hongjoong, and the air between them changed. Something charged and a little thick settling on them.
“Did I wake you when I got up?” Seonghwa asked quietly, as if Hongjoong were still trying to sleep.
He shook his head, sitting up fully and scrubbing sleep from his eyes. “Mm-mm.”
Seonghwa hummed, setting the box down on the nightstand. “Bandages from Eden,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “He says they’re just for keeping it clean. You don’t have to wear them all the time, but often is better.”
Hongjoong nodded, eyes falling down to his hands that rested on the blankets.
The punctures themselves had healed, leaving only a few scabs that still ached, but nothing more. He glanced up and found Seonghwa staring at them as well. He held out a hand. “Pass me a bandage?”
Seonghwa tore his eyes away, casting one, regretful look that Hongjoong didn’t acknowledge, as he opened the box and pulled out a roll.
Hongjoong didn’t really care if Seonghwa watched as he wrapped his hands. Maybe there would be some weird, cathartic thing, watching Hongjoong bandage those wounds.
“Anywhere else?” Seonghwa asked. “Your legs?”
“Just my waist,” Hongjoong said, pressing a hand to the still-sensitive skin that had regrown. He took another roll and hesitated a moment.
“Can you put them on your waist by yourself?” he asked, frowning. “Do you want me-”
Seonghwa cut himself off, turning away and closing the box, as if hoping Hongjoong wouldn’t have noticed his broken off offer.
Hongjoong, however, felt his lips twitch. “If you can get me started… I think I can handle it after that.”
Part of hin cringed at their awkward interactions, but some part of him deep inside sang with each attempt at beyond cordial small talk.
Seonghwa glanced up, as if ensuring Hongjoong was being serious, but he nodded slowly. “Of course.”
He handed the roll to Seonghwa, offering a wry smile, and Hongjoong only hesitated for a split moment before pulling shirt up over his head.
He could feel the path that Seonghwa’s eyes burned across his torso.
“Hongjoong…”
Hongjoong smiled, but he was sure it came out tainted. “I told you I won every fight. Never said it was unscathed.”
Hongjoong had long since memorized the crisscross of clawmarks and the punctures of teeth marks- some newer and some so old, they were almost invisible. His back, his sides, his torso… all a lovely little painting of all the people who challenged him.
Hongjoong felt Seonghwa’s eyes linger on the very clear bite mark on his upper arm, burning hole into-
Seonghwa looked away, diving straight to work, and Hongjoong wanted to… to…
He didn’t know. Turn around? Grab him? Kiss him senseless because it seemed like everything Seonghwa did was magnified and hyper-focused, and Hongjoong didn’t know what to do.
And that terrified him.
He knew that Seonghwa was reasonable. Misguided, but not someone he needed to consider an enemy, even if he didn’t think they’d ever be considered anything past reluctant friends, at best.
But then he just kept being there.
There, when Hongjoong lost control. There, when Hongjoong was regaining consciousness at Eden’s. There, when Hongjoong returned to his pack, when he ran away, when he fought, when he was losing, when he was struggling, when he was dying-
When he was healing, when he was hurting, when he was alone-
Seonghwa was everywhere, and Hongjoong… Hongjoong didn’t mind one bit.
Hongjoong had never considered himself to be a lonely person- he had a pack of so many who meant so much to him, who spent so much time and memory with him.
But Seonghwa was his mate. His equal.
Not that the others were below him, but… Seonghwa was another leader. Another person who faced Hongjoong’s fears with him, who wanted to stay… with Hongjoong… to face the fears with him.
His pack had already done this.
But Seonghwa was a stranger. An outsider. Almost an enemy, who was begging Hongjoong to see passed everything he had done, all his mistakes, and give him another chance because…
Because Seonghwa was like Hongjoong. He couldn’t say a damn thing. He could show a little, but not a word could be spoken.
And the thought of everything Seonghwa had offered… it made Hongjoong doubt that he was really awake. Because his entire life had been spent waiting for the other shoe to drop, and now that it had, now that he had survived that… he almost didn’t know what to do with himself.
Seonghwa wrapped the bandage firmly. “Too tight?” he questioned, one hand braced against Hongjoong’s back to hold the wraps in place.
The contact spot burned, and Hongjoong’s eyes closed. “No,” he said quietly. “It’s good.”
Seonghwa continued to wrap. Pressing close to Hongjoong’s back and reaching around him, arms encasing him for a moment before disappearing and then reappearing-
Seonghwa had shown up in that clearing before the battle, where Hongjoong had been sitting, stewing in a darkness he had never been strong enough to fight on his own (that’s what Yeosang was for), and Seonghwa was there, and he…
He gave Hongjoong something no one had ever been able to give him.
Hongjoong had made note of Seonghwa’s scent- memorizing it for convenience, but this was… something different. The scent was smooth, calming, like a hand trailing down his spine, whispering for him to relax. And Seonghwa had stood there, comforting Hongjoong in a way that was just as new to him-
Hongjoong almost asked him to stay.
To not fight. To just stay with him, to not leave him alone, to just… keep providing that touch and comfort that Hongjoong almost let himself get lost in, so desperate and afraid.
But he could never.
Ever since that moment, Seonghwa’s scent was like blanket slowly laying across him. And God forbid someone tell Hongjoong to understand why.
Hongjoong found himself wanting to drown in it. But not now. Not yet. They still needed that distance. For both their sakes. Or, at least, that’s what Hongjoong kept telling himself.
“Can you finish?” Seonghwa asked, clearly offering to complete the task at Hongjoong’s request.
But Hongjoong hummed in affirmation, taking the roll and continuing where Seonghwa left off. Seonghwa removed himself. Hongjoong tried to think that he imagined how much colder it was. His arms ached uncomfortably as he moved them back and forth, but he completed the task silently.
At his request, Seonghwa put the little clip on to hold it all together, and just like that, he was gone, back to his side of the bed where he stood up. Hongjoong didn’t watch him.
There was a long silence, and Hongjoong kept waiting for Seonghwa to leave or say something, but there was only the silence pounding at Hongjoong’s ears enough to hurt.
He looked up at Seonghwa, one eyebrow lifting up as he found Seonghwa staring at him. “Are you going to tell me why you’re staring, or am I supposed to guess?”
And it wasn’t the harsh bitterness that Hongjoong spent most of their acquaintanceship wielding, but closer to this new middle-ground they had been building- sharp and expectant, but not angry.
Not anymore.
Because now, when Hongjoong cocked an eyebrow and asked a sharp inquiry, Seonghwa didn’t glare and stare as if he was holding himself back from saying some complaint about it.
God, Hongjoong used to almost wish for Seonghwa to say something, just so the two of them could fight out what had been carefully building between them.
But now, Seonghwa only got a strange look in his eyes that Hongjoong kept seeing, but could never quite place in an emotional category.
Seonghwa didn’t react physically to the question, only his eyes looking a little further away, as if looking past Hongjoong. (An action that would have caused Hongjoong to snap yet again, before. But it was different now.)
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
It was… spoken quite softly. A tone that Hongjoong had yet to hear from Seonghwa in this exact lilt since their discussion in his tent after they had healed.
It made him frown slightly. “What is going to occur on this walk?”
Seonghwa blinked, and he was looking fully at Hongjoong again, his shoulders squaring. “I think we need to talk about a few things.” His tone took on a sudden air of severity.
And Hongjoong…
He got scared.
Not scared , but his muscles tensed because he and Seonghwa had built a fragile, tentative trust that could fall apart with a hard breath, but they both seemed to be eager to hold it together.
Seonghwa had kissed him.
But talking about things had never been easy for them- or necessarily good for them. They were still stumbling around, existing in their very superficial relationship that both were afraid to deepen. Because it was hard to deepen it. It was a lot of work, and Hongjoong didn’t think either of them were necessarily prepared for it to progress.
And Seonghwa was still hard to read. Hongjoong could see his face changing and shifting,but he never knew what the expressions meant. He never knew what they were trying to convey, so he wasn’t sure where exactly Seonghwa stood-
Hongjoong didn’t know…
He didn’t know if he could quite handle it… at this moment, with everything else…. If Seonghwa tried to end something.
Did he have reason to believe that Seonghwa wanted to? No. Not really. Unless there was something he missed in the days they had been back.
But Hongjoong was not a coward. He was not someone who would easily back down (notwithstanding the still burning shame associated with one deceased wolf). Hongjoong shook that monster from his head quickly.
“Can’t we talk here?” Hongjoong asked, not quite buying time, but mostly just wanting to get it over with if Seonghwa was going to do something.
Seonghwa’s smooth expression pinched as he frowned. “Is something hurting you?” he asked. “Are your legs still that sore? The balm should be helping-”
“Nothing hurts,” Hongjoong said, trying to see past his stoic eyes, to catch a glimpse of something deeper. Anything . “I’m just wondering why we have to talk while we’re walking.”
Seonghwa’s brow twitched, and Hongjoong knew he was being more difficult than he usually was now, but he couldn’t help it, even after all their little soft domesticity.
Seonghwa held a power over him.
And Hongjoong got defensive when that happened.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Seonghwa with the power. He did.
But their trust was infinitely more fragile than his and Yeosang’s- his entire pack’s .
And it wasn’t like Hongjoong expected him to be trying to break something they had.
But he could . Seonghwa could do so many things to Hongjoong, could break him, already, in so many ways-
And Hongjoong had never been good at accepting those kinds of people.
Especially not when his heart was involved.
No one had ever quite had this power over Hongjoong, and he feared Seonghwa more than any other person on this planet at the moment.
Seonghwa frowned, but not deeply. “Eden said it was good if we got up and moved around, instead of sitting around. The exercise would be good.” He shifted his weight around subtly. “And I… I would like to take a walk with you.”
God fucking damn it, Seonghwa.
Hongjoong cursed the man in front of him. Cursed his stupid pride and his stupid pack and his stupid heroism and his stupid hesitations that Hongjoong never saw unless they were accompanied by an attempt at being kind or close with Hongjoong, like a fucking bumbling pup-
He cursed his own stupid head that had seen fit to become attached without his fucking consent and his own stupid attempts at closing their gap and his stupid, stupid heart that clenched at the the sight of Seonghwa trying his best- around everything that habit and biology had taught him- to try and connect with Hongjoong because he wanted to connect with him-
Hongjoong’s jaw unclenched as he turned away. He cursed how fucking easily he had become so fucking powerless against Seonghwa.
And he cursed how much he didn’t really regret it.
“A walk…” He cursed how flat his voice sounded. “A walk… would be fine.”
“You don’t have to-”
“No,” Hongjoong said quickly, trying to force his fucking voice to cooperate, to stop him from sounding so relectant and unwilling. He looked up at Seonghwa, hoping that he could pick apart whatever puzzle Hongjoong was throwing to him and see what he was trying to say. “A walk is fine. I’d like to go on one with you.”
God, it felt so disgustingly domestic, but Hongjoong’s chest did a weird tap dance, seeing the way Seonghwa’s shoulders relaxed, as if he had just been released of a huge burden.
“Okay,” Seonghwa said, nodding. “Are you okay with going now?”
“Yeah,” Hongjoong said, standing and ignoring the little aches around his muscles as he moved, Seonghwa’s hand making a half-aborted gesture to help him, but he quickly drew it back to his side.
Seonghwa did not think him weak. But he wanted to help.
Hongjoong gestured for Seonghwa to lead the way, and used his turned back to control his expression, forcing down every ounce of fear and doubt.
Having a talk did not mean Seonghwa was taking back something. Seonghwa had given no indication that he intended to retract anything he had said to Hongjoong. Hongjoong was just…
He was still just that paranoid omega who clung to power because he couldn’t trust himself without it. That backwards little bitch who lived in constant fear of people turning on him.
And Hongjoong felt a little bit of shame at his fear.
Because he had told Seonghwa he trusted him.
Hell, he had sat there and told Seonghwa that Hongjoong wanted to give him everything- his life, his everything- and yet, here he was, ready to bolt at the first sign of something that wasn’t even a conflict .
Hongjoong wanted to hit himself.
Their way down the stairs was slow-going, both of them aching in their legs and backs, but neither of them said a word of discomfort.
Once they were outside- the air cooler with the beginning of fall pressing in- Hongjoong didn’t look at Seonghwa, staring at the horizon as he spoke. “Where to?” he questioned.
He saw Seonghwa glance at him, but he didn’t look at him. “I planned to just… pick a direction and walk.”
Hongjoong nodded. “Sounds great. Which direction?”
He followed Seonghwa as he turned left down the street and fell in step beside him.
One block passed in silence, neither of them looking at the other, keeping their slow pace to accommodate their injuries. Seonghwa said nothing, but Hongjoong saw him shifting, almost nervously, picking at his clothes. Hongjoong held his breath, waiting for the first word to be spoken, for the bomb to be dropped.
Seonghwa wanted to talk about something. He was nervous. He wasn’t speaking. When was he going to actually say something? Why did he look nervous? When-
Two blocks passed. Three. Four. Fiv-
“Can you please actually get to the point?” Hongjoong finally snapped, stopping suddenly on the sidewalk and glaring at Seonghwa as everything came boiling over like a pot finally getting too hot.
Seonghwa stopped, turning back to Hongjoong with eyes that were clearly surprised by the outburst.
Hongjoong’s bandaged hands curled into fists, not sure when peace had turned to anxiety had turned to anger. “I can’t stand this beating around the bush shit- if you’re going to talk to me on a walk, then actually talk to me !”
And Hongjoong… he wanted to fucking kick himself.
Because Seonghwa looked lost. Like Hongjoong had just torn up his map and told him to get lost. He didn’t look sad, but he looked so confused, as if he didn’t understand what he had done wrong-
And objectively… he hadn’t done anything wrong.
But Hongjoong was so fucking scared . Underneath all the trust and domesticity, there still such a rolling hell of fear .
“If you’re going to say it’s not working, I don’t care ,” Hongjoong snapped, voice weakening by the word. “If you think what we’ve been doing is too weird, then fine . But just fucking tell me , Seonghwa.”
He wasn’t making it better.
Seonghwa opened his mouth, closed it, eyes scanning Hongjoong frantically as if trying to figure out his shape in the dark. “I…” His voice was a quiet whisper as he wet his lips. “I never-” He stared at Hongjoong. “Do… Do you think it’s not working?” he questioned gently. “Is it too weird?”
Hongjoong chewed the inside of his cheek, swallowing down the part of him that wanted to yell again, but it felt too fucking cruel. “I- No,” He said quickly. “I don’t- It’s not weird. It’s- I don’t think that.” He didn’t .
Seonghwa frowned, still looking so lost . “Then why are you bringing it up?” he questioned, looking so fucking confused, so quiet, as if waiting for Hongjoong to run off. “Have… Have I made it seem like it’s not working?”
Great , now he was blaming himself. Hongjoong took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, lowering his face to rub his hands over it. Something like a burning mixture of guilt and shame scalded his stomach.
This wasn’t how everything was supposed to go. They were supposed to be better at this now.
He and Seonghwa were supposed to realize how compatible they really were. They were supposed to slowly grow closer, taking equal steps. They were supposed to rebuild from the beginning, and make something better.
But somehow, it just kept hurting more than their fights before.
“I- No ,” Hongjoong hissed into his hands that pressed against his eyes. “No, Seonghwa, that’s not- You haven’t made me think-” He sighed harshly, scrubbing his eyes again, so fucking frustrated with his own inability to just fucking say something .
There was a deafening silence that Hongjoong hated, and then there was a gentle touch on his arm- feather-light and barely there. Hongjoong didn’t move. And when he didn’t rip his arm away, the touch turned a little heavier, until Seonghwa was caressing his bicep gently, his warm hands burning into it.
“Hongjoong…”
God , his voice was back to that fucking tone from the tent, and Hongjoong wanted to shove him away and just run because it would be so much easier .
“Hongjoong, what…” He stopped. “Hongjoong, you…” He stopped again.
And then the hand was pulling gently- so fucking gently- and Hongjoong had to make the physical choice to move to follow it, his hands still covering his eyes because he really couldn’t look at Seonghwa right now-
Seonghwa’s arms were around him carefully, Hongjoong’s face burying in his collar as Seonghwa embraced him oh so carefully, waiting for Hongjoong to lash out again and push him away.
But Hongjoong hesitated only a moment, breathing in flowers in place of oxygen, and it was like the fight left him, his head falling to hit Seonghwa’s shoulder, his arms falling from his face to lay pressed between the two of them.
And Seonghwa was petting his hair gently, slowly, and Hongjoong just wanted to die of shame.
How fucking dare he.
“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa whispered, voice low and soft. “I don’t… I don’t know what you’re thinking half the time. And… I’m sorry. I try… I never know what exactly you want or need, so I’ve tried to keep a distance, just in case… And I’m sorry if I was too distant, if I seemed too cold- I never meant to make you doubt me-”
“You didn’t,” Hongjoong muttered, hitting his chest because he needed some way to show his displeasure when he just wanted to fall into Seonghwa and just let him deal with it. “You didn’t , Seonghwa, I swear. And I don’t think we’ve been distant, but-”
Seonghwa’s hand ran up his spin comfortingly, and Hongjoong was going to need him to stop if he was going to keep thinking straight and not just give up and break something.
Hongjoong swallowed. “But I’m scared , Seonghwa,” he admitted in a breath, feeling like a boulder was slowly being lifted off of his chest. “I’m… I’m scared because-” He was losing his voice to it, the syllables weakening, and Hongjoong paused, taking a moment to breathe, and when he spoke again, it was calmer. More level.
More like the leader he had always been before his one weakness had turned to two: Suho and, now, Seonghwa.
“You are… unreal, Seonghwa,” He said, swallowing. “You stood there and you waxed poetics about me, about what you wanted with me, about what you wanted from us- ” He shook his head. “And there’s… no way that we can actually have that, Seonghwa. It’s not possible . But do I apparently care about that?”
He laughed, not quite bitter, but nothing humorous.
“No,” He murmured. “No, I just saw someone that I had come to trust with… everything and more than I had ever entrusted to anyone else. And I just handed it over. I just trusted that it would work out.” Another laugh. “And now… now, you have more power over me than anyone has ever had, Seonghwa. More than I’ve ever allowed another human being to have.”
He could smell the way Seonghwa’s scent shifted, nervous and shocked and confused and shifting. He felt like his heart was shivering.
“And that means… that I’m terrified of you, Seonghwa,” He whispered, voice failing once more. “Because you could hurt me far worse than Suho ever could, and I let that happen. I wanted that to happen.” He almost choked. “And now, because of my decisions, you’re suffering the consequences of anyone who holds power over me.”
It was all the truth. The ugly truth that Hongjoong hadn’t quite realized until he was facing Seonghwa, who was confused and not understanding why Hongjoong was acting the way he was.
Hongjoong pulled away slowly, just enough that he could look Seonghwa in the eyes- his own irises firm, but Seonghwa’s looking like nothing more than a breeze could break through them.
“I’ll fight you,” Hongjoong confessed. “I’ll fight you, and I’ll fear you, and I’ll doubt you, Seonghwa.” His expression pinched. “I’ll doubt you because all it takes is one moment . One word, Seonghwa…. And you’ve unmade me.” He swallowed, jaw aching where he clenched it. “You ask me to talk with you?” he posed, laughing bitterly this time. “I immediately assume that you’ve given up on us. On me. That you’re tired and telling me that we’re going to just resume being strangers.”
Hongjoong looked away when Seonghwa’s expression turned crestfallen, almost pitying, as if he couldn’t believe that was what Hongjoong assumed.
He stared at Seonghwa’s chest, his own heavy and aching. “And I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry that’s how I am, Seonghwa. But… Who knows, maybe one day I’ll change that, but… it’s going to be hard because I’ve never had to trust anyone like this.” His fists clenched. “Yeosang and Wooyoung have been close seconds, but…” He almost laughed, feeling his eyes burn. “Neither of them were ever trusted with my heart. No one has ever had that…”
“Hongjoong-”
“I want you to understand everything,” He said quickly, not wanting Seonghwa to finish his sentence just yet. Not yet. Give him just a few more seconds, please. “Just… just so you know. And you can decide… what you want… and what you’re willing to put up with.” Hongjoong laughed self-deprecatingly. “I guess it would have been easier if we had just remained strangers, don’t you th-”
A gentle hand was suddenly bringing Hongjoong’s face up until he stared at Seonghwa, eyes widening at the action as Seonghwa lowered himself, stopping only centimeters from Hongjoong’s lips.
Hongjoong felt like everything had been turned to stone. Silent. Still. Not even a pulse to show. No intake of breath. Nothing.
“May I?” Seonghwa asked, quiet and a little hoarse, voice like grass in the fields that Hongjoong used to fall asleep in.
Hongjoong didn’t know why Seonghwa wanted to. Especially after everything that Hongjoong had just spewed from his mouth. But Hongjoong stared, his blood frozen, and he nodded slowly.
Because for everything he had just confessed, Hongjoong wanted them to work. Hongjoong wanted to know what it was truly like to have someone like Seonghwa as his mate.
For a stark, shining moment, the doubt faded.
Seonghwa closed that distance for the second time in their lives.
It was just as warm, the scent of him just as overwhelming, and Hongjoong let himself believe that this was a good sign. (At the very least, he couldn’t allow a negative thought to form, too focused on Seonghwa gently squeezing his hip.)
When Seonghwa pulled away, Hongjoong opened his eyes that he hadn’t realized had been closed, staring up at him, and Seonghwa no longer looked so confused.
He looked determined.
“You could kick me out of my own home every week ,” Seonghwa said quietly. “And I wouldn’t take back a single thing I promised you, Hongjoong.”
His hand left Hongjoong’s waist to gently cup his cheek, like a breath of a breeze passing across it. Hongjoong had to remind himself to keep breathing as Seonghwa’s eyes trailed over his face slowly, carefully, as if committing it to memory.
“You could tell me you never wanted to see me again or you could promise that you would die by my side, and nothing would change.” His thumb brushed the curve of Hongjoong’s cheek. “Doubt all you want, nothing will come of it, Hongjoong. Hold onto whatever darkest horrors your mind can produce, because I can promise you they’ll never see the light of day.”
Seonghwa’s eyes were as open as Hongjoong could ever remember seeing, genuine and hooded and gentle-
Hongjoong hated him.
Hated and cursed how weak Hongjoong had become for him.
Hongjoong never wanted to be weak. Never wanted to hand over authority because how could he trust someone else to do as well as he could?
Who could protect him better, could console him better, could treat him better than himself ?
And yet, here he was, eyes closed tightly as he forced his emotions to remain in place, Seonghwa’s voice echoing in his ears, promising Hongjoong that he would stay, that he would be kind, that he would continue to treat Hongjoong in whatever way Hongjoong allowed him-
He had so much power over Hongjoong, but he gave so much of it back to Hongjoong.
Hongjoong scrubbed at his eyes, relieved to find them dry, and pulled away from Seonghwa gently.
“You must be insane, to think it would be worth it,” Hongjoong scoffed.
“If that’s what it takes, then I’ll never be in my right mind again.”
Hongjoong wanted to hit him .
But instead, he could let out a pitiful laugh that he was sure broke halfway through. “Let’s continue our walk,” Hongjoong croaked. “We look like idiots, just standing here.”
He couldn’t quite meet Seonghwa’s eyes.
“Do you want to return to the house?” Seonghwa questioned, falling into step beside Hongjoong. He leaned slightly, as if trying to see if Hongjoong was fatigued, emotional, whatever.
But Hongjoong shook his head, and even if his voice shook, his mind was resolute. “No,” He said quietly. “No, I’d like to keep walking with you.”
Hongjoong wanted to continue on… with Seonghwa.
He didn’t look at Seonghwa, too afraid of what sort of relief he might see. But they walked on, and Hongjoong felt… lighter, surprisingly. More grounded.
His chest still ached with anxiety, but he felt like it didn’t have such a firm grip on him. He was collected now. Calm. And Seonghwa was walking beside him, after he kissed him, after he told him- not that he shouldn’t doubt- but that he could doubt all he wanted because it would never happen, regardless.
And now Hongjoong wanted to kiss him again, which was not something he could bring himself to do.
The silence between them was gentler, not so suffocating to make Hongjoong burst out a need to fill it.
But Hongjoong did stop them as they passed through the East courtyard, staring at the little fountain spraying water into the air, watching it hit the pool beneath it. Seonghwa stopped with him, and Hongjoong felt… a lot more in control than he had before.
“Why did you want to talk to me?” Hongjoong asked quietly. “Before I attacked you back there...”
And Seonghwa chuckled- light and quiet, but a laugh all the same- before sobering slightly. “I meant to ask you what you wanted.”
Hongjoong’s brows pinched, but he didn’t bring his eyes away from the rhythmic dropping of water. “What… I wanted?” Hongjoong hadn’t expressed a desire for anything.
Seonghwa hummed. “In terms of… well, everything,” he said, voice a little dark. “Yourself, your pack, my own pack… the two of us…” He felt Seonghwa shift his weight. “Do you want our packs to remain separate? Would you like to combine them completely? Do you want me to find another place for you to stay, if you’re more comfortable there? Do you want us to remain as casual acquaintances, friends, partners… or something else?”
And Hongjoong was good at picking out fear in people’s voices, but Seonghwa had always been hard to find a time when true fear was audible. There was only the times in the forest that Hongjoong could recall. Back then…and now.
He tore his eyes away, looking at Seonghwa who was staring too resolutely at the water, purposefully avoiding his gaze, and something about it almost made Hongjoong want to smile if he weren’t so busy trying not to vomit.
Hongjoong took pity on him and turned back to the water. “What do I want…?” he whispered. There had only ever been one thing he wanted. “I want peace,” he said, firm and decided.
He could almost imagine that they hadn’t just been discussing Hongjoong’s power-balance issues moments before.
“Peace for myself, our packs… and us.” Hongjoong breathed out slowly. “And I’m wanting and willing to take whatever steps bring that. Be it bringing our packs together or keeping them apart. Be it the two of us moving forward… or backwards.”
That hurt more to say than he thought it would.
“As an ideal,” Seonghwa murmured beside him. “In a perfect world, what would you have?”
Hongjoong had to laugh. “What use would a perfect world be to me?” he questioned. “It would never happen.”
“Humor me.”
Hongjoong looked at him again, but this time, Seonghwa was looking at him, eyes a soft sort of gaze that made Hongjoong feel like all his barriers had just been stripped away. He felt like his pulse stopped. Started. And he wet his lips.
“In a perfect world?” He swallowed, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Our packs would be together, and they would be happy. Equal,” he said quietly. “They’d be able to live together and everyone would be safe.” Hongjoong’s chest twisted a little. “They would all be able to forget the lives they came from… and they would make new ones here, where it’s better. They wouldn’t be shunned for ideals that I brought to them. And they wouldn’t be attacked for acting outside of what others think their wolves should be.”
Seonghwa’s expression twitched, something guilty flashing across it, but Hongjoong said nothing about it. Seonghwa rolled his lips quietly, still staring at Hongjoong. “And for yourself?”
“What about me?”
“You listed all the things you want for your pack. What do you want for yourself?”
For us.
Hongjoong chewed his lips harder, scanning Seonghwa’s face. It was gentle. And Hongjoong remembered the exact moment he first saw it gentle, rather than hard and steely.
Seonghwa looked like a completely different person.
“What if what I want isn’t what you want?” Hongjoong questioned, voice coming out a breathy whisper as he stared at Seonghwa, unable to look away for fear of breaking something. He couldn’t put himself out there only to find out Seonghwa didn’t want to reach that far. He wouldn’t.
Seonghwa, to his surprise, took a single step forward, his hand reaching out to catch Hongjoong’s, simply holding it between them as gingerly as a flower petal. Hongjoong’s heart did a painful twist.
“Tell me what you want, Hongjoong,” he requested in a quiet whisper. “And I can promise you, however little or much it is, I will be more than willing to give it to you for as long or short a time as you desire.”
He had so much power over Hongjoong, but he gave so much of it back.
Hongjoong swallowed, but he couldn’t make it past the lump forming in his throat. “I always… thought…” He coughed quietly. “I always knew… that my mate, whoever they would up being, would be… for political purposes. My only stipulation was to find someone strong enough to effectively aid me in protecting me pack. My own feelings and desires had no place in that process.”
Seonghwa nodded slowly, a single incline of his head.
Hongjoong was sure his hands were sweating through the bandages. “But with you… after everything we went through… the leaps we made with each other…”
Truly, Hongjoong could barely remember the Seonghwa that he spat at, that he shoved aside and trudged on without even looking to see if he was coming.
“Even among all of it… I found myself… not looking for something more, but feeling it all the same.” Hongjoong’s voice wavered, and he swore that if it broke- “I never wanted to find a mate that I would tolerate and like. But… I found one all the same.”
Hongjoong forced his eyes to meet Seonghwa’s, not showing how his insides shook. “What if I told you I only wanted to be with you as a tactical partner?”
Seonghwa’s jaw tightened slightly, though his expression changed none. “I would… find myself disappointed, but I would gladly keep a distance.”
Disappointed.
Somehow, the word made Hongjoong’s chest twist. In a good way. “And if I told you… that I wanted to grow closer? That I would be more than content to have you as my friend and more?”
Seonghwa’s lips twitched, and Hongjoong’s stomach flipped. “Then I would never be far from you.”
God , if this man made Hongjoong cry again, he would never forgive him.
He wasn’t usually so emotional, but it had been so long since Hongjoong had been able to feel without worrying about it being used against him.
Hongjoong couldn’t breathe around the knot in his stomach. “And if I told you that I wanted you and I to act as mates in every way? That I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you?” The last word caught in his throat.
Seonghwa’s eyes danced a captivating song that Hongjoong couldn’t look away from, even as Seonghwa nodded firmly. “Then I would never leave your side, even at the cost of my own life.”
The same words they had uttered at their pointless bonding ceremony.
Hongjoong’s vision blurred slightly as he sucked in a sharp breath, something almost like a laugh in his chest. “You’ve already done that,” He whispered hoarsely, seeing forest and Suho and blood.
Seonghwa merely inclined his head, eyes intent and understanding.
“I know.”
Hongjoong grabbed that stupid, insufferable, cursed alpha by the front of his shirt, dragging him down to Hongjoong’s height, their noses brushed and their lips tingling with the presence of the other so close.
Hongjoong’s hand shook a little as he stared into Seonghwa’s eyes, much too close, a million emotions and thoughts spinning across them. His other hand came to rest on Seonghwa’s shoulder.
“And if I told you that I wanted you to kiss me properly this time?” Hongjoong breathed. “Like I was really your mate?”
Seonghwa’s hands found Hongjoong’s hips, holding them lightly. “I’d make sure you wanted to do it at the specified time… or if it was too soon.” His expression was carefully reserved.
Hongjoong couldn’t help the way his lips curled up even as the first tear streaked down his cheek. “I’d tell you to hurry the fuck up,” he breathed.
The third time…
Hongjoong felt free. Light, as if he was floating away, but tethered to the ground by Seonghwa’s hand on the small of his back pulling him forward.
Their bodies met in a single line- from their chests to their knees that knocked together, and Hongjoong still felt like they weren’t close enough. He wanted to feel embarrassed at the tears making their kiss slick, but he honestly couldn’t find himself to even notice as he wound his arms around Seonghwa’s neck, pulling him further down.
They were…
They had fought together, despite Hongjoong’s fear. They had almost died together. They had stood together, and Hongjoong…
Hongjoong was a very simple person. That was all he needed. Someone to stand with.
Hongjoong would never call it ‘jealousy’ that he felt when he saw Wooyoung and Yeosang. Never. That made it sound too ugly.
Longing, perhaps. Seeing their struggles, but both of them only having to look a few feet away to see someone who just… made it all worth it. Hongjoong could lean on either one of them- anyone in his pack- and get his strength from them.
But there was an inherent difference in the comfort Yeosang was able to give Hongjoong, and the one he was able to give Wooyoung.
And that moment in the woods, Seonghwa scenting him and letting Hongjoong scent him…wrapping around Hongjoong, surrounding him like a castle wall intending to keep out even the most violent of attacks…
Standing there as Hongjoong pressed against him, waiting for the moment he pushed too hard and Seonghwa would pull away, but he never did, he just kept standing there-
Seonghwa pulled away, their foreheads pressed firmly together, his eyes a stained glass of emotion. “So?” he panted lightly. “Which of those scenarios did you want?”
Hongjoong wanted to kill him.
“Asshole,” he muttered, even as his heart expanded to dangerous levels, pulling Seonghwa back down against his lips.
Seonghwa tasted like coffee. Hongjoong wasn’t sure if he had been drinking it or not, but it tasted bitter and dark and maybe a little too addicting as Hongjoong licked into his mouth.
Seonghwa made a subdued noise in the back of his throat as his grip on Hongjoong’s hip tightened the smallest amount- a bare reaction, but enough of one that made Hongjoong grin against his lips.
Seonghwa’s hands ran through his hair, making him shiver, and Hongjoong tilted his head back, keening just a breath, to keep the contact-
Hongjoong jerked back, hissing, a hand flying to cup his neck tightly as he pulled away, straightening his neck gingerly.
“What-” Seonghwa’s panicked inquiry cut off as he realized what happened. “Did you hurt it?” he asked, stepping forward, but not touching Hongjoong.
Hongjoong hissed through his teeth, rubbing at the sensitive muscle carefully. “Yeah,” he grit lightly through his teeth, the shock of the pain still electrocuting the muscles. “It feels like I just stabbed it- Ow.” He glanced up at Seonghwa- the concern and still-fading fear- and felt his lips quirk up just a little. “I guess that’s a sign to slow down?”
Seonghwa, to his vague relief, laughed a little breathlessly. “Did I push you-”
“No,” Hongjoong assured him, slowly rotating his neck. “I leaned back too far, it’s okay.”
The heat from the moment gone, Hongjoong found his tongue failing him.
“Should we walk back?” Hongjoong questioned lightly. “I think I should put on some of Eden’s balm.”
Seonghwa nodded quickly, and Hongjoong didn’t know if it was instinct or habit or a conscious choice, but Seonghwa took his arm gently, guiding him back around towards the direction they came.
Hongjoong stared at the hand on him for several seconds before grinning. “You know,” he said casually, “it’s my neck that hurts, not my legs or arm.”
Seonghwa glanced at him, frowning, before noticing the hold he had on Hongjoong. He began to snatch his hand back. “Sor-”
Hongjoong caught it, looping his arm through Seonghwa’s. “I didn’t say you had to let go,” he assured him. “Just letting you know that you weren’t helping, if that’s what you were going for.”
Seonghwa was quiet, and when Hongjoong glanced at him, he looked at Hongjoong as if he didn’t know what to do with him.
“What?” Hongjoong questioned, being just a little bit cruel. “You’ll stay with me forever, but you’re embarrassed to hold my hand?”
Seonghwa sighed, exasperated, and Hongjoong buried the part of him that secretly loved it. “You’re impossible.”
“But you agreed to stay with me forever .”
Hongjoong expected Seonghwa to joke about retracting that statement, or regretting it.
But he simply glanced at Hongjoong, eyes a cool sort of peaceful- like ripples in a still lake. “I did,” He simply said quietly.
Hongjoong had to look away, face burning.
That absolute asshole .
Maybe they were hopping around. Jumping milestones and subverting the paths they were supposed to take, considering how they started out, but…
Neither of them was really thinking about this anymore.
All of it was reactionary.
Instinctual.
~~~~~~~~
Hongjoong was different.
Still that same fiery soul that refuse to give even an inch, unless he wanted to.
But softer, in a way. Softer in ways Seonghwa had only seen him act with his pack. It was a side of Hongjoong he always knew existed, but one that he never expected to see directed at himself.
Seonghwa, himself, had definitely changed- from the hard eyes he regarded Hongjoong with to ones that he could feel they oozed affection he hadn’t expected to ever feel.
But here he was, trying to remember how to form words as Hongjoong smiled at him.
The distance between them in the bed was significant smaller than it had ever been, and if Seonghwa reached a hand out, he could touch Hongjoong.
But Hongjoong was resting against his pillow, eyes half-closed after exhausting himself with a check up from Eden. But the exhaustion clinging to him was muted by the sleep-drugged smile on his face.
“What?” Seonghwa questioned, the two of them facing each other within the bed for the first time.
Hongjoong shook his head slowly, his smile fading just a smidgen. “Nothing,” he murmured, words lazy with a desire to sleep. “‘M just… thinking…”
“About?” Seonghwa asked quietly in the dim lighting of night.
Hongjoong hummed gently in his throat. “Suho.”
Seonghwa started, that name the last thing he expected to come out of Hongjoong’s mouth. “What… about him?”
Another soft hum, as if he was still trying to figure out the answer. Hongjoong stared off into nothing. “Where I might have wound up without him…” He frowned slightly. “He did so much to me… but if it weren’t for him, I never… never would have been able to form and protect my pack.”
Seonghwa thought that was too level-headed of an answer for how tired Hongjoong seemed.
“I never would have become as strong as I did… I never would have gathered my pack… I never would have met you…” He hummed, eyes falling closed. “So in the end… isn’t it worth it? Or is it… is it wrong to try and see something good from what he did?”
Seonghwa… honestly wasn’t sure he was versed enough to have this conversation, but he reached out slowly, laying his hand on the curve of Hongjoong’s waist gently. His eyes opened for only a moment, glancing at the gesture, before falling closed again, unbothered by it.
“I think… that you can think about it however you want,” Seonghwa murmured. “If you want to find something good in it… then you should. But I wouldn’t give him that sort of credit. You would have become just as strong without his torture.”
He saw the corner of Hongjoong’s lip twitch, but he remained balanced on that edge of falling into sleep. “Y’ think?” he murmured, slurred.
Seonghwa’s throat closed up, surprisingly, as he watched Hongjoong’s face- softened and gentle.
But still so fucking resolute.
“Yeah,” he whispered hoarsely. “I think you just have that instinct to grow.”
He chuckled tiredly, words slowing as he fell further away from awake. “Charmer,” he muttered. “You-” He yawned lightly, sinking into the pillow. “You…” His brow pinched gently, not opening his eyes. “You’re… too far away.”
Seonghwa blinked, but Hongjoong slowly dislodged his arm that was underneath himself, holding it out slowly. Seonghwa stared at it for a moment, stunned. “Did Eden give you some sort of medicine?”
Hongjoong never acted like this. But then again, they had made some serious leaps that neither of them had planned for.
He made a negative noise in the back of his throat, opening and closing his fist once.
And really… it was something neither of them had ever initiated, but Seonghwa wasn’t opposed to the idea at all…
He sighed gently, scooting forward under the covers until he was right in front of Hongjoong who made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat, shifting forward that last little space, until he was pressed against Seonghwa.
Hongjoong let out what seemed like a satisfied sigh, sinking back into the mattress.
Seonghwa was almost startled by how quickly his breathing evened out, each breath puffing against his collarbone.
And Seonghwa… for now, he set aside all the parts of him that told him to panic, pushing them far away as he laid his head back on the pillow, nose buried in Hongjoong’s hair, closing his eyes as he was assaulted yet again with his scent.
Hongjoong smelled like his camp.
But Seonghwa frowned slightly, the curling scents of woodsmoke and earth blending with something… else. Sweeter. Like someone had scattered sugar crystals in the wind.
It was a nice scent, turning the fragrance into something almost more like a perfume than the wild.
Seonghwa fell asleep tasting sugar on his tongue.
~~~~~~~
Seonghwa hated the thought of having to speak with any member of the council ever again.
He was so tired of running in the same circles of demanding that Hongjoong’s pack be accepted, and being pushed back with more and more shouts of how barbarous it was to allow Hongjoong any sort of standing within their pack.
The complaints about the wolves they lost or were injured in the fight.
“That’s why we bonded to begin with!”
“Maybe if he had truly been an alpha, he would have had a pack that could fight better- sparing out own wolves.”
Seonghwa was ready to kill something.
“That bad?”
Seonghwa glanced up where he pulled his boots on, Hongjoong standing at the bottom of the stairs, hair an absolute mess as he leaned on the railing tiredly, eyes swollen.
Hongjoong’s lips quirked, but there was something strained about it. “Want me to come? I can take out a few ancient wolves with prejudice issues. I’d probably enjo-” He coughed, something hard and deep in his chest. “Enjoy it,” He finished, clearing his throat.
Seonghwa watched him, brow pulling down. “Are you alright?”
Hongjoong nodded, rubbing at his throat with a clear discomfort. “Yeah, I’m just sore this morning,” he assured him. “I slept like the dead last night, but… “ He rubbed at his eyes that were slightly bloodshot. “It feels like I didn’t sleep at all.”
“Do you want me to send Eden over?” Seonghwa questioned, standing. Concern rooted itself in his chest because Hongjoong and he were still recovering from their injuries- though they were only minor at this point- but what if something had gone wrong with the healing?
Hongjoong shook his head, looking like that was the last thing he wanted, waving a hand. “No,” he assured him. “I’ll take a nap later if I still feel shit.”
Seonghwa frowned deeper, and Hongjoong laughed, a more genuine sound that loosened the knot in his chest as Hongjoong closed the distance between them, grinning. “I’m grateful for your big, strong alpha concerns, but your mate isn’t quite that delicate, okay?” He tapped Seonghwa’s chest pointedly, looking too pleased, even if his eyes still seemed a little strained.
And Seonghwa didn’t even fake annoyance as he sighed slowly. “Fine,” He said, relenting. “But if you’re still feeling poorly this evening-”
“I will let you worry yourself into a stupor,” Hongjoong assured him, eyes flickering a fiery amusement. “Now, go rip some old folks a new one.” He pushed against Seonghwa’s chest, and Seonghwa caught his hand.
Hongjoong lifted a curious eyebrow as Seonghwa lifted the hand slowly, pressing his lips to the back of it.
That scent of sweetness still clung to his skin, and Seonghwa wondered if it was a new body wash or shampoo…
Hongjoong pressed his lips together, taking his hand back rapidly. “Sap,” he muttered, cradling the hand as he didn’t meet Seonghwa’s eyes. “God, you’re disgusting-” He shook his head sharply, pushing Seonghwa in the chest. “Get out of here,” He scoffed. “You gross alpha and your weird- Go .”
Seonghwa couldn’t help the chuckled that released from his chest, resisting the urge to snatch his hand again and pull him closer.
He liked this new… easiness that they had found. It wasn’t perfect, and it was still a little stilted, but it was miles better than Hongjoong fighting the darkness of his own doubts that stopped him from trusting.
“I’ll be back this afternoon, if I can stop them from trying to spend three hours on trying to convince me that our wolves aren’t really needed over at your camp.” He smiled, and Hongjoong nodded, still not looking at him.
“Have fun out there,” he muttered. “I’ll probably meet up with Yeosang to see how they’re holding up.”
Seonghwa nodded, saying one last goodbye before exiting the house.
The air had turned crisp rather quickly. Not quite cold, but a pleasant coolness from the soon-to-be-fall air.
And Seonghwa’s day was filled with far less pleasant things as he sat, listening to the council shout and drone and demand…. Honestly, he had stopped paying attention so long ago, idly wondering if Hongjoong was feeling any better.
He didn’t think there was any risk of an infection or anything, but perhaps his wolf needing to do so much extensive healing that it was giving him some sort of flu… it wasn’t unheard of, and probably harmless, but he had just seemed miserable about it…
It was early afternoon when Seonghwa couldn’t take another person giving a gentle suggestion that he quietly divorce Hongjoong and start over.
He stood. “And that’s all the time we have time for today,” Seonghwa said stiffly. “I’m sure we’ll have just as productive a meeting tomorrow.” He turned, striding from the room, ignoring the people calling after him, telling him to return.
Seonghwa needed a different approach. Another plan. Something more effective because this wasn’t getting them anywhere. This council was never going to accept Hongjoong and his pack…
He frowned as he strode back towards home. Maybe… there was something he could do? Maybe he could make a few changes… He’d need Hongjoong’s consent and help, but… it wasn’t entire implausible for him to-
Seonghwa paused as he turned onto his street, seeing a lone figure sitting on the steps to the house. Yeosang stared off into the distance, expression icy as he rested his head on his hand.
Seonghwa frowned slightly, walking over. Hongjoong had mentioned meeting with Yeosang. Had he simply stuck around after they were finished speaking? Why was he sitting outside?
They couldn’t have had a fight, right?
Yeosang’s head jerked up, nose twitching as he turned, watching Seonghwa walk down the street. He stood, body tensed, almost as if… as if preparing for a fight.
Seonghwa paused at the bottom of the steps, glancing behind Yeosang at the door to the house. “Why are you just sitting out here?” he questioned, confused. “Hongjoong didn’t lock you out, right?”
Yeosang was silent, something cold in his face as Seonghwa waited for a response.
“Okay…” Seonghwa stepped onto the first stair. “I can let you in-”
Yeosang shifted, standing in front of Seonghwa, blocking his path. “You can’t go inside, Seonghwa.”
Seonghwa stepped back at the almost aggressive move, stepping back onto the concrete. “Why?” he questioned, not angry, but not entirely… pleased with whatever Yeosang was doing.
Yeosang’s jaw flexed.
“Where’s Hongjoong?” Seonghwa demanded, something painful and cold inserting itself into his lower stomach. “He wasn’t feeling well this morning, and I’d like to-”
“Hongjoong’s in heat.”
Yeosang might as well have shoved Seonghwa into a river at winter, icy cold shock dousing Seonghwa, immobilizing and silencing him, mouth open and eyes staring as he tried to remember what words were.
Heat.
Hongjoong was…
And it wasn’t as if Seonghwa had forgotten that Hongjoong was an omega, but… somehow, it had slipped his mind that heats were going to be something that happened.
Hongjoong had never brought it up. Never mentioned it, and Seonghwa had been so focused on their injuries and their tentative movements around each other that he hadn’t even thought to consider…
Hongjoong was in heat right now.
“He’s inside?” Seonghwa said, voice a little weak and breathless. He felt like he couldn’t inhale.
Yeosang nodded stoically.
“And you’re here to make sure I don’t go in?” Seonghwa managed, something a little defensive, a little prickly edging his voice.
“I am.”
Seonghwa’s stomach suddenly twisted, shoving down the part of him that told him to shove Yeosang aside and go to Hongjoong because that was his mate- he was in heat, and Seonghwa was supposed to be there for him-
“He’s alone ?” he demanded, voice growing harder.
Yeosang’s arms crossed over his chest tightly. “Wooyoung is helping him.”
“ Wooyoung- ”
“ Relax ,” Yeosang snapped, not an ounce of leniency in his voice. He cared nothing for Seonghwa’s wants or desires. “I’m not whoring out my mate, so calm down . An omega’s presence is going to make this the least painful it can be. We’ve had a system down long before you ever entered the picture, Seonghwa, so stand down. ”
Seonghwa hadn’t even realized he had stepped forward, his hands tensed, even if his claws were still sheathed. He stepped away stiffly, feeling like his blood was made of cement.
Anyone knew that spending heats alone was… not pleasant. It wasn’t something that would kill an omega, but it was an unimaginably stressful experience for the omega. It was common for friends to help with unmated omegas-
But Hongjoong was not unmated.
“What is Wooyoung doing, then?” Seonghwa demanded stiffly.
It wasn’t anger at Yeosang. Not at Wooyoung or anyone really.
It was anxiety. An itch crawling beneath his skin, that instinct that came without thought, because Seonghwa had promised to help Hongjoong, he had promised to protect, to not leave him-
What if Hongjoong thought Seonghwa had left him?
“Making sure Hongjoong doesn’t hurt himself,” Yeosang said shortly, cold and immovable.
As inconvenient as Yeosang was being, Seonghwa was half-grateful that Hongjoong had someone like this standing at his side.
“Keeping him hydrated, getting him food… we’ve got this worked out.”
And Seonghwa was aware enough to know that this was all okay. It was right. It was what Hongjoong and them had discussed, but-
“I’m his mate ,” Seonghwa pressed. “I should be-”
“Hongjoong says the two of you never discussed his heats before,” Yeosang said sharply, leaving no space for Seonghwa to break in. “And that means you’re not going around him. I don’t care how much you think you’re in control of yourself- the two of you aren’t going anywhere near each other until his heat breaks.”
The deepest, most instinct-based part of Seonghwa told him to fight. To demand to see Hongjoong, to be with him, to not leave him in pain like that-
But every other part of him knew that Yeosang was completely correct.
They hadn’t talked about it. And given their tentative peace they were building, doing anything to help Hongjoong with his heat was out of the question.
God knows Hongjoong would have to be crazy to want Seonghwa to help him.
His jaw still ached where it clenched against the urge to move forward.
He swallowed the feeling rising in his throat. “He’s safe?”
Yeosang’s cold eyes appraised him for a moment before nodding. “He is. Wooyoung is going to keep him that way.”
Seonghwa tried to force the sensation of relief into his veins, but it only clogged them. “So what’s your plan?” Seonghwa questioned. “How long will he…”
Yeosang uncrossed his arms slowly, but still tensed for Seonghwa to move. “Hongjoong’s heats are usually quick, but they’re intense. Within a couple of days, the heat usually breaks, and he just spends another few days feeling sick. Wooyoung is going to stay with him until it breaks. I’m going to wait here until tonight when Wooyoung’ll give me an update on how he’s doing. You’re going to be staying with us over at the western housing until it’s over.”
Seonghwa didn’t want to do that, he wanted to be with Hongjoong, he wanted to help, he wanted to-
“Okay,” he said, forcing his voice to level off. Yeosang narrowed his eyes. “Can I at least sit until Wooyoung gives an update?” At the very least, would he allow him to know what was going on?
Yeosang had a clear distrust, and part of Seonghwa wanted to feel anger at the fact that Yeosang was acting like this, when it was Seonghwa’s mate-
But Yeosang had more say over Hongjoong’s wishes than Seonghwa probably ever would. He had been the one who spoke to Hongjoong, and he knew what they had agreed upon.
It would Seonghwa the worst sort of dirt to try and begrudge him that.
“As long as you behave,” Yeosang said flatly.
“I swear.”
Another beat of silence, and Yeosang nodded quietly, sitting down on one side of the steps, nodding to the space beside him. Seonghwa didn’t step up to his level, instead opting to sit on the bottom step, leaning against the wrought iron railing on either side.
He stared off and tried not to imagine what sort of pain Hongjoong was in-
“This is… how he spent his heats before?” Seonghwa asked carefully, controlling the innate part of him and forcing reason and concern to overrule it.
Yeosang was quiet for a long time, and Seonghwa assumed he was just going to ignore the question. “Yes,” he said, after much too long. “Wooyoung or one of our omegas would stay with him and make sure he didn’t hurt himself. It was usually Wooyoung… Hongjoong trusted him most. It’s how most of our unmated omega’s dealt with heats.”
Seonghwa hummed, trying not to feel that prick of discomfort at the thought. How many years Hongjoong had spent this time alone…
“What happened?” he asked, voice a little hoarse. “I left this morning… I noticed last night that he smelled different, and this morning he said he was tired… he said he was sore, but… His heat came that quickly?” He risked turning his head, glancing back at Yeosang who was back to staring out at the street.
Yeosang’s fingers were laced in front of him. He didn’t look at Seonghwa as he spoke. “Hongjoong’s heats have always hit quickly. It usually relies on him to keep track of how long it’s been, but given everything that happened…I’m not surprised the stress of it all messed with his schedule...”
He trailed off, once again, silence for almost too long.
“I came over not long after you left,” Yeosang murmured into his laced fingers. “Hongjoong was asleep upstairs, burning up. I got Wooyoung and cleared out. Once Hongjoong falls asleep tonight, Wooyoung will give an update before going back to take care of him until it breaks.”
And Seonghwa wanted to kick himself for noticing the scent change but just dismissing it. Was he really so stupid? The scent had been faint, but he should have assumed something was different, especially once Hongjoong started feeling sick-
“Should we get Eden?” Seonghwa questioned. “Is his heat one that makes him that sick?”
Yeosang shook his head. “We can have Eden check him over afterwards, but there’s no need for the heat itself. He’s miserable and in pain during it, but not in any danger.”
Seonghwa turned back around, not able to keep looking at the stoic alpha. “I thought I was being a better mate,” He muttered, stomach sinking sickeningly. “Clearly… I neglected something important.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I should have thought to ask him about it before… at the very least we could have prepared better,” he muttered, staring at his hand. “Just add that to the list of things I fucked up.”
Silence.
“You put Hongjoong first.”
Seonghwa turned slowly, twisting around to look up at Yeosang and found the other staring at him- eyes still stony, but not quite so icy. Almost apathetic. Almost warm. “What…?”
Yeosang hummed. “That’s why I haven’t acted on my threat,” he said, voice quiet but ringing in Seonghwa’s ears. “You may be shitty at this… and you may fuck up more than you make a correct move… but you put Hongjoong first…”
Seonghwa’s felt like he had just been punched in the throat.
“Evident in the fact I didn’t have to fight you to get you to stay out here,” Yeosang added. “Others might have only thought of their own desires… their own intentions- as noble as they might be. But you…” He nodded slowly, as if finally deciding on something. “You put Hongjoong first, even when you fuck up. Even when you hurt him. And that… is why I haven’t ripped your throat out yet.”
Seonghwa supposed that he should be thankful? Touched? Maybe a bit insulted?
But he just stared at Yeosang, as if he had just grown another head. “That… It isn’t hard to do,” Seonghwa said, his voice sounding dull in his ears. “Even if I can’t name everything that’s happening between us, I understand the basics of what I want and what Hongjoong wants. That’s all I need to know.”
Yeosang shifted slightly, head tilting to the side curiously, and Seonghwa could make out the ring of claiming marks at his neck.
“Those are quite a few marks,” he noted carefully.
Yeosang glanced along Seonghwa’s gaze, one eyebrow lifting. “ That’s a rather personal remark.” But his voice was lighter. Almost… amused. Not the icy anger of before.
And Seonghwa did feel a little out of line to bring it up, but he only shrugged slightly. “It’s not… entirely common for an omega to make their own claim marks.”
It happened, of course, but it wasn’t really assumed when you saw a pair of mates. You saw them more often on older mates, ones who had been together for a long time.
But it wasn’t surprising that Yeosang and Wooyoung would claim each other- it was clear that the attraction and loyalty of the two of them went deeper than Seonghwa could ever hope to understand.
And Yeosang… Yeosang almost looked a little smug about it. “Wooyoung claimed me first.”
That was surprising.
Seonghwa’s eyes widened as he turned more fully towards Yeosang. “Before you came to Hongjoong’s pack?” he questioned.
Yeosang nodded slowly. “Since before we left our old pack. It’s one of the reasons Wooyoung’s father was angry enough to throw him out.”
Seonghwa’s brow pulled down, something like horror mixed with admiration in his chest. “You were bonded that young?”
Yeosang snorted, and there was most definitely something softer, almost nostalgic in his gaze. “We weren’t bonded until we met Hongjoong. Our pack would have never allowed us. But Wooyoung and I…” He shrugged. “We didn’t need a bonding ceremony. We had already chosen each other. His father was furious .What alpha would want an omega that had claimed someone already? Wooyoung basically became damaged goods and lost any value he could have had in securing a good mate, in his father’s eyes.”
“Why would they not let you bond?” Seonghwa asked, frowning. “If you were an alpha that wanted Wooyoung?”
Yeosang actually laughed- not bitter or half-hearted, but genuinely amused. “I was barely an alpha in their eyes,” He snorted. “Wooyoung’s father originally wanted me to influence Wooyoung as an alpha, but he quickly saw that I was useless to him. My pack’s favorite pastime was telling me to fight and hunt and then throwing me in rivers when I refused.”
“But you fought for Wooyoung.”
Yeosang fell silent, almost pensive, and Seonghwa was sure he had said the wrong thing, but Yeosang simply inclined his head slowly. “For Wooyoung, I fought.” He nodded again, firmer this time. “The fear of something happening to him was greater than whatever part of me despised fighting.”
And Seonghwa… If Seonghwa thought he had been a little jealous of what Yeosang and Wooyoung had before, his stomach practically churned with it now.
Because where else in his life would he ever find something even close to what these two had?
“You don’t have to worry,” Yeosang said, almost kindly. “You and Hongjoong are on your way there, even if you don’t think so.”
Seonghwa wanted to scoff, but all that came out was a quiet hum.
Somehow, he didn’t believe him. But… part of him hopes that maybe Yeosang wasn’t humoring him.
But then again, when had Yeosang ever had the patience to humor him?
~~~~~~~
When the door opened behind them, Seonghwa nearly jumped out of his skin, whipping around as Wooyoung stepped out, closing the door behind himself.
He and Yeosang stood as Wooyoung came out, looking a little haggard and tired. Wooyoung went straight to Yeosang, tucking himself against his side as Yeosang’s arms came around him firmly. Wooyoung sighed heavily, nosing along Yeosang’s neck gently.
And aside from the fact that Seonghwa felt like he was watching something he shouldn’t be (despite the action being quite suitable for public display), he realized that he forgot to account for Wooyoung.
The one who actually stood beside Hongjoong while he lay in pain, unable to do anything for him but provide whatever comfort he could manage from the barrier of their biology. Seonghwa couldn’t imagine what sort of stress that put on Wooyoung as the one charged with caring for Hongjoong, but he suddenly felt a spike of pity and gratitude for the omega.
Wooyoung pulled away from Yeosang’s neck, but kept his body pressed against him, shaking his head as if to clear it.
“He’s doing okay,” he said, voice a little rough, as if he had been speaking a lot. “He.. more passed out than fell asleep, but for now, the waves have slowed down compared to earlier. He probably won’t sleep much tonight, and tomorrow will probably exhaust him, but by tomorrow night, I think it’ll break.”
Yeosang absently brushed a piece of hair behind Wooyoung’s ear.
“He’s eaten a good bit,” Wooyoung assured them. “Threw some of it up, but kept down most of the liquid I gave him. He spent most of the time curled up in a ball, but when it got bad, I ran a cold bath for him, which seemed to help.” He scrubbed at his eyes a little, making a noise of trying to remember what else to tell them.
“He’s asked about you a couple of times.”
Seonghwa stopped breathing as Wooyoung glanced up.
“He asked where you were, what you were doing…” He rolled his lips tightly. “He wondered why you weren’t there.” It was clear that Wooyoung didn’t like delivering that statement anymore than Seonghwa’s heart enjoyed hearing it.
The knife in his chest twisted oh… so… slowly.
“I explained why you weren’t there,” Wooyoung assured him. “And he wasn’t… upset about it, but… you know, it’s his heat, he…” Wooyoung looked pitying, rubbing the back of his neck. “He knows he has a mate, and he wanted you, but… when he was outside the episodes, he understood. He understood that before the heat ever started.”
Did that make Seonghwa feel any better?
Well, it perhaps prevented him from acting on the urge to stab himself in the chest, but not much more than that.
And, once more, he felt a twinge of pity for Wooyoung for having to play damage control for that.
“I’m gonna head back in,” Wooyoung said, voice heavy. “Hopefully, the night will be light for him, but…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he leaned into Yeosang one more time.
Yeosang murmured something to him, running his hand through his hair once as Wooyoung pulled away, nodding, smiling gently.
It was something that seemed too intimate, despite its supposed normalcy.
They unwrapped their arms from each other, Wooyoung murmuring a quiet goodbye as he turned back to the door-
“Wooyoung.”
He glanced back, hand braced on the doorknob, eyebrow raised.
Seonghwa swallowed around the needle sitting in his throat. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
There was an entire list of things that fell under the statement, but Wooyoung simply offered him a slightly-larger smile as he flashed a thumbs up. “Gotta keep your mate company while you’re sitting on your ass out here, don’t I?”
And maybe Seonghwa should have felt a… something at the statement. Anger or bitterness or defensiveness…
He simply cracked a wry smile back at Wooyoung as he disappeared back inside the house.
He really was a useless alpha like Hongjoong said, huh?
Better useless than asshole, he supposed.
“Let’s head to the western housing,” Yeosang said, voice a little heavier, eyes lingering on the door for a moment. “There’s no more reason to hang around.”
Seonghwa was reluctant to leave, despite Yeosang being correct and there being no reason to linger, but he still kept an eye on the house. It felt like only abandoning Hongjoong further, but…
He didn’t complain as Yeosang lead him away from both of their mates.
~~~~~~~
The following 24 hours of waiting for the next evening was hell for Seonghwa.
He occupied himself with ignoring the council members and speaking with the others of Hongjoong’s pack, asking their opinion on certain things related to their treatment and time here.
But when the sun finally went down and Yeosang deemed it late enough to go check back with Wooyoung, Seonghwa felt like he was going to be sick.
It wasn’t quite midnight, the air a little more frigid where they stepped out onto the street.
The walk to the house took too long, but no time at all, and all too soon, the door was opening and Wooyoung stuck his head out, looking even more tired than yesterday, but smiling with relief.
“It broke a couple of hours ago,” he said quietly. “He didn’t sleep last night, so he’s exhausted and everything else that comes with a heat ending, but he’s been fine since around 7. He’s currently asleep in the bathtub.”
Seonghwa allowed himself to feel relief this time.
The force of it cleared his veins, making it feel like his heart was properly beating for the first time since… maybe even the battle with Exo. In the moment where Seonghwa stopped holding onto everything he thought they should be and just allowed himself to feel in the moment.
Hongjoong was okay.
“You’re sure?” Seonghwa questioned, a little breathless. “He’s not going to react to two alphas coming in?”
Wooyoung shook his head. “Eden stopped by about an hour ago to check up on him. He’s fine, but Eden’s gonna stop by at some point just for a follow up.”
Wooyoung allowed them both indoors.
The house reeked of the sugary fragrance of Hongjoong’s scent. Even downstairs, it permeated the air, making it feel like he was pressed against Hongjoong and breathing. Seonghwa automatically brought a hand up to his nose, not expecting the sudden onslaught.
Wooyoung laughed at him, grinning as he headed up stairs. “Just don’t tell me he smells that bad? He’ll be heartbroken.”
Seonghwa followed behind Yeosang up the stairs. It wasn’t that the scent was bad (in fact Seonghwa probably thought it smelled a little too nice) but there was so much of it.
In his bedroom, the covers were pulled off the bed, leaving just the sheets, even the pillows thrown onto the floor.
“He couldn’t get comfortable,” Wooyoung noted. “Lots of tossing and turning.”
They paused in the bedroom, and Seonghwa did as well, eyes falling over to the bathroom door that was left ajar. He glanced back to them, and Wooyoung placed his hands on his hips, as if looking at a job well done.
“Well,” he said firmly. “He already ate a little this evening and drank some, so he’s good to sleep through the night. He’s been in the bath for a while, but there’s no rush to get him out.” He jerked his head towards the door. “Yeosang and I are gonna spend the night downstairs, just in case, but you shouldn’t need us for anything.”
Seonghwa blinked. “You… You’re leaving?”
“No, I just said, we’ll be downstairs-”
“You’re just leaving him with me ?”
Wooyoung frowned. “His heat’s broken. All you have to do is make sure he winds up in a bed at some point. There’s no reason for Yeosang and I to hang around but to make sure you don’t need anything during the night.”
And, yeah, there was no way Seonghwa would ever dream of trying anything or taking any action that could potentially hurt Hongjoong, but it seemed startling that he was just… being trusted with Hongjoong after that hostility of earlier…
“Okay,” he found himself saying quietly. “Thank you both… for everything.”
Even Yeosang gave him a quiet, knowing smile as Wooyoung gave an encouraging thumbs up. “He’ll be clingy,” Wooyoung assured him as the two of them exited towards the bedroom door. “But not in a way that he’ll try to suck your dick.”
Seonghwa’s protest stuck in his throat as Yeosang smacked Wooyoung lightly (probably because of the omega’s exhausted state) and the two of them were gone.
The bathroom smelled even more heavily of Hongjoong, but without such a strong sugar aroma. It smelled more pure. Less artificial, and more like the Hongjoong scent he was familiar with.
The floor was a little slick with water, but it was silent save for the small drip…drip… drip… of the faucet leaking into the tub that held a sleeping form.
Seonghwa entered quietly, peering in before entering the rest of the way.
Hongjoong lay against the edge of the large bathtub, all of him underwater but a small part of his chest and his head that tilted to the side slightly, cheeks flushed and hair sticking to his forehead by either sweat or water.
Most of his body was hidden among the water, but even the small part of his chest exposed, Seonghwa could see the lines of scars he had only witnessed once before.
And like before, something inside of him was both pained and drawn to the scars. There was a desire to take them away, to fix them, to stop them from ever happening-
But there was also a desire to learn them, to hear where they came from, to admire them because they, more than anything else, held the proof of Hongjoong’s strength. They were the physical, undeniable proof that Hongjoong had conquered every threat.
Long before Seonghwa ever knew him.
Seonghwa wondered if it was a good time to wake him… if he was still feverish, was it okay to take him from the cold bath? Wooyoung had said he could remove him anytime…
Seonghwa squatted down beside the tub, not even bothering for his pants leg that was immediately damp with water on the ground.
Hongjoong’s skin looked feverish, but when Seonghwa brushed a gentle hand along his shoulder, it almost felt clammy- the skin itself chilled, but the blood within still burning its way out.
Even the small touch made Hongjoong shift, expression shifting as he breathed in deeply, coming towards waking.
Something inside of Seonghwa felt like it was slowly melting away.
Hongjoong’s eyes cracked open- glassy and glazed from the fever, half-lidded and more than exhausted. They stared at Seonghwa for almost too long before Hongjoong swallowed thickly. “Seonghwa…” It was barely a breath, quiet and weak and not at all how Seonghwa had ever heard Hongjoong sound.
But his chest stirred as Seonghwa allowed a quiet smile on his face as he carefully brushed some of the hair from Hongjoong’s forehead. “Hi,” he whispered, feeling the heat of his skin as Hongjoong’s eyes fell shut once more, tilting his head to follow Seonghwa’s hand that brushed lightly through his hair.
Seonghwa paused his movement, and Hongjoong leaned into his hand, nose brushing the side of Seonghwa’s arm. A deep, quiet breath sounded from Hongjoong, followed by Hongjoong humming in contentment. As if… comforted by the scent.
And it was with sickening clarity that Seonghwa realized he had missed Hongjoong, even only after two days of being away.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” Seonghwa whispered without thinking, guilt settling in his chest, despite the fact that it was impossible for him to be with him before.
Hongjoong hummed quietly in the back of his throat. “‘S okay,” he muttered weakly. “I… ‘m okay…”
Not the only criteria Seonghwa was trying to meet.
The entire weight of Hongjoong’s head rested in his hands, the omega too weak to even hold it up. Seonghwa ran a thumb over his damp cheek, something warm dumping into his blood. “Are you ready to get out of here?” Seonghwa murmured quietly as Hongjoong nuzzled into his hand lightly.
There was a noise that sounded like an affirmative in Hongjoong’s throat.
Seonghwa knew there was no way Hongjoong would likely be able to get himself out of this tub without breaking his neck, and he glanced around for a moment, frowning. “Okay,” he decided quietly.
He stood, Hongjoong making a quiet noise of protest in the back of his throat.
“I’m not even leaving the room,” Seonghwa promised, running a hand over his cheek, just because it felt right and he could . His chest warmed just a little at the reaction as he grabbed some towels from the cabinet and laid one on the toilet lid and keeping the other on the counter. He settled back on the ground at the tub.
“Hongjoong, I know you’re tired, but can you get your arms around me? I need to pick you up.”
Hongjoong made a noise of protest, nose scrunching before relaxing again. “Y’ shirt,” he muttered. “Gon’ get wet…”
Seonghwa chuckled low in his chest. “It’s just a shirt, Hongjoong. Can I pick you up?”
Hongjoong was currently very naked in the bathtub.
But he nodded weakly. And Seonghwa reached into the water that was probably once freezing that was now only a mild cold, taking both of Hongjoong’s arms out and bringing them to his neck. “Can you hold on enough just to balance yourself?”
He felt Hongjoong’s arms tense slightly, and figured that was as good as he could get, so Seonghwa plunged his arms back in, one coming around Hongjoong back and the other slipping under his knees. He could feel the ridges and bumps of the scars under his hand.
And Seonghwa had earlier made the observation that Hongjoong was bony, but as he lifted him, he realized that Hongjoong’s had some weight to him. Still nothing on the side of heavy, but Seonghwa found himself surprised by the density of the body in his arms.
Water dripped off of Hongjoong’s mostly limp body, but Seonghwa could feel him hanging on as best he could. Seonghwa’s entire body was immediately soaked as well, but he simply stood carefully, bringing Hongjoong over to the toilet lid and sitting him on towel.
“Alright,” he murmured, keeping on hand to hold him upright and grabbing the other towel. “I’m gonna dry you off, okay?”
Hongjoong nodded tiredly, eyes closed and struggling to help keep himself sitting up to help Seonghwa. He made quick work- even as he tried not to pause to stare at the multitude of scars that ranged from neat and thin to places that had clearly had chunks torn away.
Despite the fact Hongjoong probably felt no pain from them, Seonghwa was careful as he ran the cloth over them, drying his arms and legs and torso just enough that water was no longer dripping from them, laying the towel over his hair and just stopping the excess water from falling.
Hongjoong half-leaned on him the whole time, dozing in and out, trying to follow Seonghwa’s whispered instructions to lift this limb or that.
“Okay, done,” he said quietly, setting the towel down. “Ready for bed?”
The small hum that left Hongjoong could have been a positive or a negative, but it was definitely more exhausted than the previous responses, and Seonghwa simply placed his arm beneath his legs again and lifted him.
He laid Hongjoong down gently, his head lolling to the side against the pillow, still and quiet and peaceful, despite the flush to his skin. He simply let Seonghwa arrange him on the bed.
Between laying him gently on the bed and grabbing a pair of light pajamas, Hongjoong had already fallen asleep, face still flushed but his breathing even and slow. He carefully maneuvered Hongjoong’s limp limbs into the clothes, shifting him onto the pillow more comfortably.
Hongjoong never stirred.
For a moment, he simply stood there, observing the rise and fall of his chest, and Seonghwa felt something dense settle in his chest.
It felt… nice, to be able to do this. To be able to take care of Hongjoong.
To be useful to his mate.
Seonghwa laid in the bed beside him after changing from his soaked clothing.
At first he resided at a distance, but only minutes later he sighed, shifting over in the bed and settling closer to Hongjoong.
It smelled like the natural Hongjoong he was used to. The one that smelled like wild and his camp and earth. Seonghwa dropped his head down, the scent of him embedded in the sheets and pillows.
It was comforting. Familiar. Like a family home.
Hongjoong may be the strongest person Seonghwa had ever known, but it felt nice to be able to do something other than bumble out genuine but ill-delivered compliments or niceties.
It felt nice to be comfortable.
Even if Seonghwa couldn’t be with him to help with his heat, he at least was glad that he got to do this. And maybe it did more for him than it did for Hongjoong.
But Seonghwa couldn’t deny the little candle burning in his chest when Hongjoong drew closer to, rather than away from, Seonghwa’s touch.
Notes:
Only one more to go ㅠㅠㅠ
Have an amazing day and let me know what you thought~~
-SS
Chapter 6: Instinct to Cherish
Notes:
The final chapter ㅠㅠㅠ
I’m honestly blown away by how much attention this has gotten, and I was so worried to upload it~~
Thank you to everyone who stuck with me, and I hope this was as good as I tried to make it!
Have an amazing day, and let me know what you thought of the final chapter!
-SS
(Ao3 is being weird again and not letting me put 6/6 but this story IS complete! I’m sorry, I’ll try to keep fixing it!)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hongjoong entered the kitchen where Seonghwa was sitting and drinking a coffee.
He had woken up, but Hongjoong remained resolutely unconscious beside him, his arm winding up thrown across Seonghwa and his face pressed to Seonghwa’s shoulder.
Seonghwa heart had done a rather painful tap dance in his chest as he tried to slip from Hongjoong’s grasp without disturbing him.
Even sleeping, he still held that absolute power, but it was softened by long lashes brushing his cheek and soft lips parted in quiet breaths.
Seonghwa glanced up at the noise of bare feet on wood, and Hongjoong turned the corner into the kitchen, a robe wrapped around himself, and his head seeming heavy as he looked up through his bangs.
His arms were wrapped tightly around himself as he stood there for a moment, and Seonghwa sat up further in his chair as he leaned against the door frame.
A weak smile flitted over Hongjoong’s lips. “The fever broke, and now I’m just cold as shit,” he half-laughed, still clearly not entirely himself.
Seonghwa forced his tongue to unglue itself from the roof of his mouth. “Do you want something warm to drink?”
Hongjoong chuckled. “I’m pretty sure anything I eat, I’ll throw up.”
“What about just a lemon tea?” Seonghwa offered. “Eden brought over a couple different teas that should calm your stomach a little.”
“Eden must hate us, huh? We’re depleting all his teas and herbs,” Hongjoong muttered, shaking his head as he walked in, sitting across from Seonghwa heavily. “But I honestly don’t know if my stomach hurts from the heat or not eating, so sure… we’ll try a lemon tea.”
Seonghwa stood readily, nodding. “Want crackers?” he asked as he took the tea from the cabinet.
“Sure.”
Seonghwa placed the package in front of Hongjoong, listening to him open it up carefully as Seonghwa put on the little electric kettle, turning around to lean against the counter as Hongjoong nibbled on the edge of a cracker, staring blankly at the wood of the table.
Seonghwa’s jaw flexed carefully. “You okay?” He still seemed out of it.
Hongjoong stopped nibbling, lowering the cracker, but still staring a thousand miles away. “Mm,” he hummed in affirmation. “Just reminding myself that letting you do all this isn’t being weak.”
Seonghwa straightened, startled.
Seonghwa had always tried to walk a fine line: a balance between the part of him that wanted to do everything for Hongjoong and the part that understood that Hongjoong didn’t want everything done for him.
But Seonghwa figured that something as simple as making tea… getting him something to eat… Were those crossing a line?
“I didn’t mean-”
“You didn’t,” Hongjoong said, eyes finally focusing as he lifted them to stare at Seonghwa, dark circles under them, but a surprisingly clarity given how out of it he had been. “You’re not doing anything wrong , Seonghwa,” he said firmly. “But I told you… I’m going to be difficult for you. Even if you’re just doing something nice for me.”
He averted his eyes, nibbling the cracker again.
Seonghwa understood that. And could even respect that- Hongjoong wanted his own freedoms, and Seonghwa was happy to give those, but he had no knowledge on what was hard and fast or what was negotiable…
“Okay,” Seonghwa said quietly, wetting his lips. “Then, how about, if I do something nice… and it’s excessive… you can tell me to fuck off, and I’ll stop doing that.”
It seemed like such an easy solution. But Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa as if he had suggested something borderline ridiculous.
His lips quirked despite it. “Is my bitchy attitude starting to appeal to you?” he questioned coyly.
Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong.
His sly eyes and quirked lips and tired expression but burning fire inside. Still burning so brightly.
“Yeah,” he answered quietly. “I’m starting to appreciate it.”
Hongjoong’s jaw tightened, something in his eyes shifting. “You’re going to start making me look like an asshole if you keep giving in like that,” he said, voice a little rough as he swallowed.
“We’re both assholes,” Seonghwa assured him, the kettle beeping behind him. He turned, pouring it over the power tea in the mug he had pulled. “But I…” He set the kettle down slowly, staring at the ripples as the half-steeped water shifted.
Hongjoong had been through so much.
Both of them had.
And Seonghwa had stopped thinking about how much he wasn’t what Hongjoong deserved.
And just started thinking of all the things Hongjoong deserved that he could give.
And somewhere, somehow, that infuriating smirk and snappy attitude had remained infuriating but was tinged with something inside of Seonghwa that never wanted to watch that fire die.
Not knowing what Hongjoong had gone through to get it and keep it.
Not after Hongjoong directed it at Seonghwa, and Seonghwa… smiled .
“But I…” He curled his fingers into a loose fist. “I’m certainly coming to appreciate being placed under your rage, even when I have no plans to return it.”
Because yelling at Seonghwa meant that Hongjoong was still alive. Still fiery and kicking and causing whatever havoc he desired.
It meant that Suho hadn’t won.
It meant that he had never broken Hongjoong, despite his every effort.
There was a loud scrape and the sound of a chair falling, and Seonghwa turned quickly, fearing the worst of Hongjoong fainting or falling-
But he was suddenly backed against the counter, Hongjoong filling in his space as a cool hand wrapped around his neck, dragging him down until that sly mouth was pressing against his, hard and insistent.
Seonghwa’s hands fell to Hongjoong’s waist automatically- not pulling closer or pushing away- as Hongjoong tilted his head, licking against Seonghwa lips until Seonghwa got the message and deepened it, relaxing against Hongjoong’s smaller frame that he could feel pressed against him.
Hongjoong still tasted a little sugary, mixed with rainwater, his hand tight on the back of Seonghwa’s neck, a short moan deep in his throat as his other hand came up to cup Seonghwa’s jaw, dragging along until it tangled in his hair.
Seonghwa felt like he was burning, eyes falling closed as Hongjoong pressed into the kiss more, tongue sliding along Seonghwa’s firmly, purposefully, a quiet sigh against his lips as he nipped at Seonghwa’s lip-
Seonghwa moaned, chasing the lips that were definitely smirking against his, one of his arms pressing to the small of Hongjoong’s back, pulling him closer as he readily followed, keening into Seonghwa’s mouth-
They suddenly parted, just enough to breathe each other’s air, Hongjoong’s eyes dark and heavy as he stared into Seonghwa’s, as fiery as any fight the two had had.
“If you don’t stop saying stuff like that,” Hongjoong panted, wetting his lips, “I am going to have an extremely hard time keeping a distance.”
Seonghwa’s hand tightened on his waist, until they were flush against each other, every contact point burning and freezing, something thick and almost fearful swirling in his stomach. “Who said anything about keeping a distance?” he breathed.
“We did,” Hongjoong reminded him breathlessly, his chest rising and falling against Seognhwa’s. “The whole thing about… taking it slow and… figuring stuff out.” His eyes bore into Seonghwa’s- almost challenging, almost amused.
Hongjoong’s finger ran down the column of his neck in a barely-there tickle, making Seonghwa shiver. “I also said that I was willing to give as little or as much as you wanted,” Seonghwa reminded him, something warming in his stomach as Hongjoong grinned, eyes curving in a delighted smile. “How much do you want?” he questioned quietly, eyes tracing Hongjoong’s face that he had once found delicate and fragile.
But he now found delicate and beau-
Hongjoong actually paused, considering it silently, expression pensive.
“If I asked you to…” He wet his lips, swallowing tightly. “If I said that… I wanted you to help… with my next heat.” Seonghwa’s heart dropped. Hongjoong’s eyes bore into his. “What would you say?”
Seonghwa felt like he was choking.
“I…” He searched Hongjoong’s eyes, only filled with fierce decisiveness. “I… would ask if you were sure… and why…?”
Hongjoong didn’t laugh. Didn’t grin. Just kept staring at Seonghwa like… like he was something marvelous happening right in front of him.
He had never quite been looked at like that before.
“Because,” he said, voice hoarse. “Despite everything you’ve ever told me or yourself… from the moment you met me in the clearing in the woods… I knew I could trust you.”
God, Seonghwa was going to throw up.
Hongjoong’s hand lowered from his neck, brushing down his side as he sought out the hand resting at his waist. “And from the moment you stood by with me… against Suho… I knew I could rely on you.”
Their fingers laced tightly, Hongjoong’s eyes dropping down to stare at their intertwined hands. “And from the moment you told me that all of my doubts… all of my issues… were inconsequential to you… that you would stay, regardless…” He brought their hands up, resting his lips against their knuckles. “I knew I wanted you to be with me… for as long as you could possibly put up with me,” he murmured, lips brushing skin.
Hongjoong’s eyes weren’t scared, but they were clouded with every emotion under the sun, like throwing flakes of metal into flame and watching it spark.
“You’re my mate, Seonghwa,” he said, lifting his eyes, squeezing his hand. “But before that and more than that, you… are someone…” He paused, swallowing. “You’re someone I don’t mind giving power to. You’re someone I don’t fear, and you’re someone I trust to see me at my worst because you’ve already seen that, Seonghwa. And you stayed.”
Seonghwa was sure he hadn’t taken a single breath since Hongjoong began. But he lowered their hands from Hongjoong’s lips, taking his other to caress his cheek, the skin cool and smooth against his warm hand.
Hongjoong, once more, leaned into the touch.
He wanted that touch. Welcomed it. Not tolerated it. Not reacted to it.
Seonghwa’s mouth was as dry as stone. “I would never… try to hurt you,” Seonghwa whispered. “Do you know that?”
Hongjoong laughed, something a little sad, a little quiet, but genuine as he nodded, eyes shining.
“So you know if I ever do… it’s only because I’m an asshole alpha who probably can’t see around my own ego, right?” Hongjoong chuckled, nodding again as Seonghwa’s thumb stroked his cheek gently, reveling in the soft skin beneath it. “And if I do… you have full rights to tear me apart before Yeosang can even hear about it, right?”
Hongjoong’s eyes shimmered like a mirage in the sand. “You bet I do,” he said, too soft, too fond.
Seonghwa nodded numbly. “Just making sure.”
There was a beat where Seonghwa only saw Hongjoong and his laughing, genuine smile that wasn’t a grin, but a smile . “That’s good,” He murmured. “Now… do you have an answer to that request that sparked the poetics?”
Seonghwa chuckled, and God, he didn’t even know when he had become addicted to that spark.
He leaned down, pressing his lips to the crown of Hongjoong’s head as he pulled him into a loose embrace.
It felt good… being able to hold him.
“Hongjoong, I will take care of you during your heats, if you want,” He assured him, inhaling the scent of woodsmoke and floral. “And every day before and after that, for as long as you want.”
Seonghwa wanted to keep guarding that spark. That flame. He wanted to ensure that nothing ever threatened it.
And maybe that made him selfish, but more than anything he wanted… he just wanted to keep seeing that fire that threatened to burn him to the ground if he even thought about mishandling it.
Hongjoong poked his side hard, but Seonghwa didn’t even shift. “I told you to stop saying that stuff-”
“Hongjoong, the last thing I want at the moment is you at a distance,” Seonghwa assured him.
“Asshole,” Hongjoong muttered, rubbing his face against Seonghwa’s shirt. He settled against his shoulder, breathing out sharply. “You smell nice,” he mumbled, the hand that had poked him curled into the hem of his shirt. “I…”
Hongjoong twisted the shirt around his fingers. “I wanted to ask you about helping with this heat,” he confessed quietly. “But I couldn’t… I didn’t know… I just couldn’t bring myself to ask. I just kept putting off, and then… it was too late.”
“I would have,” Seonghwa whispered, stomach twisting. “Without hesitation.”
Hongjoong chuckled. “Because this omega body is just that nice?” he asked, wiggling his hips.
“No,” Seonghwa murmured, seriously. “Because the thought of you in pain, when I could stop it, is the single-most excruciating thought I can imagine.”
Seonghwa never wanted to be that helpless for Hongjoong again. Not like with Suho, when his own weakness had hurt them so severely.
Hongjoong paused for several moments before he sighed deeply, shaking his head. “I fucking warned you,” he muttered, lifting his eyes that were swimming. “If you aren’t kissing me in three seconds, I’m going to be fucking piss-”
Hongjoong melted against him much too quickly, drawing him closer, pressing further against him-
His tea was probably cold at this point.
Hongjoong’s lips moved over his just as fiercely as before, raw and red as he bit at Seonghwa’s, hands tight wherever they pressed- possessive and rock-solid. Nothing was going to break that hold on him.
Seonghwa held him by his hips, something simmering low in his veins as he kissed him and Hongjoong kissed him back, rushing like boiling water through his body, burning and burning-
Seonghwa felt like they were moving impossibly fast, feet flying under them but not even fully touching the ground, but he knew that this was absolutely something he refused to let go-
Hongjoong moaned as Seonghwa’s tongue ran alongside his, curling and twisting-
And he figured that, given everything he had just said, Hongjoong was on board as well.
And for once , Seonghwa stopping thinking and thinking and planning and worrying-
And he just let instinct take over.
~~~~~~~
Hongjoong was suddenly being picked up- far too easily, in his opinion- and perched on the counter, Seonghwa stepping between his legs, firm hands on his legs that ensured he didn’t fall, but didn’t restrict him, as hooked a leg behind Seonghwa, pulling him forward.
The change in angle only made it that much easier for Hongjoong’s hands to guide Seonghwa’s lips back to his, giving him the advantage to suck on Seonghwa’s tongue-
He moaned, choked off and genuine, and it sent such a thrill of excitement through Hongjoong-
He was excited .
He was so fucking ready for whatever he and Seonghwa threw together.
Hongjoong wanted to say that he had been ready for this since the end of the battle, but he knew that was a lie.
But he sure as hell was ready for it now.
Seonghwa tasted like herbal tea and the coffee he had been drinking, Hongjoong drowning in floral lavenders and roses that were sweet pea and honeysuckle-
Seonghwa pulled away for a moment, just to breathe, and Hongjoong got a look at… his eyes.
They weren’t wild, despite the heat of the kiss, they weren’t clouded or wide. They looked at Hongjoong, soft… gentle… almost in awe… A startling contrast to the swollen red of his lips, but he didn’t look at Hongjoong as if he wanted to devour him.
He looked as if he… he wanted something else.
Hongjoong didn’t know why he was surprised. Seonghwa had been explicit from the beginning about what he thought of Hongjoong. What he wanted for both of them. And no part of his plans involved anything more or less than the one thing Hongjoong had always sought: protection.
The mood of the kiss changed.
It was a burning, slow drag of lips that sparked something entirely different but startlingly similar to the heat he had just broken.
Not the frantic desire. But the slow, burning from the inside out that had driven Hongjoong crazy for two days- now a controlled environment, careful and reaching and agonizingly slow.
Hongjoong felt his toes curl as Seonghwa threaded fingers through the back of his hair gently, lips moving slow and smooth, driving Hongjoong insane, but he would give anything for it to never end.
Seonghwa promised to protect Hongjoong.
Not from everything. But from whatever Hongjoong asked of him. As little… or as much…
Hongjoong had cried too much because of the man trailing gentle kisses over his cheek. But, God, if he was the only reason Hongjoong cried for the rest of his life, that was okay with him.
Seonghwa pressed careful, purposeful kisses down Hongjoong’s throat, a gentle hand finding the skin just underneath the hem of his shirt. Hongjoong swallowed thickly, the skin tingling where he left a trail, very carefully avoiding the curve of his neck.
“Seonghwa,” he breathed, barely audible, but not trusting his voice to go any louder without breaking horrifically.
He hummed, nosing along the curve of his neck and dear God, Seonghwa was scenting him again-
Hongjoong should probably be scared. By just how much he trusted Seonghwa. How much he just… enjoyed the other.
The most intoxicating part of this whole scene was thinking about how only weeks ago, he and Seonghwa had been at each other’s throat in another way entirely.
Thinking about how Seonghwa had slowly set aside his pride and how Hongjoong had slowly allowed him in, letting him look around Hongjoong tragedy-cluttered life and waiting… And Seonghwa simply nodded at it, saying he liked the color scheme he had going on.
Seonghwa promising that no matter how Hongjoong doubted, he would stay.
Hongjoong wanted to know why Seonghwa had taken so fiercely to all this. But… the how didn’t matter, because Hongjoong was pretty sure the why was the same as him.
It was a reason he was afraid to voice so quickly, so he kept it tucked away, like his claws, ready to wield at a moment’s notice, but knowing that now was not the time.
Seonghwa pulled away, looking up at Hongjoong, their noses brushing at their proximity, and Seonghwa’s eyes were still soft, still gentle, still staring as if he had no intention of ever looking away, and Hongjoong’s stomach was twisting violently at the thought that Seonghwa really had promised to stay with him for as long as Hongjoong wanted.
Only as long as he wanted.
Hongjoong was sure, more than anything else in life, that no other wolf could have ever been his mate but this one. Hongjoong wouldn’t want any other but this one.
Part of him wondered if this is what Yeosang and Wooyoung felt like, seeing each other.
Seeing another person who had been with you through so much… and stayed regardless. Someone who promised you so much, someone who just made you feel like everything inside of you was trying to force its way into your heart-
They weren’t kissing anymore. Simply watching each other quietly, peacefully…
Hongjoong said he wanted to give Seonghwa everything. And maybe it had been dramatic or overzealous, but after everything, Hongjoong knew so firmly that he would never find another person he could trust like Seonghwa.
And Seonghwa, that stupid, righteous alpha, had to make it complicated with deserving it-
Like Hongjoong’s life held that much value… that he wouldn’t dare touch it until he knew he could treat it… how it deserved…
God , Hongjoong was going to kill him.
“You’re beautiful.”
Painfully .
Hongjoong couldn’t help but laugh at Seonghwa quiet whisper of an admission, pressing their foreheads together, feeling so sickeningly sweet, but thriving . “Thanks,” he said quietly. “It’s the heat and the fever.”
Hongjoong had expected awkwardness and silence after the ordeal with his heat. But he only found a pleasant comfortability that felt like laying down in clover.
Seonghwa’s lips quirked, but it almost seemed like he barely heard Hongjoong, eyes tracing slowly over his face, memorizing and committing to memory.
Seonghwa had called him strong so many times.
Beautiful was a new one.
Seonghwa’s hand touched his cheek, trailing over the skin slowly, just feeling and tracing. Unbelievably soft. Hongjoong had once thought Seonghwa incapable of being anything close to gentle, but here he was, eyes falling shut, falling into the sensation of gentle traces against his skin.
Strange, how they could go back and forth so quickly between carefully testing against each other, still not sure where they stood, not sure what they were, but knowing where they were going… and having an inherent reaction, an instinctive desire that both of them seemed to follow without even noticing.
How they went back and forth between being scared at the thought of being intimate… to so naturally falling into each other.
And all of Seonghwa’s gentleness… never once made Hongjoong feel fragile.
It made him feel treasured. Like knowing something wouldn’t break, but treating it carefully just out of… respect.
Hongjoong’s lips curled, in the type of smile he hadn’t had in so long, as he pressed their foreheads together firmly. “Are we sitting here all day?” he questioned. “Or are you gonna make me a new tea?”
Seonghwa seemed to actually be considering both options. “Are you still feeling sick?”
Hongjoong had forgotten all about being sick, but shook his head. “Not at the moment.”
Seonghwa withdrew slowly. “Then we should get you something to eat before you feel like throwing up again.”
Hongjoong suddenly pulled him back arms looping around his neck and his legs wrapped around his waist, pulling himself off the counter until he hung completely on Seonghwa who caught him quickly, hands supporting his legs to keep him up.
“Hong-”
“Wooyoung should have warned you,” He said, grinning. “I get clingy.”
He felt excited . Fuck it- Hopeful .
Seonghwa rolled his eyes, but there was nothing but warmth in them that made Hongjoong’s stomach curl. “I’m supposed to make you breakfast.”
“You can do that,” He said, settling against Seonghwa’s shoulder, shifting until he rested comfortably like a koala. “I don’t mind.”
“Hongj-”
“What?” he questioned, pulling back to smile wickedly. “You’re a big, strong alpha, aren’t you?” he asked coyly. “You can hold your little omega mate for a while, can’t you?”
Seonghwa stared at him flatly, and Hongjoong waited, seeing if he would take the bait-
A hand suddenly squeezed his side, and Hongjoong yelped at the tickle, holding on tighter as he tensed against Seonghwa, but then another hand was pinching his other side, and Hongjoong thrashed around him for a moment before barking out a sharp laugh, letting go and letting himself land on the ground, backing away and shoving Seonghwa’s hands away.
“Stop it,” he snapped, lips curling even as he glared. “You’re an asshole.”
“We established that already,” Seonghwa told him, looking too amused. “I need my hands to cook,” he informed him primly. “My little omega mate can live without his big, strong alpha for ten minutes, can’t you?”
Seonghwa’s grin was wicked, and Hongjoong loved it.
Seonghwa wanted to protect Hongjoong’s spark . But, by God, if it wasn’t the most thrilling thing to have Seonghwa’s spark battling his own.
Hongjoong never thought he would have been content with a mate that fought him at every turn, given how infuriating Seonghwa had been before, but he was finding himself much too drawn to the thought of having to fight his way through every conversation.
It felt exhilarating .
Hongjoong spent too much of his life fighting to be appealed by anything easy .
Seonghwa did not find him weak, and he did not find submissiveness to be attractive in Hongjoong.
Seonghwa wanted Hongjoong to fight, but he was never going to make it easy on him.
Hongjoong loved it .
Seonghwa turned, dumping out the cold tea and starting another kettle.
Far be it from Hongjoong to deprive Seonghwa of his spark .
He marched up behind Seonghwa, pressing up against his back and wrapping his arms around his waist, forehead pressed to the back of his neck.
Seonghwa paused, glancing back, and Hongjoong lifted his eyes, grinning. “What are you doing?”
“Letting you use your hands,” he stated matter-of-factly. He tightened his grip. “I wasn’t lying- I get clingy. And since my big strong alpha is being mean, I’m just going to have to cling back here.” He hooked his chin over Seonghwa’s shoulder, only having to push up on his feet a little to reach.
Seonghwa sighed, exasperated.
“You can’t be annoyed with me,” Hongjoong pressed. “I just got through with my heat . That’s basically… a free pass to be as annoying as I want.”
Seonghwa poured more tea out. “You’ve never needed your heat as an excuse before.”
Hongjoong bit his shoulder in retaliation.
“ Ow- Hongj-”
Hongjoong chuckled, pressing his face to Seonghwa’s neck (rosemary and marigold and rose). He kissed the skin gently. “Finish cooking. You won’t even know I’m here.”
Seonghwa very much knew he was there as he shuffled to the fridge and back to the stove, Hongjoong holding on resolutely. Occasionally, as he just stood in one place, Seonghwa would reach back, stroking his hand over Hongjoong’s side before returning to his task. Or his hand would come to rest over Hongjoong’s resting on his stomach, warm hand soaking into them like a hot pack, rubbing or patting them occasionally.
And despite his desire to annoy and be an ass, Hongjoong leaned against Seonghwa’s back, nose pressed to his collar, and relaxed against the other, eyes falling closed at one point or another, just breathing in a gentle scent.
Seonghwa was so fucking warm, and now that his heat had broken, Hongjoong was sensitive to cold, so he was like laying on a heater, and Hongjoong wanted to purr like a fucking cat.
He was also so fucking comfortable.
Seonghwa shuffled to the table, setting the plate down before turning his back on the chair sitting ready for Hongjoong. “Time to let go,” he said, voice petulant, but soft.
Hongjoong whined- genuinely disappointed- but sighed, slowly releasing his hold around Seonghwa. He fell back into the chair, immediately feeling frigid after so long pressed to warmth. The eggs, toast, and tea were all steaming.
“Thanks,” Hongjoong said, rubbing at his arms as he took a sip of surprisingly good tea, considering it came from Eden. It was warm enough to make a difference.
Seonghwa sighed. “One second,” he excused, leaving the kitchen. Hongjoong ate a couple bites of egg. He still didn’t feel sick, but he knew it would likely come back later, so eating slower was probably better.
Seonghwa returned with a throw blanket from the back of the couch. Hongjoong sat up, letting him throw it around his shoulders, tucking it to keep his hands free.
“Why, Seonghwa ,” he said, faux scandalized. “This is practically domestic .”
“I just made you breakfast, but this is domestic?” Seonghwa questioned, sitting across from Hongjoong.
“I’m allowed to be choosy,” Hongjoong said firmly.
“Just eat your food before you get sick again.”
God, the two of them were probably worse than Wooyoung and Yeosang. (Not that he could ever tell Wooyoung, who would probably take it as a challenge.)
But Hongjoong ate all the food and drank the tea, which helped his throat tremendously.
But with a full stomach and the warmth of the blankets, he could feel his eyes turning heavy. And maybe it was a little more obvious than he thought because Seonghwa chuckled, standing.
“Someone’s sleepy again?”
“Asshole,” Hongjoong muttered, scrubbing at his eyes. “Not sleepy, I’m recovering .”
Given how little Hongjoong had slept during his actual heat, it was normal that he be tired.
“Recovering and making yourself sleepy .” Seonghwa chuckled, coming over and stroking Hongjoong’s hair softly.
Hongjoong leaned into the warm touch instinctively, humming. “I’m recovering, so you’ll have to carry me,” he said, eyes slipping closed as Seonghwa trailed the touch down his neck.
“My little omega mate needs his big strong alpha to carry him?”
Hongjoong took a blind punch at him and felt a nice connect to his hip bone, making Seonghwa hiss, pulling back. Hongjoong cracked his eyes open.
“Your omega mate wants his strong alpha to carry him because he is lazy and tired .”
Seonghwa laughed, and Hongjoong expected a tap to his forehead and a reprimand to stand up so they could get upstairs.
But he just heard a gentle sigh, and then Seonghwa was leaning down, one arm coming around his back and another under his knees, and Hongjoong automatically wrapped his arms around Seonghwa’s neck.
He hadn’t expected the other to give in, but now that he had, Hongjoong felt his face burn. Even if other parts of him were screaming with glee.
Seonghwa was warm .
Seonghwa carried him up the stairs as if he weighed nothing, and Hongjoong pressed his nose beneath Seonghwa’s jaw. “Thank you,” he murmured genuinely. It wasn’t just for carrying him.
Seonghwa hummed. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
Hongjoong chuckled, resting his head on Seonghwa’s shoulder, letting it take the weight off of him. “I’m not cute, I’ve got a spark ,” he teased, just because he could.
“It’s a cute spark.”
“I thought it was fiery .”
“You can be both.”
Hongjoong laughed, and tried to remember a time in his life when he felt so light .
Hongjoong had been shocked by how easily he had removed the thought of Suho from his mind. From his life.
Apart from the occasional appearance in his dreams, Hongjoong hadn’t even bothered thinking about the dead man. He acknowledge him… but didn’t dwell on him.
Not when he had all of his attention occupied with the man gently laying him down on the bed. Seonghwa knew as well as Hongjoong that he could have walked.
And damn if it didn’t make Hongjoong want to strangle and kiss that bastard.
Hongjoong let himself sink into the mattress, letting out a little sigh. He hadn’t even noticed how much he wanted to sleep until he was horizontal, Seonghwa pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead that made him want to throw up. He withdrew and Hongjoong shivered as he was deprived of warmth once more.
“Do you need an extra blanket?” Seonghwa asked quietly.
Hongjoong forced his eyes to stay open. “No…” He rolled his lips.
He wanted to ask. But didn’t. What if he had things to do? What if he didn’t want to? What-
Doubt all you want .
Hongjoong swallowed, one hand coming out and brushing against Seonghwa’s. “Will you stay for a little while?” he asked, a little too quick. “You can leave once I fall asleep or something, but you… you’re really warm.” A little too desperate. A little too-
Seonghwa’s smile was warm enough to make Hongjoong fucking melt .
He said nothing as he walked around the bed to his own side, settling in closer to the middle of the bed. Hongjoong stared at him for a moment.
God, he was going to cry .
Seonghwa lifted an eyebrow. “Well?” he questioned. “I doubt my body heat will reach you all the way over there.”
Hongjoong stared for only another moment before moving over, placing himself closer to Seonghwa, head resting near his shoulder.
He held his breath sharply when Seonghwa’s arm snaked around his waist, pulling him flush against him, his head resting on his shoulder, and the lines of their bodies melding together.
Fuck, he was warm.
Hongjoong was only shocked for a moment before relaxing automatically.
This was safe.
He shifted a little closer, until he was more comfortable, Seonghwa’s arm around his waist and resting at his hip. Hongjoong could hear Seonghwa’s heartbeat, and that was infinitely more comforting than Hongjoong could ever imagine it being.
Hongjoong wanted peace. For his pack, for himself, for Seonghwa…
And at the very least, in this one selfish moment, Hongjoong found it for himself.
He was safe here, he felt deep in his chest. In his mate’s arms, Seonghwa’s scent surrounding him like another blanket, his warmth bleeding into Hongjoong, and his lips pressing into Hongjoong’s hair.
Hongjoong didn’t even think he fell asleep. He simply existed, drifting in and out of deep peace and surface dozing.
Seonghwa remained beside him.
An unknown amount of time later, there was the distant sound of the doorbell sounding.
Hongjoong was too relaxed to even shift, but he heard Seonghwa mutter something, carefully , slowly, gently prying himself away from Hongjoong who curled into the warm spot he left behind.
Hongjoong sighed, figuring it was probably someone from the council come to demand to speak with Seonghwa. He might go with them… Might take the opportunity to take care of whatever hell Hongjoong’s war had caused-
The door to the bedroom opened and closed quietly, Seonghwa sighing quietly.
The bed dipped. Hongjoong was gently moved around until he was pressed back against Seonghwa, his head carefully moved until it rested on Seonghwa’s shoulder again, Seonghwa sighing one more time before relaxing, his fingers tracing nonsense into Hongjoong’s hip.
He kissed the top of Hongjoong’s head once more, resting his head there.
Seonghwa relaxed around him, settling back in, and Hongjoong held his breath in a desperate attempt to keep his eyes dry.
He would kill to keep this peace for them.
But, he supposed, he already had.
~~~~~~~~
Hongjoong stood before the council and could smell their disgust.
It was delightful.
Ten men and women sat around the room, eyes flashing and lips curling. Seonghwa stood beside him, stoic and silent.
Hongjoong, however, grinned like a madman.
“So, this is the group of bastards who have been taking up so much of my mate’s time,” He said brightly. “And been fighting him on every attempt to ensure a smooth transition of packs.”
“Watch your tongue, Omega,” one man snapped, standing rapidly.
“You dare speak-”
“Who even allowed this whore into-”
And Hongjoong had thought Seonghwa’s pride had been fragile.
“Seonghwa, we understand your new-found and, admittedly…” The woman’s eyes casted over Hongjoong as if he were dirt. “ Unwise attachment to your mate, but we have already discussed-”
“Is this why these meetings take so long?” Hongjoong demanded, glancing at Seonghwa, who simply shrugged. “God, you people just love hearing yourselves talk. No wonder nothing ever gets done.”
Another woman stood, eyes red and fiery. “Watch your tongue, Omega, before you find it-”
“Well, I for one, hate mincing words,” Hongjoong said firmly, expression hardening. “And the entire time I’ve been here, there’s been a lot of back and forth on issues that don’t really need it.” He tilted his head, looking down his nose at them.
One of the men snarled threateningly.
Hongjoong was unbothered. “Therefore, Seonghwa and I have had a couple of discussions about the future of this pack… and my own pack’s place in it.”
“Pack Leader, you cannot-”
“ I was not finished speaking .”
The woman drew up short, staring at Hongjoong in shock, rather than anger.
His gaze pierced like a blade.
“Seonghwa will say his peace in a moment, but for now, I am done interacting with you all. God knows how Seonghwa stood it for years.” Hongjoong rolled his eyes, but felt too much delight in his stomach. “So we’re skipping to the point: You’re all are officially removed as members of the council of this pack.”
There was a beat of silence. Every face in the room drawn in shock. Some of them stared at Hongjoong and others turned slowly to Seonghwa, as if waiting for him to reprimand his mate for such a ridiculous joke.
Hongjoong’s lips curled. “There will never be peace in this pack until those that want division are removed. So, you have exactly five minutes to gather your things and vacate the room, so that the new council members may resume your place. We have a meeting in ten minutes with them.”
Seonghwa was silent beside him, but Hongjoong could feel the amusement radiating off of him in warm bursts of lavender.
“Pack Leader!”
“You cannot be indulging-”
“Who gave this whore permission to speak-”
“This is an outrage-”
“You bitch- ”
Seonghwa took one, sharp step forward, a snarl on his lips, and Hongjoong watched with far too much enjoyment as they all fell silent, heads automatically dipping away. Hongjoong felt the sharp scent of jasmine like a knife he wielded.
Seonghwa relaxed at their silence, expression calming as he gazed at them all, a sense of satisfaction on his face.
“You heard the Head Omega,” Seonghwa said clearly. “And you’ve wasted two of those minutes.”
God , Hongjoong loved him.
There was stunned silence.
One younger seeming woman suddenly bent, grabbing a bag sitting by her feet, snatching it up and storming from the room, the horrid stench of anger souring her sea salt scent.
Hongjoong watched as each member of the council broke similarly, tearing their burning eyes away and grabbing whatever they had brought with them to the meeting, storming and sneering at Hongjoong as they passed.
Hongjoong had wanted to get rid of the council completely, but among a pack of this size, it was better to have that sort of network. So Hongjoong begrudging allowed them to keep the stupid thing, even if all current members were now kicked out.
All ten of them were gone and the two remaining stood alone.
Seonghwa turned, looking grave for a moment before the corner of his mouth kicked up slightly.
Hongjoong dragged him down, kissing him firmly, Seonghwa chuckling, grabbing him by his hips to keep him in place as he returned it easily, tongue flicking into Hongjoong’s mouth lazily, and Hongjoong pulled away with a quiet gasp, smiling against Seonghwa’s lips, foreheads pressed together.
“That was a little hot,” he said, a laugh still bubbling in his chest.
Seonghwa quirked an eyebrow. “I thought you were against the idea of submitting and listening?”
Hongjoong kissed his cheek, lips brushing over his ear. “I am, but I would love to see what you would do when I didn’t listen .”
Seonghwa’s grip tightened on his hip, not possessive but surprised. “ Christ, Hongjoong.”
He chuckled, and dear God, it felt so fucking light and unburdened.
“Can you guys keep the kinks in the bedroom, please?”
Seonghwa’s hand tightened just a little bit more at the intrusion, Hongjoong’s hand falling on top of his as Yeosang entered, Wooyoung’s arm looped through his.
Hongjoong grinned. “Well, maybe if you were on time and not early , you wouldn’t have to witness the pre-meeting meeting.”
Wooyoung simply casted them an amused glance. “Figures that the both of you would get off on the fact you’re both hardheaded.”
“It’s a very niche kink,” Hongjoong assured him, glancing back at Seonghwa.
Seonghwa simply gave him an unimpressed look as he slowly retracted his hands from Hongjoong’s hips.
“Oh, please, don’t stop on our account,” Wooyoung said, grinning as he and Yeosang found a seat. “The others will still likely be another minute. You’ve still got time.”
“Stop encouraging them,” Yeosang sighed, glaring at Hongjoong, as if cursing him for actually liking Seonghwa. He sent a more genuine glare at Seonghwa, as if cursing him for making Hongjoong like him.
Hongjoong loved him, too.
Wooyoung patted Yeosang’s arm gently. “It’s okay. Soon they’ll be out of the honeymoon phase.”
“Unlikely,” Hongjoong assured him. “You two have been in the honeymoon phase for years now.”
“We are not-”
Hongjoong sent a pointed glare at the visible sliver of Yeosang’s claiming marks. Yeosang clapped a hand over his shoulder. “Just because Wooyoung is eager-”
“Wooyoung’s got twice as many,” Seonghwa noted, looking amused as Yeosang glared murder at him.
“Yeosang’s an alpha,” Wooyoung said easily, looking pleased. “I like when he’s a little possessive.”
“Who’s possessive?”
“Are you guys really discussing kinks in the council room?”
Hongjoong turned, smiling at Jongdae and Minseok. “You’re early!” he said, stepping over and giving both of them a hug. “How was the journey? I didn’t think you’d make it in time for the first meeting.”
Jongdae gave him an exasperated look. “Why are your pups so whiny? It’s not that far- you can’t need that many potty breaks!”
“Everyone made it fine,” Minseok said, helpful rather than complaining, elbowing Jongdae. “Jongho and San were angry they couldn’t come see you immediately, but they’re waiting at your house.”
“How did they get in?” Seonghwa questioned, eyebrow cocking.
“San probably unlocked a window or something,” Hongjoong shrugged. San was weird like that. Seonghwa gave him a disbelieving look. “Did I mention he could do that?”
“Why would you need to bring that up prior to this?” Yeosang posed.
“Well, I’m glad you guys made it.” He grabbed both of their hands, eyes shining genuinely. “Thank you. For everything.”
“A deal’s a deal,” Jongdae assured him. “We kept you alive… and you fixed our pack. We owe you.”
“Is this too early?”
Eden stuck his head around the corner of the door. “Oh, I see we’re late to the be-here-early party.”
Behind him followed a younger man, who stood almost as tall as Eden. Hongjoong had only met him once, but he knew he was Eden’s apprentice-sort-of-kid-charge, Maddox. He was well versed on a lot of stuff outside of healing, and was apparently well known around the pack.
Seonghwa shook Eden’s hand, greeting Maddox, and Eden threw a glance to Hongjoong.
“Need anymore nasty teas?” he asked, eyebrow cocked as he walked to find a seat with Maddox.
“Not today,” he assured him, looking around the room.
“This is everyone,” Seonghwa said quietly.
“Aren’t there supposed to be ten?” Minseok questioned, eyeing the four empty seats.
“We have eight,” Seonghwa said firmly. “We can try and fill the last two later. For now, this is enough.”
“Can the head wolves be counted in a council?” Wooyoung asked, frowning.
“Well, we are, so…” Hongjoong shrugged. He wound his hand through Seonghwa’s, pulling him along to two available seats, sitting beside him.
Seonghwa kept their hands locked.
Hongjoong looked around. A conglomerate of people who all had one cause in common: peace.
Hongjoong could trust each and every wolf in this council- alpha, beta, or omega. Their wolves didn’t matter here, only how willing they were to fight for their goals.
“Well,” Hongjoong said, glancing at Seonghwa curiously. “Shall we begin with our first item?”
Seonghwa simply gestured for him to go on. “It’s your project. Take the lead.”
Hongjoong smiled, and he was sure everyone else in the room was vomiting into their hands, but they were just lucky Hongjoong had enough self-control not to kiss him again.
~~~~~~~
Hongjoong’s entire pack was given a place among Seonghwa’s.
Any resistance found from any pack member would be handled personally by the head wolves.
The first month was… rough.
The council was not their only resistance against Hongjoong taking an actual power among the pack. The members of Seonghwa’s pack scorned the outsiders. And even Hongjoong’s pack was beginning to tire of being spit on while they walked down the street.
Hongjoong sat on the couch, hands threaded through his hair as he bent over his knees.
Seonghwa sat silently beside him, just a simple hand resting at the small of his back.
“Was this a mistake?” Hongjoong whispered, yet another list of people causing issue among their pack. He stared at the ground, chest heavy enough to drag him down further. “Should we have just… kept them separate?”
Seonghwa was quiet for a moment before the hand on his back slowly rubbed warmth into his skin. “I think that it was never going to be an easy process,” he murmured. “But that we have every resource to make it work.”
Hongjoong believed him, even if every part of him said not to.
Seonghwa kissed his temple. “We’ll send out another announcement. I don’t think there’s much else we could do aside from that.”
Hongjoong sort of just wished they could kick out any person who tried to start trouble, but he simply nodded, leaning against Seonghwa. He closed his eyes, sighing quietly.
“Will it be worth it?” Seonghwa whispered against his skin.
Hongjoong… was scared. But he swallowed it.
“If it ends in peace and acceptance?” He nodded slowly. “I have to think it’s worth it.”
“Then we’ll make sure that’s where it ends.”
Hongjoong kissed him, eyes shut tight and hands holding on maybe a little too tight.
The second month was… better.
“No one?” Hongjoong demanded, the mug in his hand threatening to break under his grip. “Three days and no one ?”
Yeosang nodded, looking like he couldn’t believe it either. “Not for lack of trying, but there’s not been a single fight. A couple shouts, but no one’s gone beyond a few angry yells across the street.”
“People are… starting to defend us,” Minseok said, looking like he never expected it. “Other people, they’re stepping in and they’re… they’re helping .”
“It’s been over a week since someone has come in with any sort of injury from another wolf,” Eden said, shrugging. “I won’t say it’s much, but it seems like progress.”
Hongjoong almost felt like he was floating, his head spinning.
Could this really work out? Could this actually… actually…
“And our pack seems…” Wooyoung shrugged helplessly. “They’re saying they’re happy here.”
Back at home, Hongjoong kissed Seonghwa until his head spun from lack of oxygen, pulling away only to breathe in his scent and feeling it mingle in his stomach like a warm alcohol.
“You did this for us,” Hongjoong whispered against his lips, eyes shining as they bore into Seonghwa’s dark ones. “You gave this to me.”
Seonghwa pulled Hongjoong further onto his lap, shaking his head as he kissed along his neck. “You did this, Hongjoong,” he said, teeth dragging along his collar, Hongjoong’s breath stuttering. “You and your pack.”
“ Our pack,” he breathed, dragging his lips back up to his own, tongues dragging as Seonghwa’s arm locked around his waist, holding him firmly, and Hongjoong’s arms around his neck, keeping him in place.
And the third month… was good.
“I think people have actually calmed down,” Maddox reported. “Even if they’re not accepting, they seem to have accepted that they’re here to stay. And that none of their protests are working.”
“I’m sure Jongho almost biting off that alpha’s hand helped,” Wooyoung snickered. “That sent the right message not to fuck with us.”
“We’ve got dirty looks, and not many people actually look happy to see us, but…” Jongdae grinned. “We’ve got nothing to complain about.”
Seonghwa was above Hongjoong laying against the pillows, Hongjoong’s breath practically being sucked away, their legs tangling as Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa on top of him, one leg hooking over his.
There was a burning across his body that had nothing to do with biology and everything to do with Seonghwa’s hands slowly caressing the skin across his stomach.
Hongjoong’s head fell back, Seonghwa taking the opportunity to suck at his neck, making Hongjoong’s legs kick weakly. Hongjoong’s fist was curled through Seonghwa’s hair, pulling perhaps a little hard, but Seonghwa groaned against his throat as Hongjoong yanked on accident as he licked over his collar.
Hongjoong laughed breathlessly. “Maybe Wooyoung was right and we both have s- Seonghwa- some weird k-kink.”
“I don’t really care what it is,” Seonghwa breathed against his neck, the words tickling beneath his jaw. “So long as I get to keep it.”
Hongjoong would never deny him anything.
Even the rough drag of Seonghwa’s crotch over his that sent electricity sparking across Hongjoong’s skin, his hips kicking up hard at the sensation, head falling back as Seonghwa licked into his mouth, chasing the moans Hongjoong let fall freely.
“My heat starts in a couple of weeks.”
Seonghwa looked up, a little too calmly for the sudden topic, slowly lowering the piece of toast that was halfway to his mouth.
Hongjoong swirled the dregs of his orange juice, staring at the cup. He cleared his throat, but didn’t speak.
Seonghwa was silent as well. “Are you… reconsidering what we talked about before?”
Hongjoong had asked Seonghwa to help and Seonghwa had said he would help with his heat and every day around it.
(Hongjoong still wanted to cry over that, but he was sure it was just his heat approaching making him emotional.)
“No,” Hongjoong said, firmly. This, he did not want Seonghwa to think he was hesitating on. (Hongjoong was embarrassed by how he almost looked forward to the heat, knowing that Seonghwa would be there.) “No, I… I only want to warn you… and, uh… make sure you were still okay with it.” He stared at the pulp clinging to his glass.
“Hongjoong, you and I have already done basically everything but actually have sex,” Seonghwa chuckled, as if he found his worry cute or, God forbid, endearing .
“That’s not the point,” Hongjoong huffed, looking up to glare without any heat. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re not feeling obligated because you agreed to this four months ago .”
Seonghwa’s smile was almost a smirk, but a little too genuine. “Hongjoong, it has nothing to do with obligation and everything to do with desire.” Seonghwa stood, making the short trip around the edge of the table.
Hongjoong’s eyes followed him, frowning, as Seonghwa stopped before him, holding his hands out. Hongjoong frowned deeper, but took them without complaint. Seonghwa pulled him up from the chair until they were standing chest to chest with Seonghwa still encasing his hands in his own.
Seonghwa’s eyes were like magnets, not letting Hongjoong look away as they caressed his face in gently gazes.
“Hongjoong, as long as you want it, I will be honored to help you with your heat in whatever way you want or need. It’s not a chore for me to do that, Hongjoong. It would be my pleasure .”
Hongjoong breathed out a harsh sigh, letting his head drop down to rest on Seonghwa’s shoulder as he shook it. “You’re going to kill me, Seonghwa. But I swear, I’ll kill you first if you make me cry again.”
Seonghwa chuckled, kissing the side of his neck. “Mates are for life. I think that would be the only way for you to get rid of me.”
Hongjoong’s throat closed up.
For life.
“Yeah,” he said, voice a little thick.
Seonghwa nosed along his neck quietly. “My only question is of whether or not you want the first time to be during your heat.”
Hongjoong stiffened a little, pulling back to look Seonghwa in the eyes. His expression was gentle, but serious, in observance of the delicateness of the situation. “W-What does that mean?” Hongjoong questioned, stomach rolling over itself as something simmered in his veins.
Seonghwa brushed a piece of Hongjoong’s hair away gently. “The first time we have sex,” Seonghwa explained quietly, as if there was someone else around who might overhear. “Do you want the first time to be during your heat? Or is it something you want to have before?”
Hongjoong couldn’t breathe. He stared at Seonghwa dumbly as his brain frantically tried to come up with words.
“You…” It was barely a whisper. “You want… to do it… before my heat? Outside of it?”
Seonghwa’s expression softened somehow, hand tracing over Hongjoong’s face as he stared in shock. “Hongjoong,” he said quietly, only for the two of them. “I’m sorry, but you’re an idiot if you think I only time I would want to be with you would be during your heat,” he murmured.
Hongjoong felt like someone had just taken a firm grip around his heart and was slowly squeezing it.
“If that’s what you’d prefer, of course, I’ll gladly provide,” he assured him. “But in terms of my own willingness… I’m ready when you are,” he whispered, eyes somehow far away and yet staring right at Hongjoong. “Whenever and however you want it, Hongjoong. I told you I would provide for you.”
And, of course, Hongjoong hadn’t thought that Seonghwa would only want to have sex with him during his heats, but it… it seemed like the only time the two of them would have a reason to.
Why the hell did they need a reason?
It was the only time they had discussed yet.
Hongjoong’s throat crackled when he tried to swallow. “I…”
Hongjoong had really only thought about it… thought about Seonghwa through the film of his heat. He hadn’t really ever considered it… outside of that.
Seonghwa didn’t hurry his answer, which was good because all Hongjoong had going through his mind was white noise.
He didn’t know why he was acting surprised. He and Seonghwa hadn’t been shy around each other in months, but this was still… a lot. A lot that they hadn’t done and hadn’t discussed or thought about, really.
But, even through the buzz in his mind, Hongjoong’s known the answer the whole fucking time.
“I love you.”
It was barely loud enough to pass through the centimeters between them, but Hongjoong’s heart promptly exploded when they rushed passed his lips.
Seonghwa’s expression didn’t change- only a slight glow breaking through his dark eyes that pinned Hongjoong in place. He leaned down the short distance, warm lips pressing to Hongjoong’s firmly but gently, only resting there for a soft moment where Hongjoong’s heart promptly exploded again.
Seonghwa only pulled back enough to whisper against his lips. “I love you, Hongjoong,” he breathed, eyes open and watching. “And I want to keep loving you for as long as you’ll let me.”
Hongjoong’s throat closed up as pressure built behind his eyes. “You keep acting as if I’m going to get tired of you one day.” His hand dragged up to Seonghwa’s hand, finding its home in the scruff at the back of his skull. “But you already said the word ‘forever’,” he whispered, chest aching. “And that means you’re not getting rid of me until forever is over.”
Hongjoong closed the short distance, eyes shutting tightly as he dragged Seonghwa down.
It wasn’t frantic. Not wild.
It was quick, but it was smooth and aching and burning , and Hongjoong was sure that he was going to pass out if Seonghwa didn’t stop licking into his mouth like that.
Seonghwa’s hands found the swell of his ass, and suddenly Hongjoong was wrapping his legs around his waist as Seonghwa backed them up until Hongjoong’s back pressed against the wall, pinning him there.
Hongjoong tightened his legs, using strength to lift himself up higher, changing the angle of the kiss, both hands tugging at Seonghwa’s hair.
Seonghwa never expected Hongjoong to submit.
Hongjoong never expected Seonghwa to try and make him.
But Hongjoong loved the back and forth they played. The fast and then slow, the fierce and then soft, the pushing and then taking.
Hongjoong relaxed against the wall, letting Seonghwa move him how he pleased, letting him paint the inside of his mouth and letting his hands travel where they pleased- under his shirt and over skin, dragging and feeling and warm.
Hongjoong trusted Seonghwa. Trusted that he was safe with Seonghwa, and from the moment that trust formed, Seonghwa had never given him a reason to question it.
Not a single one of his doubts had ever seen the light of day.
Seonghwa moved to his neck, tongue laving over muscle and skin, teeth scraping lightly-
Hongjoong felt a lightning strike travel up his spine, every muscle in his body tensing as he dug nails into Seonghwa’s back.
Seonghwa paused at the reaction, voice rough but firm. “Hongjoong?”
Hongjoong’s heart was going to beat out of his chest as he swallowed, eyes squeezing shut as he tried to even out his breathing.
Seonghwa pulled away, looking him in the face, a gentle hand brushing his hair away. “Hongjoong? Are you-”
Hongjoong opened his eyes, staring at Seonghwa’s gentle concern, eyes soft and caressing in a way that Hongjoong had never…
Had never had directed at him, before Seonghwa.
Hongjoong’s nails dug into his back, his lungs tightening until breathing was no longer an option. He swallowed thickly, eyes shining.
“What would you say,” he breathed, voice shot and weak, “if I asked you to claim me?”
Seonghwa’s eyes widened almost comically, lips parting but nothing coming out as he stared. He searched Hongjoong’s face, and Hongjoong simply remained pinned between Seonghwa and the wall, his hands braced under his thighs to keep him up.
Seonghwa’s hands tightened on Hongjoong’s legs, though his expression didn’t change. Hongjoong expected the usual banter back, but Seonghwa only swallowed. “Now?” he questioned, voice hoarse.
Hongjoong nodded once, excitement and fear and anxiety and heat rushing through his veins. “If you want…”
Seonghwa looked like he was about to be ill. “Are you… sure?”
“If you want,” he repeated firmly. “I already told you I loved you, dumbass.” The expletive slipped out fondly, and Hongjoong’s stomach churned, heat overrunning anxiety.
Seonghwa still stared at Hongjoong as if he weren’t quite real. His hands shook on Hongjoong’s legs. His tongue darted out, wetting his lips, and his throat bobbed as he swallowed.
Hongjoong waited.
Seonghwa took another thirty seconds before he blinked, eyes not looking quite so panicked. “Yes,” he breathed, still locked onto Hongjoong. “Yes, I want to claim you, Hongjoong.”
Hongjoong’s stomach froze over and melted within a second, dropping low and leaping to his throat as his hands flexed against Seonghwa’s back. He let out a breathless laugh that was more out of relief than anything, his hands shaking where they curled against Seonghwa.
“Okay,” he whispered, everything inside of him flickering.
He tilted his head slowly to the right, exposing his neck.
Seonghwa looked like he wasn’t breathing, but he leaned forward, pressing his face to the spot at the curve of his neck and shoulder.
Hongjoong shivered, eyes falling closed. He was shaking, everything from adrenaline to glee rushing in his blood.
He wanted to be Seonghwa’s.
He wanted that to be real. Forever.
Seonghwa’s lips brushed over the curve, and Hongjoong tensed, not out of fear but out of a sense of overstimulation. The skin tingled, as if it knew what was happening.
“Will you claim me?” Seonghwa breathed against his skin.
All of Hongjoong’s breath left him at once, his head falling forward to hit Seonghwa’s shoulder.
He felt like his nerves were on fire.
“ Yes ,” he breathed without even needing to think. “Yes, Seonghwa, I want to claim you. I want us to both be each other’s-”
Hongjoong wasn’t surprised at the notion, but there was a difference between expecting it and actually hearing that fall out of Seonghwa’s mouth.
Seonghwa continued to nose at his neck gently, unhurried, and Hongjoong shivered.
Yes.
He had peace for his pack.
And peace for them.
Hongjoong swallowed, the scent of Seonghwa changing to a tangy spice against Hongjoong’s nose, like sharp summer lilacs and honeysuckles.
That was all he needed.
Seonghwa’s teeth grazed the spot, dragging over it, his tongue soothing the area, and Hongjoong clung tighter. “ Seonghwa .” He wasn’t sure if he wanted him to get it over with or drag it out further, but he felt like he was shaking apart at the seams, the only thing holding him together being Seonghwa’s body pressed against him, firm and sturdy.
“I love you,” Seonghwa breathed against the skin, voice surprisingly hoarse.
Hongjoong swallowed, trying to get his tongue to work as he felt small spots of wet hit his neck, Seonghwa taking a small, quiet breath that shook the barest amount. Hongjoong’s own eyes burned as he shut them, breathing out weakly.
He never imagined he could ever be here.
“I love y- Ah !”
Seonghwa’s teeth broke through skin suddenly, and Hongjoong jerked wildly, Seonghwa’s body and limbs the only thing keeping him from falling as pain and heat and pleasure raced down his spine like lightning, crackling across each nerve that stretched to every part of him-
Hongjoong felt like he was drowning in flower petals, clogging his throat and dimming his sense until the only thing he heard and felt and smelled and tasted was Seonghwa . His grip was almost painful on Hongjoong, but Hongjoong was grateful as he thrashed at the sensation that was something he had never come closer to experiencing before.
His chest heaved, even though it felt like he wasn’t getting any oxygen, his head spinning.
“ Claim me, Hongjoong ,” Seonghwa’s voice shook in his ear, and Hongjoong had to orient himself, entire body thrumming like a live wire, the ache in his neck being soothed over by Seonghwa’s tongue.
Hongjoong didn’t even have to move to turn his face into Seonghwa’s neck that was bared to him.
Bared for him .
The unblemished skin looked like a blank canvas, and Hongjoong understood Seonghwa’s urge to draw it out, but he was too impatient, too ready for it to be final-
Hongjoong placed his mouth over the spot at the curve of his neck, not biting yet, and Seonghwa actually whined quietly, head shifting further to give more room.
It sent a rush through Hongjoong.
Both of them. Only each other’s.
Hongjoong gave so much to Seonghwa.
But he gave so much of it back. Loved so many more parts of Hongjoong that he was sure no one would ever be able to stand, and Seonghwa thrived off of his spark, as much as Hongjoong thrived off of Seonghwa’s fight.
Seonghwa loved him as he was and so much more.
Hongjoong loved him and wanted to give him everything .
Even himself.
Hongjoong bit down, breaking through the skin. Seonghwa cried out weakly, going almost-limp against Hongjoong- the only thing keeping him up being his legs around Seonghwa and the weight of Seonghwa leaning against him as his arms became useless even where they held him, no strength in them.
It tasted like flower stems, not blood, and Hongjoong felt like his body was singing.
Every part of him, from base instinct to the highest thought, wanted this.
With an effort, he removed his teeth, laving over the bite mark soothingly with his tongue, feeling almost like he was drunk, but also hyper-aware of everything.
Seonghwa’s fingertips pressing to his thigh, Seonghwa’s chest rising and falling rapidly, Seonghwa’s strained and heavy breaths ringing in his ears, Seonghwa’s heart beating against his-
Their claim marks aching in unison.
Hongjoong felt the urge to laugh. It expanded in his chest until it felt like it was going to burst.
And then he cried. Silent tears that streaked down his cheeks as he chuckled into Seonghwa’s neck, feeling that same dampness against his neck as Seonghwa leaned into him.
What the hell had happened to the two of them?
How had they bonded for politics, fought for each other, and stuck together through everything? How did it all end with Hongjoong almost sobbing into Seonghwa’s neck while feeling his mate respond the same against his own skin?
How did it all end with Hongjoong feeling as if the world was falling apart around them, but nothing could touch them?
“I love you,” he whispered into Seonghwa’s neck, kissing the claiming mark gently. For everything he had done and been and given Hongjoong… He loved him.
Seonghwa shivered, swallowing. “And you talked about me killing you… ”
Hongjoong laughed, using what little strength he had in his limbs to straightened up a little. Seonghwa removed himself from his neck, and Hongjoong stared, tears still dripping. He cupped Seonghwa’s cheek with both of his hands, rubbing the moisture away as he laughed weakly.
This was the first time he had ever seen Seonghwa cry. It twisted his chest in the best way possible.
Hongjoong’s kissed him gently, barely there, and his neck ached like a constant reminder.
He never wanted to forget.
Never wanted to stop feeling Seonghwa’s skin against his, the scars on his neck that Seonghwa had so carefully places. Never wanted to stop being able to prove himself wrong-
Never wanted to stop giving and giving to Seonghwa-
Knowing that Seonghwa would give and give so much back to him.
“I love you,” Seonghwa whispered, kissing his jaw like a punctuation mark.
Hongjoong rested his head against Seonghwa’s, both of them simply breathing in the other.
“You promised forever,” Hongjoong whispered.
Seonghwa nodded slowly. “I’m prepared for that.”
Hongjoong was too.
~~~~~~~~
“Holy shit!”
Hongjoong sighed, already expecting the outburst.
He did not so much expect the body suddenly against his, Wooyoung hands pulling his shirt away and staring at the mark on his neck.
“Holy shit!” he repeated, turning back to stare at Yeosang. “Yeosang! Holy shit!”
“I see that, Wooyoung,” Yeosang said, not looking pleased, but also not seeming angry. He took Wooyoung by the hand, pulling him away. “Why don’t you go look at Seonghwa’s?”
Hongjoong saw Seonghwa send Yeosang a glare as Wooyoung fearlessly walked up and demanded that the alpha bend over.
Yeosang’s eyes bore into Hongjoong, looking so startlingly like the times he had to stop him before. Hongjoong met his eyes, not at all perturbed.
Yeosang waited several more seconds before sighing gently. “You’re sure about this?” he questioned.
Hongjoong felt the corners of his mouth lift. “As sure as you and Wooyoung are.”
Yeosang’s frown deepened. “That’s a very particular analogy for something that’s been happening a fraction of the time, hyung.”
Hongjoong reached out, ruffling Yeosang’s hair- something he hadn’t done since the alpha joined his pack. Yeosang simply stared on, unbothered. “As sure as you were when you followed Wooyoung, how about that?”
“I knew Wooyoung for years.”
“And Seonghwa saved my life,” Hongjoong said firmly. “Same as you. Maybe if you hadn’t settled down so early, you could have had a piece of this.” Hongjoong ran a hand down his front, completely expecting to slap Yeosang gave him for it, grinning.
Yeosang’s eyes were lighter.
He may not like it, but he could be happy for Hongjoong until time tested them enough.
“Did you cry?” Yeosang asked, lips twitching.
Hongjoong’s face flushed. “I did not-”
“Did Seonghwa?” Yeosang asked, leaning in. “Wooyoung sobbed for hours. I thought I’d actually hurt him.”
“Well, Yeosang was all emotional and shit for days!” Wooyoung snapped from where Seonghwa was firmly removing his hand from his shirt.
“That’s not the point,” Yeosang called, turning back to Hongjoong who covered his face. “So, you both cried. Did you cuddle afterwards?” Yeosang’s eyebrows kicked up. “Or… something else?”
Hongjoong glared, forcing himself to speak. “Yeosang, that isn’t any of your-”
His eyes blew wide. “Holy shit, you fucked ,” he hissed, careful to keep his voice from Wooyoung’s hearing. “Hyung, you seriously-”
Hongjoong slapped a hand over his mouth, stomach burning. “ That is not your concern. I don’t ask about you and Wooyoung mating cycles.”
~~~~~~~~
Seonghwa’s mouth roamed over Hongjoong’s stomach, mindless of whatever scars were there.
Hongjoong had never been self-conscious over those parts of himself that he had fought for, but he hadn’t expected Seonghwa to be quite so eager to get at them.
His stomach flexed as Hongjoong tried to keep still, his shirt long gone and Seonghwa mapping his way across Hongjoong’s torso while Hongjoong tried to keep breathing.
He made his way up to his chest, murmuring little nothings into his skin, until he came to the bite mark on Hongjoong’s bicep. Seonghwa stared at it for a moment, until Hongjoong glanced at him.
“Who did this?” Seonghwa asked, nosing along the scar.
Hongjoong still felt like he was about to shake apart. “Suho,” he breathed, the word tasting dirty on his tongue. “When I escaped.”
Seonghwa made a noise in the back of his throat, and then his mouth was covering the scar for a moment.
Hongjoong’s muscles seized.
“May I?” Seonghwa whispered, lips brushing the white scars.
Hongjoong nodded quickly. “Yeah,” he breathed, and then Seonghwa was erasing the mark with his own.
~~~~~~~~
“Yeosang, this doesn’t mean you can chop his dick off.”
“It just means that now I really want to.”
“He’s treating me well,” Hongjoong said, throwing his hands up. “I don’t know what else you want from him- he’s literally promised me everything, and he hasn’t fallen through yet.”
Yeosang simply smiled, grim and sly. “Hongjoong, I would be the worst second in command in history if I ever actually approved of whoever you chose.” He glanced over his shoulder to Seonghwa who was speaking sternly to Wooyoung about something. “The fact that his limbs are still attached is the closest I can ever get.”
Hongjoong rolled his eyes, even if he smiled. “You’re impossible.”
“Jongho is another story,” Yeosang assured him. “Let him see that bite mark, and you might just lose your new favorite part of your mate.”
~~~~~~~~
“ Hongjoong ,” Seonghwa breathed, lips running over the claiming mark.
“You’ve al-already said that,” Hongjoong breathed, legs wrapping around and drawing Seonghwa in closer, their crotches brushing together and making both of them breathe out.
Seonghwa’s hips pressed down against Hongjoong’s, dragging and sending sparks up his spine as he squirmed beneath him.
“S-Seonghwa,” Hongjoong gasped. “W-Wait, I want to-”
He shoved one of Seonghwa’s shoulders, forcing him over until Hongjoong straddled him from above, Seonghwa’s eyes blown wide and dark.
Hongjoong grinned, heart beating out of his chest. “Maybe we do have a kink,” he muttered, grinding back on Seonghwa who caught his hips tightly, head falling back-
This is what they could do to each other.
“I don’t have a kink,” Seonghwa assured him, helping Hongjoong move. “I’m just finding myself far too addicted to you.”
Hongjoong gripped Seonghwa’s sides tightly to ground himself, lips pressed to the mark he had placed on Seonghwa.
~~~~~~~
“Can’t you at least be happy for me?” Hongjoong huffed, crossing his arms.
Yeosang smiled. And suddenly, the alpha was hugging him tightly, practically crushing Hongjoong’s ribs. “I am happy for you,” he said softly. Hongjoong’s throat closed up just a little at the genuine softness. “But your mate can never know that, because then he’ll think I’ll be soft on him.” Yeosang sighed quietly. “But you deserve it. Everything he’s giving you.”
Hongjoong hugged him back, willing away the pressure in his eyes. “Thanks.”
“But answer me this,” Yeosang murmured. “Is Seonghwa the one who asked to have sex before your heat?”
Hongjoong pinched his side at the mention of it, but he nodded. “I hadn’t even thought about it.”
Yeosang hummed, staring over Hongjoong’s shoulder at Seonghwa. “Maybe he is worth something,” he muttered, seeming disappointed in it.
“Aw, group hug!”
Suddenly, Wooyoung was slamming into the side of them, wrapping his arms around both. “Our hyung is finally getting some!”
Hongjoong elbowed him, as Wooyoung looked over their shoulders. “Seonghwa!” he ordered. “Get your ass over here!”
Hongjoong heard the exasperated sigh, but knew he would comply. Another set of arms was around them (mostly aiming for holding Hongjoong), and the familiar form of his mate pressed against his back.
Hongjoong wanted to complain, but all he really wanted to do was stay like this for a moment.
Seonghwa’s lips pressed to the back of his neck subtly as Wooyoung cheered at Yeosang.
Hongjoong allowed his eyes to close a moment, simply taking in the atmosphere.
He had safety for his pack.
Peace for himself.
And peace for Seonghwa.
All his needs had finally been met.
He couldn’t think of a single thing more that he wanted.
And when Seonghwa ran a silent hand through his hair, Hongjoong didn’t even think about it when he leaned into the touch warmly.
It was all just instinct.
~~~~~~~
Seonghwa laid in bed, eyes half-closed as Hongjoong nuzzled against the curve of his neck lazily, half-asleep but still breathing Seonghwa in rhythmically.
Seonghwa trailed his fingertips up and down Hongjoong’s spine, feeling the smooth skin and soft ridges of scars under the pads of his fingers.
Hongjoong’s bare legs knocked gently against his as he shifted, half of his body on top of Seonghwa’s, his heartbeat slow and soothing.
“Feeling any better?” Seonghwa murmured, burying his nose in Hongjoong’s hair.
It had become harder and harder to smell the woodsmoke without catching a whiff of floral tones with it. Seonghwa couldn’t say he wasn’t pleased by that fact.
Hongjoong hummed quietly, kissing the mark at the curve of Seonghwa’s neck, sending a weak little burst of electricity down his spine. “Yeah,” he whispered, still a little out of it, even with the fever breaking. Hongjoong laughed tiredly. “I didn’t ever think I’d enjoy a heat,” he chuckled, nosing along Seonghwa’s neck and trailing down his chest.
Seonghwa huffed, massaging the small of his back gently, his chest full to bursting as Hongjoong hummed, pleased, and buried his face in Seonghwa’s chest, arching into the touch.
Seonghwa didn’t think he would ever get tired of Hongjoong seeking his touch.
Or providing it.
Seonghwa kissed the top of his head, letting his lips rest there. “Do you want a bath?” he questioned gently.
Hongjoong shifted his head to speak. “I don’t want to move,” he muttered, resting heavily against Seonghwa. “You’d have to carry me.”
Fireworks went off in Seonghwa’s chest as he pinched Hongjoong’s side gently. Hongjoong muffled a yelp in his chest and promptly bit the skin beneath his mouth, making Seonghwa jump-
Hongjoong laughed, tired but… but happy.
“If I carry you, will you want a bath?”
Hongjoong glanced up, eyes curious and soft. “And here I thought my heats made me emotional.”
Seonghwa threatened him with fingers that didn’t quite pinch and Hongjoong sighed, falling back against him. “But you’ll have to leave to start the bath, and that’s not good either.”
Truthfully, he didn’t want to leave either.
“You’re not too hot?” Seonghwa asked.
Hongjoong shook his head slowly. “No, ‘m good.”
Well, if neither of them wanted to move, Seonghwa wasn’t going to make them.
“Fine,” he said, pulling Hongjoong flush against him again. Hongjoong made a noise that started as startled but ended in pleased as he buried his face in Seonghwa’s neck once more, kissing the skin lazily, spent and tired.
Seonghwa could see the scar he had placed on Hongjoong’s neck only a couple of weeks ago, accented by a new set laid over it- not quite as deep, but still visible.
Seonghwa could now understand Yeosang and Wooyoung’s multitude.
“I love you,” Hongjoong whispered against his jaw. “For everything.”
Seonghwa closed his eyes for a moment, swallowed around the lump in his throat that was still so easy to get.
When Hongjoong said he loved him first… Seonghwa felt like he had been claimed already. The mark was a visible reminder, but Seonghwa preferred hearing Hongjoong whisper it over and over against his skin until Seonghwa grabbed him and kissed him, whispering the words between their lips.
“Are you gonna say it back, asshole?” Hongjoong snorted, teeth scraping petulantly over his neck, and Seonghwa simply turned, taking Hongjoong’s chin and lifting it, seeing tired eyes clear up as Seonghwa kissed him slowly.
Hongjoong’s hand dragged across his chest, curling around his shoulder to hold on.
This was more intoxicating than any heat intimacy could ever be.
“I love you,” he breathed into Hongjoong’s mouth, the hand on his shoulder tightening until Hongjoong pressed in harder, seeking deeper.
And despite how tired he apparently was, Hongjoong was suddenly shifting until he straddled Seonghwa, bent over to never break the kiss as Seonghwa’s hands landed on his hips.
Hongjoong pulled away, grinning lazily, eyes sparking and burning. “I love you,” He repeated, breathless.
It was almost a game. To see who could say it more.
Seonghwa wasn’t entirely confident he could win.
But he had an alpha’s pride, and that meant he hated to lose.
However, when Hongjoong whispered it along his skin, it wasn’t competitiveness that brought the words to his own tongue.
It was instinct.
Notes:
It was a wild ride, but I’m glad I did it!
Thank you again for all the comments and support!
I’ll see you guys in my next work!
Have an amazing day!
-SS
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