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Nino has always told Sho that he overthinks and more often than not, too much. Sho doesn’t think it’s harmful to think about consequences or the results of actions he’s taken for even the most mundane of things.
“You’re going to start becoming an ossan if you keep thinking about things like that”, Nino warns Sho as he makes them both comfortable in the bed they’re sharing, their foreheads pressed together and their bare skin an anchor for each other.
“Can’t help but think about where we would be now had we both decided to leave Arashi back then”, Sho mumbles.
Nino hums and rubs their noses together; he brings a hand up to caress Sho’s chubby cheeks. “Things have already happened, it’s all speculation and extrapolation”.
Sho blinks and lets out a sigh. “Our, Arashi’s 20th anniversary is at the door step, it’s amazing that we are all here, from our hard work”.
Nino hums in agreement. “We’re all working hard”, Nino lets out a short laugh, “I’m also getting better at my games and magic too”.
Rolling his eyes, Sho returns the short laugh. “This time, next year…”
“The 2020 Tokyo Olympics will be over”, Nino adds onto Sho’s words, “it’ll be Arashi’s 21st anniversary, and ours”.
Sho places a hand on Nino’s chest and the other’s warmth reaches his heart. “Are you scared?” Sho asks.
Nino’s lips tweak up and he answers seriously, “I think we all are, but it’s just a hiatus. We’re all still a team, even if not in the public’s eyes, Sho-chan, you know this well”, Nino reminds, but he doesn’t mind reminding the other.
“Yes”, Sho knows. “Not everything will change”.
“But many will”, Nino doesn’t hesitate to bring them both back to reality.
“We’re both going to be riddled with wrinkles, nothing more than an ossan”, Sho huffs.
“That’s perfect”, Nino smiles, “I wouldn’t want it any other way”, Nino moves his hand to the back of Sho’s neck and slowly brings them together so that their foreheads disconnect and their lips touch.
The next morning, Sho wakes up feeling content. He works around the kitchen with Nino, breakfast is simple and the sound of morning news playing on the TV is comforting. They rub their cheeks together as a greeting. Nino makes fun of Sho’s scrambled eggs, like normal. Nothing is out of the ordinary. It’s just another day to them both. And Sho knows this. He is glad that the conversation they had in bed stays in bed and not as something that looms over them for the rest of the day or the rest of the week. Sho knows he shouldn’t let it bother him. It still does, with the way he likes to think about things overly thoroughly. And the causes oh his distress and nightmares will surface only to be quashed by Nino time and time again.
“I’m so glad you’re with me”, Sho tells Nino as they have breakfast together.
“Of course”, Nino looks up and gives the other a fond smile.
Originally, they had talked about perhaps celebrating Arashi’s 20th anniversary in Hawaii. Things happened and it became something that was booked but not brought up again. There was an uneasy tension within them all after Johnny-san’s death. The sombreness lingered in the group and throughout all the Johnny’s, past and present.
They all celebrated his life and verbalised their gratitude and respect for someone that had such a big impact and presence in their life.
Press conferences were never something they found stress-free. Even now, it’s filled with worries and a bubbling sense of anxiety just like LIVE tv shows. But each word they utter – say, is filled with scrutiny and potential consequences. Their expressions have to be schooled to perfection.
All Sho wanted to do was hide. The whole world doesn’t need to see him mourn over someone who means so much to him.
And Sho wasn’t sure whether he wanted to travel and celebrate Arashi’s 20th anniversary with such a heavy news weighing in his heart. No, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that Sho was sure they shouldn’t be travelling so early after Johnny-san’s death for a celebration.
It’s not like this trip is work-related. At least, that’s Sho’s argument.
Johnny-san isn’t immediate family. He’s not blood-related family, but to Sho, he’s a mentor and someone Sho does consider as part of his family. Just like how Arashi is also family.
The topic is not raised bluntly within the members. But it doesn’t always need to be spoken. He feels like they understand each other and the significance of all of this without needing to dwell deeper into the root of it all, though, it would be comforting to have it all laid out on the table.
Sho will take that the fact that none of them bring up the trip again as it not happening.
It doesn’t get totally cancelled, and that somehow feels satisfactory for him.
Nino doesn’t press Sho, and neither does Sho. All Sho needs to do is listen to the way Nino sighs over his games to know whether it’s the game that’s distracting him or something else.
It’s something else.
Sho sits next to Nino on the couch and reads his book. He will wait for Nino to bring up whatever it is that’s bothering him, and only if he wishes to.
Nino doesn’t bring it up.
Sho doesn’t need the other to either. He sees their passport sitting in the drawer, and it’s enough for Sho to know that Nino has decided as well.
They both find it more appropriate to stay in Tokyo.
And stay they plan.
Sho sighs as he walks out of his bath, roughly drying his slightly damp hair.
“Will you wait on the bed for me, Sho-chan?” Nino asks as he places his Nintendo Switch on their bedside table and walks into the bathroom, but not without patting Sho’s perky ass first.
Sho has the decency to blush but does as he’s asked to anyway. Not without pampering his skin with moisturiser first. But even as he rubs the moisturiser in, he knows that he’ll have to wash it off after and he’ll have to slap on another layer before bed. But it just feels so dry without the layer of moisturiser.
Nino’s bath is neither short nor long. Sho has finished with his moisturiser and is lying in bed comfortably browsing on his phone until Nino finishes with his own bath.
“Nino”, Sho places his phone aside and perks up.
“Sho-chan”, Nino climbs onto their bed and towards the other, pulling at the other and helping Sho adjust on the bed.
“Dry your hair properly”, Sho chastises, “he grabs the towel and rubs it against Nino’s hair, with just the right amount of force.
“It’s fine”, Nino says as he pulls the towel away and dumps it next to their bed without another word. Droplets of water drip onto Sho’s face and it makes Nino chuckle.
Sho wraps his arms around Nino’s neck and pulls the other down for a kiss. His gasp when their chests touched is swallowed by Nino. Sho jolts a little when Nino’s warm fingers dance across his chest and flick his nipple.
Their lips disconnect and connect over and over. Sho moves his hands to Nino’s hips to pull down his partner’s briefs so that he can place his hands on Nino’s smooth globes.
“Sho-chan”, Nino whispers against Sho’s lips.
Sho grunts in reply.
Nino’s fingers stop playing with Sho’s nipples and also pull down Sho’s briefs. His hands don’t go to squeeze Sho’s buttocks, instead one goes to caress Sho’s waist before he supports his weight against the mattress with that arm and the other hand goes to stroke Sho’s cock.
“Nino”, Sho breathes out shakily.
“Mine too”, Nino pushes his hips into Sho and grinds.
“Ye-yeah”, Sho agrees and goes to wrap one of his hands around Nino’s cock. He squeezes lightly and pumps it in time with Nino’s hand against his own.
“Sho-chan”, Nino groans.
Sho lets out a stifled huff, “Nino, are you going to prepare me?”
Nino hums happily, “Of course”, Nino removes himself from Sho to grab the lube and condom from their bedside drawer, “I thought Sho-chan would’ve taken these out already in preparation?”
Shaking his head fondly, Sho stretches a little and parts his leg in preparation.
Picking up on this, Nino laughs and gently flicks Sho’s inner thigh.
It’s a familiar feeling when Nino prepares Sho. It was on the same page as routine. Just like how they practice their singing, their dancing and rehearse their speeches, sex came with practice. It was most definitely not an understatement to say that they can pleasure each other with practiced ease.
Gone were the days of uncontrolled hormones and short refractory periods. But come are the days of familiarity with time and increased knowledge.
Sho pulls the condom over Nino’s erection and lathers it in lube before Nino steadies himself and pushes into Sho who only shows a minor sign of discomfort through his wince.
Nino throbs within Sho and it drives Sho crazy with desire.
The rhythm comes to them easily. Nino presses his lips against Sho’s skin, careful to not leave marks behind. He takes Sho’s hands from his neck and laces their fingers together instead, wanting to hold onto the other’s hand as they go through such an intimate time together. Time and time again.
Sho is still no more flexible than he was five, ten, fifteen, twenty years ago.
Nino is just as passionate as he was five, ten, fifteen, twenty years ago.
Neither of them last long. They both moan and hold onto each other shuddering as they reach their own pleasure.
The kisses they share as their heart beats slow down back to normal again are soft and they could be the ones that Sho enjoys the most.
Their thighs press against each other and their hands hold onto each other as they remember Johnny-san.
Nino wipes Sho’s tears. “It’s okay”.
Sho can’t help but smile a little. He blinks through his tears and notices that Nino himself has tears running down his cheeks. Sho swallows thickly and reaches up to wipe off Nino’s tears like what Nino is doing for him.
“Yes, it’ll be okay”.
On the day they were supposed to fly off to Hawaii in celebration of Arashi’s 20th anniversary, both their passports sit in their drawer. The messages in the group chat are succinct and focus on what they should all do together in Tokyo on September 15th.
Sho doubts that it would be anything different to them celebrating Arashi’s other anniversaries in the past.
At one of Matsujun’s regular restaurants, they book out a room and celebrate Arashi’s 20th anniversary with a dinner, karaoke and so many rounds of drinks, Sho isn’t even sure who’s shouting anymore. Not Nino for sure.
“Arashi’s hatachi birthday~” was the most common phrase that night.
They all blow out candles on a cake and applaud.
It was as though their fans were all with them.
It’s a significant day for them all. Sho looks around the room and knows that the only one who probably believed that Arashi would even make it to its 20th is Johnny-san and Matsujun. Aiba too, later on.
Ohno, Nino and Sho made up the trio who believed their future lied elsewhere. Some days, Sho finds himself reminiscing over those thoughts from a long time ago. And now, he can’t really see himself outside of the entertainment circle.
It has become so much of who he is.
Some days, it feels like a lucid dream. Sho constantly reminds himself, that it’s not. Nino is beside him with his smirk and Sho desperately wants for it to be his reality.
And it is.
They reminisce over old times. They celebrate everything they achieved thus far. They talk about how they could be in Hawaii right at this moment, in their private resort, celebrating as though it were their last, but it won’t be their last. And they’re not in Hawaii.
At odd times of the night, Sho finds himself thinking it rather uncomfortable to be celebrating Arashi so close to Johnny-san’s death, but he lets himself get caught up in the waves of emotions and the sway of the night.
Sho looks over to Nino who passes him the mic with a smirk.
“Your turn, Sho-chan”, Nino says simply. And Sho hears him loud and clear as though all the noise in the room has drowned out.
Sho swallows thickly.
Their eyes meet and Sho seemingly gains all the confidence in the world as he reaches out towards Nino and takes the mic from Nino. Their fingers brush against each other and the warmth feels contagious.
He’s alive.
And Arashi will continue, simmering or thriving.
Arashi is not the beginning of all beginnings for them. It is also not the ending to their end.