You Are Going To Hate This

by trashcangimmick

Summary:

Really, it’s a dumb idea downloading Grindr in a place like Hawkins.

Chapter 1: Puppy Knuckles

Really, it’s a dumb idea downloading Grindr in a place like Hawkins. 

 

It’s not like Will puts his face or anything. He’s not a total moron. He’s just. Y’know. Lonely. He figures there aren’t gonna be many profiles.

 

Will’s picture is a tasteful body shot that shows off his skinny torso. It stops before his hips and cuts off at the neck. It shows that he’s pale, and thin, without a whole lot of muscle tone. His profile says he’s 5’ 8” and 130 pounds. He doesn’t figure anyone will read the description. He writes one anyway. 

 

talk to me about art, your favorite video games, or why you’re uncomfortable in your own skin. 

 

It’s probably more appropriate for like. OKC or something. But Will’s not getting on there and listing himself as gay. Everyone knows. But plenty of his classmates have profiles and he doesn’t need them taking screenshots and making fun of him. He doesn’t need someone flirting with him as a joke so they can turn around and laugh with their friends about how he’s pathetic.

 

Will gives himself the handle shyguy . While he’s waiting for his picture to be approved, he skims through profiles. He sets a smallish radius at first. He figures he can branch out as far as Indy if it’s really slim pickings. There are pretty much no profiles with faces. Not surprising in rural Indiana. A lot of them are old, if they list their ages at all. There’s a lot of Hung47 and bimarriedguy . Looking for casual fun. Must be discrete. Can’t host. If he doesn’t give a second glance at anyone over the age of twenty-five, there’s like six profiles. One catches his eye in particular. It’s a mirror shot of a tan chest, with cut abs. Floral-print board shorts that are slung low enough you can see the top of the guy’s pubes. He’s hot. Twenty-one. The profile claims he’s 5’10” and 170lbs.

 

doc holliday ☀️- 3.5miles

 

Vers-top looking for fem twinks or daddy bears. Down to host on weeknights. No face = no reply.

 

Honestly, this might be a catfish. Like. It’s all too good to be true. Maybe he’s got an ugly face or something. Will almost wishes he had the courage to send a message. But like. He’s not gonna do that this early on. He doesn’t wanna waste his one shot at the only person who looks vaguely interesting in biking distance. He’s gotta wait and think of something really good to say. Maybe take some better pictures.

 

He looks at a few more profiles without finding anyone appealing. He goes to bed without messaging anyone. 

 

***

 

Will wakes up to an inbox flooded with dick pics. 

 

His picture got approved. And like. Almost anybody who was online last night seems to have sent him a message. Sometimes maybe there’s a ‘hi’ first. Then it’s right to the cock. A lot of gross cock if he’s being honest. Like more of them have grey hair on their balls than don’t. They ask if he’s into daddies. If he’s into bears. If he’s 👀 for now. One brave soul sent him a fucking novel describing everything they would do to him, from eating his ass, to choking him, to pissing on his face. 

 

Will gets liberal with the block button. He gets rid of everyone who is obviously older than fifty. It occurs to him that he’s the only profile he saw that was listed as eighteen. Will’s not even eighteen yet. His birthday isn’t until March.

 

As he sorts through the trash (and boy there’s a lot of it), his heart skips a beat. He sees doc holliday ☀️ right there in his inbox. Buried about thirty messages deep. He sent something at three in the morning.

 

There are two text bubbles

 

you seem weird. i dig it.

 

face?

 

Will’s heart beats in his throat. 

 

Messages are starting to pop up again, because he’s online. He quickly closes out of the app. He has to get ready for school.

 

Maybe he spends the entire morning obsessing about what the best picture he’s ever taken is. Maybe he asks Max for help. They sit at lunch together.

 

“What’s this for again? Some guy you’re talking to?” Max asks after they’ve spent literally twenty minutes flipping through Will’s phone, comparing the minute details of different lighting, discussing if it’s more important that his hair looks better or if he should choose one that accentuates his eyes.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“He better be cute, Byers.”

 

“He is.”

 

“Do you have pictures of him?”

 

“Not yet. We like. Just started talking.”

 

“I expect them soon as payment for my services.” She pokes him in the ribs.

 

Will smiles. Max is great. It’s not like he can talk to Mike about guys. Even if Mike says I want to support you. He would flip out if Will actually asked him, what do I say to a guy I wanna bang to get him to bang me?

 

Right before last period, Will sends the picture. It’s one that Mike took of him at the beach over the summer. The party went on a daytrip up to Michigan City. In the photo, Will’s holding a rocket pop. His cheeks are covered in freckles, and there’s a pair of aviators sitting on his head, and he’s smiling really wide. His hair was a little longer than it is now, but still brown and fluffy. It was blessedly a day where he didn’t have any visible acne. The light hits him right to show off his prominent collar bones and the line of his jaw.

 

Will doesn’t have like, the most self esteem. He’s a queer kid in the middle of nowhere. But even he can admit, he looks pretty good.

 

He has to wait to check for a response. It’s torture. But he’s absolutely not opening Grindr on school grounds. He waits until he’s off campus. Until there’s nobody around and he’s walking his bike alongside the road on the way home. Doc Holiday is at the top of his inbox. 

 

holy shit.

 

holy shit you’re one of maxine’s stupid little friends.

 

byers?

 

Who are you???  

 

Will’s hands shake a little as he types. He has a terrible feeling about who it could be. Who might be tan, and muscular, and familiar with Max Mayfield‘s friends. 

 

lol it’s billy.

 

The response is quick. It’s immediately followed by a picture. 

 

There he is. There’s Billy goddamn Hargrove, curly blonde hair spread across a pillow, shit-eating grin on his face. It looks like he just snapped it. Of course, Will would spend most of a day agonizing over what he was gonna send to get a blurry selfie in response.

 

Of course the mysterious Grindr guy is Max’s asshole step brother. 

 

Will shouldn’t be surprised. After all, what were the odds it was gonna be someone he’d never met? Hawkins isn’t a big town. Just. Of all people. Billy is pretty much the worst option.

 

so i mean. of course your a fag.

 

you actually lookin to fuck? or you just wanna feel pretty?

 

Will has no idea what to say to that. There’s something an awful lot like panic rising in his chest. What is he supposed to tell Max? Should he tell her at all? He probably shouldn’t. Maybe Billy’s not out. Is Billy even queer? Is he trawling for hate crime victims? Is he gonna like, show up at Will’s house and murder him?

 

cmon baby. there’s no need to be nervous.

 

this your first time on here?

 

Yeah. It’s a lot .

 

Will’s not exactly sure why he hits send. He shouldn’t. It’s a terrible idea. But Billy’s clearly paying attention to him. His responses are fucking fast.

 

i’ll bet. cute little thing like you’s probably drowning in dick pics.

 

People don’t even say anything first. They just. Send them.

 

yeah. lot of horny old bastards on here.

 

you aren't 18 are you.

 

Not quite.

 

your max’s age right?

 

Yeah. 

 

well that’s not too bad. 

 

not like i really give a fuck.

 

you didn’t answer my other question.

 

What?

 

you actually looking to hook up?

 

my roommate leaves for work in about an hour. he’s not gonna be home till like two am.

 

i got condoms and lube. 

 

bet i could make you cum harder than you ever have in your life.

 

The next message is just Billy’s phone number. Will feels a little faint. Like, ostensibly he did download Grindr because he wanted to get laid. He’s tired of being the only one of his friends who’s a virgin.

 

That also doesn’t make it a good idea to just. Go over Billy Hargrove’s apartment to get fucked. 

 

It’s emphatically not a good idea to text him. 

 

Hi. It’s Will. 

 

Byers.  

 

God he’s an idiot. He puts his phone away and gets ready to swing a leg over his bike. But then his pocket vibrates twice in a row. 

 

well hellllo there :)

 

you coming over baby? need my address?

 

I don’t think I can today. 

 

ah that’s fine. don’t worry about it. 

 

glad you texted. 

 

sorry i had to get off grindr if i’m online for more than like twenty minutes my inbox blows up. 

 

let me know when you get some free time?

 

OK. Sounds good. 

 

***

 

Days pass. Will’s phone is a cursed mystery box. He feels compelled to toss into a ditch. And also to check it constantly. Any time it buzzes, he wonders. He figures it won’t be Billy. Why would it be Billy when he cleary left it open for Will to pick things back up? 

 

Will can’t do that. It’s bad enough he texted and gave Billy his phone number. He contemplates deleting his Grindr profile, but that would mean having to open it again.

 

so i came on too strong huh?

 

The message arrives about four days after initial contact. Will is just lying on the couch, watching TV. He’s still fucked up off the Robaxin that Lucas gave him right after school ended. When Grandma Sinclair got moved to a nursing home a few months ago, Lucas raided her medicine cabinet and found all sorts of shit. Will likes Robaxin, and Flexeril, and anything else that will make him loose and floaty. He’s so tense all the time. 

 

It takes him a minute to figure out what to say. He feels slow and lazy.

 

Oh not at all! Sorry. School’s been crazy. 

 

ah gotcha. 

 

well if it happened to be that you were nervous about showing up at somebody’s house after one short conversation. i understand. 

 

your a virgin right?

 

Will almost drops his phone. He wants to lie. He wants to hide. He wants to smash his screen and never talk to Billy Hargrove again. 

 

i think it’s hot. 

 

Yeah?

 

hell yeah. love the idea of being the first person to get a crack at you. 

 

i can be patient if you wanna chat for a while first. 

 

we could also just hang out and get stoned. 

 

we don’t even have to do anything. 

 

That seems a lot like a lie. It’s a pretty lie, though. Will settles a little further into the couch. Nothing about the scene seems quite real. Maybe he’s slipped into a dream without realizing it.

 

Could be fun. 

 

have you smoked before?

 

I’m friends with Max. 

 

lmaoooooo

 

yeah she’s a fuckin burnout. 

 

whats this weekend like for you?

 

My brother is actually coming back from Minny to visit, so not great.

 

totally get it. if thats true.

 

also you can just say your not ready to hang out yet.

 

It was a lie. I’m sorry.

 

no worries. i appreciate the honesty.

 

i’m serious that i don’t mind just talking. your cute and i’m bored.

 

I think I’d like talking.

 

cool.

 

so like. have you ever done anything before? have you kissed someone?

 

I mean. Not with tongue or anything.

 

Will feels himself flush, cheeks heating with embarrassment. The response is quick enough that he doesn’t spiral down a shame hole.

 

thats fuckin adorable.

 

i can teach you everything you need to know ;)

 

Omg. Um. Thanks?

 

Sorry. I’m pretty fucked up right now. I’m not good at this.

 

i think your doing just fine.

 

you stoned?

 

Kind of. 

 

Muscle relaxants.

 

damn, byers. your on the real shit.

 

you feelin good?

 

Yeah. Feels awesome.

 

A little sleepy, honestly.

 

totally get you lol.

 

i won’t be offended if you pass out.

 

i guess :P

 

Apparently Will did. Because he wakes up later with the TV till on and his phone pressed against his face. There’s a half-typed message. I would like to kiss

 

He’s kind of glad he didn’t get to send it. But also maybe wonders what would happen if he had.

 

***

 

ok i’ll bite.

 

what kinda art you like.

 

Michael Seiben, David Shrigley, Ralph Steadman and Mark Mothersbaugh are some of my favorites. 

 

mark mothersbaugh from devo?

 

Yes. He’s an artist too. I’ve got a collection of postcards he drew. 

 

and ralph steadman that illustrated fear and loathing.

 

Yeah! 

 

ok so my first impression was correct and your fucking weird.

 

is any of that similar to the type of stuff you draw? 

 

I wish. I mostly just do a lot of like, sketches from dreams I have. I also go tagging sometimes.

 

no shit. with spray paint?

 

Yeah. Sometimes paint pens or sharpies, depending where I am.

 

well look at you. what a trouble maker.

 

wait.

 

are you ZombieBoy that throws up tags all around town.

 

Yeah. I didn’t think anyone really noticed it lol.

 

you did that big crocodile smoking a hookah under the bridge by high street?

 

Yep. That’s me.

 

holy shit. 

 

awesome.

 

why are you hanging out with my sister. your way cooler than her.

 

She actually helped with that one. 

 

Or well. She kept watch while I was working on it. The whole thing took about three sessions to finish.

 

damn. your like really good.

 

Thank you :)

 

you’ll have to show me a sketchbook sometime.

 

if you wanna.

 

Totally. That’d be nice.

 

***

 

“Who are you texting?” Mike groans. 

 

Will startles. Immediately slides his phone back into his pocket. He’s being rude. He knows it. He should be paying attention to the new board game. Mike’s excited about it. Usually Will’s job is to be excited about whatever new nerdy shit they’re doing. Today he’s distracted.

 

Arkham Horror is complicated, and there are a lot of rules, and he has no idea what’s going on.

 

“He’s texting a boy,” Max grins.

 

Will elbows her. He’s been having to sit almost sideways on the couch so that she doesn’t read over his shoulder. He’s at least not stupid enough to save Billy’s number as something obvious. It’s just in there as Doc Holliday.

 

Billy explained the other day that he picked the name because he likes Billie Holiday (thus the slim bridge to his name), and also Doc Holliday was a ‘fuckin’ badass’ in the wild west. Billy’s brain makes interesting jumps. Will kind of likes it.

 

“What boy?” Mike wrinkles his nose. Like he’s annoyed at the implication.

 

“I dunno. He’s refused to give any details.”

 

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Will huffs.

 

“Do we know him?” Lucas raises an eyebrow.

 

“Does he live in another state or something?” Dustin asks brightly. He literally will skype his mormon girlfriend into game night sometimes. Surely, he’d love to not be the only one.

 

“I don’t wanna talk about it?” Will can feel his shoulders creeping up towards his ears.

 

“You know, it’s totally OK if you do!” Mike scrambles to catch up. Be the ally or whatever. “Nobody’s uncomfortable if you want to talk about a boy you’re dating.”

 

“I am currently very uncomfortable and would love for this moment to end.”

 

His pocket vibrates again. The urge to read the new text is overwhelming. It’s not like he and Billy are even talking about anything important. Billy’s stoned and giving a lecture about punk bands he’s offended Will doesn’t know about.

 

Mercifully, Mike goes back to reading out of the rule book. Will makes it a whole five minutes before going to get another beer from the mini fridge and checking his phone.

 

ok but like you’ve heard of andrew jackson jihad right?

 

Can’t say I have.

 

we’ll add it to the playlist. your hopeless.

 

He sits back down. Tries to focus on what Mike is saying. Tries to sip his beer to distract himself from the way his pocket vibrates four times in rapid succession. Mike’s probably only about halfway through another paragraph before Will’s got his phone out again.

 

dead kennedys.

 

please tell me you have at least listened to holiday in cambodia once in your miserable life.

 

byers you need it.

 

you neeeed it.

 

Omg I’m like about to get dragged into some weird board game dude. Put it on the playlist!

 

oh your busy. sorry.

 

Obviously I’d rather not be. I don’t really wanna do this shit.

 

you should leave and come over.

 

i’m loading a fresh bowl.

 

Omg.

 

its a real offer. i’d even come pick you up.

 

If I bail everyone’s gonna be real pissed.

 

ugh. what a tease.

 

let me ramble about punk bands and won’t even come listen to them on my record player.

 

I def will sometime.

 

Soon.

 

lookin forward to it ;)

 

“Will,” Mike groans.

 

“Sorry.” Will stuffs his phone away again.

 

“You’ve got it bad, my dude,” Max snorts.

 

“I hate every single one of you. Now let’s do this Cthulhu thing. All hail the underlord.”

 

***

 

so you do drugs. you tag. what other dirty secrets you got?

 

Not a whole lot, honestly.

 

I have a fort in the woods called Castle Byers. You need a password to get in.

 

gonna tell me it?

 

Maybe. We’ll see.

 

I made it when I was a kid lol. I barely fit inside it anymore.

 

Not a bad place to get high if my mom’s home though.

 

sounds like it might not be a bad place to do other things either.

 

yknow. if your still into that idea.

 

I am.

 

I’m sorry. You make me really nervous.

 

its ok baby. i get it.

 

anything i can do to make you less nervous?

 

Idk. Be less hot?

 

lmaooooo

 

like. i’ll be real with you for a second here.

 

there aren’t a lot of cute twinks running around hawkins.

 

at least not ones who will admit they’re queer and down to mess around.

 

bears are fine and all. especially when they’re the only dick available.

 

but basically your a real hot commodity. 

 

so like. you don’t need to be nervous.

 

Bfjdksafnsaf.

 

Wow.

 

Um. I’m blushing?

 

good. bet it’s real pretty. 

 

you got snapchat?

 

i mean. you could also just drop a pic here. i’m gonna screenshot anything you send regardless lmao. 

 

Will bites his lip. His hair is messy. He’s stoned. He snaps a photo and sends it, holding his breath. 

 

beautiful. 

 

***

 

ok this might be a weird question. 

 

you haven’t mentioned anything to maxine right?

 

i figure she would have come to bitch at me if you had. but idk. i’m high and paranoid lmao. 

 

No. I haven’t said anything to her. 

 

cool. 

 

high key she threatened me like. the day you came out to her. 

 

What??

 

i was home. those walls are paper thin. i heard you crying to her. 

 

soon as you left she stomped over to my room and said she’d murder me if i ever talked to you. 

 

she knows about me. obviously. shit was real different back in cali. 

 

Ohmygod. 

 

i’m not sure why she felt the need tbh. 

 

you were like fourteen. sure i was more of an asshole back then but not That much of one. 

 

This is a lot to cope with. 

 

lmaooooo. 

 

she’s an intense kid. 

 

I can’t believe you’ve known I was gay for years. 

 

buddy. 

 

everybody knows your gay. 

 

You know what I mean!!

 

well like i said. you were too young before. hell your probably still too young. but not enough that i feel bad about it.

 

So you were like. Interested before?

 

byers. your sexy as hell.

 

I’m not!!!

 

you are to me.

 

Fdjasfklsaf.

 

***

 

can i see your pretty face before i pass out?

 

Will’s lying on his bed with the door locked. Getting stoned and listening to one of the playlists Billy sent him. Folk Punk for Idiots. He snaps a photo and hits send.

 

so fuckin cute.

 

what do you think about taking your shirt off?

 

The twinge of arousal makes him warm all over. His mom’s not due home for another hour. He sides his shirt off, along with his jeans. Leaving him in a pair of plaid boxers.  He has to take the picture with his phone tilted above his head to get a shot down to his thighs. It makes his eyes look big. It makes him look young. 

 

fuck baby. 

 

your getting me so hard. 

 

Can I see?

 

His phone buzzes less than a minute later with a picture of Billy’s abs and a pair of tented basketball shorts. It looks like he’s lying down too. Will can’t help imaging they’re lying together. Billy is big. Will wants to touch him. His breath hitches. 

 

Wow. 

 

you hard too?

 

Of course he is. He’s throbbing. Zero to sixty in thirty seconds. All it took was one picture of Billy. 

 

He takes a similar photo. Just his flat stomach and the considerably less impressive boner stretching plaid fabric. 

 

goddamn. 

 

There’s another photo. The waistband of Billy’s shorts pushed down underneath his balls. He’s uncircumcised, the foreskin stretched back to show the shiny pink head of his cock. Will wonders what it tastes like. He’s feeling bold. 

 

I want it in my mouth. 

 

fuck. 

 

Will kicks off his boxers. He wraps a hand around his cock and strokes it slowly. 

 

What if it were Billy’s hand?

 

He takes another picture. Sends it. Holds his breath. He’s so turned on he feels dizzy. He’s so hard. He aches. 

 

Billy responds with a video. He’s touching himself. Breathing hard. Then he says something in a deep voice, “Fuck, baby. Make me so goddamn horny.”

 

Will wants to melt into a puddle. He reaches for the lotion on the nightstand. Slicks up his palm. He really starts going to town. Fast. Heat already curling inside him. 

 

There’s another video. Billy rolling his hips, thrusting into his fist. He groans softly. “Wanna feel your mouth so bad.”

 

Will comes. It’s sudden. Intense. He shivers as his hips jerk. He takes a picture of the puddle of jizz on his stomach, and his still hard cock. 

 

holy fuck. 

 

i wanna lick that up. 

 

your so sexy baby. 

 

love you get off that quick. 

 

I was thinking about you touching me. 

 

I was thinking about you on top of me. 

 

god. 

 

shit. 

 

There’s another video. Shaky breathing. Billy’s really jacking off now. He grunts. His cock twitches, splattering come all over his hand and abs. It sends a shock of heat up Will’s spine, even though he just came. 

 

He knows he’s gonna watch that video any time he gets off for weeks. 

Chapter 2: Of Age

“You sent nudes! Oh my gawwwd. What a whore.” Max shoves Will in the shoulder. “At least tell me your face wasn’t in them.”

 

“I’m not a moron.” Will can’t bear to make eye contact. 

 

They’re sitting under the bleachers, passing a joint back and forth. Will just has English and art class after lunch. He’ll be fine. 

 

“You totally are.” She laughs. “But at least not as much of one as you could be.”

 

“I was stoned.”

 

“So have you guys like, hooked up yet?”

 

“No. He’s older. I feel like he’s gonna wanna have sex if I kiss him.”

 

“How much older?”

 

“He’s twenty one.”

 

“Slut.”

 

“Stooop. I haven’t done anything! We haven’t even hung out in person.”

 

“Seriously?” Max raises a penciled-in eyebrow. “How’d you even meet him.”

 

“Grindr.” Will covers his face with his hands. 

 

“Billiam Byers, I can not with you. Of course he’s gonna wanna fuck you. That’s a sex app.”

 

“He’s been really nice, though! Like we’ve been chatting for weeks, and he knows I’m a virgin, and he keeps saying he doesn’t wanna rush me.”

 

“Guys will say anything to get you alone and get in your pants.” Max huffs. 

 

“Well. Maybe I wanna fuck him.”

 

“So go fuck him, then! Stand in your truth.”

 

“I don’t know. I’m so anxious. What if I’m bad at it?”

 

“You will be. He won’t care.”

 

“Ughhhh.”

 

“As long as he gets his dick wet, he’ll be happy. Trust me.”

 

“I’m supposed to hang out with him on Friday. Don’t tell anyone.”

 

“I won’t. I guess. Do you want me to like, check in on you to a certain time to make sure he’s not an axe murderer? Where are you meeting him?”

 

“His house.”

 

“Don’t be a fucking idiot. Meet him in public first.”

 

“Where? It’s Hawkins.”

 

“I don’t know. Make him take you for ice cream or something.”

 

“Right. Make him think I’m even more of a little kid that he does already.”

 

“Just. Be careful. OK? Do you wanna borrow my pepper spray?” She’s already digging it out of her purse and shoving it at him. 

 

It’s nice that she cares. Will feels super guilty that it’s her stepbrother that he’s going to hang out with. Not guilty enough to confess. But still. 

 

***

 

Will’s heart rate is probably in unhealthy territory as he bikes away from school. He’s not going fast or anything. He doesn’t wanna be gross and sweaty. It’s just that he’s going to Billy’s apartment. He and Billy are gonna be alone together. For hours. It’s gonna be the first time he’s seen Billy in person since like, freshman year when Billy moved out of Max’s house.

 

He keeps stopping to check google maps, even though he knows where he’s going. He’s stalling. 

 

let me know when your close. 

 

For sure. ETA like 20 minutes.

 

Really, Will could probably make it in fifteen. Billy only lives about six miles from school, and Will’s halfway there. 

 

He feels stupid pulling into the Cherry Hill apartment complex with his backpack still on. He looks like a kid. Will isn’t particularly tall. He’s way too skinny. He’s got a bad case of baby face. It’s helped that he stopped letting his mom cut his hair and that he buys clothes that fit him instead of just wearing Jonathan’s hand-me-downs. He works summer jobs to fund looking somewhat decent. He still feels small as he locks up his bike and approaches the building.

 

It’s outdoor, concrete stairwells. Billy lives on the third floor. Will shoots off a text.

 

Walking up.

 

He sees the open doorway and Billy leaning out of it as soon as he gets to the landing. Billy’s in a fully unbuttoned shirt that’s patterned with pineapples and a pair of black skinny jeans that are cut off at the knee. His curly blonde hair is up in a loose ponytail. He looks effortless in a way that’s certainly purposeful. 

 

Will feels stupid in his lavender polo shirt and fitted khakis. He’s not cool. It’s better if he doesn’t try to be. He just dresses nice as he can afford and puts a little product in his hair and figures its the best he can do.

 

“Hey, Byers,” Billy grins. 

 

“Hi.” Will is like, standing just a couple feet away now. He’s not sure what to do. If they’re supposed to hug, or if that’s weird, or…

 

Billy steps aside and gestures through the door. Will walks in, anxiety already intensifying. Billy’s apartment is cleaner than he expected. It’s not very big. The common space is basically just one big room. There’s an open kitchen. A wooden table and chairs. Then there’s a couch in the middle of the room, facing a TV. There are a few guitars in the corner. Some posters on the walls of old movies like Scarface and Clockwork Orange. And of course, a huge bong on the collection of milk crates that seem to be serving as a coffee table.

 

“Put your stuff down wherever. You want a beer?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Will sets his backpack on one of the chairs by the table. There’s a pile of shoes by the door, and Billy is barefoot, so Will toes off his low-rise converse. Billy bends over and grabs two beers from the fridge. Will can’t help staring at the curve of his ass. God, he’s sexy.

 

Billy pops the tabs on both cans of PBR. He gives one to Will. Then puts a hand on the small of Will’s back and guides him over to the couch. Will’s skin tingles where they’re touching. He’s breathing way too fast. Billy settles down on the middle cushion. Will sits next to him, pressed up against the arm of the cracked leather sofa. He clutches his beer to his chest and looks around the room. They’re so very alone. 

 

“Wanna watch something? Paul’s got Hulu. You like, It’s Always Sunny?”

 

“I’ve um, never seen it.”

 

“I swear to god, you live under a rock.”

 

Billy turns the TV on and grabs a PS4 controller. Will sips his beer. He sips it a lot. Like, it’s already halfway gone. He just watches as Billy pulls up whatever show they’re gonna watch and hits play. Then he watches Billy reach for the bong and the pill bottle full of weed that’s next to it. He watches Billy load a bowl while the TV plays in the background. He watches Billy take a huge rip and accepts the bong when it’s offered.

 

It’s such a tall bong, Will has to carefully balance it on his knees. He tries to take a small hit. He’s always bad at judging it. He ends up pulling the slide late and getting way more than he bargained for. He chokes like a bitch, feels his cheeks heating up. Billy laughs and takes the bong back. Will tries to damp the coughing fit with more beer. He kills the rest of the can and sets it empty on the floor.

 

“Feel free to grab another one.” Billy smiles. He takes another impressive hit, holds it, blows out a silky cloud of smoke.

 

Will doesn’t want to stand up because he’s low-key already getting hard. It’s worse when Billy presses closer and drapes an arm around him. Will can’t focus on the show. He’s just buzzing everywhere that their bodies are touching. He aches with how bad he wants something. Anything. He’s not gonna be the one to initiate it.

 

He’s so fucking relieved when Billy cups his chin and turns his head. Billy’s eyes are glassy. His pupils are dilated. He leans in slow, giving Will time to pull away. Their lips brush together. Will moans. Then Billy’s licking into his mouth. Will doesn’t know what to do. He’s dizzy and disoriented. He tries to just kind of follow along. He’s hot all over. He feels like he’s vibrating with how intense this is.

 

“Don’t open your mouth so wide.” Billy murmurs. 

 

Will’s shivers with embarrassment, but follows the advice as best he can. Bill’s got a hand in Will’s hair. Not pulling, just rubbing his scalp. It feels amazing. The hand that was on Will’s face drops down to his thigh. Squeezes. Will can’t help the gasp.

 

“How you feelin’?” Billy’s voice dips lower. It’s rough and smokey.

 

“Good. Making out is nice.” Will knows he sounds dumb. He can’t help it. His brain isn’t working right now.

 

“Yeah, baby. It’s real nice.”

 

Billy kisses him again. He grabs Will’s hips and pulls him closer. He pulls Will into his lap. God. Will sits, straddling Billy’s thighs, hands on his bare chest. He has to feel it. The smooth skin. The solid muscle. Billy has his hands low on Will’s waist. 

 

The kisses get more heated. They’re dirty. Wet and deep. Will has no basis for comparison, but a description that comes to mind is tounge fucked. He can’t stop himself from squirming. He presses closer, right up against Billy’s abs. He can feel Billy’s erection underneath him. 

 

“Fuck. You’re so hard, baby.” Billy’s hands slip lower. He grabs Will’s ass and squeezes it.

 

Will whimpers. He feels slutty, rocking against Billy’s body. Grinding on him just a little. Billy nips at Will’s lower lip, drags his teeth across it.

 

“God. You’re gonna kill me. I only got so much self control here.”

 

“Maybe we could do more than kiss?”

 

“Yeah?” Billy groans.

 

“Maybe um. We could touch each other. Just hands. You know.”

 

Billy pops the button on Will’s pants. He drags the zipper down. Rubs Will through his boxer briefs. Will moans. 

 

“Fuck.” Billy kisses the side of Will’s neck. Bites gently. Then harder. 

 

He pushes Will’s underwear down, out of the way. He spits on his palm and wraps his hand around Will’s cock. He strokes it slow, grip firm. He brushes his thumb over the head of Will’s dick. It’s the best thing Will has ever felt. It’s overwhelming. He’s a spring that’s coiled way too tight. 

 

Will comes, gasping, shaking, splattering jizz into Billy’s stomach. 

 

“Holy shit.” Billy murmurs. “You’re so fuckin’ sexy, baby.”

 

Will is still twitching with the aftershocks. He doesn’t feel sexy. He feels young, and inexperienced, and embarrassed about his utter lack of stamina. Billy kisses him again and it’s hard to focus on the bad thoughts. It’s hard to focus on any thoughts. They all just slip away. The only thing that matters is Billy’s tongue in Will’s mouth. 

 

Billy shifts, moving Will back a little. He unzips his own jeans. Apparently, he wasn’t wearing boxers or anything. His cock is out. Hard. Shiny at the tip. Will touches it on autopilot. 

 

The foreskin is silky. It glides so smooth. It’s wild, watching it slide over the pink tip of Billy’s dick and then back to expose it again. Will knows he said just hands. He wants to taste it. He’s gonna taste it. 

 

Will slides off the couch, down onto his knees. Billy gets the message. He spreads his legs so Will can crowd between them. Will has no idea what he’s doing, other than vague notions he’s gotten from porn. He knows to keep his teeth out of the way and breathe through his nose. 

 

He grabs Billy’s cock and pulls the foreskin back enough to expose the tip. He holds it steady as he leans in. He figures it’s probably best not to overthink it. So he just flicks his tongue out and drags it over the head of Billy’s dick. It tastes salty. A little musky. He’s kind of into it. 

 

“Christ.” Billy groans. He has a hand on Will’s shoulder, squeezing it. The other hand is on his head. He’s not shoving Will down, though it seems like maybe he wants to. 

 

Will lets Billy’s cock push between his lips. He lets it rub over his tongue as he bobs his head. He can’t take a lot of it. When it starts to edge at the opening of his throat, he gags. 

 

“So good, baby,” Billy murmurs. His fingers tangled in Will’s hair. Tugging, but not hard enough to hurt. “Just a little more. You can do it. Just relax.”

 

Will tries. He chokes and has to pull back. His eyes are tearing up. He doesn’t feel like crying or anything. Probably he wasn’t breathing enough. 

 

Billy is panting. Staring at him with an expression that can only be described as hungry. Like Will is a rabbit that strayed too far from the safety of his den and Billy is a wolf. Maybe Will should be afraid. He isn’t. He’s liked the chase. He’s very interested in what happens now that Billy’s caught him. 

 

“You good, sweetheart? Can you keep going?” Billy sounds kind of strained. Just like the sweet expression that replaces the obvious lust seems disingenuous. 

 

“I’m good.” Will’s voice is raspy and wrecked. He likes it. 

 

Billy gently guides him back down. Will opens his mouth and takes Billy’s cock as far as he can. Billy keeps the hand on his head, holding his hair. He directs the rhythm and tempo. Tugging and pushing, but never too hard. Never more than Will can take. 

 

Will appreciates the opportunity to zone out and not worry about it if he’s doing this the way Billy wants. He lets the drool run down his chin, because he can’t swallow. He focuses on breathing. He focuses  on Billy’s soft moans. Will’s cock twitches. He’s already getting hard again. 

 

Suddenly, Billy pulls him up, off his cock. He keeps the tip of it pressed against Will’s lips. He jerks off. Fast. Grunting. Will feels the sticky warmth splatter across his lips. It shoots far enough to get on his cheek. 

 

Billy lets go of his hair and slumps back on the couch, panting. 

 

“Well that was sure something, huh?”

 

Will wipes his face off as best he can. He licks his lips. Billy tastes kind of bitter. It’s still that dull, milky flavor. Will’s tasted his own. He tasted Mike’s that one time they were really drunk and they jerked off lying on the floor in his basement. 

 

Billy looks down. “Damn. You ready to go again?”

 

Will nods. He definitely lets out a noise that resembles a squeak when Billy reaches down and picks him up . Billy sets him down on the couch, on his back. Then Billy’s got his face between Will’s legs, licking his cock. 

 

If Billy’s hand was good, his mouth is an existential crisis. Will has no idea how to cope with the sensation of being enveloped in the slick heat. He doesn’t know how to cope with Billy’s tongue flicking. Or how it feels to nudge against his throat. 

 

He at least lasts a little longer this time before he shudders apart. It’s sudden. He doesn’t even give a warning. He’s on another planet. At least Billy doesn’t seem upset. He swallows. He laughs. 

 

He sprawls out on top of Will. The weight is nice. It makes Will feel higher than the weed did. 

 

“I’d like to see you again.” Billy murmurs, kissing Will’s neck. 

 

“Yeah. That’d be good.”

 

“Cool.”

 

***

 

“So?” Max nudges Will’s foot under the plastic cafeteria table. 

 

“So?” Will looks pointedly down at his meatloaf. 

 

“How’d the date go, fucker?”

 

“It was fine.”

 

“Just fine?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Did you hook up?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And?”

 

“Like. It was good? Do you really want details?” Will feels himself going pink. It’s awful, telling Max  about things he did with her stepbrother. She doesn’t know it’s Billy. She wouldn’t be asking if she did. She might not even be speaking to him. 

 

“I mean, you don’t have to tell me.” She huffs. “I just thought I was your friend or something.”

 

“We made out. And he jerked me off. And then I blew him.” 

 

“William.”

 

“I wanted to. He didn’t even ask me to. I just did it. And then he did it for me too, after.”

 

“You’re hopeless.”

 

“He’s really hot, OK?”

 

“He better be. Do I ever get to see pictures of this guy?”

 

“I don’t know. He doesn’t really take a lot of selfies.”

 

“Can I meet him then?”

 

“We’ve hooked up once, Max. He’s not my boyfriend or something.”

 

“You’re such a killjoy it’s not even funny.”

***

 

Will goes to Billy’s apartment a lot. 

 

His mom usually isn’t home until like seven or eight on weeknights. Billy’s out of work at three. Right when Will gets out of school. Four hours is plenty of time to get high and hook up. 

 

At first they mostly hang out on the couch. They progress to Billy’s room, once they stop pretending they’re gonna pay attention to a TV show or a movie for any length of time. Will wants to be touching whenever possible, even if they aren’t actively having sex. He likes to just lie in Billy’s bed and stare up at the thin tapestries thumbtacked to the ceiling. He likes listening to music when Billy is wrapped around him,  telling him about Jello Biafra, and Henry Rollins, and the history of punk music in America. He talks about desert trash bands, and the intersection of bluegrass and hardcore, and the garage shows he used to go to in California. 

 

“Cali is awesome. You’d love it there. You’d love the beach.”

 

“Is it a lot different than going to the lake?”

 

“Listen, if there’s no salt water, it’s not a fuckin’ beach.”

 

“You’ll have to take me sometime.”

 

“Hell yeah. I’m gonna do a road trip or something once I got enough saved up.”

 

Billy takes another drag off the joint and hands it over to Will. It’s getting a little late. Close to seven. Will really shouldn’t smoke any more. He’ll have to bike home soon. 

 

“No thanks. I gotta sober up.”

 

“Suit yourself.” Billy takes another few puffs. Then he sets the joint down in the ashtray by his bed. He lights a cigarette instead. The smoke floats out the open window. 

 

It’s getting colder outside. Will isn’t sure what he’s gonna do when there’s too much snow on the ground to bike. Mike will drive him to school. Mike isn’t going to drive him to Billy’s place without asking a lot of questions. 

 

When Billy is done smoking, he gets up and closes the window. He lies down and pulls Will on top of him. They’re both naked. Their lips brush together. It’s seven o’clock. 

 

“Billy, I have to go home.” Will says, not trying to roll away. 

 

“I’ll drive you.”

 

“You’re high.”

 

“I’ll drive slow.”

 

Will doesn’t wanna stop kissing him. He can feel Billy’s cock filling out. His is too. They start to rock together. Billy reaches for the lube on the nightstand. He squeezes some into his palm, wraps a slick hand around both their cocks. They grind together, lazy, then faster. The slide of skin feels so good. Will’s already high and dreamy. He’s tingling all over. 

 

He wants to say something stupid. He wants to tell Billy about feelings. He wants to say that Billy is the only thing in life he looks forward to. Everything else in Hawkins is dull greyscale. Billy is sunshine. Warm like the beaches he talks about must be. 

 

Will has no idea what Billy thinks about him. If Will is actually something he likes, or if Will is just what’s available. If Billy still lived in California, he wouldn’t have ever given Will a second glance. That’s for sure. Probably. It’s not the sort of thing you ask. 

 

“Feel so good, baby,” Billy whispers. He tightens his grip. He thrusts against Will, rolling his hips so tantalizing. 

 

Will thinks about letting Billy fuck him. It’s a thing that scares him. It’s probably going to hurt. But also what if it feels good? Billy seems like he knows what he’s doing. Maybe he could make it good. 

 

He makes everything else feel so good. Will whimpers. He’s starting to tense. Billy gets him off so much harder than he can ever manage by himself. He comes while they’re kissing. He shudders and makes a sticky mess. Billy grunts. He jerks himself off fast and rough, tongue still in Will’s mouth. 

 

They probably don’t do a very good job cleaning up. Will puts his bike in Billy’s car and they drive back to his house, with Circle Jerks blasting through the speakers. 

 

His mom’s car is parked in the driveway. Will gets out quick, barely waving goodbye before walking his bike up and locking it to the porch. He darts inside. 

 

His mom is standing by the window, watching Billy drive away. 

 

“Who was that?” She raises an eyebrow. She doesn’t look upset exactly. She also doesn’t look not upset. 

 

Will knows better than to lie to her flat out. She can always tell. He doesn’t like keeping secrets from her, anyway. She’s cool about most stuff. She doesn’t like that he smokes weed, she doesn’t like that he tags, and she doesn’t like that he drinks. But she says that as long as he doesn’t get arrested, as long as he’s safe, and as long as he doesn’t get in a car with someone who’s drunk, he can’t make his own choices and learn from them the hard way. 

 

Besides, she might recognize Billy’s car. The blue Camaro is distinctive. Billy used to drop Max off sometimes. She might be asking just to see what he’ll say. 

 

“Um, Max’s brother. He was over there for dinner and offered me a ride.”

 

“That’s nice of him. Have you already eaten, then?”

 

“Yeah.” Hot pockets and beer. But it does qualify as some kind of dinner, right?

 

She smiles and ruffles his hair. “I got us ice cream.”

 

“Oooh. What kind?”

 

“Mint chocolate chip.”

 

“Gross.”

 

“Don’t worry, I got your rocky road,” she rolls her eyes. 

 

They sit on the couch with their respective quarts of Bryers (they always joke it’s a mistake on the package and it’s really Byers ice cream) and they watch the Late Show. 

 

“How’s Bob?” Will asks at a commercial break. 

 

“Bob’s good.” His mom smiles. 

 

Will likes Bob. Because Bob is a nice person. He wants his mom to be happy. They’ve been dating for a couple of years now. He thinks they’re waiting to get married and move in together until he graduates. 

 

“What about you? Any news on the boyfriend front?”

 

“Mom.”

 

He halfway wants to tell her. Maybe she wouldn’t get mad. It’s risky, though. Especially when he and Billy aren’t actually dating. 

 

He’ll keep it to himself for now. Maybe at some point. Maybe. 

Chapter 3: You Or Me

i’m picking you up today. 

 

That seems like a bad idea. 

 

it’s fine. i’ll park a little down the street or something. 

 

I don’t know. 

 

your not biking in this shit. i’m upset you even biked to school. 

 

It wasn’t that bad this morning. Mike was sick. 

 

you should have called me. 

 

You’re at work. 

 

bitch i leave for work at the same time your leaving for school. 

 

idk why you don’t just let me drive you to school also.

 

Mike would wonder who was giving me rides. 

ok.

 

What?

 

nothing. i’m picking you up today. 

 

What if someone sees?

 

fuck it?

 

like. it’s fine. your legal. indiana is an ass-backwards state. 

 

If my mom found out she might flip. 

 

i’m not afraid of joyce fuckin byers. 

 

You really should be. She’s friends with Chief Hopper. That guy’s a giant. 

 

And what about Max?

 

what about her. 

 

You told me not to tell her. 

 

i don’t really care. 

 

I do. She’s going to be so mad at me. 

 

no she won’t. she’ll be mad at me. she’ll think i tricked you into it or something. 

 

max hates me anyway. like. whatever. 

 

I guess I can meet you on the corner of Pine?

 

that’s five blocks. 

 

it’s two degrees outside. 

 

I’ll be fine! I’ve lived here my whole life!!

 

you can meet me exactly one block south of the parking lot or i can pull up right in front of school. 

 

your choice. 

 

Why are you being like this. 

 

i don’t want you to get frostbite. 

 

Billy. 

 

that is the answer to your question. i am worried about you. and your a lot more stubborn than someone so small and cute has any right to be. 

 

I see what you’re doing. 

 

what am i doing?

 

You can’t distract me with compliments. 

 

please just let me pick you up. 

 

Fine. 

 

Not in the parking lot. 

 

one block down. scout’s honor. 

 

***

 

Will and Mike don’t get to hang out just the two of them very often anymore. Will suspects that’s a situation Mike arranges. He gets it. It’s kind of Will’s own fault. You can only have a blatant crush on your best friend for so long before shit gets kind of weird. 

 

It was a bad idea to jerk off together. He didn’t force Mike to do it or anything. In fact, it was Mike’s idea. Will should have said no. Because ever since then—which was like over half a year ago—shit has been a little weird. 

 

It’s a Friday night. Usually, Will would be at Billy’s. But Mike said he wanted to have a guys night . Will had to say yes. He had to take the olive branch. 

 

It’s nice to just sit on Mike’s couch, and laugh at Dude Where’s My Car , like they used to when they were too young to really understand some of the jokes. It’s nice to drink shitty beer, and eat shitty frozen pizza, and just be dumb teenagers. 

 

Will’s phone has vibrated a few times. Because Billy has no self control. Will doesn’t really either. But he’s been trying to only check the messages when Mike gets off the couch to grab drinks or take a piss or something. Billy’s just been rambling about his annoying coworker at the call center, and how his roommate Paul wants to get a turtle and turtles smell bad, and some new game he wants to buy. Will is completely blindsided when he unlocks his phone and is faced with the message:

 

so i’ve been thinking about how i’m going to take your virginity. 

 

Dnsjshdhnss. 

 

What??

 

well i mean, i guess i already did that. depending how technical you wanna get. but like. 

 

i wanna fuck your ass at some point. if your down. 

 

I’m too drunk to cope with this. 

 

Mike sits back down. Will puts his phone away. His pocket buzzes five times in about thirty seconds.

 

“Is that um… the guy?” Mike seems a little flustered. 

 

Will wants to die. Is it possible to avoid this conversation? God. Probably not. 

 

“Yeah,” He shrugs. 

 

“You’ve been together a while.”

 

“I guess. I mean. We aren’t dating.”

 

“You’ve just been hanging out for like five months.”

 

“Yeah.” Jesus has it really been that long? Why does Mike know that? “It’s kind of weird that you’re keeping track.”

 

“It’s kind of weird you won’t tell any of us about him or let us meet him. You haven’t even mentioned his name.”

 

Will chews on his lip. Back in the old days, he could tell Mike anything. A lot has happened since then. The social circle grew. It became increasingly obvious that Will was different. Mike started dating girls. He had a girlfriend that lasted a full school year. They’re still friends. Probably closer friends than Will and Mike are at this point. He just has the good sense not to bring her to game night, partly because she’s not into it, but also because Will gets despondent. Or he used to. When he was the only one there who didn’t have a Person. 

 

But Will wants to tell somebody about Billy . He can’t tell Max or Jonathan. Lucas would rat him out to Max instantly. Dustin would be so very worried about him. He might feel a sense of obligation to narc. 

 

Maybe Mike is the best option. 

 

“OK.” Will swivels on the couch. He sits sideways on the cushion, cross-legged with his back against the armrest. “You can’t tell literally anyone.”

 

Mike mirrors him, turning and folding his legs. This is how they used to sit when they were playing go fish or something. 

 

“Is it bad? Is he like, way older or something?”

 

Will spits in his hand and holds it out. “Pain of death. You have to keep this a secret.”

 

Mike seems hesitant. But he spits on his palm. They shake hands. It’s stupid and childish. They’ve made and broken plenty of spit pacts before. Like when they said they’d be best friends forever. Times change. 

 

“Billy Hargrove.”

 

“What?” Mike jerks his hand away. He looks like he just got sucker punched. 

 

“Don’t freak out.”

 

“How—what—Max’s brother?”

 

“Stepbrother.”

 

“The guy who broke Nancy’s Boyfriend’s nose at a party.”

 

“He’s nicer now?”

 

“They guy who almost got expelled for being drunk at school all the time.”

 

“I mean. We’re stoned at school a lot. Is that different?”

 

“Billy Hargrove that got arrested for running a fight club out in the woods and beating the shit out of a bunch of underclassmen every week. He’s gay.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I need to lie down or something. What even.” Mike reaches for his beer and downs the rest of it in one go. He points the bottle neck at Will like an accusatory finger. “You’re having sex with Billy Hargrove.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“What the fuck, Will?”

 

“Why is it so bad? He’s not that much of an asshole anymore. He’s actually really nice to me.”

 

“How nice can he be if you’ve been sleeping together for this long and you’re still not dating?”

 

That one stings a little. Will tries not to show it. “Gay guys are different.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Guys like sex? It’s easy to get off together? You don’t have to do the feelings stuff first?”

 

Will can almost see the gears spinning in Mike’s brain. Trying to math out whether Will is lying to him. Technically, he’s not. Having sex with dudes undoubtedly takes less work than trying to date girls. He does want the feelings stuff. That’s not something he has to address right now. 

 

“I dunno.” Will reaches for his beer and takes a sip. “Like. If you’re getting a blowjob four days a week, who cares what you call it?”

 

“Four days a week?” Mike looks like he might faint. 

 

“Sometimes five. Or six. Or um. Every day.”

 

“Will!”

 

“What?”

 

“Are you like living at his house or something?”

 

“No. I just go there after school. I mean. It’s not like I’ve got much else going on.” 

 

Mike flinches a little. He knows what Will means. Will used to be at Mike’s house after school every day. Will doesn’t have many other friends. Max is awesome. But she and Lucas break up and get back together constantly. When they’re dating, they’re inseparable, and they’re awkward to hang out with. Dustin is in so many clubs, and is always doing weird science shit, and building stuff. Mike hangs out with girls. He has other friends from the basketball team. Will was alone every day after school for basically an entire month before he started talking to Billy. 

 

God. Billy Hargrove is his best friend. What fucked up timeline is he even living in?

 

“He’s nice to you?” Mike asks after too long of a silence. “He’s never hurt you or anything?”

 

“He’s never hurt me. He’s… he’s kind of sweet.”

 

“You’re sure he’s not taking advantage of you?”

 

“I mean. I don’t know how I could be entirely sure of that. I can’t read minds. But I don’t feel like he is.”

 

“OK.” Mike sighs. “OK. Just be safe, I guess.”

 

“Thanks, Dad.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Mike gets up to grab them both another beer. 

 

omg when’s your prom. 

 

i’m gonna pick you up after and drive you to the woods. 

 

we can fuck in the back of my camaro. 

 

windows all foggy. car rocking on the wheels. 

 

it will be so romaaaantic. 

 

Njrmadndh. 

 

Billy!!!

 

your such a bottom. 

 

only bottoms key smash. 

 

I’m yelling. 

 

***

 

Prom is several months away. Will doubts they’re gonna make it that long. Especially when Billy is already testing the waters. 

 

It’s a normal Thursday in mid February. The 15th. Nothing was said yesterday. Will didn’t expect anything, really. He and Billy hung out as usual. Will worked on the large, colorful octopus he’s been spray painting in the stairwell of the Cherry Hill apartment complex while Billy kept watch. The building owners are always powerwashing Will’s art away, but they have yet to install cameras and the other tenants who have walked by complimented his work. So.

 

Will and Billy are stoned, lying in bed. Making out. Billy is being extra handsy. Grabbing Will’s ass a lot. 

 

“Can I finger you?” He asks in that rough, deep voice that makes Will feel kinda faint. 

 

Of course Will says yes. 

 

He lies on his back, feet on the mattress, knees bent. Billy kisses up his thighs. Gives his dick a few slow licks. Then a plastic cap clicks and Billy presses a slick finger against Will’s hole. He teases for a moment, rubbing against it before pressing forward. 

 

Will fingers himself all the time. He discovered that it makes jerking off a lot better in like, the sixth grade. It’s far from new sensation. But it’s still different having someone else do it. Billy’s fingers are thick. One of them is like two of Will’s. The ache of it is familiar. It’s that dirty kind of pleasure. It stings, and it feels good, and Will wants it fast and deep . He’s usually rough with himself. As soon as that first stretch, he’s starving for it. He fucks himself as hard as he can. He doesn’t know why. It objectively shouldn’t feel good. But it does. 

 

Billy goes slow. He’s careful. He slides that finger in and out like he’s worried Will’s gonna tell him to stop. 

 

“More,” Will whispers. 

 

“Yeah?” Billy’s voice has dropped even deeper. 

 

“Please.”

 

Billy gives him another finger. Will rocks his hips against it. His cock is throbbing. He has to touch it. Just rub his palm over the head of it. His breath hitches. He’s high on the sting of being stretched. It makes him feel too warm. Shuddery. It’s addictive like pressing on a bruise to make it twinge. 

 

Will suspects he might be a masochist. He’s watched plenty of BDSM porn. He’s very interested in what it would be like to get choked, and slapped, and fucked so hard he cries. It’s not a thought experiment he’s quite ready to bring into reality. He’s pretty sure Billy would make it happen for him. That’s a prospect he finds a little scary. He’s worried about letting something out of the cage that won’t allow itself to be recaptured. 

 

Billy is nice now. He’s restrained. Will can’t escape the sense that there’s still a capacity for violence lurking beneath the surface. Sometimes when Billy gets upset about something, there’s a flash of a moment where things are very uncertain. Billy tends to act the way Lonnie did during his momentary stints of sobriety. Composed and careful in a way that doesn’t seem entirely true or stable. Will’s drawn to it like a moth. But he also knows it’s not something he should poke at. 

 

Will moans when Billy brushes against his prostate. Billy does it again. And again. Will has to jerk off. He barely gets his hand around his cock before Billy’s grabbing his wrist and pulling it away. 

 

“Nah, baby. I wanna see if you can come like this.”

 

“Fuck,” Will gasps. 

 

Billy nudges a third finger into him. Starts thrusting his fingers a little faster. Will can’t keep from squirming. His thighs are shaking. His dick is leaking. 

 

“You’re so goddamn tight.” Billy groans. “I wanna feel you so bad.”

 

Part of Will wants to say do it. Put it in me. He’s still too nervous about it to actually go through with it. There’s just such an overwhelming lust pulsing through him. He’s close. Billy bites his inner thigh and that’s it. Will falls apart, squeezing down around Billy’s fingers. He makes such a mess all over his stomach. Then Billy’s on top of him. Kissing him. Will is empty, which feels awful, except then the head of Billy’s dick is brushing against him. Billy’s jerking off, smearing his cock against Will’s hole. Almost pushing in. Almost. 

 

Billy swears. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He usually lasts longer. He must be really turned on. It’s only a minute or two before he groans. He just barely presses his cock into Will’s ass. It’s stings. It’s tantalizing. God. He’s coming inside Will. 

 

He collapses. Panting against Will’s neck. Kissing along his jaw. 

 

“Holy shit. That was so hot.”

 

“Yeah… yeah it really was.” Will feels like he’s floating above himself. He’s so out of it. He wishes he could fall asleep right where he is.

 

He’d have to call his mom and tell her he wasn’t coming home. He’d have to lie to her. He doesn’t like to lie to her.

 

Besides. Maybe Billy wouldn’t want him to stay over. He’s never asked before. He’s tried to get Will to stay late. Just another half an hour. Driven him home far past curfew. But he’s never suggested a sleepover.

 

It’s just as well. The logistics would be too hard anyway. 

 

“Oh!” Billy rolls out of bed suddenly. “I got us something.”

 

He leaves the room, and Will stares after him, no idea what’s about to happen. Billy returns after a couple minutes. Holding several heart-shaped, red cardboard boxes. Russell Stover Valentine's chocolates.

 

Billy plops down on the bed and opens one, pushing it towards Will. 

 

“All this shit was on sale when I went grocery shopping. Like. Valentine’s day is bogus. But the cheap candy the day after ain’t bad.”

 

Billy picks up a chocolate and pops it into his mouth. Will does the same. Maybe he wants to believe this means something, even if he knows it probably doesn’t. He still smiles and feels a little warm fuzzy, sprawled on Billy’s bed, eating chocolate from a bright red box. 

 

***

 

do you wanna go to a party.

 

What kind of party?

 

lakehouse. tommy’s having a thing at his grandparents place while theyre on vacation in florida.

 

itd be like a weekend. 

 

next weekend. i could drive us.

 

its in michigan.

 

That’s not a party. That’s like a road trip.

 

you think your mom would be cool with it?

 

She’s pretty cool. But not that cool.

 

Idk what I could make up to get her to let that happen.

 

yeah. your right.

 

i guess i didnt really wanna go anyway.

 

You can still go!

 

well i dont wanna go without you. then id just be getting drunk with tommy and carol. like. thats boring.

 

So wait. It would be just the four of us?

 

yeah.

 

I mean. That does sound cool.

 

do you think any of your friends would cover for you?

 

I don’t know about a whole weekend. It’s a small town.

 

i get it.

 

its chill.

 

I’ll still ask.

 

yeah?

 

Can’t hurt, right? It would be fun.

 

it def would be :)

 

***

 

“Michigan.” Mike scowls at him. They’re sitting on opposite sides of a booth at Donny’s, staring at each other over a half eaten ham and pineapple pizza. Will said he’d buy. Mike immediately knew something was up, but had the decency to let Will broach the subject.

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“With Billy Hargrove, Carol Epcott, and Tommy Hernandez.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“You realize those are all like. Trash people. Nancy said they were the meanest kids in her graduating class. Tommy is a freaking drug dealer. Carol’s ‘little sister’ that appeared at the start of their senior year was obviously her daughter. She shouldn’t be out partying all weekend. What are you even gonna do with them?”

 

“Hang out and get fucked up, I would imagine.” Will shrugs. “You’re really judgmental, man. Have you ever even talked to any of them?”

 

“No! I haven’t. Because they’re all losers. Like. Tommy and Carol only moved a couple towns over. Billy’s still in Hawkins. They’re wastoids with no future and I’m worried they’re gonna drag you down too. I mean, you’re asking me to lie for you so you can spend a weekend getting high and having sex a guy who’s like, way too old for you. That’s not the Will I know.”

 

Will wonders if Mike would call him a trash person if he got stuck in Hawkins. His mom might need him around. He’d worry about her if he left. He doesn’t have a car. It might take a long time to save up enough money to move without going into a bunch of debt. He wonders what’s so bad about just hanging out and having sex with someone who’s hot that you like a lot. 

 

He wonders if it’s not so much the age gap and it’s the fact that Billy’s a guy. Mike has always been a little uncomfortable about Will’s refusal to act normal. That’s what Mike does. He acts normal. 

 

He acts normal even though it started as just jerking off together and then he begged Will to touch him. He called Will pretty and said it felt so good. He kissed Will’s neck and held onto him after. It shattered Will’s heart into a thousand tiny pieces because the next day, Mike wouldn’t look him in the eye and barely said a word to him before Will got sad enough to walk out the door. 

 

Mike’s rich. He likes girls too. He’s gonna go to college, and live in an apartment his parents pay for, and he’s probably never gonna have to feel lonely or like he doesn’t belong wherever he happens to be. When they were younger, all the things Mike had were things he’d share freely. Video games. Potato chips and soda. Tickets to the amusement park. Now that they’re older, he can’t share all the opportunities he’s gonna get that Will won’t. 

 

Will could be jealous. He is jealous a lot of the time. But there’s also a lingering pity. Because Mike probably won’t ever look deep enough to reckon with the parts of himself he hides. That would be hard and Mike doesn’t have to work for anything else, so why would he start there?

 

“You apparently don’t know me anymore, because pretty much all I do is get high and fuck Billy.” Will snaps. Anger feels better than dejection. “If you don’t have my back, that’s fine. But don’t get all preachy about it. I don’t even know how many times I told your mom you were at my house when you were god knows where trying to get your dick wet. Like. What the fuck ever.”

 

“That’s not—”

 

“Oh it’s not the same?” Will crosses his arms. He leans back against the booth and he waits.

 

Mike just kind of stares at him for a minute. Will doesn’t budge underneath the weight of his gaze. 

 

He’s not scared of Mike Wheeler. What does Mike even have left to take away from him? So what if the worst case scenario happened and he told people about Billy? What would it even matter. They’ve got a few more months of high school. Will wouldn’t have a single friend left.  Then it would all be over. 

 

Billy’s lease is up in July. Will basically has a job lined up at the grocery store as soon as he graduates. That’s where he’s worked every summer. They pay him slightly above minimum wage, since he’s been there so long. Maybe Will sometimes wonders if he’d be able to persuade Billy to get a place together. He knows it’s a pipe dream. Everyone’s gotta have fantasies to get them through the day.

 

“What time would you guys be leaving.” Mike grabs a slice of pizza and shoves it in his mouth, not making eye contact.

 

“Right after school Friday. I’d be back Sunday afternoon. I figured a two day long d&d campaign wouldn’t exactly be a stretch of the imagination. I’ve stayed at your place entire weekends before.”

 

“Yeah. I guess you have.” Mike’s still looking down at the table.

 

“I mean, my mom’s probably not even gonna check up on me other than a text. You won’t have to do shit besides throw a blanket on the basement couch and tell your mom I’m staying over if she asks. She barely comes downstairs anyway.”

 

Mike drains the last of his soda. Picks at a piece of pineapple.

 

“OK.”

 

“OK?”

 

“You owe me,” he grumbles.

 

“I do. Thanks, man.”

Chapter 4: Afraid Of The Dark

Summary:

Happy Stranger Things day.

 

It’s about a three and a half hour drive from Hawkins to the lake house. Billy has made so many playlists. He also lights up a joint once they get on the freeway—which should probably make Will nervous? But instead he’s just stoned and relaxed. It takes a lot to get Billy high, anyway. Like, he’s probably just a little buzzed.

 

Will likes long drives. He likes the peace of wide roads cutting through nowhere. Billy chatters a lot. He talks about the bands, and other times he’s been up to the lakehouse, and the wild rager he and Tommy threw right after graduation. Will’s pretty sure he actually heard stories about that one. Like. Some kid broke his leg jumping off the roof. 

 

They stop at a Wendys about halfway there. Billy buys them burgers and frosties. They sit on the hood of his car to eat, even though it’s cold out. They lean against each other in the parking lot, as the sun sets. Billy kisses him. It’s quick, and it tastes like greasy bacon, and it’s perfect.

 

They get to the house at around seven. It’s on a dirt road turnoff in the middle of nowhere. Pitch dark with no streetlights and nothing but the stars overhead. 

 

It’s a big house. Two stories with a huge wrap-around porch, sitting slightly up a hill, looking out at the expanse of Lake Michigan. It’s got a slanted blue roof and wide bay windows. Honestly, it’s a little remicient of a slasher movie? But Will’s gonna try not to think about that. Besides. It’s not like there could be two gays in a horror movie. So. They’re probably safe.

 

They park close to the house and walk up, Billy carrying a case of beer and a handle of whiskey, Will carrying their two backpacks. 

 

Carol and Tommy have apparently been here since Wednesday. There are beer cans littered all over the kitchen island and the house reeks of weed. Tommy rushes up to wrap Billy in a hug the second they’re through the door. Carol also bounds over to give him a kiss on the cheek. They look much the same as they always have. Carol with her big curly hair. Tommy with all his freckles. Carol kind of side eyes Will but Tommy sticks out a hand for him to shake and introduces the both of them.

 

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” Tommy winks as he releases Will’s hand.

 

“Oh?” 

 

“Yeah. You’re like the only thing this fucker wants to talk about. He won’t shut up.”

 

“Fuck you.” Billy shoves the case of beer at Tommy’s chest. “Put this shit in the fridge.”

 

Tommy cackles. But he does put the beer away. Billy opens the whiskey and takes a shot straight from the handle. Carol wrinkles her nose and calls him gross. Billy flips her off and takes another swig.

 

They end up sprawled in the living room, beside the crackling fireplace. Tommy and Carol are sitting on the couch, while Billy and Will are on the loveseat, across the oak coffee table. They’ve got music on. All drinking from coffee mugs full of whiskey. Will and Carol’s are mixed with ginger ale. Billy and Tommy are mostly reminiscing about the good old days, while Carol occasionally jumps in to argue, or correct them. Will feels light and happy, curled against Billy. Like. Billy has his arm around Will’s shoulders. Keeps squeezing him. Pausing to lean over and kiss the top of his head. It’s really gay. The sort of affectionate Will figured that Billy would only ever be in the privacy of his own bedroom.

 

At around midnight, Carol announces she’s tired and she drags Tommy off the couch with her, up the stairs towards the bedroom. Billy lights up a joint. They share it. Not saying much. Just cuddling in the warm glow of the fire. It feels like a hazy daydream. 

 

It’s even better when Billy pulls Will into his lap. Will straddles Billy’s thighs. They kiss, slow and deep. It makes Will tingle all over. Already getting hard. It never takes much with Billy. It’s not like Will’s had a lot of other experience. But he’s pretty sure that anyone else would have a hard time measuring up. 

 

Billy grabs Will’s ass and squeezes. He’s been fingerfucking Will a lot lately. Rutting between his thighs. Pressing right up against his hole. At this point, Will’s not even sure why he’s holding out anymore. He’s high, and happy, and so goddamn horny. 

 

“Want it,” Will whispers. Pressing closer, grinding against Billy’s stomach. 

 

“Yeah?” Billy’s breath hitches. 

 

“Want you to fuck me.”

 

“Shit.”

 

Billy wraps his arms around Will’s waist and stands up. Will giggles, clings to Billy’s shoulders as he’s carried down the hall. Billy pushes the door open and sets Will on the bed. It’s dark. Just moonlight streaming through the window. The air is cold, makes Will’s skin prickle as he strips out of his clothes. He shivers. Pulls back the comforter and climbs underneath it. Billy chuckles. He turns on the electric heater in the corner before undressing himself. 

 

He grabs his backpack and pulls out a tube of lube. He gets into bed, under the blanket with Will. Spreads out on top of him, kissing him. It’s deep and dirty. They rock together. The slide of naked skin is overwhelming. It makes Will so needy. He can’t keep from whining into Billy’s mouth. 

 

“Yeah, baby. I got you.” Billy murmurs. 

 

He kisses Will’s neck. Then down his chest, pausing to lick and pinch his nipples. It makes Will squirm. It makes his dick twitch. Billy mouths at his hip bone. Bites a little. Then his lips stretch around Will’s cock and it’s pure heaven. 

 

“Oh—Billy—I can’t—I’m gonna…”

 

Billy pauses. Pulls back, just barely flicking his tongue across the head of Will’s cock. “Not quite yet. Wanna feel you.”

 

He flips Will over so easily. Will spreads his legs. Billy sits up and the blankets slide back. Will’s too distracted to mind the rush of cool air. Billy’s slick fingers are rubbing against his hole. Will relaxes easily. The pads of Billy’s fingers start to catch, dip down into him. One feels good. Two is a little bit of a stretch. Will loves it. He pushes back on it. Billy nudges the sweet spot and it makes Will gasp. 

 

“Yeah,” Billy breathes. “You’re so hot. Love the little noises you make.”

 

Will never knows how to respond to those sorts of comments. Doesn’t seem like Billy expects him to. He just keeps teasing Will’s prostate. Pumping his fingers in and out. He gets three in. Uses so much lube. Will’s so wet. He can feel it running down to his balls. He moans into a pillow. 

 

“Think you should be on top, baby,” Billy sounds strained. “We can go as slow as you need to.”

 

“OK.” Will mumbles. Billy’s fingers are gone. He flops down on his back.

 

Will feels a little shaky as he swings a leg over Billy’s hips. He holds the base of Billy’s dick steady and lines it up. For a second, it seems like it might not fit. But then the head pops in. It’s a sharp shock of pain. Will squeaks. Billy’s hands are on his waist. Squeezing him. Supporting him. 

 

“Holy fuck.” Billy gasps. “So tight, sweetheart. God damn . You—you OK?”

 

“I think so?” Will’s voice has raised half an octave. 

 

He’s already adjusting. The initial discomfort softening. It’s a stretch. It stings. Not badly though. He slides down a little further. Then further. Then Billy’s all the way in. The burn of it twists with lust, and the beginning sparks of pleasure. 

 

Will rolls his hips and moans. It’s so much. He’s so full. There’s no comparable sensation. It’s odd, and thrilling, and he wants more. So he braces his hands on Billy’s thighs, leaning back a little, and he starts to move. Billy stays still, letting him set the pace. It’s. Pretty awesome. 

 

It’s even better when Will picks up some speed. When he’s actually fucking himself on Billy’s dick. Every thrust sends a shock of heat through him. His cock is leaking. He’s moaning way too loudly. 

 

“Hell yeah, baby. Ride it.” Billy smacks Will on the ass.

 

“Feels so good,” Will whimpers. It’s almost like he’s coming. He’s not yet. Maybe he is? The tip of his dick is shiny. It’s kinda like that time he took ecstasy?

 

Billy starts to thrust up into him. He pulls Will down on his cock, fucking into him even deeper. He’s murmuring all sorts of filth. Yeah, take my fuckin’ dick, you’re perfect for it. Such a tight little ass. You love this, huh?

 

“Can I—on your hands and knees?” Billy’s eyes are wide and he’s panting. The usual loose ponytail has fallen out. His hair is spread across the pillow. He looks wrecked. 

 

Will finds himself nodding. Billy lifts him up. Will ends up with his face in the pillows again. Ass in the air. Bracing his forearms against the mattress. Billy slides into him, grip firm on his hips. 

 

Then it’s a blur. 

 

Billy fucks him fast and deep. Their skin slaps together. There’s a slick noise every time Billy slides into him. Will is wailing. It’s barely muffled by the pillow. It hurts a little and Will loves it. The burn makes everything more intense. Billy gets a hand around his dick and starts stroking it. 

 

“C’mon sweetheart. Come for me.”

 

That’s all it takes. 

 

Will falls apart utterly. Comes so hard he stops breathing. His whole body jerks. He squeezes down around Billy’s cock. And Billy doesn’t stop. He keeps rutting into Will all the way through it, swearing under his breath. Then he goes still, just as the aftershocks have tapered off. 

 

Billy pulls out. Will collapses. Billy reaches for the box of tissues on the bedside table. Wipes his dick off. Cleans will up a little too. Then he flops down on his back. Will cuddles against him. They’re both breathing heavy. 

 

“We should do that again. A lot.” Will giggles. He can’t help it. He’s so spun out. 

 

“Oh, we’re gonna.” Billy rolls onto his side, pulls Will into a kiss. “Christ. Wanna be in you all the time, baby.”

 

“Mmm… yeah. That sounds nice.”

 

Will knows he should probably like. Actually clean up. But he’s so warm and sleepy. He’s relaxed. Satiated. He drifts off with Billy kissing him on the forehead and holding him close. 

 

***

 

Will wakes up soft and lazy. There’s sunlight streaming in the window. He’s nestled into a heap of blankets. Billy isn’t there next to him. But he can hear voices through the cracked open door. Maybe that’s what woke him. Billy getting out of bed. 

 

“Hey there stud,” Tommy laughs. 

 

“G’morning to you too, shithead.”

 

“Have a fun night? Could hear you on the other side of the house.”

 

“Oh whatever. Like you haven’t made me listen to you and Carol fuck literal hundreds of times.”

 

“Not complaining. It was hot.”

 

Will flushes. Curls further underneath the blankets. He didn’t mean to be loud. He didn’t think the sound would carry that far. God. How is he going to look any of them in them eye?

 

There are clattering sounds. Maybe pots and pans. Billy likes to cook. He makes dinner for them usually at least a couple times a week. 

 

“So what’s the plan for today? We all getting in the hot tub?”

 

“Uh…” Billy pauses for a long moment. “Yeah. Maybe. I don’t think Will’s like—down. Though. I mean. I don’t think he’s into chicks.”

 

Will blinks. What would that have to do with anything?

 

“That’s fine. Carol said he’s too young for her anyway.”

 

“You’re cute and all, but I don’t know if we should just assume Will wants to fuck you either.”

 

“Well yeah. Nobody’s forcing anything on him. And if he’s not into it, then y’know. It could be like with Patrick. He could just watch. Or I’ll watch you fuck him first.”

 

“Look.” Billy snaps a little. “I told you before we came up here. He’s super vanilla. I think it would freak him out.”

 

“You said you’d ask him. Did you?”

 

“Well… no.”

 

“Billllyyy.”

 

“I don’t want to ask him, OK? I’ve been his first everything. He’s never even kissed anyone else, my dude.”

 

“Well I think you’re being selfish. Maybe he’s a slut just waiting to break out of his shell.”

 

“Fine. You ask him, then.”

 

Will’s head is spinning. Tommy wants to fuck him? Billy and Tommy have group sex on a semi-regular basis? Like. Billy’s never said anything about being exclusive. But they spend so much time together. Will just kind of assumed there wasn’t anyone else around. He just. 

 

His chest hurts. 

 

“Come on, man.” Billy sounds even more annoyed than before. “Stop it.”

 

“Sorry. I miss your dick. Haven’t been fucked in ages.”

 

“You lose the strap I gave Carol?”

 

“It’s not the same. Please. Want you so bad.”

 

“You’re a goddamn banshee and Will is sleeping like right down the hall. No way in hell I’m waking him up like that.”

 

“Why do you even care?”

 

“Just. Calm down. Go take a shower or something, Jesus.”

 

“Ugh. You’re no fun.”

 

Whatever was happening. It does seem to stop. Will hears the sliding door that leads to the porch open and shut. A pan sizzles. The smell of bacon floats down the hallway. Part of Will wants to get up. Most of him doesn’t know what to do. He feels. Set adrift in the middle of a wide ocean. 

 

Eventually, the bedroom door creaks. Will rolls onto his back. Billy is leaning against the doorframe, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants that rest low on his hips and an open flannel shirt. His hair is loose and wild. He’s smiling. 

 

“Hey, sleeping beauty.”

 

Will huffs a little. Squirms further under the covers. “It’s cold,” he says. Because he doesn’t know what else to say. 

 

“Because you’re nothing but skin and bones, baby. I made some breakfast. You can sit in my lap and I’ll keep you warm.”

 

Usually that would make him feel all fuzzy. Right now he’s not so sure. He still gets out of bed, pulling on a sweater and some jeans. He follows Billy to the kitchen. The island's counter is cleared off. There are two plates of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Two steaming mugs of coffee. It should be sweet. Will wants to think it’s romantic and not manipulative. He doesn’t know what he actually thinks. 

 

Billy sits on a stool and pats his thigh. Will allows himself to be pulled into Billy’s lap, even if it makes eating awkward. Billy’s body heat is nice curled around him. 

 

They don’t talk much. Billy keeps one arm wrapped around Will. So he’s slow getting at the pancakes. Will eats too fast and then just sits there sipping his coffee. 

 

“What do you wanna do today?” Billy nuzzles against his neck. “I know it’s cold but, we could go hiking. Tommy also brought some shrooms and some Molly. Not sure if you’re into that. But could be fun.”

 

Will thinks about it. He does like rolling. He’s not sure it’s a good idea, considering all the shit he just heard. 

 

“Probably just drinking. If that’s OK.”

 

“Totally fine, sweetheart. Last time I tripped was honestly kind of a shitshow. So I was probably gonna sit this one out anyway.”

 

Billy finishes eating. Will says he’s going to take a shower. Billy follows him. They grab clothes from their room, and Will doesn’t miss Billy also grabbing the lube. It sends a pulse of heat through him. Even if he still feels a bit untethered. 

 

He does trust that Billy won’t let Tommy fuck him if he says no. He’s not sure if Billy would still fuck Tommy in front of him, if Will said he didn’t want to participate. He probably wouldn’t watch. He’d go curl up somewhere alone and try not to cry. 

 

He doesn’t know how he’d feel about Tommy watching them. That seems like the least objectionable scenario. Probably the one he’d give into. Close his eyes and ignore it. 

 

Billy runs the water until it’s warm, puts the lube down on the edge of the tub. He undresses and he’s already half hard. Will strips too. Follows Billy into the shower. He’s hard too by the time Billy starts kissing him. 

 

Will opens up easy. He’s a little sore, but Billy’s gentle. Will ends up with his back pressed against the cool tile, legs around Billy’s waist, holding onto his shoulders. Billy’s strong. So strong, it doesn’t feel precarious being held up like this. Billy lines up and presses in. They both moan. 

 

Billy keeps a tight hold on Will’s ass and thrusts slowly. They kiss wet and sloppy. It’s not as feverish as last night. It still feels so good. Will can’t help moving with it, trying to grind on Billy’s stomach. Pushing for more. Deeper. 

 

“Love this don’t you, baby?” Billy murmurs against Will’s neck. “Gonna turn you into a cockslut, huh?” 

 

“Just for you.” Will says without thinking. Anxiety boiling over. He’s whimpering, so full of Billy’s dick, and he’s vulnerable in every other way. So why not. 

 

“Fuck.” Billy’s hips jerk. He stills for a moment. Then starts up much faster. “Yeah. Yeah you’re mine. My perfect little whore.”

 

“Don’t want anybody else.”

 

“That’s right. This tight ass is just for me.”

 

Slick noises echo on the tile. Will knows he’s being loud again. He can’t help it. Billy feels so good, and they’re pressed so close together, and like this they can kiss. And. Kissing him while they’re fucking is a lot to cope with. 

 

“Shit. Touch yourself.” Billy growls. “‘M real goddamn close.”

 

Will wraps a hand around his dick. It doesn’t take much to set him off. He’s coming hard, and loud, and Billy’s right behind him. 

 

He keeps Will pinned to the wall for a minute. Kissing him. Panting. Then he sets Will down gently. They both wash off. Billy even like. Shampoos Will’s hair. It feels so nice, having someone rub his scalp and dote on him.

 

By the time they get out, Will is all fuzzy from the sex, and the touching, and the hot water. They both put on jeans and flannels. Then they go to the living room. Tommy’s already there, stretched across the couch with a joint between his lips. Will sits on the loveseat. Billy starts a fire, grabs the whiskey, and settles down next to him. 

 

Tommy and Billy start bullshiting about people Will doesn’t know. So he just sits there and drinks. Tommy keeps glancing at him. Smiling. Will kind of shrinks closer against Billy. 

 

It’s not that Tommy’s unattractive? He’s objectively cute. Will just—got fucked for the first time literally last night. He’s not ready to branch out. 

 

Carol appears eventually. She makes a bunch of quesadillas. They all get real stoned and eat them, watching Sponegbob reruns on Tommy’s laptop. Will gets increasingly fucked up as the day drags on and the sun goes down. Billy kisses him a couple times. Never for very long. Will’s torn between how nice it feels and the fact that he knows Tommy’s watching them. 

 

Will’s phone vibrates. It’s his mom.

 

Evrythin OK?

 

Yeah! Great. You?

 

OK 2

 

Can u call?

 

God, he doesn’t want to talk on the phone right now. But he gets off the couch. He murmurs that he has to call his mom before walking down the hall, back into the bedroom and shutting the door. He hits the call button.

 

“Hey, sweetheart,” his mom doesn’t sound mad. So that’s good.

 

“Hey mom. What’s up?”

 

“Oh, nothing. Just checking in.”

 

“Cool. Well. Yeah. Everything’s good.”

 

“Great!”

 

Will’s stomach twists. He’s stoned, and drunk, and he’s pretty sure she knows . She never calls unless something is up. 

 

“You sure nothing is going on?” He chews on his lip.

 

“Nope. Just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you. I feel like I haven’t seen you a whole lot lately.”

 

“We should have a dinner party tomorrow night.”

 

“That would be very nice.”

 

Dead air. Will squirms a little. He can picture his mom’s face. Perfectly pleasant. Just smiling at him and waiting for him to crack. Like the time she found a pack of cigarettes in his bag and didn’t bring out the evidence until after talking about how he could trust her if he had questions about experimenting with cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. He felt so guilty he admitted that yeah he sometimes smoked. She didn’t yell at him. She thanked him for being honest and said she would really appreciate it, as a personal favor, if he didn’t develop a regular habit. Her father died from lung cancer. She smoked a pack a day for a lot of her teens and early twenties. She only quit once she got pregnant with Jonathan. She already has health problems from it. Will hasn’t bought a pack since.

 

“Well, I guess I should let you go. Tell Mike I say hi.”

 

“I’m not at Mike’s house.” It’s out before Will can stop himself.

 

“I suspected that might be the case.” She still doesn’t sound angry. “Where are you?”

 

“I’m… um. In Michigan.”

 

“Michigan?” Her voice does tick a little towards strained

 

“Yeah. Uh. At like a vacation house. It’s just a few people.”

 

“Mike isn’t there?”

 

“No.”

 

“Dustin, Lucas, Max…?”

 

“No.”

 

“So nobody I’ve met.”

 

“Max’s brother is here.” Will feels his face going hot. Fuck. This is a lot to admit all at once.

 

“I see. He’s your boyfriend?”

 

“Kind of.”

 

“Is anyone sober enough to drive you home tonight?”

 

“No.”

 

“You’re coming home tomorrow?”

 

“Definitely. We’ll leave real early in the morning.”

 

“Nobody is doing anything dangerous? And you’re not going to get arrested?”

 

“We’re just hanging out in the living room. I mean. Drinking a little. They’re smoking weed. But nothing crazier than that. We’re pretty far away from any neighbors, I think, so no reason the cops would show up.”

 

“You’re being safe with Billy? You’re using condoms?”

 

Well. No. Will didn’t really think about that. He assumed Billy wasn’t seeing other people. Which was apparently a mistake. But.

 

“Um.”

 

“William Bartholemew Byers!”

 

“I know. I know. He’s. He’s clean. I’ll get tested anyway. I’ll make him get tested too.”

 

“All right.” There’s a long pause. “I’m not particularly happy about you going so far away.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“Next time, I’d rather the honesty happen before you drive to another state. OK?”

 

“Yes. I promise.”

 

“I love you. I am definitely gonna have to ground you, or take your phone away or something when you get back.”

 

“I get it. I love you too, Mom.”

 

“Be safe.”

 

“I promise.”

 

She hangs up. All things considered. It could have been worse. Will takes a minute to calm down, try to slow his heart rate. Then he walks back out into the hallway. He nearly runs into Tommy—who’s coming out of the bathroom. Wearing a pair of swim trunks.

 

“Well, hey there.” Tommy smiles. “We’re getting in the hot tub.”

 

“Oh. I didn’t bring a swimsuit.” Will has the urge to step back into the bedroom and close the door. He’s anxious. He doesn’t want to deal with this. 

 

“You can borrow one of mine. Or, y’know. Just wear some boxers. Or nothing at all. Whatever vibe you’re feeling.”

 

Tommy is still standing very close. He isn’t all that tall. He and Will are the same height. But it still feels like he’s bigger. He’s definitely more muscular. Wills got a clear view of his cut abs and thick biceps. 

 

“I might just—uh—not.”

 

“Billy’s already out there. So’s Carol.”

 

The fight or flight instincts are setting in hard. He and Tommy are alone. Why didn’t Billy try to come get him first? Did he send Tommy to get him? Did he set this up so Tommy could hit on him?

 

“Oh.” Will swallows. 

 

“You ever skinny dipped before?”

 

“No.”

 

“It’s like, a quintessential life experience, man.” Tommy steps even closer. There’s not even six inches of space between them. “I mean, I’ll do it too if that makes you more comfortable.”

 

“No, thank you.” Will wants to move but he’s frozen. Tommy’s gaze dips down to Will’s mouth then back up. 

 

“That’s a shame. You’ve got a nice body. The pictures don’t do it justice.”

 

“Pictures?” Will blinks. 

 

“I mean. Like I said. Billy doesn’t shut up about you. He can never help showing off a shiny new toy.”

 

That stings. Deep. Flavor of the month. Not anything special. Just another toy to use. Will wonders if he was clothed in the pictures Tommy’s seen. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe Billy is showing other people his nudes. 

 

He wants to shrink in on himself. He wants to disappear. 

 

Tommy leans in, closing that final distance. Will is too flustered and confused to pull away. Then Tommy’s kissing him, and he’s backed up against the wall, and he’s not sure what to do about that situation. He’s not really kissing back. Maybe he is a little. It feels good, physically. Tommy’s lips are soft, and his tongue is wide, and he’s only the second person Will’s ever made out with. It’s different. Billy’s aggressive sometimes, but he also pays attention. He’ll tone it down if Will’s not reciprocating that level of intensity. Tommy is… pushy. There’s a lot of his tounge in Will’s mouth. It’s kind of hard to think, or breathe. It’s vaguely claustrophobic.

 

“Will are you—“

 

That’s Billy’s voice. Will opens his eyes. Sees Billy standing at the end of the hallway with a strange look on his face. It’s only there for a moment. Then he’s completely blank. Just watching passively. Tommy doesn’t stop. If anything he gets more enthusiastic with an audience. He even grabs Will’s ass and squeezes. 

 

Will doesn’t like this. He pushes at Tommy’s chest to make him to back off.

 

“Don’t stop on my account.” Billy’s voice is flat. He leans one shoulder against the wall, crosses his arms, just stands there.

 

“Maybe we’re just getting ready to relocate.” Tommy grins. He rubs his thumbs along Will’s hips

 

Billy betrays nothing. He keeps a neutral expression. He’s not even looking at Will. “Go ahead, then.”

 

“You coming?”

 

Billy shrugs. “Don’t wanna intrude. I could just go back outside. I’m sure Carol would suck my dick if I asked real nice.”

 

Will wants to cry. Everything is going so wrong so fast. He can’t cope with this. 

 

“I don’t feel good.” Is what he says. Because he doesn’t. He’s definitely had too much to drink. Earlier it was light and fun. Now he’s nauseous. 

 

“Do you need some water…?” Tommy asks. Not Billy. Because Billy is still at the end of the hall. Just looking at them. 

 

Will slides away from Tommy, back still pressed against the wall. He stumbles to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. He doesn’t lock it. He just. Slides down to the floor. He leans against the side of the bathtub. Head resting on his outstretched arm. Legs curled against his chest. He hurts all over. The emotional distress has bled over into actual discomfort. 

 

There’s a knock on the door. Tommy’s asking if he’s OK. Will says he’s fine. Don’t come in.

 

He must fall asleep there. He wakes up some indeterminate amount of time later. He’s lying in a bed, under the blankets, fully clothed besides his shoes. There’s nobody in the bed with him. He hears high-pitched moaning upstairs. 

 

He cries himself back to sleep.

Chapter 5: Growing Up

Summary:

TW: referenced suicidal ideation and child abuse.

Billy doesn’t say a whole lot in the morning. When Will wakes up at around seven, Billy’s already drinking coffee at the kitchen island. All their stuff is packed up. He made them egg sandwiches on english muffins. They eat in silence. They leave without saying goodbye.

 

Since Billy’s driving, he picked the music. It’s loud for so early in the morning. Will still recognizes some of it. The Misfits. 

 

Point me to the sky above. I can’t get there on my own. Walk me to the graveyard. Dig up her bones. 

 

Will is almost drifting off to sleep again before Billy actually says something.

 

“Sorry you got sick last night. I shouldn’t have let you drink so much.”

 

“I mean. It’s fine. It was my fault.”

 

“Yeah. Well. Sorry.”

 

Twenty miles pass. Billy’s driving too fast. 

 

“Tommy asked for your number. He’s not in Hawkins a lot. But y’know. I can give it to him. If you want.”

 

“No.”

 

“No? I’m sure he’d smoke you down. Hell. Probably give you whatever you want.”

 

“I don’t want to hang out with Tommy.” Will turns towards the window, stomach twisting.

“It looked like you two were having fun last night.”

 

“I wasn’t.”

 

There’s a long pause. “I mean. I know you got sick. But…”

 

“I didn’t want to kiss him.” Will’s breath hitches. His eyes are burning again. He hates this. He hates everything about this moment.

 

“Oh.” Another beat. “Shit.”

 

Billy flicks on the blinker. He crosses two lanes of traffic to take an exit that’s a quarter mile away. He pulls into a gas station. Will is crying now. Billy reaches out, puts a hand on his leg.

 

“Baby. C’mon, talk to me?”

 

“Did you fuck Carol?” Will just blurts it out. He doesn’t want to look at Billy right now. He keeps himself angled towards the window.

 

“What?”

 

“I heard her. In the middle of the night. You weren’t in bed with me. You said you were gonna ask her to blow you. So did you fuck her?”

 

“No. Like. Hell no. I don’t want to fuck Carol.”

 

“So did you fuck Tommy?”

 

“No I—“ Billy cuts himself off. He takes a few deep breaths. Almost like he’s mad? Will glances at him. Billy’s free hand is gripping the steering wheel tight. “I didn’t fuck Tommy. I slept on the couch because I was kinda pissed, OK?”

 

“Are you lying?”

 

“Why the hell would I lie?” Billy snaps.

 

“I heard you guys talking.” The sadness is starting to twist into something else. Will pushes Billy’s hand off his leg. “We like. Went up there so you guys could have sex. You guys planned for us all to have sex and just—didn’t tell me about it for some reason? Which is pretty messed up.”

 

Billy is quiet for almost a full minute. He’s just breathing. Staring straight ahead. It’s an obviously fragile tranquility. Will knows he shouldn’t push. But maybe he wants to see what happens if he does. Maybe he wants to see exactly how awful Billy can be. That would make it easier to block his number and never talk to him again.

 

“Who else are you sleeping with? I think I should be allowed to know? Like. Do I need to be worried about what you might have given me? When were you last tested?”

 

“You got nothing to worry about.” Billy sounds strained. “Listen. Whatever you heard Tommy saying. It’s not like that.”

 

“Why should I believe you? Like. I was there? You told him to ask me about a threesome.”

 

“Because I thought he wouldn’t.” Billy slams his hand down on the wheel. His voice is much too loud for the enclosed space. “Tommy’s a bitch. I figured he’d be too much of a pussy to initiate anything himself. And even if he did I just thought—I thought there was no way you’d be into it. You’d tell him and that would be it. Then I saw him all over you and I wanted to punch him in the goddamn balls. Apparently, I should have.”

 

Billy’s breathing heavy. He’s so tense. Will’s not sure if he should be afraid. Mostly, he’s reeling. No idea where the ground is. Still a tangled ball of unpleasant feelings.

 

“I honestly want to turn this car around and go kick the shit out of him. Did you tell him you didn’t want to? Because if he forced himself on you, I will actually murder him.”

 

“I… I didn’t say anything.” Will swallows. “He didn’t ask.”

 

“He’s an asshole.”

 

“He said you showed him pictures of me. Were they nudes?”

 

“Jesus Christ, Will.”

 

Billy unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car. He slams the door. Starts pacing. He lights a cigarette. Will watches him for a couple minutes. Billy doesn’t seem to be calming down. So. Will does the dumb thing and gets out of the car too. He walks right up to Billy. 

 

“Were they nudes?”

 

“No!” Billy snarls. “Why would you even ask that? What did I do to you that makes you think I’m a piece of shit.”

 

“I don’t know. A lot of stuff happened yesterday. And I don’t understand most of it. You just took my virginity and were suddenly talking about a threeway—“

 

“I wasn’t. Tommy was. God. We shouldn’t have gone. I knew it was a bad idea. I just… I wanted you to like. Meet my friends.”

 

Billy deflates. Will can see it happen. The anger just drains away. His shoulders slump. He drops the half smoked cigarette and grinds it out with his heel. They stand in silence. Will has his arms crossed, trying not to shiver in the cold. Neither of them are wearing jackets. 

 

Billy rubs a hand across his mouth. Kicks an invisible pebble, scuffing the sole of his boot across the asphalt. 

 

“I’ve never done this before.” He says to the ground.

 

“Done what?”

 

“I don’t know. Like. What’s it been. Six months? I haven’t done a thing that long. I mean. Back in Cali I fucked around a lot. And here. Y’know. It’s all married guys or weirdos who are single for a reason. Tommy’s always been with Carol. You’re… different? I don’t know.”

 

“Clearly I’ve also never done this before.” Will huffs. He’s not sure if he’s still mad. 

 

“I want to keep doing it.” Billy finally looks up. Seems a bit pained. Struggling to get the words out. “I’m having fun. I hope you are too?”

 

“Yeah,” Will sighs. “Is that um… is that it, though?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Is it just having fun? Or. You know.”

 

“I don’t.”

 

“Dating?” The panic spikes. Will feels suddenly hot and shaky, despite how pale his skin must be. “Are we dating? Can we date?”

 

Billy swallows. Blinks a few times. “You uh—want to?”

 

“Yes! Why else would I be asking?”

 

Billy nods. He steps closer. “We could. Yeah. Yes. Do we do anything different, or… ?”

 

“I think we just keep fucking and hanging out a bunch but I call you my boyfriend.” The tension starts to dissipate. Will can breathe again. 

 

“OK. That sounds good.”

 

“Good.”

 

Billy wraps his arms around Will and pulls him in close. Will hugs him back. They squeeze each other. Sway back and forth a little. Billy kisses him on the forehead. It’s dumb. 

 

“I’m cold.” Will mumbles when his hands are starting to go numb. 

 

“Yeah. Totally. Get in the car.”

 

Billy opens the door for him before getting in the driver’s side. He restarts the engine. Blasts the heat. He doesn’t put the car in gear right away. First he leans over the armrest and cups Will’s chin. The kiss is soft. 

 

They get back on the road and Will starts to thaw. 

 

***

 

Will is grounded for a week. Even on her early days, his mom doesn't get off until five. So, on Monday. Bob Newby is waiting outside school to pick Will up at three. He is inappropriately cheery, considering this is supposed to be a punishment. He asks about Will's classes, and his friends, and shows a Genuine Interest in a way that most adults don't. It's not just the surface level questions. He wants to talk to Will about the biology of sea slugs and the fact that Max is back together with Lucas again. 

 

It's Wednesday when he says, "So I heard that you have a boyfriend."

 

Will has no idea what to do with that statement. So he just stares blankly. They're at a stoplight. Bob looks back at him and smiles, eyes crinkling at the sides.

 

"I think that's really great! I have a cousin who's a lesbian that lives up in New York. She works at a theater."

 

"Oh." Will nods. This is rural Indiana. At least, Bob isn't telling him that he'll go to hell.

 

That's what Lonnie said. Faggots go to hell. They're disgusting, sorry sons of bitches. Why would they choose to be like that? They're perverted. Screwed up in the head. It would be kinder to just put them all out of their misery.

 

"What's his name?" The car rolls into motion again. Bob is nodding his head along to the music. It's some classic rock, dad station.

 

"Billy. He's Max's older brother.”

 

"So that's how you two hit it off?"

 

"Uh. Yeah, I guess. Max doesn't know. I think she'd probably murder us."

 

"Aw, come on now. I bet she'd be supportive. She's your friend!"

 

"Oh. It's not the gay thing. It's the fact that it's her brother and she hates him.'

 

"Still. I bet she'll want you to be happy. Or at least, if she's a good friend she will." 

 

"Maybe. Mike was pretty freaked out when I told him. Like. I'm surprised my mom is taking it so well."

 

"Well, your mother is a wonderful woman and she loves you very much." Bob looks a little dreamy for a moment. Like just thinking about Will's mom sends him off to somewhere sappy.

 

It's both gross and sweet?

 

"But, I know it might be hard to talk to your mother about uh... relationship things. So I did want to offer, if you ever need someone to talk to—we can keep it just between us guys. I'm happy to listen."

 

"Thanks, Bob." Will would die before taking him up on that offer. But still.

 

When they get back, Will sits at the kitchen table doing homework. Bob cooks dinner. They eat together when Will's mom gets home. They all sit together and watch TV afterwards and it's nice. Bob is really nice. 

 

Will almost wishes Bob were just his real dad. That he'd always been around. Seems like life might have been easier. But, better late than never. 

 

ughh how much longer till i can see you?

 

Haha. Like 4 days.

 

i'm suffering.

 

how am i supposed to cope with not fucking you for a whole week?

 

this is cruel and unusual punishment.

 

I miss you too :P

 

what if i snuck in your window.

 

My mom has ears like a hawk. She would absolutely wake up.

 

ughhhhhhh

 

You’ll be fine. You're gonna survive. I have faith in you.

 

I mean. I am also ridiculously horny. But I've been jerking off like 3 times a day so.

 

and you haven't been taking pics? rude.

 

can you take some for me rn? :)

 

Watching TV with my mom and Bob.

 

newby?

 

Yeah. 

 

he’s hot. 

 

OMG?!!

 

what? he is. soft daddy vibes. 

 

You’re the worst. 

 

your way hotter obv. 

 

you like hanging out with your mom huh. 

 

Yeah. Stereotypical pansy mama’s boy I guess. 

 

can’t believe you just like. told her you came to michigan with me. unprompted. 

 

Idk. She like always knows when something is up. It’s better if I’m honest? She’s not really that mad. She’s not telling me I can’t see you anymore. 

 

well yeah. that’s good. 

 

She’s stoked I have a boyfriend and so is Bob lmao. 

 

you guys are so grossly wholesome. 

 

can’t relate but it seems nice. 

 

Yeah. I mean. My dad was the worst. But it’s much better now. 

 

i’m glad it’s better. 

 

i’ll also fight ur dad just say the word. 

 

Lmfaoooo. 

 

i fought mine lol. that’s why i moved out like a month before my birthday. susan had to co-sign the lease just to get rid of me. 

 

Damn. 

 

Well I’m glad you got out of there. 

 

me too. 

 

if bob marries ur mom and then i marry u he can be my daddy for real :) 

 

Fjjssjdjdbsbh. 

 

***

 

It's been a while since the party got together for game night. It's a little weird that it's happening on a Tuesday. Like. Mike wanted to have it Monday but Will refused. Because y'know. He just got ungrounded. He wanted to spend the entire night on Billy's dick and that's exactly what he did.

 

On the drive to school Tuesday morning, Mike says he has to run a couple errands for his mom before they all meet up later, so he can't give Will a ride back to his place. If Mike had told him before he was already in the car and miles away from his house, then Will would have just biked.

 

"Can't Bob pick you up or something?" Mike asks offhanded. Like it's not twenty degrees outside. "Or I can swing by at like four and pick you up after errands."

 

"I'll figure something out." Will sighs. Mike has never been particularly respectful of anyone else’s time. Will doesn’t even know why he’s surprised at this point.

 

Max can't give him a ride because she's going to Lucas' house first. To bang. She doesn't need to say it. Dustin must have left his phone at home (again), because he doesn't answer texts about how he's getting to Mike's. He and Will don't have the same lunch period. 

 

So, By one o'clock, Will has exhausted other options beyond bothering Bob. He sends a text to Billy.

 

So this is awkward. Can you give me a ride to Mike's house after school? 

 

sure whys that awkward?

 

Everybody's gonna be there. So like. We gotta park a ways away.

 

gotcha.

 

yeah no prob.

 

Thanks :)

 

Mike says to meet at four fifteen. So, Billy picks Will up at three fifteen, and they go back to his place. To bang. Will knows he's a gross and sweaty after. His hair is all messed up from Billy grabbing it. But whatever. 

 

They run a little bit late. Like forty five minutes late. It would have been like twenty if round three hadn't started up when Will bent over mostly naked to grab one of his socks off the floor, and Billy smacked his ass, and said he was being unfairly sexy and well. Will ended up right back on the bed 

 

There are several texts and a missed call from Mike once Will gets in Billy’s car and actually checks his phone. Lots of Mike asking where he is and if he needs to get picked up. Will probably shouldn’t tell him that he was riding Billy’s dick and got distracted but he’s feeling petty. Mike doesn’t respond. Billy parks a couple blocks down and gives Will a lingering kiss before driving off. Will's nose is cold by the time he's at Mike's door. It's unlocked so he just walks right in. He wipes his feet on the matt. It doesn't look like Mrs. Wheeler is home. Her car wasn't in the driveway. Mike's little sister is probably with their grandma or something.

 

Will hears heated discussion as soon as he opens the basement door. He can't exactly parse what's going on.

 

"It took you this long to tell us? What the hell Mike?"

 

"Just. Calm down. You're yelling."

 

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

 

"Yeah, really don't tell her that." Lucas mumbles, ill advised as usual.

 

Will gets to the bottom of the stairs. Everyone is sitting clustered around the coffee table, on couches and chairs. Or well. Most everyone is sitting besides Max, who is standing over Mike with a flushed face and murder in her gaze. Dustin sees him first and just stares wide eyed.

 

"Uh... hi?" Will does not walk further into the room. He has no idea what this is about, but he gets the distinct impression he doesn't want to be a part of it.

 

Max wheels around.

 

"You." She starts to walk towards him. Will instinctively takes a step back.

 

"Uh... yeah?"

 

"You've been fucking my brother for half a year and never thought that was a thing you should mention?"

 

Well. Shit.

 

"You talked to me about him!" Her voice kicks up a couple notches. She's close now. She's almost six inches shorter than him, but god, it seems like she's twice his size. Her index finger is against his chest, pressing into his sternum. "You asked me for advice about him. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

 

"I mean. This is your reaction." Will tries not to let his voice shake. 'Why do you think I didn't say something?"

 

Max grabs a fistfull of his shirt and pulls him down to eye level. "Don't you goddamn dare, Byers. Six months. Six. Fucking. Months. Telling me about your little dates and about sucking his dick. How would you feel if I fucked Jonathan then came to tell you all about it? You're disgusting."

 

Will doesn't know what to do. He wants to push Max away so he can breathe. He knows he shouldn't.

 

“I didn’t volunteer any of that information.” Will understands it’s a bad idea before it’s even out of his mouth. In for a penny. “You kept demanding I tell you stuff and got all huffy when I didn’t want to.”

 

“Well I didn’t know why .”

 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have to give you a reason when I don’t want to talk about something?”

 

“You are not twisting this to make it my fault. I can’t believe you. I can’t. Fucking.”

 

Max is trembling. She’s gotten suspended for fighting before. She clawed up another girl’s face for spreading rumors about Max banging her stepdad. She gave Joey Henderson a black eye because Dustin overheard him bragging about how Max let him fuck her in the ass. Will is at least partially in the wrong here and if she hits him he probably deserves it. 

 

Just the idea that she might hit him is enough to put a lot of pressure on the glass jar that sits high in Will’s chest. It’s got plenty of cracks where the bad thoughts leak out. Last time it shattered was the last time Will had his court ordered monthly visitation with Lonnie. Will didn’t go to school for a week. He sat in the back room of the general store while his mom worked. Because he told her that he wanted to die. The hospital is expensive. So is a therapist. He spent a lot of time in the school counselor’s office after that. He couldn’t say exactly what happened, because he knew there would be more court stuff and had no interest in that. He stopped going to visit Lonnie. He glued the jar back together with time and patience. 

 

If Max hit him, the jar would break. 

 

But then Lucas is standing next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

 

"Max... I think maybe you should let him go... we can take a walk or something..."

 

Max lets go and shoves him back. Not too hard. He still stumbles.

 

"Never talk to me again." She snarls. Then she's taking the stairs two at a time. 

 

Lucas spares a single look for Will before following her. Whether it's guilt, or pity, or disapproval is anyone's guess. Then it's just Will, Dustin and Mike. Dustin looks like he just got hit by a Mack truck. Mike is pale.

 

"Nice going." Will's throat is tight. He's a little light headed as the hot rage boils up into his chest. Anger is insulation. Puts some distance between him and the edge. 

 

"Will I—“

 

"Promises don't mean shit now, huh?"

 

"Listen. You went to another state with Billy. You were with like, sketchy people, doing drugs in the woods. You could have been in danger. I just. I was really worried about you all last weekend, and then you were grounded, and then you obviously ditched us yesterday to hang out with him and then you were late today—“

 

"Shut up." Will snaps. "You're not worried about me. You're jealous. Just admit it. You're a shitty friend, who ditches me constantly, and now you can't stand it that I've got better things to do."

 

"That's... that's not..."

 

"I don't even like you anymore." Will can feel the venom in the words as he spits them out. He means them on a level that Mike understands perfectly. "You're not nice to me. Billy has never once ditched me. He makes an effort to spend time with me. He like. Cares about me."

 

"If he's so great than why were you hiding him from all of us?"

 

"Because of the way Max just freaked out? Because none of you actually want me to be the way I am? You all wish I was normal."

 

"That's not true!"

 

"Really. So if I was dating some other guy it would be different? You've never even had a real conversation with Billy. Why do you hate him?"

 

"He's an asshole. He's mean to Max."

 

"Like Nancy's mean to you? Like Jonathan is sometimes mean to me? He's an older sibling. Yeah. He used to be a trainwreck? But he has a job, and an apartment, and doesn't get in a bunch of fights anymore. He's pretty average, all things considered."

 

"It's not the same. He's bad news. He's like."

 

"A trash person?" Will raises his eyebrows. "I believe those were the words you used?"

 

Mike doesn’t have a response for that. He’s never been able to cope when Will throws his own bullshit back in his face. Mike doesn’t think before he talks. Will remembers all of it.

 

"Maybe we should all calm down a little…” Dustin sounds shaken. 

 

“Sure.” Will shrugs. He even laughs a little. “I’m calm. Max hates me. Lucas won’t speak to me as long as she’s mad at me. Mike’s a rat. And you seem pretty happy to just sit there, Dusty.”

 

“I’m processing. This is a lot OK? Let’s all just. Take a few deep breaths.” 

 

Will’s phone vibrates. A few times. He pulls it out, because why the hell not?

 

u ok?

 

max is blowing up my phone what happened?

 

do u need me to come get u?

 

Yes. Come back.

 

eta like 5 mins.

 

“That’s him, isn’t it?” Mike has the nerve to sound pissy. 

 

“He’s checking on me.” Will raises an eyebrow.

 

“That’s so like—possessive. He just dropped you off. Can’t you see this isn’t healthy? You spend all your time with him. He’s isolating you from your friends—”

 

“What friends.”

 

Will pockets his phone. He turns around and starts walking up the stairs.

 

“You’re leaving?” Mike calls after him.

 

Will doesn’t respond. He just walks up the stairs and out the door. He hears someone coming up behind him. He doesn’t look to see who it is. He just stands out on the porch. Shivering. He wants a cigarette, or a joint, or a beer. Something. Anything. 

 

“Hey.” There’s a hand on his shoulder. A soft squeeze. Dustin’s standing there next to him. “I… I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?” The exhaustion is starting to set in. Will hurts all over. He just wants to curl up and hide.

 

“I don’t know. Um. Not being around much. I guess?”

 

“OK.”

 

“We should hang out soon. Just us.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“It’s nice that you have a boyfriend.”

 

“Yeah. It is.”

 

Dustin stands there with him until the blue camaro pulls up. He squeezes Will’s shoulder one more time. Then Will walks down and gets in the car. Dustin goes back inside.

 

Billy drives them back to his place. Will doesn’t cry. He doesn’t say much. He just crawls into Billy’s bed. Billy curls around him. Kisses his neck. 

 

“I’m sorry, baby.”

 

“It’s whatever. Fuck all of them.”

 

Billy makes mac n cheese for dinner. They fuck slow with a lot of kissing. Will has to go home eventually. They smoke a joint in Will’s driveway when Billy drops him off. So at least Will falls asleep quick. 

 

***

 

Mike's car is outside. Will barely woke up with enough time to bike. But when he walks out onto the porch, he unlocks his bike and gets on it. He pushes off and starts down the road. 

 

Mike honks at him. Rolls down his window to call, Just get in the car Will, come on. Will pedals faster. He hears Mike’s engine rev. And of course, it doesn’t take long for Mike to catch up and start trying to talk to him through the open passenger window. 

 

“Will, I’m sorry. Can’t we talk about this?”

 

“No.”

 

“I didn’t think Max would flip out like that.”

 

“Then you’re stupid.”

 

“I really didn’t think it would be such a big deal. She’ll get over it. And doesn’t it feel better to not be keeping a secret?”

 

“Fuck off. Leave me alone.”

 

Will cuts off the road onto a narrow deer path through the woods. It’s definitely going to make him late. But he doesn’t care. 

 

He arrives to school sweaty and tired, halfway through first period.  The rest of the day doesn’t get much better. Mike keeps texting him. He has to eat lunch in the library. He keeps his head down. It’s not like anyone else is trying to talk to him.

 

The next day he gets up super early and bikes again. 

 

The day after that it’s snowing. Mike has already texted, saying he’ll pick Will up when the alarm goes off. Will responds with one word. 

 

No.

 

He texts Billy, who’s happy to come get him. He hates it when Will tries to bike in the snow. Mike pulls into the driveway just as Will is climbing into Billy’s car. 

 

“Uh…” Billy seems to hesitate, just looking at Mike, who has parked directly next to him. 

 

“I told him I didn’t want a ride. Let’s go.”

 

“OK.”

 

Billy pulls out, blasting The Freights. Mike watches them. Then he follows them. Ostensibly because they’re going to the same place. But it’s still weird. Will sinks down in his seat. Billy chews on his lip, eyes flicking up to the rear view. 

 

“Wanna really piss him off?” Billy grins. 

 

“Like. We already have. But what do you mean?”

 

They get to a stop sign. Billy leans across the armrest and pulls Will into a sloppy kiss. Of course, Will returns it. With enthusiasm. Billy is really good at kissing. It makes Will all light headed. Especially when Billy grabs a handful of his hair and tugs a little. 

 

Mike lays down on the horn behind them. Billy chuckles as he pulls away. He starts driving again. But then he takes an abrupt right into an empty road. He puts the car in park and pushes his seat back. He pats his thigh. Will doesn’t need a lot of encouragement to crawl into his lap. 

 

He arrives at school just a few minutes before the bell. Lips swollen. Hair sticking up at weird angles. Billy’s come leaking out of him, making a mess in his boxers. Perhaps the most exhilarating thing of all is getting out of Billy’s car right in front of school. People watching him wave as Billy drives away, looking all fucked out and dazed. 

 

Will doesn’t like to think about Lonnie. It’s all been uncomfortably close to the surface lately.  He remembers sitting in the cramped back seat of a messy truck. McDonald’s wrappers all over the floor. Some woman he didn’t know in the passenger seat. Yelling at Lonnie. Why’d you have to bring your fucking kid? He didn’t want to listen to her screeching voice. Or Lonnie’s harsh baritone yelling right back, calling her a slut, and a bitch, and telling her to shut her goddamn mouth. He knew he wouldn’t be allowed to tell his mom about any of it. If he did, Lonnie would hit him harder than usual. So he focused on the radio. A warbling, raspy voice. Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. The words echoed in his head. Even when he was sitting alone, in silence, in a motel parking lot.

 

He used to dream about freedom. From Lonnie. From Hawkins. From the constant, oppressive tension of trying not to stand out. Will’s always had to hide. Always tried to take up as little space as possible. He’s tired of it. 

 

Will is a faggot, and he has a boyfriend, and he likes to get fucked in the ass. Maybe he’s still a little scared of who might take issue with it. But at the very least, he’s done pretending to be something else.

Chapter 6: Let The Kids Dance

When Dustin talks about robots, it’s a little hard to follow. He asked if Will wanted to hang out, though. He said Billy could come too and that he’d skype his girlfriend in. So. He’s sitting in Dustin’s living room that’s crowded with spools of electrical wire, what looks like disassembled computers, cut up plywood and metal sheeting. 

 

Will worried it would be awkward, or that Billy and Dustin would have nothing to say to each other. But as it turns out, Billy likes mechanical stuff. He does all the work on his car. So. He’s sitting on the floor with Dustin, up to his wrists in the guts of a fighting robot. He, Dustin and Suzy are talking about the engine parts while Will fucks around, sketching.

 

The background jumble of words he doesn’t understand is kind of comforting. Especially when both Billy and Dustin sound excited about whatever rejiggering currently happening. Granted, they’re all really stoned. So that’s probably taken a bit of the edge off any lingering discomfort. But Dustin has always been pretty chill. It’s not like Billy’s ever done anything to him personally. What reason would they have to not get along?

 

Suzy doesn’t seem to have a problem with Billy. Or the fact that Billy is there with Will. Her parents are super conservative. They live in the middle of Utah. But it doesn’t seem to have rubbed off on her. 

 

“She lives!” Dusting crows as there’s a loud whirring sound.

 

Billy is grinning, sitting back as the robot turns in a circle like a roomba. It’s flat with one tall claw arm on top of it. The arm flexes as Dustin hits buttons on the controller. 

 

Will feels a curl of warmth. At least one of his friends likes Billy. Or will tolerate him. He’s known Dustin since elementary school and it would suck to lose him. 

 

They order pizza to celebrate Mrs. Claw having a fixed motor. Billy complains about the ham and pineapple on Will’s half of theirs. Calls putting fruit on a pizza an atrocity. An affront to his (one quarter) Guido Heritage. Will just smiles and points out that tomatoes are technically fruit since they grow on a vine. Which deteriorates into an argument between everybody over the difference between a fruit and a vegetable and scientific vs. practical classifications. 

 

By eight o’clock, Will is spread across Billy’s mattress. Getting fucked dizzy with Black Flag playing in the background. Or that’s what’s playing until Super Trouper by ABBA starts. Billy freezes. Looks horrified. It was on some random Spotify daily mix apparently. The laughter erupts from Will’s chest before he can stop himself. He’s giggling hysterically. 

 

And Billy’s laughing too. Collapsed on top of Will. Chuckling against Will’s neck. He starts thrusting again. But they’re both laughing so much, Billy slips out. As soon as one of them starts to calm down, the other sets it off again. 

 

Billy gets up to skip the remaining minute of the song. It goes back to Bad Brains. Billy's erection flagged a little with the interruption. They kiss again. Heated. Billy slides back into Will. It’s slower than it was before. 

 

“Feel so good, baby,” Billy murmurs. “Nothing like it.”

 

Will clutches are Billy’s broad shoulders. Rocks back against him, rubbing against his fuzzy stomach. Billy’s not cut like he was when they first started hanging out. Probably because they hang out all the time. They get stoned and eat junk food. Billy’s not spending every weekday at the gym—like he apparently used to. Billy’s still strong. He can lift Will up effortlessly. He’s just got love handles, a little more meat on his thighs, abs no longer visible under a layer of softness. Will likes it. A lot.

 

Billy kisses him, deep and overwhelming, and it’s enough to make Will come. He’s kind of a disaster like that. Even when Billy comes inside him, collapses on him, Will holds onto him. He doesn’t want to let go. He just wants to be touching all the time. Because it’s warm, and safe, and it makes him tingly all over even when he’s just gotten off. 

 

***

 

Will’s birthday is on a Saturday. When he wanders into the kitchen, drawn by the smell of bacon, Jonathan is sitting at the table, drinking coffee. 

 

It’s like. Dorky. Will still runs up to him and wraps him in a hug. Jonathan is a cool older brother. Hardly ever a dick. Low-key, he’s more of a father than Lonnie ever was. It’s always nice to see him. Even if it’s not very often anymore. 

 

Bob is cooking breakfast. Mom is sitting beside Jonathan, drinking her coffee. It all feels very warm. It’s comfortable in a way nothing else is. They all eat together. Mostly, it’s their mom asking Jonathan tons of questions about life in Minny. His job at the camera store. His freelance work for various websites. His wedding photography business. Jonathan does a lot of smiling, and nodding, and placating, like he’s supposed to. 

 

Their mom didn’t want him to move away, even if she was outwardly supportive. Nobody wanted to suggest that it was a stupid idea for Jonathan to uproot his life for a girl he met on the internet—even if they were all thinking it. On the phone, Jonathan usually sounds distant. He works a lot. He broke up with the girl he moved to Minnesota for a few months ago. Will gets the impression that Jonathan is quite depressed. He also understands that returning to Hawkins would feel like defeat. So he expects that Jonathan’s gonna stick it out for a while longer. Or maybe he’ll go somewhere else. One of the coasts. That would be good for him.

 

After breakfast, Jonathan and Will escape. They get into Jonathan’s car and Will starts giving him directions. It’s the same ritual whenever Jonathan visits. They go to take pictures of Will’s art.

 

First, they hit the bridge on high street. After the crocodile got painted over, Will replaced it with a psychedelic zebra. Next they go to the water tower out by the highway. Jonathan takes pictures from the ground, but also wants to get some closeups, so they climb up. It’s a big piece. Three scantily clad girls in with bunny heads, holding shotguns, surrounding a cowering pig in a bathrobe. Will finished it a few weeks ago. Billy had to drive him out here to do it. Definitely distracted him a lot, but was also appreciative of the final product. He took some pictures too and put them on his snap story. Next Banksy right here.

 

“So.” Jonathan says when they’re on the top planks that circle around the tower. “Billy Hargrove, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” Will mumbles. He knew it was coming. Of course, his mom must have said something. Or maybe Bob did. Or probably both of them. They at least haven’t been telling strangers about it. But a lot of the extended family seems to know. He keeps getting weird supportive Facebook messages from people he only sees at reunions. So happy for you finding a boyfriend! We support you!  His mom has two brothers and three sisters scattered across the country. He couldn’t name all of his cousins if he tried. It’s awkward. But also kind of nice? He wonders if they’d be so supportive if they saw or knew anything about Billy. Maybe it’s the sentiment that counts.

 

“How’s that going?” Jonathan raises his camera and snaps an up-close picture of one of the bunny girls. He said he’s gonna do a rural street art writeup for one of the websites he sometimes pitches to. He says Will should have a website and a portfolio. Will has, like, an Instagram. But he barely posts on that anyway.

 

“Pretty good.” Almost on cue, Will’s pocket vibrates. Billy’s pretty much the only one who texts him these days. It’s a little after one o’clock. Billy must have just woken up.

 

“He still a drinker?”

 

“Not very much. He mostly smokes weed.”

 

“He’s never hit you or anything?”

 

“Oh my god. No.”

 

“Sorry.” Jonathan shrugs, keeps snapping photos. “Older sibling duties. Also, I mean, Billy threatened to stab me with his car keys once.”

 

“Wait. Seriously?”

 

“He was obviously coked out or something and I wouldn’t give him a cigarette.” Jonathan snorts. “I was apparently in his spot . Him and Tommy always used to hang out in the far corner of the parking lot before school. He didn’t seem to care that the sunlight was doing a cool thing with the clouds and I just wanted to take a picture.” 

 

“I’m sorry?” Will can tell he’s grimacing. “He definitely doesn’t do coke anymore.”

 

“Well that’s good.” Jonathan lowers the camera. “People change. And I know he had a pretty rough situation. Glad he’s doing better now.”

 

Rough situation. That’s what people used to say about Will and Jonathan, re: Lonnie. Billy doesn’t talk about his dad. It’s a small town. Will is friends with Max and has heard all about what a piece of shit Neil is. It’s not the sort of thing you bring up.

 

Will’s pocket vibrates again.

 

happy birthday!!

 

the big 18. i can legally fuck you in all 50 states.

 

*Eyeroll*

 

speaking of, where u at? :P 

 

Hanging out with my brother. Surprise visit.

 

oooh. cool. u probably got family shit all day then.

 

Yeah. I think we’re going to dinner later. Idk. Just taking pics right now.

 

“Has Mom met him?” Jonathan takes a rip off his Juul. He got the same lecture about cigarettes as Will. Followed the letter of the request rather than the spirit.

 

“No. I mean. She’s seen him around. They haven’t like. Talked or anything.”

 

“You should invite him to dinner.”

 

“That’s gonna be awkward.”

 

“Well yeah. That’s the whole thing about introducing a partner to your family. You suffer through it.” Jonathan smiles a little. “I brought Janice home, didn’t I?’

 

“I don’t think he’s ready to handle Mom and Bob at the same time.” Will thinks about it for a second. Probably not quite long enough before he says, “I mean, I could see if he wants to hang out. I have a couple pieces on his building. We could smoke a bowl with him or something.”

 

“Sure, I’m down.”

 

“Are you gonna be weird?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I dunno. Like. You gonna threaten him or anything?”

 

Jonathan snorts. “Am I going to threaten Billy Hargrove? What timeline are we living in? I’m pretty sure he could punch my throat out the back of my neck.”

 

“Just. Don’t be weird.”

 

“OK?” 

 

Will’s phone vibrated a while ago. He opens his messages again.

 

pics of what?

 

My art. Actually probably gonna drive over to Cherry Hill to show him the new stuff in the stairwell. Do you wanna chill for a bit? Maybe smoke?

 

fuck.

 

when u getting here?

 

my place is a mess.

 

It’s really not. Unless you threw a secret rager or something last night. It’s cleaner than my house.

 

gimmie like. two hours.

 

Your apartment is fine Billy. You’re just low-key a neat freak.

 

But we’re out at the water tower. We won’t get there for like thirty mins anyway.

 

nnnghhh

 

I thought only bottoms keysmashed :O

 

shut up.

 

“Is he chill?” Jonathan’s voice breaks through the fog. Will has to shake himself a little. He always gets so absorbed in talking to Billy. He knows it must be annoying. 

 

“Uh. Yeah. He said just hit him up when we get there.”

 

“Cool.”

 

They climb down the water tower and back into Jonathan’s car. Jonathan’s got some weird indy rock on, as usual. He likes to go to garage shows. Concerts in dive bars. He buys t-shirts from bands he’s never heard of and is always excited about some new, obscure thing. Will likes listening to music with him. Even if their tastes aren’t exactly similar.

 

Will doesn’t have much taste of his own. He kind of likes basic bitch music. Like. He and Max used to sit around warbling along to Lana Del Rey and Halsey. 

 

He and Jonathan don't talk a ton in the car. Even when they used to hang out all the time, there wasn't always a lot of talking. Just, doing things at the same time in the same room. Jonathan gaming, or writing, or editing photos while Will drew or watched bullshit on TV. It's comfortable. Being able to be in silence with someone.

 

Billy's not great at silence. He's loud. If they’re not watching a show, or listening to something Billy has deemed Important, he usually fills the conversational void with stream-of-consciousness rambling. Will sometimes listens with his full attention. He sometimes just lets Billy talk. It's a different sort of relaxation. Just marinating in the steady rhythm of someone else's words. 

 

Billy's got a lot of opinions. A lot of thoughts. Some of them are kind of like. Bad Takes. His political leanings fall somewhere between anarchism and libertarian. Altruism doesn’t exist. Everyone’s looking out for them and theirs, strangers don’t matter. People should be able to work their way out of whatever shit hand they got dealt—just like Billy did. If they can’t, it’s because they’re lazy. Will doesn't agree with a lot of it and if Billy gets too far out there, Will says something. Billy changes the topic instead of conceding. Sometimes he’ll come back days or weeks later and say I never thought about it like that, maybe you’ve got a point. It works for them.

 

They pull up in front of Cherry Hill. Park in the corner of the lot reserved for visitors. Will texts Billy to let him know they've arrived, but first he shows Jonathan the art. They're standing in the stairwell, Jonathan crouched down with his face behind the camera when Billy approaches. 

 

Billy is in his freaking work clothes. Blue, pinstriped button-down shirt. Khakis. His hair is pulled back. He's got on the square-rimmed glasses he only wears when he's lost his contacts. The finishing touch is the dark navy blazer that is too short in the sleeves. Will wants to laugh at him. Ask why he didn't go full tilt and put on a tie. But it’s kind of endearing. 

 

Jonathan stands up and nods. Billy sticks out a hand.

 

"Uh, hi. I'm Billy."

 

"Jonathan." He smiles a little and grasps Billy's hand. "We went to school together.

 

"Oh? Wow. Um. Sorry. It's been awhile, I guess."

 

"No worries. I get it. I was quiet. You... tended to make an impression on people."

 

Billy doesn't seem to know how to take that. Which is fair. 

 

Like. Billy has talked sometimes about how he doesn't remember things. There are just big blank spaces in his recollection of shit that happened years ago. He says he was on a lot of drugs, and under a lot of stress, so maybe his brain just didn't catalogue things it should have. 

 

Will knows the feeling. His childhood has a lot of wide gaps. He only knows enough to understand he prefers it that way. 

 

Billy invites them up to his apartment. Of course, he cleaned. Even if the furniture is dumpy, rescued from alleyways, the carpet is clean. The kitchen is spotless. Even the shoes by the door have been arranged into neat pairs. 

 

"Uh. Do you want water? Or orange juice or...?"

 

"Beer?" Jonathan snorts.

 

Billy's shoulders relax a little. "Yeah. I got beer."

 

They end up sitting at the kitchen table. All drinking PBR. Billy smokes a cigarette, Jonathan vapes, they play a game of did you hang out with and do you remember . Will knows some of the people they're talking about. It's starkly clear that Billy and Jonathan ran in different social circles. It's awkward. But not unbearable.

 

Maybe Will cringes a little when Jonathan asks if Carol's had any more kids and if Tommy's still dealing drugs. Billy just kind of shrugs it off. Carol’s just got the one. Tommy’s doing what Tommy does. That’s thankfully the extent of it.

 

Billy gets the bong out after another round of beer. Then they're all baked, and loose, and Will can't stop smiling. Jonathan talks Billy into putting on some weird horror movie called, 'The Eyes of My Mother'. Will doesn't love horror movies. They sit on the couch together. Will in the middle. He makes it about five minutes in before he's holding Billy's hand and hiding against his shoulder.

 

Will's mom starts texting asking when they'll be home towards the end of the movie. It's time to say goodbye. Jonathan shakes Billy's hand again as they're leaving. He steps out the door and waits. Will rocks up onto his tiptoes and gives Billy a quick kiss. Or like. The quickest kiss he can manage.

 

"I'll see you tomorrow," Will murmurs.

 

"Can't wait."

 

On the drive back, Jonathan doesn't offer much. They're most of the way home before he says, "Billy seems like he's doing well."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Definitely different than I remember him."

 

"I bet."

 

"Just... y'know. Be careful. You know I'm here if you ever need anything."

 

"I do. Thanks."

 

Bob takes them all out to Applebee's for dinner. Their mom has a couple mixed drinks and won't stop telling Will that she loves him. Calling him her baby that's all grown up. It's appropriately embarrassing. All the way down to the birthday song and the brownie the server brings him.

 

It's one of the better birthdays Will's ever had.

 

***

 

It’s a Friday. Will is eating lunch in the library again. He doesn’t bother to go to the cafeteria these days. Mike leaves him alone. Which means he eats alone. It’s less embarrassing if it just looks like he’s studying or something. He’s absorbed in some article about stenciling when a chair scrapes on the floor and someone sits down across from him. He startles when he looks up and sees red hair.

 

“Hi.” Max is tense. A little flushed. He hopes he’s not about to get yelled at.

 

“Uh. Hi.”

 

“I know I’m a bitch, OK?” She just kind of blurts out. “Anger issues or whatever. Like. You also did a shitty thing. But I probably overreacted. And it sucks not talking to you. So.”

 

It’s not an I’m sorry exactly. He understands it’s the best Max can do. Probably more than she’d do for anyone else. She’s… abrasive. Mean, but in a way that’s not quite sincere. Or in a way that’s at least not motivated by an actual hatred for humanity. She’s got a short fuse. She’s still in a Rough Situation. 

 

“I miss you too.” Will offers a small smile.

 

Max slumps in her chair. She digs a pizza lunchable out of her backpack and starts eating. “So now that you’re eighteen you have to buy me a carton of cigs. You know that right?”

 

“Turkish Royals?”

 

“Obviously.”

 

“We can go to the gas station after school. If you wanna.”

 

“Yeah. Then we’re getting drunk for your birthday. Lucas and Dustin are coming over and we’re having a bonfire in my yard.”

 

“Well OK, then.” Will laughs. Of course, Max would plan a party before even talking to him.

 

He also appreciates that she had the good sense to not invite Mike. He doesn’t even really know why he’s still mad at Mike. Or rather, he does. But it’s too many reasons. It’s not about Max. Never really was. He’s just. Tired of being the nice one. He wants to be petty for once in his miserable life. 

 

Billy texts during last period.

 

am i picking u up today or u biking?

 

Actually, Max is throwing me a birthday party lol.

 

oh word. glad u guys are talking again. have fun tonite!

 

Will assumes that’s the end of it. But he gets another text while he’s in the passenger seat of Max’s car, waiting while she gets gas.

 

does that mean u and mike are chill now too?

 

Not really. 

 

Why?

 

just wondering.

 

like if he was gonna b at the party or whatever.

 

Will thinks about that for a long moment. Billy seemed quite pleased with the Mike is a bastard and I don’t talk to him anymore development. He can’t help but wonder if there’s more underneath it.

 

That’s kind of a weird question.

 

There something else you wanna ask?

 

There’s a very long lag. Will’s cracked his third beer open and the fire is roaring. Dustin and Lucas are singing along to Post Malone while Max calls them losers.

 

i guess i used to wonder if u an mike were like a thing.

 

Definitely not. 

 

cool.

 

Would you not trust me around him if we used to have a thing?

 

i would trust u.

 

i just also kno ppl get drunk and shit happens.

 

Those seem like conflicting statements.

 

im sorry. i’m stoned and havnt slept a lot the past couple days. pls have fun at ur party im being dumb.

 

“Will get off your fucking phone!” Max flops into his lap. She’s already pretty drunk. She kisses him on the cheek and then proceeds to pat his head. “I know you’re very gay but this is friend time.”

 

Will puts his phone away. Odd feelings twisting through his chest. He knows it’s probably fucked up to be a little pleased that Billy is jealous . That he worries about someone stealing Will away. It’s not like, the healthiest thing. But Will can’t help the swelly of giddiness at the idea someone likes him enough to be a little possessive.

 

He feels Max’s phone vibrate in her pocket. She rolls her eyes when she fishes it out to look at it.

 

“God, he won’t stop.”

 

“Who?” Will wrinkles his nose. Figures it’s some random guy being thirsty. He’s not even sure if Max and Lucas are currently together. Max is definitely not above talking about other dick she’s getting when they’re broken up. 

 

But Max hesitates. She looks over at Lucas. And then Dustin. Their smiles wilt for just a moment, before they notice Will staring too. Then Lucas busies himself with grabbing another beer and Dustin starts fumbling around, ostensibly looking for a new marshmallow stick because he set his previous one on fire.

 

“Um?” Will pokes Max in the leg.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Seriously, Max?”

 

“Mike is being needy. Like. I’m pretty sure he knows we’re all hanging out. Since y’know. We all told him we were busy.

 

“Oh.”

 

Will isn’t sure what else to say. He slugs down the rest of his beer. Dustin disappears inside to get more graham crackers. Lucas goes to help . Which leaves Will and Max alone.

 

“I mean. I know Mike was like, trying to talk things out with you for a while. Seems like that didn’t go anywhere.”

 

“It didn’t.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

 

Max chews on her lip. “But like… I dunno. Isn’t me freaking out why you guys got in a fight?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“So then—“

 

“Max. I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“OK.” She lets out a steadying breath. “I mean. I get it. Mike’s a douche. I know Dustin and Lucas are bummed about you guys not all hanging out anymore. But I can take him or leave him. So fuck it. He’s canceled.”

 

Will can’t help smile a little at that. The anxiety that was swelling in his chest dissipates. He’s so grateful for Max. Even if she’s mean, or bristly, or has unfair outbursts. It’s nice to know she’s in his corner. 

 

Dustin and Lucas reappear before too long. Then they’re back to fighting over the speakers and roasting marshmallows. Lucas spits whiskey into the fire to make it flare up high. Which turns into a game of what shit can we throw into the fire. Twigs. Grass. Beer cans. Max makes Will take a bunch of selfies with her and posts them on her snap story. Will gets really drunk. Giggly. They’re all wasted. Dustin passes out in the camping chair he’s sitting in. Lucas asks if he can have the couch. Max asks if Will wants to sleep over, they can share her bed and cuddle. Will says maybe. 

 

Pick me up?

 

It’s late almost two in the morning. But Billy stays up late on the weekend. The response is almost immediate. 

 

neil isn’t home right?

 

Nope. 

 

on my way then :)

 

They douse the fire. Poke Dustin awake and lead him to one of the living room couches. Will drapes a blanket over him. Lucas sits on the other couch. He’s looking at Max and smiling with half lidded eyes. Will sits next to him. Max sits in Will’s lap again, despite there being plenty of room. She kisses him on the mouth. Will laughs. He lets her he do it again. Even parts his lips when she flicks her tongue in. Her mouth is small. Softer than Billy or Tommy’s. No drag of stubble or facial hair. It doesn’t really do anything for Will. It feels nice. There’s no spark or urgency behind it.

 

“Damn.” Lucas breathes. “That’s hot.”

 

His voice is low and rough. It does send a little lurch of heat through Will’s body. He’s. Tried not to think of Lucas like that. Mostly succeeded. Lucas is so into girls. Always otherwise occupied. But they’ve had gym classes together before. Lucas has a big dick, even when he’s not hard. Sometimes Will can’t keep from thinking about it.

 

Max pulls back. Starts kissing Lucas instead. Still sitting in Will’s lap. It’s a little weird. Will watches them and isn’t sure how to feel about it. Maybe it’s a little intrusive. They have obvious chemistry. Which is probably why they’re always drawn back to each other in the end. 

 

They break apart, both breathing a little faster. Max drags her teeth across her lower lip. 

 

“OK. Now you two.”

 

Will blinks. There’s no way. He looks over at Lucas, expecting the same level of shock. He doesn’t find it. Instead, Lucas is giving him that same sleepy smile he gave Max. He leans in, cupping Will’s chin. He lets their lips brush together. Will hesitates when he feels the flick of tongue. 

 

Is a kiss cheating? Making out hot and heavy probably would qualify. It would be something. So he pulls back. 

 

“Awwww,” Max pouts. 

 

“Sorry. I uh… y’know. Billy.”

 

“Ugh. Fine.”

 

Max kisses him again. He wonders if she’s attracted to him. It’s not a thing he’d ever really considered. The fact that anyone would be attracted to him is still a newish concept. Maybe she just likes kissing. Maybe it's a weird sibling rivalry thing. Who knows. 

 

His phone vibrates before too much longer. He says goodbye to Lucas. Max walks out from with him, holding his hand. She opens the door and leans down to look at Billy. 

 

“Hey shitbird.” She says, cheery enough. 

 

“Hey snotnose.”

 

“You’d better be taking good care of William here. I love him and I’ll murder you if you’re ever mean to him.”

 

Billy snorts and rolls his eyes. 

 

“He does take good care of me.” Will knows he sounds sappy. 

 

Max straightens up. She wraps him in a hug and kisses him on the cheek. She waves as Will gets in the car. Stands outside watching them pull out and disappear down the street. 

 

“Have fun?” Billy rests his hand on Will’s thigh. 

 

“Yeah. Friends are nice.” He feels floaty and happy. But then the guilt is sudden and overwhelming. “I made out with Max. I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to. I don’t like. I mean, I’m not into girls. She just kind of. Did it.”

 

Billy is quiet for a few moments. “It’s cool.” He doesn’t sound entirely sincere. His shoulders are a little tense. 

 

“Lucas also tried to. But um. I didn’t let him.”

 

“Good.” Billy takes a few measured breaths. “I don’t need more reasons to kick that kid’s ass.”

 

“I won’t kiss Max again if you don’t want me to.”

 

Billy takes his hand off Will’s thigh to reach for a cigarette. He cracks the window and lights it. 

 

“I’m not stoked about it. Like. That’s my sister. So. Don’t love it on a couple levels. But I know you’re a flaming faggot. So if it’s just like, platonic I guess it’s fine.”

 

He blows out a few smoke clouds. Will’s still anxious. Drunk anxious, which is even more intense than the normal kind. 

 

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out. 

 

“It’s OK. I’m… glad you told me. I guess. Communication is good or whatever.”

 

Billy smokes two more cigarettes, despite it not being a super long drive. When they get out of the car, he pins Will against the door. Kisses him deep and dirty. It tastes like beer and smoke. Will’s unsteady on his feet from the booze. It’s not the only reason he throws his arms around Billy’s shoulders and holds tight. 

 

He’s hard. So is Billy. They’re grinding together already. Will moans. Can’t help himself. Billy growls. He breaks away. Grabs Will’s hand and drags him towards the staircase. They barely get through the door of Billy’s apartment before they’re on each other again. Billy’s tugging at Will’s clothes. Stripping him, grabbing at him, kissing him so hungry. It’s dark. Just a couple streetlights in the parking lot, casting a hazy glow through the uncurtained windows. 

 

Billy picks Will up and carries him over to the couch. He doesn’t drop Will on the cushions, though. Instead he sets Will down on his feet and bends him over the armrest. He spreads Will’s ass cheeks and spits. He rubs his thumb across Will’s hole, teasing him. 

 

“You want it, baby?” He coos, a little mean. Condescending in the way that makes Will shudder.

 

“Yeah,” Will whimpers, spreading his legs wider. 

 

“Tell me exactly what it is you need.”

 

“Fuck me,” Will knows he sounds pathetic. He can’t help it. 

 

“Need a dick in you, huh? You’re a slut for it.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

Billy spits some more. Pushes his finger deeper. Works it in and out. Will’s cock is leaking. He wants to touch himself but he’s trapped against the couch. He wants Billy to get on with it. He wants to be full. 

 

“Billy.”

 

“Yeah, baby?”

 

“Please.”

 

“Hmmm… is it just any dick that you want? Should I go see if the neighbors are up? Let ‘em tag team you?”

 

“No,” Will groans. 

 

“Bet Tommy would drive over here in the middle of the night for a chance to fuck this ass.”

 

“Don’t want Tommy.”

 

“Who do you want?”

 

“You.”

 

“That’s right.” Billy smacks Will’s ass cheek. “Stay like that. Don’t move.”

 

The floorboards creak as Billy walks to his room. He doesn’t make Will wait. He’s back in a minute. He squeezes some cold lube onto Will’s hole. Pumps his fingers in a couple times. 

 

Will hears the clink of a belt buckle. A zipper. The thick head of Billy’s cock presses against him and slides in. It stings. Will whimpers. Tries to relax into it. Billy doesn’t give him a lot of time to adjust. He grabs Will by the hips and fucks into him deep as he can. The sensation is overwhelming. Will’s so full. It hurts. It feels amazing. He’s overstimulated and rubbed raw already, and Billy’s just getting started. 

 

“So tight for me, sweetheart. Almost feel sorry for all the other losers who aren’t ever gonna get to feel this. Too bad I’ll break their noses if they try to touch you.”

 

Will knows that shouldn’t make him horny. He’s gasping for air. High on it. Billy’s dragging against the hot spots and making him tremble. His muscles flutter. He’s close already. 

 

“Yeah. Felt that.” Billy growls. “God. You like that idea. Bet you’re a tease on purpose because you want me to fight someone over you, huh?”

 

“I—I’m not a tease…” Will whimpers. He’s not addressing the rest of that. They’re gonna have to talk about it later but right now. He can’t. He’s way too into it.

 

“Sure you’re not. Walking around in your tight pants with this amazing ass. You want people to stare.” Billy grabs Will’s hair, makes him crane his neck back. “Used to drive me crazy when you’d come around to hang out with Max.”

 

Will’s moaning much too loudly. He starts pushing back against Billy’s thrusts, grinding on the couch. His heart is thumping in his throat. Billy feels so good. Everything about him feels so good. 

 

“Who do you belong to?” Billy snaps his hips harder. 

 

“You.”

 

“That’s right. Shit.”

 

Billy lets go of Will’s hair. Drops down to blanket his back. Kisses the side of his neck. 

 

“Come for me, sweetheart. C’mon. You’re so pretty. So perfect. I love you, baby.”

 

Will’s a goner. Absolutely lost in the sauce. Coming so hard he can’t breathe. Did Billy just—? Did he really…? 

 

“That’s it. Squeeze me so good. Fuck.”

 

Billy goes still. He straightens up, spreads Will’s ass cheeks just to look at him. Pulls out slow. Will whimpers. Billy picks him up and carries him to bed. He goes to wash off. Brings Will a glass of water. They curl up under the covers. Will is so sleepy but. 

 

“Did you say you love me?” He puts his hand on Billy’s chest to feel his heartbeat. Fast. Nervous. 

 

“Uh…” Billy might want to deny it. He hesitates. That’s enough of an admission, now that the heat of the moment has dissipated. 

 

“Love you too.” Will kisses the edge of Billy’s mouth.

Chapter 7: All I Need

As graduation gets closer, people are talking about schools all the time. Where they've applied. Where they've been accepted. Will just stays quiet. Max and Dustin know better than to talk about it in front of him. Lucas is a little oblivious. Won't shut up about how he's moving to Chicago to go to DePaul. But like, Will's happy for him. That will be good for him. Just like Stanford will be good for Dustin. And Miami University (of Ohio) will probably be good for Max.

 

Will's got his job at the grocery store lined up. He still has to go sit with the guidance counselor. Like all the seniors do.

 

He has to sit in an uncomfortable chair and look at Mrs. Beekley across her paper-strewn desk. She always looks tired. But with May approaching, she looks even more exhausted than usual. There are dark circles under her eyes and a few stains on her bright pink cardigan.

 

"So... Will. Looks like you haven't submitted any applications."

 

"Nope."

 

"You have good grades. And with your ACT score, you could get into any state school you applied to."

 

"I know."

 

"You could likely get some scholarships."

 

"I don't really know what sort of degree I'd want anyway." Will shrugs. "I like to do art. I don't think I need to take out a bunch of loans to keep doing it."

 

"Have you considered community college?"

 

"I don't know. Maybe. Kinda the same deal, though."

 

"Well. Think about it. I know it can feel like you have to do things right now. But you can always go back to school later if you change your mind. Or take a gap year. Live for a little while and then reevaluate."

 

"Thanks, Mrs. Beekly. Are we done?"

 

"Yes." She sighs.

 

Will appreciates the effort. Just like he appreciated Mr. Norton, the art teacher, offering to write him a letter of recommendation, unprompted. He talked about RISDI and other expensive east coast art schools. All nice ideas. Just. Not like. Feasible.

 

Billy gets it, at least. He doesn't ask Will about schools. He doesn't ask Will about life plans. What he wants to do five years from now. All the annoying questions like, everyone else seems to be asking. Billy is happy to just hang out.

 

With the weather getting warmer, they've been going on drives. Not to any place in particular. Just out into the forest. Sometimes they park by the quarry, even though it's too cold to swim. Sometimes they just go hang out in the middle of some empty field.

 

It feels. Free. Wide open space with blue skies above. No sounds but the waves of tall, yellow grass rippling in the wind.

 

The sunshine makes Billy's skin darker. It reflects off his hair. It makes his eyes sparkle. It dots his nose and cheeks with freckles. Will wants to count them all. Kiss every single one of them. His mom used to tell him that freckles were fairy kisses. Will is just. Very dumb and very gay. His heart's too full to cope with it.

 

"So like. You think you're gonna keep living in your mom's house after graduation?" Billy asks. They're lying down on the navajo blanket Billy always keeps in the back seat of his car. It's the middle of a Sunday afternoon. Perfect weather. All Will needs is a light jacket.

 

"I don't know. Maybe. Depends if I can find a cheap place."

 

"The uh, Cherry Hill apartments usually renew in July."

 

"Oh yeah?"

 

"I think there's a couple of units opening up. It's not like, hard to get approved. Especially if your mom cosigned. I bet you wouldn't have any trouble."

 

"I'd probably need a roommate."

 

"There's craigslist or whatever."

 

"You don't know anyone who might be looking for a roommate?"

 

Billy blinks. He’s not great at subtlety. Sometimes doesn’t get it when Will tries to ask things indirectly. Which is unfortunate, because Will doesn’t like to be direct. Sometimes he can’t be unless he’s already in process of a complete meltdown.

 

He’s been thinking about it constantly, though. It’s a big step. Will knows he’s young. But some people in Will’s class are engaged. Girls graduate pregnant, or with babies already born. In the grand scheme of things, moving in together wouldn’t be like the most extreme thing they could do.

 

So Will’s gonna press a little. He rolls on top of Billy, so they can actually look at each other. He smiles. Billy smiles back, even if he seems a bit puzzled.

 

“Paul was talking about moving away, wasn’t he?” Will raises his eyebrows.

 

“Yeah. Wants to go to Seattle or some bullshit.”

 

“So you need a roommate.”

 

“I mean. Yeah. I was probably gonna start looking for one soon, I guess.”

 

“Well. If we both need roommates at the same time. Like.” Will shrugs one shoulder. 

 

Billy just stares at him for a solid thirty seconds. Will almost wants to take it back. Wonders if somehow he just fucked everything up. Maybe it’s not that serious. Maybe he’s misread the whole situation. 

 

“You want to move in together?” Billy says it so careful. 

 

“It was just a thought.”

 

“No but like—is that—do you actually want that?”

 

“At some point. It doesn’t have to be right now. I just figured we could eventually? That’s what people do, right? People date, then they move in, and… y’know.”

 

Billy’s quiet. Uncharacteristically quiet. Will isn’t sure what to do or how to take it. He thinks about standing up, maybe going on a walk to give Billy some space. But then Billy wraps Will in a tight hug. Squeezes him. 

 

“People don’t usually want me around for that long.” Billy’s still quiet. Voice much softer than the usual brash baritone. 

 

“I like having you around.”

 

“Yeah. But. I dunno. If we lived together, I bet you’d get tired of me.”

 

“I basically live with you, already. I’m at your house pretty much every day.”

 

“It would still be different.”

 

“I know. But it’s OK. I know it’s a lot. Or too soon. Or whatever.”

 

“I mean. I’m not saying we shouldn’t.”

 

“So you’ll think about it?”

 

“Like… you should think about it. I’m super down. But. You should make sure you’re like, sure.” Billy sounds nervous. 

 

Will doesn’t blame him. He’s anxious too The spiral of possible disaster scenarios is endless.

 

When he gets too close to panic, though, Will hears Bob Newby’s voice of all things. He sees Bob’s hand on his mom’s shoulder as she’s mid sentence in a catastrophization of whatever thing she’s fixated on. What if everything goes wrong? What if I make a huge mistake? What if? What if? What if? The soft touch makes her pause and blink at him. He smiles and says, sure, Joyce. Any of that could happen. But what if everything turned out great instead?  

 

“I love you and I want to spend as much time around you as possible, basically.” Will grins. Like it’s not big deal.

 

“Oh my god, shut up.” Billy kisses him on the nose. 

 

He doesn’t usually say it back unless they’re fucking, or he’s drunk. Will doesn’t mind. He knows Billy means it.

 

***

 

It's a nice day out. So will's sitting on the bleachers. Eating his sandwich, doodling in his sketchbook. Max is sprawled out on the bench next to him. Sunglasses on, face to the sky, getting freckles because she doesn't actually tan. Will is focused on the lines of a big mech he's been drawing for dustin. He barely notices the shadow until it's cast over the paper. Someone clears their throat.

 

Will looks up and sees... Mike. Standing there. Awkward. Looking down at him. Max sits up, lowers her sunglasses and raises an eyebrow.

 

"Hi?" She asks, vaguely accusatory.

 

"Uh. Hi."

 

"What's up?"

 

"Um. I was hoping Will and I could talk."

 

Max looks at Will. Because obviously, Mike wants to talk alone. Will's been avoiding it for too long. He's gonna have to eventually. Or like, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he could just not deal with it. Graduation is looming. Maybe he'd never have to interact with Mike again.

 

But thirteen years of friendship probably deserves more than that. So Will nods. He closes his sketchbook and sets it aside. Max gets up and wanders away. Probably to go smoke a joint a ways down the field. Maybe she'll circle back and listen in because she's nosy. Will doesn't really care either way.

 

Mike sits down sideways. One leg folded. Facing Will. So, Will mirrors him. They're not making eye contact. Will picks at the sleeve of his hoodie. The silence is unbearable.

 

"So did you have something to say...?" Will asks after what's probably a few minutes, but seems much longer.

 

"I'm sorry. For telling everybody about Billy. I know that wasn't cool I shouldn't have done it."

 

"OK." Will takes a few breaths. "I don't accept your apology."

 

"What? But—like—you and Max are fine again. Everything's chill. I don't understand what you're still pissed about."

 

"Yeah." Will keeps his voice flat. "I don't really care about any of that, and it's not what you should be sorry for."

 

Will glances up. Mike looks like he’s trying for confused and hitting nervous instead. Mike knows what Will is talking about. He's always known. That's the worst part.

 

"Tell me what you should be sorry for." Will keeps picking at the stray threads on his hoodie cuff. Unraveling them. Past the point of just getting rid of the dangling ones. Actively destroying it.

 

"I—I don't know."

 

"You don't."

 

"What are you upset about?"

 

"Think real hard."

 

"Is it—is it the stuff I said about Billy? I know I was a little harsh. He just. You know. He's rough? I don't want you to get hurt—"

 

"Stop it." Will snaps. "That's not what it's about."

 

"Will. Please."

 

"Jesus. You can't even circle the topic, huh?"

 

"I just. I don't get it. You're my best friend. You haven’t talked to me in ages. Why are you ignoring me?" 

 

"Gee. Must really suck. Having your best friend avoid you and refuse to talk about why." Will snorts. 

 

Silence holds. Will’s almost itchy under the weight of it. He's done with ignoring this. If Mike wants to talk. They're gonna talk. They're gonna talk about It.

 

"We haven't actually been friends in almost a year." Will looks up. Looks Mike dead in the eye.

 

"What—we haven't—“

 

"You straight up abandoned me, dude. You left me on read. You were always ‘busy’ for months. You wouldn’t even be alone in a room with me until like, January when you figured I had a boyfriend.”

 

Mike doesn’t have a response to that. It’s all true. So what could he really say?

 

“I loved you.” Will’s chest tightens as the words leave his mouth. “I fell in love with you in like, kindergarten. I know it was obvious. Probably a little pathetic. I couldn’t help it, and you ignored it, and that was fine. Then. You begged me to touch your dick. You told me I was pretty. And you dumped me like a sack of rocks directly afterward. You broke my heart, Mike. And you didn’t even care until I found someone else.”

 

“Will… that’s not… I didn’t mean…”

 

“What did it mean, then?” Will’s not crying. He’s not backing down. He feels weirdly empty and overwhelmed at the same time.

 

“Look. We were drunk. It was just—one of those things. I wasn’t thinking.”

 

“So it meant nothing.”

 

“I’m not gay.” Mike says it so quietly. “You know I’m not.”

 

Will wants to scream what the fuck ever. Wants to tell Mike to get over himself and his stupid hangups. Wants to call him a closet case that’s too much of a coward to admit what he really is. Will’s burning up from the inside out with the unfairness of it all. Because he loved Mike. And they were best friends. And he always dreamed they’d end up together.

 

But now he doesn’t love Mike. They’re not best friends. He’s got dreams of settling down with someone else. Someone who actually wants him back.

 

“I don’t care how you identify.” Will says after too long of a pause. “It’s fine if you’re straight. It doesn’t matter. I just—think it’s really shitty to hook up with someone you ostensibly care about as a person and then ghost them. If you just told me it was a mistake the next morning, I could have lived with that. I could have lived with you never saying anything if shit was chill after the fact and we still hung out. That’s not what happened, obviously. And I’m not obligated to forgive you.”

 

Mike looks positively steamrolled. Which is fair. He doesn’t have much ground to stand on. Will’s not really giving him an offramp. Maybe he wants Mike to feel uncomfortable. Maybe Mike deserves consequences for once in his charmed life.

 

“I don’t know what to say.” Mike breaks the silence. Such a pointless comment. Why even bother?

 

“All right.” Will closes his sketchbook and stuffs it in his backpack, along with his half-eaten sandwich. “I hope you got into Perdue, like you wanted to. Good luck with finals and everything.”

 

“Uh… thanks?”

 

“Sure.” Will zips up his bag and slings it over one shoulder as he stands.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

The quiet holds for a few beats. Will thinks about his seventeenth birthday, when Lonnie called him from some woman’s phone. Will’s had Lonnie’s number blocked for a while. He’s not sure why he answered an unknown number. He was in Mike’s basement tripping shrooms. Lonnie was drunk off his ass. He might not have even known it was Will’s birthday. 

 

“Miss the shit out of you, kid. Been doing some research. We could—we could send you to a camp to get you fixed up. Help you find Jesus. Get you back on the right track. I’m gonna stop drinking. Starting tomorrow. I’m gonna stop. We can both go to church and get straightened out. You can come stay with me again. I can set up your old room. You’d like that wouldn’t you, bud?”

 

It was bizarre. Listening to Lonnie sound genuinely upset about Will’s absence. Most of the time, he didn’t seem to want Will around. He’d scream, and throw things, and call Will a useless faggot. He was always late to pick Will up for their court mandated family time. Always early to drop him off. 

 

But once Will cut off contact, Lonnie started to miss him. Shitty people are the ones who only care once they notice you’re gone.

 

That night, Will was high enough to laugh. He laughed, and laughed, and said, “Lonnie. We both know you’re never gonna quit drinking. Don’t call me again.” And he hung up.

 

Will used to worry about Billy being like Lonnie. He still worries sometimes. Billy’s got a fire simmering below the surface. He cages the urges to fight, and scream, and throw a punch when he gets upset. But it’s still there. Will can see it. He sometimes wonders if the dam will always hold. 

 

He also knows Billy makes a real effort. Billy doesn’t want to be angry, or scary, or dangerous. Billy has suffered. He understands what it’s like to wake up in hell every day for years on end and make it out the other side. A hard life doesn’t make a bad person. Billy’s far from perfect. But he’s trying . That’s more than Mike’s ever done.

 

“Goodbye, Mike.” Will actually manages a half smile. 

 

Maybe it’s not forever. Maybe one day, they’ll cross ways again and let bygones be bygones. But Mike’s moving somewhere far away for college. Realistically, they’d grow apart anyway. Mike will only be back in Hawkins on Christmas, or maybe thanksgiving, or a few years. Then his parents will retire in Florida or something, and he’ll stop coming back at all.

 

Those sorts of thoughts used to make Will despondent. He’s come to terms with it all at this point. Really, he just got left behind a little ahead of schedule. It’s not the end of the world.

 

Will walks away. Mike doesn’t follow him. That’s that.

 

***

 

Max and Lucas are dating again. Will’s not gonna put himself through the mortification if asking if he can bring a twenty-one-year old guy to senior prom. He knows he wouldn’t be allowed anyway. He figures he’ll be going alone—if he goes at all. But then Dustin is standing outside school one afternoon with a heart-shaped foil balloon and brightly decorated poster board that says Prom? He walks up to Will, hands over the balloon, and gets down on one knee. 

 

“William Byers, since my date is in Utah and yours is probably banned from school grounds, I hope you will give me the highest honor of escorting you to prom.”

 

Will can feel himself going bright pink. There are already some girls tittering. Phones out, snapping pictures. 

 

“Oh my god,” Will groans. “Get off your knees you weirdo. Like. We can go together, but Jesus this is dramatic.”

 

Dustin grins and stands up. “I’ve always wanted to ask someone. You’re lucky I didn’t go with the giant teddy bear that said ‘I couldn’t bear going to prom without you.’”

 

“I just.”

 

Billy comes with them to rent tuxes. He has a lot of opinions on color and fit. He comes into the dressing rooms and makes them model all the options like a neurotic mother. He ends up picking out both Will’s and Dustin’s tuxes. They look good. Will’s is a deep burgundy and Dustin’s is dark blue. Billy puts down the deposit on Will’s, winking and saying he’s gonna be responsible for any stains so it’s only fair. The poor older woman behind the counter looks utterly scandalized. Will apologizes to her on the way out. 

 

On prom night, Dustin presents Will with a white rose corsage. They get in a limo with Lucas and Max. They hit Lucas’ vape pen in the parking lot. Take shots from the flasks Max and Dustin brought. Will’s good and fucked up by the time they walk through the doors of the gym. It’s decorated with balloons, and gauzy drapery, and streamers. He and Dustin pose for their picture back to back with their arms crossed like a sitcom. They eat chicken cordon bleu, drink punch that’s too sweet, and dance badly to Billie Eilish. It’s all pretty dumb. It’s undoubtedly more fun with Dustin than it would have been alone. 

 

Prom King and Queen are predictable. Popular, pretty people who Will’s never talked to. He and Lucas take more hits off the vape in the bathroom. Will feels pleasantly fuzzy and loose. 

 

Wish you were here <3

 

me too babe but don’t worry i got a great rest of the evening planned ;)

 

Oh yeah??

 

it’s a surprise.

 

afterprom still at the campground?

 

I think so. 

 

wanna hit that up fr a bit it nah?

 

Either way. I just wanna be with you. 

 

gay. 

 

Shhh. I’m drunk you have to b nice to me. 

 

ur adorable.

 

The dance goes until eleven, but most people start leaving at around ten. Billy pulls into the parking lot at ten fifteen. Will maybe like, dashes across the parking lot to him. He climbs into the passenger seat and doesn’t even close the door behind him. He’s on his knees, leaning over the gearshift, and he pulls Billy into a messy kiss. Billy laughs a little, but he cups Will’s jaw and kisses him back. 

 

“Well, hello there.” Billy smiles when they break apart. 

 

“Hi.” Will bites his lip. 

 

He jumps when someone smacks the top of the car. The little surge of panic is inescapable. Did someone shitty decide they have a problem with him kissing a boy in semi public? Is there about to be a hate crime?

 

“Billy, you guys have to come to after prom or I riot.” Max only sounds like shes half joking. 

 

Will relaxes. He swings his legs down and sits properly. He does his best to look innocent. 

 

“We’ll go.” He widens his eyes a bit. “Promise. We’ll see you there.”

 

“Might need to make a pit stop on the way, but yeah, we’ll show.” Billy reaches over to squeeze Will’s hip. Will giggles. 

 

“Ugh. You guys are so gross.”

 

Will pulls the door shut. Billy revs the engine and they peel off down the road. They don’t get far. Billy turns into a dark side street just a couple miles away. They get in the back seat, and Will ends up sprawled on his back with Billy’s perfect, wet mouth around his dick. 

 

He doesn’t last long. He never does when Billy goes down on him. It feels too good. He’s weak for it. In his defense—Billy doesn’t usually take long either. 

 

Billy’s a little rough tonight. Will gets on his hands and knees and Billy just fucks his face. Hand in Will’s hair, holding him steady as Billy thrusts into his mouth. Billy pushes the edge. Makes Will gag. It’s sloppy. Drool everywhere. Will can’t breathe very well. He starts to tear up. Billy comes in his mouth with a low groan.

 

“God damn , baby.” Billy slumps back, flushed and smiling. “You’re getting so good at that. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were practicing somewhere else.”

 

“‘M not.” Will crawls into Billy’s lap. Hides his face against Billy’s neck. 

 

Billy holds him. Rubbing his back. “I know, sweetheart. You’re a good boy. My perfect little slut.”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

Will doesn’t really know why he likes being called a slut. He just. Does. He likes it when Billy says it. Maybe because Billy says it like an endearment. 

 

Once they both come down and collect themselves, they get back in the front. Billy drives them to the campground. Halfway down the road, Will can already hear music. See the flicker of a bonfire. He also sees the cop car pulled off onto the shoulder. That’s how it always is. Probably some bored deputy, listening to music and smoking cigarettes.

 

Prom night, the party is always at the campgrounds on the edge of town. The cops turn a blind eye to the drinking and general rowdiness—so long as nobody drives. Any car that pulls back out of the campground before morning is gonna get pulled over. That’s the unspoken agreement, has been for generations.

 

“Are we staying the night here?” Will asks as they pass the cruiser.

 

“Nah. I ain’t drinking anything until we leave. If they wanna breathalyze me, whatever.”

 

They pull up to the edge of the campsite. There are already rows of parked cars. Some tents set up. Some sleeping bags spread out in the open air. There’s a huge fire in the middle of the flattened dirt lot. There’s a keg. Bottles of liquor everywhere. Some people have changed out of their sparkly dresses and tuxes. Some are still rocking their full prom attire. Will didn’t bring a change of clothes. Billy’s in his usual cutoff skinny jeans and loudly patterned button-down (tonight it’s a cream-colored short-sleeved shirt with vibrant maroon alligators). His hair is up in a bun. He’s so sexy. Will can’t help himself. As soon as they’re out of the car, he’s pressed up against Billy. Arm around his waist, leaning into his chest. Billy chuckles and drapes an arm around Will’s shoulders. They sit on the hood of Billy’s car. Slightly removed from the rest of the party. But it’s not long before Max and Lucas find them. 

 

Max has a bottle of Admiral Nelson , the cheap, off-brand shit that comes in a plastic bottle. She puts it to Will’s lips and tilts it up. She feeds him several shots until he sputters and she finally pulls it away. She kisses him on the mouth. It’s just a peck. Will can’t help flushing with embarrassment. Considering what was in his mouth not half an hour ago. 

 

Lucas offers Billy his vape pen. Billy takes a couple hits and thanks him, which is progress. Billy’s still a bit tense. Will can feel it. Billy has never liked Lucas. Probably wouldn’t like anyone Max dated. That’s just how Billy is. Jealous and overprotective. Even if he’ll sometimes paint his nails and lets his hair grow long, he hasn’t escaped all the hangups of toxic masculinity. It should probably bother Will more than it does. But y’know. 

 

Dustin joins them eventually. Drunk to the point where all he does is smile and tell everyone how much he loves them. He sits on Billy’s car, wrapping Will in a half hug. Will laughs. He feels bubbly and light.

 

Sometimes Will can’t help but see things through the lense of a memory—even when they’re actively happening. He can’t help thinking, this is what I’ll look back on in twenty years. These were the good parts. Pre-nostalgia. He has to latch onto the nice things where he can get them. They’re not as few and far between as they once were. But he knows enough about the world to stockpile to pleasant experiences for cold winters and barren stretches of loneliness.

 

He doesn’t see Mike approaching until he’s gotten very close. There’s a lot of people. Will’s pretty fucked up. One minute he’s looking at Max’s sleepy grin as she talks about doing a line of Molly in the bathroom. The next, Mike is standing right beside Lucas and everyone is avoiding eye contact. Billy squeezes Will’s shoulder. His jaw is set and he’s not smiling. Mike looks disheveled. Obviously drunk. Will doesn’t know what this is about. If Mike’s just trying to insert himself into the group, or what. 

 

“Hey guys.” Mike’s words drag a little. There’s a bitter tilt to them.

 

“Hey.” Lucas is the only one who responds. Max stares daggers. Dustin hiccups. 

 

“Having a good time?”

 

“Definitely.” Lucas is looking around the group like he’s searching for a lifeline. He doesn’t find one.

 

The moment stretches out, becoming more precarious and uncomfortable. Nobody seems to know what’s happening. Maybe Mike didn’t have a plan stumbling over here. He seems a bit unsteady on his feet. 

 

“Will.” Mike jerks his head over towards the treeline. “Can I borrow you?”

 

Billy’s grip gets even tighter. Will’s chest constricts. He doesn’t want a fight to break out. If he says no, and Mike doesn’t back off, there’s no question. Billy would start something. Mike is belligerent and especially stubborn when he’s wasted. He wouldn’t care that Billy could absolutely ruin him.

 

So Will takes Billy’s hand. Squeezes it lightly before removing it from his shoulder.

 

“Yeah. Sure.”

 

It’s painfully quiet as Will stands up. He follows Mike away from the group, over towards the woods. There aren’t a ton of people so far away from the fire. It’s darker. Light dancing, casting shadows. Will almost feels like he could get swallowed up by the trees.

 

“What’s up?” Will folds his arms. He’d rather not drag this out.

 

“Well. Let’s see. Prom sucked.”

 

“OK?”

 

“You took all of our friends.” Mike scuffs his shoe in the dirt. “Max hates me apparently? So Lucas ‘isn’t supposed to’ hang out with me. And Dustin has Billy over to build robots like the one day a week he isn’t doing shit with his clubs? Like. I honestly don’t know what timeline I’m living in.”

 

The lack of pity Will feels almost spills over into anger. 

 

“So?” He shrugs. “You’ve got other friends.”

 

“Yeah but—they’re not the party. We should have all gone to prom together. We should be getting wasted in a hotel room right now.”

 

Will could point out all the times Mike ditched the party for some girl. Had better things to do. Cooler people to hang out with. But that’s a buzzkill. Billy’s not the most patient person. Even if he’s just watching them with a blank expression, it won’t be long before he walks over. Especially if either of them raises their voice. 

 

“Yeah. Well. Stuff changes. Is that all you wanted to talk about? Max hating you seems like a thing you should take up with her.” Will knows it’s disingenuous to pretend there aren’t sides and that Max didn’t choose him. But like. Mike’s never even really been that nice to Max? They aren’t close or anything. So. 

 

“We should have gone together.” Mike just kind of blurts out. His eyes are glassy and he looks halfway to pissed.

 

“What?”

 

“To prom. You went with Dustin. It should have been you and me. Like we always used to say. Matching tuxedos and shit.”

 

A rock sinks to the bottom of Will’s stomach. It’s been years since they talked about it. But when they were younger, that was the plan. They’d go stag to prom, but like, together. Matching head to toe. Just like they talked about being each other’s best men. They’d get married on the same day and wear matching suits for that too. Will liked thinking about it just being him and Mike walking down the aisle, even if Mike was probably picturing them with girls on their arms. Or maybe he wasn’t. 

 

“You could have asked me.” Will shrugs.

 

“You would have said no.”

 

“Probably. I mean. I don’t think Billy would have been stoked on that.”

 

“So Dustin is OK but I’m not?”

 

“Dustin‘s got a girlfriend? And I mean. Like you said. Those two hang out. He doesn’t know you. You’ve never talked to him.”

 

“You know it’s fucked that he’s so possessive, right?”

 

“Mike. I don’t wanna fight with you right now. I’m sorry you’re having a bad night. But I don’t really know what you want me to do about it.”

 

“Can’t we just be friends again?” 

 

The question lingers. Will isn’t sure how to address it. Or rather, he’s not sure how to say no. Mike’s not good at accepting answers he doesn’t want to hear. 

 

“I mean. That would involve you learning to get along with Billy. Can you do that?” He shifts back and forth on his feet, hugging himself a little. 

 

“If that’s what I have to do. I guess.”

 

There’s a lot of things Will could say. A lot of things he could try to get Mike to admit. He figures this might just be drunk jealousy. Emotions run rampant. Or maybe Mike really does just want the party back together. Maybe he wants to end high school the way they started it. Maybe he wants the sense of closure. 

 

It probably doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme of things. Will doesn’t hate Mike. He doesn’t love mike. He’s… still hurt, in a vague, amorphous way that seems impossible to mend. The problem is that he doesn’t really want anything from Mike. It’s just a lingering wound, that’s scabbed over but might never heal all the way. Something he’ll always be bitter about. 

 

Will unfolds his arms. He puts a hand on Mike’s shoulder and forces a smile, for the show of it more than anything. Mike relaxes visibly. Will didn’t make him apologize. Will didn’t make him admit anything. This is probably the best case scenario for him. That’s always been the condition of their friendship. Will giving up ground. What does it matter if he does it one more time and doesn’t really mean it? 

 

They walk back to the group. Will takes his place by Billy. Mike stands with Lucas and hits the vape pen. Max raises an eyebrow. But Will’s not telling Mike to leave. So she seems to take that as enough of a hint. Billy doesn’t say a whole lot. He just holds Will close, occasionally kissing him on the top of the head or rubbing his back. It’s not a perfect calm, but it’s good enough.

 

After about an hour, Billy’s ready to leave. He doesn’t say so, but he gets a little more handsy. It’s probably safe. Everyone around them is too fucked up to pay attention to what anyone else is doing. Max and Lucas wander off to dance by the fire. Dustin seems in danger of falling asleep. Mike is just standing around awkwardly, drinking from the now communal bottle of Admiral Nelson.

 

“Hey Dusty. You got a tent or something?” Billy asks pointedly.

 

“Mmm. Sleeping bag.”

 

“Looks like you might need to turn in for the night, bud. You’re fadin’.”

 

“Probably.”

 

“Do you wanna like, take custody?” It’s the first thing Billy’s said directly to Mike. Not quite a get out of here. Hell, for Billy it’s downright polite.

 

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

 

Mike helps Dustin stand up. Dustin offers the fifth or sixth I love you of the night as he’s led away. Will’s horny again, already chubbing up. He is a teenage boy, after all. Billy is definitely on the same page, judging by the fact he smacks Will’s ass as soon as he stands up.

 

“Hey!” Will wrinkles his nose.

 

“Sorry, baby. Not my fault those pants make you look real juicy.”

 

“You picked them out.”

 

Billy just shrugs. Smiling in that crooked way he does. Will wants to kiss him. Wants to fuck him right now. He wants to push Billy into the passenger’s seat and ride his dick until they’re both panting and breathless. He knows that would be pushing their luck, though. So he just gets in the car, and buckles his seatbelt, and maybe squirms a little. Billy turns the music on. Turns it up loud. It’s some punk band Will can’t differentiate at the moment. Billy cracks the window, lights a cigarette and pulls out of the camp ground. He takes a left. Which is not the way back to town.

 

“Uh, where are we going?” Will wonders if there’s any more booze. Probably somewhere. Billy doesn’t usually let him drink when the car is moving, though.

 

“Guess you’re gonna see, huh?” Billy rests his hand on Will’s thigh.

 

Will’s hot all over. More than half hard. It’s not fair. Especially when Billy’s hand creeps upward. By the time they’re on the highway, he’s rubbing the backs of his fingers against Will’s erection through the thin fabric of the slacks. Will whines. It sounds pathetic. He is pathetic.

 

“Please.”  

 

“Please what?” For a moment, it’s just Billy’s knee on the wheel as he flicks the smoldering butt of his cigarette out the window.

 

“Billy.”

 

“You already desperate enough to beg for a handjob while we’re driving? Is that it? Can’t even wait till we’re out of the car?”

 

“You didn’t say where we’re going—or how long…” Will pouts. Tries to rock against Billy’s hand, but of course Billy pulls away.

 

Billy goes back to kneading Will’s thigh. Teasing him. Keeping him all keyed up and feverish.

 

“Don’t worry, baby. You’ll survive. It ain’t that far.”

 

Will has his doubts. But they don’t pass too many exits before they turn again. They’re just a town over. Welcome to Spring Glen. Will’s been a couple times when Max or Jonathan drove him. It’s slightly bigger. They’ve got a nicer movie theater. A few more restaurants. Will isn’t exactly sure what they’re gonna do here at like, midnight.

 

He sees the sign for the Hilton. Billy pulls into the parking lot. He leans over the gearshift and kisses Will on the cheek.

 

“Oh my god. You got us a hotel room?”

 

“It’s prom night. Gotta do you right, sweetheart.”

 

Will doesn’t even know how to handle that. Billy gets out. So, Will follows. Of course, they don’t have to stop at the front desk. Billy’s already got a key. They ride the elevator up to the fourth floor. Billy grabs Will’s hand. He leads him down to the end of a hallway. Slides they key-card in the slot, pushes the door open and flicks on the lights. 

 

It’s a nice room. Nicer than anywhere Will’s ever stayed. Family vacations always involved Motel 6’s or maybe a Best Western. This looks like something out of the movies. There’s a big fluffy bed, covered in pillows. There’s thick curtains on the windows. The carpet is soft and spongy when he steps on it. The AC is blasting. It doesn’t smell like mildew, or smoke, or bleach. It smells like expensive detergent and something vaguely floral. 

 

The door swings shut. Billy picks Will up and carries him over to the bed. It’s not like. Far. But Will still giggles, and his heart flutters, because he’s a disaster or whatever. Billy tosses him into the middle of the downy comforter and flops on top of him. Billy usually has a moustache, but also hasn’t shaved the rest for several days. The scruff prickles against Will’s face and neck. He loves it. 

 

Billy kisses him. Soft, and slow, and deep. Will’s already so desperate. He can’t help clinging. Squirming underneath Billy’s weight. Trying to grind on his thigh. It makes Billy laugh. He fists a hand in Will’s hair and nips at his lip.

 

“Can I help you with something?” 

 

“You can put your dick in me.” Will sounds breathy and dazed. It has the desired effect. Catches Billy off guard. He groans and slots his leg between Will’s thighs, giving him something to rub against.

 

“Thought you were supposed to be some sort of blushing virgin on prom night. All shy and shit.”

 

“I mean. Do you want me to pretend?” Will stops squirming. He widens his eyes and lets his voice drift a little higher. “Please, be gentle. I’ve uh… I haven’t… is it gonna hurt?”

 

“I mean. That is hot. But, guess we already did that. I kinda like it when you act like a whore.”

 

“Thank god. Please fuck me. I need it so bad.”

 

Billy sits back. Will kicks off his stupid dress shoes. Billy strips off Will’s pants and underwear. Will gets his jacket off. Unbuttons his shirt. Billy flips Will over onto his stomach before he can get it off entirely. He traps Will with his arms behind his back, tangled in the white polyester shirt. 

 

Will struggles just enough to realize it’s a lost cause. Like. He could get out if he really, really wanted to. But he’s drunk, and loose, and mostly he just wants Billy inside him. So he gives up easy. Billy seems to like that. He kisses Will’s neck, nudges his legs apart. He lets go of Will’s arms, because he’s got other stuff to do, but Will stays put. He just lies there as Billy spreads his ass cheeks and teases a dry thumb against his hole. He moans when Billy spits, starts fingering him open. 

 

Billy must have had lube in his pocket or something. Because it’s not long before his fingers are slick with more than spit. He’s got a three of them in Will. Enough to sting, but not really hurt. Will’s panting. Cock leaking. He’s flushed all over. He’s maybe babbling a lot of please, need it, c’mon by the time Billy lines his dick up and sinks in. 

 

He grabs Will’s hips, jerks him back so he’s on his knees. Will’s arms are still trapped behind his back. So it’s just his face pressing into the mattress as Billy starts to move. 

 

“Fuck,” Billy groans. “Love this ass.”

 

For emphasis, Billy smacks both cheeks before grabbing them. He spreads them wide. Rubs his thumb against Will’s already stretched hole. Will all but sobs into the comforter. It feels so good. 

 

“So greedy for it.” Billy grunts. “Wonder how much more you could fit. Maybe we could get a dildo in here too, huh?”

 

“Couldn’t,” Will whimpers. He knows Billy’s probably just talking. Like. Will is a small person. It already takes some work to get Billy in. But god. The idea of being stretched that wide is a lot. Will’s dick is leaking.

 

“Sure you could, baby.” Billy snaps his hips a little harder. “Enough lube and patience, and I bet you could take just about anything. You’re such a slut for it. Love being stuffed full, don’t you?”

 

Billy keeps teasing his thumb along Will’ rim. Will can’t help rocking back against his thrusts. He feels hot, and dirty, and split open. It’s a shock of pain when Billy slips his thumb in. It makes Will dizzy. Feels like the world is falling out from underneath him. Billy doesn’t leave it in for long. Probably just a couple seconds. Just enough time to punch the breath from Will’s lungs. 

 

“Yeah,” Billy groans. “Yeah, that’s gonna be a project.”

 

Billy pulls out. He flips Will onto his side. Will’s arms are still trapped. It’s kind of uncomfortable. But he can’t deny how much he loves Billy treating him like a rag doll. Billy grabs one of his legs, holds it up. Pushes in again. Deep. He holds on tight to Will’s thigh. Palms his leaking dick. He’s staring down at Will with parted lips and an intense hunger that makes Will tingle all over.

 

“Really too bad we couldn’t go to your little dance together.” Billy licks his lips. “Would have dragged you off to fuck in the bathroom.”

 

“Yes,” Will gasps. God, it would have been so good.

 

“I mean, we could always break into the school over the summer. Have our own dance. Maybe I’ll make you come all over the basketball court.”

 

Jesus. Will is gonna have a meltdown. He’s so hard. Billy keeps rutting against the hot spot. Will wishes he had something to grab onto. But the way Billy’s thrusts keep rocking him on the bed is also Very Good. Will’s completely helpless. The same little rabbit that wandered into the wolf’s den so many months ago. 

 

Lucky for him, it turned out Billy is mostly bark. 

 

Billy actually wraps a hand around Will’s dick. It’s not a tight grip. Billy strokes him slow and kind of sloppy. But it’s more than enough. Will comes hard. Abs clenching, cock twitching, body a mess of rhythmic spasms. Billy fucks him through it. Real rough. Follows close behind him. He stays in Will for a moment even after he comes. Like he doesn’t wanna pull out. Like he just wants to stay in the heat of Will’s body forever.

 

But sadly, they do have to break apart. Billy helps Will out of his shirt. Will’s allowed to just lie there as Billy cleans up. He takes the glass of water Billy brings him from the bathroom. Gets under the covers when Billy peels them back. 

 

Billy curls around him, kissing his neck.

 

“I got a bottle of champagne in the mini-fridge. But I kinda think you’ve had enough for the night. We’ll make Mimosas in the morning or something.”

 

“That sounds nice.” Will yawns. He is very sleepy. Limbs all loose. Head foggy. 

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Love you, sweetheart.”

 

Will’s caught a bit off guard. Billy’s not even fucked up, as far as he knows. Billy’s dick isn’t actively inside him. This is new.

 

“Love you too.” Will murmurs. He’s soft and happy as the comfortable bed, and warm embrace drag him off to sleep.

Notes:

Title from the Freights song of the same name. (It's a bop, like, listen to it.)

Uhhh... there might be an epilogue? We'll see! If not, it's 3x longer than it was supposed to be so it's fine.

I'm on tumblr and stuff.