My Heart-Shaped Box

by NERV

Summary:

Wrecked again after a disastrous campaign against the Sirens, Junyou is left at port to drown in grief and memories of a past life. Meanwhile, A new officer arrives at Pacific Base. Shrouded in mystery and kicking up a storm wherever she goes, Ayana Ryoma is a problem for the hierarchy of Azur Lane.

When the two meet they find a thread of fate that seemingly ties them together. Fragments of a past-life come to pass once more. For Junyou, it begins to consume her. After all, there's just something about her new commander... Something so familiar.

Chapter 1: Bitterness Incarnate

A rotten campaign.

 

Junyou had been through enough of them to know.

 

It usually poured down from the top; a foolish directive set to inane codes of honour derived from delusions of grandeur, all forming a blind upper echelon of command, which in turn would choose an incompetent commander. Humans had their ways.

 

Actually, incompetent was too kind. Hopeless or useless was more accurate. Though the others would stutter and object over that assessment; he’s just… A little too nice , they would argue amidst sighs and shrugs. 

 

Too nice. Too kind.

 

Call it what it was.

 

Too soft.

 

And this is what it got you; disoriented and stranded in the Pacific with your supply lines cut off.

 

They mounted their first offensive against the Sirens in recent memory with a full combined fleet driving through the south Pacific towards the co-ordinates of a supposedly-verified hotbed of Siren activity. What they then found were wisps of a harrying force that had quickly out-manoeuvred them before wearing them down and cutting them adrift of reinforcements or supplies. And at the centre of it all was that little command boat; housing an out-of-his-depth commander and his staff. A focal point for the fleet’s soured morale as it whipped them further into despair with hisses of increasingly-deluded orders through restless comm lines.

 

The light carrier felt bile rise in her throat at the summation of her current predicament.

 

To provide further aggravation, she was blessed with the company of Fusou and Yamashiro in the main fleet… Words failed her.

 

Her sister, Hiyou, was at least reliable. Not yet gone soft like all the others.

 

The Pacific South base only had a small detachment of Sakura ships, and truth be told, none besides her and her sister had much of a stomach for a real fight. Too much training and pretending. Nothing enough blood and fire.

 

The comm line flared to life in her ear.

 

- Update: Siren fleet detected…

 

They were massing for an offensive, Junyou knew on instinct.

 

Finally.

 

Delivering death from above to these vermin would be sweet relief. Her hand fluttered to the hilt of her katana, sheathed at her waist. The hilt felt warm as the decorative indentations pulsed beneath her palm. Glancing over at Hiyou, she could see the anticipation flowing through her as well; her sister gave her a toothy grin as she clasped the hilt of her own katana tightly.

 

Finally.

 

On the other hand, experience tempered her rising blood-lust with the knowledge that the enemy only wanted a pitched-battle now because they had worn down their prey to the point where they believed they had an advantage. 

 

And Junyou suspected they were right. But, she thought as she bared her teeth at the horizon, they would make them pay before they retreated. Every inch given would come with dead drones and scorched steel. 

 

Kill ‘em all.

 

Her fingers twitched; sharpened nails flicking against the smooth skin of her palms. The mist of berserk was descending now, it sent an enticing surge of power spearing through her chest. She began to imagine how serene she would feel after… For days and days… 

 

- Command: All units, prepare for battle. Orders will follow, to each unit separately. Stand-by.

 

They really had a knack for demotivation, Junyou sighed as her vision cleared. She glanced around her companions as the interminable wait for orders dragged on. Fusou was looking at her, and she could see the fear; open and palpable as it poured out of the dreadnought’s eyes.

 

“Pull yourself together,” Junyou snapped. 

 

She despised this one more than any other; she couldn’t have been more ill-suited to war; always broadcasting her fear. 

 

“Have some pride,” she snarled, for what little good it would do.

 

Fusou nodded but remained silent. She turned away after a moment, her expression unchanged.

 

Yamashiro was glaring at her. A pathetic attempt at intimidation that looked all kinds of unnatural on her open face. Junyou stared back, slowly baring her teeth. The battleship tried to remain steady but her nerve was clearly lacking as her gaze began to drift downward. Junyou kept her sights trained on her, letting her anger funnel outward.

 

“Nee-san,” Hiyou murmured. “Not that I doubt your people skills, but I don’t think now is the time for one of your heart-to-hearts.”

 

Junyou pulled a face as she turned to her tormentor. She was greeted with an easy smile.

 

“Besides, there'll be no shortage of targets for your wrath shortly. Why not save some sass for them?”

 

“There’s plenty to go around,” Junyou sniped.

 

“I never doubted it. But how about you show everyone the caring sister I’ve come to love?”

 

“Oh, shut up,” the elder huffed.

 

Yamashiro began to giggle. She tried to muffle the sound with her sleeve as Junyou turned her highly-strung gaze upon her. She swung back to her sister after a moment when she heard a chuckle.

 

“I know she’s in there somewhere.” Hiyou winked; the sight was ridiculous because of the elaborate eyepatch that covered her other eye, and she knew it. It only fuelled Yamashiro’s giggles.

 

Junyou curled a retort up in her tongue, ready to fire but, in the face of her sister’s goofy expression, settled for rolling her eyes and relenting.

 

To distract herself from the wait and Hiyou’s taunts, she summoned a scout plane and launched it. Technically against command, but what did it matter at this point? They were probably all going to die anyway. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

 

She let the scout travel for a few moments and then focused, feeling the sensations of the wind against her skin as the plane glided through the air. She looked down and saw the Sakura vanguard slipping into formation as they advanced. That meant the main fleet would be receiving their orders soon. It also meant that their squad leader, Fusou ( Yes, really ), had known that the vanguard was moving, since she was privy to all orders concerning her unit, and hadn’t decided to inform her comrades.

 

Opening her eyes, Junyou considered another richly-deserved snipe at the dreadnought. 

 

- Command: Sakura main fleet, proceed on a northeast-bound course, as supplied with this transmission. Support your assigned vanguard and flank the enemy fleet. Make contact and attempt to breach enemy formation as directed.

 

Breach!

 

Junyou shook her head. On their own they would be hard-pressed just to distract them to any significant degree. And they were still clueless as to any detail of what they were up against. Apparently, that didn’t matter anymore.

 

Junyou looked up and saw Hiyou watching her. She clearly harboured the same concerns. She launched a scout plane and arrowed it towards Junyou’s own. Without words, they both knew they would have to take reconnaissance into their own hands.

 

Meanwhile, Fusou took off without gesturing for the others to follow, co-ordinates flowing into her mind alone, and apparently robbing her of the knowledge that being in command meant that you were expected to give commands .

 

Junyou turned to Hiyou and raised her eyebrows in disbelief. Her sister shrugged and then turned to follow, gesturing to a perplexed Yamashiro to come along with her.

 

 

**********

 

 

Everything that followed lurched into disaster. The sisters’ scout planes foretold as much, shot down within moments of catching sight of the Siren lines. 

 

From that point on, Junyou and Hiyou didn’t have the luxury of reconnaissance; they were wholly occupied with screening both their vanguard and the main fleet from wave after wave of Siren Blackhawks and Hunters.

 

Outmatched and overwhelmed, the Sakura vanguard barely lasted one charge, they formed a fighting-wedge that was quickly repelled and scattered. Junyou and Hiyou could do little to aid their penetration as their fighters fought tooth and nail just to hold back the onslaught of dark steel scything through the skies above. Meanwhile, Fusou and Yamashiro failed to produce any meaningful assistance, scattering shots wider and wider of the mark as panic, contagious over the comm lines, spread throughout the fleet. 

 

It wasn’t long before the remnants of their vanguard came streaming back towards them. Junyou sent out another wave of fighters and what were now suicide -bombers to cover their retreat. She was severely depleted now, with only a few squadrons of readily-summonable planes left. 

 

- Update: Siren fleet has broken through Ironblood forward lines. All ships regroup and cover the command ship-

 

The signal broke off so abruptly that Junyou guessed whatever aid they had been in the process of requesting, it wouldn’t do them any good now.

 

Good. They fucking deserved it.

 

Still, it didn’t do much for their prospects. She looked up and saw the panic contort Fusou’s face as the dreadnought turned to face her comrades. Junyou tsked loudly even as Hiyou shot her a warning glance. Further internal conflict ceased as a transmission reached each of them simultaneously.

 

“All units, this is HMS Hood. I will be taking command of the fleet from this point onward. All Royal Navy ships make a full retreat and reform into battle formation two miles south. Ironblood ships will pull back, regroup and form a fighting rear-guard. Ironblood lead-ship, confirm.”

 

The silence was tangible; the static spiked with malice.

 

“Understood.” They all heard Scharnhorst's grim utterance, accepting the request to be cannon fodder.

 

Hood wasted no time in issuing follow-up orders. Although Junyou had no love for the Royal Navy, this, at least, was a woman who knew how to command.

 

Within a minute the Sakura had received their orders: Pull back south and then angle southwest for a mile to re-join the bulk of the fleet, harrying any pursuit forces where possible.

 

The Sakura vanguard came into view as they began to fan out towards the west. Junyou could only see Ooshio, Kiyonami, Ashigura and Sendai… Of Kagerou and Myoukou, there was no sign.

 

Death has arrived.

 

And Junyou knew he wasn’t finished yet.

 

 

**************

 

 

They rendezvoused with the fleet intact, reinforcing the Eagle Union fleet on the eastern flank of the hastily drawn-up Navy centre.

 

The comm buzzed constantly in Junyou’s ear; Hood could only access the main channel to broadcast through her radar, so everyone in the fleet heard every command, even if it didn’t concern them. Not to mention that some of the more brittle girls started to babble over open comm lines, at least until Hood snapped at them to reassert order. It was through this garbled mosaic that Junyou pieced everything together; how the commander had died (good riddance), how they were probably going to die (it had been coming), how the Ironblood were currently dying (too bad).

 

She was listening in on the arrival of the rest of the combined fleet to their battle lines, on the opposite side of the formation, when she noticed that Fusou was staring at her.

 

“What?” she snapped.

 

“Um… We… Should check our ammo.”

 

Junyou gave her a mock salute. “One shell or a hundred, you’re still not going to hit anything,” she sniped. “Any other bright ideas? Maybe you could send a prayer out over the comm for everyone. Or maybe there’s an obscure god who could help?” 

 

She heard Hiyou sigh as Fusou looked away, and knew that, not for the first time today, she had let her bubbling irritation at this whole farce get the better of her. Although, Fusou didn’t deserve any better; the crying, mumbling mess that she was.

 

“Just check,” the younger sister offered in an attempt at a calmer voice; though Junyou could hear a frazzled undertone there.

 

“Finished. I’ve got nothing.” Junyou was struggling to keep the bite out of her voice now, even for Hiyou. “Why didn’t they put you in command?”

 

Hiyou gave a weary nod before turning away. Junyou immediately regretted it, but couldn’t bring herself to fully admit it was unjust.

 

“Ironblood rear-guard approaching the rendezvous point. Siren fleet in pursuit. Requesting assistance.” It was spoken with the knowledge that no help would be forthcoming.

 

Junyou knew that this was probably the end; her rigging was dull and empty, any planes she summoned now would have to come from her wisdom cube, leaving her more drained with each launch until she collapsed. She knew that Hiyou was probably at the same point. And as for Fusou and Yamashiro… Regardless of how she felt, the simple truth was that neither had the poise to fend off any meaningful assault. As for their vanguard; Ashigara hadn’t stopped weeping since they had regrouped, torn up over Myoukou. Ooshio was trying to comfort both her and a terrified Kiyonami in vain. Only a haggard-looking Sendai carried a sense of assurance as she stood apart from the main group, watching the horizon.

 

No give in that one.

 

Still, despite their pitiful state, she didn’t want to face imminent death with her sister still frowning over her. 

 

“Hiyou…”

 

The light carrier looked up, meeting her elder sister’s gaze.

 

“I…”

 

“I know.” Hiyou smiled. It seemed so out of place here and now.

 

“Sorry.”

 

Hiyou’s eyes widened. “That’s new.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Her sister sniggered. “Don’t worry. I’ve faced death before. It’s nothing to be afraid of.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Yeah… You’re not afraid of anything.”

 

Words were caught in her throat but Junyou couldn’t force them out. She turned away, unable to offer up anything, even at this juncture.

 

“I love you for it. Everyone else does. They just don’t realise it yet,” her sister whispered.

 

She turned back to Hiyou, and as she did, she noticed something glimmer in the horizon. Against the setting sun, it looked like an arrow from the gods; lean and armour-piercing as it soared and arced majestically. 

 

She stood helpless for a moment, until she read Hiyou's name at the shell’s blazing tip.

 

Not again.

 

She screamed her sister’s name, flinging herself forward.

 

The world went white as she felt her armour split and shred.

 

I won’t just watch this time.

 

She saw a flash of Hiyou and knew that she had made the right choice.

 

 

**********

 

 

Azur Lane’s Pacific South base was built in a wide bay that was hidden by a high screen of cliffs to the west. Further to the southwest, the cliffs sloped up and down, cutting across the ocean in a wide swathe of coves and estuaries, forming a peninsula further to the southeast. To the northeast, the coast winded out from the bay; a long stretch of flatlands that led to a dense forest and further dots of civilization.

 

It was to the west, where the land rose along a steep slope before coming to a fine point that towered above the naval base and scythed out into the ocean, which Junyou chose as her spot to laze, away from the hustle and bustle of port. Her headrest was a Sakura-style pillar-like grave that had been erected for Myoukou. She hadn’t particularly liked the heavy cruiser, but she hadn't despised her, either. A rarity. Hence, why she chose her empty grave to snooze on after finishing her chores for the day; tending to the other Sakura graves, most of them equally vacant. Despite that, she had tidied and washed them all, even the ones she didn’t care for.

 

All expect one. 

 

The weeds grew around that headstone unbothered. They were free to choke the flowers that occasionally bloomed there of sunlight, for what little that mattered.

 

Junyou sighed and looked away, as she always did. 

 

Hulked again.

 

What a life.

 

Glancing around, she took in her surroundings; the cemetery she was reclining in was cordoned off and sectioned by a low, crumbling brick wall. The Sakura and Eagle Union plots were nearest to the ocean, and markedly smaller than the Royal Navy and Ironblood resting places that stretched further inland. Other smaller factions, like Iris or Sardegna, were represented somewhere around the fringes. She found it kind of funny how each group had their own self-styled grave-marker. As if it mattered, as if any of the dead cared or really understood the gesture. To think that because she had been laid-down in Sakura, a long-forgotten homeland, she actually desired a Shinto headstone… If only the Admiralty displayed such thoughtfulness for their troops when they were actually alive. She laughed aloud. It was the grim reality that was what made it so fucking hilarious, she decided. She switched her gaze and felt her anger stir as the other resident Sakura lay-about crested the slope and approached the cemetery, her white hair and tails spiking out at all angles.

 

Kaga ambled towards Junyou at a pace that spoke of never knowing, or having long-forgotten any kind of purpose.

 

“What are you doing?” she mumbled, eyeing her comrade’s prone form.

 

“What I’ve been doing my whole fucking life,” the smaller woman growled. “Doing your unfinished work for you.”

 

Kaga mumbled something incoherent in reply.

 

“What was that?” Junyou snapped.

 

“It seems disrespectful, lying there…”

 

“Yes, I’m sure that’s the kind of thing you get torn up about when you’re rotting at the bottom of the ocean. Some fucking… Thing sleeping on your hollow grave. Why not spout your sermons at someone who isn’t retarded?” she snarled.

 

Each word  that left her tongue served to stoke her anger until she felt her hands twitch with the desire to rend. If Junyou was being honest, she didn’t actually like anyone. There were just people she could put up with. But Kaga was something else; a figure who inspired maximum hatred across not just one, but two lifetimes. And when you considered the pathetic mess both of them had morphed into these days, that practically made it three.

 

Insufferable.

 

Thankfully the former-carrier strolled away.

 

“Thank you for clearing my sisters’ graves,” she murmured as she went.

 

“Sure,” Junyou muttered, glad to be rid of her.

 

She went back to her lazing, but knew that sleep would never embrace her while she had company. Still, she remained there, unwilling to get up or go home. That was, until she heard a tearing sound; weeds being ripped from soil.

 

“What are you doing!?” she screamed as she scrambled to her feet.

 

Stumbling to her feet, she dived forward and cannoned into Kaga, sending the white-haired woman sprawling onto the earth, tumbling away from the grave she had been tending.

 

“No one touches that grave! No one!” she screamed as she swayed and then half-pounced towards her fallen foe.

 

Junyou pushed herself up to her knees, pinning one of Kaga’s arms down before punching her in the face, her fist cracking against the elder woman’s jaw. The blow stunned Kaga, but she recovered quickly enough to hear the faint hiss of Junyou drawing her katana, or what was left of it; the blade had snapped three or four inches above the hilt, the blade melted, misshapen and terribly jagged. She watched as Junyou levelled it above her, her eyes gleaming; wild with malice.

 

Kaga smiled. The blade matched the wielder.

 

“Go ahead. If it works, I’ll thank you.”

 

“No one touches it,” Junyou hissed, ignoring her.

 

“Why?”

 

Junyou cast her gaze down upon her foe like thunder, but Kaga remained unmoved; passive in the face of all things.

 

Left bereft of an answer, Junyou spun the hilt in her hand and brought the pommel down, hammering it against Kaga’s jaw.

 

“That’s why,” she spat.

 

Dark blood trickled from her Kaga's lips as she smiled and looked up at her junior.

 

“There was a time when I would have already torn you apart for this.”

 

There was a dull flame in her eyes, sparks quickly extinguishing.

 

“But that time is long past.”

 

Junyou raised her sword-hand again.

 

“I think you know what I mean.” Kaga's eyes bit into the light carrier.

 

The hilt slipped from Junyou's fingers as her arm shook involuntarily.

 

“I may be junk like you, but I’m not a coward.” Her voice trembled just like her sword-arm.

 

“Only you know the truth,” Kaga whispered.

 

My eyes aren’t dead like hers.

 

Revulsion bled deep as her fingers groped through the earth for her sword. 

 

I am not lost without Hiyou. I have been through it before.

 

Finally, they clasped it. 

 

There was someone else. I will find them again.

 

And then she allowed herself to turn and run, unable to stand the sight of the wreck below her.

 

 

************

 

 

She lurked around the edge of port for a time, wary of prying eyes as she tried to calm herself.

 

Perhaps eager for a distraction, her curiosity was piqued as she heard a commotion emanating from nearby. She followed the sounds of raised voices and rushed feet to the shore. Moving out onto an old pier she spotted a small fleet idling in the bay, near one of the main dockyards. Junyou examined the awaiting ships and realised, with a shock, that they were new arrivals; an extremely rare sight these days. The group consisted of a battleship, a destroyer and a production-model light cruiser, which she assumed the aforementioned girls had been escorting. She watched as a member of the crew aboard the cruiser called out to the assembling harbour team on the shore. She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but judging by what was going on, she could conclude that this was an unscheduled arrival.

 

She moved off the pier and began to walk along the shore towards the group. She studied the girls accompanying the cruiser in more detail; there was a destroyer, a slight and frail-looking girl with long dark hair. Junyou pegged her for an Eagle Union. She also gauged that the battleship was another Eagle Union ship; her striking blue uniform marking her out.

 

Great. Just what we need. More of those cowboys.

 

Although neither really struck as the stereotypical Union-type. The destroyer looked like she was half-asleep, while the battleship seemed to be instinctively pulling back from the shoreline, constantly casting nervous eyes all around. 

 

The light cruiser began drifting towards a nearby pier, apparently having received permission to dock. Oddly, considering the bustle that had initially drawn her attention, there suddenly didn’t seem to be many people present; the harbour staff had now mostly dispersed from their huddled group to prepare for their guests. Others had no doubt been sent running to inform whatever resembled a command structure in the base these days of the unexpected arrival. If any of the girls besides Junyou had noticed the new arrivals, they had swiftly lost interest and drifted away. The cruiser entered a stationary hover at the end of the pier as several non-descript crew members disembarked. Junyou wandered closer, observing as much, until another figure disembarked, unfurling herself from the ship’s confines to her full height. Junyou paused; a nervousness began to creep through her, curling around her waist before slithering up her spine. She couldn’t make out any details at this distance, but there was something about this one… Without thinking, she began to move forward again. The clank of a rotten and rickety wooden beam underfoot should have startled her, but a trance seemed to have settled over the light carrier…

 

She kept walking, and the disembarked crew noticed her now, casting furtive glances in her direction. She ignored them, her eyes only heeding one point of focus; the woman was lithe and moved with a noticeable grace, her uniform marking her out as the commanding officer.

 

Closer still, and Junyou saw that she was no beauty; her face was a little too long, her brows a touch too thick and thunderous. But her features were sharply defined, and her presence seemed to leap out from her eyes… Her eyes… She was walking towards Junyou now, watching her. Only her. Junyou stopped abruptly, it felt as though her feet had been suddenly pinned in place…

 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Junyou felt an ensign grasp her arm, the callousness of his fingers brushing against the exposed skin between the sleeve and shoulder of her tunic.

 

He tried to tug her away for a moment. Distracted by the object of her attention and left without a thought to spare at the consequences of acting in the open, Junyou pulled the man back then suddenly shoved him forward and over the side of the pier. He hit the water with an almighty splash, dunked down before spluttering back to the surface. Thankfully, she had acted quickly enough that no one caught the movement; even the ensign himself seemed bewildered as he splashed around below, perhaps at his own imagined clumsiness. Junyou suddenly felt an icy shiver of exposure; if they knew she could touch a human without… Looking up, she had to suppress a shudder. Someone had noticed… 

 

“My, my. He’ll certainly remember to keep his hands to himself in the future.” Her voice pearled out, low and amused.

 

“I hope so,” Junyou murmured, her body tensing up unwillingly at the tone and waiting for more.

 

“Are you my welcoming party?” the woman asked, dropping the matter and changing tact swiftly. She was just a few paces apart now, eyes zeroed in on the light carrier.

 

Junyou stared back at her. She certainly didn’t greet like an officer. No pomp. And her eyes… Now that she was closer, Junyou could see… They were different colours, one a cold blue, while the other had a warmer aqua hue.

 

“No,” Junyou replied belatedly.

 

The woman nodded but said nothing, a thin smile protruding from her lips.

 

The ensign she had thrown into the water suddenly flopped up on the pier next to them. The woman gestured to him and a crewman from her ship swiftly helped him up out of the water and led him away. She watched them go before turning back to Junyou. It was only then that the light carrier saw the tiredness that lined the officer’s face, creasing and spilling out between her eyes and mouth.

 

“I was just curious,” Junyou continued after a moment, unsure of why she bothered.

 

There was just something … Something so… Familiar .

 

“You’re not alone.” The woman gestured to several gawking officers who had appeared, lining the shore.

 

But Junyou wasn’t interested in them. She kept their gazes locked.

 

“Yes… I suppose so. Anyway… Welcome to Pacific South.” The carrier tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.

 

None the less, it seemed to amuse the officer, and her own lips warmed up into a faint grin.

 

“It’s a welcome change. I’ve been in Greenland for…” her voice trailed as her gaze switched to look over Junyou’s shoulder as another group of officers arrived. “It looks like there are formalities that, sadly, cannot be delayed any longer.”

 

Junyou didn’t bother to look back. Instead, she focused on trying to hide her disappointment at the inevitable interruption.

 

“And with such terrible timing. Just as we were getting acquainted.” The woman turned her focus back to the light-carrier. She stepped forward, moving past her but then pausing to place a firm hand on Junyou’s shoulder. “But I’m sure there’ll be another time,” she whispered with a smile that sent a shiver up the Sakura carrier's spine.

 

 

***********

 

 

She felt detached as she returned to the Sakura dormitory, almost like a come-down; opaque shells spun through her mind, bouncing off each other and snapping before she could grasp the thoughts curled up inside. Still, she knew what she had to do even if couldn’t comprehend every reason why.

 

The Sakura dormitory was an odd sight compared to the rest of the base. It consisted of a main compound built around a central square-shaped courtyard garden. The building squared around the courtyard, separated into several rooms for the residents. A rough wooden deck separated the garden from the weathered frames of sliding doors that demarcated each resident's abode.

 

The entrance to the compound was a gateway that led into the courtyard; the well-worn frame of the gate showed the age of the dormitory through its plentiful blooming splinters and faded varnish. As Junyou walked under it, she twisted around, the phantom feeling of a hand on her shoulder making her lash out into thin air.  

 

…Don’t…

 

A whisper like a wasp buzzed past her ear. She’d never heard the whispers outside of her room before. But maybe… She looked up at the rotting wood of the gate and then shook her head clear. Without further hesitation, she entered the dorm, striding down the narrow entrance hallway. She didn’t bother circling the wooden walkways to her room on the other side of the courtyard, instead she lightly leaped off the walkway and onto one of the wider stones set into the ground to make a pathway through the pebbles and soil.

 

“H- Hel…” Fusou looked up from her gardening, startled. The greeting died in her throat as she identified her visitor.

 

Junyou saw the fear mixed with anxiety that coloured her eyes in a glance. She ignored the battleship, crossing the garden swiftly and then leaping back on the walkway. She entered her room and only loosely slid the door shut behind her in her haste. She paused momentarily, as she always did; this was the room she had shared with Hiyou. Every time she entered, she was reminded that there would never be someone waiting for her return. And there would never again be a knock at the door while she remained here. Shaking her head clear of the malaise of memory, she rushed over to a sliding-door closet set into the far wall. She opened it and let her eyes adjust to the gloom inside. Most of the shelves were empty, and seemed barer for all of their width and depth. A few Hiyou’s possessions lined one wall; just trinkets. She leaned into the closet and reached out towards the back wall, her sharpened nails scraping against the wood as they sought a hidden treasure. Finally, her fingers clinked against metal. Reaching in further, she dragged the box out.

 

Sitting down on the floor, she placed the box on the tatami before her and examined it; an old, rusted and battered metal case. The bottom two corners had been severely dented and something wedge-shaped had been slammed into the centre of the top edge causing it to bend inward. Junyou continued to stare as the case, trepidation breeding hesitation. Memories of how she and her sister had acquired the box flooding her mind…

 

A few years ago, when the war was finely-balanced, there had been regular visitors and fleets stopping in Pacific South to rest and resupply. Hiyou had gotten to know a member of a regular submarine patrol between the Pacific North and South bases; I-58. A few months later, when the same submarine patrol had stopped to resupply and report at Pacific South, I-58 had visited them in this very room with a perplexing gift.

 

Junyou reached out, her limbs stiff and her hands turning numb as she forced the rusted hinges of the box to relent and open.

 

Then she simply stared at the contents. Unmoving.

 

She remembered how she and her sister had sat in disbelief as I-58 had told them how she found the wreckage of Hiyou. The Real Hiyou.

 

Without thinking, Junyou reached into the box and drew clear several small plates of jagged metal. She turned the pieces of metal around in her hand, examining each dent and tear as a rising tide of anxiety washed over her, much as it had both her and Hiyou a few years previous.

 

It is obscene to hold part of your own corpse.

 

Junyou put them down and reached back into the box. This time drawing a bundle of letters clear. The envelopes were warped and discoloured. It was a mystery how they had survived being submerged for so long in any shape or form.

 

Again, she remembered as the two sisters and the submarine had poured over the letters, spreading them out of the floor of the room and piecing them together by time, date and place; a jigsaw of a dead man’s life.

 

The story they had discovered had been of an officer aboard the original carrier, IJN Hiyou. Some of the letters were from his wife, while others had apparently been written in reply but never sent. This would have been inconsequential to Junyou. However, within one of the woman’s letters she had enclosed a photo. An image that struck her dumb. The photo was of a woman standing on a pier, looking out to sea. And there she floated in the background; blurred by focus and listing as she waited for repairs; IJN Junyou.

 

The location of the photo… Junyou knew it well; Sasebo. Photographed and warped by age, it wrenched open dark doors in her memory; a hidden cache of imprints only previously peered at through the kaleidoscope of dreams.

 

Shortly after the photo had been taken, Junyou had lost her sister for the first time and been confined to the Sasebo permanently. The woman had become a constant companion. Always watching. Everyday. Waiting for someone who could no longer return.

 

The smile in the photo was from a different age. The woman Junyou remembered had worn her grief more openly with each passing day. The hulked aircraft carrier had understood, silently echoing her anguish …

 

The letters spilled out from Junyou’s hand. They fell until, at last, only the photo remained in her hand.

 

That woman…

 

The last barrier between total loneliness in her darkest of days. Their fates tied together by the loss of loved ones.

 

And now… She stared at the photo’s subject with renewed intensity.

 

…So familiar.

 

Junyou put the photo face-down. She wanted to believe that she had found her.

 

But it was impossible. And the timing…

 

Everything comes back to Hiyou.

 

Swiftly, she scooped out everything that had come out of the box and shoved it all back inside, closing the lid. She threw it back into the closet, hearing it clink against the back wall. She paused for a moment, just a single frail moment… And plucked a decorative eyepatch between her fingers from the shelf and brought it to the light.

 

Ridiculous.

 

Hiyou had adorned herself with these frivolities just as naturally as she had worn a smile, spouted a jest or clasped hands with friends. That was why the others had put up with her darker-half.

 

Junyou crushed the material in her fist and then tossed it away, back into the gloom of the closet. But as she turned back to the room, she shuddered and lost her balance, half-falling. She reached for her Katana, dragging the blade clear and staring at the jagged tip. She couldn’t stop shaking as she slipped to her knees.

 

The box. The letter. That photo. It told her pieces of a story she already knew, but desperately wanted to forget. 

 

Those pieces of her sister. And she was junked; made useless all over again.

 

History repeats itself.

 

Her breath caught in her throat, choking her for a moment before it all spilled out. She slammed the blade down, tearing into the tatami floor. A silent scream echoed from her lips. Twice more she slammed the blade down. Then twice more. Twice more.

 

On her knees, she threw the blade aside and tore at the mat with her nails, digging in underneath. Her teeth bit into her lips as her hands gripped, tore and throttled. A tsunami of fury sweeping across an ocean of grief.

 

She wanted to drown. She would have.

 

A terrified squeak gave her pause.

 

On her knees, she turned slowly. Kiyonami was standing just inside the room. The destroyer was pale-faced, staring at her in horror as she clutched onto her toy rabbit for dear life. 

 

“What.” Junyou breathed out the word, and it came rattling out of her throat reeking of death.

 

The destroyer closed her eyes and tried to brace herself.

 

Junyou pushed herself to her feet and stepped over to the girl with slow, even paces. She stopped and looked down, her hands twitching. 

 

As her terrifyer towered over her, Kiyonami peeped upward briefly, and began to shake as she witnessed Junyou leaning down. She emitted another horrified squeak and squeezed her eyes shut again as Junyou grabbed a fistful of the back of her jacket and slowly lifted her off the ground, bringing her up to the light carrier’s level.

 

“Why?” her voice growled, the fury open and putrid on her breath.

 

Kiyonami's eyes opened wide. Now so petrified that she had lost control, her gaze locked to the predatory wrath of her senior’s pupils. She tried to speak but her lips only trembled with muted sound for a moment before something coherent finally tumbled out.

 

“I-I… W-w-went to s-s-see co-coman-d-d-der…”

 

“There isn’t a commander anymore,” Junyou hissed.

 

“Bu-but I s-saw an… A-a-n…”

 

“You saw one of the pretenders,” Junyou snapped, tiring of the girl’s stuttering.

 

Kiyonami just stared, her eyes still wide with terror.

 

“I asked t-them if they c-could… C-c-cou…”

 

“What did you ask them?” Junyou snapped, a horrible moment of prescience churning the blood in her veins.

 

“T-to… B-bring back Hi-Chan.”

 

Junyou’s eyes widened as the scorn that had been scorching her throat bubbled and spilled over.

 

“Do you think, you stupid little girl, that if they actually had any wisdom cubes, which they fucking don’t, that they would waste them on a Light Aircraft Carrier ? And do you suppose, that if they did, it would be the Hiyou that you knew who came back? She wouldn’t fucking remember anything or anyone. Not me . And especially not you .” 

 

Tears began to pour down the tiny girl’s cheeks, accompanied by uncontrollable sobs as her body went totally limp in her aggressor’s hand. Junyou dropped her in disgust and turned away with a scowl. She heard Kiyonami scramble to her feet as she fought down her hysterics for survival’s sake, and then the patter of her feet as she ran out of the room. Junyou turned back and, to her surprise, saw the girl hesitating just beyond the doorway. She was still very openly coloured by fear, but something was keeping her from a total retreat. The bright-blue pupils of her doe eyes flickered from Junyou to something else. Following her eyeline, Junyou saw that her stuffed toy rabbit lay on the ground, forgotten when the destroyer had tried to escape.

 

Junyou kneeled down and picked it up. Slowly, she stood up, running her fingers along the soft velvet fur of the toy, her pointed nails trailing behind. She had a mind to…

 

She’s just a kid.

 

She heard Hiyou whisper in her ear. It sunk in, through gritted teeth and beyond, through the ocean inside and wails of her own desolation.

 

…Just a kid.

 

Junyou tossed the toy towards Kiyonami. The destroyer flailed out with her arms but managed to catch it, hugging it to her chest. 

 

She was about to turn and run, but hesitated for one more moment, watching Junyou. Just for a split second, she could have sworn that she saw something else besides fear there.

 

Then she was gone.

 

Junyou slid her door shut properly this time. Then she walked to the centre of the room and collapsed onto the floor.

 

When I cannot hear you anymore.

 

When they all see what a monster I really am. 

 

What then?

 

She closed her eyes as those words echoed around the sudden emptiness inside her mind. 

 

Then sleep came. Dreams of the past engulfed her.

Chapter 2: Let Me In

She was flying.

 

The sky opened up before her as she crested clouds, the ceiling tumbling away to the heavens.

 

She was a ryuusei bomber; her wings sleek in green and adorned by purple sakura-blossom motifs. Effortlessly, she sliced through the currents, finding a simple joy in her mobility.

 

Where am I going?

 

What an odd question; there was always intent when she launched an aircraft. She tried to remember but found no memory of her trajectory, nor where she had come from. She tried to pull back to her body, and then panicked when there was no response. One wing began to dip, her body faltering in flight as the shifting wind bit into her balance.

 

Another plane pierced the clouds, rising alongside her; a reppuu with a sky-blue katana emblazoned along each wing.

 

“Calm down,” a voice pulsed in her mind. “Just fly.”

 

She heeded the advice, steadied by the familiarity of the voice, feeling the throttle of her engine reaffirm her path of flight. If she had any doubt as to the identity of the reppuu, they were dispersed as the fighter performed an elaborate twirling loop-de-loop, switching sides from Junyou’s right to her left.

 

“Do you always have to be so flamboyant?” Junyou inquired.

 

“Yes. Those are the rules,” Hiyou replied, barrel-rolling.

 

“You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be related to you.”

 

“Can’t help being this cool.”

 

“No… I suppose not.”

 

Silence descended as they glided along. Junyou didn’t want to break it. Part of her didn’t want to change anything.

 

“You should stop being so mean to Kiyonami.”

 

“Did you know she calls you Hi-chan?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“And you’ve never felt the urge to slice her throat open?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“You should.”

 

“Just… We’re trying to help you. Try to find a little kindness.”

 

“I don’t need anyone’s help.”

 

“Jun… I’m worried about you.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I can’t rest knowing that you’re going to war with everyone who tries to talk to you.”

 

“Don’t be so melodramatic.” 

 

“Please, just try. For me.”

 

“…Fine. I’ll try not to hate everyone. Even if they patently deserve it.”

 

“Thanks… Jun?”

 

“What?”

 

“I have to go now.”

 

Don’t…

 

“…Sure.”

 

“Try to get up early today, you’ll feel better.”

 

“Doubt it.”

 

The ghost of a smile pulsed in her mind as the reppuu peeled away, a spinning descent into the clouds.

 

Junyou flew on. Her destination was still no clearer… 

 

 

***********

 

 

Eyes opened. The dream faded.

 

She didn’t feel any better. 

 

Sunlight streamed through the window that much harsher for all of her vain hope. She couldn’t remember why she had expected anything else… Just a faint sensation of soaring through skies unknown… It drifted away.

 

She didn’t know what time it was. There wasn’t a clock in the room. That seemed odd, but then she recalled shattering it in a rage a few weeks ago.

 

Who needs time?

 

Judging by the rays of the sun, it was still early. Lying back, she felt a pillow rustle against her hair. Strange, she couldn’t remember unfurling her futon last night.

 

Stranger was still to come; a knock at her door.

 

Junyou sat up in disbelief.

 

I must have imagined it…

 

She shook her head, reclining again. Then it sounded out again. She sat up again, staring at her door as if expecting it to implode at any moment. That seemed likely, if anything; guards finally coming to scrap her.

 

Another knock.

 

“Go away,” she snapped.

 

Her visitor was not dissuaded. Far from it, they took it as a sign to enter. The door slid open and Kiyonami scuttled inside. If Junyou had been surprised before, now she was dumbfounded.

 

“What… What are you doing?”

 

The little destroyer trotted over to her and grabbed her arm. She began trying to tug her out of bed.

 

“You have to come with me!” 

 

Junyou watched on in disbelief as the destroyer futilely tried to pull her out from beneath her blanket.

 

“Do you have a death wish?”

 

Kiyonami paused her in struggle and looked up, meeting her gaze full-on with a little trooper’s determination just barely masking her terror.

 

“Hi-chan said you’d sleep in until noon if I didn’t get you up now.”

 

What?

 

Junyou just stared as the destroyer went back to her task. Without really thinking about it, she pulled her gripped arm back and then shoved Kiyonami away. The little destroyer was flung backwards, falling head-over-heel. Without hesitation, she got back to her feet, ran back over to the futon and began tugging on Junyou’s arm again.

 

“What exactly are you going to do if I get up?” she asked after a few moments. At this point, curiosity was winning over her temper.

 

“I’m going to the beach to meet my friends. You can come,” Kiyonami answered.

 

Junyou’s arm flashed out again; this time she grasped the destroyer’s jacket by the collar and pulled her close. Their faces were inches apart. She immediately saw fear openly pool in those doe eyes, begging against whatever courage she had conjured since their last meeting.

 

“You want to bring me to meet your friends?”

 

Kiyonami gave a slight nod, just about holding her nerve.

 

“Why?”

 

Junyou watched closely as the destroyer deliberated her answer. It wasn’t a prank; no one would dare. And Kiyonami would be the last person anyone would choose to entrust with the simplest of tasks, let alone some form of deception. No, there was something else here. She had said something about…

 

“Why did you mention my sister?” she pressed.

 

“Hi-chan told me you’re not listening to her, s-so I have to help you.”

 

“Really? And why would my dead sister talk to you?”

 

“She said you won’t listen to her when you’re awake. She said you ignore her all the time!”

 

Junyou took a deep breath, her gaze roaming Kiyonami’s face for the slightest sign of delusion or a lie. There was nothing; whatever nonsense she was spouting, she certainly seemed to believe it.

 

Try to find a little kindness.

 

She groaned and closed her eyes. Her head split on something only a quarter-remembered. When she looked back into the destroyer’s face she didn’t see any give.

 

Just try. For me.

 

“Fine.” She sighed, letting go of her new compact militarised alarm clock.

 

Relief flooded Kiyonami’s features and she smiled.

 

She looked a little too happy, Junyou decided. She snatched the girl’s toy rabbit out from her arms and threw it out of her room, making her companion squeak in distress as she gave chase.

 

That felt better.

 

It wouldn’t last for long.

 

 

**********

 

 

Junyou sat on the beach cross-legged, staring out at the tide and cursing herself for what had barely been a split-second of… Optimism? No, that was too much. Trust? Maybe. A lack of cynicism? That was more like it.

 

Around her, several destroyers hollered and yelled as they scarpered in zig-zags and circles; lost in childish games.

 

“Are you having fun?” A timid Kiyonami edged into her field-of-vision, wisely keeping her distance.

 

Junyou just stared at her, honing her sour gaze to a fine tremble-inducing point.

 

“D-do you want to play?” Whatever nerve Kiyonami had found was quickly failing her as she took a step backwards. “…Hi-chan used to play with us sometimes.”

 

“No,” Junyou uttered; a single word that conveyed a remarkable amount of disdain coming from her lips.

 

Kiyonami tried to reply, her lips trembling. After a moment she gave up and ran back to her friends.

 

Much to Junyou’s chagrin, she was soon replaced by a wide-eyed girl with a long shock of silver hair who wore a uniform of black.

 

“Who are you?” She pointed at the light carrier, jabbing her finger right into her face.

 

Junyou batted her hand away, glowering at the girl. It didn’t seem to perturb her as she struck a defiant pose.

 

“I’m Graf Zeppelin. I’m the world’s most feared Aircraft Carrier! In the future everyone will-”

 

Junyou grabbed a handful of sand and shoved it into the Ironblood’s face. Zeppy fell back, choking. She rolled around on the sand, coughing and spluttering, her oversized hat falling off. Junyou watched her with vague amusement and considered finishing the job, though for once her anger only smouldered rather than flared.

 

“Don’t do that!”

 

Junyou turned to find Kiyonami staring at her, afraid even as she tried to chastise her.

 

“It’s okay,” another girl chimed in. “No one really likes Zeppy.”

 

“You see.” Junyou chuckled as Kiyonami frowned. “She got what she deserved.”

 

At the very least she could still entertain herself, Junyou reasoned. She picked up Zeppy’s fallen hat and shoved it down on the destroyer’s head. 

 

“Now you’re the world's most feared aircraft carrier. How does it feel?”

 

Kiyonami shrugged her off, her eyes scrunching up. “You’re being mean.”

 

“How dare you,” Junyou mocked.

 

Kiyonami frowned again before running over to Zeppy and helping her up. The mini-carrier’s cheeks puffed in-and-out rapidly as she regained her balance. Her eyes levelled off on Junyou as she gasped out grains of sand.

 

“I won’t forget this,” Zeppy whined, stamping her feet. “Revenge will be mine!”

 

“Please try.” The Sakura carrier narrowed her eyes.

 

Kiyonami recognized the look and pulled Zeppy back a few paces. Unfortunately, that didn’t discourage the Ironblood, who began rattling off a series of threats. The little carrier’s whining should have served as provocation. Instead, tempered as she had been since waking by melancholia, Junyou simply stood up and walked away; quickly growing tired of the child’s prattle.

 

She walked along the beach, following the jagged line of the tide across the eastern curve of the bay for a time. She couldn’t have even said why she had come here in the first place. Though, equally, she couldn’t really say why she did anything anymore… The absence of anger was unnatural, it left her feeling hollow.

 

Looking up she spotted a figure jogging along the beach towards her. She turned away, aiming back up towards the shore but then paused momentarily, glancing back to the figure on instinct. As they came closer, she realised who it was.

 

“We meet again.”

 

Junyou felt that same constricting creep of anxiety around her ribs. 

 

“You’re up early,” she stated.

 

“Couldn’t sleep,” the woman admitted, coming to a halt. "Too long cooped up on that cruiser."

 

Junyou stood in silence by way of reply. She had the urge to say something; a rarity for her, but nothing came to mind.

 

“A few of the officers from yesterday mentioned you.” 

 

“Really?” Junyou replied, mind flush with what they would have said.

 

A loose cannon. No respect. A waste of space.

 

Clearly, the officer picked up on her train of thought. “People behind desks can be so cruel, can’t they?” she chuckled.

 

“Maybe they’re right.”

 

“Hmmm… perhaps.” she replied, gazing at Junyou with undeniable curiosity. "You did handle that ensign…" Her voice trailed. “It’s a fine base you have here.” She switched her gaze along with the subject abruptly. “Makes a pleasant change from the deep north.”

 

“It suffices,” was the best Junyou could offer. She had long stopped thinking of the place as anything else.

 

The woman smiled at her, faint laughter tipping over the edge of her lips. In contrast, her eyes narrowed a touch.

 

“Do you often come here in the morning?” she asked.

 

“Sometimes,” Junyou mumbled, unsure of why she was stretching the truth.

 

“I like to get out and stretch my legs before a long day of decision-making, and this seems like a good route. Perhaps we’ll run into each other here again?”

 

“…Yes. I think that… Yeah.” She couldn’t think straight as she met the woman’s gaze; something embedded there seemed to warp her mind, leaving her grasping for anything coherent.

 

“Good, I’ll look forward to it. My name’s Ayana, by the way.”

 

Instinctively, Junyou knew she was lying, though she couldn’t fathom why.

 

A name, but not her rank. Strange for her kind not to laud their titles…

 

“And you?”

 

“You already know.”

 

“Sure. But I’m fond of personal introductions.”

 

“Sakura Light-”

 

“Just your name.”

 

“…Junyou.”

 

“Beautiful. I’ll see you soon, Junyou.”

 

The light carrier nodded as her companion took off again. They turned to glance at each other as their paths crossed. The officer’s smile grew wide. Dazzling. 

 

Junyou found a grin tugging at her own mouth in return. It had been so long since her lips had been contorted by anything but malice.

 

It was more welcome than she would have thought, or ever admitted.

 

 

************

 

 

For the following few weeks her routine was set. She would allow Kiyonami to drag her out of bed each morning. Then she would sit on the beach for a while as the destroyer and her friends ran themselves ragged. Sometimes she made a small effort not to bully any of the children, even when they deserved it. After her encounter with Zeppy, they all appeared to regard her with a degree of caution. Though, none objected to her presence or showed any sign of unease (apart from the mini-carrier). After serving as a pariah for so long, it was odd to be regarded with indifference, even if it was just by a group of children.

 

Regardless of her company, her journey each morning served its purpose as a cover. After a while, she would rise and walk off, inevitably crossing paths with Ayana. Their meetings became the centrepiece of her day. Something esoteric bloomed between them, at first taking root in mutual cynicism towards their command structure before flowering into an easy comradeship between two people; soldiers who understood sacrifice and had been informed by death. When they were together, Junyou's temper never flared and her hands never twitched. The more they talked, the slower they walked. And with each day she lost herself further in those moments that became increasingly precious…

 

Simple things. Simple touches. 

 

She dreamt of them days later.

 

And the more Junyou saw her, the more she remembered of the woman from Sasebo. It was uncanny; their resemblance stretched to some of the same mannerisms as well; whenever the breeze picked up, Ayana had a habit of running a hand through her long dark hair, letting it swing out along the currents. 

 

The sight of the officer's lustrous black hair glinting against the rising sun stoked her memories. Feelings buried and long forgotten. Images captured from another life.

 

It was the caress of those moments that allowed Junyou to slip into the past, finding her constant companion once more, and the relief to her decay.

 

Days passed and the whispers in her ears faded away. 

 

Even the anger in her veins seemed to run dry at times. Though familiar culprits still tested her patience…

 

 

************

 

 

She had been to the cemetery again, a place that always left her mood fragile.

 

Returning home, she found a visitor waiting in her room. It wasn’t that uncommon to see Kiyonami loitering here these days. However, now the destroyer had a futon laid out on the floor, along with a scattered array of possessions, most of which were stuffed toys.

 

“What are you doing here?” Junyou snapped, stepping inside her room.

 

Kiyonami rolled over to face her, closing the book she had been reading.

 

“Umm…” she hesitated, her eyes growing wide with trepidation.

 

As if to answer her question, Fusou suddenly appeared in the doorway behind Junyou.

 

“She needs a new room…” the battleship mumbled.

 

Junyou spun around, irritated by being caught off guard between her two adversaries.

 

“Speak up,” the carrier snapped, glaring at Fusou.

 

“T-there’s going to be some maintenance on the west side of the building… So a few people are sharing rooms. And she-”

 

“Why me?” Junyou cut in, eyes widening in a cross between outrage and horror.

 

Fusou looked just as bewildered, but she desperately tried to play it down. 

 

“I-it’s not like anyone wouldn’t want to… Um, with you… Err… I mean, I would, but…”

 

“Do you think I’m stupid? Or just totally lacking in self-awareness?”

 

“No! I didn’t mean to say- I meant… No-”

 

“What did you mean?”

 

The dreadnought’s saviour came in the form of the subject of their discussion; Kiyonami latching onto Junyou's leg and hugging her tightly.

 

“What are you doing!?” the light carrier shrieked. “Get off!” She began trying to kick out in an attempt to shake the destroyer off, but the girl weighed her down enough to mitigate her efforts. She turned back to Fusou in alarm. “Get her off of me! Now!”

 

Unsurprisingly, the sparks of her panic spread to the battleship as she fretted, unsure of what to do. “S-she said she wanted to stay here, I couldn’t talk her out- I mean, I wouldn’t need to, no- I mean, I understand why, there’s nothing wrong with-”

 

She was cut off as Junyou, pushed to the precipice of a rage stroke, quickly reached out and slammed the door shut in Fusou’s face. Now, with one source of intense frustration erased, she turned her attention back to the other. She ambled towards the centre of the room, her supposed-roommate still clamped onto her thigh. After getting some space she reached down and snatched a handful of the back of Kiyonami’s jacket. It took several tugs before she could pry her loose, but pry her loose she did. She lifted the girl up to her level. Suspended in mid-air, her arms and legs out-stretched out as if she were flying.

 

“Explain yourself. Now.” Junyou fixed her with a withering stare.

 

Kiyonami returned her glare with doe eyes coloured by sorrow.

 

“Fusou-Onee said I could either stay with you or Kaga…”

 

Junyou immediately checked herself. She wouldn’t wish rooming with Kaga on her worst enemy. Just thinking about it; the archaic ramblings and holier-than-thou sermons. It made her shiver with dread. But then… What to do about this one? Junyou gazed at Kiyonami idly for a moment as she considered her options. It was then that she noticed the distress drift from the destroyer’s eyes, replaced with faint hope.

 

Then it clicked. Junyou smiled a thin smile.

 

“Well well, someone’s developed a manipulative streak.”

 

Kiyonami's eyes immediately defaulted to the fearful expression Junyou had come to associate with the girl.

 

Busted.

 

“Using my enemies against me to get what you want. How sly.”

 

“No!” the destroyer cried out.

 

“You figured out it was the one thing I would excuse. Clever.”

 

“I didn’t know! I just… Kaga’s scary.”

 

“Scarier than me?” Junyou bared her teeth and watched as Kiyonami cowered.

 

The destroyer raised her arms in a vain attempt to ward off her tormentor. Junyou switched tact back instantly and chuckled.

 

“Keep this up and everyone’s going to say that you’ve been spending a little too much time with your new roommate.”

 

Kiyonami peered at her between her out-stretched hands.

 

“S-so… I can stay?”

 

“Sure. You’ve even gone up in my estimation.”

 

The destroyer frowned for a moment; her eyes stirred with worry by her senior’s estimation. But after a few moments a smile began to creep through.

 

“Thank you. I knew we were friends…” she mumbled, embarrassed.

 

“Enough of that,” Junyou snapped.

 

“Jun-chan…”

 

Junyou dropped her immediately. Kiyonami hit the floor with a yelp. Junyou nudged her out of the way with her foot as she strolled over to what was now her side of the room.

 

“You’re responsible for cleaning. I expect everything to be spick and span. You’re also in charge of dealing with unwanted visitors. If I find Fusou popping up at the door again, I expect to see you there fending her off with a broom or some such. Preferably before she starts babbling, though I suppose I might be asking for the impossible there.”

 

Junyou took a seat on her futon and then reclined back. She glanced in her new roommate’s direction. 

 

“You should be taking notes,” she informed her.

 

Kiyonami, who had only just recovered from her fall, squeaked in an alarm before scrambling over to her backpack, looking for a notepad and pen.

 

“That’s more like it.” Junyou let her laughter ring out.

 

 

***********

 

 

The tide rolled in, pooling around her ankles. She hadn’t even noticed straying into its sweeping path. The honeyed sound of a feminine chuckle tickled her ear.

 

“Your boots are soaked.”

 

“I’ll live.”

 

“Well, I guess you’ve spent most of your life standing in the ocean.”

 

“Floating.”

 

Ayana laughed again as she strolled past Junyou, their shoulders brushing as she did.

 

“Serenely. Like a dream. I can imagine it now.”

 

“Side-stepping artillery shells, more like.”

 

Junyou looked down, watching the froth of the tide rinse over her boots for a second time. A now-familiar smile was tugging at the corners of her mouth; she just couldn’t quite understand it. Or maybe she was simply afraid of disappointment.

 

Try to find a little kindness.

 

Where had she heard that?

 

“I have a little longer to spare today. We could walk another circuit if you like?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Where else do I have to go? What else would I do?

 

They walked and talked for a while longer. Junyou switched sides and traced the tail of the rising sun beyond her companion as she turned to steal looks.

 

“It must be frustrating.”

 

“It is. Very. Politics and policy. All day, every day.”

 

“They should just-”

 

“-They never will. They’ll cling on forever to their delusions. It’s the way of the old and meek, you know that.”

 

Junyou fell silent. Ambitions were a familiar topic, but they had exhausted it for today. And she hated to be trite or boring, or just agree. Still, she wanted to hear Ayana's voice…Llisten to her words flow. In another life she had always been silent.

 

“I’ve heard the skirmishes are almost constant now. Every two or three days. How are you finding it?” she asked, though she didn’t really want to.

 

“They poke and prod, just drones and the occasional Knight squadron. Maybe a Queen here and there. They’re setting a pattern, gauging our reactions. The others won’t wake up to it; we’re being sized up. Eventually a heavier press will come, then we’ll be boxed in. I want to be pre-emptive, but… They only want meetings to arrange more meetings… Sometimes I wonder why I came here.” Ayana sighed, watching Junyou from the corner of her eye.

 

The carrier couldn’t argue with the officer’s assessment. She was surprised to find that she didn’t have any strong feelings on the matter either way anymore, so far removed from the battlefield now. Though she knew she once would have fumed at the indecision; bureaucracy running rampant. In times of desperation, when the wolves were at the door, you couldn’t trust people who lived behind desks to have the nerve to do what was necessary. She had lived through enough so-called leaders to know that first-hand; the last one had left her half-dead. To be fearless but to understand fear, to know when sacrifices had to be made, to be bold and to heed caution in turn; these were the traits of greatness. And she saw hints of them in the woman beside her; the desire for action over reaction and the reviling of cowardliness… It stirred something in Junyou. Something she thought she had lost. Something long dead in the eyes of Kaga.

 

Glancing at the Ayana, she could read the focus in her eyes, the relentlessness in the firm line of her jaw. There was steel within her. Perhaps she could endure…

 

She broke the silence after a few moments. “You’ll get your way eventually.” 

 

Ayana didn't seem to hear her at first. She was looking out to sea, her hair streaming out on a sudden gust of wind. The sight stirred Junyou's memory once more…

 

She has always been looking out to sea. Staring at something long lost, willing it to return.

 

The officer turned to peer at her, interest piqued.

 

“And why do you think that?”

 

…One way or another.

 

“I suspect you always do, somehow.”

 

“How would you know?”

 

I know.

 

“I’ve known you for a long time.”

 

It took her moment to really register the words she had let slip. She cursed inwardly, but after a moment’s reflection, there was no deeper sense of regret as she watched her companion watching her, eyes giving nothing away.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I… A long time ago… It doesn’t matter.”

 

She tried to walk away but Ayana seized her shoulder in a vice-like grip. Junyou paused, surprised at the strength and intensity of her grasp.

 

“Explain.”

 

As Junyou turned to meet her gaze, she couldn't quite tell if it was a prompt or an order.

 

If not now, when?

 

“Have you ever felt it? That really… We’ve met before. That’s we’re… We’ve been together before.”

 

She watched as a hint of surprise touched Ayana’s features, widening one of her eyes but not the other. Fear would come next, confusion if not. Either way…

 

“I understand.”

 

Junyou blinked.

 

A small smile curved Ayana’s lips, spreading wider.

 

“Everyone says you're a disaster waiting to happen. No respect for the brass. No cause. But I can see the real you.”

 

Junyou froze; everything inside her just stopped. 

 

“They say the same about me, you know? Behind my back. They let their fear talk.” She began to laugh but there was no mirth. “My old superior once told me: the worst of us make too many enemies to fight…”

 

“…And find too few friends to burden,” Junyou finished.

 

Hiyou had warned her of the very same thing.

 

They stood in silence for a few moments, eyes locked. A battle raging in each of them as they sought to reveal themselves; to strip away the final layer of self-defence.

 

“It was meant as a warning. But… It’s the best way to live.”

 

“Why?” It was the carrier's final question.

 

“The weak are many and the strong are few.” The words were spoken with conviction.

 

Junyou stepped forward, moving in close. So close they could taste each other’s breath.

 

“It’s forbidden,” Junyou whispered a final warning as she leaned closer.

 

“No one here seems to care,” was Ayana’s rebuttal.

 

Junyou tipped her head an inch. Ayana reached up, a finger traced the light carrier’s lips.

 

“…But they’ll use anything they can against me. And you.”

 

The carrier didn’t step back. And the officer didn’t break her gaze.

 

“Not here. But soon. I’ll find you.”

 

Without another word she turned and walked away.

 

Junyou was left trembling, her mind a whirlwind of conflict. The past and the future swirled together, and desire prowled the eye of the storm. No longer dormant or consumed by grief, it would not be denied much longer.

 

Her nails twitched against the palm of her hand as she watched the woman depart the shore.

 

 

***********

 

 

She waited. Pensive, but the anger that had been leaking out for so long slowed to a trickle. Something was changing beneath her skin, being reworked. Grief only bristled in clutches of hidden moments now, rather than the stabbing that had awaited her every morning for the preceding months. Kiyonami hadn’t mentioned Hiyou either. There had been no more whispers. Maybe her sister had finally found peace. Days came and went. Tomorrow always arrived. She merely watched. It seemed as though she was standing in front of a tidal wave; a wall of deep blue that towered before her, frozen in place but ever-threatening. She found the death waiting there alluring. Worth the risk. So she accepted the interval, content enough to wait for what she felt was certain to come.

 

Inside; a deep dark love blossomed. Her routine changed; she no longer saw Ayana in the mornings anymore. Instead, she stayed with the children and then herded them to the academy for classes or the docks, either for drills or the now-daily defensive fleet patrols. Not that she cared too much, but she knew that most of the kids were in reserve fleets; destroyers like Kiyonami would rarely see any action. Torpedo spreads at drones would be the closest she would get anytime soon. Still, she heard enough to know that the Sirens were still prodding. None of the active girls seemed to care; they treated it like a chore. That in itself should have been enough to concern a veteran like Junyou.  

 

The wheat will be cut from the chaff in time.

 

It wasn’t her concern anymore. She let the malaise slide.

 

Besides, as the days passed a more amusing distraction announced itself; Kiyonami had a crush. 

 

Sitting in the sand one morning, she noticed it. There was a destroyer, an Eagle Union girl. A little more mature than the others, stronger and quieter; an outsider by Junyou’s estimation. And then she saw it clearly, Kiyonami tended to hover around the girl in spare moments between playing with the others. A new shade of blue coloured her quivering doe-eyed gaze when she considered the destroyer; her pupils contemplating blooming youth.

 

Junyou laid awake all day and night. She barely slept anymore. She didn’t want to dream. Instead, she observed her roommate; the child spent her evenings doing academy homework (a concept that Junyou found darkly amusing; a paradigm of innocence studying to wreck and rend), reading books or playing with her array of stuffed toys. Sometimes she tried to start a conversation, and Junyou would humour her, though she didn’t have much to offer; for once, not out of cruelty.

 

One night a hint of mischief flickered in her mind as she watched the destroyer, tucked into her futon and oblivious. Silently, she got to her feet and padded over. 

 

Half-asleep, Kiyonami had her back turned and didn’t notice. Suddenly she felt strands of velvet fur tickle the skin of her neck. Waking with a start, she twisted around, at first afraid but then quickly giggling in delight as her toy rabbit danced along her shoulder before ruffling her hair, marionetted by Junyou.

 

“Hoppy!” she cried out in delight.

 

The light carrier smiled, one corner of her lips twisting upward.

 

“I know a secret,” The rabbit whispered, pausing in its dance to stand upon the pillow next to her, gazing upon its owner through button eyes.

 

“W-what?” Kiyonami whispered, rubbing sleepy eyes.

 

“I know you like someone.”

 

“Jun-chan..?”

 

“No, no, no. Not like that.” The rabbit bopped her lightly on the nose. “Someone new. Someone who makes butterflies twirl around inside whenever you think of her.”

 

“I-I don’t understand.”

 

But through shafts of moonlight, Junyou could see that she did.

 

“I’m going to help you,” The rabbit whispered soothingly in her ear.

 

Kiyonami closed her eyes tightly.

 

“I… Just want to make friends.”

 

“Friends are just the beginning,” The rabbit replied.

 

“I don’t know what to do.” She peered into the darkness beyond the rabbit.

 

“Go to sleep, and in the morning everything will change.”

 

The destroyer did as she was bidden, swiftly slipping back into her dreams.

 

Junyou left the rabbit beside her and went back to her own bed. A smirk lined her lips, but as she drifted off in a rare bout of slumber, a smile found sincerity.

 

 

**********

 

 

“Today, I, Graf Zeppelin, will have my revenge!”

 

Junyou looked up as the mini-carrier beat her chest and then pointed at her, pupils dilated with delusions of grandeur.

 

With a deft hand, she reached out and plucked the tip of Zeppy’s hat between her fingers. She lifted it clear before the Ironblood’s fumbling hands could catch her and then threw it into the wind. The hat circled away, riding the currents like a frisbee, far into the distance.

 

Zeppy screamed and took off after it.

 

That pest dealt with, Junyou turned her attention back to her quarry this morning. She had observed that on most mornings, the destroyer-in-question would often break off from her friends to sit alone and watch the ocean for a time.

 

This morning she waited for just such an occasion and then pounced.

 

“Hello,” she greeted the girl, sitting down next to her.

 

“Hello,” The destroyer replied in monotone, momentarily glancing up at the light carrier but showing no reaction.

 

Junyou glanced to her side, taking the girl in; she was quite striking with long blonde hair, bright blue eyes and long, slim legs. There was also something almost imperceptibly off about the girl; she seemed somewhat detached from reality. Not dull, but not on the same wavelength as her friends. 

 

“What’s your name?” Junyou asked.

 

“Smalley.”

 

“I’m Junyou.”

 

“You’re Kiyonami’s friend,” she stated factually.

 

“Yes. Do you like Kiyonami?”

 

“Yes… She is very kind.” Hesitation brought just a bare shade of a tone to colour her voice. 

 

“She likes you too. She often talks about you.”

 

“What does she say?” Smalley turned to look at the carrier, some feeling illuminating her eyes for the first time.

 

“Why don’t you ask her? I think she would like that.”

 

Smalley gazed at the light carrier for a few moments.

 

“I will.”

 

Without another word, the destroyer stood up and walked off.

 

That was easy.

 

Kiyonami certainly knew how to pick‘em, Junyou decided as she watched the Union destroyer seek out the Sakura girl amidst the rush of her playing comrades. She saw Smalley lean over and whisper something into Kiyonami’s ear. The tiny destroyer’s eyes went wide with panic as they sought out her senior through the crowd.

 

Junyou saluted her and gave a toothy grin by way of reply. 

 

 

***********

 

 

It came suddenly. A sharp breeze hissing through the deep of night.

 

There was no knock or signal. Her door slid open and Ayana stepped inside silently.

 

Junyou sat up and took her in; she was wearing a kimono; a cold colour with only the bare pattern of a flower adorning one shoulder.

 

There was a half-moment of panic before she remembered that Kiyonami was away on an overnight patrol. The officer must have been fully aware and waiting, she realised.

 

Now they were truly alone. Finally.

 

She stood up, adorned only in a plain cotton yukata of faded purple. The two women watched each other. Moonlight coloured the windows in pale light, but it didn’t seem to penetrate the room, merely illuminating it with faint hues from a faraway place.

 

No longer steel. Now I am flesh.

 

Ayana took a single step forward, her intent made clear through the sharp lines of her body.

 

I have eyes to watch her.

 

She reached behind her back and untied her obi sash, letting it fall loose.

 

I have arms to enfold her within.

 

Her kimono slackened, slowly parting; first to reveal the shadowy outline of a thigh.

 

I have a voice to whisper promises.

 

Next came the curve of her belly, the paleness of her skin shimmering by night.

 

I have hands to display my affection and my attention.

 

Then her shoulders rolled back in turn and the robe fell clear; the lithe delights of her body made clear.

 

I have lips to kiss her.

 

Junyou moved, taking each step towards her in time. No rush, she would savour every tick of the clock, every sensation. The wait and then…

 

Ayana reached out, her hands sliding along the collar of Junyou’s yukata, and then down to where the fabric crossed, slipping inside as it loosened. One hand cupped a breast tenderly, the other lifted the garment up and then back. It came clear.

 

Both stood bare before the other.

 

Junyou reached up to her chest and placed her hand upon Ayana’s.

 

“I’ve waited. Years and years and years.”

 

Ayana dipped her head. Junyou leaned in and brushed her lips against the officer’s ear.

 

“And now, after all this time… I want you to take me,” she whispered. “Can you do that?”

 

Ayana pulled back, just enough to meet her gaze. Her eyes seemed so alive in the dark; the colours smouldered and sparked.

 

“Are you mine?” she asked, her hand travelling up to her subordinate’s jaw.

 

Junyou slipped an arm down around her hips, her fingers probing the small of her back.

 

“In the past my lips were sealed. Now, I am for you alone,” she said, and meant it.

 

The woman took a deep breath, inhaling Junyou’s scent.

 

“Then become mine,” she commanded.

 

Their bodies clashed, falling down to the tatami beneath. They rolled and clawed and kissed and groped. Each was lost in the spin of the other.

 

Sensations multiplied and bore her down as Junyou felt lips taste her neck, a hand fondled her breast and fingers probed the inside of her thigh. Too much at once, but it was a gleeful concern.

 

She found that there were parallels to violence; to tend to a lover’s flesh the way one desired to rend an enemy. The passion and intensity remained the same. It fired her blood.

 

Her nails scored her lover’s back and drew faint lines of red. Ayana gasped and then redoubled her efforts to overwhelm her assailant. Junyou’s back arched and she hissed as teeth gouged the same breast that had merely been teased before. Now lips encircled the tip, a tongue playing with the hardened nub as teeth began to nip at it. One hand affixed to her hip as another began to explore deeper.

 

She fought back, wrapping her legs around Ayana’s waist and thrusting herself forward. Her hands threaded through the gossamer veil of her skin. She plunged her face into the midnight dark of Ayana’s hair, her lips seeking purchase anywhere and everywhere.

 

She took everything she could and held nothing back in return.

 

It rolled over her in waves. The euphoria rushed up her spine and spiked into her head. She felt alive. For the first time in forever.

 

She had found it. She had grasped it. What had eluded her for so long. For lifetimes.

 

At long last, it was hers. 

Chapter 3: Everlasting Fractures

Though she wanted to lean back in her chair and rub the drowsiness from her eyes, Leander sat up straight behind her desk, keeping her gaze alert and her smile fixed in politeness; radiating out to anyone in the waiting room who looked her way.

 

Behind her, the incessant clacking of keyboards reminded her that she had plenty of her own paperwork to do; it always did, drifting in from an adjoining room behind her desk. The six staff members housed in that room received, processed and issued all pertinent information to and from this office; functioning as a vital link between the commander and the rest of the base.

 

To Leander’s right, an ornate set of double doors opened and two men walked out, identified as psychiatric analysts by the pale red sashes both wore.  

 

“Please have these documents uploaded to the server. Forward on the marked notes to the archive staff as well, please,” one of them said, approaching her desk.

 

Leander nodded, offering a neat smile as she took the offered documents. 

 

“Of course. Will there be anything else?”

 

The man hesitated for a few moments and, grudgingly, she noticed the unasked question colouring his face. It was the same one everyone was hesitating to ask. The one that Leander was trying to avoid attempting to answer at all costs.

 

“Well then, I’ll see that these are dealt with immediately.” She swung away, evading any further probing by swiftly delivering the documents to the office behind her. 

 

She dropped them onto the nearest desk for sorting, occupied by a young clerk named Cindy.

 

“Any updates?” she murmured under her breath, briefly cocking an eyebrow in Leander’s direction.

 

“Nothing yet,” The cruiser replied with equal discretion and her ever-present easy smile.

 

Leander moved back to her desk, relieved to see that the analysts had left without any further prompting.

 

She glanced around the room; opposite her desk and against the far wall was a line of padded leather benches reserved for visitors waiting to see the commander. The cruiser took note of each visitor in-turn, all officers of various departments across the port. She could read the tension on some faces, alongside the quizzical glances on others.

 

The former concerned the state of command. After the death of the last Commander, during the disastrous Cook Islands campaign, Azur Lane HQ had selected a group of the remaining officers to command the base, dealing with any major decisions collectively, while handing the day-to-day affairs of the base in a monthly rotation; each officer occupying the office to Leander’s right in-turn. This was to continue until HQ deigned to select or transfer a new commander. 

 

That was nearly eight months ago. Between then and now, HQ’s specified method of management had proven to be an unpopular and ineffective system; a sense of indecision beginning to boil over as the weeks passed. And it had only been compounded over time by increasingly sparse communications from NY City. 

 

Added to this was the relatively recent arrival of Commander Ryoma, from Arctic Outpost, who had demanded to be incorporated into this fragile system of egos. This had been a difficult proposition to argue against, since she was technically the highest-ranking officer on-site; a base commander , but unverified at Pacific South.

 

And disliked. Though now disliked was quickly becoming disparaged with each passing day that Commander Ryoma refused to give up her command to the next officer waiting in-line…

 

The intercom on Leander’s desk buzzed, pulling her out of her momentary reverie.

 

“Send the next one in.” Ayana Ryoma’s voice slithered through the speaker.

 

The head secretary fingered the intercom on her desk, scanning the waiting faces for a few moments, considering her options, before buzzing her reply.

 

“Your… Guest is waiting for you, commander.”

 

“I don’t see anyone special on the schedule,” came the abrupt reply.

 

Leander allowed herself a rare, and very brief grimace. Not for the first time today, she wondered how on earth she was going to keep the peace when Ryoma was so intent on stretching it to breaking point. Steeling herself, she let her gaze rove the room, hanging on the same figure that had attracted, and was still attracting a series of quizzical looks, the S pecial Guest in question; the Sakura light carrier, Junyou.

 

She sat apart from the others in one corner of the room, eyes digging into the far wall, occasionally turning to glare at anyone who made the mistake of glancing at her for more than a second or two (of which, there were plenty).

 

The Navy girl buzzed through again. “No, but I understand you invited her-”

 

“She can wait. Send in the next sycophant.” No room for argument.

 

Leander gritted her teeth. “Of course.”

 

The cruiser released the intercom slowly, dreading what might come next.

 

“Lieutenant Melville?” She called out.

 

A young man cocked his head, glancing her way.

 

“Commander Ryoma will see you now.”

 

The man nodded and swiftly made his way into the office.

 

Leander kept Junyou in the corner of her vision. The carrier narrowed her eyes and glared at the receptionist, but remained silent. Leander breathed a light sigh of relief.

 

Ticking time bomb that she was, Leander didn’t dislike the woman. Far from it, she actually pitied her. Whether she realised it or not, there was a reason she was being kept waiting in a clear line of sight; Leander was still guessing the exact reason, but she had settled on some form of provocation for now. 

 

As to why; yesterday, a group of grim-faced men; two senior officers from the Admiralty and several guards, had strode straight through the waiting room and on into the commander’s office. The cruiser had expected fireworks, quickly ushering everyone else out of the connected rooms. Not that anyone had needed any encouragement, they could all smell the blood in the air. 

 

Considering the carrier’s presence in light of that, she would even hazard a guess at intimidation being the motive… But surely not, for that was an extremely perilous path to tread for someone from the Admiralty. Still, if there was anyone who would do it and anyone who could…

 

Leander had come to learn, along with plenty of other staff, that Commander Ryoma was to be treated with the utmost caution. The woman was resourceful and calculating but appeared capricious. She was adept at portraying care and, most of all, skilled at spreading divisiveness and depicting unity.

 

Thus, it should not have come as a shock when yesterday, several silent minutes after the armed group had entered Ryoma’s office, they had walked out of the office, equally grim-faced, and back into the depths of the base just as swiftly as they had arrived. 

 

The fact that Ryoma had sent a group of men intending to remove her running, without even raising her voice, confirmed Leander’s suspicion that this officer was of a different ilk from her colleagues. A Viper , was the secretary’s prevailing image.

 

And then today, the appearance of Junyou reaffirmed it with a chilling certainty.

 

The secretary had learned of their relationship several weeks ago by accident. She had been working late and had received a delayed tactical report from the defence fleet. In command at the time, Ayana had informed her that she should be kept up-to-date with the fleet’s movements at all hours. As such, Leander had made the trip to her private quarters to deliver the report and relay any immediate commands. 

 

It was there that she had come across Junyou and Ayana in the process of parting. The secretary had pulled back, watching the scene; Junyou was hesitating, clearly reluctant to leave. She kissed Ayana relentlessly, intertwining their arms, trading whispers and touches. Leander had seen the devotion twisted by need in her eyes. All-consuming to the point of agony.   

 

Easy as the woman was to dislike, she clearly did comprehend affection beneath the ice of her glare. Leander had tried hard to remember that as the other visitors came and went; Junyou always left waiting, her patience visibly fraying until it hung by a thread.

 

Finally, as they were approaching lunchtime and with her schedule clear, Commander Ryoma buzzed through to request Junyou’s presence. The carrier hopped to her feet when her name was called. She scowled at the Navy cruiser as she approached the double doors, making it clear who she blamed for her long, long wait.

 

That landmine disarmed for now, Leander busied herself with paperwork until Cindy came to relieve her for her lunch-break; something of a novelty for a fleet girl, the cruiser always mused.

 

Leaving the waiting room, she paused in the corridor outside and felt a wave of relief pass through her; waiting for her on the other side of the corridor was Brooklyn. She took in the Eagle Union cruiser with an appreciative gaze; she was wearing a white blouse that peeked out beneath a form-fitting navy suit jacket and pencil skirt combo. 

 

Leander found herself threatening to blush.

 

“Want to take a photo?” Brooklyn glanced up and shot the secretary a wry smile.

 

“S-sorry,” Leander stuttered, pacing over to the other woman and reaching out to touch her wrist discreetly.

 

“I’ll let you off for now. I’ve heard the rumours; sounds like you’re having a rough day,” she murmured into her companion’s ear.

 

Leander gave an almost imperceptible nod and leaned in a little more, enjoying the closeness as she slowly breathed in the scent of the diplomat. 

 

Brooklyn worked in the office on the floor below; Diplomatic Relations . Though that was something of a misdemeanour; there was really only Azur Lane and a loose confederation of land-locked city-states left in the world. There weren’t so many arguments to defuse when survival was at stake. Instead, Brooklyn and her division were tasked with handling affairs between the factions stationed at Pacific South. A task of the utmost delicacy considering that the base housed the largest contingent of Royal Navy and Ironblood anywhere in Azur Lane.    

 

“Well, let’s get some air. Maybe I can find a way to help you relax,” the Union cruiser teased with a dry chuckle.

 

Leander hushed her, but allowed herself to be led away towards a stairwell at the end of the corridor. She was lulled enough that she missed the sight of an elevator pinging open opposite her office and then a column of armed guards filing out.

 

 

***********

 

 

There was a distinct lack of a high. Still, it felt good to do things the old-fashioned way.

 

Junyou stepped forward, her knee firing up into the groin of one man. As he bent over, she shot a tight uppercut that rocked his jaw. Slipping forward, she hooked her ankle behind his and then launched the palm of her hand into his face, flipping him over.

 

The guard twisted at gross angle as he landed, folding in upon himself. He twitched but didn’t move. Junyou looked on in approval. 

 

His comrades stared at her shock. It took a moment before they started to fan out. She had taken the first one by surprise, supposedly safe in the knowledge that she couldn’t hurt him.

 

So much for that. 

 

Junyou couldn't resist a slight grin.

 

“You know what to do,” Ayana informed her from behind her desk.

 

The carrier stepped forward again. She hoped that the others wouldn’t succumb so easily; she wanted to show off her worth. 

 

A guard suddenly approached her directly, bringing an electronic rifle to bear. Rather than attempt to evade in such close quarters, Junyou thrust the palm of her hand into the rifle’s muzzle as he sighted her, slamming the rifle-butt back into the guard’s face. Stunned, he shuffled back, losing his grip on his gun. Junyou caught it, wrenched it from his hands and then swiftly swung the barrel down against the man’s skull. There was a sickening crack before he fell limply to the ground.

 

Maybe a bit too much.

 

She dismissed the rare concern as the remaining two guards wisely decided to keep their distance either side of her, clearly planning to pincer her with raised batons. Junyou waited, letting them flank her. When they attacked, the man on her left moved an instant before the other; she caught his wrist and stepped inside to evade the other blow coming from behind in one smooth motion. She gripped the guard’s triceps, and then lifted him into the air before bringing him crashing down on top of his comrade.  For a moment, the guard who landed on top tried to rise; his body tensed and then slowly faded as acute nausea dashed his consciousness away.

 

Junyou surveyed the scene. Four men down but no blood. It felt good, if a little underwhelming; her hands were still.  She looked up at the analyst standing off to one side of Ayana's desk.  His face was pale, his eyes disbelieving. The coward tried to run. She reached out, hooking her fingers around the pale red sash of his uniform. Dragging him back, her other hand encircled his throat. Yes, she remembered this one. There had been more than a few evaluations over the years, she remembered the oozing condescension well. The hate she harboured for this particular overseer gave her a little extra kick. 

 

“Bring him here.”

 

Junyou obeyed, though she allowed herself a little mirth; lifting the man up as she choked him. His throat gurgled and spluttered with raw panic.

 

Such a sweet sound.

 

She slammed him down on the desk, holding him there firmly.

 

“How… Can you… Do… This…? The failsafe…” his voice rattled, eyes bulging as the words tumbled out.

 

Junyou grinned, baring her teeth.

 

“You should know, Good Doctor . When you do anything for long enough, the distinctions lose their value. Don’t tell me you didn’t see that coming?”

 

The analyst just gazed at her in horror, mouth distorted and crooked as it rasped.

 

Ayana leaned over the prone figure. “It takes an even hand, you see.” She gestured briefly to the carrier.

 

Junyou looked up, gazing fondly upon her lover. Ayana let her gaze linger a moment before returning to her captive.

 

“Now. You’re going to tell me everything. And then, if I deem that you've proven useful, I’ll allow you to scurry back to your fellow schemers.”

 

“You’re unhinged,” the man rasped. Junyou tightened her grip. “HQ won’t… Accept…” he croaked.

 

“They know everything that’s happening here.”

 

“…Lying!”

 

“I’m not. Now, tell me who organized this little coup.”

 

Junyou loosened her grip, allowing him to answer.

 

“I did. What do you think-”

 

Ayana shook her head and sighed, eyeing Junyou with intent.  The carrier pushed her thumb against the man’s windpipe, strangling him.

 

“That’s just not good enough, I’m afraid. Mr…” Ayana reached down and plucked the I.D. badge pinned to his smock. “Mr. Montgomery. Hmm… I should have known that. I find it deeply irritating when I forget important details. I’m sure a man of your privilege and position feels the same…”

 

She picked up a letter-opener from her desk and placed the flat of the blade against his face, near an eye. Junyou let the man breathe again.

 

“And I feel confident that we can both better ourselves going forward. That’s why I’m going to give you a second chance to remember who sent you here.”

 

“Nothing… To say…” he gasped.

 

Ayana tapped the blade against his face, edging it closer to his eye. An eye that was rolling to one side, fixated on the tip of the blade.

 

“Whoever it is, they’re just using you.  A shield. Surely you can understand, Mr. Montgomery. You stand upon a precipice; you can die for a traitor who will shortly follow you, or you can opt to…” She slid the blade again, now over the edge of the socket and just barely above the eye. Slowly, she lifted it so that the tip of the blade hovered just above the pupil. “…To Live.”

 

Junyou could feel the fear course through the analyst, turning his muscles limp between spasms. He visibly paled as his gaze switched between certain-death and possible-mercy, trying to distinguish which was which.

 

He looked hard enough and made the sensible choice.  And then, after Ayana heard everything she wanted to hear, she granted mercy.

 

Afterwards, as she hoisted him to his feet and escorted him to the exit, Junyou found an irrepressible toothy grin marking her face. Opening the door, she loosened her grip on the collar of his smock. He turned to her, a primal fear contorting his features with the awesome knowledge that what he had fought was harmless had just been dormant.

 

“You should know. There are others like me. Unhinged .” She smiled.

 

He began to tremble as he gaped at her.

 

“ Killers will kill . Make a note of that before our next session.”    

 

She shoved him out of the door and then slammed them shut before turning back to her commander.

 

Together at last. No more interruptions.

 

She strolled over to her desk. Ayana watched her cat-like grace with an unreadable gaze.

 

“Good work.”

 

“Thank you.” Junyou smiled, genuinely.

 

One of the guards on the floor groaned. Ayana switched her gaze to the aftermath of the carrier's handiwork.

 

“Take care of them, would you?”

 

Junyou cocked an eyebrow.

 

“To the medical bay,” she clarified after a weighty moment’s consideration.

 

 

**********

 

 

Kiyonami felt like a fraud. 

 

In a moment of supremely blind hope, she had asked Smalley if she wanted to visit the Sakura dormitory after academy classes. Shock had left her speechless when her crush had accepted. It was during this lull that it occurred to her that she had absolutely no idea of what to do next. The slow walk across port to her dorm did not help. Instead, as they walked her mind floundered further; a slow, poisonous panic pumping through her veins. All she could think about was how Smalley seemed so much more put together than her; more mature and less prone to anxiety. If anything, all of her own faults only stood out more by contrast…

 

She’ll laugh at my stuffed toys. I’m just a child. Eagle Union and Sakura don’t mix, what if the others throw Smalley out and then she hates me forever… What if Jun-chan is there!?

 

She barely kept a lid on it, hiding her worries behind a fragile smile and praying that her companion wouldn’t notice. The closer they came to their destination, the worse it got; she shivered each time Smalley turned to glance her way, running her silent but perceptive eyes over her.

 

Thankfully, after Kiyonami had ushered her guest inside the courtyard, they encountered Fusou and Yamashiro.  She always found the company of the elder priestess comforting, and she was beyond relieved to see her now.  Besides, Fusou had made a friend with a member of the Eagle Union, so that surely made it okay, the little destroyer assured herself. She had seen them talking together; Fusou and the pale-skinned brooding woman who looked just as scary as Junyou, especially whenever she caught sight of Kiyonami in the Union dorms with Smalley and Stanly. But that changed when in the Sakura dreadnought's company; something approaching a smile had adorned her lips on the occasions the destroyer had spied them together. As for Yamashiro, she went mad with curiosity the moment she spotted them. She peppered them with rapid-fire questions that Kiyonami could barely fend off, growing more and more embarrassed with each poke and prod. Smalley didn’t respond, and she began to worry that the blond destroyer found the attention irritating. Distracted by her worries, she wasn't prepared for Yamashiro's next impulse; suddenly picking the Sakura destroyer up, slotting her into place on her shoulder and proceeding to run laps around the courtyard at a break-neck pace until Kiyonami’s wails forced a chastising Fusou to intervene.

 

When they had regained their footing, Smalley had smiled for the first time since arriving.

 

“I like you, Yamashiro,” she said, voice tinged with faint laughter.

 

That set the battleship off again; hollering in delight before lifting the Eagle Union destroyer onto her shoulders and taking off for another set of laps; a horrified Fusou and Kiyonami in-pursuit. Finally, after Smalley had been retrieved from her impromptu ride, she requested to see Kiyonami’s room. The Sakura destroyer had acquiesced, buoyed by Fusou informing her that Junyou was out. 

 

And that led to her current predicament; sitting on the floor of her room next to Smalley, totally void of any methods to entertain her guest. 

 

Not that she hadn’t tried up until now.

 

First, she had shown off her stuffed toys in desperation. Smalley had politely observed, listening to her babble through the history of each one; where she had obtained it, who gave it to her, how long it had been in her possession. Next came the ploy of working on their homework together; writing a tactical summary of a naval battle they had been studying in class. Tactics were one of Kiyonami’s many weak points at the academy, and she greatly appreciated Smalley’s help; her clinical assessment once again proving that the Union destroyer had a fine understanding of the battle lines and reading between statistics.  Assignment complete, Kiyonami found the familiar creep of dread once again eclipsing her mind; she couldn’t think of anything to do or say. She needed something impressive … Or just something to disavow how childish she had already proven herself to be.

 

She probably just wants to leave. I should make an excuse… Give up…

 

But she didn’t want Smalley to go. 

 

She didn’t.

 

And her frustrations burned hot for her inability to be charming or appear mature…  

 

The Union destroyer suddenly pointed. “What’s that?” 

 

Kiyonami blinked, startled for a moment before she looked to where Smalley was pointing; a tear in the tatami that formed a hole in the floor.

 

“Oh… Jun-chan did that. She was… A-angry…” Kiyonami stammered. She didn’t want to think back but the memory pervaded.

 

It was after her visit to the commander’s office. She had wanted to talk to Junyou; to tell her that Hiyou might be coming back, but the destroyer had hesitated; first coloured by fear and then distracted by curiosity; the carrier had been looking at an old box of rusted metal with the strangest expression. By some instinct, Kiyonami knew that interrupting her then would be a bad idea; so she stood just beyond the ajar-door, watching silently. It had proven to be the right decision; vindicated when the rage came; startling and terrifying. But she saw the misery there, something so bare and lonely and weathered; someone on the verge of breaking. And so, even through the almost-overwhelming grip of fear, she pushed forward, thinking that perhaps her news might cheer Junyou up. After all, she had made a new friend; Leander, and she had told Kiyonami that her friends would be very proud of her for trying to bring Hiyou back. And the secretary had been so nice and kind; Kiyonami knew that she must have been right; that it would make everyone happy. 

 

Instead, it had done the exact opposite. And she had learnt about Real Fear… She shuddered.

 

“Lots of people are afraid of your friend.”

 

Kiyonami snapped back to the moment to find Smalley looking directly at her. Flustered, she looked down at Hoppy to hide her face. The toy rabbit was perched on her lap, its button-eyes staring back at her, recalling the ferocity of that day.

 

“Colorado said I shouldn’t go near her.”

 

“Y-yeah… But she’s not… S-she’s very sad.”

 

“Why?”

 

“It was before. Before you came here… We went to f-fight the Sirens but it didn’t go well and I lost so many friends. It was bad, r-really bad,” she blurted out, trying not to focus on the faces in her memory. “But Jun-chan… She lost the most important person to her, and she tried to save her… She…”

 

“She couldn’t?”

 

“No one knows why. We all thought she was d-dead. I saw it… The shell went through her… And then she was all alone. That’s why I have to be her friend even if she’s mean sometimes, because Hi-chan asked me to… And Jun-chan… She’s… Inside she’s not like everyone says…”

 

It took her a few moments to realise she was crying. She began to shake as the past year reverberated through her mind. The people who had to go away… The people that had been left behind; changed forever…

 

An arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her close. She tried to look up but only saw the blue of Smalley’s jacket, and felt the warmth of her embrace.

 

“You’re very kind. I’m glad I met you.”

 

Kiyonami wanted the tears to stop but she didn’t want Smalley to let her go. Inside, she felt twisted to the point of snapping; the past spoke of sadness while the future beckoned her with something new and inviting.

 

Go to sleep, and in the morning everything will change.

 

She wanted to stay there forever, wrapped up warm in Smalley’s embrace. But more than that, the memory of Junyou’s rage wouldn’t fade. She knew why the woman grieved, but there was something more… She was sure of it.

 

The box.

 

Kiyonami looked across the room, to the sliding doors of the closet set into the wall. She gripped Hoppy tightly and pushed her face into Smalley’s jacket, smudging the tears on her cheeks.

 

“I need your help,” she whispered.

 

 

**********

 

 

Leander groaned and opened her eyes. Her vision blurred, urging her to go back to sleep, but she persisted, focusing on the sleeping face on the pillow across from her. Brooklyn looked so calm and composed, even when she slept. Leander couldn’t help but just gaze for a while. Eventually she half-rolled over, still entangled in her partner’s arms. Though dark outside, a nearby digital clock told her that it was still reasonably early.

 

Today had been a draining affair. She still wasn’t quite sure what to make of what she had returned to after her break; Junyou dragging limp and unconscious guardsmen from the office to the infirmary. The carrier had paused to smile grimly at the secretary…

 

I had to deal with some unwelcome guests.

 

It should have been impossible for a member of the fleet to hurt a human. She had heard scattered stories and rumours; killing by direct orders, psychiatric breakdowns and veterans growing numb to their failsafe. As she pieced them together from memory, she found the portrait of someone capable of this violence fit Junyou alarmingly well. The shock still loomed large, and she hadn’t told anyone else. It would only sow seeds of panic, she reasoned. Still, it scared her more than she was willing to admit. Commander Ryoma was drawing a deep line in the sand; one that couldn’t be retreated over once crossed, even once this particular power struggle was resolved.

 

At the end of her shift, and given the multitude of woes that had worn her down, she allowed Brooklyn to lead her back to the Eagle Union dormitory. Then, in a total collapse of Navy protocol, she allowed Brooklyn to sweet-talk her into staying over, for the second day running. Her absence would be noted and they would be frowning back home, no doubt about that. Although there was a strong bond between the Royal Navy and Eagle Union, there was still some snobbishness here and there. However, as she considered her actions, that wasn’t what bothered her. Instead, she found her thoughts dwelling more heavily on her sisters. Two days without Leander’s supervision; who had Achilles mortally insulted? What sinister scheme(s) had Ajax hatched? 

 

At this point it was almost certainly worth staying away. And besides, she thought as she turned back to Brooklyn; to simply lay in her embrace was so very tempting… What a wonderful life it would be to give in to every one of her lover’s temptations.

 

Sadly, her position, both within her family and her faction, prevented such idyllic fantasies. 

 

Brooklyn’s limbs were stubborn as she tried to untangle them both. Not so much in the unrelenting way, more in how soft, smooth and inviting they felt brushing against Leander’s. Finally on her feet, she crept away. She had fallen asleep in her uniform, so at least the final step of her departure was swift.

 

Exiting the dormitory, she couldn’t help but look back one last time. She could pick out Brooklyn’s window, on the second floor of the building, without a moment’s hesitation. The light was off; her escape had been successful. 

 

She couldn’t help but wish it hadn’t.

 

 

**********

 

 

She was sprawled across the bed, her head resting against the pale skin of Ayana’s stomach. She felt satisfied, that’s what she told herself. Over and over. Their sex had started wild; aggressive tendencies overflowing with desire. Crashing against each other, pushing and pulling through something primal; on the other side they saw different shades of each other. 

 

A woman who demanded raw gratification for her deeds. 

 

A woman who craved something she couldn’t conceive.

 

Gradually, they were blinded; consumed by themselves instead of each other. Touches and groans became shallow; traces and echoes of memories. Junyou felt it, like something tumbling from her grasp; in the way Ayana’s skin was so cold and unresponsive to touch, how she began to manoeuvre the carrier around like a tool to get off on. 

 

Afterwards, she fell into a groove amongst the sheets. Ayana was a narrow line beside her, silent and still. They were almost glad to have fallen out of each other’s arms. She held her tongue and closed her eyes. She had learnt a few things about her commander over the last few weeks; the most important lesson concerned her temper. It had two sides; one to be unleashed out in the open, another to seethe in private. The former was ruthless, sometimes bombastic for effect, and always intimidating. The latter… She was well-tutored in the latter now; a sheet of glass you could look through and miss, brittle before it shattered into a thousand pieces. Shards of glass that would dig in and bleed you dry. Junyou looked up and shuddered; Ayana’s gaze was divided; a cold blue eye stared straight ahead, off into the unseen distance. The other, warmer in colour, was aimed directly at her.

 

She is both watching and not watching me.

 

She felt the foreign sensation of fear course down her spine, making her stiffen and wrap her arms around her chest.

 

After a few moments Ayana sighed, her gaze syncing.

 

“That’s a bad habit. I’m sorry.” Her voice seemed to echo from a far-off place.

 

A hand caressed Junyou's shoulder. The carrier relaxed slightly, lifting herself up and bringing herself level with her lover.

 

“Is it artificial?” she prompted, gazing at the unnatural eye.

 

Ayana gave a slight nod.

 

“What happened?”

 

“A few years ago… I was on a prototype carrier, just a junior officer then. Sirens attacked while I was inspecting the engine room. There was an explosion. I tried to pull a crewman clear and got a face-full of fire for my troubles.”

 

Junyou studied the officer as she spoke. She could just barely make out a few slight and faded lacerations around the eye. She had never noticed them before.

 

“They did a remarkable job on my face, but the eye was boiled. The Admiralty suggested I try something new.” She tapped the skin just below her aqua-hued eye.

 

“Is it special?”

 

“Yes.”   

 

“How?”

 

Ayana gazed at her for a few moments, her face passive. Junyou wondered if she had overstepped her mark with the question.

 

“It tells me many things. About the fleet… About you.”

 

“Can it… Can it see that I’m broken inside?” She felt the urge to look away, but kept their gazes locked. She had never touched on her uselessness directly with Ayana.

 

“Yes. But not in the way you think.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“You’ll understand later. Rest for now.”

 

“Am I not…?”

 

“ Rest. ”

 

Junyou did as she bidden reluctantly, letting her head fall back onto a pillow. She watched her commander but found remarkably little there to consider; a reflection staring back at her. Impenetrable.

 

A machine can’t understand a human.

 

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the faint warmth that emanated from the woman beside her. She had always found it difficult to sleep in front of anyone else; an intense dislike of ever leaving herself vulnerable before another person. Hiyou had been an exception. Kiyonami was bearable, though she still often laid awake throughout the night when they shared a room. Oddly, she didn’t have quite the same problem with Ayana; sleep always lulled her without concern. At first, she told herself it was because she wasn’t defenceless when enfolded within her lover’s arms, and that sufficed. Tonight, however, a voice crept into her ear as she tilted on the verge of slumber; it told her that she could sleep because she was alone in this woman’s company…

 

She awoke an hour later, startled by a dream that was already evaporating from memory. Open skies, a Sakura fighter gliding alongside her… Something so familiar in the shifting winds. 

 

Words… A warning. She tried to recall but it had already floated away.

 

Looking up, she saw Ayana sitting in a chair across the room; her eyes glazed over as they peered through bay windows and into the blossoming night beyond.

 

Looking out to sea.  Same as ever.

 

She pushed herself up to her knees and let her head clear, eyes sharpening.

 

Waiting for someone else to return.

 

Ayana seemed to hear her awaken.

 

“Sweet dreams?”

 

“Moments with you,” she lied.

 

The faintest of smiles ghosted over Ayana’s lips.

 

“Sweet enough.”

 

Junyou rose and dressed. The distance between them seemed to tell her that it was time to leave. 

 

“You did well today. You moved like a dancer. It was quite captivating,” Ayana murmured.

 

The carrier nodded but said nothing.

 

“I’ll have a reward for you soon. A special task.”

 

“Whatever you need.”

 

Ayana nodded. "Good night.”

 

Suddenly she was a visitor and not a guest anymore. She tried to brush the thought from her mind as she slipped out into the night.

 

 

***********

 

 

“What is it?”

 

Junyou paused and listened through her door. She could hear Kiyonami…

 

“It looks old… Broken. And there’s some…”

 

…And Smalley.

 

She turned away. If she went inside she would only force them apart.

 

“What does it say?” The rustle of paper.

 

She couldn’t help but listen, their voices brushing against her ear as she considered her options. Not that she had any.

 

“It’s… I don’t understand… A letter to someone…”

 

What are they talking about?

 

Curiosity roused, Junyou pressed her ear back to the door. They were muttering and whispering to each other now; it was hard to catch any details. She pried at her sliding door, slowly working her nails around the edge and working a slight open. She peered through and froze.

 

A rush of blood. A whisper.

 

She opened the door and walked inside.

 

Immediately, Kiyonami pulled back in fear. Smalley just watched her impassively.

 

“I just… I-I… N-no, I can e-explain…” Kiyonami squeaked in panic.

 

Junyou ignored her for a moment, kneeling down next to the box. She quickly replaced the contents that had spilled out, only pausing on the last piece; a coarse and jagged plate of Hiyou’s former-self; a sliver of the far-past in her hand. A flame sparked inside, willing her to let it blaze.

 

The children watched, wary and waiting.

 

To the left was Smalley. She was still.

 

Ahead was Kiyonami. She was trembling.

 

To her right was… No. No. No. No. No. No. 

 

No. 

 

Jun…

 

No. 

 

She looked down at the cold metal. Dead twice, both at the bottom of the ocean now.

 

No. 

 

Don’t hurt them, Jun.

 

No. 

 

Her hand began to shake, the rotting black of the metal wavering in the faint lamplight.

 

No.

 

…Please don’t.

 

She looked up at Kiyonami. She must have been the architect of this desecration.

 

“Do you know what this is, little rabbit?” She waved the metal in the destroyer’s face. “Do you?”

 

Her voice was a harsh whisper, straining to contain everything bubbling within.

 

“N-no-”

 

“This is a piece of my sister. This is Hiyou’s body. The first one.”

 

Kiyonami reeled away, but her back came up against the far wall. She tried to look away. Junyou reached out, her free hand flashing through the air to clutch the destroyer’s jaw. She forced her to look at what she had unearthed.

 

“Somewhere out there, there are pieces of you. Just like this, rotting away on the ocean floor, stitched up with dead men. Would you like to find them?”

 

Kiyonami whimpered and tried to pull free, but Junyou kept hold of her, forcing her to meet her gaze.

 

Suddenly an arm lashed out, but Junyou was too quick; she let go of Kiyonami and slapped Smalley’s fist away before grabbing a fistful of her jacket. She dragged the girl close.

 

“What about you? Do you think there’s a piece of you out there?” She held a jagged edge up to defiant blue eyes.

 

“I thought you were our friend. But you’re Terrible .”

 

Her voice was blank until that last word. Junyou felt it, like a pin being pushed into her eye. Her grip slackened on the destroyer’s jacket; she had no argument.

 

All of a sudden, Kiyonami launched herself forward, shoving Smalley out of Junyou’s grasp. Scrambling to her feet, she grabbed the Eagle Union destroyer and dragged her away. Together, they fled the room in a whirl of frantic limbs and panicked gasps.

 

Junyou just watched, unmoving for several minutes after. 

 

“There’s nothing left of me. Not in the ocean. Not anywhere.”

 

I’m sorry. This is all my fault.

 

“No. It’s not.”

 

She felt a pair of phantom arms wrap around her shoulders.

 

Don’t give up.

 

Junyou closed her eyes. The flame inside spluttered and gave out, leaving her in the dark.

 

 

************

 

 

Leander was walking back towards the Navy dormitory when she heard a commotion; panicky footfalls and rasping breaths. She turned, and through the glow of a nearby streetlamp, she saw two young girls half-collapse onto a bench a few metres behind her. Concerned, she turned back and walked towards them. She scanned the distance, conscious of the fact that they had appeared to be running from something or someone.

 

She heard the smaller of the two girls cry. “You have to go! You’ll be safe with your friends.”

 

The taller girl straightened up and reached out to take her companion’s hand. “I can’t let you get hurt.”

 

“Please! Please don’t… I need you to- she’s only gonna come after me!”

 

“Girls, are you two okay? What’s wrong?” Leander asked as she approached them.

 

They both looked up and the Navy cruiser recognized them; the taller girl was an Eagle Union destroyer. She had been born from the bowels of the base several months ago. Leander had escorted her to the Union dormitory herself, along with Brooklyn. The smaller girl she remembered from a visit to her office several months ago; a sweet and innocent little thing who had been pining for her friend… She recalled how fragile her doe eyes had looked, strained by fear then as they were now.

 

Kiyonami.

 

Then it all came back to her. The destroyer had wandered into her waiting room, so obviously out of place; scared and alone. Leander had eventually coaxed the reason for her visit out of the destroyer. She hadn't been keen to take the child to the officer in charge at the time; nothing good would come from it. But as frightened as she had been, Kiyonami was adamant; she couldn’t leave without seeing the commander. Touched by her determination, Leander had eventually worked an opening between appointments and escorted the child into the office, ready to protect her at the first sign of derision or condescension. But the officer in charge at the time, a tired-looking middle-aged man, had listened quietly as the destroyer stuttered through her story. It was a familiar one; everyone had lost someone in the Cook Islands. The officer promised to look into the matter and Leander rewarded him with a fine smile; for as empty as the promise had undoubtedly been, he had still treated her grief with patience and care. That was more than most of their kind got.

 

As Leander got closer, she saw Kiyonami’s eyes light up in recognition. 

 

“Can you help my friend?” she asked.

 

“Of course. I can help both of you. Just tell me what happened.”

 

“I-I have to go. Just… Please, take Smalley home.”

 

“Wait a minute, sweetie. Why don’t you just talk to me for a moment?”

 

“No… No. I can’t.”

 

Suddenly the child broke into a run, swerving past Leander and disappearing into the beckoning night.

 

“Wait!” the cruiser called out in vain.

 

“We have to go after her.”

 

Leander turned back to find Smalley gripping her arm. 

 

“What happened to you two?”

 

Looking at the destroyer, she remembered the remarkably passive expression she had worn when they first met. Now, perhaps by contrast, she noticed fear strain and pull the girl’s eyes wide with remarkable clarity.

 

“Can you keep a secret?” Smalley asked in a quiet voice, after a few moments’ consideration.

 

“Of course.” Leander stroked the girl’s hair, forcing a smile. 

 

 

**********

 

 

No movement. Just breathing. She knew she would stop if she didn’t focus. 

 

What does it matter?

 

Was oxygen necessary?

 

Machines don't need to breathe.

 

Moments passed and the silence became so dense that it bowed her shoulders. She bore it with closed eyes. That shell arcing through the sky, she saw it. Her final charge; the intensity of the pain as it lanced through her breast, and into its true target. Nothing she could do, not even die; an unworthy sacrifice.

 

She felt a coldness creep into the room, the kind that froze blood and oil alike. She shivered and lashed out, nails scraping the tatami. Then something soft; she opened her eyes. Kiyonami’s rabbit was on the floor, discarded in panic. She reached out for it and wondered if the girl had realised yet. She would miss it when she did, her hands would feel hollow; the emptiness unfamiliar.

 

She got up and walked to the wardrobe. Ripping the door open, she found her katana where she had put it aside weeks ago. Looping it around her waist, she left the room.

 

A few paces out of the door and she was stopped in her tracks by a familiar foe, stood in the courtyard and observing with a by-now weary detachment. “The cause of any commotion,” she laughed in Junyou’s direction as the carrier appeared, fox-tails swishing.

 

Junyou stared warily as she kept clear of the courtyard, slowly pacing around her nemesis as she traversed the wooden walkway. The deathly-blue crystals of Kaga’s eyes followed her.

 

“Nothing to say?”

 

“Go back to sleep,” Junyou hissed between gritted teeth.

 

“You keep waking me up.”

 

Junyou stopped and wrapped the palm of her hand around the hilt of her katana.

 

“Why not draw and finish what you started?” Kaga asked.

 

She grinned with sharp teeth at the resulting silence.

 

“Or do you have someone else in mind?”

 

“Your name will always be on my blade.”

 

“I’m glad someone still thinks of me.”

 

“You think I won’t do it?”

 

“I think it’s all you can offer.”

 

“You’re no different,” Junyou sneered.

 

“Before. Now, mercy has humbled me. Opened my eyes. Now I can see clearly; it hangs on your heart as well.”

 

“As if. Pride was your downfall. And you’re even stupider than you look if you think I harbour mercy.” 

 

Kaga chuckled again. The sound made Junyou’s skin crawl; something so resigned there.

 

“We share a bond, you and I.”

 

“Not willingly.”

 

“We’ve both lost everything. And we didn’t even realise until it was gone.”

 

Junyou tried to speak, to fire a jibe back, but her mouth suddenly went dry.

 

“And we both understand what it’s like to be left behind. We know grief’s true name.”

 

“Killers kill.” Junyou found her voice.

 

Kaga just laughed quietly. Her eyes shone with growing mirth.

 

“It’s what we were made for. That will never change.” But Junyou felt the hollowness of her conviction quiver in her throat.

 

“Killers kill,” Kaga repeated with another rattling chuckle. “Until they die or they can’t. We both know which label fits us.” 

 

Junyou turned away. It was pointless to speak with this fool. She was long past due for scrapping. She shivered, but a surge of anger brought her back to her senses and propelled her to leave the dormitory without a backwards glance.

 

Mercy.

 

What a joke. The world wasn’t so colourful.

 

She let the thought go as she stepped out into the bay and… What?  What was she meant to do now? She was beyond adrift as the night swirled around her. Her hand brushed against the hilt of her Katana; the hilt didn't seem to fit her palm anymore; what was left of the blade was a parody of what it had once been.  Her fingers twitched almost painfully.  Instead, they touch the soft velvet of Kiyonami's toy once more.  She remembered manipulating the toy to spell out the destroyer's true feelings…

 

The sound of brisk footsteps brushed against her ear, shattering the void she had been slipping into. They were coming towards her along the pathway, she realised after a few moments. Glancing around, she noticed a slight gap between two nearby supply sheds. Without thinking, she moved closer, and after gauging that it was a reasonable hiding place, squeezed herself into the gap. Shortly afterwards, two figures came into view, one significantly bigger than the other. They paused to speak to each other and Junyou picked them apart; Smalley and that secretary, Leander…

 

Always so Nice.

 

Junyou held onto the sneer that crested her features; dislike was better than emptiness.  She listened in as the two began to speak.  She was too far away to catch their whispers in detail, but she could tell from their rasping tone that they were in some degree of distress. It was enough to deduce that Kiyonami was missing, and she had managed to hide herself away somewhere that her crush couldn’t pinpoint. As she waited for Leander and Smalley to move on again, she considered the problem. If she had left Smalley behind then the destroyer wouldn’t have gone anywhere with other people. They had surely already combed the beach, so that left…

 

This is a piece of my sister .

 

Junyou grimaced.  She hadn't been there in sometime… Kiyonami knew that. Her fingers brushed against the soft fur of the rabbit at her waist once more; she knew where its owner had gone with sudden certainty.

 

The searchers moved on.  Junyou looked up but waited a minute or two before easing herself out of her cover.  Without further consideration, she began to make her way towards the western edge of the base. She paused several times; Leander must have already alerted someone else, because Junyou began to spot other pairs of silhouettes fumbling through the night. On each occasion, she remained motionless in the shadows until the coast was clear. Then she continued on at the same unhurried pace.

 

At the base of the western hills, she paused to gaze up into the distance.

 

Mercy has humbled me.

 

Kaga’s words still lingered. She tried to shake them clear of her mind as she began the long climb.  

 

Now I can see clearly; it hangs on your heart as well.

 

Had she been merciful when she had beaten down those guards earlier today? Broken their bones and left them concussed; she had revelled in the dance; the first time with a human partner in so long… But she hadn’t killed one of them. Though, she reasoned, that was because Ayana wouldn’t have wanted bodies in her office.

 

That was what she told herself again and again as she continued to climb the steep slope.

 

We’ve both lost everything.  

 

Junyou shook her head and snarled, as if to throw the thought loose. It wasn’t true, even… Even though she was walking there now. Even though she had made herself stop going there .

 

I thought you were our friend. But you’re Terrible.

 

Yes. That was more like it. The Junyou everyone knew and avoided. It sounded so much sweeter coming from Smalley; usually so devoid of emotion; but the distrust had come to the forefront in that moment. Pure and reviling.

 

Finally, she cleared the hilltop and approached the cemetery. Looking up, she saw that the sky was still shrouded, but now the moon was starting to peek through; its creeping light painted her surroundings in vivid sketches. The graves were black markers, while the ground around them was bathed in sombre blue; it served to remind her of the hopelessness and futility that reigned here.

 

We know grief’s true name.

 

She forced herself to ignore the words that continued to cloud her mind as she walked on, passing faint reminders of fallen comrades, until she came to that one untended grave. Ivy stalked the pillar and weeds sprouted from the ground. It was all a waste. 

 

There was no one here. For a moment Junyou thought she had made a mistake, but then she looked up and saw a huddled figure out by the cliff edge behind the grave. With a parting glance at the false memorial, she walked over to the precipice and stared out over the ocean. There wasn’t anything to see. Just… Nothing.

 

She heard a whimper as Kiyonami became aware of her. Junyou glanced to her side, down at the child. She was squinting up at her senior with palpable terror that threatened to bow her head. 

 

“Are y-you going to k-kill me?”

 

Junyou idly wondered how many people had asked her that very same question. Or how many people had just thought about it. She reached down to her belt, but rather than her katana, she drew Hoppy clear. She tossed it to Kiyonami and watched as the girl caught it, a brief respite washing over her face as she held her constant companion.

 

“Why do you think that?” the carrier asked, her voice low and rolling up from the waves far below.

 

“Because I-I looked… I touched it…” She clutched her toy tightly.

 

“Just relics of the past. A past best forgotten.”

 

“B-but you said-”

 

“I’ve only ever told Hiyou this…” She wasn’t sure why the memory suddenly came to mind. It came from the furthest place. So distant from this tiny dying island. “…I remember a time, just barely, when I wasn’t made to kill. I was going to take people to different places, glide across the ocean… But then the others sank and they needed more death so they twisted me. Hiyou too.”

 

She removed her katana from her belt, still-sheathed, and held it out over the edge of the cliff. “They gave me a purpose, and I’ve never regretted it. Not until now.”

 

“W-why?”

 

“Because I’ve lost the only person who understood. And I can’t make anyone else understand. I can’t do anything.”

 

She let go.

 

The blade came loose of its sheath. Glimmering against the sea as it sailed through the night. Fading into the eternal waves below.

 

There was no sense of relief.

 

She sat down, and was surprised to hear Kiyonami shuffle closer rather than flee.

 

“Do you know what the kindest thing my sister ever did for me was?”

 

“What?”

 

“When I told her about all of that… She pretended she didn’t remember the same feeling. She let me have it, and let me believe it was those who built me who made me this way.”

 

“How do you know she was pretending?”

 

Junyou laughed. A bitter sound.

 

“It was so obvious. Think about how different she was from me. She kept that part of herself; the peace, the laughter and the light. She remembered more than me, but she didn’t let blood temper her the way I did… She had clemency from the killing.”

 

She felt two small hands reach out and encircle her arm, hugging her tightly. The warmth was startling; she began to shake.

 

“…She protected me from myself…”

 

She felt childish tears begin to soak through the fabric of her sleeve.

 

“…And I couldn’t protect her from a single shell.”

 

She felt something she had never felt before; something broken inside, the shards of her wisdom cube reverberating and giving way to something no machine could comprehend.

 

“Now I understand; I am alone.”

 

“You’re not!” Kiyonami reared up. “We’re friends, I promise! We’re True Friends. I loved Hi-chan and I love you, Jun-chan.”

 

As the child collapsed against her. Junyou wrapped her up in her arms.

 

“Love is pure,” she whispered. “And then, Love is poison.”

 

“No! No!” Kiyonami wailed into the carrier’s tunic. “You’re wrong!”

 

She stroked the girl’s hair. The silk ties around her rabbit ears tickled her palms.

 

Mercy. Hanging on your heart.

 

Junyou closed her eyes and wished she was somewhere else. That Kiyonami could be here with the person she needed. That they both needed.

 

Hours passed. Dawn broke.

 

Kiyonami was asleep in her arms. She heard footsteps rustle the grass behind them; Leander and Smalley. It barely registered.

 

Inside, for the first time, she felt truly drained. The hate and the anger had vanished. The ocean just rolled, the tide sweeping in, and then out.

Notes:

We'll be catching up with the events of Tirpitz's story in the next chapter, and moving onto the aftermath. Hopefully I'll get it done by the end of the year.

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 4: Everyone Deserves To Die

She was shaking, Junyou heard the tumbler in her companion’s hand clatter lightly against her teeth as she took another sip. The carrier glanced sideways at Ayana, before returning her gaze to the enormous window behind the commander’s desk and the bay beyond.

 

Barely two hours had passed since the Siren’s retreat and Tirpitz’s return.  Wounded but victorious; the base was euphoric, the atmosphere almost palpable through the staff and fleet’s collective relief. After the last of her orders were given, Ayana had withdrawn to her office, where Junyou awaited her, to exhale her own tension in private.

 

“You’re our leader now,” Junyou stated the obvious, if only to calm the nerves of the woman standing beside her.

 

Ayana nodded, just slightly at first, then a little too vigorously; she was still coming down. “The Admiralty will have to accept my command without hesitation now. Everything fell into place… Even what I couldn’t account for.”

 

Staring at her own reflection in the window, she took a deep shuddering breath and peered deeply.

 

“And Bismarck performed well above expectations,” she added after a few moments.

 

Junyou gave a slight nod, unsure of exactly what expectations they were reviewing.

 

“Most importantly, you held your nerve. You won the day.”

 

Ayana nodded and took another long sip of whiskey.

 

“You’re right. I suppose it’s… Been a while. I feel worn out. I have to admit it,” she blurted, cheeks aflush.

 

“Congratulations,” Junyou murmured as she gazed out, first into open skies above the bay, and then down to the clear waves which depicted distorted reflections.

 

There were still some patrols dotted about out there; more to buy time for the docks to make space rather than overzealous caution; the maintenance crews were still overloaded, and would be for some time.

 

They both watched the horizon for a time. The silence was not exactly comfortable, but tolerable; a luxury neither ever readily turned down. In fact, it was a constant they had come to thrive upon over the past few weeks.

 

A dull thud. Junyou turned and saw that Ayana had dropped her now-empty tumbler to the carpeted floor; her hand trembling quite openly now from long-suppressed nerves. Junyou smoothly moved into place behind the officer and lightly placed her hands on her shoulders. She waited a moment and, when she met no resistance, began to slowly massage the taught muscles she found there. Gently at first, until she felt the woman shudder; then she let her fingers probe a little deeper.

 

“You’ve been distant lately,” Ayana said suddenly.

 

Does she ever switch off?

 

Junyou didn’t hesitate. “You never have to worry about me.”

 

There was no immediate reply, but the carrier knew it wasn’t over.

 

“You never talk about the past anymore.”

 

Junyou froze, her hands retreating to hover just above Ayana’s shoulders.

 

“I… We’re here… I am here for you now .”

 

Ayana turned, and Junyou was surprised to find a playfulness occupying her features. Without a word, she leaned forward and kissed her carrier on the lips.

 

Junyou stiffened in mild shock as Ayana’s tongue prodded at her lips. She let her in after a moment and felt the accompanying warmth threaten to envelop her. A chill ran over her shoulder as her commander pulled back; the ever-threatening discontent of separation. But she reconnected soon enough; peppering her subordinate with kisses, all over her face and neck.

 

“Do you mean it?” the question slipped out of its own accord between moans.

 

“I do,” the carrier murmured.

 

Junyou leaned back and then found herself being pushed down onto the desk. She didn’t put up any kind of fight. Soon a warm body pressed down firmly upon hers. Lips slick with saliva found the curve of her mouth again, locking into place. The tingle it sparked to life felt akin to their first time together, rather than the barren nights since. She found herself wondering how the woman above her could turn something so intangible on or off.

 

“Am I…” she gasped as their lips parted. “…Am I your…” her voice trailed; the words required to articulate her need were not forthcoming.

 

Ayana pulled back. The carrier felt the weight of her gaze falling down upon her, though it spoke of no displeasure. Instead, there was a flicker of understanding there.

 

“You never leave my thoughts.” The words rolled off of her tongue softly, so naturally.

 

Junyou’s hands found her waist, then they glided up until they gripped her uniform tightly. A moment later she pulled her down on top of her with burning desperation; to feel, to hold and be held.

 

A high’s a high. Just that.

 

That was the cynic in her. But the iciness was thawed with each touch and caress; she felt herself slip away into fantasy; that this bond was beyond human machinations; that there was a bigger reason why it was her only respite between restless days and sleepless nights. 

 

 

*************

 

 

Leander paced the hallway back-and-forth, a deeply worried frown creasing her features quite unnaturally. She paused as several fleet-girls appeared, walking out from the gaping maw of the maintenance bays. Looking up, her eyes raked the approaching group in strained hope. No good; a group of Royal Navy destroyers passed her by, waving as they went. Leander forced a threadbare smile to her lips and acknowledged them. Then she reset to type, as had been the cycle for the past half-hour.

 

“Can we go now?” Ajax asked, her tone thick with resignation.

 

Leander paused to glance at her sister; Ajax was leaning against the wall and watching her with a unique mix of irritation and concern.

 

“ You can go,” Leander murmured.

 

“Achilles is going to be fine. They’ll probably keep her in for a day or two. There’s no point in waiting here just for an engineer to tell us what we already know.”

 

Leander turned away and felt a touch of guilt bow her head; she was well aware of Achilles’s condition after fighting off the Sirens. Nothing too serious, she just needed a little time to get patched up. No, that wasn’t why she was waiting.

 

As if by some dire miracle, Ajax appeared to suddenly become aware of the misunderstanding between them. A crooked smile bent her lips.

 

“Ah, so it’s not big sister Leander who’s worried. It’s devoted girlfriend -”

 

“That’s enough,” Leander interrupted, the frayed state of her nerves giving her voice a shrill edge.

 

“Whatever you say. I’ll leave you to it.” Ajax shrugged, pushing off the wall. “But you shouldn’t worry. I’m sure she’s fine,” she added as she strolled away.

 

Leander watched her go and then began to pace again. Ajax was right; Brooklyn was as savvy on the battlefield as she was in the conference room. There was nothing to worry about; just a delay in the docks or a minor patch-up. 

 

Nothing to worry about.

 

It certainly didn’t strike her that way when the Navy cruiser caught sight of her Union counterpart; her entire body tensed up for a moment, as if the possibility of a mirage existed. Then, as their eyes met and Brooklyn gave a wiry smirk, she went limp with the accompanying wave of relief. It must have been apparent, because Brooklyn swept her up in her arms as they met, carrying her bridal-style. Several of the Union ships accompanying their squad leader began to cheer. Leander wanted to object, but she failed to emit more than a weak, incoherent mumble.

 

“Miss me?” came the husky whisper, rumbling pleasantly into her ear.

 

“Put me down… Please.” It was barely audible; let alone the demand she had intended.

 

She was cut off from further protest by a firm pair of lips pressing against hers and stealing her breath away.

 

The Union ships continued to whoop and holler as Brooklyn carried her tongue-tied lover through the base, from the docks to the briefing halls; there, a number of the fleet were hanging around, waiting for companions, news or a debriefing. Turning to identify the source of the approaching commotion, Ajax spotted Leander, and with an especially sinister smirk lining her face, she began to point and laugh; riling up the rest of the fleet. Leander melted deeper into Brooklyn’s arms, feeling her last sliver of modesty float out of grasp. She even spotted Duke of York, who had been conversing with Ajax, applaud politely with a rye smirk aimed her way. It occurred to the Navy cruiser that none of them actually knew why they were cheering or laughing; after the trials of today they were all just looking for an excuse; a signal to unburden themselves of repressed nerves and tension. To open up and enjoy a rare victory; it warmed her soul to find herself as the centrepiece of that outburst, even if it was an unwilling act.

 

Brooklyn carried her onward, glancing down every now and then with a grin that threatened to break out into an irrepressible smile whenever their eyes met.

 

“Did you like putting on a show?” Leander asked as she was carried out of the base, no regard for formality of procedure after the day’s travails.

 

“I liked showing you off,” Brooklyn replied. “But you can carry me next time,” She added with a sly wink.

 

Leander felt her cheeks flush an even deeper shade of red, if that was possible. She pushed her face into her lover’s chest and felt herself quiver. Inside, she felt it pulse; something so tender and beautiful.

 

They returned to the Eagle Union dormitory without any further disturbances. There they laid together until news of Colorado’s condition arrived, demanding Brooklyn’s attention.

 

 

************

 

 

Kiyonami stood on the beach and stared out to sea, still reeling. The tiny destroyer had been on the frontlines of the defensive perimeter when the main Siren fleet had approached, after the comm lines had been jammed again. The disarray hadn’t been so widespread today, but the fear and unease had been palpable all around, making her shiver and tremble as she unwillingly soaked it in. It had been especially difficult for the Sakura fleet; their first full battle since losing so many in the Cook Islands. As much as Kiyonami loved Fusou, she was beginning to realise that the woman wasn’t a leader by nature, nor a soldier by definition. She missed the fearless presence of Hiyou and Junyou most of all; she was sure most of them had their share of anxious moments today. Sendai was only one of them to carry a grim determination as they had all awaited the oncoming storm.

 

Then, as the enemy had drawn near, they heard a huge explosion from the distance; the mist that had been slowly creeping forward with the enemy offensive had dispersed in a sudden gust of wind. Within a moment, the encroaching eerily silent lines of the Sirens had fallen apart; quite literally, Kiyonami witnessed one drone simply sink into the ocean, as if its strings had been cut; its puppeteer suddenly having a change of heart and walking away.

 

The order to attack arrived shortly afterwards; they had surged forward then, sensing that the momentum had swung. Thankfully it had; within minutes the invading darkness had been split apart and devoured by the Pacific South defence fleet.

 

Afterwards, without really thinking, Kiyonami had sought out Smalley, grabbed hold of her hand and led her here. They hadn’t let go of each other since, and the destroyer could see the same detachment from reality reflected to a lesser degree in her crush’s eyes; from the point of no return to here; tipping from death to life… They were together again. Kiyonami decided that was the more important point as she tugged Smalley’s hand, pulling her closer before hugging her tightly, like a rock in the rapids.

 

Several other younger fleet members had joined them on the beach. Glancing around, Kiyonami saw several of her friends wandering around in a daze.     

 

“The Sirens ran when they heard the name Graf Zeppelin echo from the heavens!”

 

Kiyonami turned to see Zeppy swoop onto the shoreline, her cloak swirling dramatically behind her. That was, until she twirled one too many times and it looped over her head, covering her face. The child slipped in the sand as she thrashed about in sudden blindness. Her hat came loose as she rolled back-and-forth between screams of frustration.

 

The sight seemed to bring everyone on the beach back down to earth; laughter sprung up as agitated footsteps ceased. Even Kiyonami couldn’t quite hide her giggles as she and Smalley helped the mini-carrier back to her feet.

 

She decided to indulge the Ironblood. “You chased them off, Zeppy.” 

 

“O-of course!” Zeppy declared, regaining her footing and adjusting her uniform. “They knew their time had come,” she intoned grimly, pointing out to sea. “But not us…” She gestured to her companions across the beach. “…The defenders of humanity!” 

 

She paused again, to strike another pose. 

 

“We will live forever!”

 

They were all laughing now. After today, they felt it might even be true.

 

 

**********

 

 

Several days later, Junyou was gazing out of the same ornately-framed window she had been in the aftermath of the battle. Only now, the landscape she was surveying had been warped by a new, unsettling shade; a wall of dense white mist that bordered the horizon.  As she observed it, she couldn't help but feel that it was creeping closer; clipping the edges of the bay at its faintest points.

 

“The scouts have confirmed that it’s surrounding the islands. A complete ring,” a voice reported.

 

Behind the carrier, sitting at her desk, Commander Ryoma idly twirled a pen between her fingers as she cast half-glazed eyes across several waiting reports. Sat on the other side of the desk, several officers and members of staff waited for instructions.

 

“Hmmm… No word on any of the probes?”

 

“None have returned,” An engineer confirmed. “No uplink or data feed. I think we can count them as lost.”

 

Glancing over her shoulder, Junyou noticed that Ayana didn’t look at all perturbed. A peek at the visitors told her that none of them seemed to even register the carrier’s presence; she was part of the furniture at this point. She turned back to the ghostly white occupying the horizon.

 

“None of those production models we set on auto-pilot made it out… Or at least, they didn’t return. We still don’t even have a clue what it is…” another officer trailed. 

 

“According to Tirpitz, it’s a mirror sea,” Ayana supplied.

 

“If that’s true then why haven’t we seen any Sirens? And how has it manifested in such a wide pattern?  We've never seen one on this scale before.” That was Leon Melville, a young officer that Ayana had taken a likening to.  He did not direct his question to his superior directly, more openly to the room. 

 

“Perhaps they are trying to keep reinforcements out.  Regardless, more time is very much to our advantage at this point. The maintenance bays are finally starting to get some breathing room, correct?” Ayana glanced at Melville.

 

After a further moment’s consideration, he gave a half-nod.

 

“My guess is that they didn't expect us to take down that Oceana; it was quite different from the others upon review. I suspect they’re either trying to bottle us up; to cover over the miscalculation for now. Or they’re simply waiting to see what our next move is.”

 

“You don’t seem concerned,” A haughty-looking senior officer noted.

 

“I never am.” Ayana smiled gently. “Let’s just say I’m happy for the recovery time.”

 

There was further muted discussion. Junyou let it drift by her; empty words from frightened people.

 

“Make sure to brief yourselves on Tirpitz’s battle report if you haven’t already. As I mentioned, that Oceana showed significant deviations from models we’ve encountered before, and I doubt this will be the last time we encounter such abnormalities. The game is changing, ladies and gentlemen.” Ayana rose from her chair, signalling the end of the meeting.

 

As her subordinates joined her, Junyou noted, through the reflection of the room in the window, that one remained seated; a nervous-looking analyst.

 

“So… We’re going to sit tight?” He peered up at Commander Ryoma.

 

“No,” she replied with a faint smirk.

 

Junyou felt a rueful smile grace her own lips, by now well-aware of when her commander was going to keep her cards close to her chest and when she was going to play them.

 

After the meeting was formally adjourned and they were alone again, Junyou felt a hand reach out, sliding around her wrist, fingers probing her veins. The carrier looked back over her shoulder.

 

“Do you remember? I said I would have a special task for you.”

 

“Yes. What do you need?”

 

There was no answer for a few moments. Junyou felt the tips of Ayana’s finger slide from her wrist down to dig into the palm of her hand.  And then she told her what she wanted.

 

 

*************

 

 

In the waning light of day that flooded her window, Junyou couldn’t help but reflect on how she came to be a shade of her former self. She spent her days following Ayana around; no need of a bodyguard anymore and she was no assistant; just a shadow to someone relevant. After that night at the cemetery she had found herself unable to feel strongly about anything, even in misanthropic terms. There were only fleeting moments with her lover, and she couldn’t help but feel those surges came from the outside; injected into a lifeless body. Kiyonami had gone. After the events of last month, it had been decided that the destroyer would stay with Smalley in the Union dormitory. She occasionally came by the Sakura dorm, but Fusou was always waiting to snatch her up and have her stay with the sister-priestesses. Junyou knew that Leander had told the battleship about the incident, and she couldn’t really blame her. Nothing else had happened; no official reprimand, and if Ayana did know about it, she hadn’t said anything.

 

Nothing.

 

Everyday she woke up to nothing.  A procession of emptiness. 

 

But then Ayana had asked the impossible of her.

 

She shook her head and looked down. Hiyou’s box was open beside her on the tatami. She took the photo out and glanced it over without really looking. 

 

Why do these memories linger? Why don't they fade?

 

Gradually, her eyes honed in on the woman of the far-past.  Instead, her memory lingered on the woman of the present. Why bother asking for the impossible? Was it a test?

 

To prove myself worthy of your love…

 

Lately, Ayana’s touch faintly recalled the electricity of their earlier dalliances; sparks that fizzled in vivid colour; the only reprieve from the grey that had saturated her life. She knew Ayana was making an effort, so why now?  

 

A final push?

 

Her hapless deductions were interrupted by a knock at her door. The guest didn’t bother to wait for a reply, sliding the door open and stepping inside. Junyou glanced up and took her in; now this was the real sign of complete hopelessness; associating with Kaga.

 

The kitsune held up a slim clay jug of nihonshu along with two shallow cups. “Look what I found.” 

 

“It’s probably dishwater,” Junyou grumbled.

 

“Either way, I spiked it with oil.” Kaga chuckled, strolling over and seating herself opposite her host.

 

As Junyou watched her pour them each a cup, she marvelled inwardly at the lack of hostility she felt. After their last confrontation, and what had ensued, there hadn’t been any coming together or amicable mending of their relationship. Instead, as her transformation into a walking void was completed, she simply found the two of them drawn to each other. There was really no other explanation; they were still far from any possible definition of friends. But they were the only two of their kind.

 

On a whim, Junyou handed Kaga the photo in her lap. “What do you think of this?”

 

“What about it?” 

 

“Do you think she looks like Commander Ryoma?”

 

“No,” Kaga replied, passing the photo back, more interested in her beverages.

 

Junyou felt a surge of irritation at the former-carrier’s bluntness. But as was the trend nowadays, the feeling didn’t go anyway; it simply faded into the aether without consequence.

 

Junyou was handed a cup. She took a sip and winced.

 

“Disgusting.” 

 

Kaga seemed pleased. “More for me if you don’t want any.”

 

Junyou sighed. “Getting drunk means I don’t have to listen to you.” She took another sip.

 

“That’s the spirit,” Kaga agreed, downing her cup before pouring another.

 

They stayed like that for a time. Nothing to say. No point in talking. Just drinking.

 

Junyou felt her mind slide; a welcome relief to the stark clarity of her current disposition.

 

A knock at her door jigged her back to the present. She glanced in Kaga’s direction, as if to ascertain that she was still there (unfortunately, she was) . That was the only visitor she ever expected nowadays; Ayana never came here, nor did she send anyone to request Junyou’s presence; that wasn’t the nature of their relationship.

 

“Who’s there?” she called out.

 

The door slid open a foot and a head poked through the crack. Junyou made a semi-conscious effort to mask her surprise as Kiyonami’s doe eyes landed on her. Without waiting for another word, the destroyer hopped inside, closed the door behind her and then trotted over. She blanched as she spotted Kaga, who was now slumped against the wall, but kept going. She sat down next to Junyou and started rummaging through her backpack.

 

“I need help with my homework.” She looked up at Junyou expectantly, holding out several textbooks.

 

Kaga chuckled slowly. “She wants you to do her homework.” 

 

“I didn’t say that.” Kiyonami frowned, looking between her two seniors. “I didn’t know you were friends,” she added, turning back to Junyou.

 

“We’re not,” the light carrier clarified, a little too abruptly for Kaga to ignore.

 

The white-haired woman pulled a face that soon contorted into silent laughter.

 

“She just won’t go away. Like you,” Junyou added belatedly.

 

“What are you drinking?” Kiyonami reached for Junyou’s cup.

 

“Something little rabbits shouldn’t touch.” She lightly slapped the destroyer’s hand away.

 

“It smells bad,” Kiyonami commented, her nose twitching.

 

“A sure sign that it tastes good,” Kaga interjected with a slur.

 

Kiyonami frowned at her once more before opening a textbook to a page with several annotated maps.

 

“Can you explain this to me? I’m not good with tactics… Or formations… I don’t understand.”

 

“I’m not sure you came to the right place.” Kaga laughed again.

 

Junyou glared her way, clearly disapproving of the implication.

 

“Yes, well, we all know that you’re not exactly an expert when it comes to tactical thinking,” the light carrier snapped.

 

Kaga just shrugged the comment off, pouring herself another cup.

 

“Don’t fight,” Kiyonami chastised them both with a whine.

 

“Now I’m sure you’ve come to the wrong place.” Junyou told her, before downing her own cup and proffering it for a refill.

 

They settled down and got to work after that.

 

It became appallingly clear that Kiyonami did understand her assignment; Junyou caught sight of several pages of notes sandwiched between pages of her textbook in crisp, neat handwriting. Smalley, she guessed.

 

She really just isn’t going to give up. Any excuse.

 

She had sunken so far that she couldn’t even summon enough pride to be angry. Even sat next to two people she would have gladly strangled six months ago; it didn’t stir much of anything beyond self-pity.

 

As they were finishing up, by now what Junyou was sure was Kiyonami’s second copy of this assignment, there was another knock at the door; a polite tap that could only signal one impeccable individual.

 

“Who isn’t joining us tonight?” Kaga sighed.

 

Junyou glanced down and met Kiyonami’s gaze; they both knew the score.

 

Junyou forced her tone neutral for the child’s sake. “Come in.” 

 

The door slid open and Fusou stepped inside cautiously. Her eyes surveyed the room with an anxious gleam before latching onto her target.

 

“Kiyo-chan.” Her gaze flickered between Junyou and the destroyer. “It’s time to… Go.”

 

Kiyonami packed her academy work, textbooks and hoppy away in her backpack and then stood up. She turned to face Junyou, hesitating for a moment. Junyou returned her gaze with passive eyes.

 

“Goodbye…” She stepped forward and Junyou saw that she was reaching for a hug. She shook her head sharply. Kiyonami pulled back, looking down at the floor.

 

“You don’t need to visit. I’m fine," she whispered.

 

The child looked up at her, eyes fraught with a kaleidoscope of feeling.

 

“Jun-chan… I miss you.”

 

“Don’t worry.”

 

“…You don’t seem like you anymore.”

 

“Time to go.” Junyou shifted her eyes to Fusou. Kiyonami took the hint reluctantly.

 

The little destroyer trotted away. The relief was clear all over Fusou’s face as she ushered the child out the room, pausing to bow to the occupants before following her.

 

Junyou glanced back at her still-present companion, to find that Kaga was softly snoring; the jug beside her drained. The light carrier glanced to one side and noticed that her cup was empty as well. She stayed in place for some time, the night slowly unfurling around her through the window. A whisper brushed against her ear, but it was indistinct and soon wilted. Instead her mind became occupied by her commander's request once more.

 

As the hours passed, the truth of the matter unveiled itself; to reclaim who had been, she must confront the cause of who she had become.

 

 

************

 

 

She had been rooted to the spot for several minutes; each passing second a reminder that everyone was watching and waiting. A terrible fear gripped her heart, it was of a kind that she had never felt before; it came from deep within.

 

Before her, suspended between two metal rods was her rigging; a thick half-belt of steel and carbon. It had been waiting for her, silent and sleeping in the depths of the storage bays. Now it awaited her with tentative hope.

 

“Go on,” Ayana whispered into her ear. 

 

She took a half-step forward before paralysis set in again, an ankle trembling and her foot flattening. It had been so long, and it felt even longer through the prism of her memory.

 

Surely it was pointless. Once shattered, a wisdom cube could never be fixed; you would never be part of the fleet again. The waves were forever sealed away from you.

 

“Take up your mantle.”

 

There was a temptation deep within her commander’s words, and she heard the call echo from the rigging suspended before her.

 

Come. Be feared again.

 

Her flesh alone felt so constricting; her lungs rasping against her frame, her hands twitching through emptiness. Glancing to one side, she saw a black rod with red ribbons held by a loop hanging from the rigging.

 

My blade is gone. It sailed away through the night.

 

But there is still a weapon for me alone.

 

She sprang forward, spinning on her heel and leaning back into a metallic embrace. She closed her eyes and waited, breathing ragged and burning her throat as the sounds of minute mechanical adjustments filled her ears. Then it came…

 

She gasped aloud and her body spasmed as the slim bolts plunged into her waist. She lost all sense of gravity, of time and of place. There was only this joining between the machine and its master; a reunion of purpose. 

 

She waited for the surge. Moments ticked by, chipping away at fragile faith…

 

Nothing.

 

“No power output. Minimal reaction.” An engineer called out.

 

Junyou opened her eyes and focused on the figure before her.

 

“Find it inside yourself,” Ayana commanded.

 

Junyou bit down on her lip and probed her body, searching for a spark; the ignition.

 

She reached for the rod holstered at her side. Drawing it clear, she held it out in the palms of her hands.

 

Lifeless.

 

No runway. No engine. No roar. 

 

Like me.

 

The fury only etched despair deeper across her face. All of a sudden, she could feel .

 

“This is your only chance.”

 

She felt Ayana step close. Looking up, she met those odd-coloured eyes and tried to find something to hold onto there. A hand caressed her cheek and she closed her eyes. A tear spilled out before she could stop it, born of frustration and hate.

 

Lifeless.

 

She thought of Kiyonami; of all of her pathetic attempts to…

 

She thought of… She thought of her sister.

 

Where did you go? Why did you leave me here? Why was it only you?

 

It wasn’t fair… No, the concept of fairness was for the weak.

 

It wasn’t acceptable; that she would fall apart because she was alone.

 

She. Would. Not.

 

Lips brushed against her own; insignificant, though the sensation revived her senses. She opened her eyes as Ayana pulled back, her gaze attentive and sharp.

 

“Significant wisdom cube reactions detected! Boot-up signal accepted!”

 

Ayana stepped back, a slow smile crowning her features.

 

Junyou threw the rod up into the air. For a moment it seemed to fly up and then dip straight-and-true; a fear of failure drawing across her throat…

 

I will not be bowed!

 

There. Its descent halted as it hovered. She threw her arm out, fingers dancing through the air. The rod began to spin; a golden scroll unravelling, cutting through the dank of the maintenance bay in a shining ark. She felt it emerge from deep within; the roar . She drew it clear; four miniaturised ryuusei bombers gliding clear of their ethereal runway. They circled the room as the maintenance staff beneath them cowered in shock or stared in wonder.

 

“Stable core reading: 45% power reading established.”    

 

Less than half, but she would find the rest of herself, she would claw it all back. 

 

She glanced up and saw the engineer behind the terminal connected to her rigging. He was gazing at her in awe. She let her eyes bore into him and caught the shade of fear that pervaded his wonder. It stood in sharp contrast to the admiration that coloured Ayana’s features.

 

The carrier drank all of it in like the first gulp from an oasis in the desert; an indescribable taste that blended need and want .

 

“Now, I finally see you as you are.”

 

Part of the fleet once more, her eyes locked with her commander’s, and she knew that another thirst would shortly be quenched.

 

Afterwards, when they had taken their fill of each other and laid tangled together on standard-issue wool sheets, Junyou felt it again; what she had been searching for all of this time. It was close, she could see it in her lover’s eyes. She felt it through her touch and then, she heard it reverberate through her voice…

 

“I have a task for you.”

 

 

***********

 

 

They worked together, slowly and methodically, to clear the grave. Junyou clipped at the ivy that had wrapped itself around the pillar, while Kiyonami weeded the ground before it that would soon be emptied and then filled.

 

Next, Junyou took up a short spade and dug a deep but small hole. She put the tool aside when she deemed her work deep enough to go forever undisturbed. 

 

Kneeling down on the grass, she looked up as Kiyonami held the metal box of memories; its deformed shape made all the more apparent by the earth that would frame it. Junyou reached out to take it but her companion didn’t let go. She glanced up and met the destroyer’s gaze; fractured with a torrent of feeling.

 

“It’s time,” Junyou told her firmly.

 

“P-please…”

 

“There it has to go. It will do no good elsewhere.”

 

Kiyonami lowered her head in defeat. She knew the truth.

 

Jun.

 

Junyou turned and saw her, lounging with her back against her own grave. She wore no patches; both eyes regarding her with something Junyou couldn’t put words to.

 

“This is the last link. If you bury it… I don’t think I can…”

 

“I know,” Junyou told her.

 

“Is this how you thought your life would turn out?”

 

“I thought you would be burying me.”

 

“Couldn’t have done it. I’m not as strong as you.”

 

“You don’t have to lie to me. I hold no illusions; I know which of us was the greater.”

 

“Forget it. You have a choice, Jun. You’ve already changed for the better.”

 

“You know that I can’t be you. No one can.”

 

And with that she lowered the box into the earth.

 

Kiyonami sniffled back tears as Junyou filled the grave, finally giving it an occupant.

 

Junyou stood up when she was finished.

 

“Don’t go… Please!”

 

She looked down and found Kiyonami pressed against her; arms wrapped around her waist and face pushed into her stomach to hide weeping eyes. Odd; she could barely feel it.

 

“I have a mission,” she told the child.

 

“You’re not coming back, I know it!” The child looked up to implore her. “I don’t want to lose you! Jun-chan, don’t go!”

 

She let the child cry for a while, holding her close. She was devoid of anything to say to ease her fears; too focused on what was to come. She ruffled the girl’s hair after a few minutes.

 

“It’s time for me to leave. They’re waiting for me.”

 

“You’re my friend,” the destroyer sobbed.

 

“True friends. Maybe the only one,” Junyou whispered.

 

Kiyonami looked up through her tears.

 

“And true friends trust each other, don’t they?”

 

The destroyer nodded reluctantly.

 

“So, do you trust me?”

 

“O-of course…”

 

“And so, that means we’re true friends.”

 

Kiyonami gazed up at her for a few moments, unable to offer any argument. She hugged the carrier tightly once more before letting go. 

 

“I’ll see you again,” Junyou murmured as she stepped away. "I promise."

 

She glanced back and saw the child nod, still wiping away her tears.

 

As she left the cemetery, she spotted Kaga standing before her sisters’ graves. She looked up, the ghost of an old grin writhing across her face as Junyou passed.

 

“Wreak havoc, Warrior,” she said, lifting her tattered mask into place.

 

 

**********

 

 

She had forgotten all the hustle and bustle that preceded launch; prattling officers and checks upon checks upon checks. Thankfully, due to this being a special operation under Commander Ryoma’s direct command, she was spared the worst.

 

In the docks, she was once again connected to her rigging. Though this time there was additional equipment being loaded and prepared for her. Ayana was on-hand to oversee preparations personally. She strode over to Junyou as an additional quarter-backplate was being carefully slotted into place on her rigging by several engineers.

 

“This is the sensor unit I briefed you about, fresh out of R&D. It will be taking all kinds of readings and recordings inside the mirror sea. It also provides a boosted signal for your comm and data uplink, even after you pass through our radar perimeter. Added to that, it will provide your rigging with an additional power supply. Finally, there is an ejectable unit containing a sealed data-drive with all recorded data. Don’t be alarmed if it ejects within the targeted zone, there are numerous parameters, and the safety of at least one record of the data you’ll be collecting is paramount to the mission’s success.”  

 

Junyou nodded, frankly less than interested in the specifics.

 

“Do you have any questions?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Well then…” Ayana reached out and took Junyou’s hand in her own. The carrier could feel the commander’s fingers tremble.

 

“Remember what I told you; according to Tirpitz, anything can change once you enter the mirror sea. You may see memories come to life or warped depictions of the present. It is imperative that you remember your objective; proceed to the centre of the mirror sea and protect the sensor pack at all costs. Once we have sufficient data, we’ll call you back home. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“If the comm link is disrupted and you find yourself unsure of what to do or suspect that your mind is being manipulated, I want you to focus, just like we discussed. Focus on a single image; I want you to remember me…” She leaned in close, lips brushing against Junyou’s ear. “…Remember that I love you. And come back to me.”

 

She sold it well, Junyou reflected. And she wanted to believe it… Perhaps that would be enough.

 

Ayana pulled back, all business again. She scanned her soldier’s face, looking for any doubts or unanswered questions. Satisfied, she stepped back and saluted. “Come back safe.” 

 

Junyou returned the salute. 

 

Their eyes met one final time before Ayana turned and walked away.  Junyou felt a shudder run through the harness that held her rigging in place.

 

“Ready for launch!” an engineer called out.

 

Junyou felt the lift beneath her lurch on its rails before a steady descent began.

 

 

***********

 

 

She reclaimed another shade of herself as she glided effortlessly across the waves. Next came the skies; she launched several scouts to peel through the expanse before her.

 

She pressed forward for a while, receiving regular check-ins through the comm from an operator.

 

“Approaching mission target zone,” she informed them as she came within a few hundred metres of the misty wall that now curtained their island from the ocean.

 

- Understood. Command: Proceed with extreme caution.

 

She skirted the mist as she came closer and sent her scout planes plunging within. Instantly, she lost all contact with them; it was as if they had never existed. No mark within her mind upon which to focus and connect.

 

Turn back.

 

It wasn’t a choice. Besides, as prickly as her instincts were right now, underneath was the anticipation of an awaiting enemy. Maybe Kaga had been right, mercy had burrowed down within her, but she had none to spare for the Sirens. Her fingers twitched against her palms; the calm before the kill wilting, growing restless and driving her on.    

 

“I’m going in.”

 

Just inside the barrier, she was practically blinded. Alarmed, she considered sending out more scouts, but decided against it; she suspected they wouldn’t fare any better than the last squadron. She needed to get her bearings first.

 

“Command, can you still read me?”

 

- The uplink to your sensors is deteriorating rapidly. What’s your…

 

The operator's voice trailed off.

 

“Command? Can you hear me? You’re cutting out.”

 

- Yes… Clear… We’re receiving… Data but… Garbled…”

 

Junyou kept moving forward, now at a slow glide. The distinct sense that something was wrong grew alarmingly as the transmissions continued to chop up .

 

“There’s nothing here to see. Just fog. What are you getting?”

 

- We’re… I don’t… I can see you… Command:…

 

“What is it?” the carrier snapped. “Speak up.”

 

- …Commander… Speaking… Do you… You copy? I repeat: Remember…

 

Junyou came to a halt, her eyes narrowing as they peered through the mist. The comm line almost totally gave out; she could still hear the odd word buzzing faintly in her ear, but at this point she could assume that she was on her own.

 

Something came over her as she pushed forward again; a familiar sense of time and place. She could almost reach out and pluck it from her memory, but it drifted and swayed before her, leading her on. The fog started to clear and she saw shapes emerge…

 

Sasebo.

 

A pier emerged, slicing low through the fog and protruding into the water. A figure stood upon it. Junyou paused as she reached the tip of the pier, looking up as a woman looked down upon her. Though the distance wasn't great, the carrier found it difficult to make out her expression; her expression remained out of focus no matter how closely her eyes peered and strained.

 

Moments passed. Nothing. Not even the tide. All was still.

 

“Don’t you remember?” Junyou asked her, trying to quell the desperation that fluttered in her chest.

 

The woman just looked at her. Silent.

 

Junyou glanced to one side. Light seemed to shade out the rest of the bay as her eyes crawled across it. She saw it then. The woman followed her line of sight. Together, they gazed upon the carrier's past; the steel skeleton of her former life.

 

“You are the wrecked one.” Her voice was raw, as if recently unearthed. “While you rotted away here, your sister ship sank, dragging my husband to his death. But you… You just waited here… Listing and sinking slowly…”

 

“I had no choice.” She gritted her teeth and looked down into the water, a warped reflection staring straight back through faint ripples.

 

“Has time changed you? Are you able to do what you could not before?”

 

She closed her eyes tightly. Something burned inside. Her chest hollowed out.

 

“Then all is as it was," the woman decreed.

 

“We waited together,” Junyou murmured; something rising, threatening to tear her apart seam by seam.

 

“I grieved alone .” She scowled at the carrier of steel, and then the one of flesh. “Begone. I have nothing to say to you.”

 

Junyou opened her eyes and looked up into the clear sky that bloomed overhead; an overwhelming desire to fly away seized her.

 

I want you to remember me…

 

She knew the past. She knew the loss, but she remembered the bond. It hadn’t been born of malice and remorse… 

 

…Remember that I love you.

 

That was proof. That was…

 

The only image that came to mind was of them laying on a bed together; Ayana’s back turned to her, and though Junyou reached out, there was no reaction. Just cold flesh. Unmoving.

 

Another lie. Another betrayal. All of a sudden, the clarity was overwhelming.

 

But the burning was doused, because she knew the truth; that she had used Ayana as much as the officer had used her. Their relationship had always been about lust and hunger. Need . 

 

Cold steel, dead flesh; she pulled herself up onto the pier and stepped forward. She paused momentarily, both shocked and not shocked to find the woman’s features as indistinct up close as they were at a distance; her face seemed to shift like the surface of a pond; details only half-remembered or never truly known.

 

I always knew. I only ever willingly fooled myself.

 

“You cannot save anyone. Only die,” the woman whispered; her voice threadbare. It echoed in Junyou’s ear; growing louder and louder; hissing and spitting. She reached out and grabbed the woman by the throat.

 

“You cannot change the past.”

 

She pushed down on the windpipe and felt her hands strangle a shadow of an existence.

 

“You cannot change who you are.”

 

Lifeless, the body dropped from her hands. It crumbled to the wood of the pier and seemed to fade from view. Junyou looked down at her hands; still and cold. She remembered… It was not… The memory was hard to let go of; it papered over so much hurt; so many cracks, but those fissures inside were open now; raw and tender; fuel for the fire. She stepped forward and forced herself to keep moving. Soon the planks of the pier faded and gave way to the murky waters of the mirror sea once more. Anger reignited inside, but she felt oddly detached from it, as if she were being split in two with each passing moment. She held onto each half with fumbling hands. She kept moving forward. After a few minutes the mist began to thin noticeably. She slowed again and scanned her emerging surroundings; a wide dome-shaped enclosure of mist where pieces of the sky could just barely be seen through the haze of the roof.

 

Her comm buzzed to life. “Hey Jun. I was just thinking about you, about the last time I saw you. Do you remember?”

 

Forever reeling. Forever scorched by fury. Junyou ignored the babbling. As she cleared the mist, she sent out two reppuu fighters to glide alongside her. 

 

Wreak havoc, Warrior.

 

She narrowed her eyes; instinct over thought. Spotting a shifting silhouette to her right, she bombed forward and sent her fighters zooming ahead. Gunfire raked the waves, slicing up into the mist and scoring its target. Junyou found the remains; the corpse of Hiyou floating on the water. She laughed out loud; the sound spilling from her throat, spewing disdain and bile. Rage heeded her call; she blew it to life slowly as she laughed, letting it bloom from her fractured core. Letting it consume everything within her. Letting go.

 

“You’ll have to do better than that,” she sang. “Why didn’t you use the child, wouldn’t that have had more of a poetic impact?” she continued to taunt as she began to glide around the open space like a figure skater, her fighters twirling with her between bouts of gunfire that peppered the misty walls. “Come out, Siren. We both know I’m not leaving until I gut you and all of your little friends.” she announced, beginning to enjoy herself as the hunted turned hunter; the palpable mood of the ocean shifting and beginning to teem with anxiety.

 

Fear. I will teach them.

 

Junyou came to a halt as a figure emerged on the opposite side of the open water. It was a woman; she wore a slimmed-down sailor uniform that mocked the original by its skimpy proportions. Her eyes were wide and coloured by a sickly-yellow, radiant even at this distance. 

 

“I told them. Ol’ Purifier warned them…” she called out. “There was no point in- Woah!” The Siren threw up her arms as Junyou’s fighter dove at her, guns blazing.

 

The bullets glanced off of Purifier’s forearms harmlessly. Unfortunately, that meant she didn’t see the reppuus' kamikaze charge straight into her until it was too late.

 

She held her ground, just. But then Junyou was upon her, a hand sweeping downward with vicious abandon; her sharpened nails slicing across her eyes and blinding her. The Siren flailed wildly, but Junyou was too quick; ducking underneath her swinging fists as she sent a piercing blow between the Siren’s ribs. Purifier went momentarily limp, just before a fist crashed against her chin, spinning her off-balance.

 

Junyou pulled the Siren back, slamming her elbow into her neck and then her face. She was just about to allow herself a moment to gloat before the kill when she felt something behind her. She swung around, just in time, dragging Purifier with her to absorb a shell at point-black range. She was forced back, losing her balance as the Purifier she held disintegrated, only to reveal another one now stood atop her rigging; its cannons raised.

 

She grinned. “Two heads are better than one.” 

 

Junyou felt the clammy touch of death. She was off-balance from the blast and there was no way to evade at this range…

 

The point of a katana suddenly emerged from Purifier’s stomach. She paused in her taunting to look down at it, much the same as Junyou. The silver point disappeared. Then there was an imperceptible blur around the Siren’s neck; a neat beheading. 

 

Purifier’s body toppled forward, following her head into the water; her matter seemed to crumble and fade away even as what was left of her fell. Her rigging followed, fading into the water.

 

As the Siren faded from view, Hiyou was revealed. She slashed her blade down once, a flicker of gore rippling the water, before sheathing it.

 

“Four eyes are better than two,” she quipped.

 

Junyou stared at her for a moment before sighing.

 

“Do you know how I know it’s really you and not an illusion?”

 

“How?”

 

“Because no one would ever replicate your awful sense of one-liners.”

 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Hiyou snapped.

 

“Why eyes?”

 

“She said heads… I said eyes… I wear an eyepatch.”

 

“Then it should be three eyes between me and you.”

 

“This is for show, remember?” Hiyou lifted her patch to expose her left eye.

 

“How would she know that?”

 

“I-it doesn’t matter!”

 

“And why… Just why do you wear it?”

 

“I’m not getting into this again. You either have style or you don’t.”

 

“Were you this stupid when you were alive?”

 

“Were you this mean when I was alive?”

 

“Yes, I was. And why were you talking to Kiyonami about me? She said you were babbling away in her dreams, asking her to harass me in your place.”

 

“That’s none of your business. Besides, I kept trying to talk to you but I guess you had better things to do than listen to the ghost of your awesome sister. Too much moping on the schedule, was there?”

 

“Hardly, I was living in a non-stop party after you left. No more dumb ideas to clear up after.”

 

“Sure, sure. Are you friends with Kaga now?”

 

“No!” Junyou shrieked, despite herself.

 

“I thought so. You didn’t put poor Kiyonami through that did you?”

 

“…Only once,” Junyou muttered.

 

“She’s just a kid, Jun. She doesn’t need to see real misery like that.”

 

“Oh, shut up. You weren’t even… You’re just making it up.”

 

“No, I was haunting you. I’m a ghost and I was haunting you. And you just ignored me ninety-nine percent of the time. And you shut me out, I might add. And then you buried me. Thanks.”

 

Junyou rolled her eyes. “So… Are you a ghost now?”

 

“I’m not sure. After you went to my grave and buried the box, something changed. I don’t really understand…”

 

“Shock.” 

 

Ignoring her snark, Hiyou drew the extra katana belted at her waist clear.

 

“What’s that?” The elder sister asked.

 

“Our ancestors called it a katana-”

 

“Yes, yes. Very funny. Where did you get it?”

 

“Found it when I came after you.”

 

“Does a superfluous piece of eyewear come with it?”

 

“No. Those are only available to unique people.”

 

“They sure are.”  

 

Hiyou pulled a face and tossed the blade over to her. Junyou caught it expertly, casting an eye over the sheath.

 

“What’s wrong with it?”

 

“Nothing’s wrong with it!” Hiyou snapped with a grimace.

 

Junyou flicked the blade a few inches clear of the sheath with her thumb. It only took one glance at the gleam of the metal to know it was hers. Still, she drew it clear and admired the blade reborn. 

 

“Thanks… For bringing it back to me.”

 

“So what now?”

 

“I don’t know. I thought you would know.”

 

“I-”

 

Junyou cut back in with a smirk. “Wait, I just realised how ridiculous that sounded. Sorry.” 

 

“ Well .” Hiyou eyed her pointedly. “Why not ask that commander of yours to send in the fleet?”

 

“I guess I’m already where I’m supposed to be… I’ll try, but I wouldn’t…” Her voice trailed as she stared at her sister; it was harder to hold back with each passing moment.

 

Hiyou drifted in closer. “What?”

 

All of a sudden, she found herself crushed into a fierce embrace.

 

“J-Jun…”  

 

“Shut up. Don’t say anything. Not a word, I mean it.”

 

Glancing down, she saw Junyou’s head pressed against her shoulder, face hidden from view. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around her other half.

 

They stayed like that for a few moments, until a dark shape flickered in the corner of Hiyou’s eye. Looking up, she more shapes verging on the mist.

 

“You remember how to use that blade?” she whispered.

 

Junyou sighed. “I can never forget,” she murmured as they parted.

 

For what felt like the first time in an eternity, the two Sakura blades were drawn in union; keen edges shining brightly, a promise of a swift end to the oncoming Sirens.

 

 

**********

 

 

They were turned away from the base. The Admiralty had been prepared; a line of guards armed with electronic rifles, trained on them from the moment they came into sight. Leander had tried to reason with them, but even the head secretary was barred from the base for the day. Further proof, if needed, that Kiyonami’s concerns of something underhanded being afoot were true.

 

Now the little destroyer was sprinting towards the beach. She had no idea of what she was going to do when she got there, only that it seemed the obvious place to go. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw her friends in-tow, along with a few curious stragglers their group had picked up to-and-from the base.

 

Leaping off the last step down, she could see what had once been the serene white walls of the mirror sea in the distance; now churching with shades of black and grey, as if a storm were rolling around inside.

 

“Wait!” she heard Smalley call after her.

 

She reached the receding line of the tide just in time to see a lightning bolt lance through the mist; the accompanying flash and bang momentarily stunning her. Smalley was on her a moment later, but she too was taken aback by the commotion across the bay.

 

The others arrived shortly after another bolt. Kiyonami glanced over her shoulder and saw Leander, Brooklyn and Yamashiro amongst others. She also noted the presence of Zeppy and Kaga with some surprise; she couldn’t recall when either had been swept up into their group.

 

“What’s happening?” Leander asked, stepping alongside the destroyer and surveying the horizon.

 

“I don’t remember anything like this happening during the last battle, when Tirpitz was inside,” Brooklyn added.

 

“Makes sense,” Kaga noted. “Tirpitz is cold.”

 

Brooklyn gave her an inquisitive glance.

 

“There's a storm brewing in there. No guesses as to who’s at the centre of it,” the former-carrier continued, gazing out to sea, something long-dormant stirring in her eyes. 

 

Kiyonami looked on, worry eating away at her insides. She felt the truth of Kaga’s words. With the absence of her toy-rabbit, she reached out for Smalley’s hand and held on tightly as the storm rolled on.

 

 

************

 

 

Her fingers slowly dug into the padded armrests of her chair as her eyes were blurred by the six huge monitors that dominated the command room; each showing various displays; heat maps, visual feeds and various charts and readings. She barely registered any of them, nor did her ears hear any of the numerous operators stationed all around her at their consoles; they spoke out in cacophony of conflicting and equally-alarming reports. The pertinent matter at hand: they had lost contact with Junyou over fifteen minutes ago and a hard decision was awaiting their commander.

 

Glancing up, Ayana could see that most of the monitors were still lagging, barely updating, if at all. “I want an update on the comm line,” she called out sharply, quieting some of the panicked voices around the room.

 

“There's too much interference. We’re getting flickers of a signal but there’s been no response from IJN Junyou. If she can hear us, it’s not anything coherent.”

 

“And the sensor?”

 

“The main uplink has failed. We’re still getting diagnostics in spots. It’s still active.”

 

Ayana looked up as one of the monitors, enlarged to dominate the centre of the far wall. It showed a digital top-down map of the mission zone. She could see a blip that marked Junyou, but the marker was jumping from spot-to-spot; the readings lagging and out-dated. Looking to the right, she saw another monitor that was displaying Junyou’s status; so far it was within parameters. It was above predicted power-readings, actually. 

 

“We’re now five minutes away from predicted mission completion,” An operation called out.

 

“Can we access the ejection unit?”

 

“Yes,” came a reply after a few moments.

 

Fuck.

 

Ayana glanced back at the map; other blips were appearing and disappearing rapidly around Junyou. There were no solid readings but it could be safely assumed that the carrier had made contact with the enemy. And their numbers were growing…

 

How long before they break through?

 

A bead of sweat ran down into her eye. She wiped it clear, very aware that everyone was looking to her for a decision at this juncture; the room growing tenser by the moment.

 

“Do it. Eject the module.”

 

“Ejection signal sent…”

 

Ayana held her breath for a moment.

 

“Signal received. Sensor module ejecting… Tracking…”

 

She tried not to exhale too sharply. The relief was like a cool breeze across her face.

 

“Can we activate the failsafe?” she asked, keeping her voice level.

 

“Failsafe mechanism is responding.”

 

“…Hold for now.”

 

Looking back at the map; the Sirens swarming there. She couldn’t help but feel the inevitable stalk her; the weight of her command; they had awoken the sleeping beast, now they had to follow through with her contingency. It was the right call, it made sense… Just…

 

I am not heartless.

 

“Keep it primed.”   

 

 

************

 

 

Junyou’s blade swept down, slicing through a Siren drone from shoulder to hip. As the corpse parted, she was already spinning around, her katana lancing out to run through the torso of another drone. 

 

Enough time for a quick glance; she saw that Hiyou was dispatching Sirens with equal efficiency. Above them, the sisters’ fighters tore through the swirling winds in rampaging circles, gunning down Sirens before they could get close to the spinning silver blades. There was a time for finesse and a time for brute strength; now came the moment that demanded a lethal mix of both, Junyou reflected as she observed the killing ground they had created for another split moment.

 

Though they would surely be overrun in time, Junyou knew that she was in a groove now. She felt electric course through her veins as she sliced the cybernetic arm off an attacking Siren, before twisting and reversing her blade, then thrusting it back to disembowel the same foe.

 

The surge, the rush was so overwhelming that she barely felt a build-up of heat against her lower back. Something small was launched up into the sky moments later from the sensor pack. She ignored it, so inconsequential now was the world she had left behind.

 

So many more fell before her as minutes passed, but there were no sinking chains of fatigue; only the drive to erase more. Above them, the sky roared in tandem with her, lightning forking down into the ocean and the current flowed through Junyou and her sister, feeding them as it fried every Siren in the vicinity.

 

The rains swept in next to buffet against the next wave of emerging drones, grim-faced and bleach-skinned between the throbbing artificial enhancements that laced their bodies.

 

Let them come.

 

Junyou grinned as she met her sister in the middle of the shifting dome. Their eyes met and Junyou saw the same elation reflected there.

 

Finally.

 

It was here, in an ocean of illusions that she found the truth; an enemy she could fight, a divide that demanded violence and swept away indecision. And by her side; someone who understood .

 

She grinned and slid into stance. Hiyou did the same. Together, they stood against the tide, as they always had. Always another enemy…

 

Let them come.

 

Come they did; wave after wave to the slaughter. So engrossed in the killing she became, that she missed Hiyou’s plight until it was almost too late.

 

“Jun!”

 

Slicing open the chest of a drone, Junyou spun around and saw Purifier, returned to the battlefield. She held Hiyou aloft by the throat, the latter’s katana bouncing helplessly off the former’s now-augmented arm-length gauntlets. She made eye contact with Junyou, across the water, and winked.

 

“Third time's the charm,” she quipped.

 

Junyou sped forward, disembowelling another drone who tried to obstruct her. She launched a ryuusei bomber in another kamikaze charge, but Purifier held Hiyou aloft to ward it off. Junyou skied the bomber at the last second, narrowly avoiding her sister. But she kept the bomber linked, an idea forming from the screams of its tortured engine.

 

A piercing bleeping sound began to emanate from her sensor pack, and as she cut through the waves, a voice crept into her ear…

 

 

*************

 

 

“Failsafe activated. Detonation imminent!”

 

Ayana nodded firmly to herself. It was the right call; they would wipe out the immediate Siren threat and could recover the data later. All it would cost was one Light Aircraft Carrier. What commander worth her salt wouldn’t make the same call?

 

Just one carrier. Not even a true member of the fleet anymore.

 

Junyou understood the necessity of sacrifice; she would understand this. She would know… 

 

I gave her what she wanted; life after death.

 

Her hand reached out to the console beside her and took hold of the microphone hanging there.

 

“Open a channel to IJN Junyou.”

 

“We can’t reach her-”

 

“Just open it.”

 

“Direct line open!”

 

Ayana took a deep breath

 

“This is Commander Ryoma. I’ve activated the failsafe mechanism in your sensor pack…”

 

 

**********

 

 

“…An armed warhead. It will detonate shortly… I’m sorry. I hope you… I know you will understand. Goodbye.”

 

Another dagger plunged into her back. What did it fucking matter anymore? Just more spite to lash at her foes.

 

Junyou leapt forward and knew her sister felt the on-coming attack. Like poetry in motion, she picked that moment to plant her feet against Purifier, savagely twisting the arm that held her before she kicked-off the Siren's body.

 

Hissing in pain, Purifier let Hiyou go, flinging her off to one side.  

 

Junyou felt a rush of pride at how in-sync they were. How they just knew .

 

It was worth dying for. All over again.

 

“Nothing you’ve got can stop me. I’m going to keep coming back!” Purifier screamed in glee as Junyou flew towards her.

 

The Siren threw up her arms and spread her feet, ready to block the sweeping slash that Junyou was lining up, while priming herself to catch the carrier and counterstrike.

 

Junyou twisted in the air, throwing her sword forward as she killed the engine of the Ryuusei still climbing above them. It caught Purifier off-guard, the flying blade slipped through her grasp and lanced through her eye, exiting through the back of her skull. Still, she barely flinched, so focused on her kill.

 

“Not this time,” she growled, catching Junyou as she barged into the Siren. “Now I’m going to make you watch as I take your sword and use it to slice your dear sister up. Failed again, huh?”

 

But the Siren’s gloating was cut short as she felt Junyou’s hands grab onto her tightly, pinning her arms down.

 

“What are you..?”

 

“Sweet dreams.” Junyou gave her a maniac grin.

 

They both looked up to see the ryuusei fall, the bombs sliding clear to dance in the air. 

 

“Jun!”

 

She was allowed a quick glance at her sister, and though she saw the despair there, she knew that she had finally accomplished what she had intended all those months ago.

 

A worthy sacrifice. To protect something loved so dearly.

 

The wind roared and whipped around her. 

 

Sunlight bloomed all around them as the storm vanished, along with Hiyou.

 

Wait for me.

 

She reached out and grabbed her katana, embedded in Purifier’s eye. She twisted the hilt and saw a gash of pain converge with the fear that contorted that last sickly-yellow eye.

 

The carrier bared her teeth.

 

She looked up and saw it.

 

Salvation came crashing down.

 

 

**********

 

 

The mirror sea seemed to be caving in, giving way to a dome of swirling grey-black, laced with crackling sparks of lighting; a self-contained storm that roared its defiance against the world around it. 

 

“What’s that!?” Zeppy cried out, pointing towards a tiny object that flew out of the roof of the storm, only visible by the stark contrast of the sun-drenched sky above.

 

The little carrier focused on the object as it sped away into the distance before flickering from view. She threw out her arm, launching a faint imprint of a scout-plane into the sky. It wasn’t a tangible vehicle, like the older carriers could produce, even without their rigging, but it was strong enough to lock onto the object and track it.

 

Suddenly, a gust of wind struck the beach with startling force. It was as if a typhoon had manifested in the bay. Everyone threw their arms up or hunkered down, clinging onto each other to avoid being blown away. Then the winds lifted as abruptly as they had descended; within a moment, all was still.

 

The first to fall, the first back on her feet; Yamashiro cried out. “Look!” 

 

 Kiyonami looked out to sea and saw two figures locked together. Even at this distance, she knew without a doubt that one of them was Junyou. 

 

“Jun-chan!” she screamed, wading into the water.

 

An ice-cold chill ran all over her as she saw the bomber hanging in the sky…

 

Smalley and Brooklyn pulled her down as an explosion bloomed out from where the eye of the storm had been seconds before. Within a moment the explosion doubled, rocking the entire bay and whisking away all that remained of the mirror sea.

 

All of them were pushed below the waves, dazed until Brooklyn lifted both of the destroyers clear.

 

On her feet, Kiyonami seemed to regain her senses all too quickly; it was the total silence that marked the aftermath of the explosion, granting grim clarity.

 

She’s gone.

 

There was no trace of the struggle that had contorted the ocean. The horizon, clear and unobstructed, stretched out into forever.

 

“She did it…” Leander gasped. “Just like Tirpitz… The mirror sea and the Sirens… Gone.”

 

She should have been crying, the little destroyer knew it. Shock had hollowed her out, there was nothing inside to pour out. All she could feel was the lap of the tide as it reasserted its endless pattern.

 

“J-Jun-chan…” she mumbled.

 

Even Smalley’s arms, as they wrapped around her, felt abstract and empty; a sensation from another time or place. Not now. Not here.

 

She’s gone. She was my friend. She’s gone.

 

She began to tremble. She couldn’t do anything else.

 

“Kiyonami…” Smalley seemed to be speaking from across a great distance. 

 

Something tapped against her shins. Looking down, she saw Junyou’s sheathed katana floating before her. Smalley let go of her as she knelt down to fish it out of the water.

 

Taking hold of the hilt with both hands, she drew the sword clear and held it up. The sun gleamed against the jagged edge of the blade; broken and distorted once more, but still fearsome.

 

She sheathed the blade and held it tightly to her chest, a strange substitute for Hoppy; one that spoke of things to come more than days past.

 

Unable to face the emptiness of the ocean any longer, she turned to find Smalley watching her; a hint of concern pulling at her normally passive eyes. Dishevelled and touched by the moment, she looked more beautiful than Kiyonami could ever remember.

 

“I said I hated her…” the Union destroyer began, her voice shaking.

 

Kiyonami stepped in closer.

 

“…But I didn’t mean it, really. I didn’t…”

 

“She was hard to understand,” the Sakura destroyer admitted. “But I felt it sometimes… Like she loved…”

 

…And hated…

 

“…More than most people.”

 

Smalley’s arms drew her in and she returned the embrace, resting her head against the taller girl’s chest. It was a relief to have someone there; a pillar in the enveloping void of grief.

 

Still, as they stood against the gentle tide and felt as one, old words flowed through Kiyonami’s mind; they wouldn’t let go…

 

Love is pure. And then, Love is poison.

Notes:

Many thanks to everyone who took an interest in this story. I know it wasn't an easy read, just as it wasn't easy to write.

I spent a lot of time dwelling on this one; I wanted to try my hand at something more nihilistic in nature and see where I could take it.

Hopefully it was worth your time. I'll probably be working on a story focusing on Colorado sometime next year for those interested.

Thanks!

Update (01/25): This story has been revised and I now consider this to be the final draft.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of The Sky Above, The Ocean Below