Chapter Text
Alec saw the little sprite before anyone else did. He glanced around, wondering if anyone else saw it. But no one seemed to. It made him curious, made him question why he was seeing it and why others weren’t. Izzy even passed through it, came right for him.
“Alec,” she starts.
Alec held up his left hand. “I’ll be right back.” He heads into the direction that the light ball is. It moved, and he followed it through the corridors. He seemed to have an idea where it was going. And when it vanished into Clary’s room, he hesitated. What if it was a message for Clary, and not for him? Then surely he wasn’t meant to hear it. And yet here he was, standing in front of Clary’s door. He’s kind of afraid of going in, but he also needed to know what the little ball of light was. It could be Jonathan as well.
He stood there for a minute, then looked around. But there’s no one. So no one else must have seen it. He frowned and opened the door to Clary’s room. He stepped inside, closed the door behind him and looked around the room.
The little ball of light suddenly became a very bright flash. Alec brought his hands up to shield his eyes, but tried to see what it was anyway. Then Clary’s mother appeared and the light vanished.
“Miss Fairchild?” he enquired.
“Alec?” Jocelyn frowned.
“What are you doing here? How are you here?” Alec was genuinely curious. He wondered if he should go find Clary. He knows exactly how much her mother means to her.
“I’ve been sent by the Angels. They want Clary to stop making any new runes or she’ll lose all her memories of the Shadowhunters and the Downworld.” Jocelyn looked down for a brief moment.
“Why?” Alec asked.
“Because they feel like she’s abusing her powers. Bringing people back?” Jocelyn shook her head sadly.
“But she’s helping people,” Alec said, trying to wrap his head around the Angels demands. He doesn’t understand why they’d want her to stop. She’s been helping people ever since she discovered her powers. And Alec must admit, no matter how much he disliked the girl in the beginning, she became a valuable Shadowhunter. They needed her.
“I know,” Jocelyn said. She sighed. “I just came here to bring forth this message to her. You must tell her, Alec! Or she’ll lose her abilities, her memories.”
Alec thought about that. The Angels seemed so unfair. He looked at Jocelyn. “Please tell them that if she does again, that they shouldn’t punish her. They should punish me.”
He still felt guilty for killing Clary’s mother. He wondered if he would ever not feel guilty about it. But there had been nothing that he could have done about it. And yet, perhaps now, he could mend his mistake. But at what cost? He wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter now. He would simply keep Clary from using her abilities. He’d make up a sweet little lie. It would be fine. He could do this.
“Alec…” Jocelyn saw the determination in his eyes. She nodded. “I’ll ask them.”
And then she vanished.
Alec stayed there, blinking. He wondered why the Angels were all of a sudden making demands now. But it didn’t seem like a good sign to him. They still needed to track down Jonathan and end him. And Alec was worried they needed Clary for that.
Jonathan seemed way too powerful. He doesn’t know how to handle that. All he knows is that he must keep Clary from knowing this. Because if she knew, she’d try to contact the Angels to try and change the course of their plans.
And he also had a wedding to plan. Though, there was little planning. Most of it was being left to Magnus. Because apparently, having a warlock for a wedding planner, was a brilliant idea. All Alec wanted is to keep it simple. Nothing too big and extravagant. But he knew Magnus.
The door opened behind him and Alec turned around.
Clary frowned. “Alec? Why are you in my room?” she asked.
“I was searching for you,” Alec lies. “I thought you may be in here.”
“Well, I am now. Did you need me for something?” She smiled.
Alec felt something pull at the strings of his heart. “I was wondering if you had any idea where Jonathan may be?”
Clary shook her head. “No,” she said. She was worried. Jonathan needed to be found and dealt with. And she knew he might die. She didn’t want that, but if it had to happen, she would accept that. She also knew she may be the only one that could take him down. They were siblings after all. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her necessarily.
Alec nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Well, I have a wedding to plan.” He left then, leaving Clary alone in her room. He wondered if he should tell Magnus, but he didn’t want to hurt him. Magnus would call off the wedding probably. And Alec didn’t want that. He couldn’t wait to get married to Magnus.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
----
And then Jonathan showed his face. Clary convinced them to let her go alone. Alec didn’t like it, but he knew she stood the best chance of taking him down. So he allowed her. When she came back, she was upset. Jace had gone after her. The rest had dispersed to help prepare for the wedding. Alec had stayed there for a minute, until he had felt something burn on his arm.
Alec had fled to his room. Once there, he had pulled up a sleeve and looked down at his arm to see he was missing a rune. So the Angels had listened to Jocelyn, to him. He felt the tears burn in the back of his throat. He knew what this meant. He would lose his memories. By the time he would be married to Magnus, he wouldn’t remember anything.
Licking his lips, Alec takes a piece of paper and a pen. He looked down at it and tried to think of the words to write to Magnus, to Jace, Izzy, Clary. But he doesn’t know what to write down. He felt like he may be on the verge of a mental breakdown. But he had to keep himself together. He had a wedding to attend. A fiancé to marry. So he swallowed back the tears and started writing.
-----
Alec is feeling light on his feet as he dances with Magnus. Even if he knew what was going to happen by the end of the night. He’d been slowly losing his runes. He could feel them burn away one by one. But for now, the rune on his neck stayed. So at least he could pretend like everything was okay.
And it was, for now. The wedding was nothing short of amazing. Nothing too big, luckily. Although Magnus had given it his own flare. And his husband looked absolutely stunning.
Their dance ended and they moved aside. He hid the grimace as another rune burned away. His time was running out. “I’ll be back, okay?”
“Okay,” Magnus said and smiled at him.
Alec left his husband’s side and took his mother’s hand. “Care for a dance?” he asked.
“Of course!” Maryse smiled brightly up at him, and followed him onto the dance floor.
The pair fell into an easy rhythm. Alec smiled at his mother. “Thank you for everything,” he said. “I couldn’t have wished for a better mother. And I hope you will find happiness.”
Maryse frowned, suddenly wondering if everything was okay. “Alec? Are you okay?” She looked into his eyes, but couldn’t decipher the emotions hidden behind them.
“I’m fine,” Alec said, just as another rune burns away. He smiled, and let go of her. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She smiled at him as he moved away.
Alec found Jace and pulled him aside into a secluded corner. He was once in love with Jace. Or so he thought. Alec had always struggled with his sexuality, until he met Magnus. The warlock opened his eyes for him, paved the way for him. And he was Magnus forever grateful. But Jace was his brother. Jace would always be his brother, even if they weren’t actually related. Jace was also his parabatai, and this was going to hurt like hell for them. Because he knew Jace would be able to feel their bond shatter once Alec’s rune disappeared.
“Are you okay?” Jace asked, waving a hand in front of Alec’s face.
Alec blinked and nodded. “Yeah,” he said quickly. “I just wanted to thank you, for everything.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jace chuckles.
“Why? Can’t I thank my brother, my parabatai?” Alec frowned, before smiling. “Just take it.”
“Okay, okay, lovebird.” Jace put his hands up in defeat. He smiled. “Glad to see you’re thankful, for once. Now go enjoy your wedding.”
“I will,” Alec said. “I just need to say something to Izzy.” He nodded to Jace, and left him then to find Izzy. He found his sister dancing with Simon. He quickly cut inbetween. “Can I borrow her for a minute?”
“Of course!” Simon said and twirled away to dance with Clary.
Alec smiled and looked at Izzy. “I love you, Izzy.”
“I love you too, Alec.” Izzy smiled at him as they danced. She had always been supportive of her brother. And she was so glad to see him married now. He deserved all the happiness in the world.
Alec wanted to say how much he was going to miss her, but he couldn’t. He felt a lump in his throat because he truly was going to miss her. He was going to miss everyone. He knew he would never see them again. He blinked to keep the tears at bay.
“Are you okay?” Izzy asked. She could feel something wasn’t right. Something seemed off. She looked at him.
“I’m fine,” Alec said, and smiled down at her. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the night.” He handed her back to Simon and moved away. He could feel another rune burning away, and slowly, he was starting to forget things. He looked at Magnus and saw him busy with Raphael. Alec smiled, before leaving the room. He needed some fresh air, needed to get as much distance between him and the Institute before he lost all of his memories.
Once he stepped inside, the fresh night air hit him. He breathed in deeply as he felt the tears run down his face. He looked at the Institute, taking in its details, before he left. Walking away from his home was the hardest thing he ever had done. But he knew he needed to. He was about to lose his last few runes and he couldn’t be here when that happened.
He wasn’t even sure what he was going to do with his life as a mundane. Alec had grown up a fighter, a shadowhunter. The thought of being a mundane made him cringe. He wasn’t sure if he could do that.
His hand flew to his neck as it burned. A few seconds later it stopped and his memories were disappearing in quick pace. He found himself wandering the streets of New York. And then, as he found himself a quiet place, his parabatai rune started burning. Alec cried out, sinking to his knees and his hand flying to his side. He pushed it under the fabric and placed it over the spot as it burned. Tears streamed down his face as his parabatai bond broke and the last rune vanished from his body. And then, he felt empty. He felt nothing. He pulled his hand away and it came away red.
Panicking, he pulled the fabrics up and looked at his side, there was blood but no wound. Alec wondered why. And then he wondered why he was here, or who he even was. It felt as if he had just been dropped onto this Earth, into this city, without anything.
Getting up, he started walking. Just walking. Because he didn’t know what else to do.
-----
Jace suddenly cried out, letting go of Clary and falling to his knees. An overwhelming pain took over him. He felt his heart constrict, felt his lungs being squeezed until he had no air left. He gripped his side where his parabatai rune was hurting. It felt as if he was dying. As if he was losing part of his soul. And he knew this feeling. His bond was breaking.
“Jace!?” Clary got down onto her knees with him, holding his shoulder. “Jace, what’s wrong? What’s happening?”
The rest surrounded him as well, including Magnus. But there was no Alec.
“My bond, my parabatai bond, it’s breaking,” Jace gasped. He squeezed his eyes shut as he doubled over in pain. His breathing was laboured. And then… he felt it snap. That string that had connected him and Alec ever since they performed the parabatai ritual, broke in two. Snapped.
“How can that be?” Izzy asked, worried. She looked around for a sign of Alec, but he wasn’t there. “Where’s Alec?”
Magnus looked around. Where was his husband? Why was the parabatai bond breaking? He gulped, the worst scenarios going through his head. What if Alec was dead? If the bond broke, it could only mean that Alec had died. But then, where was he? Why wasn’t he here? Why was he dying? There were so many questions going through his head.
Jace opened his eyes as the pain started to fade, making place for an empty feeling. “He’s gone,” he said, looking up at Magnus with tears in his eyes. “I can’t feel him anymore. Our bond it’s… it’s broken.”
“No,” Magnus said, taking a few steps back. No, it couldn’t be true. Alec had to be alive, had to be somewhere here. There had to be a reasonable explanation for what had happened. But he couldn’t be gone. Magnus wouldn’t accept it. They had just gotten married. This was their wedding!
He looked around, but Alec was nowhere to be seen. “Alexander!” he called, but nothing. “Why are we all standing here!? We must find him!” A sense of desperation overtook him. But the others dispersed, and called for Alec.
He turned and ran for Alec’s room. Perhaps his husband was there. He opened the door and stepped inside. Magnus scanned every part of the room, but there was no sign of Alec. There was, however, a letter. He frowned and slowly walked over to the desk. He picked up the letter. It was Alec’s handwriting. But through his blurry vision he couldn’t read it. Couldn’t read the letter.
He returned to Jace, where Izzy and Clary were still at his side. Jace looked defeated. He didn’t know what had happened to Alec, but to have his bond break like this… He looked up at Magnus. “What is it?” he asked.
Izzy gently pried the piece of paper from Magnus’s fingers and read it. She covered her mouth as tears started streaming down her face. “Oh no…”
“What does it say?” Clary asked.
Izzy cleared her throat.
“Dear Magnus,
By the time you’ll be reading this letter, I will have forgotten everything that has to do with the Shadowhunters and the Downworld. My memories will be gone. I won’t remember you. I won’t remember anyone. If you find this letter, that means my bond with Jace must have been broken. That we’re no longer parabatai. That Jace has felt the bond break.
I considered telling you, telling any of you, but you’d try everything to change the course. The Angels sent Jocelyn Fairchild to warn Clary that she couldn’t use her abilities anymore. That she would lose her memories if she did. So I asked Jocelyn to beg the angels to not do it. But I guess instead of punishing Clary, they decided to punish me. Perhaps for asking such a thing, for all my sins that I’ve committed. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter now.
I won’t remember you. But I regret absolutely nothing. Magnus, I love you. And no matter how much this hurts, I’d want you to move on. We’ve always known that we wouldn’t stay together forever. You’re immortal, after all. And I’m so sorry that our wedding was the final day we got to spend together. But you must move on. For yourself.
I love you. All of you. Please don’t try to contact the Angels, change their plans. It may turn out worse. What has happened has happened.
With a lot of love,
Alec.”
Magnus shook his head, nostrils flaring with every breath he took. Breathing was painful. He felt like he was drowning. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. They had just gotten married. Finally gotten married. And now he would lose his husband? How cruel of a faith would that be? This couldn’t be true.
But it was. He looked down at Clary, Jace and Izzy and saw the pain in their eyes, their sadness. Magnus wasn’t the only one who had lost Alec. They had too.
Maryse joined them so Clary explained what the letter had said. Maryse had read it as well, before covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh no…”
“Damnit Alec,” Clary said, clenching her fists. She was forever grateful that he had defended her against the Angels, but to have the Angels punish him? He didn’t deserve that. She felt an incredible sense of guilt. It was her fault that Alec was now a mundane. That he wouldn’t remember anything. And there was nothing that they could do.
“This can’t be true,” Magnus whispered. He couldn’t lose his husband. Not so shortly. He didn’t understand why his life would be so cruel to him. He wondered what he and Alec had done to deserve this.
“I’m so sorry,” Clary said. “This is my fault.”
“No,” Jace said. “You helped save the world, Clary.”
“But if Alec had never found Jocelyn, this wouldn’t have happened.” Clary looked down at Jace and saw the pain in his eyes.
“No, if he hadn’t, I would have lost you.” Jace managed to get up. He took Clary’s hands. “This is a small blessing, no matter how painful it is.” He looked at Magnus. “I’m sorry.”
Magnus just stood there, feeling emptiness crawl into his chest. Just when everything seemed to be going right… He should have known his happiness wouldn’t last long. It never had. He had never been able to hold on to lovers. And this was no different.
He promised himself that he would either find a way to get Alec his memories back, or to never love anyone else again. Because he couldn’t imagine loving anyone else but Alec. He didn’t feel complete without the shadowhunter.
-----
Magnus stepped into his apartment and closed the door behind him. He looked around his apartment quietly. Maryse and Izzy had insisted at first that Magnus stay at the Institute. But he had refused. He couldn’t. It would hurt too much.
But then, being here, on his own, was hurting more than he could have ever imagined. He made himself a drink and threw it back. He knew drinking wasn’t the answer, and yet it was the only thing he wanted to do right now. Get himself as drunk as he could get, pass out, and wake up in the morning to this being all a nightmare. That he would wake up in his bed with Alec, his husband. He knew that wasn’t going to happen. But perhaps he could dream it possible.
Not having Alec with him made him feel so alone. He threw back another drink and closed his eyes. Perhaps he was simply a big joke to this universe. Like he had always been. Hundreds of years old, waiting for his one true love. And then losing him just when they got married. And Alec even telling him to move on.
Magnus was sure he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. There was simply no way that he would be able to move on from this. He would forever carry this emptiness in his heart.
He threw open the doors to his bedroom, hoping to find Alec there. But the bed was empty. He let himself fall onto the bed and closed his eyes.
“Please come back to me,” he whispered. “I need you, Alexander. I can’t… I can’t live without you…” He sniffled, letting the tears stream freely. “Please come back to me…”
Magnus eventually cried himself to sleep. Something he hadn’t done in quite some time. Slowly, darkness took him over, and he fell into a restless sleep.