Chapter Text
He was kissing him as if it was the last time his lips were to ever touch his. It wasn’t like their normal booze influenced kisses. This was desperate and fully sober. And he felt it. He felt the waves of emotion crash down and drown him.
Gerard Way fucked with Berts emotions more than he knew. He would kiss him, and as soon as Bert turned his head Gerard would want to try to get into Frank Ieros pants. And each time Bert says that he’s over it. As if the empty vodka bottles were to prove an empty lie.
Everyone could see the toll it took on Bert. He was a mess of uncontrollable urges. If he wanted to destroy half of the tour bus, he was damn well going too. And if he wanted to curl up besides Quinn and take in the smell of cigarettes and sweat, he was gonna. And it wasn’t as if Quinn tried to stop him anyway.
But as of now, Gerard came back, and Bert fucking took him back. And they were on the My Chemical Romance tour bus. Bert was backed against the wall, and Gerard was pressed up against him leaving minimal room for movement. Gerards hands lightly brushed over Berts jaw, feeling the newly formed bruise there.
They didn’t feel like ever leaving the kiss, they needed this. It was all they had left for each other. Kisses and empty words. Gerards been hollow for a long time. But Gerard knows that he feels something when he’s with Bert. Whether its guilt or pain. It’s something. Gerard is desperate, and he’s desperate enough to pull at Berts heartstrings just a little long.
Until the moment in which he finds someone else to do that with.
Xxx
That ‘someone else’ came in the form of the now Linsey Way. Gerard had married her out of love, and nothing else. Gerard wasn’t feeling very hollow anymore. It’s as if everything he did with Bert, never even mattered now that he’s found the true love of his life. She was completely magnificent to Gerard. And Gerards never loved anyone quit like he loves her.
Xxx
Bert was the last person to find out. The reason being, nobody wanted to see what Bert would do. Now, Bert McCracken was a very unpredictable person. With the news brought upon him now, nobody was really out of harm's way.
The first thing Bert did was pick up the closest thing to him, which just so happened to be a lamp, and smashed it against the door. He was screaming at anyone and everything. He would deny the tears but everyone knew that they were there. So he simply just continued to wreck the tour bus. Jepha was there. So was Dan, and Quinn. But there wasn’t really much that they could do to stop him. Just watch him fall apart until he was completely broken but not unfixable. Then they would watch as Quinn fixed him, only to have the process start all over again. Gerard was like an addiction, and Bert never really quit.
xXx
Bert had a nasty habit of ignoring his friends in times of pain and he preferred to be brain dead in moments like these. Instead of turning to his friends, more specifically Quinn, he turned to the golden liquid in futile hopes of momentary comfort. There wasn’t enough given.
Bert wanted to forget everything. Forget his hands, his face, his eyes, his smile, his smell. Bert wanted to cut out the part in his brain that makes him remember who Gerard even is. He wished he would just leave it in the past, but Bert can’t. He’s been the happiest with Gerard, and it turned to be quite the opposite since he left.
One day as Berts walking back to the bus from the liquor store, he sees greasy black hair, and a figure unmistakable like Gerards. Bert stops and simply stares. And Gerard turned to stare back.
That made Bert wonder, had Gerard ever really left him?