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“BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU! I’ve always been in love with you…..o-okay” her voice cracking at the end “and I tried…….I tried to get over you, I used mon-el to forget about you but it didn’t work and I knew it would never work because the truth is no one could ever replace you Lena Luthor, and I tried over and over again I tried to push you away but you always came back and I kept falling for you more and more every day and you know what hurts more than anything it was the fact that I knew you could never love me back, it was that you could never need me the way I needed you and I was fine with that. I was f-fine with being close to you in any way that I could it didn’t matter to me how I was close to you…….so…so losing you was the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. I never thought I would feel pain like that after krypton died but when I lost you it felt like I was losing my entire world all over again” the blonde said shaking her head the tears kept streaming down her face dripping into the wood flooring as her fist clenched angrily whilst the other was harshly wiping the tears that fell from her puffy red-rimmed eyes, her cheeks red from crying, the room was tense, the silence unbearable.
The silence didn’t last as the reporter continued “and I know that that’s not an excuse and I don’t blame you for hating me, I just wanted to let you know because I could never live with the regret and guilt of all the what if’s and I know this isn’t what you want to hear, you might not accept this as an answer but it’s the truth. And I’m so fucking sorry Lena, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m sorry that you had to go through me lying to you and I’m sorry that I can’t go back in time and change all of this so you wouldn’t have to live through the pain of betrayal again. I love you Lena Luthor never forget that, please” and with that, the room fell quiet once again.
A robotic voice pierced the silence “Sorry, this number has been disconnected, please try again later” the Kryptonian stares down at the phone lying on the table in front of her the voice once again a reminder that she lost everything all over again and that nothing she could do would bring it back. The tear tracks on her face had dried, the taste of saltwater still in her mouth from tears that escaped her eyes even with her effort of wiping them off, her hands both clenched into fists at her sides.
Her knees finally give out on her as she drops onto the floor with a thud, her body shaking with sadness and anger, her mind filling up again with what-ifs and maybes. she stares blankly at the wall, her expression is neutral but she knew she couldn’t keep up her rouse for long eventually all the feelings and emotions that she bottled up would get unscrewed.
she was torn, sitting there not knowing what will happen next, when she finally got enough of her thoughts she got up using the table as help to fully stand her legs still wobbly as she slowly walks towards the counter on the other side of the room and grabs the bottle that was on it, it was the only thing that she could think of to get her mind off of the bittersweet memories that had kept replaying in her mind, the blonde walks back to the couch and curls into a ball unclasping her cape and using it as a blanket as she wrapped it around herself she opens the bottle of alien alcohol she had found, she didn’t know how they got it or why they kept it but at that moment she couldn’t care less she takes a swing of the amber liquid from the bottle not caring about the droplet of alcohol that made its way down her chin and is now dripping all over her suit.
She wanted to forget, she felt numb like she was drifting away from everyone else or that she wasn’t needed or even apart of this group anymore, so for the rest of the night she drank her sorrows away with the robotic voices message repeating as background noise. She was tired and hurt and numb, she didn’t know what would happen next but it wasn’t as if the others needed her, she was only a burden to this group something to weigh them down or at least she felt as if she was, it didn’t matter anymore she didn’t have a purpose left all she has now is herself and a picture of what once was her family all gone now……
Turned to dust drifting endlessly in space, they were particles floating aimlessly into the cold, vast, empty space with no purpose.