How Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen Became Alcoholics

by TouchoftheWind

Summary:

Lan Qiren knew his blood pressure would be affected when he received the initial request for a betrothal between his youngest nephew and the feared Yiling Patriarch.

He figured though the reason would be different though...

Notes:

• For Monyas, Krysania (Tat).
• Inspired by Getting Jet Lag From Time Travelling by Monyas

Chapter 1: Part One

Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profit from this work.
Pairing: Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian
Warning: Lan Wangji is underage during this fic, however, mentally he is an adult. Nothing explicit here though.
Summary: Lan Qiren knew his blood pressure would be affected when he received the initial request for a betrothal between his youngest nephew and the feared Yiling Patriarch. He figured though the reason would be different.

How Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen Became Alcoholics

Lan Qiren knew his blood pressure would be affected when he received the initial request for a betrothal between his youngest nephew and the feared Yiling Patriarch.

He figured though the reason would be different. He thought the reason would be having to console his nephew and try and come up with ways to make this as easy as he could for Wangji and also try and come up with a way out for Wangji if needed.

He did not count on Wangji's acceptance from the beginning.

At first, he figured it was just Wangji being so young he didn't understand what would be expected of him. As a spouse.

Thus, Lan Qiren resigned himself to the fact and gave Wangji the bird and bees talk that he had only, just a few months prior, given to Xichen. Wangji surprised him again. Taking the information in with maturity and asking questions which were not only relevant but that hinted that he had thought on the subject before.

If he figured out which disciples were talking about this sort of thing in earshot of a 12-year-old they would face punishment like no other.

However, Wangji behaving maturely did not help his blood pressure, especially when the next words out of his nephew's mouth were.

"Do I need to treat an uncircumcised penis differently than a circumcised one during oral sex?"

Lan Qiren needed a drink.

00000

The Yiling Patriarch was visiting again. After the initial and confusing first visit which just confused things even further in Lan Xichen's mind things had settled. Routine went back to normal for the most part after the first visit.

The second visit was less confusing and more mortifying for Lan Xichen.

Wei Wuxian had gifted Wangji with a pair of bunnies, mostly to his Uncle's dismay when taking into account the rule 'no pets in Cloud Recesses', one black and one white. Lan Xichen will fully admit his heart melted when he saw Wangji's eyes soften and he cradled the small animals in his arms. It was adorable.

It seemed Wei Wuxian was similarly affected by this view as he seemed to melt and the look on his face made Lan Xichen think that Wei Wuxian was truly besotted with his brother.

That was then though.

Lan Xichen walked towards the Cold Spring to check on Wangji who had gone there earlier that day after a particularly intense sparing session to relax his muscles.

Whilst walking down the path he noticed just outside the entrance to the Cold Spring was another set of robes next to his brothers. A black and red set. With his heart in his throat, he crept forward.

"Doesn't that feel good?" Wei Wuxian's voice said softly followed by a chuckle.

"Mn."

"You feel so soft..." Wei Wuxian's voice continued softly and Lan Xichen found it slightly mesmerizing, "Stop squirming..."

"Mn."

"That's better...so cute and perfect," Wei Wuxian whispered.

Lan Xichen stepped into the Cold Spring entrance and what he was going to say died on his lips as he took in Wei Wuxian sitting with a tiny white rabbit (one of the ones gifted to Wangji) in his lap cooing at it. By his side sat Wangji with the black rabbit.

"I just came to check on you Wangji, Sect Leader Wei, I didn't know you knew where the Cold Springs are."

"Lan Zhan told me!" The immortal chirped with a grin.

It wasn't until later that Xichen remembered that both Wangji and Wei Wuxian had wet hair.

Perhaps he would join Uncle for a drink...surely they could be spared for a few hours if they ventured to Caiyi Town.

Chapter 2: Part Two

Notes:

A/N: Apologies for the slow update, I have recently lost my Granddad. These scenes were inspired by comments, some ideas were combined to work with my ideas for scenes. Thank you for all the comments- any other ideas then please let me know for the next chapter! Stay safe everyone!

Part Two

The Gusu Lan Sect had officially being invited to Yiling Wei to visit. Lan Qiren didn't wish to visit but one could hardly refuse the immortal. They 'graciously' accepted and set off with a group of disciples and their youngest heir Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji was outwardly calm and showed little emotion as he would normally appear to be. However, inside he was elated and looking forward to the visit and seeing his husband again.

On arrival, the group were greeted by Sect Leader Wei and the Wei disciples. Sect Leader Wei grinned and darted forward to Lan Wangji and grabbed the boy in a hug. Lan Qiren didn't understand how the cultivation world did not understand that Wei Wuxian was basically a child. He whined and moaned at his staff when they wouldn't let him deviate from schedule and sometimes resorted to sitting on the ground with his arms folded to express he wish not to do something.

Wei Wuxian was a powerful idiot.

One which was besotted with his youngest nephew for unknown reasons. Even stranger still was that Lan Wangji seemed to be fond of Wei Wuxian in return.

Lan Qiren cleared his throat and Wei Wuxian gave a sigh and released Lan Wangji was his hold. Lan Qiren was not going to let any rumours about impropriety start spreading since Wei Wuxian didn't seem to care what the other Sects thought of this strange engagement.

"I have asked for light refreshments to be prepared and to be served to your guest quarters," Wei Wuxian started and held Lan Wangji's hand, "please rest and refresh yourselves and I shall give you a tour later."

They were led to a beautiful section within the palace which Wei Wuxian resided and even Lan Qiren nodded at the rooms. Simple yet with enough touches not to insult any visiting Sects. Except maybe LanlingJin, but unless Wei Wuxian was willing to get everything in gold then they would forever remain disappointed with YilingWei.

After eating the light snacks and drinking the tea provided all the Lan's quickly refreshed themselves by changing out of their travelling clothes and having a quick wash.

They joined Sect Leader Wei who proceeded to show them around Yiling for several hours. It took several hours because Wei Wuxian kept getting distracted and would randomly go off into a tangent. Each time he did this Lan Wangji would gently steer his betrothed back to topic. Lan Qiren watched this all with growing concern and confusion.

It was clear that Lan Wangji knew how to handle Wei Wuxian's behaviour and this seemed to show they were a good match, which made Lan Qiren wonder how his youngest nephew got so good to dealing with Wei Wuxian after only seeing him a handful of times.

After the 60th time of Wei Wuxian trying to run off or go onto a tangent which pulling Lan Wangji behind him it seemed that even Lan Wangji had had enough.

(In reality, Lan Zhan had enough of his husband's stupidly long legs since Wei Ying kept forgetting that Lan Zhan was not fully grown yet.)

Lan Qiren could only watch in mounting horror as Lan Wangji removed his ribbon and tied it around a confused looking Wei Wuxian's wrist and holding the other end.

"No running off, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji stated and tugged at the ribbon and walked forward the Sect Leader Wei practically on a leash.

Lan Qiren broke away from the group and stumbled into the nearest tavern.

(Thanks to qwerty2015 for inspiring this.)

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Sect Leader Wei was visiting Cloud Recesses again and this time he was going to be meeting Lan Qingheng-Jun for the first time. Part of this was because there had being talk among the Clan Elders that Lan Wangji's eventual wedding wouldn't be able to go ahead until the Immortal has actually met the Secluded Sect Leader.

Whilst Acting Sect Leader Lan Xichen and Grandmaster Lan Qiren have both given their approval (even if it was grudgingly given) and the acceptance of Lan Wangji there was little to stop it from going ahead without any problems. However, Lan Qiren knew the Cultivation world would wish to make sure traditions were adhered to. Especially if it was something they could use against Sect Leader Wei or GusuLan in the future.

Lan Qiren would not give them a reason to potentially put Lan Wangji in harm's way. He would always be a target for those who wished to undermine his future husband. So Lan Qiren had arranged a meal between himself, his brother, his nephews, and Sect Leader Wei.

Qingheng-Jun wouldn't suggest that the marriage wouldn't proceed as planned when his youngest was of age, he knew how important it was for GusuLan to remain in the good graces of YilingWei. He also knew that if Sect Leader Wei was to suspect at any point that they were trying to wiggle out of the betrothal then nothing was going to stop the Immortal from simply taking Wangji to Yiling and marrying him anyway.

They arranged for the meal to be held at the Jingshi, were Wangji had insisted on living once his betrothal was announced. While it gave Qingheng-Jun a heavy heart to be in his wife's former home he was interested to see what changes his son had made to it.

Qingheng-Jun was stood with his brother and his eldest as they headed towards the Jingshi. Only to stop in their tracks as they heard a moan. Qingheng-Jun gave a glance to his brother who had paled and they all crept forward together.

The moans continued on and they all froze as Sect Leader Wei called out.

"So good, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian groaned, "so talented!"

There was no response from his youngest son and Lan Qingheng-Jun felt himself blush as thoughts began to run through his head at what his son could be doing to make the Immortal moan as such.

Qingheng-Jun marched forward once he had regained himself and flung open the Jingshi door only to freeze as his mind once again ground to a halt.

Wei Wuxian was sat at the table eating chicken, which was bathed in red spice, his face nearly covered in the sauce and looking at his with a confused expression. His cheeks resembling a chipmunk as they were full of food. Wei Wuxian gave another chew to his food and gave a groan, his eyes fluttering shut in pleasure.

"Father?" Qingheng-Jun looked at the side as a voice drew him from the sight in front his him. His youngest son stood with a basket of bread in his hands with a barely noticeable furrow if his brow.

"Apologies for barging in Wangji, I was just eager to see you," Qingheng-Jun practically stuttered out, aware of his brother and eldest son coming up behind him.

As one they all bowed to Sect Leader Wei who had yet to stop eating and moaning around his food. The man simply nodded at them before bowing seated, whilst holding the chicken in his hands, and looked at Lan Wangji.

"Lan Zhan made chicken for me!" he chirped. Lan Wangji nodded and gave a small smile.

"Anything for Wei Ying," Lan Wangji stated and to the shock and amazement of his family glided over to Wei Ying's side and pressed a kiss to Wei Wuxian's forehead.

"AWW! Lan Zhan!"

Qingheng-Jun stared whilst he heard Lan Xichen murmur behind him.

"Uncle, I am sure we are due to visit Caiyi Town soon, perhaps we should go early."

(Thanks to A_F_F and YllkaYin for inspiring this. ZoeAngelikal, while there is a forehead kiss here, I have more planned for the next chapter for forehead kisses!)

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Chapter 3: Part Three

Chapter Three: Part Three

 

Jin Guangshan didn't know why the Yiling Patriarch was so interested in the Second Master of Gusu Lan. He understood the appeal of the boy's looks- he would grow to be stunning. Jin Guangshan often laminated that Lan Wangji would be married as soon as he was of age as otherwise, he may have been able to convince the young cultivator to grace his bed.

 

Thoughts on Lan Wangji aside, this newfound interest the Yiling Patriarch showed towards another showed he was, in fact, a sexual being with desires. All previous attempts at sending concubines or prostitutes to Yiling to gain favour with Sect Leader Wei were unsuccessful. Now, however, it may be different. Surely, having to wait for Lan Wangji to grow up would be trying for any man, immortal or not. 

 

Jin Guangshan decided that the Discussion Conference that was to be held on Koi Tower next time would be the perfect opportunity to try this theory out. The Lan were after all in a precarious position. If Wei Wuxian wished to partake in what was offered then they could hardly say anything in case Wei Wuxian decided to marry Lan Wangji before he was of age- or even break the betrothal and retaliate against Gusu Lan.

 

Once the Discussion Conference had started Jin Guangshan made sure that all his top choices with the most chance of seducing the Yiling Patriarch were the ones who were serving him. He kept a few of his favourites to serve himself of course. 

 

Jin Guangshan was deeply irritated once he saw Second Master Lan alongside his brother he hoped that it wouldn't become an issue. Unfortunately, once Wei Wuxian had spotted the Second Jade of Lan his attention was fully captured and not at all lured towards the beautiful servants within his reach.

 

After a while of this, Jin Guangshan could admit he was losing his patience and motioned one of the servants to try and gain the Patriarch's attention. The young woman leant close to the Patriarch drawing his eye and smiling flirtatiously while pressing her arms inwards slightly making her breasts more prominent. With a demure nod of her head, she poured more wine for the demonic cultivator. Wei Wuxian nodded and grabbed the wine and drank it.

 

"Wei Ying," a voice said and Wei Wuxian immediately changed his gaze to that of Lan Wangji. Jin Gunagshan held back the urge to tell the brat to go sit back down.

 

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian smiled, "Come sit with me!"

 

Lan Wangji nodded and moved forward and to Jin Guangshan's shock sat straight in the Patriarch's lap and gave a cold glare at the servant who was watching, her face paled and she backed away quickly.

 

Wei Wuxian smiled happily and moved to wrap his arms around Lan Wangji and started chatting to him, completely unaware of the hush that had broken out over the hall. Jin Guangshan chanced a glance over to Lan Xichen who was looking remarkably calm with his younger brother sitting in the lap of the Patriarch. Lan Xichen simply motioned to the nearest servant and requested wine. 

 

Jin Guangshan could do with more wine himself now he thought about it as his eyes were drawn back to Sect Leader Wei and Lan Wangji who had made himself comfortable in his betrothed's lap.

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A/N This is the final part- I completely lost inspiration for this story. I'm not much of a writer these days, unfortunately. I figured I should post what I did have for you. Hope you enjoyed this small addition to this story.

Notes:

This came about from various comments on my original fic and inspired me. Any suggestions for other scenarios in which Lan Xichen and Qiren could witness would be appreciated. Shout out to Krysania for being my sounding board!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Getting Jet Lag...