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They've been married for a little over two years when they decide it's time to have a baby. Life has finally begun to settle down now that the new republic has been fully operational for over a year, so they decide to go through the logistics of having having a child. Or Leia does anyways, Amilyn is too busy asking Leia about a million possible baby names they could use. After a lot of number crunching and research, Leia comes to the conclusion it would be safest if she were to carry the baby simply due to the fact her midichlorian count was so high, and there was no way of knowing how Amilyn's body would react to them. Amilyn doesn't mind who carries the baby, as long as she has a say in planning out the baby's star chart, as much as humanly possible anyways.
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"Here you go stargirl." Leia says dropping a list of dates on her wife's lap.
Amilyn who is contently snacking on a bag of cheetos looks up at her in confusion. "What's this?"
Leia all but face palms at her question. "It's a list of days we could possibly conceive on. Y'know since you're so adamant about our future child having the best star chart in the galaxy."
"Damn right I am." Amilyn said licking the cheeto dust off her fingers.
And with that Amilyn made her way to their bedroom collecting all the astrology books, she had stashed underneath their bed, unbeknownst to Leia, and brought them back to the living room.
Leia who was still sitting on the couch was absolutely shocked at the amount of books the other woman brought out.
"Jesus, Ami, are all those books really necessary?"
Amilyn squinted and kissed the tip of Leia's nose. "Absolutely. Our child will be considered a masterpiece amongst the stars."
Leia shook her head and Amilyn picked the first book out of the pile to read.
When Amilyn sat back down Leia rested her head on her wife's shoulder. She never really understood the process of star charting but she always loved watching Amilyn fill them out. Even more so now watching her complete the entire process purely out of love for their future child.
Leia wondered if she even had it in her to be a good mom. Amilyn was already proving her unconditional for this child whom to Leia is little more than just a concept right now.
"Leia, sweetheart, can you pass me the-" Amilyn looked over at Leia who was on the brink of tears.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?"
Leia shook her head and handed Amilyn the list of dates so she could compare them to the book. "Nothing. I'm just thinking."
"About what? Is it me? Is this too much should I stop? I know I said I wanted our child to be considered a master piece amongst the stars but it you want me to stop, I will."
Leia laughed. "Of course not. If I didn't want you to do this I wouldn't have made the list for you in the first place. I was just thinking about how much I love you."
Amilyn squinted at her skeptically.
"You sure you're okay with this? I mean really it's not that important."
Leia frowned. "Ami. Please. I promise this isn't what's making me upset. I love watching you do this kind of stuff, no matter how much I make fun of you for it. It's what makes you special. It's what makes you my stargirl, and who would I be without my stargirl?"
This earns Leia a genuine smile from Amilyn and Leia is happy to reciprocate it before kissing Amilyn on the cheek.
"If it's not this then what's bothering you?"
Leia sighed. "Can we talked about it later? This is supposed to be a happy time. You're planning our baby's star chart."
Amilyn tilted her head and frowned before giving Leia a kiss to her forehead. "Okay but we will be talking about this later. No getting out of this one."
For the next few hours they sat like that on the couch. Amilyn frantically going back and forth between the list of dates Leia had given her, all of her astrology books, and a list of notes she was taking. Leia remained with her head on her wife's shoulder listening contently as Amilyn thought aloud about the star systems and planetary movements, carefully planning their baby's star chart piece by piece. The whole process made Leia fall in love with her all over again.
"I got it!" Amilyn proudly exclaimed, to a very close to sleeping Leia. Leia was initially startled at the sound of her wife's voice but eventually became coherent enough to grasp what she had said.
"Really?! Tell me." Leia begged a little to eagerly. But any doubts Amilyn still had about Leia not being fully on board with this were gone in an instant.
"So I was thinking that maybe a capricorn would be the ideal mix of both of our personality traits. They're reserved, and kind but also determined and strong willed. How does April 1st sound? If you don't think that's best though it's you're body and I'll ultimately be supportive of whatever-"
Leia cut off Amilyn's rambling in the best way she knew possible- with a kiss. When they finally broke apart. Leia smiled. "No it's perfect. April 1st it is."
They put all the books back underneath the bed and get ready for bed. Leia changes into an oversized tee shirt and a pair of shorts, while Amilyn puts on an old hoodie and a pair of sweats because Leia is the biggest blanket hog Amilyn has ever met. And to make matters worse Leia insists on keeping it freezing cold because she can't fall asleep if it's over 70° in the house. The whole thing confuses the hell out of Amilyn but it makes Leia happy so it's worth it, even if that means freezing her ass off.
When they finally get settled into bed Amilyn notices that Leia is laying with her back towards her. It's one of the more subtle ways Amilyn can tell Leia is upset.
Amilyn moved so that she was now laying right behind Leia and wrapped her arm around the shorter woman's waist. At first Leia tensed under the sudden contact but eventually relaxed.
"You know I'm not gonna let you forget about earlier." Amilyn said kissing the top of Leia's shoulder.
Leia sighed and traced random patterns on to Amilyn's forearm that had still been draped over her.
A few minutes pass by before Leia turns to face her. And Amilyn noticed the tear tracks on Leia's checks and wiped them away with her thumb silently, giving Leia the chance to speak for herself.
"What if I can't do it? What if I'm a bad mom?" Leia asked softly burying her face into Amilyn's neck.
Amilyn couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Though it was quickly ended when she noticed the look Leia was giving her.
Amilyn could recognize the fierceness in Leia's eyes. It was the same fierceness that could make a whole crew of men go silent. Not Amilyn. Over the years Amilyn had come to recognize that look as something different. It wasn't one of anger or fury, well at least not entirely. It was one of hurt, a hurt so deep it disguised itself as anger. Leia was angry and confused but above all she was hurt.
She couldn't understand why Amilyn was laughing at her. This question had been eating away at Leia every night since they officially started the process of trying to have a baby. And now here she was exposing her fears in front of their person she loved and trusted most only for Amilyn to return that love and trust by laughing in her face.
Amilyn looked down at Leia with concern etched on her face. "Oh, Princess. You? A bad mom? How could possibly be a bad mom?" Amilyn asked softly pulling Leia closer to her.
Leia shrugged in her embrace. And Amilyn tilted Leias head up so that their eyes would meet.
"Why did you laugh when I asked you if you thought I would be a bad mom?
Amilyn laughed again, "Are you kidding me? If one of us is gonna be a bad mom It's going to be me. I mean look at me I'm a klutz. We'll be lucky if our child survives an hour alone with me."
This earned a teary laugh from Leia. "I hate you." she said snuggling closer to Amilyn.
"Well you should've thought about that before deciding you wanted to have a baby with me." Amilyn teased gently.
"I'm definitely reconsidering that decision. Maybe I should ask Han instead?"
"Yeah sure. Have a baby with Han, that doesn't sound like a plan for disaster in the slightest."
"Could you Imagine?" Leia asked shaking her head.
"Yes and it's horrifying. Now it's getting late and even I know we have to be up early tomorrow for meetings."
Leia pouted. "Fine have it your way."
"I love you" Amilyn said pressing a kiss to Leia's lips.
"I love you more."
