Chapter Text
Nervous leg-bouncing broke the silence of the hospital room, tiredly you followed the leg-bouncing echoing across the room. The irritated, blonde boy just sat there staring at the wall intensely like he could vaporize it with his smoldering gaze. You looked down at your bandaged arms and sighed. The boy wasn't the only one who was irritated now.
You didn't understand why he came to visit you. He never did when somebody else from Class 3-A was hospitalized and the fact he didn’t say much sort of made it worse. His presence made you uncomfortable because of the sheer confusion that came with it, having no answer as to why he even bothered to come.
It wasn't like you remembered much about what happened during the rescue. You remembered him and Deku partaking in it along with other Pro Heroes and that you both talked at some point, but not about what. His voice calmed you at that time and that was probably the only reason that you remembered it in the first place. Everything else was a blur afterwards and now you felt like you blocked something important out.
Your doctors told you that it was natural that you blocked the events out, with those being deeply traumatic, but it started to bother you now. You only allowed those who took part in the rescue-mission to visit you and Deku certainly visited you every day. You and Bakugou have been on good terms since you joined U.A. High School, but it wasn't like you were friends with him. You wouldn't call it a friendship anyway.
"I don't get you", you finally mumbled and Bakugou's gaze jumped immediately to you, "why are you visiting me?"
Bakugou stared at you and you were sure that he was thinking about his reply. You slightly furrowed your brows when he frowned and he took a bit too long for your taste to answer, silence started filling the room again.
"Is it because we kissed?", you added doubtfully, suddenly getting a reaction from him. Now he grimaced at you and you felt like you said something wrong. Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have brought that kiss up.
"No!", he replied and was immediately aggravated, folding his arms like a sulking child, "it's because I promised you." You looked dumbfounded. No way, did he?
"What?", was the only thing that you managed to say in your confusion.
"Don't you remember?", he snarled irritatedly, seeming like he would lose it any second. You shook your head.
"Back at.. the scene", he started and seemed like he thought how to say it to you, probably not trying to trigger something, " I carried you to the ambulance. You mumbled some shit like you wanting to be dead or the man in black would come after you."
Your face gradually became paler and Bakugou glared at you while he finished talking, a shiver ran down your spine, "Since you were panicking, I promised to be there for you and kill that guy if he ever managed to break out. It seemed to work and you calmed down."
"Oh no", you whispered and laughed nervously, "I'm sorry, I-" you paused and looked at him apologetically, "I'm sorry for making you do that."
"It's fine." He didn't seem convincing and you couldn't deny that it was weird for Bakugou to promise such a thing. You were aware of him being brutally honest and he didn't seem like he would lie to you about that. He didn't have any reason to.
"Isn't it bothering you to.. look after me?", you dared to ask, thinking about how to word it for a second and he huffed.
"I'm not looking after you, you're not a fucking kid anymore. Just making sure that you're getting better." Bakugou sounded pretty confident about that and you nodded slowly. The look on your face was still confused, but you weren't going to question him any further. He promised you and that seemed like a good enough reason for now.
You couldn't complain, since his presence was refreshing. He wasn't asking you how you are and wasn't pitying you for what happened. It surprised you that he wasn't aggressive in your presence and somewhat calmer, compared to how you knew him. Maybe it was his way of being considerate after what happened and you secretly thanked whatever Gods there were for it.
The door to your room opened and you both shifted your gazes to the man entering to the doorframe. Your heart stopped for a second upon seeing the black hair and you took a deep breath. It was only Aizawa-sensei.
"[L/N]", he greeted you with a nod and looked mildly surprised at Bakugou, "Bakugou. Could I talk to [L/N] for a bit?"
"He can stay", you said rapidly. The blonde raised his brows at you. The black hair made you uncomfortable, even though you knew Aizawa-sensei wouldn't do any harm to you. You just felt a bit safer with the hotheaded guy around.
Aizawa nodded and approached you both, "We decided that you should return back to the dorms next week, to get used to your previous environment again. Once we think that you're doing better, you're going to be allowed to go back to classes."
Alright, you thought, you were going to meet everyone again then. Your stomach flipped at the thought of facing everyone after weeks of not seeing them. You changed, and you weren't so sure how they would react. Everyone tiptoed around you and you were sick of it. You hoped that your classmates at least would treat you normally.
"I will tell the class to not bother you too much, so that you won't feel overwhelmed. Take your time, since what happened to you needs to be taken seriously. The media's dying to talk to you but we can't let that happen."
A grimace formed on your soft features. The media was the last thing that you wanted to face. They could be pretty rude and you didn't need some random ass man to ask you, with a mic shoved in your face, how the torturing was and how you were dealing with it.
"Will I still get therapy?", you asked, in an attempt to change the topic and your teacher nodded. Bakugou stared at the wall again, this time a lot less intense, what made you assume that he at least listened.
"Thank you for informing me, Aizawa-sensei." You forced your best smile onto your face that was possible and judging by your teachers face, it wasn't very convincing.
"Of course. Get well soon." And he left with a wave.
"Is it helping?", Bakugou promptly questioned, as soon as your teacher left and you were sure that your emotions today only consisted of utter confusion.
"Huh?" you responded.
"The therapy." Bakugou clarified.
You pressed your lips together and furrowed your brows. You honestly hated it - you didn't want to talk about what happened, because it meant that you needed to remember it, and remembering the incident was the last thing you wanted. You wanted it away, like nothing ever happened and to continue your life. Without noticing it, your hair slowly started to float up.
You hated it. The burning sensation of your broken bones returned and you started shivering, suddenly feeling like your body was way too hot. Every little cut burnt at you remembering how they were caused and before you knew it, you sat there again in that goddamn chair, restrained by quirk-cancelling-handcuffs that rested heavily on your wrists.
"It's not easy having yourself a good time", the dark, disgusting voice appeared again and your eyes widened at the familiar voice right before you, looking horrified into the face of the man in black, who smiled down at you and continued singing.
"Greasing up those bets and betters, watching out they don't four-letter", the man sang happily to the upbeat song, knife in his hand, pressing the cold metal against your skin and you choked a sob back.
No no no no no.
"Fuck and kiss you both at the same time", you flinched at the sensation of the knife cutting a freshly healed wound open again, "smells like something I've forgotten, curled up died and now it's rotten."
"I'm not a gangster tonight, don't want to be a bad guy", he sang passionately as he pulled the knife away, exposing his white teeth in a wide smile, "I'm just a loner baby, and now you've got in my way."
Please stop.
You screamed.
"[L/N]!" A hand suddenly grasped your wrist and you yanked your head to the person standing beside you. Having a bewildered look in your widened eyes, you recognized Bakugou's face and the man in black was suddenly gone. You heard a crashing sound and your gaze jumped to your nightstand, that was now broken on the floor alongside with the vase of flowers, laying all on the ground.
"Focus on me!", Bakugou commanded you and you didn't notice how you were having difficulty breathing, "Take a deep breath now, okay?"
You took one, wheezing more than actually breathing in, "and exhale, [L/N]."
You followed after his voice, him repeating it a few times to take a deep breath and exhale, until you were a lot calmer and everything seemed clearer.
"Fuck, you scared me, [L/N]." Bakugou sat down at the edge of your bed and pulled at your wrist, making you look at him again, "I'm fucking sorry for asking, okay?"
You blinked at him. Right. He asked you if therapy was helping.
"I fucking hate it", you stammered and laughed ironically, sounding way more pained.
Bakugou kept visiting you, despite your sudden flashback and you freaking out in front of him. You thought that you scared him off after seeing how he looked then, but you understood after a while that he was more worried about you than scared about actually getting hit by you unconsciously using your quirk. He didn't ask you about therapy again and generally avoided asking questions relating to the incident.
"Are you ready?", he asked you hastily and looked tense. You nodded and snatched the bag with your belongings from your bed, before hurrying to catch up with Bakugou, who already strolled out of your hospital room.
"Thanks for accompanying me back." You searched for eye contact and he hissed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants and stared straight forward.
"Stop thanking me, it's annoying."
"But I am thankful", you countered quietly and smiled a bit, the corners of your lips just slightly raised. Smiling felt like it was too hard, since you weren't really happy. Even so you still tried to. Bakugou didn't respond afterwards and only threw an annoyed glance at you.
You were driven back to the dorms and the closer you got, the faster your heart beated.. It made you nervous to not know how your classmates would react upon seeing you again after nearly a month. You would say that you changed a lot - your confidence left you entirely along your cheerful attitude. What was left was a shell of who you were before, that was completely scarred, both literally and figuratively.
You walked behind Bakugou like a scared puppy, when you entered the building. The familiar scent hit you and the chatter of your classmates filled the big living space on the first floor.
"Ah! [L/N]!", Ashido's voice shouted happily across the living space when she detected you and you cringed, as the attention of everyone flew immediately to you. Anticipating eyes stared at you and you instinctively tried to make yourself smaller, as if that would make you invincible and you both stopped.
"[Y/N]! You're back!", Deku approached you instantly and looked thrilled at seeing you finally at the dorms. You peeked over Bakugou's shoulder and gave the forest-green haired boy a forced, nervous smile. You saw how Bakugou tensed up at the sight of his rival and you mentally prepared yourself for the incoming insults.
"Fuck off, Deku", Bakugou riled and Midoriya stopped in his tracks with the explosive blonde in his way. Before you knew it, the others moved from their places and you automatically placed your hands against Bakugou's back as you got surrounded.
"Welcome back, [Y/N]!" Uraraka beamed at you, "we were so worried about you!"
"It's good to see you all again", you managed to say nervously.
"[L/N]!", Kirishima even joined in and smiled brightly at you, "If you're going to be bored, we can train or play video games together after school!"
"You can ask me too!", Sero even added.
"Move away you extras!", Bakugou cut in, before another word could be said and you looked surprised at his back, "are you fucking deaf? Aizawa told you to not overwhelm her." And with that, Bakugou grabbed your wrist and dragged you with a grumble towards the elevator. You managed to wave nervously to your classmates, until you turned around to walk properly along.
For a second you wanted to thank him and opened your mouth already to do so, but decided against it and closed it. You didn't want to irritate him, since he seemed annoyed whenever you did that.
"You're like my bodyguard now", you attempted to get your old tone back, but you sounded pretty dull instead of amused. Bakugou stabbed the button at the elevator, until the doors opened and he dragged you into it alone, still holding your wrist in his warm hand.
"Like hell I am."
"You can be pretty nice."
Bakugou grunted, "You better hope I be."
You stared down at his hand that held you. It wasn't as pale as the one from the man in black and his touch was surprisingly soft in comparison to the hands that abused you for however long it was. You fought Bakugou before in hand-to-hand combat and he was pretty rough. You appreciated this soft side of his.
"Don't zone out on me again", Bakugou forced you back to reality and you blinked a few times.
"Right, sorry." You shifted. "do you even know on which floor my room is?"
"Of course, I do. You live on the same as the fucking nerd." You hummed. He was right.
The rest of the way to your room was quiet but Bakugou kept checking if you were zoning out again in the elevator. He didn't let go of your wrist and only did so, once you arrived before your dorm room.
"Call me if you need anything", he started and leaned against your doorframe, as you got into your room, "if you get any flashbacks you need to call me."
Well, maybe he was more like a mother to you than a bodyguard. You snorted for the first time in what felt like forever and locked eyes with him. His gaze was serious, but he seemed to relax at the sight of you relaxing a bit too.
"I need to?", you ask him sarcastically and he frowned.
"If you got any better ideas I'm listening."
"I don't wanna bother you", you countered and he sighed dramatically, like you were unreasonably concerned.
"Fucking stop that. Just call me whenever you relive that shit again or I'm gonna flip your damn table."
"Alright, Lord Explosion Murder." He glared at you mentioning one of his first suggested Hero Names and the corner of your lips twitched.
"Fuck off, mindfucker." There it was again, the nickname he gave to you back when you transferred to U.A., after you made him vomit with your quirk in your first fight. It relieved you that he used that nickname again, even though you usually disliked it.
“I’m glad that you’re not treating me differently”, you voiced your thoughts all of a sudden, “everyone treats me like I’m fragile and I’m sick of it.”
“I would never treat someone I respect in a way that would annoy me. Those fuckers don't understand that you can take it."
You froze. Wow, he respected you. That was a huge compliment considering that he was rude to a lot of people. Butterflies made their way into your stomach and you felt like you accomplished something big
"Is that why you're not asking me about the incident?", you questioned him once you collected yourself, curiosity swinging in your tone. Bakugou lifted his brows at you and hummed.
"It's not my business if you won't talk. It's not easy to talk about that shit and I won't ask, but I will listen if you want to." Oh, that's why he wasn't prying. The blonde boy lifted himself up from the doorway and folded his arms. You saw how the door was still open and you nodded at him, noticing how he probably wanted to leave.
"Thank you", you said those words he hated to hear from you, "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Set your alarm, we'll go for a run tomorrow morning." Before you could protest, Bakugou left with a thud of the door and you stared perplexed at the wood.
You grimaced at the thought of going for a run at 7am.