Chapter Text
Similar to how every bad situation Knox Overstreet has gotten himself into started, it all can be traced back to Charlie Dalton.
There is an almost comical song and dance routine Charlie has fallen into that Knox finds himself to be all too familiar with when it comes to Charlie’s attempts at dragging Knox along with whatever “spur of the moment adventure” he has in mind for the evening.
This little routine was something Knox vaguely knew the timeline of when they were neighbors across the hall from each other during their first year at Columbia. Still, it is now something Knox has gotten down to a perfected science since the two of them transitioned from across-the-hall neighbors to best friends turned roommates who had just gotten their first “adult” apartment off campus together.
Charlie always starts his theatrics off by dramatically barging into whatever room Knox finds himself in as a way to announce his arrival. Then, just as dramatically, he will practically start crawling on his hands and knees right through their small foyer into the living room, begging Knox to join in on whatever mischievous prank, party, or spur-of-the-moment adventure he has in mind for the evening.
Knowing this, Knox does not find himself to be all that surprised when he suddenly hears the sound of thundering footsteps coming down the hallway a Thursday evening a few weeks before the start of the new semester. He glances up from where he is glossing over the syllabus for the History of Popular Culture class he is going to be TA-ing for with an expectant raise of his brow, the one Meeks has proclaimed perfected his “unamused TA waiting for the class to quiet down” expression. Sure enough, Charlie is hovering in the entryway that leads into their living room, having the nerve to look sheepish as he starts rolling on his heel like a school kid attempting to hide the vase he broke behind his back.
That innocent look could fool those who don’t know Charlie, but anyone who has known Charlie for at least five minutes knows that look means trouble and that if you were on the receiving end of it, you should run for your fucking life .
“Okay, what are you up to?” Knox demands flatly, not even allowing Charlie to start whatever theatrical speech he had most likely pre-planned before storming into their living room. Knox has figured out in his few-week tenure of living with Charlie that it’s best to try to cut Charlie’s antics off in the bud, or else they will grow to life-size proportions, and the resulting chaos will most definitely ensue.
The shenanigans Charlie pulls on the regular don’t frustrate Knox as much as they frustrate and will forever frustrate Richard Cameron, Charlie’s roommate during their first two years at Columbia and most definitely the easiest to pick on members in their college friend group. Knox guesses that his nonchalant approach to Charlie could have to do with a variety of things; Knox’s similar but more grounded troublemaking streak, the fact that Knox finds a much more amused fondness in Charlie’s practical jokes, or because Knox is more hardened to the kind of shit Charlie pulls as he is the oldest out of three siblings. Whatever it is, Knox knew how to handle Charlie’s antics better than almost all of the poets except for Neil, which has branded him as Charlie’s unofficial handler since the early foundations of the friend group.
“Knoxious, Knoxious, Knoxious,” Charlie sings the nickname he’s branded Knox with as he practically prowls into their living room. He collapses onto their sofa and wrings his hands, raising his eyebrows in a pointed yet strangely comedic fashion at Knox that forces him to fight down the smile that is starting to twitch at the corners of his mouth. “Why would you accuse me of such a thing? With no groundwork to back the basis of your argument whatsoever?”
“Because it’s you and your track record has not failed me yet,” Knox snorts as he closes his laptop, now unable to help the full-fledged smile that’s on his face. “Now, are you going to tell me what’s up or am I going to have to keep prying information out of you?”
The question makes Charlie let out a mock gasp of horror that would give Neil a run for his money.
“You wound me, Overstreet,” he admonishes. “Absolutely wound me. ”
“Charlie-”
“What would your mother say about such rude behavior? I know she didn’t raise you this way.”
“Charlie-” is all Knox can repeat, his voice coming out breathless from how much he’s now starting to laugh.
“Don’t you know it’s rude to just assume that I am up to something? Don’t you think I have learned from the error of my ways and want to turn over a new leaf?”
Jesus Christ, this whole argument is fucking ridiculous.
“You are fucking ridiculous, I hope you know that,” Knox makes a point of telling him out loud, which causes Charlie to let out a surprised laugh that looks forced out of him. Feeling emboldened, Knox continues. “Anyone who methodically wrings their hands like that is guilty of something, I don’t care who you are. It makes you look like Mr. Burns.”
Much to Knox’s amusement, the comment makes Charlie stop wringing his hands immediately.
“Touche,” he grumbles, and the frustrated scowl that is now starting to appear on his face makes Knox let out another loud laugh. To Knox’s surprised laugh, Charlie lets out another snort, and that frustrated scowl is back to his usual mischievous grin. “But fine, I’ll cave, since you want to know that badly what I’m up to.”
He pauses dramatically, which is something he has an affinity for before going into some over-the-top dramatic story, and Jesus Christ, this better be good.
“I need you to bring me to the grocery store.”
And, seriously- that’s it?
“Okay,” Knox says slowly, shifting his posture so he is sitting up straighter. He has to fight the urge to roll his eyes in fond exasperation. “What do you wanna buy from the grocery store that is going to fuck with Cameron?”
“Who said it was to fuck with Cameron?” Charlie asks, a little too quickly. When catching sight of the unimpressed look that Knox gives him, he immediately concedes. “Okay, fine, it’s to fuck with Cameron. I need to pick up some toothpaste and Oreos.”
“Toothpaste and oreos,” Knox muses, practically sinking back into the body of the armchair as he crosses his arms over his chest, a smirk of his starting to make its way onto his face. “Isn’t that a little too cliche for Charlie Dalton’s tastes? Neil would say you lost your touch.”
“I wouldn’t call it cliche, Knoxious, I think it’s classic,” Charlie’s smirk turns into something akin to a genuine smile. “Classic will throw Cameron off his toes. Now, are you going to drive me to the store and help me out or not?”
Knox sits there in silence for a moment. Then two, despite the fact he has already made up his mind.
Similar to how every single bad situation Knox Overstreet has gotten himself into started, he ends up caving in and agreeing to go along with whatever Charlie’s crazy brain seems to have concocted.
As soon as Knox confirms that yes, he will drive Charlie’s sorry ass to the grocery store, Charlie springs up from where he collapsed onto the small loveseat, an accomplished look on his face.
“Knox Irwin Overstreet, you truly are one fine, upstanding citizen, do you know that?”
“Well, one of us has to be,” Knox scoffs with a roll of his eyes as he gets up, sliding on his Oxfords and grabbing his car keys off the counter near the stove before trailing after Charlie toward where he parked his light gray Subaru Forester outside their apartment complex.
Nothing terrible happened on the journey down to Knox’s car, or even the entire drive to the grocery store, save for the routine argument Charlie got into with Knox about how he always listened to the oldies station and never listened to “good music.”
No, it had been when they actually got to the grocery store when shit hit the fan.
They aren’t even through the sliding glass doors of their nearest Trader Joe’s for a full minute before Charlie grabs one of the little plastic grocery baskets and darts into the belly of the store. He hollers something nonsensically over his shoulder at Knox about “needing to grab his supplies” before making a vague promise of meeting up with him later.
Knox stands in the entryway’s automatic door, frozen as he stares at Charlie's retreating form, in a mild state of disbelief at just how quickly he had gotten abandoned.
Some friend you are , Knox thinks with a miffed sigh, before grabbing one of his own grocery baskets and making his way into the store at a slower pace than Charlie had taken on. He starts his shopping by weaving through the produce aisle on the outskirts of the store, referring to the quick grocery list he wrote up in the car every few minutes to make sure he is grabbing everything he needs.
He then made the mistake of heading to the spice store, which, if he had the twenty-twenty foresight, he would have walked out of the grocery store right then and there.
Knox blames Charlie for it, really, due to a once a month argument about whether or not spices were necessary in the kitchen. Knox- who had grown up loving to cook and knowing his way around the kitchen fairly well- was adamant about how spices were important and necessary in improving upon the taste of a meal. Charlie, on the other hand, couldn’t care less. Which always managed to piss Knox off, since Charlie had no cooking experience whatsoever and would rather order takeout before even attempting to cook anything. Which Knox says forfeits Charlie’s rights to any sort of argument, which Charlie counters make him more justified in his staunch, incorrect beliefs.
Knox began making his way down the aisle, his eyes scanning the names on the jars. He grabs some garlic powder and onion powder immediately before taking a few more steps forward, his eyes squinting as he scans over his other options. He ends up getting so caught up in scanning over the spices that he almost misses the two newest additions to the aisle; a short blonde woman with shoulder-length hair and her new tall, brunet boyfriend.
Knox immediately feels himself tense up. Even when only catching a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye, Knox already knows with certainty who is making her way down the spice aisle towards him, blissfully unaware: Chris Noel, Knox’s first real girlfriend, recently turned ex-girlfriend. He had been fortunate enough not to have run into Chris out in public since their breakup a couple of months ago in early May, right when their sophomore year of college wrapped up. It made sense why Knox hadn’t run into her, yet; they lived in the suburbs of New York City. But then again, they lived in New York fucking City, so the odds of running into her at all when they go to two separate colleges in different areas of the state truly confirmed his suspicions that God had a really fucked up sense of humor.
It also didn’t help that Knox felt like their breakup came out of nowhere, too. He thought they were happy, and that things were going great. So when she told Knox that she is beginning not to view Knox the same way and would prefer to “remain friends”, it completely crushed him. He respected the honesty from her, he really did. It just hurt. And it hurt fucking bad .
After a long summer burying himself in summer class work and moving into his new apartment with Charlie, Knox is now starting to grapple with getting over his relationship with her. However, Knox somewhat bitterly realizes Chris didn't seem to have the same problem moving on from their relationship, judging from the domestic Trader Joe’s run with the aforementioned new boyfriend her arm is looped with.
Just the sight of him makes Knox grind his teeth together. Because-
Really, this is just his fucking luck.
It is one thing to spot Chris out and about in the city after an awkwardly one-sided breakup, but it is a whole other thing to spot her with her new rich, football-playing boyfriend Chet Danbury, who somehow managed to look like a smug piece of shit in every single photo she posted with him. Not only that, but the icing on Knox’s already shitty and burnt birthday cake is that they were starting to make their way in his direction. And fast .
Fuck.
So now here Knox is, trying not to lose his shit as he awkwardly shuffles around in an attempt to blend in with the few other spice-aisle patrons who are going to be on the receiving end of an awkward encounter.
Knox immediately vows he is going to kill Charlie when he finds him in the store later because none of this shit would have happened if Charlie had stuck together with Knox when they arrived at the store. Or, even better: if Charlie never dragged him here in the first place.
He contemplates running for it, even prays they might turn around and exit the aisle so Knox can make a mad dash for the exit. But instead of doing either of these things, they begin drawing closer.
Fucking fuck .
Please don’t let her spot me, please don’t let her spot me , Knox practically begs whatever all-mighty being is staring down at him.
“Knox?” a soft, inquiring voice asks instead.
God Dammit .
Knox slowly spins around to face Chris and the devil incarnate, trying his hardest to force a cheerful smile. “Chris! H-hi!” he greets, internally cringing at how high-pitched his voice comes out.
“Hi! How have you been?” Chris has a kind smile as she stares up at him, a stark contrast to the possessive look Chet is sending in his direction. He makes it an avid point to start sizing Knox up in the middle of the aisle, staring with a downturn tilt of his mouth at the way Knox has his sweater tied around his neck.
Knox has to fight the urge to rip it off.
“Um, I’ve been alright,” he coughs, fiddling with the handles of his grocery basket nervously. “I've been busy with summer classes since changing my major and moving into an apartment with Charlie. I also have been getting everything prepped for the class I am going to be TA-ing for in the fall.”
Chris nods her head politely at this and thankfully doesn’t mention how both of them moving together into an off-campus apartment was originally supposed to be their plan for the upcoming year. Knox isn’t entirely sure what he would have done if Charlie hadn’t stepped in at the last minute and agreed to be his roommate.
“Are you still TA-ing for that History of Pop Culture class with Dr. Callahan?”
Knox nods his head, a more genuine smile making its way onto his face.
“Yeah, we've been brainstorming ideas on possibly taking a different approach this semester. We have done a focus on Medievalism in the past but we might do a focus on American Pop culture this semester because my history concentration is in United States history.” After a horrifying moment, Knox realizes he has been rambling for a little too long so he nervously pivots the conversation. “Wh-what about you? How have you been? It’s been a while.”
“Three months,” Chet oh-so-helpfully supplies. The possessive look on his face is now replaced with something a lot more smug and a hell of a lot more punchable as he wrapped an arm around her waist. On the surface level, it seemed like an innocuous gesture. But Knox damn well knows Chet is trying to stake his claim. “Not that anyone’s counting.”
The smile on Knox’s face falls off in an instant. How could someone who is so amazing have such a shithead for a boyfriend? It doesn’t make any damn sense; the fact also made Knox feel a little insecure with himself, too; Knox isn’t a narcissist, but he didn’t think he is a shitty person and always prided himself on his honesty and his tendency to try to do the right thing, even if it killed him. So, if Chris broke up with Knox to start dating Chet Danbury , then is Knox by extension a shittier person?
“I’m good,” Chris smiles easily, promptly ignoring her boyfriend’s attempts at starting some sort of pissing contest. “I got admitted into the advanced nursing program I wanted to get into at Pace a few weeks ago so I am mentally gearing up for a rough semester.”
“That’s amazing, Chris. I know how hard you’ve been working.” Knox says, scratching the back of his head.
A silent lull falls over the group that is so damn awkward Knox wishes the tile floor would just swallow him whole. It becomes even more awkward when Chet asks, “So, are you seeing anyone, Knox?” with such a shit-eating and self-satisfied smirk on his face that Knox wants to football tackle him on the aisle shelves.
Okay, seriously, fuck this guy.
Knox’s face heats up in shame at the question and opens his mouth, but before he can get out even so much as a syllable about how hopelessly single he is, he feels an arm drape lazily around his shoulders, startling him.
“Knoxious, babe, where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you!” a familiar, uncharacteristically sweet voice says from his left, making all of the blood rush out of Knox’s face. He feels himself going rigid, not even having to look over to know who had just come waltzing in on their conversation.
Charlie. Fucking Charlie Dalton is trying to pass himself off as Knox’s boyfriend to his ex and her new boyfriend. God, Knox knew he should’ve said no when Charlie begged him to go to the store.
Knox snaps his head over to where Charlie is standing, ready to ask him what the fuck he is doing when something stops him in his tracks.
“Knoxious?” Chet spits out derisively and there is no way in hell Knox imagines the downturn his mouth makes as he stares at Charlie’s arm. It was a far cry from a smirk; it is a sneer. Chet Danbury is honest to God, sneering at them.
Immediately, Knox feels the anger bubble up in his stomach at the acidity in Chet’s tone, and that fact alone is what makes Knox wrap his arm around Charlie’s waist with his free arm, bringing him so close so that their bodies are pressed together in an attempt to make them look like the picture-perfect version of every gay couple in a Tiffany’s commercial.
Because fuck Chet Danbury. Fuck him . If that is how he is going to be, then Knox is going to go along with this bit for the afternoon on the sheer principle alone that it will piss Chet off.
“It’s my pet name for him,” Charlie explains flippantly. He has his trademark lazy grin plastered onto his face as he talks, but he isn’t fooling Knox for a second. He can tell by the distasteful glint in his eye that Charlie doesn’t like this asshole as much as he does, if not, more. He most likely would’ve decked this guy in the middle of the store while he is at it, but most likely didn’t because- “Oh, and hey, Chris. Fancy seeing you here.”
Chris stares, squinting her eyes at Charlie for a few seconds before her eyes widen in recognition.
“Oh my god, Charlie?! I can’t believe it!” she exclaims with such a bright smile it made Knox’s heartache, hating the way longingness is rearing its ugly head. She flings her arms out and gives Charlie a hug, patting his shoulders a few times before letting go and resuming her place next to Chet, who looks pissed off to see Chris so excited about hugging someone, even if it was just a friend she met as an avenue through her last relationship. “Knox told us that you both just moved into an apartment together, but he didn’t mention you two had started dating.”
As Knox wraps his arm back around Charlie’s waist, he tries his hardest not to feel petty. All Chris gave him was a nice smile and a ‘how have you been?’ and the two of them dated for almost two years. Charlie is Knox’s best friend who Chris only saw on occasion and yet he gets a bright grin and a tight hug. In what world does that make sense?
“It’s still kinda new, so we are working on that transition of calling each other boyfriends. Plus I bet he got distracted talking about the class he TA’s for.” Charlie rolls his eyes, the way he exclusively saves for Knox whenever he does something that amuses him. “Did Knox mention that he is going to be taking up being in charge of the TA training program for the History Department? He’s the only undergraduate in the program but he is going to be the TA advisor for all of the new graduate TA’s this semester cause he has been in the program the longest.”
“Charlie-” Knox starts nervously, feeling his face heat up.
“No, he never mentioned anything about that, that is amazing.”
“I’m a proud boyfriend, what can I say?” Charlie winks, which makes Chriss giggle despite herself, and the dark scowl on Chet’s face grows deeper.
Any feelings of satisfaction Knox has at the annoyed look on Chet’s face immediately dissipate on the spot, however, when he feels Charlie sneak his hand into the back pocket of Knox’s jeans before ceremoniously grabbing his ass. Mortification floods through Knox’s entire body, his face most likely flushing as red as the flannel he is wearing.
This isn’t fucking happening. This isn’t fucking happening.
Charlie did not just grab his ass. In a crowded store. In front of apparently homophobic Chet Danbury, of all people. Whatever weird Twilight Zone episode Knox accidentally stumbled into he wanted out of right now.
“So, how long have you two been dating?” Chris inquires with a tilt of her head after a few moments of enduring a painfully awkward silence that has been filled with Knox gaping like an idiot at the fact his ass just got grabbed and Charlie having an insufferably smug expression on his face.
“A few weeks-”
“Two months.”
The two of them freeze.
Charlie pinches Knox’s ass, clearly a signal of some kind. Knox grinds his teeth together, thinking that if Charlie pinches his ass one more time, he is going to make him walk home. But he thinks he has an understanding of what he’s getting at.
“A few weeks.” the two of them say together with matching grins. Knox crosses his fingers Chris buys the lie.
“That’s lovely.” she beams, clapping her hands. If she notices their blunder, she doesn’t make it apparent. “You two make such a lovely couple.”
“Why thank you, Chris,” Charlie pauses for a moment, taking in the sneer that is still adorning Chet’s face. His eyes lit up mischievously. “How long have you and…. Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t believe I know who you are?”
Knox pinches Charlie as hard as he can, even though he is trying his hardest to fight a smile.
“Chet Danbury,” Chet supplies with an air of arrogance. He straightens his posture, just to be a little bit more of a dick. “I play football at Pace University on a full ride.”
“Ohhh, so that’s why Knox and I haven’t seen you before. We go to Columbia, you see. We just live here in Westchester so we don’t have to pay a fuck ton in rent.”
Chet snaps his gaze over to Charlie, looking like he swallowed a lemon. Knox had to force a cough to cover the snicker he failed to let escape.
“And you are?” Chet asks haughtily. His eyes dip down to examine the vintage Columbia University sweatshirt and gold class ring Charlie had on, as well as his black ripped jeans and his Converse that have holes the size of craters. He then goes on to distastefully eye the basket full of the Trader Joe’s brand Oreos and toothpaste Charlie is swinging with his left hand.
Charlie is the antithesis of every model Ivy League student, so Knox could understand where Chet’s suspicion came from. But Charlie held legacy status at Columbia with his father and a few other relatives attending the school, and while he’d rather go on wild adventures and party than spend his nights studying for tests, Charlie is sharp as a whip.
“Charlie Dalton, goalie for the Columbia men's soccer team,” Charlie introduces himself with a dramatic flourish. “Or as everyone more commonly refers to me: Nuwanda .”
Knox and Chris let out matching snorts of amusement. The vein that had been forming on Chet’s forehead since Charlie started talking only seemed to get larger as Charlie mentioned the nickname that he had brandished himself with.
Sensing the impending crisis that could go underway, Chris took responsibility for ending the conversation.
“Hey, it was so great running into you two. We should definitely all hang out sometime soon.”
No. No, they definitely should not.
“Yes.” Knox blurts out dumbly instead.
“Definitely! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Charlie agrees with a grin and spins Knox around dramatically so they begin walking in the other direction, almost sending Knox tumbling to the ground with the sheer force of his movements. Knox barely manages to wave over his shoulder and catches sight of Chris trying to smother a laugh. Even Chet looks a tiny bit amused. Or at least he did, until Charlie hollers out, “It was nice seeing you again, Chris! And nice meeting you, too, Chad!”
Knox bends his head and giggles and a few seconds later, Charlie begins giggling along with him as they make their way down the aisle, like they were school kids who just put a tack on the teacher's chair.
“You are fucking insane, I hope you realize that,” Knox laughs, but he cannot help the wide grin on his face. “I thought Chad was going to beat us up back there for a second.”
“Well, I’d like to see him try,” Charlie rolls his eyes, but he is laughing, also. “Besides, in my experience, guys who are cocky like that are always compensating for something; he’s either got a really small dick or he’s a shit fighter.”
When their laughter subsides, Knox fixes Charlie with a long look.
“You took me by surprise back there.”
Since it’s Charlie, and they are always in step with each other on everything, Knox doesn’t have to elaborate further.
“What, me pretending to be your boyfriend or grabbing your ass?”
The question makes Knox’s face heat up.
“ Both .”
“Well, I was a couple of aisles over grabbing the toothpaste that I needed when I accidentally eavesdropped on your guys’ conversation. It caused me actual physical pain , so I came over to rescue you. It would be morally wrong if I hadn't.”
“Which you wouldn’t have had to do if you didn’t abandon me at the front of the store,” Knox points out with a raise of his brow, which prompts Charlie to knock their grocery baskets together. Knox mindlessly klinks Charlie’s basket in retaliation. “And what happened to faking an emergency and leaving? Why does ‘fake boyfriend’ rank first on your list of ways to rescue me?”
“Pretending to be your boyfriend and finding an excuse to piss off Chet Danbury, star of the Pace University Football team, was too tempting of an idea to pass up.” Charlie snorts, and Knox finds himself repeating the same thoughts he had earlier: some true friend Charlie is.
“So you wanted to laugh at my expense?”
“Oh no, no. I was genuinely trying to help. And getting to grab your ass was just a bonus,” Charlie grins up at Knox impishly, and then winks , before taking off a little bit in front of Knox so he can get in line at the self-checkout.
Knox stares after Charlie in bewilderment, his face heating up. He has always known Charlie had a crude sense of humor, always making lewd comments or jokes in an attempt to get a rise out of people, mainly Cameron or a few of his soccer teammates.
It’s so strange to see the jokes reflected at him , of all people, that it almost puts Knox in a daze, that only gets broken when a college-aged girl his age asks if he is going to move anytime soon.
Swallowing thickly, Knox shakes his head and moves towards the register, trying to get the whole situation out of his head.