Chapter Text
Amy jolted upright on the couch, drenched in sweat and shaking. Grabbing the nearest pillow, she held on as tightly as she could, trying to pace her breath. Pure fear coursed through her like adrenaline, and she felt so weak.
Ever since she was a toddler, Amy suffered from chronic nightmares. Deadly, terrifying ones, that paralysed her and made her refuse to sleep. Doctor after doctor made the same explanation; “These things happen sometimes,” she'd always heard from outside closed doors, “here's therapy, here's medication, here's a new diet. We can fix the issue.” And yet, she never felt like she’d really been fixed.
Age had been kind though, at least in this case. As Amy grew and found new things to worry about, the nights got easier, her nightmares becoming less graphic, more abstract. It was still every two weeks or so, but Amy would wake up, take five minutes of a meditation app or classical music, and tuck herself back into bed, the next morning coming peacefully.
But that wasn't tonight.
In her nightmare, Selina Meyer was trapped in a glass box. If she tried to break through, she'd be covered in glass and bleed to death, if not, she'd run out of oxygen and cease to breathe. Amy raced around her, trying to find a solution, trying to find tools or get help, but she was all alone. Selina's face grew more and more desperate as she stared out with wide eyes, begging, move, Amy, move. And just as the younger woman figured out what to do, the box cracked and shattered, covering Selina with glass as she collapsed. Amy woke up then, screaming.
As Amy's breath evened, the crying always started. With heavy, wet sobs, she held the pillow tighter, trying to just cry it all out and focus on going back to sleep.
Especially as she remembered who was in the next room.
Amy's nightmares were always about people she loved, and as surprising as it was, it made complete sense that Selina would make an appearance eventually. After years of vulnerability, talking bluntly about their deepest ambitions, hidden lives, and confiding in one another, there was an attachment that Amy didn't dare try and name. If only Selina knew how much she felt it.
“Amy?”
Oh, shit.
Selina came out from her bedroom, her eyes squinting in the darkness. Turning on a lamp, she saw Amy, one of the fiercest women she knew, clutching at a throw and shaking like she'd never seen. Quickly sitting on the edge of the pull out couch, she held Amy gently as she leaned into her side.
“You’re okay, shh, nobody’s hurt, okay?”
Amy nodded back, as Selina held on closer and stroked her hair softly.
“I-I’m sorry if I woke you up, ma’am-“
“Call me Selina, it's fine,” she responded, offering a rare sympathetic smile.
“Um, alright, I just get nightmares sometimes. I’ve always had them and it fucking sucks.”
“I guessed. You’ve woken me up before- oh, don't worry about it, I wouldn’t have slept anyways, those late nights- but I never bothered to ask.” She grimaced. “Maybe I should have.”
“You never had to know, Selina, it was always just something that happened to me. It’s normal. See? I’m already fine.”
Amy looked up from Selina's lap, her head having fallen as she spoke.
“No, you’re not. Do you want a glass of water?” the brunette asked, gently putting Amy’s head back on a pillow and walking to the kitchenette.
“Um, no, but would you, um?”
“Would I what?” Selina asked, turning around.
“Would you just hold me again?” Amy’s eyes welled with tears.
Selina nodded, quickly heading back and holding Amy once more.
“My nightmare was about you, and you were trapped and I couldn’t help you. You, I think you died,” the blonde whispered through her tears.
“I’m right here now, Ames, I’m here, you see me.”
“I know, but I was so scared. You’re.. important, in my life, and I guess I didn’t realise how much I thought so until my subconscious fed me your death wish,” she continued, starkly chuckling as Selina’s expression settled into worry.
“Amy, look at me,” the older woman said, cupping Amy’s chin and making eye contact. “You don’t have to worry about me. Maybe I’m technically in a dangerous profession, okay, but I’m smart enough to not let myself get trapped in whatever hellscape you thought I was in, okay? I’m not going anywhere,” she finished, letting go of the younger woman's face and holding her even tighter.
In truth, Selina deeply cared for her Chief of Staff. Not like Catherine, like a daughter, or even like Gary, who was just as devoted as Amy was. But Gary was reliable for his job, unlike Amy, with her spunk and her charm, and Selina always thought about her differently for it. Maybe like a close friend, or even-
No, no, she couldn’t think of her like a lover, as much as she wished she could. After years of closeness, and Selina's need to have Amy by her side as often as she was, there were a few moments with a spark of something, but they disappeared just as fast. It made Selina sore, thinking about what could have been.
So Selina continued to hold the Amy close in those moments, a rare peace for them both.
Amy woke early the next morning after a dreamless sleep, and found herself confused as to why Selina was still holding her close. But as the memories of her nightmare came flooding back to her and she started to shake, she felt Selina's arms tighten ever so slightly, which calmed her down just enough to fall back asleep. The next time she woke up, she was alone on the pull out, but Selina was quietly reading the newspaper in a loveseat by the window, occasionally throwing glances at Amy to make sure she was alright. The room wasn't tense, but there was something electric between them, even though they'd never dare admit it.
The day passed in another blur, as these trips often did; Mike fucking up again, and Dan being a shit again, and a fundraiser lunch and a team dinner, and then Amy was back in the room before Selina was. Fuck it, she thought, I'll go to bed at nine thirty. Amy tossed and turned, trying to settle herself, trying to forget about her nightmare, trying to forget about how nice it felt to have Selina hold her.
But she was still awake and a quarter after ten when Selina opened the door, and gave a little wave in the dark as she walked into her room to change. A minute later, Amy felt the pull out couch dip as two arms wrapped themselves around her.
"I guess this is just gonna happen?" she whispered.
Selina sighed.
"I'm worried about you, Amy. So I'll stay 'till I'm not."