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Watching Dom walk away was the hardest part of the whole hijacking case going sour. If he could do that – watch the thing he’d wanted most walk away – he could handle anything else coming at him from down the pike. Everything about Toretto had been about adrenaline and for a hot minute, Brian thought he might be the one thing that would slow the man down. He was so damn wrong that it hurt inside. Even now, months later, he couldn’t let himself remember too much for too long.
O’Connor’d given himself up when Bilkins’ guys showed up. He’d expressed complete regret at the loss of their perp and also over the loss of control of his case. The department seemed to think a three month suspension would help the young cop regain his perspective. Brian doubted it, but gladly agreed anyway. Plus, they needed at least that long to get over the fact that without evidence – of which they had almost none – Toretto and his gang were free.
As Brian was carted off downtown for debriefing, Dom’s prized Charger was carted off to Gene’s – a garage owned by an old collar of Brian’s. Seemed Brian had found just enough time to slip the wrecker driver $500 to take the car there instead of the impound lot.
For three months, Bri spent whatever time he could fixing that car. Whenever he wasn’t at the hospital with Jesse. And Vince, too, even though he didn’t exactly welcome his presence at first, but came to regard him somewhat as a friend after he realized the blond was going no where fast. Vince had gotten out of the hospital after a week, but it took Jesse longer. About three weeks, actually, before they found him a rehab to help get him straight. Brian spent a lot of time helping him with occupational and physical therapy, all the while thinking of Dom and all that had been lost that fateful day. At least Jesse came through – that was the only good thing to come out of the deal.
He’d known where Dom was the whole while he was suspended, but it never sat right with Brian to go looking for him. He doubted that Dom was angry anymore – Brian could see it in Dom’s eyes when he let him walk away that day. Could see that anger wasn’t quite what Dom was working through. It was something worse. Betrayal. As far as Bri was concerned, they’d both dished out their fair share of it, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept. And it certainly didn’t give them a leg to stand on if they were going to ever deal with one another again on any level. So, Brian opted to stay away and let bygones and shared, secret kisses that led to the hottest sex he’d ever had be… whatever. The past, he guessed, though his heart and mind both seemed to protest a bit more than Brian liked.
When his three months was up, Brian got offered redemption. Bilkins needed a guy in Miami and that guy just happened to be Brian. Once bitten, twice shy, though – Brian wasn’t as gung-ho as he had been before. He’d gone from cocky to confident. Not exactly jaded, but more aware than ever about how things were really done. He’d woken up – that might be the best way to describe it. Which made him a great match for Carter Verone?
For Brian, seeing Roman Pearce was awesome. Sure, it had taken him a minute to earn back some things with his friend, but Roman had never been the type to hold a grudge for long – lucky for Bri. They’d worked the case for Verone, flying by the seat of their pants and actually liking the unpredictability. The case had gone pretty damn successfully, in Brian’s opinion, since unlike his last job he hadn’t fallen in love with the bastard he was being paid to bring in.
The more into the Verone case he got, the more Dom seemed to creep into his dreams. Hard to chase a ghost, he thought to himself, using Monica much like he used Mia for a distraction. Except Monica didn’t have to mean anything – mostly, she was just fun. Trouble was, she wasn’t enough to stop Brian from waking up every night with Dom’s name on his lips. He knew Dom would haunt him until he found a way to let him go.
Brian had spent two weeks in Miami after the Verone case was done. Hanging with Roman was the best medicine and exactly what he needed to try and further get over his issues with the Toretto case. All good things come to an end though, Brian knew, and after a while he found himself headed back to L.A. for a scheduled meeting with Tanner and Bilkins.
Getting home after a few months away, Brian walked into the small, white house he rented in the quiet suburb of Vallejo and dropped his duffel on the floor, heading straight for his bedroom. He pulled out sheets and made the bed, opening the windows and turning on the fan. He was out like a light and slept like the dead until the next day. His cell, sounding miles away, sounded shrill, cutting through the peace of the quiet room.
Reaching over to the night stand to grab it, I swallow, rasping out a short, “Hello?”
“Officer Brian O’Connor?” the official-sounding voice said from the other end of the phone.
Wincing at how loud it seemed, he nodded and then realized he needed to speak. “Yeah, this is O’Connor. Who is this?” he asked, sitting up a bit.
“Sir, this is the California State Prison – L.A. County. My name is Harris. I’m calling on behalf of Raymond J. Rayford. Your card is in his file in correlation to his son, Jesse Rayford? Do you know him, Officer O’Connor?”
“Yeah… yeah, I know Jesse. What’s this all about?” Brian asked, reaching across the bed for his discarded shirt, putting it on as they talked.
“Sir, Raymond Rayford passed away two weeks ago. We’ve been trying every avenue possible to find the whereabouts of his son, Jesse. We have his father’s remains and belongings – we need an address to ship them to. Can you help us?”
Oh shit, he thinks, heart sinking. Jesse’s dad? Dead? No way. Not Ray Ray. Just… No fucking way. Jesse's been living for the day his father gets out of prison - the kid can’t wait to be with him again. This was gonna kill Jesse and Brian knew it.
“How… how did Ray…” Die, Brian. Just say it, he thought to himself. No matter what he wanted to say, he couldn’t seem to make the words come out.
“Heart attack, Sir. He’d been ill for some time. Seems he died in his sleep – and no, there was no foul play. There was an autopsy to make sure. The man just…. Died, sorry to say,” said the voice Brian couldn’t seem to stand to hear any more of.
“Look, I can’t get an address just now, but… I can come there. Pick up whatever you have. Then I’ll take it to his son once I find him. Is there paperwork I can fill out in order to do that?” Brian asked, knowing there was no way in hell he could ever give Jesse’s address to anyone willing to send ashes of his father to him through the mail. The whole thing just stank of shit.
“Yes. We can sign Mr. Rayford’s belongings out in your name – it won’t be a problem. When can I say that you’re coming?” Harris asked, sounding like Brian had just made his day.
“I’ll come today. I’m in Vallejo – can you give me directions?”
Brian took the directions from the douche on the phone, threw on clean jeans and socks, grabbing his keys and going out to his garage. Dom’s refurbished Charger was sitting under a tarp and Brian’s silver Honda Civic sat next to it, a thin layer of dust covering the body. He’d had his landlord come over every couple three days to start her and borrow her if need be, but clearly she’d not been out for a week or so. The car seemed shabby next to the Black Beast, and the irony of having America’s number one reliable sedan sitting in his garage after spending weeks driving some of the fastest automobiles on the road was not lost on him.
He prayed she’d start after sitting for so long, and as if his car knew what he was thinking, she purred to life after he barely turned the key. With dread, Brian pulled out of the garage and headed toward the interstate. An hour drive ahead of him, he stopped at Starbucks for a coffee and a muffin.
Being home felt odd. He blared the radio and opened the windows, letting the sunshine, wind and heat of the morning seep into his weary bones. It didn’t take long to fill out the paperwork once he’d gotten to the CSP. The douche on the phone looked like Harry Potter grown up behind a desk. Lame, Brian thought, signing his name and taking the man’s card – just in case. Turning, Brian rolled his eyes, pocketed the card and walked out with an armload of stuff – all that was left of Jesse’s dad.
After a long debate during the drive back to Vallejo, Brian decided that the sooner he got the news and stuff to Jesse, the better. No matter how he dealt these cards, Jesse would have to face things and why not now – when Brian could possibly offer a little comfort than later, when Brian might have to be packing back up and leaving on another case.
He didn’t rummage through any of Ray Ray’s things. Just let them sit on the front seat as he made a run the grocery store and got some essentials. Milk, bread, canned tuna, mayo, and most importantly – Corona. He’d taken his groceries home and unloaded them in the stale smelling fridge, then he sat at the kitchen table and pulled up his contact list. Jesse’d been living at a half-way house for over a month now, still needing rehab but not wanting a nursing home. Brian could understand that – nursing homes weren’t exactly Jesse’s thing. He dialed the number to Jesse’s room and when the line picked up, the voice was strange.
“Hi, I’m uh… looking for Jesse Rayford. This is a friend of his.” Brian said, keeping his voice friendly.
“Hey, this is Mr. Franklin. I run the place – this his friend Brian?” the man’s voice was soothing and friendly. Brian had never met the man, but already felt like he liked him.
“Yeah, actually. I’ve been out of town for a while, but was hoping to catch up with Jesse today.”
“Actually, Jesse signed out for the weekend. Won’t be back til tomorrow evening, I reckon. Some friends stopped by and he left with them – seemed like good folks.” Mr. Franklin told Brian everything he needed to know without Brian even having to ask. Jesse, if Brian read it right, was with Vince and Leon. Which meant he was with Dom for the weekend?
“Well, thanks a lot Mr. Franklin. I’ll catch up with Jesse later next week, then. Appreciate your time,” he said gratefully.
“Not a problem. Jesse figured you might call – that’s why he asked to listen out for his phone. See you next week, then,” the man said, before politely saying goodbye and disconnecting.
Brian sat at his kitchen table, head in his hands. Did this have to happen right now? No. Truth was, Brian could wait. But right now, Jesse was with the people he’d need the most to get him through this and Brian knew that better than anyone.
He downed a Corona just to take the edge off and then packed a duffel with jeans, two tee shirts, socks and underwear. If he was seeing Dom, things could go one of a couple ways. He’d be gone quick or staying over. Either, at this point, would be good with Brian. He was tired of running from Dom anyway and seeing him – finally getting it over with – would maybe give his demons a bit of rest.
Grabbing his keys, he snagged a brown sweat jacket from the closet and tossed it in the back with his bag. He thought seriously about driving The Beast, but the time for that reunion would come. This trip was about Jesse and it wasn’t going to be easy. He’d take the Civic and stay focused on being there for his friend. All the stuff with Dom would have to be dealt with after.
When Vince got out of the hospital, he’d told Brian where he was headed. Guess he figured Brian might want to make an appearance. Shake things up even more than they already were. Vince didn’t know that Brian couldn’t take seeing Dom just yet. Hell, Brian was barely sure he was ready now. Still, after Vince had given him the info, Brian had mapped out the whole ride. Even if he never showed up, knowing how to get to Dom was something he felt he had to do.
The team’s new place was in Brawley. About 3 ½ hours south of where Brian lived. He drove most of the way without letting himself think, but as he drew closer and the desert heat grew warmer, Dom became more like a mirage than a memory in Brian’s mind.
Brian could help thinking of how pale he looked against Dom’s caramel skin. The shadows played against their bodies in the darkness and for a while, Brian truly couldn’t tell where he ended and Dom began. Corny, sure, but true. Dom’s kisses were like delicious fire licking up the back of his neck and he pushed inside Brian, breaking down all the barriers within him and claimed him again and again as his own. Their short time together meant more than a lifetime to Brian and no one had ever gotten closer to his soul than Dom.
Brian nearly missed the last turn off and had to slam on the breaks, tearing himself out of his reverie. He wiped a hand over his face and made the turn onto the dirt road, driving slowly, not sure exactly where the house was. He figured he’d be able to tell from the road, but then again, every house looked the same. Spaced far apart, there was dense overgrowth this time of year – dead high grasses covering most of the properties. He’d driven for half a mile when he’d finally found what he’d come for. Four shiny looking low-riders were pulled up tight against a make-shift three car garage. The drive went up about 200 yards or so and Brian pulled into it, parking his car on the gravel in front of the house.
The front door opened and Leon came out. Vince was quick to follow, hand shading his dark eyes, brows furrowed with contempt. All in all, Brian thought it was going pretty well. Leon, like Jesse, forgave easy – coming up and opening Brian’s door for him, reaching out to pump his fist.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” he said, smiling at Brian. All Leon would ever care about is that Brian – cop or no cop – had saved his family. Vince, on the other hand, sniffed the air and wore a foul expression.
“I always figured you’d show up sooner or later. Just hoped it would be later,” he commented with a grunt, but clapped a hand over Brian’s shoulder anyways. His irritation was mostly with himself, it seemed.
Before Brian could ask about Jesse, Letty was standing up the drive, an oil-streaked towel around her neck and a hateful expression on her face. She’d never wear anything else if she was looking at Brian, either, which suited Brian fine. He knew that Letty knew and couldn’t give a damn about it. If and when he and Dom decided it was time, Dom would sort her out himself. He couldn’t blame Letty for pretending that as long as Brian stayed away, he was hers.
“Letty,” Brian acknowledged, looking around for Jesse. Letty said nothing before turning and stalking back up the drive.
“Naw, Dawg. She’s not here. Mia… she’s at school, dawg,” Leon explained, misunderstanding. He pulled him down the drive toward the garage, his hand on Brian’s shoulder sympathetically.
“Actually, I…. I’m here to see Jess,” Brian said sheepishly, watching as Vince caught up with Letty and tried like hell to get her to calm down.
“Jess? He’ll be so glad to see you, man. Said you been working a lot,” Leon said, chatting away as they walked.
“Yeah. I was in Miami for a while. To see an old friend,” Brian said, not wanting to get into the details.
“To bust that big-time drug dealer, you mean. Just ‘cause we’re out in the dessert, O’Connor, don’t mean we can’t get CNN.”
Brian stiffened, head turning toward the voice. Brian’s gaze landed on Dom. He was standing on the back porch with Jesse, and both of them were staring back at him. Brian couldn’t read Dom’s expression, but Jesse’s was easy. The kid looked happy as hell to see him.
“Yeah. I guess so,” Brian conceded Dom’s accusation. “But I also saw an old friend.”
Dom seemed to want to let it go and Brian was grateful for that. Jesse, who had come around Dom and down the porch steps, had Brian in a hug.
“Hey, man. I called your new place and heard you flew the coop for the weekend.”
“Yeah, I… needed to get outta there, ya know? Get my head back on straight. Get some normal,” Jesse said with a smile. “You gotta see what I’m cookin’ up for Dom’s new car, man.” And it seemed like Jesse wanted to show Brian right then, but the sight of Letty standing inside the garage made him change his mind.
“Maybe later, man,” he said. “Come on… let’s have some iced tea and you can tell us all about Verone,” he coaxed, and Brian followed.
Hovering on that last step, Brian waited for Dom to move a few inches so he could go past. He didn’t. Seemed he was content just to stare at Brian, so Brian stared right back. Without blinking or flinching or backing away. He waited Dom out and finally, after Dom inhaled Brian deeply before taking a step to the side, allowing Brian access to a seat under the big umbrella. Leon joined them and so did Vince.
“Wait. Iced tea ain’t gonna cut this shit. Brian, hold that thought, huh? I’ll run get us some beers,” Leon suggested and Jess stood up, too.
“I’ll go with,” he said, giving Brian a shoulder squeeze as he stood up again. “Don’t spill any of the good stuff til I get back, right?” Jesse said, heading off with Leon.
Vince sat beside Brian and Dom sat across, none of them seeming to know what to say.
“I gotta take a leak,” Vince announced, annoyed with how awkward things were and not able to take it anymore.
“Uh…” Brian said, wishing he’d thought of that one first.
“So, you finally made it out here, huh?” Dom said, getting comfortable, his feet stretched out under the table, knocking them against Brian’s.
“Wasn’t easy to find this place. Woulda missed it if not for the cars,” he nodded toward Dom’s latest collection. “Guess that’s the point, though, right? That it’s hard to find.”
Dom said nothing. Just sat there, amused, watching Brian make lousy small talk.
Brian knew he sounded like an idiot. He needed to get his bearings and fast. Focus, he thought. You need to do what you came here to do, not make eyes at Dom all night. Do that, and you’ll fuck your life up all over again. Yep, he was used to telling himself off – someone had to.
“Look, man… I woulda never come here if it weren’t for…”
“For what, Brian? What the hell did you think coming here would prove? That you aren’t the lying sonofabitch cop who fucked up all of our plans?” Letty was standing on the top stair of the porch now, glaring at Brian. She was practically begging Dom with her eyes to agree with her. She wanted Dom to send Brian packing and send him packing now.
“Letty, you need to get some air,” Dom said, without turning around. His eyes never left Brian’s once.
“Dom, he needs to leave us alone,” she tried again, with more hate in her voice than ever.
“He’s not leaving, Letty. Get over it or go get some air,” Dom said, still calm as Brian had ever seen him.
Brian could see the girl was visibly shaking. If she had a gun right now, Brian would be dead. He only hoped she stayed out of his car – he packed two whenever he drove anywhere. Reflexively, he put his hand in his pocket and clicked the auto lock on his keychain just to be sure it was locked.
Hot, angry tears slid down her face as she turned and walked to her car. She tore down the driveway like a bat out of hell. Brian flinched as she sprayed up gravel, the dust enough to rise up and bring grit to his eyes.
“Man. Just like old times, right? Guess I’ll never be sorry about me and her never being friends,” Brian finally said, shaking his head.
“Her neither,” Dom added, grinning.
“So, you were saying?” Dom’s arms were folded casually across his chest; like he didn’t have a care in the world and was hanging on Brian’s every word. Brian couldn’t last under the heavy, dark-eyed gaze. He stood up, and turned toward the sunset, resting his hands on the old porch railing. Without turning to look at him, he told Dom what he came here to say.
“It’s Jesse’s dad. Ray Ray’s dead, Dom. He died of a heart attack a couple weeks ago. Guess they didn’t have Jesse’s new address and were looking for a contact. They found my number in his folder and gave me a call. I came here to tell him. Some douche at the CSP called me, wanting Jesse’s address. He was gonna mail him Ray Ray’s remains – how fucked up is that?” Brian said, both still pissed off and hurt for his friend at the same time.
Dom’s expression changed. He sat up and was somber. To Brian, he looked so much like he did that day in the garage – when Dom showed Brian the picture of his own father and told him everything about what happened after his death.
“I…. just figured it’d be better to tell him with you guys here. You know, to help him through it?” Brian tried, hoping he’d made the right choice by coming to Dom.
Dom stood up and walked to Brian, put his arms around the slighter man as if he just couldn’t take being so far apart for one second longer. Instinctively, Brian let his head fall back on Dom’s broad shoulder while placing his arms over Dom’s. Neither of them said a word for a long time.
They moved only when they heard Leon’s car pulling in the drive. Dom let Brian go, but this time, when he sat down at the table, he put Brian right next to him. Vince finally came outta the house and joined them and Brian smirked.
“That was one helluva long piss,” he teased, and Vince balled up a napkin and nailed Brian in the head with it.
“Just figured you love birds needed some time alone,” he said, and Dom picked up the napkin and whipped it at Vince’s face.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, man. It’s cool” Vince said, looking pointedly at Brian and then at Dom before getting up to go help the guys with whatever they brought back.
Brian wondered what it meant to Dom to have Vince’s blessing – not that he’d acknowledge just what that blessing was. Jesse came around first, carrying bags of chips. Leon came next carrying four cases of Corona and some Cuervo.
“Should make for an interesting night,” Brian said quietly, brows raised in Dom’s direction.
Dom just shrugged and grabbed Jesse’s bags, taking them in the house after sitting the kid down next to Brian.
“What’d I miss?” he asked, and Brian and he started talking the way they always did. About anything and everything.
Bowls of chips and salsa were set up around them and pitchers of Long Island Iced Tea were set up, too, as well as Margaritas. Dom was set apart from them for a bit, grilling chicken skewers and shrimp, batter dipped and wrapped in bacon.
Letty hadn’t returned for the meal, but all the guys were stuffed after eating. The other guys started cleaning up as Jesse and Brian sat, still talking. Finally, Jesse got serious for a bit, letting Brian know about a letter he’d received from his father.
Brian listened as Jesse told him he thought his dad might be dying. That that letter he’d received might just be the last he’d ever get. Brian pulled him into a hug when Jesse asked him if he’d go with him to see him sometime soon. He could barely tell Jesse the truth about Ray Ray and why he was there, but he finally got it out. All the guys held him in a group hug while Jesse cried over the loss of his dad.
When Jesse was ready, he talked about his Dad. About how he always knew this was going to be how it would end up. And about how different his dad wished things had been. There was no one at the table who couldn’t relate to that and they all raised a glass and toasted the memory of Jesse’s dad.
They stayed up late together, even Vince sharing stories from the past, finally drunk enough to loosen up. By the time they’d moved inside the house, it was nearly midnight. Dom threw in a movie, but Jesse begged off, saying he was too tired. Dom stashed the kid in his bedroom, making sure he was alright before letting him turn out the light and go to sleep.
Vince and Leon made it through half of the movie before getting up to go crash. That left Dom and Brian alone on the couch, both of them staring at each other more than the movie.
“Guess Letty’s not coming back tonight,” Brian guessed, his head lazily resting on Dom’s arm.
“You really want to talk about Letty?” Dom asked, lifting his arm and bringing Brian closer.
“Nah, I guess not. Just thought maybe one of us should bring up the fact that until 5 hours ago, you had a girlfriend you maybe gave a damn about is all. But it doesn’t have to be me, no,” Brian said. He didn’t move, but he didn’t make any effort to bring Dom closer to him, either. He was too busy wondering how the man could turn it on and off like that.
“I called Letty, Brian. She ain’t answering. Trust me, she knows I give a damn. She also knows….” Dom let it go, fingers brushing against the soft curls of Brian’s hair.
When Brian spoke, his tone was soft, but his words were sharp. He needed Dom to know that before, things were complicated because of secrets needed to be kept. This time had to be different.
“She knows what, Dom. That you’re mine now? That as soon as we met, it was over for her and you? Is that what she knows? Because to be honest, I don’t even know that. I mean, feel that, but I don’t know it. You never... No. We never said it.”
And there it was. The beginning of the talk Brian could never seem to play in his head quite right. Probably because Dom was so unpredictable he could never imagine what the man might say.
“Come ‘ere,” Dom finally said after a long minute. He even slid his hand down under Brian’s arm to coax him over onto his lap. Knees on the cushions on either side of Dom’s hips, Brian sat on Dom’s knees, staring into the dark pools of his eyes, his own full of curiosity.
“You want us together now, Brian, we’re together. You want me to say it’s over with Letty, it’s over. Hell, it’s been over for months now, she just don’t wanna let go. Brian, why do you think I haven’t come looking for you? I know you can’t believe I don’t want you. Just like I’ll never believe you don’t want me. I haven’t come to you because I knew you weren’t ready. And that when you were – or when I couldn’t fucking stand it anymore – we’d… find each other. So, no more of this Letty bullshit, okay? I promise I won’t use her or anything else as a crutch to come between us if you won’t. Truth is, I don’t want anything between us right now,” Dom said, giving Brian’s waistband a playful tug.
Then his dark eyes flashed and went serious. He leaned up, slanting his head before cupping Brian’s face and kissing him. Brian melted into the kiss, boneless by the time Dom was through, hands on Dom’s broad shoulders, gripping him just to stay upright.
“Wait… what? Here?” Brian said, looking around the living room.
“No more bedrooms,” Dom said with a sigh, grinning as he tipped Brian over onto his back. Crawling on top of him, Dom settled between his already open legs. “Besides – been waiting way too long for this. Can’t wait. Not even one more second for you,” Dom whispered, crushing his mouth to Brian’s.