Chapter Text
"What do you say boy!" spat Uncle Vernon on top of me as he took his payment for, 'being kind and letting me go back to school'.
It hurt. It hurt so much. I was screaming inside, my nerve endings on fire. I knew I was bleeding but hadn't let my internal screaming escape so far. I was very good at hiding pain and emotions by now, it came second nature to me. Choking out the words, in fear of my voice failing me, I managed to stutter out a response.
"Th-thank you Uncle Vernon, for letting me go back tomorrow. I'm not good enough for it!" I lied, feeling disgusting at being overpowered by a muggle. But Uncle Vernon had been allowed to do whatever he wanted to me since I can remember. I hadn't even known sexual assault wasn't OK until I was ten. He got off me and I lay still, knowing the pain would only be worsened if I moved.
It didn't matter, a blow to the head nearly knocked me out as my Uncle growled, "Put it back you freak! It's time for your final punishment before the other filth come and collects you tomorrow."
'It' referred to my glamours- they had slipped during today's 'kindness' revealing my true, abused form; not the slight, slim frame the rest of the world saw. He laughed at his own words and I swelled (with little effect) in rage turning on the bed to face my torturer.
"The Weasley's are not filth!" I said in as loud a voice as I could muster, which was, admittedly, not very impressive. I immediately regretted my outburst when I saw Vernon pull his trousers back on from where he'd dropped them to receive 'payment'. Then he pulled his belt off;
"You're going to regret talking to me like that boy. Lucky if you can even walk tomorrow! On the bed, all fours now!" he ordered and I know there was no use in fighting him. He was blocking the door and was easily four time my size. My size being just over half the size of an average 12-year-old and Uncle Vernon competing with whales.
I winced as my bottom protested at the movement. I got into the now-familiar position and didn't bother to attempt to brace myself, knowing it only made the situation worse. The first smack came and I was proud that I didn't so much as wince.
Seeing this and getting angry at my lack of reaction, Uncle Vernon upped the power and frequency of the hits as he swung the spike-studded leather.
"It was only going to be 30 boy but 50 is all you deserve for that outburst freak. You will learn respect" I had blacked out by the 17th. What a great Christmas holiday this was turning out to be!
oOo
Waking up in a very unfamiliar place I looked around and was shocked out of my mind to find myself on the Hogwarts express. How on earth had I managed to get here without my conscious knowledge?
I rubbed my eyes as my stomach lurched a bit getting used to the gentle sway of the carriage.
"Sleeping beauty awakens." "Good morning young Harry, thought" "You'd never wake up the way" "You sleep!" the twins spoke in their swapsy turvey ways. I recognised these voices coming from somewhere above me and then noticed I was on my back.
I sat up slowly to discover I'd been lying across the twins and blushed furiously.
"M'Sorry!" I mumbled shyly. I was not yet used to real human contact again, so even as I sat up and moved away, I still watched the occupants of the room warily, and with a tinge of fear.
"How'd I get here?" I asked curiously
"We found you asleep mate!" came Ron's voice on the seat opposite me. "Your Uncle said you fell downstairs and knocked yourself out. Must have been pretty nasty too because you slept a good 4 hours from your house in the car to here." He explained and I nodded confusedly.
There was nothing to gain from not going along with my Uncle's lies except a stronger glamour needed. I made a point to act happy and exuberant the entire train ride- if anyone suspected anything, my Uncle would take a prolonged session of 'payment' from me. No one suspected a thing and we arrived at Hogwarts with the worst incident being Malfoy and his goons turning Scabbers pink.
xXx
Sitting through the welcoming fest back after Yule I was proud of myself for not drawing too much attention to myself. I only flinched when Ron clapped me on the back as I commented of the funny little first years but no one caught it thankfully.
No one but Snape. He had been watching me throughout the entire feast. Not directly! But I saw the sideways glances and half-hearted glares. This hadn’t happened last year and I wondered what I could have done to make him so angry.
I hope it was worth getting a broken rib or two to finish that potions essay! I wasn’t allowed to do my homework at my relatives’ house but I managed to sneak some parchment out and a quill to do the big essays. I had been caught but my wish magic had saved the essays spelling them back into my trunk away from the danger of my Uncle’s brutish hands.
Trying to shrug off Snape's evil glare I forced myself to perk up and was glad when he stopped trying to burn a hole in my head via staring alone. Going up to my dormitory I was so pleased to have not raised any suspicion on myself I didn’t notice where I was going. I was on the floor.
“Are you really that blind Potter?” I heard the voice of Draco Malfoy and winced as I felt my scars re-open on my back as I landed hard on them. A swift kick was delivered to my chest and I wheezed on all fours standing up “Or are you that stuck up that you believe everyone should make way or bow down to Precious Prince Potty?” He asked with malice making the Slytherin’s around us chuckle.
Out of nowhere Snape appeared between us and all of the Slytherin’s immediately quietened
“All ready causing trouble and drawing attention to yourself Potter I see! Disperse!” were his only words before turning away knowing full well no one dared to cross him on the first day of school back after Christmas. Everyone immediately turned and walked away to their common rooms as I trudged back up to my dorm and got gingerly in bed promising to look at my old wounds the next day.
XxX
A couple of weeks passed in which Harry tried to hide his injuries but unfortunately Quiddich didn’t help. He had only been back 3 days before his ribs were worsened by a fall and he hit his head diminishing his magic supply so deep from healing that that he could not heal his other injuries that could cause permanent damage.
lOlOlOlOlOlOlOlOl
Lining up outside Potions for the first lesson on a Friday were the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's. Whoever decided it was a good idea to have the two houses in the same room as open flames and boiling liquids must have been suicidal. Potions was the worst lesson of any given day for the Gryffindor's, purely because of the Professor's prejudice.
The Slytherin's on the other hand loved their teacher's class as they were treated like royalty compared to any other House thanks to their Head of House; Professor Snape.
The door to the dungeon slammed open allowing a graceful bat like man to waltz out cloak billowing behind him as he stared at each student in turn. His gaze lingering just a little longer than necessary on one student in particular. This student was no other than the famous boy-who-lived, Harry Potter. Who, if it was anyone but the son of Lily and James in his place, would no longer have the title.
Severus Snape, potions professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcrafts and Wizardry, had had it out for Potter since day one. Harry had no idea why this was, just that it was unfair, seeing as he had done nothing to harm or irritate the man in any way. It was a good thing he was a teacher, or Harry was sure that he would be the exact same as Uncle Vernon.
"Inside" drawled their teacher in a monotone voice, letting them through the door as they all scrambled about so as to not be the owner of the front desks.
Snape whisked in after them his cloak spinning around him as he turned. Everyone was seated and he walked up to his desk as though he had all the time in the world and smirked at the look on the Gryffindor's faces. Pure nervous horror, on all but 3! Ah... how he loved injecting daily terror into their lives on a day to day basis. God knows they needed it life- wasn't all they thought. Nowhere near as happy-go-lucky as the brats thought it was. If any of these pupils had this view on life it was Potter.
He had only spent a year and a half with the boy and knew he must be spoilt at home. He was so happy and friendly. Everyone else had been convinced he was mistreated as a child but Snape knew better, no one could have a mask on that strong- apart from himself, of course. No-one had known, not even Lily. He knew the effects of abuse and they did not turn a child into the arrogant little rule breaking brat that was the bane of his existence. Potter!
When he had gone to the boys house that summer just to check and make sure Lilly's son was OK his suspicions were confirmed as he laid his eyes on a huge bedroom filled with toys and a big bed. It was obviously Potters and Severus had been all too right in confirming his suspicions.
This is why he told himself he must give the boy what he deserved. The boy needed to learn what hard work was. He'd probably never worked a day in his life. He was a carbon copy of his father arrogance included and waltzed about the school as if he owned it. Snape would not allow this and subdued Potter any chance he got.
THIRD PERSON'S POV
Explaining to the class that today's lesson was relatively easy made them all groan. Not because it was going to be boring. Far from it there was always something that went wrong when Neville Longbottom had anything to do with it. "No!" they groaned, knowing it would only be worse if, and when, they would inevitably mess it up. And they were sure to.
Waving his wand arrogantly he made the instructions for a simple sleeping draught appear on the board. He gave them half an hour of controlled chaos before deciding to check on everyone's potions. Strolling about the room sneering at the Gryffindor's shoddy attempts at the potion he was shocked to find Potter had brewed it perfectly. Staying silent as there was no possible reprimand he could give the boy he only sneered and rounded on the next little cub; Longbottom! He grimaced down at the stewing cauldron and rounded on Neville who flinched.
He always enjoyed taunting this one in particular. He wanted to see just how far he could push the boy before he finally cracked. There was always a child like this in every ear. A quiet one, one who let everyone do anything and just stayed quiet. Snape enjoyed these children. He would push them and torture them with insults until one day… They cracked. They stood up to him like no other child would. It made him almost proud to be able to help a child like this though Neville had shown signs of doing this a little earlier than he had planned. Normally it would happen in Third year but here they were not even half way through Second year and he could see the young boy's anger swelling. Maybe he would live up to his parent's reputation after all. He had nearly been Potters double after all.
SNAPE'S POV
Stupid prophecy! Oh, how I regret changing my loyalty to Voldemort. Everything would have gone so much better if those on the light side had done what he did- given me a family. A messed up, insane family, but a family nonetheless.
Poor Alice. There was no need for her torture that had led to madness, it was horrifying to watch let alone experience. Unimaginable pain all dealt by the hand of a fellow follower. I knew better now. Spying was the only way to keep Lily safe. I had to. And now I'm stuck guarding Potter and trying to shape him into a resemblance of a disciplined child instead of the arrogant spoiled brat who showed up at the Feast.
After giving Neville a thorough scaring and making sure he handed in a 3ft essay on the proper way to brew the potion (He always wrote better than practical, so I let him make his marks up this way) I was delighted to find Potter's potion overflowing and the Wizarding Worlds Hero scrambling on the floor with my Godson. Ah... how fun life could be.
"Potter, Malfoy. Get up. Now!" I commanded and grabbed both boys' collars, wrenching them apart.
"The rest of you may leave your samples on my desk and leave." I informed the class thrusting both boys each onto a stool facing each other as they tried to commit murder via stares alone. "Now" I boomed when no one seemed to be moving. I smirked at the effect I had on the students. It was instantaneous; the classroom was empty within 30 seconds.
Turning slowly to face the boys on the stools I sneered at Potter giving a silent command for him to be silent before questioning Draco.
"What was the meaning of this Draco?" The boy smirked at being addressed as such and being allowed to answer first. He shot a pompous look at Potter before answering.
"Sir, I just commented on Potters potion saying how perfect it was he leapt on me. I didn't do a thing Sir it was all his fault." I could detect no lies in his first statement the sneaky little Snake, using slight Legilemency but the second sentence definitely held a bent form of the true story. Seeing as I was a teacher and needed to be 'fair' even if it was Potter, I turned away from my godson putting a sneer on my face but faltered as I saw the boy cradling his arm slightly.
Surely I wasn't that rough when I positioned him on the stool. I had pulled him there using his upper arm yes but by the look on his face he was hiding a great deal of pain. He glanced up and righted himself noticing me staring at him and dropped his arm failing to fully conceal a wince.
"Is this true Potter?" I asked deciding to ignore the boy's actions as he did. Waiting for and answer and not getting one I moved towards the boy who again flinched. What was wrong with him? I had never lifted a finger against any child let alone Lilly's son, so why was he afraid.
"Yes sir. But I didn't start it!" He croaked out in a strained voice. As if afraid to tell me the truth? There was definitely something wrong with this child. No child ever admitted to wrongdoing like that surely! The bell rang signalling next lesson so I gave both boys detention tonight separately of course lest I want the castle ripped in half.
They were polar opposites and didn't seem to be able to stand one another's company. Letting them run off to their next lesson after assuring myself I could delve deeper into the mystery that was Potter tonight in his detention with me, I sat down and started grading essays in the next hour I had of a free period.
THIRD PERSON'S POV
Harry couldn't believe he flinched, in front of Snape. Twice! How could he show such a weakness in front of the one teacher who hated him more than Harry hated the Dursley's? His arm had become excruciatingly painful after Snape picked him up off of the floor. Uncle Vernon had already broken it that Christmas when he had to go home due to 'safety precautions'. 'Home' was never safe for Harry!
It was nearly healed and Harry could use it quite well… until now. It seemed to have re-broke and Harry had tried to heal it again like he normally did with minor cuts and so on but was too drained with his Glamours. He had been quite good at wandless magic since he could remember. Especially when it came to healing. He would get hurt or beaten and be sent to his cupboard for a long, long time without help or food and wish that it didn't hurt so much. Not that he couldn't handle pain. He could!
Living with the Dursley's, his whole life had been pain, being beaten every single day he had to learn to deal with pain quickly and keep quiet about it. Freaks didn't deserve help. Weird kids like him shouldn't be allowed anything but pain. That's what the Dursley's had taught him. Chores every day, too many for someone his age. If they weren't done, beatings. If they weren't done to their standards, beatings. If they were done, beatings. His uncle loved the belt, fists, power and outright abusing his over Harry to cause harm.
His back also hurt quite a bit and he suspected the scar had opened when he was on the floor wrestling Draco for slipping something into his cauldron. His potion had been absolutely perfect before Malfoy had mucked it all up as usual. No matter how hard he tried Draco would always slip something into his cauldron and spoil the whole potion.
Going through this day in particular was hard. It had only been a week since he came back from the Christmas holidays. He hadn't wanted to go home, but he had to. All students went back to the 'safety' of their 'families'.
He tried not to flinch when anyone came close. Ron had always been overly physical for Harry's liking but that didn't really matter, he just dealt with it.
He tried not to cradle his broken left arm though the throbbing only got worse.
He tried not to look suspicious at lunch when he didn't eat much. He discovered at the feast that he could never eat as much as anyone else because of his home-life starvation but it had gotten better over the months he had been at Hogwarts.
As the day went by he noticed his friends talking without him and throwing glance at him from time to time as if checking he was still OK. Was he that suspicious? Leaving the Great Hall early after getting tired of his friends curious behaviour, why did they care so much anyway, no one else had before, he groaned realising he still had detention with Snape.
Walking down the steps to the dungeon and feeling the cold more with every step, Harry froze outside the Potion Masters office. He had had plenty of detentions with Snape to know he would be scrubbing nasty cauldrons for a couple of hours, how could he hold still a heavy cauldron with his left arm when it was all broken. How could he tell Snape he had been the one to cause the re-break? Sighing quietly he opened the door to the Potions Masters office after hearing an 'Enter!' and carefully picked his way towards the desk. He couldn't avoid this even with an awful injury like he had. Why should Snape care? No one cared. He had been taught that from a very young age. No one cared an ounce about Harry Potter.
SNAPE'S POV
As the boy sat on the very edge of the chair and looked up at me in utter fear, my whole being jolted. Surely I was not this feared by my pupils? What on earth could I have possibly done to Potter to earn such a terrorized gaze directed at me? The boy then sat up straighter and put on an obviously forced smile that was a little too fake for my liking. I crushed any doubts I had about the boy's previous behaviour and got back to the matter at hand.
"The cauldrons are in the closet as usual Mr. Potter I expect all of them done by the time I come to inspect them. Come with me." I ordered and went for the boys shoulder to show him to the closet. As soon as my hand got level with the boys shoulder, he flinched… So it had not been a fluke this morning.
He seemed to realise what he had done a fraction too late and looked up at me with wide eyes starting to shake with fear. This was definitely not my doing. What had led Potter to be like this?
“What’s wrong with you Potter?” I questioned without any real venom because the boy was starting to worry me.
He started leaning away from me as I reached out again and when I gave him a stern look warning him not to test my patience, he looked at me as though as I had a gun to his face he spun around on his heels and bolted still cradling his obviously injured arm.
I groaned at the thought of chasing Potter through the castle but smirked at my own cunningness as I pulled out my wand and flicked it towards the door, it swung closed and clicked into place. I was going to get Potter to explain what was going on in his perfect life if it was the last thing I did.
The boy kept running to the door and skidded to a halt trying to wrench it open. After a couple of seconds (he was a faster learner than I thought!) he turned around to me glaring at me with the arrogance and confidence I had come to know from Potter. It was comforting to see he was still able to be like that yet I don't know why this of all things gave me comfort. Nothing did these days!
"Let me out!" Potter said in a deathly serious, though panicked, voice that made the smirk drop from my face.
He knew I knew! This was a worse reaction than I was expecting and I was momentarily lost for words. I thought the boy would panic and start having a tantrum or moping about his perfect life, but Potter was obviously stronger than I had thought. He was guarding his emotions very well. In the first time of 17 long years I was lost for words! Regaining my composure quickly I straightened my posture striding over to the boy and giving him my best 'you're doomed' glare.
"No" I answered simply. And he broke.
That was it. Literally. In front of my very eyes. He slid down the wall to the floor and choked out a sob. His appearance was changing. He was getting smaller. Growing thinner. Cuts made themselves visible on almost every inch of his body! His eyes grew darker and less bright. He shook and quivered as he sat hunched up crying to himself quietly. Too quietly.
No child had ever, in all my 12 years of teaching, cried this way. He was choking back sobs quite literally. Trying to force himself to stop crying and be quiet. Children cried for attention, not in sadness. There was nothing for a child to be sad about. Apart from certain children with horrible pasts. Like you, Severus! A voice in my mind said. But no! Potter could not have had a past like mine. He was a spoiled brat just like his father, I assured myself. But in the back of my mind my conscience awoke screaming in Lily's voice.
'Does this look like a spoiled brat to you Severus? Take a closer look!' I grimaced at this and did so regarding the broken Hero before me with utter sadness at my failure to keep my promise to his mother. To protect Lily's only possession left on earth. Suddenly the boy was unconscious. The strain of keeping such powerful glamours up for a long time had obviously taken its toll.
My instincts took over as I ignored the horror that crouched before me and scooped the boy up. He woke up straight away and yelped as he shrunk himself even more in on himself pushing against me.
"Hush child, I'll only get rid of the pain. Don't panic Potter I'd never raise a hand against you." I assured the boy. Not really knowing why I needed to assure the boy just that I did have to. I carried him over to a couch in a room just off of my office where we had been and transfigured it into a tall hospital bed to allow me better access to any wounds that hadn't yet presented themselves.
How long had Potter been wearing glamours? The boy had obviously not told anyone otherwise he would not be so distraught at the prospect of someone knowing his problems. Then again we never did have an ideal student/teacher relationship. I see now that my perceptions of the boy had been off. Way off. How could he have appeared so happy yet be so broken?
The boy tried to sit up but immediately paled. Putting a hand on his shoulder I pushed him back down onto the bed with a whimper. He had stopped crying now which was worryingly fast. And just hiccupped from time.
"How long have you been wearing Glamours Potter?" I asked in a soft tone I though long gone. Half of me had died with Lilly and I thought it never to return. Until now! He wasn't shaking so bad anymore and managed to choke out
"Always!" this threw me off a little bit. Usually Glamours drained a wizard of power very quickly and could only be used for a few hours at most. But here Potter said he used them always? When did he start?
"Drink this. Calming draught!" I informed the boy and he just eyed the vial with distrust. "Potter just take the goddamn potion! It will be delivered one way or another!" I threatened and his eyes went wide as he shook his head once again clenching his eyes shut. I sighed knowing this would not do anything to help the boy trust me but hyperventilating and feinting were not on Potter's to do list so he was taking the potion whether he liked it or not.
"Fine!" I gave in and latched onto the boys jaw with one hand muttering 'Imobulus' and relinquishing Potter of all control over his limbs lest he fight me and spill the precious concoction. Though his limbs were useless he still had use of some muscles. Including those of his jaw. I spun his head round to face me and looked into his eyes making sure not to glare but give him warning. I did not enjoy doing this but would not hesitate if need be.
Forcing the boys jaw open I smirked at the look of defeat on the boy's face. Pouring the potion down slowly I pulled him up into a sitting position and massaged his throat helping him swallow. He did so without protest and the effects were immediate. His breathing slowed, his shaking ceased completely and his pulse dropped to a more normal rate than that of a humming bird which it had seemed to have been racing for the past 5 minutes.
"There, that wasn't so hard was it Potter?" I asked in a goading tone and Harry grimaced as I took the binding spell off of him.
"What are you going to do to me?" he asked regarding me with fear and trepidation. I put a soothing hand on his shoulder and was glad to see he didn't flinch. Must be the potion.
"I need to heal all your wounds Harry. I'll get madam Pomfrey to do a deep history scan on you later but for now I need to treat all of the serious wounds and I need you to explain them all to me. Can you do that Harry?" The seeker on the table seemed to take a moment to think before he nodded reluctantly (I made sure to pry into that later) and started off. I picked up the arm he had been cradling and asked him to explain.
THIRD PERSON'S POV
"Well when I went back sir, I… angered my Uncle. And he doesn't handle anger well. He hit me a little and I'm quite small so he broke my arm easily." He said slowly, trying to remember the details. He wasn't sure why he trusted Snape just that the man hadn't sneered at him or called him weak or made fun of him. That was all Harry needed to be able to trust. After being neglected of care for so long it was quite easy for him to become close to someone who cared for him.
"The last holiday was Summer Potter and that was nearly 4 weeks ago! Surely it can't still be broken this bad!" Snape asked as he gently lifted the broken ligament that was bruised badly and whispered 'Episkey' mending the bone back together though it would still be weak for around a fortnight. Harry looked ashamed at this statement and answered;
"Y-you re-broke it sir, this morning. I managed to fix it last week after leaving my shields down for a day and getting my strength back but it was still weak and when you picked me up… it broke again!" he let out in little more than a whisper.
"And was this a regular occurrence in your household Potter?" Snape enquired. Harry had flinched at his last name so Snape made a mental note to cease calling him such when he could help it. Not getting an answer he proceeded to nudge the boy who lay on his back as blood seeped out from beneath him. Snape still hadn't seen his back for which Harry was glad but he was frozen with fear as Snape widened the tabled before rolling him over. Snape wanted to get all of the serious injuries dealt with first and the boy was losing a lot of blood from his back. How was the boy not crying out in pain at even any physical contact?
"I take it this was their doing! This is abuse Harry. How could you not tell anyone?" Snape asked through gritted teeth that made Harry wince. Snape had seen his mark. Every day after Harry cleared the table when dinner was finished, uncle Vernon would waddle into the kitchen and throw Harry over the table taking his top off and re-open the wound.
Snape was stiff with shock. There, on the boys back, spread out just beneath his shoulders, was the word 'freak'! Just those five letters, done in an untidy scrawl, carved into the skin with all the grace and poise of a raging rhino. Snape had seen this form of torture before- it was Bellatrix's favourite way of marking muggleborns.
“Would you be able to show me if I used a spell Potter. You will see it happening also but it means you won’t have to tell me about it!” Snape urged and Harry nodded at him
“Harry?” he asked and Harry looked up into his eyes. He smiled sadly at the child on the table “Good boy… Legilimens!” He whispered and Harry was dragged back into the memory until it finished and everything went black
And with that, the two were silent; one trapped in unconsciousness, and one trapped, momentarily, in memories.
Coming out of his revere he set to work cleaning all blood off of the boy before he woke Harry up having healed all small cuts evident on the child.
“Enervate” he whispered and watched the boy stiffen up still on his belly.
xXx
As I came to my senses I notice 2 things 1) I was on my belly 2) my minor cuts and dried blood was gone. My breathing hitched as I noticed my top was off and I scrunched up into a ball not taking in my surrounding throwing my glamour back up getting ready for the insults, the belittling, and the torment.
“I can’t help you if I can’t see what going in Harry! D-did he do this?” I heard Snape's voice crack and this unimaginable feat made me snap back to reality. I rolled over, wincing as my back protested and sat up slowly and looked up at him nodding slightly. “No Harry… Lay down now, you’ll get dizzy if you’re upright. There we go!” He advised as I lay back down thoroughly confused. I felt fine! The man swept around the table to my right side went over to my pant placing a calm hand on my waist band. I tensed at this knowing I had scars there as well. I hadn’t taken my full glamours off yet and wasn’t about to. Until…
“Potter?” Asked Snape and my eyes snapped to his warily. His eyes darkened. He whispered “You’re wearing others. Aren’t you?” I looked down at the ground ashamed before nodding and letting them down. All of the bruises on my back and face worsened and I knew both scars were now bleeding. The one spread across my back and the one on my rear. My eye was swollen and my right shoulder ached badly now. I also knew the welts and gashes would be wore evident across my back, the ones that got worse the lower you went.
The hand on my waist band made itself known again and I squirmed uncomfortably until it stilled my frame and the Potions Master spoke again
“It gets worse. Doesn’t it. May I?” He asked and I squeaked burying my head in my folded arms and nodded as they were vanished. I heard him gasp from behind me and something popped into existence as it was rubbed onto my back steadily getting lower as I started to panic.
“Potter I assure you this is not the first case of abuse I have seen. Though be sure it is the worst!” He told me and I flinched at the name. “Shall I continue?” he asked gently and I looked up at him still lying on my belly.
“Why are you being so kind?” I asked and the Potions Master froze.
“Does it bother you?” He asked quietly. He seemed nervous but there was something else in his eyes as well. Understanding?
“No sir!” I admitted going formal with discofort. “S’nice!” I added in a whisper to myself and saw the hint of a smile play at my professor’s lips. “But why?” I asked again prompting my question.
“Because I know exactly what you went through!” Severus said looking straight at me and through me in a way.
“Oh!” I said realising what that must mean I sat up and hugged the professor tightly. He went stiff at first and I whispered “M’sorry!” burying my head in his robes and feeling oddly comforted while slightly awkward.
“You weren’t the abuser Harry you have nothing to be sorry for!” The man said and I pulled away lying back down and saying
“But you know how I feel sir. And for that I’m sorry. No one should have to live through what I’ve lived.” I whispered keeping the apart from me out of my sentence but Snape seemed to read my thoughts.
“Not even you Harry!” He assured me while going back to his work as I tried my hardest to just stay calm. “Care to tell me about your life there?” He asked as he rubbed the potion into my thighs now and I relaxed greatly. My bruises and signs of beating had as good as vanished.
“No sir!” I said quietly in a defeated voice, I knew he’d make me do it anyway so I don’t know why I was putting it off. He was probably the type of person who believed talking about it ‘relieved a weight’ or something like that.
“Do it anyway!” He offered in a way that made it compulsory. I sighed.
“Where do I start sir?” I asked honestly not knowing what I should say to begin with. I kept it all formal because I didn’t want the professor to know anything so personal about me but then again I felt like I needed to tell him!
“Start with your normal day!” Severus stated as he eased me up and brought the hospital bed I was on to a 45o angle while I lay on my now only sore back.
“I’d wake up and listen for the footsteps. When my aunt let me out I’d-“ Snape looked up from the notes he was taking
“Let you out? Of where?” He asked, shock evident in his voice.
“My cupboard sir.” I stated plainly.
“A cupboard?” He confirmed and I nodded. “You lived in a cupboard!” He yelled and I winced and flinched backwards unknowingly turning the pillow I was clutching into a stuffed lion I hugged to my chest. Snape froze momentarily and stared at the lion. I dropped it instantly, letting it fall to the floor. Slowly, he bent down to pick it up and placed it beside me before poising to take notes again.
“Then I’d make their breakfast and go upstairs to wash.” I said thinking ahead to anything I should miss out. Snape was extremely vigilant and it wasn’t helping me in the slightest!
“When did you eat!” He asked emotionlessly, I could tell he’d pushed emotions away when they threatened to spill over. It’s what I did nearly every day!
“That wasn’t part of my… regular day sir!” I admitted quietly
“When did you eat Potter!” He snapped obviously thinking I was being hard on purpose. I stared at the floor.
“Every week mostly, every 3 days if nothing was wrong… something was always wrong!” I whispered with tears in my eyes.
“May I cast a diagnostic?” he asked and I nodded not really knowing what it was but letting him do it anyways. I trusted Snape like no one else I knew. For what reason I wasn’t sure. The man wasn’t molly-codling, or personal, emotions weren’t high but… it was like he could see right through me without me having to say a word.
He murmured an incantation and took in a sharp breath.
“What have you eaten in the past 48 hours Potter?” He whispered urgently. I flinched at the name but he seemed to ignore it.
“Toast sir.” I answered. “Everything I eat comes back up.” I added. I hadn’t eaten a full meal since the banquet and that was only because everyone was watching. I went early to every meal and lay my plate out to look like it had already been used. I never ate much to begin with never mind now!
“Madam Pomfrey will have to tell us what you can and cannot eat at the moment. Mr. Potter why tell no one?” He asked in disbelief. I shook my head. This, he would not understand. “Why!” He prompted harshly.
“New beginning!” I mumbled to the floor and he scoffed.
“I am not a bat Potter although I’m sure you’ve heard rumours. Speak up boy!” He said sharply and I flinched so bad at his last word I would have fallen off of the bed had he not caught me.
I blushed at being in his arms and squirmed. “Stop moving or you really will hit the floor!” He warned and I stilled immediately. He smirked gently at me and I leaned back to the bed where he placed me resuming his seat. I felt an odd sense of loss when he had released me, like I needed to be held. It was ridiculous.
“The next step is the hospital wing to catalogue all of your injuries before I can have you removed from your relatives house into a safe adopted family.” The Potions Master explained. I whined at the mention of the nurse. I hated doctors and always had done.
“Can’t do doctors!” I wheezed out.
“Calm Potter I will be there. Needles won’t hurt you!” He joked lightly but it didn’t help at all! My breathing became erratic and the world began to blur until a vial was pressed to my lips and it all went black.