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Love and Beauty

Summary:

A musing of what the Master's past might have been like, and how his future might turn out.

Notes:

“Well, I haven’t been at Tenjin-ya for long…but I’ve known the Odanna much longer than that,” Ginji tells Aoi in the manga, and these words made me wonder about their past. This wasn’t originally meant to be a fic per se, just me trying to sort out my speculative headcanon. I wrote this in the pre-pandemic days when I was working on part 2 to Count the Stars, of which one specific line I wrote put me on this tangent, to figure out what makes the Master tick. XD Basically, I tried to piece together some of the events of the anime with a tiny bit I’ve read so far (sometimes between the lines) of the light novels, and fill in the rest with a whole lotta made-up stuff. I desperately do not want Ginji to end up alone, so naturally an OT3 with the Master, Aoi, and Ginji was the only way to go—and really the only thing that makes sense to me anymore. :)
So, SPOILERS for the anime!

Work Text:

Oni were never meant to love.

The humans call us monsters, demons, and ogres—the bringers of evil and misfortune in their folktales, and rightfully so. We are, at best, selfish creatures only looking out for ourselves, never showing compassion or weakness. At worst, fiends capable of the darkest horrors known in this realm and the next, truly creatures born in hell. Some of the cruelest ayakashi I know were once my brethren.

I never wanted to be like them.

They cast me out of their lives once they realized that I refused to play by their rules. I knew what my values were, and I knew what I wanted from this world. I would not compromise. I would not be a monster.

But I nearly became one.

 

***

 

A human partner is among the highest prestige an ayakashi can hold. We are curious beings, always looking for some new fad or novelty to embellish the days of our long lives. Humans are indeed fascinating creatures—unpredictable and adorable and entertaining and occasionally infuriating. And so weak, so easily frightened. To take a human as your spouse is an indication of your ability to win them over, to draw them under your spell. To keep a human as your spouse shows your utmost level of self-control, for they are said to be utterly delicious, among the most exquisite delicacies known in the hidden realm. To not devour them shows the highest of inner strength. If you can rein in a human and keep them at your side, you are surely an ayakashi of exceptional character.

I find the very notion ridiculous and exaggerated. A marriage to a human, whose lifespan is a fraction of that of an ayakashi, could hardly result in any sort of lasting happiness. What an unequal pairing it would be, in all senses. And should such a couple manage to find true love for each other, any children born of such a union would certainly be ayakashi. What human would choose that kind of life?

Humans are said to be bewitchingly beautiful creatures, but I have no interest in such a marriage.

I have no need for beauty.

I have no need for love.

But I do want to change the world. And for that I will need power. Influence. A name for myself. A reputation. So I intend to find a human girl, take her as my wife, use her to get to where I want to be. I will not destroy her. She will simply be my tool.

 

***

 

I find her in a shadowed shrine outside her village, a serene place surrounded by fragrant pine trees. It is late, and the rustle of her sandals against the stone path breaks the quiet. In the light of the waxing moon I can see she is perhaps twenty, pretty enough with long black hair, her kimono of a silk that suggests she is no mere peasant’s daughter. I don’t know what she is doing here alone; even in the Apparent Realm, the stories of being snatched away by oni are passed down from generation to generation. If only they knew we were not mere fairytales. She knows I am here. I can sense her hesitation, hear it in the slowing of her steps. Still, she will be easy to subdue and whisk away. I reach out from the shadows and grab her, fingers closing tightly over her warm wrist, and she struggles in vain to wrench herself away. In the fray she cuts her skin on my nails and her blood stains my hand, and in that moment I realize I am doing something very dangerous.

An overwhelming desire I have never felt before overtakes me so quickly I am sure I am being enchanted. A desire so frightening I would do anything to fulfill it.

Her life pulses wildly in her veins and bleeds on to me, and I know then and there that I want it—her life, her spirit, her very essence. I want to consume it, devour it, make it part of me. I do not need her as my bride if I could just have her delicious existence.

I will never forget the look of utter terror on her face.

I hate myself as I pull her hand closer, hate that a mere human could have this kind of effect on me. Her eyes are wide with fear and her dread is such that she can hardly even struggle now. The temptation is so intense, so close… There are other human girls in this realm. I would just have this one. I will relish her life…

…and then she is gone.

Brilliant blue ayakashi fire flashes before me, and everything falls dark and still. The overwhelming desire for human life that had so intensely taken me suddenly diminishes into an empty numbness now that she is not here.

There is only blackness.

I am alone for some time in that dark, unfeeling place. And then I see him.

A kitsune.

A nine-tailed silver kitsune, to my dazed eyes as radiant as a divine messenger. Is he the guardian of this shrine? A god himself come to punish me?

I nearly devoured her, I realize with a growing panic.

The kitsune watches me with neutral expression, eyes as blue as the spring sky. He seems to carry something in him, some goodness to hold on to in this darkness. I feel drawn to him. I look more closely and for a moment he seems a woman with long silver hair, as fair as a moon goddess, and then he is a man again. I wonder if this kitsune is playing tricks on me or if I have truly lost my mind.

“Where is she?” I ask him, hardly wanting to know the answer. I want her back here, but I also want her to be far away from here.

“She is safe,” he replies, and I am relieved. I believe him. He watches me for a long time, almost as if he can see into my heart. Somehow, I feel he is worthy of my trust. “Come,” he says finally, offering his hand to me. “I will take you away from this place.”

I hate that he has seen this part of me, the weakness and ugliness I cannot hide even from myself. “I want to be alone,” I tell him.

“But I am here with you.”

“Just let me go. Back to the hell where I belong.”

“I will not let you go.”

“Do you not fear me?”

“You are terrifying. But I do not fear you.”

“…Who are you?”

“Ginji,” he smiles at me. “And you?”

I give him my name. I trust that he will keep it safe.

“Come,” he says again, taking my hand in his.

 

***

 

The darkness fades back to the night of the Apparent Realm again and we leave the shrine and the village it overlooks. I wonder if the girl has found her way back. Ginji leads me down wandering paths and I don’t pay much attention to where he is taking me, as disturbed as I am with what just happened. I hate that I can’t tell whether I feel sorry for her or for myself.

We finally arrive at a ryokan, a traditional inn tucked away in the countryside. We hide our horns and tails from the human front desk attendant who welcomes us graciously, and Ginji reserves a room. I am not in a state of mind to argue with him. The room is fine, and I immediately turn in for the night, with little care as to where or when Ginji sleeps; I expect he will see himself out. Sleep comes surprisingly easily, and I fall into a deep, dreamless slumber.

The next day, Ginji has not left and breakfast is already laid out on the table. I have no appetite for it, and I do not get out of bed.

The third day, I despise myself and want to die. Ginji opens the sliding doors so the inn’s gardens are visible from my futon.

The fourth day, I am so ashamed of myself that I cannot look him in the eye. He pulls me out into the gardens, and we walk for a while under the warm late morning sun. He has brought a bento along, and we rest among the peonies and wisteria to share a light meal. Simple inarizushi have never tasted so good, and I realize how hungry I am, having eaten little in the way of food here so far.

“She is okay, you know,” he tells me. “The young woman. I went back to her village while you were sleeping.”

This is welcome news, and I find my relief reassuring.

“She told her family that she was nearly taken by a demon, but an angel appeared and she was able to get away. They don’t believe her,” he says, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“…Are you making fun of me?”

“Of course not,” he says. “Only the stories they tell of us.”

Her story is truth.

“I would have devoured her.”

“…Would you really?”

Would I?

In the clear light of the sun, it is easy to think more highly of myself.

“You would absolve me of this sin, just like that?” I finally turn to him, amazed.

“No. I only want you to know that she is okay. You will be too. Humans are unexpectedly strong sometimes,” he says. “But…promise me that you won’t forget her.”

As if I could. I don’t understand this person, why this complete stranger is telling me this.

“Ginji…why are you here?”

“…I feel like we were meant to meet,” he says after a long moment of thought. “You have a good heart. I want you to see beauty in the world again. I want you to love.”

 

***

 

That night, the nightmares finally find me. I expected them, awaited them, even, as a deserved recompense. But I could not have predicted how intense they would be. I wake up with a start to a jarringly quiet room aglow in moonlight. My heart is pounding wildly and cold sweat chills my skin. What I dreamt was far worse than what I did to that girl, and I wonder if that is how it would have turned out had I…

I exhale a long, shaky breath.

Ginji is sleeping on the futon next to me, blissfully unaware of the torment I have just seen. Has he been there every night? I still cannot grasp why, or what he wants from me. He wants me to love? I hardly know how to do that. To see beauty? I look at him again. The moonlight catches on his silver-white hair and he is so kind and giving and good without having any particular reason for it, this person who I feel like I’ve known my whole life. He is so very extraordinary and beautiful to me then, and I realize—I want him.

I want him.

An altogether different sort of desire rises quickly once I give this selfish thought a name. I want him so intensely it burns away every remnant of the nightmare’s chill.

I do not understand why he has given me such trust, such closeness without fear… I lean over, gently brush aside his hair and kiss him lightly on the cheek. He stirs awake at my touch, and our eyes meet. I kiss him again, a little lower, on the line of his jaw, lower still down his neck, the soft skin of his throat. He breathes my name, and I his.

“Ginji… I need to see something beautiful…”

His hesitates, but then his arms draw around me, careful at first. He pulls me closer. His fingers are in my hair and I press against him. He doesn’t say anything when I find the cross of his yukata’s collar. I kiss him there. He doesn’t stop me when I draw the collar aside just enough to show more skin. I kiss him there too, and manage to draw out a soft sigh.

I want to be his. I want him to rid me of these sins with his beauty.

I want him to make me a good person.

“No,” he gasps suddenly. He pushes me away then, with such quiet strength that makes it clear that he is an ayakashi of power equal to my own. “No. We cannot,” he says again and I wonder for a moment if he is trying to convince both of us. “…I will not take advantage of you like this. Not now.”

I cannot force him. Nor do I want to, I realize as I sit back, my heart sinking.

Have I learned nothing here after all?

“Perhaps it is time we return to Kakuriyo,” he says, looking away.

Perhaps. I look away too, ashamed of myself, of how easily I gave in again.

“…I’m sorry,” I whisper. For this. For her. For everything.

His touches me then, warm hand cupping my cheek. I turn to him again, and his eyes are alight with guarded emotion. “Someday…things will be different.”

 

***

 

We return to Kakuriyo, to Demon’s Gate.

I see him off at the airship that will take him away.

There are many things left unsaid that I find I have no words for.

“Where will you go?” I ask simply.

“Home,” he says. “To the Southern lands.”

I wonder how many years will pass before I see him again.

 

***

 

I travel around Kakuriyo for some time, drifting and indulging my curiosity here or there, but always returning to Demon’s Gate. This is my homeland, and my path always seems to find its way back. I suppose I am meant to be here.

My path crosses Ougon-douji’s, the mysterious golden child whose ways no one seems to know. She has an inn here in Demon’s Gate. Tenjin-ya. The finest inn in the land, they call it. She wants me to become its Master.

I find the idea ridiculous at first, incredibly mundane. But once I see Tenjin-ya, once I walk among its gardens, I am sure.

I will make this inn my home.

It is splendid. But I want to make Tenjin-ya even more splendid than it already is, truly a place where anyone will find themselves at home. A place where guests can relax and find themselves surrounded by beauty. I want it to be like that inn in the Apparent Realm—a place whose beauty I did not appreciate then.

I become the Master of Tenjin-ya and begin to make a name for myself. It is not easy, and I make many mistakes. I discover that in this business, one crosses paths will all sorts of people. Some good, some bad, some merely a curiosity—and many well-connected. As my business grows, so does my influence. And slowly, I begin to shape the world around me.

I become Hachiyo of Demon’s Gate, and my power grows even more. But so does my responsibility; now, not only do my guests and employees rely upon me, but the entire Northeast land. Hospitality lends itself well to leadership, and leading by serving opens many doors.

Authority comes easily also. I come to be known as Kijin, the Ogre God. I garner fear and respect, but not the love I find that I yearn for.

It would be easy to use my influence as I wish, but I learn that far better results are obtained through treating others fairly. The kindness of strangers, the support of guests who become patrons—they are priceless.

But the more influence I draw to myself, the farther I find myself from true closeness with others. I dress myself in might and generosity. I hide my past, my name, my self from the world so that they do not see that I, too, am weak.

 

***

 

Untold years pass. Tenjin-ya becomes all the more successful. But another inn, Orio-ya in the South, is also thriving. Success is no longer a guarantee, and I need to stay on my toes to keep ahead of our rival. Unrest grows in the Capital as well, and as Hachiyo, that weighs all the more heavily on me. I rely on my staff to do an outstanding job and they do, becoming the closest thing I know to a family. Their admiration of me is sometimes unfounded, and there are times I wonder if they do their utmost out of respect or out of fear. Byakuya, my most trusted advisor and chief accountant and keeper of the purse strings of the inn, is brutally honest in his critique, keeping us afloat even in the most unpredictable of times.

My reputation outside Demon’s Gate swells. I find the Capital increasingly full of callous ayakashi who have no morals—not only oni like myself, but ayakashi of all stripes. How little bearing birthright ultimately has on a person after all... But I can no longer afford to play nice with those who had no intention of ever doing so. I carry cunning as my sword and intimidation as my shield. Rumor has it that I am a formidable force, a ruthless ogre you would never want to cross.

They are not wrong. I will protect my own.

 

***

 

My Young Master announces his intention to resign his position at Tenjin-ya, citing family reasons. There is only one person who I wish to replace him.

I set out for the South.

 

***

 

Ranmaru, Ginji’s brother, is the Headmaster of Orio-ya and Hachiyo of the South. He is hot-headed and coarse, but unfailingly loyal to his own cause. He and Ginji are the sworn guardians of this land. I learn of the curse that plagues it, and of the Ceremony they must perform every hundred years to ward off utter destruction. I learn of what happened when the Ceremony failed because of the betrayal of a heartless ayakashi—a betrayal that led to the death of their mother. That someone could make a game of this curse for personal amusement sickens me. I empathize with Ranmaru’s plight, as he and I walk the same difficult road, but his arrogance grates on my nerves. Staff are the most important asset of any organization, and though he has a beautiful inn on the oceanside, the way he treats his employees is infuriating.

 

***

 

Ginji is the Young Master of Orio-ya. He looks so unhappy when I finally see him again, after all this time, that I decide then and there that I will not leave without him. I will take away their most precious treasure, the brother Ranmaru does not love.

I am given an exquisite guest room overlooking the ocean. The doors are thrown wide open to let in the summer breeze, the salty scent of the sea and the sweep of the waves carrying on the air. Could he ever leave this paradise, I wonder, for the temperate north?

He announces himself at the door, enters, and breathes my name as we finally meet again. He looks as if he can hardly believe that I am here, that I am the high-ranking mystery guest who summoned him.

“I’m known as the Odanna of Tenjin-ya nowadays,” I correct him with a sly grin, patting the cushion next to me.

“What…what are you doing here?” he asks, finding his composure again. “I am so very glad to see you again!”

Ginji has seemingly hardly changed since last time, save for the difference in the way he carries himself. There is a subtle but certain gravity about him, the heaviness of undue burden, like he has seen too much of this world. But this quickly fades as he sits down next to me, smiling in earnest. He tells me of his life now, and I of mine, and it is as if no time has passed since we parted. I am certain I will not leave Orio-ya without him.

“Ginji. Tenjin-ya is in need of a new Young Master.”

“…You would ask me to join you?” he says carefully, discerning my meaning.

I lay my hand over his. “I would trust the role to no one else.”

“I…” He hesitates, his expression torn between hope and regret. “I’m sorry. I cannot. I’m already Young Master here and—”

“You may return, of course,” I said. “For the Ceremony.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not just that. I can’t leave this all to Ranmaru—”

“Ranmaru doesn’t care for you,” I cut him off. Not like I do.

“He has a good heart,” he says with a weak smile. “But I can no longer abide by his ways. Still…he is my brother.”

“Ginji…”

He is quiet for many moments, gazing out at the sun-swept waves. “But then…I suppose, I could hardly say no to you.”

I meet his eyes. “You did once before.”

“…If only you knew how hard it was to do so.” A faint blush colors his cheeks and the strain in his voice betrays a longing I have wished many times over to hear.

He is still so beautiful to me. My heart yearns for him, and I lace my fingers in his. Slowly, I lean closer to kiss him, searching his eyes for any sign that he does not feel the same. I see only love.

He turns away at the last moment and my lips touch the corner of his mouth.

“You shouldn’t kiss your employees, Odanna-sama,” he says with a mischievous grin and flick of his fox ears.

I can’t help but laugh with him, and I know things will turn out. He will be with me, at least—that’s all that matters. I will be the kind of person he would be proud to work with, work for.

I want to be a good person for him.

I want to make Tenjin-ya even better, and I can think of no one else I would rather do so with.

 

***

 

My other employees do not trust Ginji.

They see him as an enemy, a spy from our number one competitor. They keep him at arm’s length, an uninvited addition to the staff. Still, he is incredibly knowledgeable and diligent—and he soon earns their respect, if not their love.

I wonder if I have made a mistake again, bringing him here away from his home, away from his friends. At least he is away from Ranmaru, and I shower him with the support and trust that his brother failed to give him.

He is the most loyal companion I could ask for. Yet, we are both somehow still so lonely, even as we work ever more closely together to care for our Tenjin-ya.

 

***

 

Shiro changes everything.

This human offers me his granddaughter as a payment for his recklessness, for breaking what we have worked so hard to build.

I wonder if he is mocking me with this offer. It is a deal made between devils.

I have no need for a human bride now, having attained such a high standing already without one. It would be easy to take her as a trophy bride, a pretty thing to make other ayakashi look even higher up to me simply because I can. But true to my promise to Ginji, I have not forgotten the girl from that village.

A human girl could so easily be my undoing again.

I accept Shiro’s offer.

I intend to love this human girl, and I want to be a person that she could love.

 

***

 

Aoi changes everything again.

She is frail and starving, abandoned by her family, a child on the verge of death when we first meet.

I have no desire to devour her.

I love her immediately, with a love so powerful that it brings me to my knees.

I want this girl to live. I want her to blossom, to have everything good in life. I want her to be happy, and I would be so happy if she could become a woman who could love me.

Above all, I want her to see all the beauty in this world, and to love—and I finally understand why Ginji would not leave my side in those long days in the Apparent Realm.

I will risk my very life to save her from the hands of death, and so I turn to the only person I would ever trust with such a task to help me.

Ginji and I make a promise to each other. We will keep Aoi safe.

On that day, our fates become forever entwined.

 

***

 

I bring Aoi to Kakuriyo many years later. She is a woman now, so alive and spirited, so very beautiful. And so different from the frail child in that dark room. I am worried that she will be terrified of me, an ogre straight from the pages of her childhood fairytales. But she is merely indifferent and insists on doing everything on her own, shrugging off my protection like a coat that is too heavy to wear. She intends to work off Shiro’s debt to me instead of becoming my bride, and I curiously agree to her plan. Aoi is incredibly stubborn sometimes and has a knack for finding herself caught up in problems that don’t concern her, simply because she is willing to shoulder anyone’s burdens.

 

***

 

We are soaked from the rain. She has tagged along with me to my private cottage on the hill, by the hot springs, away from prying eyes and snooping ears.

“Your horns are in the way,” she says matter-of-factly, patting a towel all over my wet hair. The fabric catches on my horns and she purses her lips in a frown. “Can you remove them?”

I laugh in spite of myself, and she scowls a bit. “Aoi. Horns are what make oni, oni. What would I be without them?”

She considers this. “Still Odanna-sama, I suppose.”

I let her continue drying my hair and I’m sure I’m positively beaming under the towel. She can’t possibly know how happy I am that she is willing to be this close, that she doesn’t fear me.

Sometimes, I think she doesn’t fear anything.

 

***

 

Aoi is afraid of thunderstorms.

Of darkness.

Of being hungry.

Of being alone.

I cannot change the skies for her. I cannot take away the darkness, nor do I want to, for everything in life must have a balance. But I promise she will never go hungry again. She will never have to be alone, if only she would have me at her side.

 

***

 

Aoi blossoms here. She makes a home of sorts at Moonflower with Ginji, and wins over the hearts of ayakashi with her magical cooking. I know it is because she makes everything with love. She seems so happy here, as if she were meant to be here, giving her all to make Moonflower a success and a jewel in Tenjin-ya’s crown.

Slowly, we grow closer.

And yet…she is lonely too. She has no family to speak of—just like me, just like Ginji. Aoi is determined to find the ayakashi who saved her life when she was little, the ayakashi she calls her first love, in order to thank and repay him. Some day soon she will discover that we have been close by all along, Ginji and I, and that her debt has already been repaid many times over.

I only fall more and more in love with her every day. I know Ginji does too, but he will never admit to it, and he no longer speaks of matters of the heart to me.

 

***

 

I realize only when it’s almost too late how close I have come to losing Ginji. What an utter fool I have been to not see the broken heart he has so carefully kept hidden away. He tells me he loves her, and he loves me, and he cannot deny one for the other. This is his home now, he tells me, but he wishes to return to the South so that she and I can marry and make a life together.

We made a promise to each other, I remind him.

We will keep Aoi safe. Together.

I tell him I love him, and I love Aoi too, and I cannot bear to lose either of them.

If only she will not choose between us…

 

***

 

“Odanna-sama…”

We walk in the gardens of Tenjin-ya one evening and pause among the clusters of late fall chrysanthemums dyed by a setting sun. Ginji has been quiet tonight, Aoi even more so. She took only small bites of her favorite curry rice earlier and seems like she has something weighing on her mind but cannot bring herself to say it.

"Aoi?"

She brushes her fingers against the clustered petals of a chrysanthemum blossom. They are stunning this year—magnificent flowers of rich reds, sunset yellows and oranges, pinks and whites tinted with warm light. These will be the last blooms before winter sets in. Aoi picks two blossoms, and I wonder if she knows the meaning of each: the red chrysanthemum a flower of love and passion, and the white a flower of loyalty and truth.

“Is what Raijuu told me really true?” she asks. “That humans must marry an ayakashi to live in Kakuriyo?”

“…Yes, Aoi. That is the law of Kakuriyo,” I tell her. “It has been so since times long past, for the protection of humans in our land. You know there are some ayakashi who would…” I trail off, not needing to remind her that some ayakashi devour lone humans, that I nearly became one of them. She doesn’t know all of my secrets yet, but she does know this one—the knowledge of which she accepted sincerely and without judgment.

“I see…” she says quietly.

Ginji touches her shoulder. “You look terribly troubled, Aoi-san. What’s wrong?”

“I…” She looks down at her hands clasped around the chrysanthemums. She tucks the flowers under her kimono collar, holding them above her heart. “I can’t marry you,” she says, her voice breaking.

Nothing could have prepared me for those words.

I feel as if the world is falling away under us. I hear Ginji gasp.

“Aoi…”

“…Aoi-san?”

“I can’t marry you,” she whispers. “Forgive me, Odanna-sama.”

You have nothing to apologize for, I want to tell her. But the words die on my tongue.

Has she chosen Ginji, then... As much as I hoped that she could come to love me too, I suppose I’ve known all along that it would be much more likely that she would turn to his side instead. It is far easier to love an angel than a demon, after all. I can hardly fault her for it.

Ginji’s head is bowed, his complexion pale.

Aoi wipes at the tears that have quickly overtaken her. “S-so, I have to go back. To the Apparent Realm…”

Back…?

To the Apparent Realm?

This isn’t how it is supposed to end.

I love her. I love him.

We are supposed to be together.

“Aoi, I…”

Her soft, warm hand takes mine then, and I look up, and she has taken Ginji’s hand also.

“I love you, Odanna-sama. I love you, Ginji-san.”

Her fingers curl around ours.

“I can’t marry you, because I love you both.”

She is smiling through her tears and the earnest love in her voice, her gaze, her touch—all fears I had about our future are gone then.

“Odanna-sama, Ginji-san… You saved my life when I was little. You brought me here to this amazing world and helped me build my dream. You’ve given me a home and kindness and so much love, and you…you are my family. So to have to choose just one of you now, after everything? …I can’t. I can’t make that choice,” she tells us. “I love you both so much. You love each other, too. I just want us to be together, always.”

“Aoi…”

We take her in our arms, enveloping each other in silks and flowers and fluffy tails. We embrace each other so tightly that our bond cannot ever be broken. The glow in my heart feels as warm as the sun, tempered by this truth.

“We will be together. Always.”

Her tears turn to joy, this beautiful soul who fate has brought into our lives.

This is how we are meant to be. Together.

I pick a pink chrysanthemum for her—a flower of sweetness and hopeful dreams—and Ginji artfully tucks it into her hair along with the red and the white.

The crystal flower on the hairpin I gave her sparkles among them, its petals fully opened.

 

***

 

It is not until Aoi tells us that she loves us that Ginji finally lets me kiss him, at long last under the stars. He is so tender in my arms, yet so eager, and I know he has had no one else in all these long years. Some things are worth waiting for.

Aoi is decidedly less shy, though just as sweet, and she is not afraid to touch me as if I’m some new ingredient to be sampled. She showers me with kisses. That she could love me so sincerely, without fear, I still find amazing.

The love they have for each other delights my heart in a way that few would understand. Most find the notion of having two partners selfish, deceitful, depraved and worse. Ayakashi are hardly averse to pursuing peculiar and exotic tastes, but a relationship of three including a human is unusual enough to make even the most progressive among us take pause. I know it will not always be easy—if any committed relationship ever is—but we are equals to each other, with no jealousy, only love and laughter and trust. I know we were made for each other.

 

***

 

Winter arrives swiftly soon after. Not from the cold North, but from the Capital. The storm that has been gathering there finally darkens Tenjin-ya’s skies.

I have feared for some time that they would try to use Aoi against me, to make her a tool with which to pursue agendas and settle old scores, to take her away from everything she loves in order to spite me.

It is me they come for instead.

I have no choice. We are torn apart from each other. They take me away from everything that I love, and for a time it feels like the sun might never rise again. But I hold on to the trust that we will find our way back to each other, to the place that is our home. That trust gives me comfort even in the blackest of nights.

I have love. They cannot break me.

 

***

 

Spring comes again even after the longest darkness.

I vow we will never be parted again.

I kneel before them under the cherry blossoms and we make a promise to each other.

We are a family.

We know all of each other’s secrets now, everything laid bare before each other, and still they love me.

How truly blessed I am.

 

***

 

We make our vows in the gardens of Tenjin-ya, under the warm sun of a spring day at the peak of bloom, among the peonies and wisteria and all our cherished friends who are our family.

I am surrounded by love and beauty, and its intense, quiet power leaves me humbled, nearly without words.

I have never felt such joy.

 

***

 

Aoi is nestled in our arms, in my bed that is now ours, in Tenjin-ya that is our home. My hand covers hers, and Ginji’s mine. “Sleep well,” she whispers as her eyes drift closed and she eases into sleep. I smile as Ginji’s thumb draws gentle circles on the back of my hand. That all the events of my life could ever come to this…

“What are you thinking of?” he asks softly, bringing a smile to Aoi’s lips as well.

“…How beautiful you both are. How much I love you.”

 

***

 

Oni were never meant to be like this, perhaps, but I now see all the beauty in this world, and my heart overflows with love.

I have become the person I always wanted to be.

I could not be happier.