Chapter Text
You began collecting your things from the floor of the musty dorm room. You pulled your baggy cotton pants up to your waist and slung a thin, roomy shirt over your head.
“Leaving so soon?” a man whined from behind you.
Turning with a playful sneer, you tousled the beige-colored hair atop his head. “I have some sleeping to do, Jean-boy,” you said with silk in your voice. You pinched his razor-sharp chin between your fingers and kissed him deeply, pushing him back into the bed. His hands clasped hungrily at your hips, fingers clutching with an iron grip, while your naked skin peeked out from between them. With little effort, you ended the kiss with a flick to his forehead.
The door to the small room closed softly behind you. Your naked feet padded through the men’s barracks as they had many lonely nights throughout your training. The cold stone woke you from the daze that your rendezvous with Jean put you in. You rounded familiar corners through the building, undetected. It came time to cross campus and sneak into your own barracks. As some distant bells chimed deep within the streets of Trost, you darted through the stretch of bare land between buildings. The patrols were in the process of switching, so you were able to move relatively freely.
Your mind wandered to the dwindling number of days you had left as a cadet. You were beyond elated to never see Keith Shadis’s face ever again. You had barely scraped yourself the number ten position of the 104th Training Corps in recent weeks, and you would be damned if you ended up Titan feed because your form was off.
You entered your room quietly. Ymir had left the candle beside her desk burning, a river of wax trailing all the way down to the floor. You blew it out and ducked beneath the top bunk. The bedframe creaked awfully as you adjusted yourself beneath the thin covers. A dreamless sleep came to you quickly.
Early-morning training hit you and Jean like nothing else. You two lagged behind the main group in a pathetic attempt to keep up. The sun was beating down on you, a thick layer of sweat-soaked cotton between your back and the fifty-pound sack strapped to you. Shadis wasn’t letting up. Even in the final stretch before cadets could choose their new regiment.
“Fuck this,” you grunted, wrenching your bag higher on your shoulders. “This is all your fault.”
Jean choked out a laugh between labored breaths. “Maybe if you weren’t such a whore.”
Your lips parted in a wide, wicked smile. You knocked your shoulder into him and decided to make him regret his words. Despite your relatively short stature, you put a considerable distance between the two of you, eventually ending up closer to the other cadets than Jean. The pain in your legs and lungs were well worth it to find him collapsing at the finish almost a full minute after you.
Lunch was exceptionally pleasant that day. You sat with Krista Lenz and your roommate Ymir, knowing that they would eventually be sucked into their own world and leave you unbothered. You brought some light reading to enjoy while you sipped away at a wonderful stew. You were entranced with the words on the pages, rhythmically lifting your spoon to your mouth every few moments, only to find your lunch gone without remembering to enjoy it.
“Want me to take that for you?” Krista’s voice broke your focus from the empty bowl. She rose from her place across from you.
“Oh, thanks,” you nodded, and handed her your bowl. You looked to Ymir. “What are you doing this afternoon?”
She shot her gaze to Krista. Her face softened just a bit. “What are we doing this afternoon?”
Krista smiled up at the freckled woman. “I have an exam at 15:00, but after that I’m free.”
Ymir nodded at you. “I’ll be in the room until then.”
“Sounds good,” you said. “See you guys later.” You remained in the warm, wooden mess hall for a good while, blissfully absorbed into your reading. Your afternoon was to be dedicated to some technical skill application until Ymir left with Krista. You both coveted alone time, so you had an unspoken agreement to be in the room together the least amount of time possible. It wasn't out of disdain for her; you two were quite fond of one another, in fact. Everything was simple.
You were planted in your seat for another hour until you decided to get some time in with the omni-directional maneuvering gear. It was, by far, your worst score. How ironic you needed to get that up in order to never have to use it again.
You picked up your equipment from the storeroom and lugged it across campus to the stables. With a beautiful dusty steed and an armful of metal, you set out to the Titan training grounds in the small forest nearby. Older cadets, such as yourself, were allowed some afternoons to complete conditioning of their own choosing. Three years of vigorous training and you could finally take a piss without asking.
A few hours of slicing pseudo-napes later, you called it a day and began the trek back to campus. Bright oranges and pinks covered the clouds. Your stomach began to grumble at the notion of sunset. Still, you took your time to drink in the early evening. If you tried hard enough, you could even imagine the walls weren’t obscuring the horizon, and you could see rolling mountains in their place. The home humanity made inside the walls was beautiful, no doubt, but always confined.
You promised your horse some grooming time after dinner and, with a kiss on his nose, you let him out to pasture at the stables. You left his tack on the fence as a reminder to yourself to tend to him. You would see it on your walk from the mess hall back to your barracks. For the moment, however, all you could think about were the mashed potatoes waiting for you at dinner. You dropped your equipment back in the storeroom, signed your name on the dropoff sheet, and jogged excitedly to your friends.
The mess hall was warm with candlelight and laughter. Drinks sloshed and cadets hollered and the thick, beautiful smell of potatoes and gravy solicited a small hum of pleasure from you. Nearing your usual table, you found your empty space with a tray of piping-hot deliciousness set especially for you. The lanky, presumptuous Jean eyed you fondly over his shoulder, nodding toward the seat beside him.
“Oh, hello!” Sasha Braus waved. Her lively eyes greeted you happily. The others at the table smiled and waved as you slid onto the bench seat.
“Thanks,” you grinned at Jean.
He flashed his teeth. “No problem, short stuff.”
You ignored him. Your stomach gurgled with anticipation as you began to dig into your meal. Besides the potatoes, there were some roasted vegetables and rice, but those were much less exciting. As you ate, you took in the conversation happening around you.
“You really think you can be in the top ten, huh?” Connie Springer asked Jean with a malevolent sparkle in his eye. “I bet you my entire life’s savings you’ll end up number eleven.”
“Here we go,” you muttered.
Jean, immediately offended, began yelling. “And what might that be? Barely enough to buy an apple, I bet!”
Connie didn’t miss a beat. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, horse-face?”
The others began whinnying at him, his face glowing bright red in seconds. He turned to you with an exasperated grunt. “You think I’ll make top ten, right?”
You thought for a moment, wondering if you’d want to make the table laugh at his expense.
It was a brief moment.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jean-boy.”
Your friends began roaring with laughter, even Bertholdt Hoover stifling a chuckle under his hand. Jean groaned loudly. From his other side, Marco Bodt clapped a hand on his shoulder, beaming his fresh smile. “Don’t worry, Jean, I think you’ll make a great Survey Corps recruit.”
A collective gasp rose from the group. Marco was usually level-headed and lighthearted; it was unusual for him to make such a joke, especially one so sharp. Even Jean couldn’t help but burst out laughing with the rest of you.
Just as the noise began to die down, an official hush fell across the hall. All eyes turned to the main doorway, where a group of people enshrouded in forest green stood. Shadis walked up to the tallest one, a blond man with strong, stoic features, and shook his hand. Shadis turned to the rest of the room.
“Listen up, cadets,” he boomed. The crow’s feet around his eyes seemed to be even more pronounced than usual. You almost made out a second vein popping on his forehead. “As you all know, the 104th Cadet Corps training is almost at an end. You will be choosing your new regiment in the coming weeks. I have invited some higher-ups from each regiment to come by and give you an opportunity to get to know your futures.”
Murmurs broke out across the hall. It suddenly made you nervous, how close you were to choosing your next step. You hoped as hard as you could that the choice would be made for you with a spot secured in the top ten.
“Attention!” Shadis growled. The room fell silent once more. He gestured to the blond man beside him. “This is Commander Erwin Smith, of the Scout Regiment.”
Commander Erwin Smith placed his fist over his heart. “It is an honor to meet those who will someday fill our shoes.”
“I’d sooner sleep with Connie,” Jean said darkly. You elbowed him in the ribs, causing an outbreak of giggles at your table. Thankfully, the commander’s voice drowned out the noise. It was a smooth boom that took effort not to listen to.
“What do you say,” Jean whispers, “up for a little dare?”
You eyed him warily. “What kind of dare?” You shot a look past at Shadis to make sure you weren’t caught talking over the commander.
“See the little one?”
“Huh?” You cocked an eyebrow.
“Up there, barely at the commander’s shoulder.”
Sure enough, there was a small man beside the commander. He looked hilariously tiny next to Erwin, who was built like a horse. The other one, however, was built like a foal. You could barely see the top of his hood above the heads seated in front of you.
“What about him?” you asked.
“Go talk to him and I’ll buy you anything you want.”
You arched a hesitant brow. “That’s it?”
He nodded glibly. “That’s it.”
“Not even in front of everyone?”
Jean shook his head.
You slid questioning glances to Connie and Sasha, but they were as plain-faced as ever. You weighed your odds. A nice dinner and some new shoes sounded much greater a price than making a fool out of yourself. You did that most days for free.
With a sigh, you nodded. ”I’ll do it.”
The Military Police and Garrison Regiment leaders also gave short speeches regarding their expectations and goals for new recruits. You listened intently to the MP leaders talk. It was encouraging to imagine yourself standing among them years down the road, inviting the shiny new recruits to your ranks. You stared at the back of Jean’s head and wondered where he would end up. The top ten was no guarantee for either of you. If not the Military Police, certainly he wouldn’t join the Scouts. You wouldn’t be caught dead in their ranks either. They were the laughing stock of humanity. Hard-working citizens paid egregious amounts of taxes just to pay for the Scout Regiment’s coffins.
The crowd in the mess hall began to thin out after introductions were finished. Shadis advised his cadets that the regiment leaders would be available for questions for a short while before they depart. A long line formed in front of the MP’s table, whereas only a few stragglers could be found talking with the others. Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman were the only two in front of the Scouts’ table.
As the lines began to dwindle, you set out on your journey to commandeer Jean’s wallet.
“Wait! Before you go,” Jean barked, grabbing your arm. “I think he might be as short as you. Make him stand up so we can see.”
Sasha and Connie nodded fiercely.
Again, you eyed them warily. “I’ll see what I can do.”
You started off to the short man in green. You felt an inkling that your friends were sending you into some sort of trap, but as you walked slowly and without purpose toward your destination, you thought your actions through. They were there to meet potential new recruits. It would make sense that one of those recruits would strike up a conversation. Still, the inkling remained.
As you grew closer, Commander Erwin set his eyes on you. They were kind, but not entirely present. A man as high up in the ranks as him must have a lot on his mind, you thought. A tall person with goggles strapped to their head and a messy reddish-brown ponytail jabbered buoyantly while another man with dirty blond hair and short stubble stared into the distance. The short one was spaced out, bored.
You planted your feet before the table and saluted the group. The other person was still going on about something.
“Welcome,” Commander Erwin nodded. His voice struck you again, but this time it was almost overwhelming, its sole attention on you. A small smile graced your lips at the sound of it. The creases in his cheeks and around his eyes were the only indicators of his age. His light blond hair was well-groomed, sweeping magnificently around his head. He paused just long enough for you to consider introducing yourself. Instead, he began, “Interested in the Scouts?”
“Yes, sir,” you confirmed. Your eyes flicked to the bored man closest to you. “I was actually--”
“Right, Levi?” they exclaimed, slamming their palm down on the table. The small man slid his narrow eyes over his shoulder. They were taken aback by the silence, and only then did they take notice of your presence. “Oh! Hello!” Another second passed before they registered that you had come to seek advice from the Scouts. Their face lit up preciously. Bolting up from their seat, they asked, “Do you like research?”
“I, um…” you stammered. “I do.”
“Fantastic!” their eyes dazzled as they brought their hands together in a dreamy expression. “Remind me of this conversation when you join us.”
“Of course” you nodded, “but I have one…” Your voice trailed off as their words rattled around your brain. Right, Levi? Your heart crashed through your stomach and you cursed Jean, Connie, and Sasha right to hell. The man they wanted you to speak to was none other than Captain Levi, the Scout Regiment’s most terrifying superior officer. If only you had been paying attention during introductions.
“One what?” Captain Levi’s voice tore through your thoughts like a silver bullet. “Spit it out.”
You were deeply shaken by being in the presence of someone so intimidating. You gulped audibly. “One question.”
The four waited blankly for your follow-up.
Deciding to abort your mission, you turned to the one with burgundy hair and spoke the first thing that came to mind. “Have you ever been able to experiment directly on a Titan?”
The person with the goggles almost leapt across the table. The three men around them immediately disengaged from the conversation. You soon longed to be one of them. You stood at the Scouts’ table for quite some time, listening to them babble on about Titan mysteries.
“Section Commander Hange,” Commander Erwin spoke after some time of their rambling. “We have to be getting back soon.”
Immediately, they slumped down. They looked at you with pleading eyes. “Don’t be shy once you’re inducted. I have great things planned for you!”
You nodded strongly. The information spilled upon you crowded your mind as you struggled to process any of it. “Thank you.” Guilt stabbed you in the gut. Hopefully they’ll understand when I don’t show up.
Commander Erwin thanked you for your time and dismissed you. You turned on your heel and strutted right past the table of traitors. Chortling all the way out of the building, they commended you on your efforts.
“I can’t believe you set me up like that.” You shook your head angrily.
Jean put his arm around you and squeezed you close; you looked away in defiance. “Don’t be so mad. To be fair, you should have known that was him anyway.”
You pushed yourself off of him. “How was I supposed to know he’s so tiny?” The chilly night air wrapped around you. As Connie and Jean walked the two of you back to your building, you spotted the saddle you left on the pasture’s fence. You swore under your breath. “I have to groom the horse I used earlier,” you told your friends, and began veering off to the left.
“Where are you going?” Connie asked. He pointed to Jean. “He’s right here.”
Jean shouted at him, and you smiled.