Chapter Text
Kara sighed and buried her head in her hands, trying to block out the noise around her. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes filled her nose. Her first day in Metropolis did not go at all how she had imagined it would. Maybe it had been a bad decision to come here. Maybe she should not have been so naive. Maybe she should have seen it coming. There had been signs along the way. Signs, so obvious, so outspoken, that should have shown her that pursuing a superhero role was not well-perceived. Not by her family. And apparently not by her cousin.
Kara lowered her hands and looked around the dim-lit bar. Her eyes started to burn and a lump formed in her throat. She had never felt so alone in the universe. Kara balled her hands into fists and clenched her jaw. No, that was not true. There had been a time like this, many, many years ago. And if she was being honest with herself, a tiny part of that feeling had never left her. She had grown accustomed to the familiar ache in her heart as the years passed by. It grew weaker when she was surrounded by her family and friends. And it grew stronger whenever she looked up to the millions of stars in the night sky.
Today was one of these days. She missed her family. Her people. Her planet. She missed them so much, she could not even put it into words. Life on Earth was just so complicated and difficult. It was full of rules, full of traps that she could easily fall into. She had never asked for the powers she had. She had never wanted them. If she could trade them against her home, she would do it in the blink of an eye. No questions asked.
She loved her adoptive family, of course, she did. She loved Eliza and Alex with everything she had. She loved her friends here. If it ever came down to it, she would gladly die for them to save their lives. They had always stood by her side and made her feel welcome and loved after everything that had happened in the past. She would never ever be able to repay them for their kindness.
They tried to be understanding and supportive… but there were just some things that they could not understand, no matter how much they tried. None of them had ever experienced this kind of loss. Or how her purpose on this Earth was the only thing that kept her sane during her travel here. They could not know how desperately she had clung to the idea of protecting Kal-El. It gave her enough strength to keep going and to endure her long-lasting journey to this planet.
To be told that her powers were not needed on Earth, not only by her adoptive family but now also by the very person who kept her sane during her darkest time - it hurt more than she imagined.
Kara smiled sadly as she remembered the conversations again. This world did not need another hero, they had said. They had Superman. Her baby cousin that she was supposed to protect. The last task she had been given by her parents. The task she had failed to accomplish. While she had been stuck, Kal-El had become the superhero of Earth. He did not need her anymore.
And today he had told her that he did not want her help either. That she should live and enjoy her life as a human. To be normal. After all, the world already had a superhero. They had Superman. There was no need for her, Kara Danvers.
Kara glared at her glass before drowning the next shot. She wished she could drown her sorrows with alcohol like humans could. She was leaving way too much money at the bar to drink a probably unhealthy amount of something that did not even taste well.
Sighing, Kara shook her head. “What am I even doing here?”
“Hey Steve, turn that up! It’s that flying lady!”
“Guardian Angel or Human Wrecking Ball? There is destruction all over Otto Binder Bridge-”
“Not again!” Kara groaned and reluctantly turned towards the TV.
The bar had quietened down as everyone watched the news coverage on the latest hero. She glared at the photo that appeared on the screen again. It was truly not the most flattering one. At least the quality was so bad that it was impossible to catch a clear view of her face or even her hair color. This photo — no, this news coverage was the reason why she was fighting with her sister. Why she tried to reach out to her cousin, only to receive a pat on her head.
For the first time in years, she had used her powers — to save her sister and dozens of other passengers. She had reacted on instinct. When she heard the news that Alex was in mortal danger, she had not thought about her possible exposure to the world. She had done what anyone else in her situation would have done. She had reacted and saved the person she loved the most on this planet.
After the successful rescue, she had been ecstatic about finally, finally, using her powers for good after all these years. She had a purpose. She could help people, she could do what others couldn’t and save lives!
She did not expect a thank-you. She did not expect gratitude. But she also did not expect the aftermath. She certainly had not expected Alex’s reaction. Cringing, she remembered the argument that had taken place before she had left National City to talk to Kal-El. It was still fresh on her mind.
*
Three hours prior
“What were you thinking?!” They locked eyes. Confusion met disappointment. After a short moment, Alex turned around and scoffed. With a shaking hand, she pointed towards the television. The photograph was frozen on the screen. “You exposed yourself. To the world! You’re out there now, Kara. Everyone will know about you and you can’t take that back!”
Kara glanced from the TV to her sister. Didn't Alex know? Didn’t she understand? Kara could have cared less about the exposure. Alex’s life had been on the line, among dozens of others. They had spoken about it on the news. She had saved them from certain death.
It might not have been ideal, but it had been an emergency. There was no time to think it through. It was either saving her sister or planning her funeral. Her knees were still shaking from the adrenaline. She could still not shake off the feeling of pure horror when her first flight attempt had failed. Nor the desperation that had crawled into every cell of her being when she thought she had forgotten how to fly. When she had thought she would not be able to save Alex.
She did not regret her choice. Not for one second. Alex meant everything to her. Why didn't she understand? Kara did not care that people knew she existed as long as Alex was alive and well. She could not lose anyone she loved ever again — not when she was able to stop it from happening. Why would she ever take it back?
“I… I don’t want to.” Kara searched her sister’s eyes as Alex sighed. Never before had she seen such an amount of disappointment and sadness in them. Directed at her. “This is what I was talking about, Alex. I’ve… always felt the need to help people, and tonight I finally got that chance. I…”
She paused as her voice broke and blinked a few times as her vision became blurry. How could she possibly explain this? As a teenager, she had tried countless times to make her adoptive family understand how she felt. They had never understood. ‘It is not your job to protect people,’ they had said. ‘You have a second chance here. But you have to be normal. You have to be human.’
Kara’s shoulders dropped. No matter what she said, nobody would ever understand. Not even Kal-El. “I didn’t travel 2,000 light-years just to be an assistant.”
Her fear became true as Alex shook her head. “What if people figure out who you are? What you are?”
Kara broke the eye contact as her body became numb. She could not bear to hear it anymore. Tears crept into her eyes again and she balled her hands into fists. Why did no one understand?
“It’s just…” Alex glanced over her shoulder to the TV. “It’s not safe for you to do anything like that. Ever again.”
Kara’s chest hurt as if someone was squeezing it too tightly. She tore her gaze away from the look in Alex’s eyes. A lump formed in her throat. She did not want to cry. She did not want to show Alex how much those words were hurting her. She knew that Alex wanted to protect her. Alex did not mean it badly. She had good intentions. She loved her.
But gosh, it hurt. It hurt so much.
The lump in Kara’s throat was throbbing. She swallowed, wincing when the pain only became worse. She pressed her lips together as they started to tremble slightly. She was not going to cry in front of Alex.
She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. She had to get Alex out of the apartment before she broke down.
“I’m kinda tired. I… I just carried a plane on my back. I’m gonna go to bed.” Kara dared a quick glance back as silence started to spread. Alex looked like she wanted to say something, but Kara quickly cut her off before she could. “You should go.”
With a last meaningful look, Alex turned to the door. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
*
Frowning deeply, Kara drowned another shot. Well, she had not gone to bed. Instead, she went to the only person who she thought would know how she felt.
It had been exhilarating to go against Alex’s warning and to fly to Metropolis. However, meeting Kal-El — or Clark how he preferred to be called now — had not gone how she had imagined it. Of course, he had congratulated her on saving the plane, he had even been proud. But…
Kara clenched her jaw and scoffed. Indeed, what was she even doing here?
The laughter of a few men brought Kara back to the presence. One of the men at the bar whistled as he pointed towards the photo on the TV screen. “I wouldn’t mind her rescuing me, that’s for sure.”
“I don’t think you could handle her!”
“Oh, I’d handle her just fine!” He made a crude gesture and the other men hooted.
Kara rolled her eyes. As if. But she was at a bar, what did she expect? Why did she even come here? Alcohol was clearly not working with her unfortunate powers on this planet. She could have just sat on a rooftop somewhere and burn her money to ash.
However, she also had not wanted to be alone. She could not stay with Clark, not after being reminded that even though he was the only biological family she had left, he did not understand. It was not his fault, of course. He was only a baby when he left Krypton. But…
A low deep voice of a woman interrupted her thoughts. “Men are pigs.”
Kara glanced to her left and her mind went blank. All her worries seemed to be washed away as she looked at the stranger that had taken a seat next to her.
A dark-haired woman in an expensive-looking business suit had joined her at the bar. A drop-dead gorgeous dark-haired woman to be exact. Her straight hair was tied into a high ponytail and the red lipstick was a stark contrast to her pale skin. The intensity of the look in her eyes made Kara swallow dryly. These eyes… and the jawline… Kara blinked a few times. This woman was absolutely beautiful, no doubt about that. Probably one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen.
“Uh, I…” Kara pushed her glasses back up and cleared her throat. She had to say something intelligent. She wanted to make a good first impression. Staring and drooling over a stranger was definitely not a good one. She had to think of something. Maybe something witty. Something intelligent. Anything really. “Whoa.”