Emotions Left Unsaid

by Shire55

Emotions Left Unsaid.
The Command staff sat around the long obsidian table in the forward
observation lounge, each uncomfortable with what had unfolded.
The telepath, Acryops, had been aboard only three hours, but already
his presence was being felt. With tactlessness only an alien could
wield, he had proceeded to tell the staff some truths about themselves
they would have rather been left unsaid.
Lieutenant Commander Worf shifted in his chair and glowered at
the telepath.
"Klingons do not tell others how they feel!"
"But Sir…"
"It is a dishonourable thing to do to a warrior! Stop it
immediately!"
Acryops looked around the table and his slitted orange eyes settled
on Lieutenant Geordie LaForge.
"What about you Lieutenant? Surely the Lieutenant in Astrophysics
is aware of how you feel?"
Geordie's face reddened behind his visor, his tongue nervously
licking his lower lip.
"No Sir she isn't."
"But why when you feel so strongly…?"
"Well I can't just…that is I…well…"
Captain Jean-Luc Picard cleared his throat and brought the attention
back to himself.
"Acryops it isn't our way to tell each other each and every
thought. It would be considered an invasion of privacy, as is
someone else accessing them. I suggest…"
"But Captain, your feelings for Doctor Crusher are very…"
"Acryops! That is enough! It's time we brought this meeting
to an end. We can…"
"But this is absurd! Doctor Crusher shares your feelings.
Why do you not…"?
Jean-Luc Picard stood abruptly silencing the gregarious Acryops.
His stare was glacial as he took in his assembled officers.
"The mission to the Arellian Assembly will proceed as planned.
If there are no further issues to discuss, you are dismissed.
Acryops I would appreciate it if you stayed behind."
Commander Will Riker, Doctor Beverly Crusher, Counsellor Deanna
Troi, Lieutenant Commander Data, Worf and Geordie filed from the
room, each suppressing a smirk. When they were alone, Jean-Luc
addressed his guest.
"Acryops I must stress the fact that your…insights are
causing great discomfort amongst my crew. It would be better if
you…"
"Whom are you more concerned about? Your crew or yourself?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Captain you feel very deeply for Doctor Crusher. From what
I understand of Humans, you're in love with her…and she feels
for you with the same depth. I do not understand why two people
who care so much for each other should keep such information from
being explored."
Picard took a deep breath and ran his hands over his bald pate.
"There is a long, painful and convoluted history between
us Acryops. It's just not possible."
"I still don't understand."
"Well you'll have to get by on my word. Now as to the mission…have
you everything you need?"
The telepath looked down at the isolinear chips and the data PADD
and nodded.
"Yes, your staff has been very thorough in the information
they have gathered. When we meet with the Arellians you will have
to remember to leave the talking to me. You represent the Federation,
but they will not recognise you, as you're 'mind blind'. Without
telepathy, they will consider you disabled, but always bear in
mind they can hear your every thought. A disciplined mind is required
Captain. A stray thought could ruin everything."
Jean-Luc nodded thoughtfully and gestured for his guest to follow
him from the room.
"The Arellians need Federation help with the disposition
of their mineral wealth. They chose to contact us, I can't but
think that's a positive note."
"Indeed Captain, but you still think…"
Picard held up a hand and frowned at the telepath.
"Don't tell me what I'm thinking Acryops, I already know."
"As you wish Captain."

 

 

 

Later that afternoon, Will and Deanna were in her quarters
going over crew evaluations. Deanna sighed and straightened up
from her computer terminal.
"You know Will, I've been thinking about what Acryops said
about the Captain and Beverly."
Will looked up at his best friend and grinned.
"You didn't need to be a telepath to read the Captain. He
was furious."
"I know, but what Acryops said was true. I've been sensing
the same strong emotions from them for some time now. If they
both feel the same way, why don't they do something about it?"
Will shook his bearded head and blew out a breath.
"You've got me. As far as I'm concerned, they're made for
each other. Maybe you could talk to Beverly about it."
Deanna toyed with the keys of the terminal then smiled thankfully
at her friend.
"Yes, maybe I will."

 

 

 

 

Beverly had changed from her uniform into a soft
pair of black leggings and an oversize blue jumper. She was tending
to her orchids when the door annunciator sounded.
"Come in."
The doors sighed open and Deanna stepped in, her hands curiously
behind her back.
"Hello Deanna. What have you got there?"
Instead of answering, the Counsellor stepped up to Beverly and
watched as she pruned the plant. Beverly let the silence settle
between them as she concentrated on her task.
"What about that one?"
Beverly followed Deanna's pointing chin and shook her head.
"No. That one will produce new flowers soon. I never disturb
new growth."
"Never?"
"No."
"What about in people?"
"Pardon?"
Deanna turned to her friend and took her arm, guiding her to the
sofa.
"What about new growth in people? Is it wise to stymie feelings
when they're shared?"
Beverly frowned and shook her head, sending her lustrous red hair
dancing.
"Really Deanna, I don't think it's any of your business."
"Isn't it? What happened in the observation lounge only confirmed
what I've been sensing from you two for weeks."
Beverly's eyes dropped to her hands as they wrestled on her lap.
"A large part of my job is to try and keep people happy…on
an even keel, so to speak. You and the Captain love each other…am
I right?"
Beverly's hands formed fists, as the frown became a scowl.
"I don't want to talk about it!"
With a free hand, Deanna covered the clenched hands.
"I know, but you're going to. Here, this will make it easier."
From behind her back, Deanna produced a box, tied with a gay blue
ribbon.
Disarmed, Beverly smiled at her friend.
"What's this?"
"Chocolates. Very, very special chocolates. From Borallis
IV."
"Oh my God, you don't mean…"
"Yep."
"And you're willing to share them?"
"Yes…but only if you open up about your feelings."
"So it's a bribe then."
"Yes. Definitely."
Beverly sank into deep thought. She was not happy about sharing
her thoughts with Deanna on this particular topic, but she also
knew bottling them up was detrimental…and she wanted some
of those chocolates. They were known throughout the quadrant as
the most delicious of all chocolates, bringing an almost sensual
experience to those who ate them. She came to her decision.
"All right, I'll do it. Shall I replicate some Champagne?
They say you should eat them with chilled Champagne."
Deanna giggled.
"Why not?"
Moments later Beverly returned with two large flutes brimming
with the sparkling wine. They each chose a chocolate, closed their
eyes and popped them into their mouths. There was a momentary
silence while they chewed, then moans of pleasure could be heard.
Beverly was first to speak.
"Oh God…it's so…they're just so…"
"Mmmm aren't they just? Have you ever tasted anything so
decadent?"
"Uh uh. Oh the aftertaste…it lingers…"
"The Champagne…sip some Champagne."
The glasses were raised in unison as the women sipped. They closed
their eyes and savoured the sensation.
Sighing with pleasure, they opened their eyes and grinned at each
other.
"Deanna where did you get Borallian chocolates?"
"Will got them for me for our last anniversary. I've been
saving them."
"Thank God. You know I've only ever tasted real Borallian
chocolates once before."
"Really? When was that?"
"About two years ago. They were given to me by a friend."
"Must've been some friend. Not only are they very hard to
find, they're extortionately expensive. Who was it? Anyone I know?"
Almost in a whisper, Beverly answered her friend.
"It was Jean-Luc actually."
"Beverly…"
The Doctor looked up, her face hardening.
"I can't tell him Deanna."
"Why."
"It would ruin everything. After KesPrytt…after I found
out how he felt about me…he offered to take our relationship
to a more intimate level. I turned him down."
"You didn't tell him how you felt?"
"No, I managed to put him off."
"If you love him, why did you turn him down?"
"Oh Deanna I don't want to lose his friendship. It's the
most precious thing…if I lost that I don't know what I'd
do."
"But becoming intimate with him doesn't necessarily mean
you'll lose your friendship. In fact it's most likely it will
strengthen it. Becoming lovers is the next logical step Beverly
for two people as much in love as you two are."
"And what if he's brought into Sickbay, badly injured and
I can't save him? What then?"
"Beverly I have no crystal ball. I can't see into the future
and tell you everything will be rosy for you both. But I can tell
you that if you continue to deny your feelings for each other,
the repercussions will be devastating. Do you want to go through
the rest of your life unfulfilled? Wouldn't it be better to love
him here, in the now, than to lose him and never know that love?"
The two women sat in silence. One willing the other to yield to
common sense. Eventually Beverly shook her head.
"No. I won't do it…I can't."
"But Beverly…"
"No Deanna! No more. The subject is closed!"
Deanna left her quarters soon after.

 

 

 

 

 

"I thought Worf was going to do him some physical
harm."
Geordie's smile was genuine, but the observation was serious.
Three friends, Geordie, Worf and Data were in Ten Forward discussing
the earlier meeting.
"If he had continued, I might have!"
Data was watching his friends closely.
"Why does having your thoughts aired cause discomfort? I
would have thought it would facilitate matters a great deal."
Geordie turned to the android officer and frowned.
"Well Data, we like to maintain a level of privacy. Part
of being Human is learning how to deal with people based only
on what they tell you. If we could read each other's thoughts…well
it would be chaotic to say the least."
Data cocked his head to one side.
"But would it not avoid misunderstandings?"
"Maybe, but I think there would be a lot of resentment."
Data processed that information, then formed another query.
"What about the Captain and Doctor Crusher? If what Acryops
said is true, are they not denying their feelings for each other?
Why would they do that? Would it not be beneficial for them to
act upon how they feel?"
Worf grunted and muttered under his breath…
"Human mating rituals…"
Geordie silenced him with a look and addressed his friend.
"Obviously it's not that simple Data."
"But Geordie…"
"We should not be discussing the Captain in this manner!
It is…unbecoming."
"Worf's right Data. Why don't we…"
"Lieutenant Worf, why did you stop the telepath from reading
you?"
Worf glared at his superior.
"As I said, it is a dishonourable thing to do. A Klingon
does not let his thought be aired for all to hear!"
"Why?"
"Because it is private!…Sir. I considered it an invasion
and had he not stopped, I would have threatened him with violence."
Data exhibited shock at this pronouncement.
"Even if the Captain allowed it?"
"Captain Picard would not allow such a thing."
Geordie clasped his hands on the table and sighed.
"Worf's right Data, the Captain would never condone such
an invasion of privacy. Acryops may be receiving us constantly,
but Captain Picard would've asked him to keep it to himself in
the future."
Data thought about this and filed the information away for further
study. He was soon on to his next question.
"What do you think about the upcoming mission Geordie? Why
do you think the Captain was requested?"
"His reputation, no doubt."
"But he is not telepathic. He will be dealing with a species
that can read his thoughts. Will that not put him at a disadvantage?"
Worf's smile was fearsome.
"The Captain will overcome such difficulties. He has a strong
mind."
Geordie shook his head.
"It'll need to be Worf. Just think…it's been a long
day, you're tired…all it would take is one stray thought
and boom! It all blows up in your face. I certainly wouldn't like
to be in his shoes."
"Why would being in his shoes help Geordie?"
"It's just a saying Data, it means better him than me."
Data filed that away then asked guilelessly,
"How will having another telepath there help?"
Worf grunted.
"I'm sure Captain Picard doesn't need and more telepathic
help."
Geordie frowned at Worf and answered Data.
"Acryops is from the Federation Diplomatic Corps. His role
will be to assist the Captain."
Worf shifted in his chair and grumbled,
"I do not like it! The Captain needs no help in matters of
diplomacy. He is an accomplished diplomat!"
"I hear you Worf, but the Federation is running this show
and the Captain follows orders just like the rest of us. If they
say take a telepath, he takes one."
"It should be me accompanying him to the planet, not that
telepath."
Data watched his friends and listened as Geordie brought the subject
to a close.
"Yeah well I agree with you but orders are orders."
The three officers finished their drinks in silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc sat in his Ready Room mulling over what
Acryops had revealed. He had known for some time that Beverly
loved him. He had seen through her efforts to shield him on KesPrytt,
but what he didn't know was how deep those feelings went. Now
he knew. She loved him as he loved her…completely and utterly.
He had felt this way for so long it had become a part of who he
was, as familiar to him as the beating of his heart.
A proud and sensitive man, he had been devastated by her refusal
to take their relationship forward, in fact it still hurt him
and he was shy of being hurt in such a manner again.
For most of his life he had been content to devote himself to
his chosen profession. He had always known what he wanted to do
and once he achieved that he was satisfied, but the love he held
for Beverly had settled in his heart and, as the years passed,
he realised his life was indeed incomplete. Without her in his
life, his existence would have no meaning and if that meant having
her as a friend only, then so-be-it. It was better than the alternative.
Now he was puzzled. If she felt as he did, why couldn't they explore
that? What was she afraid of? How could he broach the subject?
Should he? And what if he was turned down again? Could he stand
the hurt all over again?
He rose from his chair and sauntered to the replicator, requesting
his usual Earl Grey tea. Returning to his desk, he picked up the
crystal stylus and twirled it to catch the light.
"Oh God, what do I do now?"

 

 

 

 

 

At the Captain's request Acryops stayed in his cabin
for the remaining two days it took to reach Arellius. For the
entire time he was privy to the thoughts of over a thousand people
but he concentrated on the Captain and Beverly. Their refusal
to admit their feelings was a great puzzle to him, one he was
determined to solve.

 

 

 

 

As the mighty Starship entered orbit around Arellius,
Acryops was ordered to the Bridge. He arrived quickly, hearing
the thoughts of everyone at once. Grimacing, he concentrated on
the Captain and smiled at the cool precision he found.
"Captain, have you established contact?"
"Not yet Acryops, I was waiting for your arrival."
"Very well, I am ready."
"Ops open a channel to the surface."
The viewscreen flickered once then cleared to reveal a being of
unremarkable appearance. Of medium height, with dark shoulder
length hair, the only unusual feature being bright pink eyes set
against dark skin. Jean-Luc stood with his usual elegant grace
and addressed the being.
"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise.
May I also introduce Acryops of the Dellars?"
The being on the screen looked carefully at the two men then gave
a slight bow.
"I am Udrom, Chief Negotiator for the Grannic Consortium.
Welcome. We have arranged quarters for you and you aide, we are
sending coordinates now…"
Worf received the information.
"We have them Sir."
"Very well, Udrom…we will beam down at your convenience."
The link severed, Jean-Luc turned to his First Officer.
"Well Number One, the ship is yours until I return."
"Aye Sir, we'll take good care of her."
When Jean-Luc and Acryops entered the transporter room, he was
disappointed to find Beverly hadn't come to say goodbye. The telepath
watched the Captain closely as he fought down his displeasure
and re-focussed on the mission. Satisfied that the Captain had
got control of his thoughts, Acryops smiled at Jean-Luc and nodded
his readiness.
"Energise."
It would be an interesting few days ahead.
Beverly sat in her office in Sickbay and looked again at the chronometer.
"He would be in the transporter room by now. Why am I sitting
here?"
She picked up her chamomile tea but put it down without sipping
the hot liquid. Drawing her legs up until her forehead rested
on her knees, she clasped her hands around her shins and closed
her eyes.
"Come home soon Jean-Luc…"

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc and Acryops rematerialised in a large building
in the city centre. Light and airy, Jean-Luc's eyes were drawn
to the artwork strategically placed around the room.
"It's a collection of several artists work Captain. You would
like to study the pieces more closely."
Frowning at having his thoughts so easily read, Jean-Luc faced
his host and straightened his spine.
"I'm sure that can wait Udrom."
He extended his right hand and, after a moment's hesitation, Udrom
clasped it in a firm grip.
"Ah yes, the Human custom of shaking hands. I believe it
is an ancient gesture meant to reassure. I can see you carry no
weapons. I am reassured."
"Actually, as most Humans are right handed, it was to show
that the weapon hand was empty. Any weapon, be it sword or spear
was transferred to the left hand, with the shield."
"Indeed? How quaint. I take it your weapons are more sophisticated
now?"
Jean-Luc nodded and smiled.
"I believe weapons are on your list of requirements?"
"Yes Captain. I'm sure we can come to an equitable arrangement."
"As am I. How many delegates are there?"
"Five. Apart from myself, there are four other consortiums
represented. Together we hold the mineral wealth of Arellius.
With the Federation's help, we hope to trade those resources for
an alliance mutually beneficial to us both. Why don't we petition
to join the Federation? Because we value our autonomy."
Acryops stepped up to the Captain and peered at Udrom, frowning.
Udrom's eyebrows rose and he smiled showing white pointed teeth.
"Ah forgive me Captain Picard. I will try to remember your
thoughts are your own unless you express them. My apologies…but
you don't approve of this meeting?"
"My approval is not required Udrom. I will follow my orders
and do my job to the best of my ability."
"Thank you Captain…for your …candour."
They were taken from the building and shown to a suite of rooms
nearby. Jean-Luc had his bag beamed down and spent some time setting
out his things. He had three hours to kill, so he set his alarm
and stretched out on his bed, hoping to get some sleep. His door
chime interrupted that plan.

Jean-Luc got up and opened his door, expecting to see
Acryops. He was startled to find a tall female Arellian. She pushed
past the Captain and began pacing around his room.
"I beg your pardon…who are you and what are you doing
in my room?"
"I understand your confusion Captain Picard. My name is Nerella
and I have risked much to get to see you. I represent an alliance
of people who want these negotiations stopped. Once the consortiums
get what they want from the Federation, including weapons, we
will be subjugated. You have to return to your ship Captain! The
talks must stop now before they start."
Jean-Luc stared at the woman, thinking furiously. Before he could
voice his thoughts, she interrupted him.
"I know captain. You're thinking you should call security.
Don't. I'm armed and I will use any force necessary to avoid capture.
You want to know what's going on? The workers of the planet have
been under the rule of the consortiums for generations. Over the
last twenty years, we've been trying to achieve self-government,
but the consortiums won't allow it. There have been some insurrections,
all ruthlessly put down. Thousands of lives have been lost. If
these negotiations go ahead it will sound a death knell for my
people…we will not give up, they will have to annihilate
us."
"You realise that by telling me this, you have compromised
me? I don't know if I can keep this from them."
"If the talks fail, it won't be an issue. You're thinking
you should contact your superiors. That's a good idea. We're a
dirty secret the consortiums have kept for too long. It's about
time our struggle became common knowledge. I will leave you now
Captain. The telepath who is with you will know of my visit. Can
he be trusted?"
"I…I don't know."
"Oh well, we shall see, won't we? Goodbye Captain Picard."
She left and Jean-Luc stood in deep thought for a few moments.
He slapped his comm. Badge and called the ship.
"Enterprise this is Picard."
Nothing.
"Enterprise this is Picard, respond please."
When no response was forthcoming, he left his room and went to
Acryops. The chime went unanswered so he opened the door and stepped
in.
"Acryops?"
With no answer, he entered the bedroom and was stunned to find
the telepath unconscious on the floor, bleeding from a head wound.
Attached to his temples was a metal device embedded in his skull.
Jean-Luc was checking his pulse when he felt a weapon pressed
to the base of his neck.
"Don't move Captain!"
He felt the stinging prick of a needle in his shoulder and moments
later his vision began to blur. As he pitched forward, his last
thought was…
"They know!"

 

 

 

It was the pounding in his head that eventually woke
him. He realised soon after that his shoulders were practically
screaming with pain. Cracking his eyes open he found that he was
tied, his hands behind his back and his arms raised as he leaned
forward. A post separated his hands from his body; his feet were
tied to it also. Ordering his legs on line, he tried to stand
to take the strain off his tortured arms, but he couldn't muster
the necessary control. His head was an overwhelming sea of agony
and he closed his eyes as nausea rose quickly. He vomited abruptly
and continued to retch ineffectually as he tried to get his breath.
He didn't hear the door opening.
"Gods what a mess! You filthy dog!"
The blow to his face loosened two teeth and broke his nose. Blood
gushed down his chest and it was only then that he realised he
was clad only in his briefs. He dimly heard water running but
was not prepared when the cold liquid was sloshed over him. He
gasped and gagged again, another bucket of water finding its mark.
"There! Now that you're cleaner we can have a little chat."
Jean-Luc tried to lift his head, without success. The drug they
had used was incompatible with Humans and he felt the oncoming
rush of senselessness.
"Oh no you don't!"
A rough hand pushed his head up and he felt a sharp pain in his
temple. Blood trickled down his face as he experienced a sudden
jolt throughout his body. He writhed within his bonds and cried
out.
"Now you stay with me Captain or you will be 'encouraged'
to pay attention!"
Catching his breath, Jean-Luc groaned and opened his eyes. The
light lanced in, making him gag again, the pain blooming in his
head. He tried to formulate words.
"What…?"
"No, no, no my dear Captain. You don't ask the questions
here…I do. Now I know a member of the alliance has been to
see you. Who was it?"
In desperation, Jean-Luc formed a picture of a brick wall in his
mind and concentrated fiercely on it.
"Now, now Captain that won't do. Here, let me give you some
incentive to cooperate."
The electrical current entered his head and coursed through his
body. It was stronger than before and he screamed with the pain
it caused.
"Consider this Captain. I can take these transponders and
attach them to any part of your body. Think of it…in your
spine…your genitals…the settings give me the opportunity
to experiment, I've never had a Human to play with."
As Jean-Luc's body recovered, he once again formed the wall in
his mind.
"Stop it! It's pointless you puny Human!"
The next shock was too high and Jean-Luc passed out.

 

 

 

 

On the Enterprise, Beverly was preparing for bed
when her door chimed. Bidding the caller entry, she was annoyed
to see Deanna enter her living area.
"Hello Deanna, what can I do for you?"
The Counsellor frowned at Beverly's tone, the feelings of irritation
washing over her. Erecting her mental barriers, Deanna settled
herself and offered a truce.
"Beverly I know you don't want to see me right now, but your
discomfort can be felt decks away. Let me help…please?"
What started as a glare of defiance became a grimace of contrition.
"I'm sorry Deanna. It's just…I didn't go to the transporter
room to see him off and I'm feeling a little guilty about it."
Deanna thought about that then shook her head.
"No there's more."
This time Beverly did glare.
"Look I told you before, I don't want to talk about it!"
"It's eating away at you Beverly. How long do you think before
it starts affecting your work…your sleep?"
Beverly's muttered, "It already has." was nearly missed
by the Counsellor.
"What has?"
"My sleep. I dream of him Deanna. He inhabits my every thought
awake or asleep."
"What does that tell you?"
"I don't know…that I'm obsessed?"
"Not obsessed Beverly…in love."
Beverly wandered to the sofa and sat, distracted by her thoughts.
"It doesn't make sense! I'm not some puerile adolescent suffering
from an infatuation. I can't understand what's happening to me."
Deanna came and sat next to her friend, taking her hand.
"Beverly have you ever considered that he may just be the
love of your life?"
Beverly turned startled blue eyes upon the Counsellor.
"But what about Jack?"
"Did you feel this deeply for him?"
"I loved him…"
"Yes, but you were young and inexperienced. Was the love
you felt for Jack so all-encompassing, so profound?"
"I…I don't know."
"Well you've got something to think about then haven't you?
If you can see your way through this, I think you'll know what
to do."
Beverly didn't register her friend's departure. She sat on the
sofa deep in thought.
"Did I love Jack as much as I love Jean-Luc? Well of course
I did, I married him didn't I? We had Wesley and five glorious
years together. Then he died. Jean-Luc has been in love with me
since we first met. He loved me even though I married his best
friend…and I knew. I teased him and flirted outrageously…how
that must have hurt him…but Deanna's right, I was young…and
carefree. Could I have that again…with Jean-Luc? Is what
I feel for him more mature, more based on years of friendship
and…yes…love?
He's loved me unreservedly for thirty years…can I love him
with the same commitment? The same steadfast resolve? Oh God,
what have I done?"

 

 

 

Before Will retired for the night, he put in a call to
the Bridge.
"Bridge, Riker here."
"Yes Sir?"
"Has there been any communication from Captain Picard?"
"No Sir, none."
"Thank you, Riker out."
Will wandered into his bedroom, frowning in thought.
"That's unusual, he usually reports in. Oh well, he's probably
up to his eyebrows in negotiations and is sound asleep by now.
He'll contact us tomorrow."
Will stretched out on his bed and sighed. Still thinking of his
Captain, he drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc was awakened with a slap across his face.
"Come on Captain…wakey wakey. I have things to do and
you're holding me up."
As he became aware, his mind seized on the image of the wall.
His tormentor sighed.
"Not that again! Look let me be clear. You cannot keep this
up. Eventually I will find out what I want…you can't hold
out forever. Save yourself the anguish Captain. Relax and let
your mind wander…I'll do all the work."
Jean-Luc closed his eyes and concentrated on the image.
"Stubborn fool!"
Unbeknown to the suffering man, a second transponder had been
placed over his lower spine. When the shock hit he convulsed in
agony, barely able to scream. Some of the bricks in the wall began
to tumble and he fought to re-assemble them.
"I suppose you're wondering what's going on? Well I'll enlighten
you. You were requested for a very specific purpose. Above all
the other Captains in Starfleet, you alone have the record of
diplomatic excellence we needed. We knew you were not in favour
of the negotiations…you preferred to see us join the Federation,
didn't you? Well, as Udrom already explained, we didn't want that.
If you hadn't been contacted by the alliance, we would have concluded
the talks, completed the deal and nobody would've been the wiser.
The Federation would have gotten what it wanted and we would have
gotten what we wanted. However, the contact by the alliance changed
all that. Once we have the information we seek, you and the Dellar
telepath will be held as hostages until the Federation accedes
to our demands. The rules may have changed, but the game remains
the same. The consortiums will never give in to the alliance and
if we can't get what we want from the Federation, we will go elsewhere.
You, my dear Captain will become just another casualty of this
distasteful dispute. Now…who contacted you?"
In the ensuing time, Jean-Luc had re-assembled the wall and he
let it grow in his mind. He didn't hear the sneer as the shock
coursed through his body.
Gasping in agony, he slumped against his bonds. His tormentor
laughed cruelly.
"You know…you're really quite amusing. You should see
yourself, the great Starfleet Captain, reduced to a quivering
mass by just a few shocks! Members of the alliance have more spine
than you Picard, at least they suffer in silence."
The next jolt surged through his body and he writhed in a rictus
of anguish.
"Just tell me the name Picard, that's all…just the name."
Jean-Luc's mind scrambled to form the wall. As sweat dripped from
him, he squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated, willing his reeling
brain to hold on to the image.
"You'll regret that!"
He became aware of a second person in the room as he was roughly
held upright and his briefs were torn from him. A third transponder
was brutally attached to his testicles and he cried out at the
assault. He was left to slump forward again, his shoulder muscles
tearing with his weight.
"I've been told that the testicles of a Human male are very…sensitive.
Shall we see?"
Jean-Luc lifted his head and shook it slowly, tears in his eyes.
"Don't…"
The pain was too much. He writhed, convulsed, vomited and passed
out.

 

 

 

He could barely function when they woke him, but still
he summoned the wall.
"This is taking too long! We can't keep the dampening field
active for too much longer. If his ship tries to locate him…"
"I'm aware of you concerns Udrom."
"What have you done with the Dellarite?"
Bleck, Jean-Luc's tormentor shrugged his bare shoulders.
"He was…damaged by the probe. We have him confined."
Udrom stood in front of Jean-Luc and sniffed with disgust.
"He stinks!"
Bleck laughed and rose to stand with his superior.
"So would you if…"
"Enough Bleck! Get the information by tomorrow or kill him."
Jean-Luc dimly heard the door open and close and shivered when
he felt Bleck's breath on his cheek.
"Well Captain I suppose you heard him. What do you think
I should do? Hmm? More of the same?"
Jean-Luc closed his eyes and wearily stiffened the wall.
"Ah Captain…wrong answer. You are stubborn. Alright
then, something different."
Rough hands cut his bonds, allowing him to fall to the floor.
He sensed movement and soon he was rudely picked up and pushed
onto a steel chair. Once again he was tied, this time to the arms
and legs of the chair.
The blow to the shins was unexpected and agonising. Before he
could process the pain, his stomach was assaulted. He was beaten
with batons until nearly senseless, then a mild shock was passed
through his body to revive him. The pain radiated out from his
head, spine and testicles. His voice now a ruined parody of its
former mellifluous quality, he still cried out, his tears mingling
with his blood.
Hard hands grabbed his head, forcing his eyes open. He felt the
presence in his mind and focussed on the first thing that came
to his battered mind…Beverly.

 

 

 

 

 

Will woke the next day feeling refreshed
and eager to get to the Bridge. He was pleased when his door chime
sounded and left his quarters in the company of Deanna Troi. They
entered the Bridge together and took their customary seats.
"Good morning all. Ops, any contact from Captain Picard?"
"No Sir."
Will frowned and turned to Deanna, raising his eyebrows.
Deanna centred herself and let her powerful mind reach out for
the familiar sensation of the Captain. After a few moments she
frowned and shook her head.
"I can't sense him at all. Something seems to be blocking
me."
"What about Acryops?"
"No, I'm not getting anything at all from the planet."
Will straightened and placed his hands on his knees. Raising his
head, he attempted communication.
"Enterprise to Picard."
Silence.
"Enterprise calling Captain Picard, respond please."
When no reply was forthcoming, he turned to the Counsellor and
scowled.
"What the hell's going on? Engineering this is the Bridge."
"LaForge here."
"Geordie we can't contact the Captain and Counsellor Troi
is being blocked. See what's going on and report back."
"Aye Sir."
They had only minutes to wait.
"Commander this is Engineering. They've got a dampening field
in place."
"Can we punch through it?"
"I think so, but it'll take a while."
"Do it!"
"Why? Why the hell would they place a dampening field over
the planet?"
Deanna sighed and touched his hand.
"Maybe they just want some privacy Will. We don't know all
that much about them."
Will ran a hand over his beard and looked sceptically at his friend.
"Yeah well I don't like it. They never mentioned anything
about it when the Captain greeted them."
Deanna frowned, sensing the growing frustration in her former
lover.
"Be patient Will."
He snorted and waited for Geordie to work his wonders.

 

 

 

 

 

By now the slaps to his face had become commonplace.
His nose slowly dripped blood down his chest as he became aware
that Bleck was showing him something.
"Come on Picard…focus, that's it. See this? This is
the control for the transponders. I thought you'd like to see
me activate it."
With sick fascination, Jean-Luc watched the man's thumb slowly
move over the buttons. He flinched as the digit paused, then moved
again, eliciting a cruel laugh from Bleck.
"No not that one Picard. You pass out when I press that one.
No…I think this one."
His thumb hovered over a button and suddenly descended.
Jean-Luc's head snapped back and he screamed, losing control of
his bladder. As the shock passed, the batons struck his hands.
He felt several bones break and he sobbed in utter misery. Again
the hands lifted his head and Bleck's eyes bored into his head.
"I will get in Picard…you cannot stop me."
"Beverly…"
Bleck stood up and kicked Jean-Luc in frustration.
"Who is she Picard? We know you're not married…a lover
perhaps? She must be something for you to cling to her so strongly.
No matter, eventually we will dispose of her as well. Now, again,
who came to you?"
Jean-Luc closed his swollen eyes and brought up an image of Beverly,
one he often thought of. She was in his quarters, sitting on the
sofa, one leg drawn up sipping a cup of chamomile tea. She wore
an emerald green skirt and a soft peach top that clung in all
the right places. He had spoken to her and she'd turned her head,
the light catching the fire of her hair. At that moment he knew
he'd never seen a more beautiful woman.
He thought of that now and when the shock hit him, he heard his
scream as if from somewhere else.

 

 

 

 

 

It was three hours before Geordie contacted the Bridge.
"Commander we can get through now."
"At last! Can we find the Captain?"
"No Sir."
Standing, Will turned to the viewscreen.
"Ops open a channel."
He was annoyed to find a junior clerk had answered.
"I'm sorry Commander Riker, your Captain is in conference
and can't be disturbed."
"Nevertheless I would like…"
Will stopped when an upset Deanna grabbed his arm. He swung around
and made a cutting gesture across his throat, severing communications.
"What?"
"Will something's terribly wrong with the Captain! I feel
pain…agony…we've got to get him…now!"
Returning his attention to the screen, he nodded to Ops to recommence
the link.
"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name?"
The clerk shifted in his chair and peered down his nose.
"I am Frick, junior adjutant for…"
"Yes of course. I would like to speak to your superior Frick…now."
"I'm sure I can…"
"No you can't. Get your superior now, or I'll come down there
myself with a party of security officers."
Frick paled somewhat and muted the sound. He could be seen frantically
pressing buttons and talking. Abruptly his image disappeared and
another took its place.
"I am Dreff, senior aide to Delegate Udrom. What do you want?"
"I want to speak to Captain Picard!"
That's not possible at this time. We…"
"Make it possible."
Dreff stiffened, his ebony face growing shades darker.
"Now you look here, we don't take kindly to…"
"No you look here. We have reason to believe our Captain
needs our help and we'll stop at nothing to get him. Do you have
any idea what our phasers and photon torpedoes can do to your
planet from orbit?"
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Believe it! Now I'm going to send down some officers and
you're going to take them to Captain Picard…understand?"
Dreff pulled down the corners of his mouth and glared at Will.
"Very well, but we will be lodging a formal complaint with
your superiors!"
"As you wish."
Will severed the contact and called Data, Beverly and Worf to
the Bridge.
When they arrived, he briefed them.
"Something's wrong with the Captain. I want you all armed.
Worf, take three security personnel and go down there, find him
and bring him back. Beverly take a med kit. Deanna I want you
to go as well…Data your responsibility will be Beverly and
Counsellor Troi. We don't know what's going on down there and
I don't want to take any chances."
The assembled officers nodded and left the Bridge to gather their
equipment and phasers. The last thing they heard was Will saying…
"Bring him home."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc felt the invasion of his mind even before
he was fully conscious. It pervaded his thoughts, coiling around
like a snake. He sobbed and shook his head, calling up the picture
of his beloved Beverly. The presence expanded and pain blossomed
encompassing everything he had. He screamed and suddenly a white
light seared through his brain. He noted the shutdown and let
it happen, gratefully accepting the oblivion and the respite from
the torture.
Bleck let Jean-Luc's head go and stood back, rubbing his temples.
"Damn!"
He picked up the control and pressed a button. Jean-Luc's body
jerked, but there was no other response. He slapped his face and
had his cohorts beat him with the batons, but still there was
no response.
"What have you done?"
"I don't know! He seems to be comatose."
"Well bring him out of it! His ship is sending down a party
to find him, we're running out of time!"
Bleck spat on Jean-Luc and slapped him again.
"I don't know how! He's Human…I've never had a Human
here before. I didn't know they were so…fragile."
"What about the Dellarite? Has he recovered yet?"
"No."
"Well keep working on him. I'll deflect his shipmates, you
wake him up. We need answers!"
After Udrom left, Bleck lifted Jean-Luc's face and noted the complete
lack of muscle tone. He sent a shock through his body almost as
an afterthought.
"No…you're gone."

 

 

 

 

 

The away team materialised in the same large building
the Captain and Acryops had arrived in. They were met by Dreff.
"I believe you wish to see your Captain? If you will follow
me…"
He led them off in a northerly direction. They had gone only a
few metres when Deanna stopped them.
"This is the wrong way! He is…"
She turned and closed her eyes, concentrating.
"…this way."
She led the team to the south, Dreff running to catch them.
"Wait! You're going the wrong way. Your Captain is…"
He lifted his arm and pointed to the other direction.
"He's lying."
Dreff blanched, opened his mouth, then suddenly bolted.
Alone, the team turned to Deanna.
"This way."
Phasers drawn, they left the building and found themselves on
a broad street. The inhabitants scuttled out of their way, easily
reading their belligerent thoughts. They had gone two blocks when
an armed party came running around the corner. They immediately
took cover as the first shots were fired. Pinned down, they were
returning fire when Data spoke to Deanna.
"Could you find the Captain from the Enterprise?"
"No I don't think so."
"Could you find him from here?"
"I…I'll try."
She closed her eyes, ignoring the phaser blasts and shots ringing
through the air.
"Data…I think…I can get close…"
"Can you tell the Enterprise where to put us?"
"Yes I think so."
Data slapped his combadge.
"Enterprise prepare to transport to new coordinates."
Deanna relayed her information and soon the six crew disappeared
in a sparkle of blue light. They rematerialised outside a nondescript
grey building on the outskirts of the city.
Deanna gathered herself and suddenly pointed to the black door.
"In there!"
A short phaser blast took care of the lock and they entered at
a crouch expecting resistance. There was none. Moving down a dark
corridor, Deanna led them into a room that had a staircase in
the far corner. Unerringly, she led them down three flights of
stairs and paused at the bottom, before turning to her left and
confronting a large locked duranium door.
"We've got to get through that. He's close…but for some
reason…he's barely registering. It's as if…he must be
unconscious."
Deanna sensed something much worse, but kept it to herself.
Worf and two of his security team went to work with their phasers
and within minutes they had defeated the locked door.
They ran down a long corridor until Deanna suddenly stopped.
"He's very close…check all these rooms."
The first two rooms were empty and in the third they found Acryops.
Bound and unconscious, he was on the floor, still with the metal
instruments attached to his head. Worf left two crew to stay with
him as the rest continued with their search.
The fifth door they came to was locked. Made of wood, it was no
match for Worf's massive shoulder. It splintered as he crashed
into it. They spilled into the room to find three men beating
a senseless Jean-Luc.
"Stop!"
Bleck sprang to the far side of the room, reaching for a weapon.
Worf fired and Bleck's body danced in the beam before falling
to the ground. The two other henchmen dropped their batons and
raised their hands. Beverly pushed forward and caught sight of
Jean-Luc for the first time.
"Oh my God!"
She ran to him and crouched down, scanning him with a medical
tricorder. Data came forward and undid the bonds, holding Jean-Luc's
body upright. When Beverly didn't move after a few minutes, Deanna
went to her.
"Beverly what is it?"
Tears were slowly rolling down Beverly's face. Without taking
her eyes off Jean-Luc she whispered…
"There's no synaptic activity…none at all. My God what
have they done to him?"
"Beverly what does it mean?"
"He's brain damaged."

 

They materialised in Sickbay, quickly Beverly's well-trained
staff sprang into action. Acryops was placed on a biobed with
Doctor Selar scanning him. Jean-Luc was also placed on a biobed,
his body battered and limp.
Beverly barked her orders to her staff.
"We need to get him to surgery, he's bleeding internally
and has numerous broken bones. We have to find a way to remove
those devices attached to him and I want a level three brain scan
initiated! Come on people…move!"
Will Riker arrived just as the Captain disappeared into the surgical
suite. Without Beverly to question, he turned his attention to
Deanna.
"How is he?"
Deanna faced her Imzadi with tears in her eyes.
"It's bad Will. Beverly says he's got no synaptic activity
in his brain…that he's brain damaged. He's been tortured…there's
broken bones and internal injuries and he has some devices attached
to his body, pain inducers no doubt…Gods Will, why him? Why
didn't we see the danger?"
Will ran a hand through his dark hair and expelled a forceful
breath.
"I don't know, but I intend to ask our 'visitors' in the
brig. Worf had the three you found with the Captain beamed up.
Would you like to help me question them?"
"You'll have to be careful Will, they're telepaths. How do
you intend to conduct the interrogation?"
"I'll keep my mind on the job and try to quell my anger…that's
where you come in. I need your stability Deanna."
The Counsellor gripped his arm and pulled him down so that she
could plant a quick kiss on his cheek.
"You have it Imzadi…always."
Will straightened and looked again at the surgery suite doors.
"You'll stay here?"
"Until you need me, yes."
"You'll let me know…?"
Deanna nodded and Will left, his big frame filling the doorway
as he passed through.

 

 

 

 

 

After fusing the broken bones and repairing the damaged
internal organs, Beverly turned her attention to the transponders
attached to Jean-Luc's body. Working first on the one on his head,
she scanned it and was waiting for the computer to finish analysing
it when Selar entered the room.
With her usual Vulcan stoicism, she stood quietly looking down
at the stricken man.
Beverly glanced up and nodded.
"How is Acryops?"
"We have repaired his physical injuries, but the device attached
to his head has, so far, defeated us. Until we can ascertain its
purpose, we can't remove it."
Beverly looked up and frowned.
"Its purpose? Do you think it's linked directly to his brain?"
"Yes Doctor Crusher, I do, but for what reason…I'm not
sure. Perhaps it has something to do with telepathy, as he shares
that ability with his captors."
Just then the computer beeped, catching Beverly's attention. She
squinted at the readout and spat…
"Those bastards! They're pain inducers all right, directly
connected to the nerve ends. We need to check for damage to the
spinal cord, his genitals and the neural pathways of his brain.
We can remove them, one at a time…but very carefully. Any
wrong move could result in further damage. We'll start with the
one on his spine. Selar can you assist?"
"Yes Doctor, of course."
They gently turned Jean-Luc over; the staff wincing at the sight
of more heavily bruised flesh. Beverly noted the device was active
and scanned it again to see if she could deactivate it. The tricorder
whirred and beeped, an audible click coming from the device, its
lights extinguishing.
"Right it's off. Hand me a retractor."
It took ten minutes of gentle prising, but the evil transponder
finally came free. With the autosuture she closed the resulting
wound, then they gently turned him back over.
"Ok, that's one. Now we work on his testicles."
With the same gentle determination, the device was removed, then
Beverly moved to Jean-Luc's head.
"Selar run a scan to see how deeply this one is embedded.
I'll deactivate it and connect him to a neural scanner."
The two Doctors worked silently, Selar finishing first.
"Doctor Crusher the device has infiltrated the parietal lobe.
The tendrils extend to the corpus callosum. Removing it is going
to be extremely difficult."
Beverly looked up and smiled grimly.
"Well we'll just have to be very careful then, won't we?"

 

 

 

 

After an hour of fruitless work they were
no closer to removing the transponder.
"Dammit! The filaments are too deeply embedded. How the hell
are we supposed to remove the bloody thing?"
Selar raised one perfect eyebrow and thought.
"Why don't we re-activate it?"
"What? Why would we do that?"
"Perhaps we can ascertain how to make the device retract
the tendrils."
Beverly stared at her fellow Doctor for some seconds before coming
to a decision.
"That might just work. Alyssa hand me a tricorder."
She scanned the device and, with the aid of the main computer,
re-activated it. With its small lights blinking, it emitted a
beep and a click.
"Right. Now we see if we can…"
Suddenly Jean-Luc's body arched up from the bed and shuddered.
His breathing became laboured and the cardiac monitor sounded
an alarm.
"He's convulsing! Tricordrazine, ten cc's."
As the drug infiltrated his system he relaxed until he was again
lying quietly on the bed.
Beverly checked her tricorder.
"What happened? I was scanning the device…Damn! I somehow
triggered an electrical discharge. That must be how the pain was
induced. Ok, if that's true then this must be…"
With another click of activation, the top half of the circular
device rotated half a turn and stopped, the lights staying on.
Selar consulted the computer readout.
"The filaments have retracted two point five centimetres.
The corpus callosum is now free of infiltration."
"Good. Now according to this…I should calibrate the
next command to…There!"
The circular piece completed its turn and, after a moment's soft
beeping, the lights switched off and the device deactivated.
"The filaments have fully retracted. We should be able to
extract the anchoring spikes from the sub cutaneous tissue and
bone without further concerns."
With some gentle prising, the device came free leaving three nasty
wounds in Jean-Luc's left temple. The application of an autosuture
erased the injuries and his head was cleansed of the spilt blood.
A series of scans was initiated to assess the damage to his spinal
cord and genitals, Beverly frowning deeply as she read the results.
"There has been significant disruption to the neural pathways
of his spine. He's going to require intensive regen therapy to
regain the full use of his legs. We'd better check…"
Beverly looked up from the terminal and addressed her staff.
"With the exception of Doctor Selar, I would like you all
to leave us now please."
Her staff filed out and Beverly looked frankly at her fellow Doctor.
"We should check his genitals…see if he can attain an
erection and ejaculate. I thought he would appreciate some privacy."
Selar said nothing as Beverly retrieved the necessary equipment.
Placing a stimulator band around the base of his flaccid penis,
she activated it and waited. Nothing happened.
"Damn. The nerves have been damaged here too."
She removed the band and covered him with a sheet.
"We can move him to his private room. I'll set up a regen
field over the worst of his injuries and connect him to a neural
stimulator. Selar I want you to concentrate on Acryops. Remove
the device on his head and compare the damage with Captain Picard.
I want to know if their conditions are similar. We might be able
to bring him out of this comatose state if we can learn a little
more. Once the Captain is settled in his room, I'm going down
to the detention cells and ask our 'visitors' some questions.
Keep me appraised of any changes, no matter how slight."
"Yes Sir."
The next hour was spent installing Jean-Luc in his private room
and connecting him to the numerous monitors and regen fields.
Once she was satisfied he was safe and comfortable, Beverly left
Sickbay for the Brig.

 

 

Will was quickly becoming angry.
"What do you mean… 'Diplomatic immunity'?"
"There is no need for you to get upset Commander. As I explained
I was acting on the orders of my government and, as your Captain
was directly involved with the government, he was under my jurisdiction."
"That makes no sense! You kidnapped and tortured a member
of the Federation, a Starfleet Captain, and you claim you have
immunity from prosecution? How could you think you could do such
a thing and get away with it?"
"You forget we are a non-aligned species. What happens on
our planet is not your concern."
"It is when it involves our Captain!"
"You're getting angry again Commander. Your thoughts tell
me that you wish to do me physical harm. Does that not make us
of similar mind?"
"No! I'm angry because you hurt my Captain, whom I also consider
a friend, and you show no remorse. In fact you calmly sit there
and pass off your actions as nothing more that departmental policy.
I ask you again, why did you capture and torture Captain Picard?"
"And I answer you again Commander, I was acting on orders
from my government. I know nothing other than that."
Will stalked in front of the energy field separating him from
Bleck.
He was about to erupt when Deanna gripped his arm. He looked down
into the black depths of her eyes and relented. She stepped up
to the barrier.
"I sense your uneasiness Bleck. You're hiding something."
Bleck stood and walked closer.
"I've heard of your species…Betazoid aren't you? Why
don't you just read my thoughts?"
"I'm not fully Betazoid, I'm half Human. I'm not telepathic,
my gift is empathy. I sense how people feel."
"I see, how interesting. Not very useful in my line of work."
His sardonic smile made Will bridle, his dark thoughts bringing
a wider smile to the Arellian.
"Now Commander…a little restraint would be beneficial."
Will glowered at the man, but said nothing. Deanna cleared her
throat.
"What I said before still stands. You're hiding something."
"We all hide things we'd rather not share."
"Amongst a species of telepaths I find that unlikely."
"Perhaps, but I'm not amongst telepaths here…am I?"
"No, that's true, although I have my ways."
This brought a laugh from the prisoner.
"Come now Counsellor. You can't possibly expect to pit your
mind against mine! You wouldn't stand a chance."
"I won't enter a contest, no…however I still maintain
I can get what I want from you."
Bleck folded his arms across his chest and rocked back on his
heels. Looking down his nose, he snorted.
"I doubt that."
Deanna walked slowly back and forth in front of the imprisoned
man.
"Why do you feel a stab of guilt when Captain Picard's name
is mentioned?"
Bleck pursed his thin lips and frowned.
"What happened was…unfortunate…unintentional. I'd
never had a Human to work on before. I had no idea their brains
were so fragile."
"So why did you do it?"
"Conventional methods were taking too long. I had been requested
to retrieve information and your Captain was being…reticent."
"He was fighting you."
"In a limited fashion. It was only a matter of time before
he broke, but time was not something I had a lot of."
"So what did you do?"
Bleck smiled in an oily way and winked at the Counsellor.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"The Captain is in a comatose state. It seems reasonable
to assume you assaulted him telepathically. Can he be retrieved?"
A frown creased Bleck's dark brow and Deanna felt the regret wash
over her.
"To be honest, I don't know. As I said I'm unfamiliar with
Humans."
"I find it unusual that you feel sorrow for one of your victims.
Considering what it is you do, I would have thought a measure
of indifference was required."
"Normally you would be correct. I don't usually feel anything
for my…subjects."
"But Captain Picard?"
Bleck sighed and sat on his bunk, lowering his head.
"He was one of Udrom's schemes. He has no finesse, no pride
in what he does. He brought your Captain to me and expected answers
immediately…he had no appreciation of the effort involved
from either my subject or me. Captain Picard was…is…a
unique individual, far stronger than I anticipated. I would've
liked more time to study him…are all Humans as strong as
he?"
"So you do regret what you did to him?"
"Yes, I suppose I do."
…"Then you'll be willing to help me!"
Beverly stopped next to Deanna and glared at Bleck.
He stood, smiled and sauntered to the force field.
"And who might you be?"
"I am Doctor Beverly Crusher and I need some answers to help
my patient."
"Your patient being…?"
"Captain Picard."
"You care for him…a great deal. Doesn't that affect
your objectivity?"
"Mind your own business! What did you do to him?"
Bleck smiled and cocked his head to one side.
"Your terrified he might not recover! In fact this is an
old fear, one that has paralysed your feelings from being explored
with him. Yes! You're the woman he thought of! Do you know he…loves
you?"
Beverly pinched the bridge of her nose as Deanna gripped her shoulder.
It was the Counsellor who spoke next.
"You have felt remorse for what you did to the Captain. Whatever
was going on down on the planet is over. You are in our custody
and will remain so at least for the interim. What possible motive
could you have for continuing to assault the Captain by not helping
him now? You've already admitted you admire him. It may well count
in your favour in the future if you help us."
"If I answer you, will you tell me how you maintain your
mental barriers against my probing?"
"Bleck…"
"Alright! I used an invasive method called intrascanning.
I forced myself into his mind and quashed all his individuality.
I took away his sense of self, his memories, everything that made
him who he was. With another Arellian it would enable me to sort
through the detritus and retrieve any information I wanted. It's
a little drastic and time consuming, but normally, the subject
recovers with very few after effects."
"Can you…reverse the process?"
"I don't know, I never had to before. What you're asking…I
would have to attempt to restore him…I don't think I can."
Beverly's hands formed into fists at her sides.
"Well will you at least try?"
"In all truth Doctor, I think it would do more harm than
good."
"So you won't help."
"Look at it from my perspective Doctor. If I try to help
you and he worsens it will not go well for me, now will it? As
your fellow officer has already pointed out, I'm in trouble. I've
no wish to exacerbate my position."
"But Goddamn it Bleck…"
Deanna held Beverly's arm silencing her.
"Can you tell us what it was you were trying to get from
the Captain?"
Bleck sighed and shrugged his shoulders.
"Apparently your Captain had been contacted by the alliance.
Udrom wanted to know whom, exactly, contacted him. With a name,
he could unearth the cell and find the rest of the collaborators.
It would've taken a lot of sympathetic people to get them in to
see Captain Picard….he was in a Federal building after all.
It could have been very…productive."
Will stepped forward frowning.
"The alliance?"
Bleck sighed again and waved his hand dismissively.
"Ask Udrom….I don't delve into politics."
The three Starfleet officers left the holding cell and paused
in the corridor. Once the doors had closed, Beverly hissed…
"Bastard! He won't help, the lowlife lump of…"
Deanna held up her hand.
"Beverly how is the Captain? Has there been any change?"
"No! In fact we've found he's got spinal damage and damage
to his genitals, let alone the brain damage. My God what he must
have gone through!"
"What about Acryops?"
"No joy there either. He's in some kind of coma, induced
we think, by a device attached to his head."
"Like the Captain had?"
"No, different. What are you thinking Deanna?"
"Acryops is a powerful telepath. If he recovers maybe he
could help with Captain Picard."
Beverly's eyes opened wide.
"Yes! I'll get back to Sickbay straight away and Selar and
I will double our efforts."
She left, her lab coat flapping. Will looked down at his best
friend.
"Do you think it's a real chance…that Acryops can help?"
Deanna watched Beverly's receding back.
"I don't know…I hope so."

 

 

 

 

 

Selar looked again at the readout and ran the medical
scanner over the instrument attached to the Dellarite's head.
She picked up a tricorder and passed it over his temple, frowning
at the result. Tapping in some commands, the device emitted a
soft beep and two halves of a circle separated, giving access
to its innards.
Again Selar scanned it and inputted some more commands. Two of
three lights went off and, after further study; Selar reached
down and pressed a button on the device. The final green light
went red, then extinguished. She checked the twin on his other
temple to find it deactivated. Watching the computer monitor,
Selar gently lifted the device from Acryops' temple. It came away
with some skin attached, causing a slight bleed. It was soon repaired
and the other device removed. Acryops now lay free of the instruments.
Beverly entered the room and stood silently by his bed, reading
the results of the scans.
"Is there any synaptic activity?"
"Yes Doctor, but very low grade. He is still deeply unconscious;
yet better than he was before. I believe he will recover, although
I do not know when."
"How is Captain Picard?"
"No change Doctor. Did you find out anything useful?"
"I can tell you he was violated telepathically. His mind
was infiltrated by another's thoughts and everything he was has
been subjugated. All memories, all sense of self…all gone."
Selar frowned and shook her head.
"I was with him just a few moments ago. Physically he is
recovering well. We passed a stimulator down his legs and got
a good response. He is a very strong individual Doctor. Given
the level of care he will receive here, I can only predict he
will recover."
It was as close to an emotional response as she could muster and
Beverly was grateful.
"Thank you Selar, I'm sure you're right. I think I'll go
and sit with him for a while. Will you be alright here?"
"Yes Doctor."
Beverly left the main room and entered the quiet surrounds of
the Captain's private room.
He lay on the bed, now dressed in blue Sickbay pyjamas and covered
by a light blanket. Beverly drew up a chair and sat beside him
and, watching his chest rise and fall, was lulled into a light
doze.
She awoke an hour later, startled to find her head on her arms
next to his head. She rose and stretched and froze when she looked
down at him. His eyes were open.
"Jean-Luc?"
Nothing.
She passed her hand in front of his unseeing gaze and nothing
happened. She snapped her fingers. He didn't blink. Checking the
monitor, she picked up a medical tricorder and scanned him. She
sighed when she read the results and gently closed his eyes.
"Sleep my love, we'll find a way to bring you home."

 

 

 

For the next thirty-six hours, Jean-Luc's body continued
to heal but his mind stayed closed down. No stimuli could rouse
him, he responded to nothing.
Beverly taped his eyes shut to prevent damage when she found he'd
gone through the night with his unblinking eyes open.
Acryops, on the other hand, started to improve. His wounds healed,
his brain activity began to manifest itself in increased action
in his neural output and, on the fourth day, his eyes slowly opened.
Beverly was by his side.
He looked groggily around him and raised his hand to his head.
Beverly gently took his hand and placed it on the bed.
"Easy there, you've had quite a spell."
He focussed his eyes on her and summoned his voice.
"I have been…away."
"Yes. You were assaulted and suffered a brain injury. We
have been treating you."
He thought about that for a while then said, his eyes widening…
"The Arellians!"
"It's alright, they failed. We have their torturers aboard
confined to our Brig. They can't hurt you any more."
He grabbed Beverly's hand and stared into her eyes.
"No…Captain Picard…he won't be able to withstand…"
"He's here."
"Here? In Sickbay? Is he alright?"
Beverly turned her head and looked at the door to his private
room. Turning back to her patient, she shook her head sadly.
"No Acryops, he's not alright at all. Apart from severe physical
injuries he suffered a brain assault that we cannot treat."
Acryops attempted to sit up. Beverly gently pushed him down.
"No you don't, I want you to rest."
"But I…what kind of assault was it? Who did it?"
"Bleck was the assailant. He said it was called intrascanning."
Acryops closed his eyes and shook his head.
"That's very bad. In a Dellarite it causes…well you've
seen what it does to us."
"He did it to you too? I though that might be the case, but
we know so little about these kinds of assaults."
"You must let me up, I think I can help your Captain."
"How?"
"With luck I can infiltrate myself into his mind and undo
the damage Bleck has done."
"With luck? I need something more substantial than that."
Acryops brushed Beverly's hands aside and slowly sat up. He leaned
forward slightly and grasped her forearms.
"I've had some experience recovering people from this kind
of…violation. Let me try…what have you got to lose?"
Beverly frowned, looking down at the earnest Dellarite. Coming
to a decision, she freed her arms.
"Alright, we'll do it, but let me set up some monitors first.
I want to record everything."
While Beverly was busy, Acryops had a drink and something to eat.
When she was ready she wheeled him into Jean-Luc's room.

 

 

 

 

At his request, Acryops was stationed behind
Jean-Luc's head. He leaned forward and placed both hands around
Jean-Luc's brow and closed his eyes. He slowly lowered his head
until his brow touched the crown of the Captain's head.
For some time, nothing happened. Beverly carefully monitored both
patients, noting increased brain activity in the Dellarite. Acryops
soon began to sweat and his body started to tremble. Beverly was
about to say something to him when she saw the first spike of
activity in Jean-Luc's brain waves.

 

 

 

 

In the quiet of Jean-Luc's mind, an intruder presented
itself. At first not disturbed, he soon became aware of pain emanating
from around the intruder. He tried to repel it, turning his mind
to the task and expending all his energy to make it go away.
The pain increased. He was in trouble, he knew it. Using all the
force he could muster, he tried to escape the intruder, but it
pursued him, eventually cornering him.
Panicked and exhausted, the pain an overwhelming sensation in
his mind, he fell to his knees, sobbing with anguish.
"No more…please, no more."
He sensed, rather than saw the bright light. With it came a lessening
of the agony and he became aware of a gentle voice.
"Jean-Luc…come to me."
All he could see was the light.
"Where are you?"
"I am here…I am everywhere. Relax and open you mind."
"No! I must hold on…they will…"
"They are gone Jean-Luc. They hurt you and I will restore
you. All you have to do is open your mind."
He shook his head.
"It's a trick! You will take my…"
"No Jean-Luc. It's Acryops who talks to you. Trust me as
I have trusted you. Open your mind."
Jean-Luc sobbed and gasped.
"I don't know what to do!"
Beverly watched as the struggling Acryops began to groan in pain.
His grip tightened on the Captain's head, sweat running freely
from both men.
"Relax Jean-Luc, don't fight me. Think of Beverly, think
of the one you love."
The image of his beloved came easily to him. She appeared in his
mind and he sighed with the sense of serenity she brought.
"That's it Jean-Luc let the image carry you. Expand it in
you mind, take the image to another plane."
In his mind the image of Beverly transformed. No longer an alluring
figure sitting on his sofa, she was in uniform and on duty. On
the Enterprise. The Enterprise!
Suddenly a multitude of images flooded into his mind. Will, Deanna,
Data, everyone he knew was there. His quarters, the Bridge…and
then pictures of his past, his childhood in LaBarre, the Academy…it
was a riot of images, his memory cascading back.
He gasped, his body arching up from the table. Acryops maintained
the connection, though it obviously caused him great pain. His
own gasps could be heard above Jean-Luc's
He tried to open his eyes and encountered the tape. Panicking,
he violently shook his head from side to side, his hands restrained
at his sides.
Beverly administered a hypospray of light sedative and quickly
removed the tape.
Jean-Luc's eyes snapped open, his chest heaving. He stared wildly
around the room until he saw Beverly. He stilled immediately,
a sob ripped from his throat.
"It's alright! Jean-Luc listen to me. You're safe, it's over.
You're on the Enterprise…take it easy now, just relax, everything's
ok."
She looked up briefly to find Acryops slumped in his chair. Calling
Selar, he was taken from the room and treated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc tried to find his voice. Still ruined from his torture
all he could manage was a whisper.
"Beverly."
She turned to him, tears in her eyes.
"I'm here Jean-Luc."
"My hands…"
"Here let me release them."
Once his hands were free, he raised shaking arms to his beloved
Beverly.
She was in them in a moment. Clutching him around the shoulders,
she whispered in his ear,
"I love you."
It was the words he'd longed to hear. Tears welled up in his eyes
and he hugged her with all his meagre strength.
"Beverly…my sweet Beverly, I have loved you for so long…"
"Shh my love. I want you to rest now. You've been through
hell and back. It's time for you to get better."
She straightened and gently ran her hand down his face. He could
feel the sedative dogging his mind and he sighed, whispering,
"Will you be here when I wake up?"
"Just try and stop me."
He smiled as his eyes drifted closed and, as he slipped into sleep,
the smile stayed on his face.

 

 

 

 

Acryops was lying quietly when Beverly came to see
him. Seemingly over his ordeal, he'd been bathed and had a change
of pyjamas. Beverly tenderly took his hand.
"Thank you so much for what you did. You restored to me the
man I love. There is nothing I can do to repay you…"
"Nothing is required dear Doctor, it was my pleasure to be
able to help. But I must tell you, he is not fully restored. His
memories are complete up to his capture, but he remembers nothing
of his torture…yet."
"Yet?"
"He will remember…he must."
"Must he? Wouldn't it be kinder to leave him..?"
"Doctor…you know as well as I that that isn't possible.
If I don't help him to retrieve those memories, they will surface
in the future only to devastate him. Do you want that?"
Beverly frowned and shook her head.
"Then let me continue to help him. Is he healed…physically?"
"Mostly. We discovered his shoulders were badly damaged and
his larynx will need treatment, but by and large, yes he's healed."
"Good. He will need to be strong. I know from my contact
with his thoughts that he's experienced great anguish in his past.
His assimilation by the Borg, his mistreatment at the hands of
Gul Madred…he is a very resilient Human."
"Yes he is, I only wish he didn't have to be."
"I don't think I'm breaking any confidences in telling you
that he loves you."
Beverly smiled wistfully and closed her eyes.
"I know. He's loved me for a very long time."
"And I also know you love him…in equal measure."
She nodded, her eyes still closed.
"Then do something about it dear Doctor! The strength of
love you share should not be denied."
Her eyes opened and he could see the resolve in their blue depths.
"Oh, I intend to Acryops…believe me when he's recovered…"
The telepath held up his hand, a smile on his face.
"Say no more Doctor, I can hear you loud and clear."
Beverly spent some time checking his monitors and ordering more
tests for the Dellarite. Eventually she was back at his side.
"Acryops…about his memories…how will you do it?"
"With his permission, I will re-enter his mind and find the
thoughts. They're buried deeply within his subconscious, his way
of bearing what happened to him."
"What did he do?"
"I'm not certain, being unfamiliar with Humans, but I'd guess
that he closed his mind down at the height of the assault. It's
a technique we learn to protect ourselves…it's what I did.
I suspect that Bleck was unaware that either of us could do it."
"The Human brain isn't really supposed to be able to do that.
Under extreme duress unconsciousness can be achieved and a certain
amount of disassociation can occur, but a shutdown such as you
describe…well it's unusual to say the least. He has had mind
melds with Vulcans, perhaps that aided him."
"Yes I detected the thoughts of others in his mind. I didn't
identify them as Vulcan though. What an interesting man. At a
cursory level he's calm and cool, almost glacial in his thoughts.
When he's provoked his anger is towering yet still completely
controlled. No wonder he was able to withstand so much of Bleck's
torture. He would be the most interesting Human I've ever met."
"He's many things Acryops, probably the most complex man
I know."
"Well he's going to need all his strength Doctor."
Beverly nodded and, as she turned to leave, looked back over her
shoulder.
"He's also got us, don't forget that."
The telepath smiled and settled back in his bed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly was indeed by his side when he woke up. Jean-Luc
stretched and sighed. Beverly took his hand and squeezed it gently.
"Now…first things first. No talking. I'm doing some
work on your larynx and I don't want all my good efforts put to
waste. Second I want you to eat something…nothing heavy,
a light salad perhaps and some Earl Grey? Then, and only then,
can we 'talk'."
Jean-Luc sighed again and grinned at his best friend. Nodding,
he was pleased when Beverly raised the head of his bed, allowing
him to see better around his room.
She straightened the covers on his bed then left him, soon returning
with a tray, which she placed across his thighs.
"Ok, here's your meal. Eat it all."
He attempted to throw a mock salute but grimaced as he raised
his arm.
"Steady Jean-Luc. You damaged the muscles and ligaments of
your shoulders. We'll be applying regen treatments, but it'll
be a while before they're comfortable."
He raised his eyebrows in a classic 'how?' gesture.
Not knowing quite what to say, Beverly offered…
"I think you must've fallen."
He seemed satisfied with that and looked down at his meal. Picking
up his fork, he pushed the food around, not really attempting
to eat it. Beverly noticed and took the utensil from him.
"If you don't hurry up and eat, I'll hand feed you!"
He gave a 'you wouldn't dare' look and Beverly snorted.
"Just try me."
He looked hard at her and decided she was serious. He gestured
for the fork and, having once again secured it, began to eat his
food. Mollified, Beverly drew up a chair and sat beside him.
She waited until he had finished the food and was sipping his
tea until she mentioned how long he would have to stay.
"You'll be here about a week, all being well."
His eyebrows rose then he scowled.
"Yes, I know…you want to be discharged to your quarters,
but that's not possible yet. Be patient Jean-Luc. Rest assured
I won't keep you here a moment longer than necessary. I promise."
He tenderly took her hand and pulled her towards him. When she
was close enough, he kissed her gently then whispered…
"Why am I here? What happened to me?"
Beverly straightened and softly stroked his face.
"I can't answer that Jean-Luc. When you're a bit stronger,
Acryops will come and see you. He will be able to answer all your
questions."
He frowned and shook his head, but Beverly forestalled him.
"No Jean-Luc don't. You trust me don't you?"
He nodded.
"Then trust me now. Acryops will be able to help you far
more than I can at this point. Just be patient a little longer,
ok?"
His expression was one of puzzlement, but he took her at her word.
Nodding he raised his arms very slowly and she sank into them,
tears in her eyes.

 

 

 

 

The next few days were routine for Jean-Luc.
His regen treatments continued and his body responded well. He
was allowed out of bed on the third day and enjoyed sitting in
the observation room, watching the passing stars. Beverly hedged
whenever he asked how he came to be injured; Acryops was waiting
until the Captain was strong enough. That time came when he started
to nag about being released from Sickbay.
Jean-Luc was seated beside his bed reading when Acryops and Beverly
came in to see him. He closed the book and smiled at his visitors,
but soon felt their sombre mood.
His voice recovering well, he said softly…
"What is it?"
Beverly sat on his bed and gathered her thoughts.
"Jean-Luc you have been asking me how it is you were injured.
I have brought Acryops here to help you to remember what happened."
Jean-Luc frowned and shook his head.
"I don't recall being injured at all. The last thing I remember
is beaming down to the planet with Acryops. That fall you mentioned
must have damaged my head. Perhaps I hit it…?"
"No Jean-Luc you didn't hit your head, in fact there was
no fall. I told you that to allay your concerns. What happened
is far more sinister."
"What then? What happened to me?"
The Dellarite moved to stand behind the Captain and placed his
hands around Jean-Luc's head.
"Captain Picard I am going to use a technique used to retrieve
hidden memories. You may experience some pain, but please, try
to relax and cooperate with me. It will be difficult if you resist."
Uneasy, Jean-Luc looked up at Beverly to find her smiling at him.
"It's alright Jean-Luc, I'll be here."
He swallowed and took a big breath then relaxed his body.
Acryops leaned forward until his brow touched Jean-Luc's head
and began to softly chant. Jean-Luc found the mantra lulling and
soon found his mind drifting. As Acryop's hands tightened on his
head, he suddenly felt the presence of another in his mind. He
rebelled instantly, his body tensing and his mental shields coming
up. Deep in his mind he heard a voice.
"No Captain you must relax. I will not hurt you…let
me in."
Jean-Luc tried to shake his head but the Dellarite's grip was
too tight.
"No! Get out!"
"Captain I must do this. You have buried memories that will
eventually harm you. Permit me entry to your mind."
"I won't…I can't!"
Pain bloomed in his head and he groaned deeply.
Still with his eyes tightly closed and his head connected to Jean-Luc,
Acryops called to Beverly.
"Sedate him!"
Jean-Luc never heard the hiss of the hypospray but his body slumped
in the chair. Taking advantage, Acryops renewed his efforts.
"Captain Picard relax…it's not hard, just let me in."
"No…I… wait, stop…please I don't want…"
As his barriers fell he sensed the complete infiltration of Acryop's
power. He was everywhere; in everything…there was no more
Jean-Luc.
"That's it Captain just rest now and let me help you. I give
you my word, I will not harm you."
"Yes."
"Good. Now you remember beaming down to the planet with me?"
"Yes."
"What happened then?"
"I don't know."
The presence intensified and pain skittered around his mind.
"Yes you do Captain…what happened?"
"I…I met with Udrom…he took us to…quarters."
"Yes, that's right. We had a room each and some time on our
hands. What did you do?"
Jean-Luc frowned and began to sweat slightly.
"I…laid out my things…and I…I rested."
"Good, very good. Did you rest long?"
"No…the door bell rang."
"Who was it?"
"NO! I mustn't tell!"
"It's alright Captain you can tell me…nothing will happen,
I promise."
"I…no you will hurt her. I must stop you."
"Not me Captain…another man. I am here to help you.
Tell me, who was it?"
"It was…it was Nerella."
"She was from the alliance?"
"Yes…how do you know?"
"Tell me what happened."
"She told me of their struggle and asked me to abandon the
talks. She left and I didn't know what to do."
"I see. What did you decide to do?"
"I went to see you. You were injured! There was blood and
I…someone else was there. They had a weapon and I was injected
with a drug."
"Yes, sleep took you. Where were you when you woke up?"
Jean-Luc stiffened and Beverly noted an increased heart and respiratory
rate.
"There was pain…oh God there was pain everywhere. I'm
tied to a pole…I can't stand up. My head aches badly…I'm
sick."
"Is there anyone else there?"
"No…yes! He douses me with water and hits me. He asks
me who came to see me. I think of a wall."
"That was very brave Captain."
"I have to protect her."
"Then what?"
"He puts something on my head and it gives me shocks…terrible
pain. The wall begins to crumble but I rebuild it. He's angry.
He attaches another device on my spine. The pain is excruciating
and I pass out. Can we stop now?"
"No Captain…Jean-Luc…there is more, isn't there?"
"Yes."
"Tell me."
"When I wake up I imagine the wall. It infuriates him and
he puts another device on my testicles. I can't stand the pain…it's
too much. I'm sick again and he cuts me loose and puts me in a
chair. There are more people there; they hit me…they don't
stop until I'm almost unconscious. He shocks me again and the
wall falls. I think of Beverly. He is curious. They beat me again
and I feel my bones break."
"You still fought him?"
"Yes…I had to."
"What did he do Jean-Luc?"
"The beating stopped and he gripped my head. He pushed himself
into my mind and I couldn't stop him. The pain was overwhelming
and I saw a bright light, then everything was calm and he was
gone."
"Is there anything else?"
"No. My next memory is you…in my mind…then Sickbay
and Beverly."
"The man who assaulted you is called Bleck and he, along
with the two who beat you, are confined to your brig. When you
wake up you will feel violated and distressed. It is very important
for you to remember that it is over; that you are safe and recovering
aboard you ship and that the woman you love is with you. Is there
anything else?"
"No…will you leave now?"
"Yes Jean-Luc I will leave, but you will remember."
Acryops slowly withdrew from Jean-Luc's mind and a calm descended,
the lingering pain banished. He slipped into a deep sleep, untroubled
by dreams.

 

 

 

 

Beverly had two orderlies place Jean-Luc in his
bed and, once she was certain he was resting peacefully, left
to join Acryops in her office.
"How did it go?"
"It went well. As I suspected he is a man of great fortitude.
He withstood his assault with courage and determination…a
lesser man would have succumbed."
"What is his prognosis? Does he remember what they did to
him?"
"Yes, sadly he recalls it all. He will be traumatised and
will require professional help. I take it you have appropriate
staff…?"
"Of course. The trouble with Jean-Luc is getting him to talk
about it. He tries so hard to keep things to himself, he tends
to withdraw."
"Well Doctor I don't need to tell you how important therapy
will be for him. Who will do it?"
"Counsellor Troi. She's helped him in the past…he trusts
her."
"Good. I will go to my quarters now Doctor, I'm somewhat
fatigued."
"As you wish Acryops. I…I want to thank you for what
you've done."
"Not at all Doctor, I'm glad I could help."

 

 

It was late in the night when he woke. At first he
lay quietly, calmly listening to the quiet sounds of Sickbay,
until he began to feel uneasy. There was something bothering him,
it was on the periphery of his mind but when he tried to focus
on it, it slithered away. He sighed and turned over and, as he
made himself comfortable, the realisation came crashing in on
him. He sat bolt upright and shouted…
"NO! NOOOOO!"
Beverly came at the run. She burst into his room and ordered the
lights half up. He was holding his head, sobbing in despair. She
attempted to embrace him but he shrugged out of her arms. He fled
the bed and raced into the bathroom, disappearing into the toilet.
When Beverly reached him, he was kneeling at the bowl retching
piteously. She retrieved a wet towel and eased him back, wiping
his sweating face and dabbing at his tears.
He lowered his head onto her shoulder and gasped, his breath hiccupping.
"It's over Jean-Luc, you're safe now, and they can't hurt
you any more."
His arms embraced her as he strove for control. After a while
she heard his deep voice.
"Why Beverly? Why did it happen again?… Why me? Why
do these things continue to happen to me?"
Beverly began to rock him gently and stroke his trembling back.
"I don't know Jean-Luc…it's so unfair."

 

 

 

 

Almost an hour later, Beverly, Deanna and Jean-Luc
were in his room, talking quietly.
"Counsellor…Deanna with all due respect…I don't
want to talk about it right now. Later perhaps…"
"No captain now is the most important time. Do you have a
complete memory of what happened to you?"
He nodded, not trusting his voice.
"Tell me."
He glanced at Beverly and caught her nod. Facing Deanna, he took
a large breath and, haltingly at first, then with more confidence,
told her of his experiences at the hands of Bleck and his cronies.
When he finished, he lay back on the pillows and let the tears
roll unhindered down his face. There was silence in the room as
the two women digested the horrors he had spoken of.
Beverly, wiping at tears of her own, sat on the bed and took him
into her arms. He embraced her tightly, drawing strength from
her.
Deanna waited until he found himself and gently cleared her throat.
When she had his attention she assessed his mood.
Though obviously upset, the seeds of his recovery were already
taking hold. He was angry and felt the dreadful helplessness of
violation, yet he still exuded the determination to face what
had happened. She had an idea.
"Captain are you aware that Bleck is in the brig?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to see him?"
Shock was the first emotion she felt from him, followed by the
more base need for revenge.
"Can I take a phaser?"
"No Sir, I don't think that would be advisable."
"Perhaps not but it would make me feel a whole lot better
to vaporise him."
Deanna's laughter eased the tension.
"I'm sure Sir, however I have something a little more therapeutic
in mind."
"You want me to face my demons…is that it?"
"In a way. I was present at his interrogation. I believe
he feels genuine remorse for what he did to you Sir. It might
help for you to hear that for yourself."
"And when did you envisage this taking place?"
"What about in the morning, after breakfast?"
"Well Counsellor as always I will be guided by your expertise,
though I'm not completely sure I agree with you. I will however,
accede to your wishes."
Deanna stood over her commanding officer and smiled down at him.
"Thank you Captain. I'll see you in the morning."
The doors sighed open and she left. Beverly looked carefully at
Jean-Luc and ran her fingers gently down his face.
"How do you feel? Do you think you can sleep?"
He pursed his lower lip and shook his head.
"No, but that doesn't mean you should loose any sleep. Go
back to your quarters Beverly, I'll be fine."
It was Beverly's turn to shake her head.
"Nup, I think I'll stay here, if you don't mind and seeing
as how were both so wide awake, how about a game of Backgammon?"
They were still playing when the day shift came on duty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc felt the first stirrings of trepidation
as they neared the holding cells. They stopped out of the range
of the door sensors and he ran his hands over his thighs nervously.
Deanna clasped a hand on his arm and said softly,
"It's alright Captain, he can't hurt you."
Jean-Luc looked down at the Counsellor and mustered a wan smile.
Although not feeling particularly brave, he garnered his courage
and stepped forward, activating the doors.
Bleck was lying on his bunk and came to his feet when he heard
the door. Jean-Luc walked to within a few centimetres of the force
field and stared at his tormentor.
Bleck stared back, his cold pink eyes appraising the Captain.
Bleck stepped back and folded his arms.
"You look different."
Jean-Luc said nothing, just continued to stare.
"You are attempting to shield your thoughts. Why?"
"The reading of another's thoughts is considered among Humans
to be an invasion of privacy."
"I can't help my natural abilities. It's how I communicate."
"I disagree. You 'communicate' by torturing those who are
helpless."
Bleck dropped his arms and lifted his chin.
"I was doing my superior's bidding! Surely you of all people
understand the chain of command?"
"I understand you drugged me, attached devices to my body
with the sole purpose of inflicting pain, beat me and when all
that failed to get you what you wanted, you violated my mind in
an invasive procedure that left me brain damaged. If that is the
result of your 'chain of command' then I don't understand it at
all."
"Why did you resist? It would have been so much easier if
you had just told me what I wanted to know."
"And let others become your prey? I don't think so. Let me
ask you…why the intrascanning? You must have known it would
damage me."
Bleck turned and sat on his bunk, pulling one foot up.
"To be honest Captain I didn't know. I'd never had a Human
subject before. I didn't want to do it but I was under orders.
We were running out of time and my superiors felt it was the only
way we were going to get the information we sought. For what it's
worth, I'm sorry I did that to you."
"But not sorry for torturing me?"
"I was doing my job."
"You disgust me."
"That's not all Captain. Given the chance…you would
do me harm. Are we so different?"
Jean-Luc turned on his heel and left, the two women following
him. He marched out into the corridor and didn't stop until he
reached his quarters. Pausing briefly to watch the women enter,
he scowled and went to the replicator to order himself an Earl
Grey.
"Must you stay? I would appreciate some privacy!"
"Captain what are you feeling right now?"
Jean-Luc brusquely placed the cup on the desk and began to pace
around the room.
"What do I feel? I feel angry…livid. That bastard is
right. I would tear him limb from limb if I had the opportunity.
Maybe he's got it right. Perhaps we are alike."
"Captain he tried the same thing with Will. It's perfectly
natural to be angry after what you've been through, but I honestly
don't believe you would harm him. Feelings of revenge are normal.
That will give way to calmer emotions when you've had a chance
to process what has happened to you. Captain people like Bleck
are trained to bring out emotions in their captives. Having the
ability to read thoughts gives him an advantage you can't defend
against, at least not under normal circumstances. Allow yourself
your feelings but don't dwell on them, they will not overpower
you."
Jean-Luc stopped his pacing and sighed expansively. Lowering his
head, he let his shoulders drop and did his best to ease the tension
in his body.
"Thank you Counsellor. I will keep that in mind."
Deanna stood and made for the door. At the threshold she turned.
"I'll see you this afternoon Sir."
He nodded and she left. Beverly took his arm and guided him to
the sofa. When they were both seated, she wriggled in behind him
and started to massage his shoulders.
"Hmm that's good."
"Shh no talking, just relax."
He allowed his head to nod forward, his hands resting between
his knees. Beverly coaxed his muscles into relaxing, the most
reluctant needing her thumbs to win the battle. As his tension
eased, her massage took on a more sensual action, the kneading
becoming caresses. She moved to one side and cupped his chin with
her hand. What she found took her breath away.
He looked at her with undisguised love. Not shielding it, not
glancing away, just a quiet contemplation of her with tear filled
hazel eyes. She leaned slowly forward and brushed her lips over
his. He closed his eyes and sighed. She kissed him again, lingering
on his lips until he started to respond. Gently, he slid his lips
over hers sensuously, his hands creeping up to tangle in her vibrant
red hair. It was her turn to sigh.
Her eyes drifted closed and he quested with his tongue, requesting
admittance. She opened to him slowly, tenderly meeting his tongue
with hers. The kiss deepened and she felt her desire rising. Starting
as a heat low in her groin, it rose and bloomed over her body
making her moan softly into his mouth.
He gently pulled back and held her face in his hands. In a deep
whisper he said,
"I love you Beverly Crusher, I have loved you nearly half
of my life."
Her tears welled and slipped down her cheeks. He took the tears
in his fingers and smiled tenderly.
"No my love, don't cry. Now is not the time for sadness."
She sighed and kissed the tip of his nose.
"I'm not sad my beloved, in fact I'm happy. It's just that
I've wasted so much time. I should have told you…"
"Shh. You've told me now, at least I think you have…"
Beverly chuckled softly.
"Oh Jean-Luc…for the record, I love you, with every
fibre of my being, and I too have loved you for a very long time."
His lips descended on hers again and he kissed her with all the
love he could feel. When his hand gently cupped her breast she
didn't resist, in fact she moaned again. Emboldened, he kneaded
the breast and when the nipple rose, he tweaked it and laid her
back on the sofa.
When they were both lying with each other, Beverly snaked one
hand between them and ran her fingers up the inside of his thigh.
He sighed but when she gently caressed him through his trousers,
he suddenly broke the kiss and sat up.
"Jean-Luc?"
He looked down at himself and frowned deeply.
"Something's wrong."
"What is it?"
"I'm not…that is I haven't got an…I don't understand
this. I've waited, I've fantasised about this for so long…and
I can't get an erection?"
He was becoming angry and Beverly strove to allay his pique.
"Jean-Luc, it's alright…"
"Alright? I don't think so Beverly…"
"No you don't understand. You know those devices Bleck placed
on your body? Well they caused some nerve damage. All those regen
treatments you've been having restored the damage in your legs.
It went so well; we thought you didn't need to know just yet.
I was hoping that the nerves to your genitals would have been
repaired also."
"You were hoping? When were you going to tell me? How long
have you known?"
"We've known since you were first brought aboard and…"
"We?"
"Doctor Selar and I."
"How did you find out?"
Beverly reddened slightly and moved to take his hand.
"Really Jean-Luc that's…"
"How?"
"I put a stimulator on you penis and it failed to achieve
an erection."
"And you knew all this time…and Selar knows."
Beverly nodded, not knowing quite what to say.
"I think you'd better leave."
"Jean-Luc…"
"Now Beverly, I want to be alone."
Beverly rose and had one more go at reaching him.
"Please Jean-Luc, let me explain…"
He shook his head brusquely and stepped to the door, his head
lowered.
As Beverly passed him she paused, but he didn't acknowledge her.
As the doors sighed closed she found herself out in the corridor.
"Damn!"
Her next move was to enquire of the computer as to the whereabouts
of Deanna Troi.

 

 

 

 

 

That afternoon the Captain did not show up for his
appointment. Deanna wasn't surprised.
"Computer, location of Captain Picard?"
"Captain Picard is in his quarters."
Armed with this information, Deanna left her office.
Jean-Luc was standing at the viewports of his living area when
the door annunciator went off.
"Computer, who is at my door?"
"Counsellor Deanna Troi."
His face hardened and his hands made fists at his sides. Raising
his voice slightly he called out,
"I don't wish to have visitors thank you Counsellor."
Deanna closed her eyes and sighed. She lifted her head and addressed
her superior.
"I know that Captain, but I think you would be better served
by letting me in."
"I don't think so."
"Captain I will use my override if I have to. Please let
me in."
There was silence for a while, followed by a barked,
"Come!"
Still off duty, he stood stiffly in civilian clothes, his anger
radiating from him.
"Captain…"
"Counsellor I am aware that, by now, you will have talked
with Doctor Crusher. I don't want to discuss it, I don't want
to analyse it and I don't want to see you! Your presence here
is unnecessary and I would appreciate it if you would leave…now."
"Captain I understand your reluctance to…"
"Counsellor!"
"No Captain hear me out. After everything else that's happened
to you recently, you find that, after harbouring deep feelings
for Beverly all these years, you can't consummate the relationship.
It must be devastating for you and I do understand."
He sighed expansively and put his hands in his pockets. Turning
his back on the Counsellor, he stared out at the stars. Deanna
stepped quietly up to him and rubbed her hand over his shoulder.
"Come on Captain, sit down and I'll get you a cup of tea."
Eventually he turned his head and regarded the patient Counsellor.
Knowing she wouldn't go away, he sighed and took a seat on the
sofa.
Having retrieved the tea, she sat in the chair nearby and watched
as he sipped the fragrant brew. Judging the moment carefully,
she spoke softly.
"How do you feel right now?"
He looked up and glared, then relented and pursed his lips.
"Angry…betrayed…humiliated…worried…"
"Alright, let's deal with the anger first. What are you angry
about?"
He was silent so long Deanna thought she would have to prompt
him, but finally he sighed.
"I'm angry that it happened. On top of everything else…it's
just too much. I'm angry that Beverly didn't tell me, it was not
the ideal way to find out and I'm angry that I can't do anything
about it. Yet again I have to shut up and bear the unbearable."
"You certainly don't have to 'shut up'…"
"Don't I? I have no say in my treatment! I just show up and
do as I'm told. No one asks me if I mind, or if I can cope…I
simply acquiesce."
"Alright I'll grant you that. What about betrayal?"
"She didn't tell me! She let me wander around the ship thinking
everything was all right. I had no idea my legs had been damaged
and I certainly didn't know that she'd tested my genital response
in Sickbay…in front of Selar!"
"So you see that as a betrayal of trust?"
"Yes!"
"Captain did you know that Beverly was on the away team that
recovered you from the planet?"
He looked up, his eyebrows rising.
"No."
"Well she was. When she got to you she could detect no synaptic
activity in your brain. None Captain. As far as she was concerned,
you were irretrievably brain damaged. She had you transported
up to the ship and spent hours repairing your physical injuries.
When she discovered the nerve damage, she asked her staff to leave,
except for Selar, and tested your responses as best she could.
Under the circumstances do you think she should have acted differently?"
Somewhat chagrined, he stared at his toes.
"No, I suppose not."
"She wanted you to be stronger, more balanced mentally before
she gave you the full report on you injuries. Remember you'd just
recovered devastating memories and confronting Bleck. I think
she was trying to spare you more anguish. Of all the people on
this ship, she would be the least likely to betray you."
He nodded and rubbed his face with his large hands.
"Ok, what about humiliation?"
"I see that my feelings of humiliation in regard to the test
are unfounded but, as a man, it was embarrassing to discover my…inadequacy…
as I did. I wanted nothing more in this universe than to…"
"I understand Captain, but surely you realise that, with
treatment, this condition will pass? And if I know Beverly, the
opportunity will present itself again."
He reddened somewhat and clasped his hands on his crossed knee.
"Well that takes care of 'worry'. I trust Beverly will remedy
the situation…it is, after all, in her best interests."
Deanna laughed, glad that the Captain could find some humour in
his embarrassment.
"So tell me Captain, present difficulties aside, how do you
feel about Bleck now?"
Jean-Luc sat back and put one arm along the back of the sofa.
"I don't understand people like him. He's like Madred…completely
unconcerned about what they're doing to their victims. He only
expressed remorse over what he did to me mentally because he was
unfamiliar with Humans. It was almost an afterthought."
"Captain you have to remember these people are a direct result
of the circumstances in which they live. They know no different.
Madred and Bleck have been cultivated to perform for their masters.
I'm not apologising for them, but we have to accept that people
like them exist. All we can do is try and destroy them when we
find them."
"And not get caught by them."
That brought a small smile.
"Yes Sir."
"You know at first, when he was trying to get the information,
I thought of a wall. Every time I felt it crumbling, I rebuilt
it. But when things got really bad, all I could think of was Beverly.
She was my last coherent thought. She saved me Deanna."
Deanna got up and seated herself next to him. Taking his hand,
she looked into his eyes.
"Talk to her Captain, she's very worried about you."
He smiled and nodded.
"I will."
"Alright, I'll leave you now. If you have trouble sleeping
ask for help and if you have any nightmares…"
"I'll call Beverly."
"I was going to say me, but Beverly will do. Good afternoon
Captain."
He bade her farewell and sat back. Sighing, he knew he had some
bridges to mend.

 

 

 

Beverly was studying her computer terminal when
she became aware she was being watched. Looking up, she was delighted
to see the identity of her voyeur.
"Hello Jean-Luc."
He stepped into her office and produced, from behind his back,
a single long stemmed red rose. He smiled at her gently and said
softly,
"I'm sorry Beverly. Can we start again?"
She accepted the rose and twirled it under her nose, taking in
the delicious scent.
Making sure none of her staff were in earshot, she giggled and
waved her hand.
"Sit down my love, we have to talk."
He sat and, as was his custom, crossed his legs elegantly.
"Ok. First up I'm sorry I wasn't more forthcoming with you.
You had every right to know…"
He held up his hand and shook his head.
"No Beverly, it's alright. I understand."
She smiled at him and continued.
"I appreciate your forgiveness Jean-Luc, but I am sorry.
It won't happen again. Now, would you like to know the full extent
of your injuries?"
He nodded and she began.
"We'll start with your bones. You had numerous breaks to
the bones of your hands. Your shoulders were severely damaged,
as you already know, and you had displaced fractures in both tibias.
Both patellas were dislocated. There were several breaks to the
bones in you feet as well. Your nose was broken, three teeth dislodged
and there was a hairline fracture of the right eye socket. You
had three broken ribs on the right, two on the left and your right
clavicle was shattered. Your internal injuries were just as extensive.
Damaged kidneys, bruised liver and stomach, contused lung, torn
pancreas and ruptured larynx. Then there was the nerve damage.
The device in you head was directly connected to your brain. There
was some residual swelling around the meninges but we were able
to treat that. The damage to your spine was successfully remedied
by the regen treatments and all that remains is the damage to
your genitals. I would expect that, with appropriate treatment,
that too will be healed."
"And what constitutes 'appropriate treatment'?"
"Hopefully just extensive regen therapy."
"Hopefully?"
Beverly leaned forward and reached for his hand. He uncrossed
his legs and gave her his hand as she smiled lopsidedly.
"If the regen treatments don't work, we'll have to try electro
stimulation."
"I see. I'm not going to like that am I?"
"No Jean-Luc you're not, but let's not cross that particular
bridge 'til we get to it eh? I'm sure the regen therapy will work
just fine."
"So when do we start?"
"Right now!"
He frowned and reddened slightly.
"Ah Beverly…how private can we keep this?"
"Very private…we're going to do it in your quarters."
He sighed with relief and followed Beverly out into Sickbay proper.
Beverly turned to him and smiled.
"You go to your cabin. I'll get what I need here and meet
you in about ten minutes. Ok?"
He nodded and left, feeling much better.

 

 

 

 

When his door chime sounded he bade her entry with
a smile on his face. She was carrying some equipment so he stepped
forward to help her.
"Take it into your bedroom Jean-Luc. We'll set it up there."
They moved into the bedroom, placing the equipment on the bed.
"Go and strip down to your briefs while I get things ready
here."
He soon returned to find the apparatus set up on his bed.
"Ok lie down with your legs apart. Good. Now put your head
on the pillows and relax, this won't hurt."
She aligned the regenerator between his legs, angled the head,
aimed it at his groin and turned it on. It hummed gently and bathed
the room in a pleasant blue glow.
"How's that?"
"It's warm…rather pleasant."
"I'm using quite a strong field. With luck, if we do this
three times a day for four days, we should get the desired result."
"Are you making fun of me?"
Beverly laughed and lay down beside him.
"No my love, no pun intended. I want you better…and
soon!"
"I too wish to be…what is it Data says?…fully functional."
Beverly chuckled before kissing him tenderly. He tried to deepen
the kiss but she pulled back, placing her hand on his chest.
"Oh no you don't! You behave yourself or I'll Have Selar
do these treatments."
He harrumphed but settled back on the pillows with a rare full
grin gracing his handsome features. Beverly was delighted.

 

 

 

 

As promised, he had the regen treatments over the next
four days, but Beverly was disappointed after her enquiries.
"So this morning…when you woke up…you didn't have
a…?"
He frowned and shook his head.
"No. And I haven't since I came back aboard."
"I see."
"What is it? Have the treatments failed?"
"I'm not sure. Jean-Luc I'm going to put a stimulator band
on your…well, you know."
He reddened somewhat, but nodded. Fortunately still in the privacy
of his quarters, Beverly retrieved the device and instructed him
how to attach it and where. When he was ready, she remotely activated
it, waited a few moments then asked,
"How is it? Is it having any effect?"
His terse "No." spoke volumes.
"We'll try a higher setting."
A few more moments passed before she enquired,
"Anything?"
"There's a slight reaction, but not what I'd call an erection."
Beverly shut off her control and sighed. Allowing Jean-Luc the
privacy to divest himself of the device, she waited for him in
the living area. He entered tying his robe.
"So Beverly…what now?"
"I'm afraid we need to take a more aggressive approach."
"And that is?"
"Electro stimulation of the nerves."
"What will that entail?"
"Well it will have to be done in Sickbay…I'm sorry Jean-Luc…but
I'll ensure your privacy. It involves feeding hair-thin wires
directly into the main nerve trunks and stimulating them with
low current. It will be…uncomfortable for you, but we can
offer pain relief."
"I see. Will it work?"
Beverly came to him and led him to the sofa. Having seated them
both, she took his hand.
"Provided the nerves haven't been irreparably damaged. If
that proves to be the case, I'll clone you some new nerves. Either
way we will repair this Jean-Luc, it just may take a little time."
He nodded thoughtfully and looked down at their joined hands.
"When…?"
"This afternoon, after you've seen Deanna. There are a few
things I need to set up, one thing though…I will need Selar's
help Jean-Luc. It's simply not something I can do alone."
He grimaced and frowned, closing his eyes. Beverly released his
hand and tenderly ran her fingers down the side of his face.
"Jean-Luc?"
Without opening his eyes, he raised his arms and enfolded her
into his embrace. She buried her head in his neck and wound her
arms around his chest. He breathed in deeply, infusing his senses
with her scent. His kisses to her hair caused her to lift her
head. He opened his eyes and they stared at each other, the love
and desire clearly evident. He leaned forward and kissed her gently
and she fell into his kiss headlong. It started breathily but
soon deepened into an expression of unbridled passion. His tongue
entered her mouth and duelled with hers sensuously. The blush
of arousal soon coloured her alabaster skin as her heart skipped
in her chest. When he cupped her breast, she moaned wantonly into
his mouth. His free hand went to the closure at the back of her
uniform and the fastener slid open. He gently pulled the material
down her shoulders and she freed her arms so he could slide the
sleeves off her. Now his hands could caress her through the lace
of her bra. Her nipples stood erect, pushing against the fabric
as his fingers found then gently pinched them. She arched her
back and held his head as he kissed her. He slowly eased her back
onto the sofa and she swung her legs up. He lay beside her, his
hand kneading her breasts. Breaking the kiss, he mouthed along
her jaw, her skin burning wherever he touched. Down her neck,
he plundered her skin as his hands relieved her of her bra. The
garment fell unnoticed to the floor as the skin of his hands skimmed
over the heated flash of her breasts. With his palms, he circled
the straining nipples as his mouth moved closer. Taking the breasts
in his hands, his mouth descended on first one, then the other
swollen nub.
Beverly's breath hissed through her teeth as he grazed her nipples
with his tongue. He sucked her further into the heat of his mouth
and nipped at her gently, before again suckling strongly. She
moaned and arched up to him as his hand drifted down her belly
to push the uniform down her lithe body. She helped him by lifting
her hips, then her legs one at a time, until the uniform was gathered
at her feet.
Jean-Luc's mouth left her then and he stood. He moved to her feet,
doffed her socks and shoes, then pulled the uniform from her legs.
He removed his robe and briefs and gently draped himself over
her, kissing her deeply.
Although unable to attain an erection, he still felt passion and
desire for the woman he loved. He broke the kiss and lapped his
way back to her breasts, teasing and arousing.
Beverly had no idea why he was doing this, but she revelled in
his attentions. Her body was an instrument he was playing like
a maestro. Every touch, every caress inflamed her, increasing
her need. As he masterfully suckled her breasts, she held his
head, pressing him to her, silently asking for more.
His hand slid down her flank to her thigh. Using feather-like
touches, he encouraged her to part her legs and dallied in the
copper curls covering her mons. Beverly moaned and lifted her
hips, inviting him to touch her intimately for the first time.
He did not disappoint her. With one thick finger, he traced her
outline, then gently slid the digit the length of her. Her body
quivered. Again and again he slid his finger over her engorged
clitoris and probed her entrance, coating his hand in her dew.
His mouth released her breast and his head slipped free of her
grasp. Kissing his way down the flat plain of her stomach, he
drank in her aroma, her unique scent.
Kneeling between her legs, he watched as he slowly inserted his
finger into her heat, feeling her contract around him, letting
his imagination furnish how it would feel around his penis.
With his free hand he opened her labia and saw her throbbing pearl.
He leaned forward slowly and, very gently, feathered his tongue
over it.
Beverly writhed and gasped, sensuously bearing down on his pistoning
finger. He introduced a second finger and began to curl the fingers
internally as he thrust them. Increasing the pressure of his tongue,
she began to jerk rhythmically as he lapped at her.
"Oh God Jean-Luc…yes…yes…more, just a little
more…"
He smiled and he allowed his mouth to fully engulf her. His tongue
swirled over her clitoris as his fingers slothfully pushed in
and out of her. Her hips rose and fell in time with him and she
began to moan continuously. She released a sudden flow of lubricant
and her body started to flex.
Jean-Luc suddenly sucked the clitoris into his mouth and grazed
it with his teeth and his fingers quickly plunged into her.
Her body bowed up from the sofa as the climax surged through her.
She shrieked his name as her hands clenched the cushions under
her head, but he wasn't finished. Maintaining the suction on the
turgid pearl, he feathered his tongue over it firmly while his
fingers continued to plunge in and out of her.
A second, then abruptly a third orgasm manifested before he slowly
reduced his ministrations and allowed her to recover.
As she lay panting and moaning his name, he slid his fingers free
and kissed her labia tenderly. He stretched out beside her and
waited patiently for her to regain her senses.
Her eyes eventually opened and she sighed expansively. She turned
onto her side and cuddled into his embrace, kissing him languidly.
Jean-Luc allowed his hand to trail along her side and back, idly
drawing random patterns on her heated skin.
Blissfully, Beverly raised her head and looked at her lover.
"Oh God Jean-Luc…I needed that, thank you my love."
"My pleasure."
"Did it help?"
"Not physically, but mentally it was something I've thought
about doing for years."
Beverly chuckled and kissed him again.
"I think we better get you fixed up as soon as possible…I've
some fantasies of my own."
"Have you now? Care to enlighten me?"
Beverly blushed and wrinkled her nose.
"No…but I will show you…soon I hope."
"In that case…I can't wait."
He kissed her once, then again before drawing back and looking
deeply into her eyes.
"I love you Beverly."
"And I you."

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc entered Deanna's off ice a much
happier man. Although mightily frustrated at his inability to
have penetrative sex with Beverly, he was nonetheless overjoyed
at being able to bring her pleasure. His confession about his
long held fantasy had liberated him and his body still resounded
with Beverly's passion.
Deanna sensed his mood immediately.
"Captain, come in. Would you like some tea?"
"Thank you Counsellor, that would be delightful."
Once they were seated with their drinks, Deanna centred herself.
"Captain I sense your happiness. Is it anything you want
to talk about?"
"Not really. Let's just say it's of a…personal nature."
"I see. Well I'm glad you're feeling better. Tell me, how
are you sleeping? Any nightmares?"
"I'm not sleeping all that well and yes, there's been nightmares."
"The torture? Bleck?"
"Yes. I'm back in the room and he's holding the control to
the transponders. I'm begging him to stop, but he just laughs
and presses the buttons. Sometimes…sometimes it's not me
who feels the pain though."
"Oh? Who does then?"
Lowering his head, he whispers…
"Beverly."
"I see. Captain do you remember telling me that the last
coherent thought you had was of Beverly? That she saved you?"
"Yes."
"Well I think your subconscious is allowing her to save you
again by taking the pain for you. It's not an uncommon manifestation
in cases such as yours. I wouldn't dwell on it.
What do you do when you're woken by a nightmare?"
"That depends. If it's a bad one I call Beverly and we sit
and talk…or read…just having her there is enough to
dispel the fear."
"But you don't go back to bed?"
"No, sleep is no longer possible."
"I would like you to consider a technique you've used in
the past…directed dreaming. You need your sleep Captain.
It may help."
He nodded and smiled.
"Have you given any more thought to Bleck? How do you feel
about him now?"
Jean-Luc sighed and shook his head.
"I still don't understand him…I don't think I ever will.
How can a being inflict such pain on another and feel nothing?
I understand what he did and why he did it…but still…it
saddens me that such creatures exist."
"And your feeling of violence towards him?"
"Abating, although there are times…"
"Understandable Captain. Will says that the Federation will
allow him and his cohorts to be tried for abduction and torture,
but Udrom will escape prosecution. We can't apprehend him; we
have no jurisdiction on the planet."
"I expected as much. I've submitted my report to Starfleet,
now they know about the true situation on the planet, I doubt
we'll be having any more contact with them."
"How do you feel about that?"
"Somewhat frustrated. I would've liked to sort the problems
out diplomatically, at least give the alliance an equal voice,
but like so much more about the Arellians, we'll just have to
turn a blind eye."
"Captain Beverly has told me about the more…aggressive
…therapy you have to undertake. I'm sorry."
"Yes…well that's something I'll have to overcome."
"Beverly said she was hopeful…"
"As am I Counsellor."
Sensing the Captain was withdrawing from the conversation, Deanna
brought the session to a close.
"Very well Captain, we'll finish for today. I'd like to see
you tomorrow afternoon."
Jean-Luc nodded and stood, pulling down on his shirt. He turned
to leave, but hesitated at the door. He looked over his shoulder
and smiled.
"Thank you Deanna."
The Counsellor smiled back and nodded.
"You're welcome Captain."

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc entered Sickbay somewhat reluctantly.
He wasn't at all sure he wanted to do this…but what choice
did he have? He trusted Beverly implicitly and if she said this
was the treatment he needed, then so be it. Still…wires,
electric shocks…he shuddered and his usually confident stride
faltered. Before he could lose courage, nurse Ogawa came to meet
him.
"Good afternoon Captain. Doctor Crusher is ready for you,
if you'll come with me?"
She led him into a suite of rooms off to one side. Beverly looked
up and smiled warmly at him and nodded to her nurse.
"Thank you Alyssa. Come in Jean-Luc."
He noted that Selar stood innocuously to one side, studying some
monitors. Jean-Luc summoned a smile for Beverly and stood quietly,
awaiting instructions.
"We'll leave you for a few minutes Captain. Please disrobe
completely and lie on the bed. You may cover yourself with the
blanket."
He nodded, his smile disappearing. Quickly shedding his clothes,
he folded them in a neat pile and picked up the blanket. Lying
back on the bed, he was just covering himself when Beverly returned.
She paused at the door.
"Are you decent? Can I come in?"
"Yes."
Beverly and Selar came in and busied themselves with setting up
their equipment. Beverly chose to update Jean-Luc.
"Now you know basically what we're going to do?"
"Yes. You're going to pass thin wires into the nerve trunk
and stimulate the area with mild electric shocks."
"Uh huh. As I've already told you, it will be uncomfortable
for you and there will be pain relief, but not until we have completed
the therapy."
"Why? Why not before?"
"Because we need your input. We need you to tell us where
you feel the impulses. If you have the analgesia too soon, you
won't be able to help us."
He closed his eyes and nodded. He felt Beverly's hand grip his
shoulder briefly and he opened his eyes to smile at her.
They were a few moments more calibrating the terminals before
Beverly spoke again.
"Well we're ready. How about you…are you ready?"
Not completely trusting his voice, Jean-Luc nodded.
Beverly folded the blanket up his legs up to his waist. He felt
the application of an antiseptic to four places in his groin,
then Beverly pulled a monitor closer to her. From a surgical tray
she picked up a thin wire and turned to him.
"Ok, I'm going to pass the first wire. You won't feel it
pierce the skin, but you will feel a pressure and maybe a jolt
when we puncture the nerve."
Jean-Luc felt Beverly lay her hand flat on his skin then felt
nothing. He was about to ask if she'd started when he did indeed
feel a pressure. It built to becoming uncomfortable when suddenly
there was a quick twinge as the wire entered the nerve.
Beverly watched the monitor intently as she sited the wire and,
when satisfied, looked up and smiled at the Captain.
"Ok? That's one…three to go."
He lay quietly as the subsequent wires were inserted and sited.
As with the first, the sensations were uncomfortable, but not
exactly painful.
"Good, they're all in place. Selar I want you to keep an
eye on the enzyme output. I don't want it to exceed ten point
two. Jean-Luc we're going to give you the first shock now…are
you ok?"
"Yes."
Beverly gave his hand under the blanket a quick squeeze then returned
her attention to her instruments.
"Right. Here we go."
Beverly flicked a switch and Jean-Luc cried out in pain. A terrible
burning sensation ran down his genitals and settled as a sharp
ache in his testicles.
"Where Jean-Luc? Where do you feel it most?"
Through gritted teeth, Jean-Luc gasped,
"My testicles."
Beverly stopped the power surge and watched the monitor as she
resited the wires.
She reactivated the instrument and again the Captain couldn't
contain the cry of pain that was wrenched from his throat. Gripping
the bed with all his strength, his back bowed and his legs flexed.
"Where now?"
"My penis and testicles!"
"Good! Hold on Jean-Luc, just a little longer…Selar
what's his heart rate?"
"It has risen eighteen percent and is still rising. Enzyme
output is at seven point four."
A sob was torn from the stricken man as Beverly slightly raised
the surge.
"Hold on Jean-Luc…hold on…there!"
She terminated the power and immediately took a moist cloth and
wiped his sweating, tear stained face. As Beverly comforted the
distressed Captain, Selar administered an analgesic and removed
the wires. She lowered the blanket and left quietly.
Jean-Luc raised shaking hands and covered his face, crying silently.
Beverly took him in her arms and held him tenderly.
"Shh Jean-Luc, it's over."
As the pain dissipated he slowly regained his composure and let
his head rest back on the pillow. In a rough whisper he said,
"How did it go?"
"Good, Jean-Luc…it was a good result. The very fact
that you felt so much pain shows that the nerves are still transmitting
properly."
He sighed and closed his eyes.
"So that's it then?"
When she didn't answer his eyes opened and he was treated to the
sight of his lover wiping tears from her lovely face.
She shook her head slowly.
"No my love. We will have to repeat it three, maybe four
more times. I'm so sorry Jean-Luc…"
He closed his eyes again and shook his head, while reaching for
her hand.
"It's not your fault. Will it get any easier?"
"No, I'm afraid not."
"Oh."
"Jean-Luc…"
"When…when will you…?"
"Over the next three or four days. We need to give the nerves
time to regenerate."
"So…once a day then?"
"Uh huh."
"I see. Can I go back to my quarters now? I'd like to rest,
if I may."
"Of course…do you want any help?"
"No, I'll be fine, thank you."
Beverly stood and looked down at him, feeling dreadful for having
to put him through such pain on top of what he'd already suffered.
She left him and waited outside. He soon appeared looking pale
with dark smudges under his eyes.
"Come on, I'll walk you to your cabin."
She linked arms with him and they walked slowly through the corridors,
neither one speaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Such was his dread the following day he
couldn't eat any breakfast. Already exhausted from a broken sleep
he sighed as Beverly remonstrated with him.
"But Jean-Luc you barely had any dinner last night! If you
don't eat breakfast your blood sugar levels will drop dangerously
low and…"
He held up his hand, stopping her mid flight.
"Beverly…I promise I will have something to eat after…well
I think you know."
Beverly huffed out a breath and considered arguing with him. Knowing
what was in store for him tempered her angst however and she gave
in.
"Well ok…but you promise? You will have something substantial
after the therapy?"
He nodded a small smile appearing disarming her completely.
They left his quarters and strolled to Sickbay, his steps slowing
as the approached.
Beverly squeezed his arm and whispered in his ear.
"It's ok Jean-Luc…it'll be over soon."
As he did the previous day, he entrusted himself to the only woman
he'd ever truly loved and, as it was before, the therapy was excruciatingly
painful. This time it was Beverly who gave him the painkiller
and he lay sobbing while it suffused his body.
He clung to her desperately, willing himself to regain control.
"Oh God Beverly…I can't…I can't do that again…"
"Shh my love…it's alright…you'll be alright in
a minute."
As the pain left him he sighed and relaxed, letting the tension
leave his tortured body. Beverly gently stroked his face and wiped
away his tears. When he looked up at her he felt his heart swell
with love. He took her hand and kissed her fingers, making her
chuckle.
"Feeling better?"
He sighed and nodded.
"Good. You get dressed now…you have a date with a plate
of food."
He sighed again and rolled his eyes. In truth, he wasn't at all
hungry…the last thing he wanted to do was eat.
"Beverly I will have something soon…just not quite yet,
alright?"
"But Jean-Luc you promised…"
"And I will uphold that promise…later."
Knowing what he'd just been through, Beverly acquiesced.
"Oh all right, but you make sure you have something decent…not
some snack!"
"Aye Sir!"
She laughed and slapped him on the arm.
"Well off you go then, I'll meet you after shift."
He returned to his quarters, rested for an hour then buried himself
in work. He didn't eat lunch or anything else. When Beverly called
at 1700 he was trapped as she requested he tell her what he'd
eaten.
"What did I have? Well let's see…I had…umm…chicken
salad with lemon sorbet afterwards…oh and a muffin with my
tea this afternoon."
"You! Eat a muffin?"
"Well I thought it appropriate."
"Ok I buy that. Now what will we have for dinner?"
"Actually Beverly I thought I'd just have some soup and a
bread roll and go to bed, I'm very tired."
She frowned, but didn't see through the deception.
"Ok, I'll see you in the morning then. Call me if you need
anything."
"I will."
As the doors sighed closed Jean-Luc closed his eyes and shook
his head.
"Forgive me Beverly…I'm just not hungry."
He did retire early, his empty stomach not troubling him in the
least. When the nightmare woke him later he was sweating heavily
and felt light headed. He rose shakily from his bed and staggered
to the bathroom to wash his face, but his legs went from under
him before he reached the door. He supported himself on all fours
as he shook his head.
"Steady Johnny…"
He grasped the doorframe and regained his feet. Taking a deep
breath he entered the bathroom and managed to wash his face. Sleep
now banished, he went to his desk and activated the computer.
Soon ensconced in ships business, he didn't notice the passage
of time until his door chime sounded hours later. Taking only
enough time to don a robe, he called to the visitor,
"Come."
Beverly breezed in and stopped dead in her tracks.
"Jean-Luc you look awful!"
"Good morning to you too Beverly."
She came to him and grasped his arm.
"You haven't shaved…and you're still in you pyjamas.
How long have you been up?"
He extricated his arm and moved to the replicator.
"Oh just an hour or so. Croissants?"
"Jean-Luc…"
"You set the table and I'll go wash up. I won't be long."
He was gone before she could say anything further. When he returned
he'd shaved and put on clean clothes, but he still looked dreadful.
He sat at the table and poured both of them a coffee while Beverly
pulled a steaming pastry apart. He watched her carefully as she
ate, waiting for the inevitable cross-examination. It soon came.
"You're not eating."
"I'm not hungry."
"Did you have a nightmare last night?"
He nodded.
"And you didn't call me?"
"It wasn't that bad."
"Did you get back to sleep?"
"No."
"What have you been doing?"
"Oh you know…a bit of reading…catching up on ship's
business."
"Did you eat dinner last night…the soup and roll?"
"Yes."
"Will you have something to eat after your therapy?"
"Of course. I just don't have much of an appetite before
hand…you understand."
She nodded thoughtfully and popped another morsel into her mouth,
washing it down with coffee.
"Jean-Luc…will you let me give you a physical after
your therapy?"
"Really Beverly…I don't think that's necessary. I'm
usually very tired afterwards, I'd just like to come here and
rest…if that's all right with you."
Knowing what was ahead of him, she sighed and shook her head.
"Well ok…but I'm concerned about you Jean-Luc, you look
terrible."
"Nothing a decent sleep wouldn't fix. Now, shall we go? I'd
like to get this over and done with."

 

 

 

 

Two hours later he was slowly dressing himself
after the agonising therapy. Beverly had assured him that only
one more treatment was required the following day, something for
which he was immensely grateful. As he buttoned his shirt she
came in and stood before him.
"What say we go to the lounge and have lunch?"
He smiled tiredly and shook his head.
"I'm afraid all I want to do is go and lie down for a while…I
hope you don't mind."
"Just a minute…"
Beverly produced a tricorder and was just taking the probe from
its casing when she was suddenly called by Alyssa Ogawa.
"Doctor Crusher we need you here, a crewman has come in from
engineering with serious plasma burns."
Beverly looked hard at Jean-Luc, turned on her heel and left.
He took the opportunity to make his escape and was soon back in
his quarters. He rested for a while then went down to Engineering
to find out what had caused the accident. He didn't eat.
That night Beverly was required to deliver twins and didn't finish
in Sickbay until 0330. She asked the computer if the Captain was
asleep and received a positive response. Happy, she went to her
own quarters, showered and crawled into bed, sleep claiming her
immediately.
Seventeen minutes after the computer checked on him, he woke screaming
in terror.
The next morning she slept in and went straight to Sickbay. When
the Captain came in at the appointed time she gasped when she
saw him. Pale and gaunt, he almost shuffled into his room and
listlessly listened to Beverly as she explained that they would
test his responses after this treatment. He nodded and Beverly
left him to undress.
When she came back in, he was lying with his eyes closed, but
opened them when she squeezed his shoulder.
"Ok Jean-Luc…last one. Are you ready?"
He nodded and the trial began.
He didn't know how he got through it. As he lay writhing in agony,
his mind began to close off. The hiss of the hypospray brought
him out of his stupor and, as soon as he could, he sat up and
rested his head on his raised knees.
Beverly wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rubbed her cheek
against his face.
"You stay put. I want to scan you."
She turned to retrieve a tricorder, but he didn't seem to have
heard her. He swung his legs off the bed and stood on trembling
legs, reaching for his clothes. He noted with curiosity that everything
seemed to be turning black and white. His legs folded under him
and he crashed to the floor, hitting his head solidly on the table
as he went.
"Jean-Luc!"
As she rushed to his aid she called for help.
"Selar! Alyssa! Come quickly!"
The two officers came into the room to find Beverly crouched down
next to the Captain, stemming blood flowing from a head wound.
"Help me get him onto the bed."
They gently lifted the stricken man and Beverly scanned him with
a tricorder.
"No fracture, just a nasty gash. Selar hand me an autosuture."
Beverly closed the wound with the instrument then consulted the
tricorder again.
"Blood sugar has bottomed out…my God he hasn't eaten
for days! What the hell…?"
Beverly, realising the Captain was naked, quickly covered him
with a blanket. She then turned to her fellow Doctor.
"We'll need to feed him intravenously, at least for the interim.
He's completely exhausted and his body has been depleted utterly
of nutrients. When he regains consciousness I will apply neural
inducers. I want his sleep to be dream free for a while…he
needs rest. Alyssa help Doctor Selar set up the drip, I'll be
back in a minute."
Beverly made her way to her office and called Deanna.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Deanna arrived in Sickbay she found her friend
in the Captain's room. She stood in the doorway, noting how pale
and gaunt the Captain appeared. Beverly looked up and noticed
the Counsellor.
"Come in Deanna."
"So you said he collapsed?"
"Yes. Scans show he's not eaten or slept properly for days.
That combined with the therapy and everything else has proved
too much for him. Dammit Deanna I should've seen this coming!
I knew he wasn't eating, but he just pulled the wool completely
over my eyes. And this treatment…it's been too soon, we should've
waited. Gods when I think of what he's been through…"
"Beverly stop. You've treated him as you thought fit. I didn't
see this coming either so you're not alone on your guilt trip.
When will he wake up?"
"We can wake him any time we want, but I think we should
leave him to sleep. It's what he needs right now."
" I agree. He's being fed intravenously?"
"Yes…he's so weak we needed to get nourishment into
him immediately."
"How long?"
"Until he starts to eat on his own."
"Beverly I know he's been having nightmares…has he discussed
them with you?"
"Not really. If he has a bad one he calls me, but we usually
just chat or read…he wants company mostly. Why?"
"Because he hasn't discussed them with me either…at
least not in any meaningful context."
Beverly looked down at her lover and sighed, gently running her
fingers down his arm.
"Jean-Luc…what have you been doing to yourself?"
To Deanna she said,
"Well when he's able, we'll all sit down and talk about this.
He's not going to sneak by me again."
Deanna smiled at her friend and held her hand out.
"Can I see his workups?"
"Yep. Come to my office and we'll have a cup of tea while
you read them."
The two women left the Captain's room and had been seated in Beverly's
office for some time when an ear splitting scream resounded throughout
Sickbay. They ran into the main body of the department to find
Selar running to the Captain's room. They followed her.
Jean-Luc was writhing on the bed, drenched in sweat and sobbing
with terror.
"No! I won't! Stop…please, oh God please stop…"
Beverly gripped his shoulders and shook him.
"Jean-Luc! Wake up Jean-Luc it's a dream…just a dream."
He shook his head from side to side violently, his fists balling
at his sides. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he screamed,
"Noooo!" and struck out with his right fist catching
Beverly on the cheek and knocking her off her feet. Deanna grabbed
Jean-Luc as Selar went to Beverly's aid.
"Captain! Captain Picard! Wake up!"
Jean-Luc drew back his fist to strike again only to pause as his
vision cleared. He blinked slowly twice and looked perplexed at
his raised fist. In a roughened voice he said,
"Deanna…?"
"It's alright Captain you had a bad dream. Lie back now and
relax, it's over."
Selar scanned the livid bruise on Beverly's cheek before running
a tissue regenerator over the affected area. Helping her to her
feet, Selar pronounced her healed and went to check on the Captain's
drip. Jean-Luc was still staring at his hand when he noticed Beverly
rubbing her cheek.
"Beverly what happened?"
"Nothing Jean-Luc, you got a fright that's all…it's
nothing really."
"It's not nothing Beverly…my God…I hit you!"
It was then he saw the drip attached to his arm.
"What's this? What's going on? What happened to me?"
"Jean-Luc everything's alright. You got up too soon after
your therapy and fainted. You hit your head, but I fixed it."
"And the drip?"
"You haven't been eating. We needed to get you some nourishment
into you quickly…that was the quickest way."
"Well you can remove it now thank you."
Beverly came closer to him and grasped his hand.
"I don't think so. Not only haven't you been eating, you've
not been sleeping either. The combination has left you severely
weakened. You'll be staying here for a few days while we stabilise
your body chemistry. I want you to rest Jean-Luc."
"I can do that in my quarters."
"Uh uh that's how you got here in the first place. If you
won't look after yourself, then I'll do it for you."
"Beverly…"
"No. It's my way or none at all."
He glared up at her then gave up.
"Very well."
"Good. Now I'm going to go and set a few things up, I want
you to talk to Deanna while I'm gone…and Jean-Luc? No more
lies."
She left before he could respond, leaving him alone with the Counsellor.
Silence settled for a while before Deanna broke it.
"No more lies Captain?"
He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily.
"It would seem I have been a little…cavalier with the
truth."
"In what way?"
"I told Beverly I was eating when in fact I wasn't."
"Why?"
"I wasn't the least bit hungry and she kept nagging me! In
the end it was a relief to lie to her just to make her stop."
"I don't think you're being exactly fair Captain…"
He snorted and grimaced, but then relented.
"You're right, I'm not. Look I know Beverly was only doing
her job, but between my not feeling hungry and the damned therapy…"
"She was doing more than just her job Captain…you know
how much she cares…"
Jean-Luc reached out and gripped Deanna's hand.
"I know Counsellor…I spoke in anger, I'm sorry."
"Captain…you've been to hell and back recently. I understand
your anger, in fact I condone it."
"You do?"
"Yes! For a man like you, it's difficult to talk about how
you feel, but nevertheless, those unshared feeling fester and
the pressure builds. It's no wonder you've been having nightmares."
"And hitting the woman I love?"
"An accident Captain. She bears no malice. But I am curious…why
didn't you talk to her about the nightmares? I know you called
her at night."
He lay silently, formulating his reply.
"They are so terrible…so vivid…when I waken its
all I can do not to break down completely. One time I actually
wet the bed, heaping humiliation on top of everything else. By
the time I was able to call her I had gained a semblance of control.
I didn't want to lose it."
"So you said nothing…kept it all to yourself?"
"Uh huh."
"What are they about?"
"Mostly what Bleck did to me. I told you that sometimes it's
Beverly on the receiving end but sometimes I dream Bleck emasculates
me. The pain is excruciating. When I found I couldn't get an erection,
the dreams became worse. Somehow the therapy added to it…perhaps
it was the pain…I don't know, but I found myself beginning
to believe that I would never again get an…I want so badly
to make love to Beverly…the thought that I might not be able
to…it's devastating."
"But surely Beverly has told you she thinks the treatment
has been successful?"
"Yes, but we don't know yet."
"Well as soon as you're strong enough, it will be the first
order of business."
He smiled and released her hand, rubbing his face.
"You know Captain…Beverly is bound to be hurt by all
this."
"I know."
"You need to talk to her."
He nodded and sighed.
"Not only do I have to apologise for hitting her…I have
to say sorry for lying…for deceiving her. Gods what a mess."
Deanna patted his hand.
"Nothing that can't be sorted out. When she comes back she's
going to place neural inducers on you to make sure you get some
dreamless sleep."
"That makes sense. I must admit…I'm exhausted. Some
dream free sleep would be appreciated."
"I leave you then. Be patient with her Captain, her temper
sometimes gets in her way."
"I will…and thank you Deanna, we'll talk again soon."
The Counsellor left and Jean-Luc wondered how long he would have
to wait before being exposed to Beverly's wrath.

 

 

 

 

 

Deanna found the red head making up a meal regimen
for the Captain.
She read over Beverly's shoulder before chancing a giggle.
"You'll never get him to eat all that!"
Beverly slapped the PADD down with more force than was necessary.
"I'll make him eat it or die trying! That man! Honestly Deanna
I don't know what to do with him. One half of me wants to cosset
him, the other half wants to kick him in the rear end. What the
hell am I supposed to do?"
"A little of both I think. Beverly he won't be cosseted and
he certainly won't appreciate being kicked, but he does need to
know how much he's hurt you. He's very sorry about what's happened…and
he's mortified that he hit you…it's just that he's had so
much to deal with…it all became too much for him and he withdrew
from us all. It's not like he's never done it before."
Beverly sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I know. Dammit Deanna I want to help him, but he won't let
me!"
"I think he will now."
Beverly looked frankly at her best friend and sighed.
"You think so?"
"Uh huh…starting right now."
Giving her a gentle push, Deanna watched as Beverly made her tentative
way to the Captain's room.

 

 

 

 

 

As she slowly entered the darkened room, Bevery called
for the lights to come up by 25%. She went to the table and fiddled
with some instruments before she heard a whispered…
"Beverly?"
She turned and put on her Doctor's face.
"Yes Captain?"
He reached for her hand, but she stood ramrod straight, keeping
her hands by her sides.
He closed his eyes and let his hand drop onto the bed.
"Beverly…please…I need you."
"Do you?"
He opened his eyes and she gave a small gasp as she saw tears
rolling slowly down his face. He nodded and raised his arms.
"Come to me my love."
Her resolve broken, a sob was wrenched from her throat as she
flung herself into his embrace. She wound her arms around him
and held him as if he might disappear. They wept quietly in each
other's arms, giving and taking strength…and love. Eventually
Beverly sat up and retrieved some tissues for them both. Jean-Luc
found his voice first.
"Beverly…my love…I'm so sorry. I have lied to you,
deceived you…struck you…what can I do to make it right
between us?"
Beverly rested a hand on his chest to make sure he stayed supine
as she wiped her tears away. Shaking her head, she placed a finger
on his lips.
"Hush Jean-Luc, I understand. Everything happened too fast.
Your rescue, confronting Bleck, the therapy…I should've given
you more time…and as for hitting me…par for the course
I'm afraid. Comes with the job. If I had some latinum for every
time someone's taken a swing at me, I'd be rich. I should've ducked.
Don't give it another thought."
"Hmm I'll take that under advisement. I should've been honest
with you though…I'm sorry."
"Tell you what. How about we start afresh? From now on we
share everything…our thoughts our dreams…our fantasies…"
He shifted his head and smiled for the first time.
"I think I like the sound of that. When do we start?"
"Like I said…now."
Beverly basked in one of his rare full grins.
"Oh good."
She grinned back at him then left the bed to go to the table.
She returned with two devices in her hands.
"For now however, you need some quality sleep."
She placed the instruments on his temples and activated them.
"I'm going to give you a sedative to help you sleep. The
neural inducers will stop any dreams. It's not something we can
do for any protracted time, after all you do need to dream, but
this will suffice in the short term."
He felt the hypospray touch his neck and he heard the characteristic
hiss. Immediately his body relaxed and he felt his mind become
sluggish.
"Good night my love."
He managed one last question.
"Will you stay?"
"Yes."

 

 

 

 

 

He slept undisturbed for twelve hours and Beverly stayed
by his side the entire time, dozing by his bed. At 0830 she removed
the inducers and allowed him to enter REM sleep. She monitored
him carefully and noted the dreams were not stressful. She also
noted, with great satisfaction, as he entered a lighter sleep
in preparation to waking, he had an erection. It had subsided
by the time he woke up.
"Good morning Jean-Luc."
He blinked owlishly and smiled at his lover. In a deep rumble
he replied,
"Good morning Doctor."
"Would you like to go to the bathroom?"
He nodded and Beverly disconnected the drip, drawing the cannula
from his vein.
"There you go you don't need that any more."
He smiled his thanks and made his way to the bathroom. After using
the toilet, he shaved and showered and was greeted to the smell
of breakfast when he re-entered his room.
"What have we here?"
With a flourish Beverly whipped off the cover from the plate.
"Hot croissants, butter, strawberry jam, blueberry jam and
coffee."
He grinned and went to sit in a chair but Beverly scowled and
shook her head.
"Oh no you don't! Back into bed mister."
"But…"
"No buts. Bed."
He stood a moment frowning then shrugged his broad shoulders and
climbed into bed. Beverly straightened the covers then placed
the tray over his thighs.
"Now…eat!"
"Aye Sir."
Twenty minutes and three croissants later, they were sharing a
coffee when Beverly leaned forward and sneaked a kiss.
"What was that for?"
"I've got good news."
"Really? What?"
"Well you know that…problem…we've been working
on? The one you had the therapy for?"
"Yes…" he said tentatively.
"You're cured!"
"What? How do you know?"
Beverly giggled, an impish gleam in her eyes.
"When you were waking up you got an erection."
Jean-Luc blushed and put his cup down.
"Oh God. Were we alone?"
"Uh huh."
"Thank heaven for small mercies."
He thought about it then and a grin appeared on his face.
"Was it…good?"
"Oh yes!"
He sighed and closed his eyes.
"Thank you Beverly. I don't think I have to tell you how
much this means to me."
"No you don't but I must admit…it's pretty important
to me too."
That had them both laughing. They were still chuckling when Deanna
stuck her head through the door.
"Good morning. Up for a visitor?"
Beverly stood and took the tray.
"Come in Deanna you can talk to him…I've got work to
do."
She smiled at her friend and let the happy emotions she felt settle
on her.
"How do you feel Captain?"
"Much better Counsellor. I have resolved my differences with
Beverly and, although I don't wish to go into details, I've just
found out that my therapy has been successful."
"That's wonderful Sir! I'm very happy for you…both of
you. Have you had a good sleep?"
"Yes nearly fourteen hours and no nightmares."
"Good. Now that things have been sorted out for you, I think
we can expect the nightmares to become less frequent, although
I don't think they'll disappear completely, at least not for a
while."
"I understand. I've been through this before remember. I'll
be alright…with the right help."
"Yes Captain you will. Has she got you eating?"
He chuckled delightedly, a sparkle in his hazel eyes.
"Indeed she has. Croissants and coffee and she tells me I
will enjoy lunch."
Joining her Captain in laughter, Deanna basked in his relaxation,
a state he didn't often find in the company of others.
"I'm sure you will Sir. Is there anything you would like
from your quarters?"
"No I think I have everything I need thank you."
"Very well Sir, I'll see you later."
She left confident for the first time about his recovery.

In all he stayed in Sickbay three days, finally
securing his release with a solemn vow to rest and eat properly
in the privacy of his quarters. Beverly walked him back to his
cabin, arm in arm.
"So what are you going to do with your time?"
"Oh I don't know…read, play the flute, there's a new
Bach piece I've been working on it's very intricate."
"Fine as long as you stay away from your desk. No ship's
business, none at all. You must rest."
"I know…you've made yourself quite clear on that subject."
They reached his door and he asked her in.
"No, not now I have work to do, but I will come for dinner
if I'm invited."
He looked up and down the corridor and, finding them alone, leaned
in and kisser her with gentle passion. She responded and he tightened
his embrace. Tapering off the kiss, he looked deeply into her
eyes and murmured,
"Oh you're invited Doctor…most definitely."
She chuckled softly and kissed him tenderly.
"Then I'll be there."
He released her reluctantly and watched as she walked away from
him. Sighing, he entered his quarters and stood quietly, a satisfied
grin on his face.

 

 

 

 

Beverly had butterflies as she walked down the corridor
to his quarters. She'd been to her cabin and showered. Choosing
her wardrobe had been easy. The peach top he liked so much, paired
with the blue skirt…the one with the slit up the side. She
walked bare footed, carrying her shoes. Her capriciousness was
liberating. She felt happy, carefree and excited. She had high
hopes for the evening and her desire simmered just under the surface.
She arrived at his door and activated the chime.
The door whispered open and they both stood transfixed, each stunned
by the presence of the other. As he stood back, Jean-Luc's deep
baritone thrilled her as he spoke.
"Come in Beverly, you look gorgeous."
She drifted past him, detecting the musky aroma of his aftershave.
Turning she cocked her hip and looked him up and down hungrily.
He wore navy blue close fitting trousers, a white silk shirt and
soft black shoes. He was devastatingly handsome.
"Would you care for some wine?"
She shook her head as she stepped slowly towards him. He stood
still as she reached up and trailed her fingers from his brow
to his lips. In a low husky murmur, she replied,
"I don't want to drink, I don't want to eat…I want you."
He closed his eyes and let the sultriness of her voice wash over
him. Deeply breathing her scent, he opened his eyes and lifted
his hands to her hair entangling them.
"I love you Beverly."
"I know. I love you too…with all my heart."
He kissed her then. Gently at first, it soon became a kiss of
deep passion and need.
His arms encircled her and he crushed her to him, unable to get
enough of her. As she felt his erection rise to press at her hip,
she moaned into his mouth and caressed his neck, running her fingers
through the short hair. Maintaining the kiss, he swept her up
into his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He gently placed
her on her feet, his hands roaming over her breasts.
Suddenly breaking the kiss, she stepped back, her hand on his
chest.
"I've seen you naked often enough…it's your turn."
With deliberate sloth, she peeled off her top and cupped her breasts
through her bra.
Taking another step backwards, she undid the bra and dropped it
at her feet. Now his eyes roamed over her breasts, etching into
his memory their shape and colour, how the reddened nipples puckered
and rose as she gently rubbed them.
She slipped her fingers under the waistband of her skirt and slowly
pushed it down until it puddled at her feet. She kicked it away
and boldly caressed herself through her panties.
"I've dreamed of doing this for you Jean-Luc…having
you watch me as I undress."
He moaned softly, his eyes devouring her body.
Her thumbs hooked under the elastic of her underwear and she slid
the garment slowly down her legs. It too joined the skirt, forgotten
on the floor. She stood before him gloriously naked and extremely
aroused. He could see the flush of arousal colouring the milky
skin of her body and his soul ached for her. He stepped forward
but she stopped him.
"No…not yet. Let me undress you."
One by one she undid the buttons of his shirt and untucked the
hem from his pants. Encouraging him to lift his arms, she pulled
the shirt from him and quickly kissed his nipples while his arms
were upraised.
He groaned and reached for her, but she shook her head. He lowered
his arms and waited. She leaned forward and drew a deep breath,
suffusing her senses with his unique male scent. She gently ran
her fingers down his chest and slowly undid his trousers. As she
slid the zipper down, her fingers made contact with his straining
erection. He gasped and involuntarily thrust his hips.
She sank to her knees and rid him of his shoes and socks before
helping him out of his pants. She then ran her hands up the back
of his legs to caress his buttocks as she gently rubbed her face
over his confined penis. She drew back and looked at him hungrily,
noting the wet patch on his briefs. Slipping her fingers under
the waistband she lowered his underwear and freed his throbbing
need.
Once he was fully naked she stood and looked at him. Licking her
lips she whispered huskily,
"You're so beautiful…"
He found his voice.
"As are you, my love."
He stepped forward and she came to meet him. His kiss was tender
and searching, learning and tasting. He picked her up again and
placed her gently on his bed. Stretching out beside her, his hand
found her breast and he moulded its shape, finding the hardened
nipple and rolling it between finger and thumb.
She arched to him, whispering his name.
His mouth kissed its way down her face and on to the valley of
her breast. He mouthed his way over the quivering mound and teased
the nipple repeatedly before sucking it into the heat of his mouth.
"Oh yes…"
Her hand drifted down his torso and gripped his erection, stroking
him lightly. He thrust gently into her hand and moaned around
her nipple. His own hand traced patterns down her flank until
it enticed her legs apart. As he slipped his fingers through her
folds she bucked her hips and gasped. When he slid a thick finger
into her she kissed him and moaned into his mouth.
Their desire spiralling, he rolled her over and removed his hand,
now coated with her dew. His erection slid over her as he undulated
his hips, teasing her, making her want him even more.
Her blue eyes opened and she panted…
"Now Jean-Luc…I want you now!"
He kissed her and reached down to take himself in hand. Guiding
it slowly he sank into her, making them one for the first time.
He reached her depths and stilled, letting her become accustomed
to his size. Still kissing her, his hand reached up and caressed
her breast. She lifted her legs, locked them around his waist
and clenched him internally.
He took her cue and started to thrust slowly, his body tingling
with sensation. Beverly fell into his rhythm and clenched him
on every thrust. She held him tightly as he broke the kiss to
gasp his pleasure.
"Oh God Beverly…"
"Yes my love…oh yes…"
He raised himself up on trembling arms and thrust hard into her.
She lifted her hips to meet every movement and felt the onrush
of her climax.
"Oh Jean-Luc…more…harder…"
He closed his eyes and gave up his formidable control. He pumped
into her with abandon, his back whipsawing with effort. She rose
up to him and held on as she flexed and jerked, crying out his
name as the ecstasy swept over her.
He thrust hard four more times and stiffened as his own orgasm
surged through his sweating body. He ground himself into her as
he jetted his semen deep inside her then collapsed panting and
moaning.

 

 

 

It was some time before they regained their senses.
Rolling to his side, he took her with him and they lay together,
still joined, their legs entangled.
Jean-Luc reached up and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind
Beverly's ear.
"That was…wonderful…you were wonderful…"
Beverly chuckled softly and kissed him tenderly.
"Up to your expectations?"
He shook his head and grinned.
"My expectations have been exceeded beyond my furthest imagination.
I couldn't have concocted anything so beautiful."
"Hmm, it was good wasn't it? Definitely worth the wait."
He kissed her with gentle passion, his hand drifting to her breast.
She returned the kiss with equal ardour, her hand roaming over
his chest and tweaking his nipples.
They parted and she growled her pleasure, feeling him harden insider
her. The love they made was unhurried and extraordinarily intense.
They were forging an unbreakable bond, one that had begun almost
thirty years before, but only now sealed in mutual love and passion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An hour later they were sitting up in bed eating a
belated dinner. Jean-Luc kept glancing surreptitiously and his
naked lover, watching her as she ate. He was delighted…and
it showed.
Beverly scooped the last of the gravy up with the bread and popped
it into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully and he knew something
was on her mind. He sighed.
"All right…out with it."
She dabbed daintily at her lips with a serviette and cast her
gaze over him.
"There are some…medical things I need to know."
"Like what?"
"In view of you injuries…when we made love was there
any pain? Any problems I should know about?"
He frowned and shook his head.
"No…everything was fine…better than fine actually.
I can honestly say that was the most intimate, extraordinary sexual
experience of my life."
Beverly chuckled and gently ran her fingers down his face.
"Really? You mean all those other women…?"
"Beverly…I wasn't in love with them…not in the
way I love you. Believe me, they pale into insignificance."
Beverly smiled gently and rose from the bed, taking the tray with
her. He admired her as she crossed the room, her nude body catching
the starlight from the viewport. She soon returned and they snuggled
under the covers together.
"How are we going to do this Jean-Luc?
"What…our new relationship?"
"Uh huh."
"Well I don't know about you, but I would like to keep this
to ourselves for a while…at least until we find our feet."
"I agree…but Deanna's going to know, if she doesn't
already."
He sighed expansively, his fingers idly drawing patterns on her
back.
"I suppose we'll just have to rely on her discretion. She'll
probably tell Will…oh God I'm going to have to bear the shit-eating
grin. Damn!"
Beverly laughed and buried her hand in the softly curling hair
of his chest.
"They'll leave us alone…I'll kill them both personally
if they don't, but what about us?"
"All I can say is that we should take it day by day. Let
things develop at their own pace."
"Do you want me to move in with you?"
"Yes, eventually, but I think we should give each other time
to settle into this. Beverly I've waited too long to ruin this
by rushing in headlong and forcing the issue. I will be guided
by you. Tell me what you need and it's yours."
Beverly rose up on her elbow and gazed down at her lover.
"I love you Jean-Luc…you know that don't you?"
"Yes my love, I know and it makes me the happiest man in
the universe."
"Good. Now go to sleep, you still need your rest."
"Aye Sir."
He held her as they slipped into sleep and he was right. There
was not another man in the cosmos as happy as he.

 

*The premise and title of this story came from the fertile
mind of Amy Fullarton.
Thank you Amy…you're a gem!