Chapter Text
In my head, we belong
- from „Streets“ by Doja Cat
Jimin was rolling his hips slowly to the music in the club he crashed in with Taehyung. His friend was long gone with some very beautiful beta.
The omega usually went home when something like this happened but this time he was feeling the tingling sensations of the night, he didn‘t want to end it yet.
The whole week has been horrible at his student job and university, especially his colleagues stressed him out which resulted in an itchy feeling deep under his skin. He knew this feeling very well.
When he got stressed, he mostly was feeling slightly nervous, anxious even.
A good night out was usually helping, so he decided to stay in the club even after he was left alone. It was a dark and somewhat musty club that played mostly a weird mix of R&B and alternative tunes.
A new song was blaring through the speakers of the club. This song he knew; it had been all over the charts at some point if he remembered correctly. He listened to the angelic voice of a female singer, singing about someone who seems to be unforgettable and he tried hard to not draw a connection to some special person but he failed miserably.
His mind went to big brown doe eyes, a bunny smile, brown hair that was falling in a handsome face, a sweet voice saying „hyung“. Jimin couldn't help but smile at the memory of the person who still visited him in his sleep nearly once a week.
The omega knew why he thought about that special person when he heard that song. He even pretended to sway his hips just for this one special person that he has been reminded of.
But it was no use, Jimin thought, the younger omega won’t magically appear on the spot and be entranced by Jimins actions. His lips curled a little bit more, he was tipsy.
A chuckle left his lips, laughing about himself and his desperation. The worst of it all was that his wolf, his omega side, missed his best friend too. His human side and his wolf side both missed the young man so achingly deep since the last time they had talked to each other.
His thoughts came to a stop as someone grabbed his hips and pressed himself into his back. Jimin stilled and freed himself from the grip. The song that reminded Jimin of a precious omega ended and a new one started. His mood changed rapidly.
„I’m not interested. Sorry, “ Jimin screamed over the music and took several steps back. The stranger that had tried to approach him was handsome: Short curly black hair, big black eyes and soft pink lips. But Jimin wasn’t interested. In fact, he never was really interested in someone other than Jungkook.
He was not in the mood tonight. Not after the last conversation he had with Jungkook on the phone.
„You’re not changing your mind?“ The man - the alpha, Jimin noiced, tried to change his mind. Jimin laughed: „Yes, yes. Good luck in finding someone else. Good night.“
He decided to go home now because the club was getting more and more unbearable: Pheromones from wolves who were desperate to find someone to spend the night with clogging the space.
As he was trying to get his coat back, another wolf tried to flirt with him. Jimin not-so-kindly declined and was glad when he stepped out of the nightclub into the cold night. His breath mingled with the air and formed tiny clouds.
Jimin fumbled in his bag and retreated some headphones. He connected them with his mobile phone and listened to some calming music. As the omega walked down the street to get to the next subway stop, he tried to find the artist of the song he heard in the club. It had moved something inside him, something buried and he wanted to reach it again. Tonight he was in the mood to tear open some old wounds and to lick them better.
He sat in the subway for ten minutes when he finally found the song. Jimin pressed play and laid his head against the window, suddenly feeling tired. He played the found song on repeat. It went on and on. Eyes getting heavy while the scenery of a big city passed by.
Jimin pressed repeat for the sixth time as his stop appeared and he needed to get out of the subway and step into the cold night again. As he walked to his apartment, his black Chelsey boots were making crunching noises on the cold asphalt. He was so tired as he walked down the road.
When he finally slipped into his apartment, he quickly took off his clothes until he was stripped down to his underpants and ready for his nest in his bed. He smiled as he looked at his phone again and found a message from Taehyung.
Soulmate! I’m so sorry that I left you alone at the club. Something happened but I will tell you the details tomorrow. Please let me know when you are home :)
He quickly wrote a reassuring message back and threw himself into his nest.
Jimin took his nice cuddly blanket and draped it over himself. Above his nest hung fairy lights and he watched them fondly. They were shaped as little fires. He bought these lights with Jungkook because it reminded them of the figure Calcifer from the Movie 'Howls Moving Castle’.
They had watched the movie countless times when they were younger.
„I miss you“, he whispered into the quiet of his bedroom.
„I miss you Jungkook.”
Sleep came fast and easily. Soon, Jimin was walking over clouds.
--
„Eomma, I don’t want to play alone.“ Jimin whispered into his mother’s ear. It was late afternoon and his mother went to the playground in their neighborhood with him. But Jimin was not in the mood to play alone, it was no fun alone.
„Jimin-ah“, she sighed. „Just go ask the other kids here if they want to play with you. You’re still so shy my sweet, sweet boy.“ She smiled at him and stroked his hair.
„Scent me again please.“ Jimin looked up at her through his hair, a pout forming on his lips.
„Okay, okay.“, she laughed and pressed her cheek against his, then gave him a few kisses across his small face. You could hear a low rumble in her chest as she scented her child. After a few seconds, she slowly retreated and patted Jimins head. „Now go and play!“
He ran to the big slide in the middle of the playground. It appeared a little bit scary to him. Jimin hesitated to go up there. Maybe it was better if he went back to his mother? he wondered.
„Are you scared?“
A small voice beside him asked. Jimin looked at the boy who appeared so suddenly at his side. He was smaller than himself, he had to be younger than him.
„Do you want to go on the slide?“ He asked the small boy. His eyes were big and shiny.
„Yes!“ He said and took a few steps towards the slide. „But I’m a little scared. Can you come with me?“
Jimin smiled, went to the boy, and took his hand in his. „Of course, we can go together.“
After they slid down the slide together – with a lot of giggling - Jimin asked for the small boy’s name.
„I’m Jeon Jungkook.“
--
When Jimin first presented as an omega he was terrified.
Jimin and Jungkook were best friends since they met when Jimin was eight and Jungkook was six years old. Jungkooks parents moved to Jimin’s neighborhood and since they met each other one fateful day at the local playground they were inseparable.
They went to the same school and slept at each other’s homes. Stood up late and binge-watched all sorts of Anime, tried drinking their first sips of beer together when Jimins parents were on a business trip on the weekend.
They shared everything with each other: their fears, their dreams, their insecurities, and their successes.
But something changed when Jimin presented as an omega as he was seventeen years old. The first weeks as someone who presented was a very confusing time: Scents that you had only recognized a little as a not presented wolf were suddenly overwhelming. Alphas in pre-rut and omegas in pre-heat who passed by were giving you a headache and the local coffee shop you liked a lot smelled suddenly disgustingly sweet when you’re in pre-heat yourself.
Jimin was not happy about the changes that were happening to him. He didn’t like the stares of some wolves and he hated the way he was treated by a lot of people in his school.
But Jimin was fierce. Even if the dumb comments from some of his schoolmates annoyed him, or made him sad, he was always sharp and didn't let himself be intimidated by other wolves.
What he disliked the most being an omega were the heats.
The first heats of a newly presented omega seem to be unbearable for you. It’s because you never experienced something like this before. And even if you learn everything about what is happening to the body and mind of omegas in heat, you still can’t imagine the pain, the suffering, and the agony of spending your heat alone.
For Jimin, it wasn’t the lack of sexual stimulation that was so unbearable. It was rather the feeling of excruciating loneliness.
Maybe, just maybe, that was one of his greatest fears. And being in heat brought out that ugly feeling of not being wanted. The feeling of being unworthy of love and people’s kindness? The heat made it ten times worse.
He still remembered clearly that one conversation he has had about the agony he experienced during his heat with Jungkook. They sat in his bed and munched ice cream, Jimin had been in heat a week before.
It was very hot those days and they spent the whole day walking around their neighborhood in search of something distracting. Jungkook was sixteen at that time and tried to be as understanding as someone can be who hasn’t presented yet.
„Hyung, that sounds so painful. I wish I could do something about it,“ Jungkook said and looked at Jimin with innocent eyes. Jimin smiled. „You can’t do anything about it, Jungkook-ah. But thank you for your concern.” He sighed. Jimin didn’t tell everyone to Jungkook, because the other was younger than him, more vulnerable. And he didn’t present yet. No need to scare his friend.
„Maybe I should ask an alpha if he can help me?“ Jimin mumbled. Some of the ice landed on his bedsheets. Jimin looked angry at the little drop of ice cream staining his sheets.
Jungkook had heard him despite his mumbling. „But who?“ he asked, his voice loud in comparison to Jimin’s mumbling before.
„We don’t know someone who would be trustworthy enough. What if they just take advantage of you? Hurt you? Something like that can get dangerous very quickly, hyung”, Jungkook said agitatedly. “I don’t like where this is going.”
Silence enveloped them. The stain on his sheets was forgotten. Jimin looked at his best friend in wonder.
„I don’t know Jungkook-ah. Being in heat is terrible”, Jimin began again, wanted the other to understand.
„Maybe I can look for someone at school? There are some alphas interested in me and maybe I can just ask-,“
„No!“ Jungkook said, his voice much more strained and louder than before.
They both looked at each other, surprise on their faces.
„I mean… no”, Jungkook’s voice more gentle, „No hyung. The alphas are not trustworthy, we- eh you don’t know them that well, and what if they’re just using you in your vulnerable state? I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror if I’d let that happen.“
„Jungkook... you don’t need to protect me. I’m the older one. You know that, right?“ Jimin began to feel nervous and agitated. His omega was restless. He tried to keep his breath even. It felt like something wanted to crawl out of his body into the small bedroom, in the space between them.
This whole conversation made him feel weird.
„Yes, of course, hyung. But I want to keep you safe too. Like you always want to keep me safe, hm?“ Jungkook looked so lost in that moment that Jimin took pity on him. Maybe they shouldn’t talk about these things. Maybe it was wrong of him to even breach that topic when Jungkook hadn’t presented yet.
Jimin would think of this moment many many times later. He would remember Jungkook’s slumped figure, corners of a mouth drawn down and eyes, so deep and wide and dark. Forlorn.
Once again a restless silence enveloped them as they sat there and stared at each other.
After a few minutes, Jimin tried to change the topic.„Ah, let’s talk about something different. The heat will get bearable, I am sure. Other omegas get through them alone and are fine. So I’ll be fine as well.“ Jungkook’s face lit up after that. They didn’t talk about heat again after that time.
Until Jungkook presented himself.
--
The day Jungkook presented, Jimin was on a date with an alpha called Im Jaebum.
The alpha was in the same class as Jimin and he was persistent: Jaebum tried to get a date with Jimin for four months until the omega agreed.
Jimin thought his eagerness was kind of cute and if he was honest to himself: What did he have to lose? So they met each other after school in a café and just talked about school, family, friends and what they did in their free time. It was casual and it was nice.
After an hour of small talk, Jimin was called by Jungkook’s elder brother.
Jeon Junghyun didn‘t call Jimin unless it was an emergency. The last time he had called him was when Jungkook broke his right arm in a fight between him and some douchebag classmate. So Jimin anxiously answered the call and felt a rush of adrenaline run through him.
„Junghyun hyung? What’s wrong? Is Jungkook okay?“
„Don’t worry, please don’t worry. Jungkook is”, one could hear him taking a deep breath, „fine I guess? He presented - unfortunately it happened at school during sports class.“
Jimin gasped for air, startled. Nervous excitement spread through him – his best friend had presented! That was a big thing!
„He played a round of rugby with his classmates and it got out of hands. His behavior was a little bit off this morning, we should have been more attentive. After almost throwing hands with another player, he suddenly collapsed,” Junghyun cleared his throat.
“He presented as an omega.”
There it was.
Jimin tried to keep his breathing even. He didn’t know what was wrong with himself – he suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Im Jaebum looked at him funny. It felt surreal: He wasn’t even surprised. Somehow, something inside of him always knew that Jungkook was an omega.
Jimin didn’t know why he felt a rush of disappointment though. He didn’t want to know. He tried to swallow the feeling down.
“Mum and Dad are at work right now; I still have classes. Could you-“
“Yes”, Jimin said, still feeling breathless.
“Yes, I will pick him up and drive him home.”
After finishing the call with Junghyun, he stared a few moments at his mobile phone.
Then he looked at Jaebum. “I’m so sorry but I need to leave. My best friend presented in school and someone needs to pick him up,” his voice sounded distant.
“Don’t worry, Jimin. That’s no problem for me. Can I help you? Should I come with you?” Jaebum smiled at him.
“Ah, thank you. But I better do this alone.” Jimin opened his wallet and gave Jaebum money for his coffee and the small muffin he finished eating just ten minutes ago.
“No need to give me money. I’ll pay,” Jaebum said. “You don’t need to pay for me,” Jimin smiled and placed the money on the table. “Thank you for your time! We see each other in class next week.”
“Goodbye, Jimin,” he called after him while Jimin left the little café.
As he turned into the parking space of their school, he saw Jungkook sitting on a bench near the entrance. With his shoulders slumped, he held his head in his hands. Jimin felt worried rushing through his body and settling in his belly. Additionally, he still felt a little disappointed, which annoyed him.
He parked his car and hurried out of his seat. When he began walking to Jungkook, the boy suddenly raised his head and looked him straight in the eyes. At that moment, Jimin felt something change. It felt like the world was suddenly off his axis. Jimin gulped.
Jungkook’s eyes felt so deep. There was an excessive amount of saliva collecting in his mouth. He suddenly could smell Jungkook’s omega.
Just yesterday, he only smelled like a pup. Like milk mixed with something he couldn’t decipher before but now that he presented, he smelled like something that brought a smile to his face.
Jungkook smelled like tiger lilies. How very fitting.
Something was once again crawling inside of him, making him feel itchy and irritated. It agitated his wolf. „Jungkook“, Jimin said, forcing himself to snap out of whatever came over him and hurried over to his best friend.
“Hyung’s here now, everything will turn out just fine. I will bring you home and then you can rest. I know how you feel right now. All these new smells, the new sensations…“
„Your scent is soothing, “ Jungkook interrupted his stammering, staring up into his face. „Like daisies. I like it a lot,“ Jungkooks voice was hoarse.
„Thank you,“ Jimin felt suddenly hot. Annoyed by his emotional turmoil, he pinched his little finger.
„What is my scent like?“ Jungkook asked and continued to look him straight in his eyes. His look never wavered. There was something predatory in Jungkook’s behavior. It was his wolf showing, Jimin thought, someone who would always be present now.
Jimin gulped again.
„You smell like tiger lilies. That’s rare. I like it too.“
On the way home, Jungkook's eyes did not once leave him. Inexplicable to him, this only made Jimin's chaotic emotional state worse.
--
“What are you drawing?” Jungkook asked and tried to get a glimpse of Jimin’s drawing over his shoulder.
“None of your business,” cried Jimin and violently closed his sketchbook. “Why can’t I ever see your drawings, hyung? It drives me crazy! I always let you look at my drawings!” said Jungkook and let himself fall down next to Jimin.
Since Jungkook was a newly presented omega, his pheromones were all over the place. Jimin scrunched his nose.
“That’s because you’re much better at drawing than me. I’m embarrassed to show you my drawings because yours will always be better,” Jimin said, shifting slightly away from his best friend.
Jungkook looked upset. “Why do you say that, hyung? It’s not true. You have such a talent, I-,“ Jungkook began.
Jimin held up his hand.
“And I want you to stop. As my one and only best friend, you must accept my wishes,” Jimin interrupted and stood up. “Please do not worry about me.”
“If you only knew...” mumbled Jungkook and stood up too.
“What did you say?” Jimin raised an eyebrow, a little upset. Jungkook’s behavior angered him and Jimin was annoyed with himself for even feeling that anger. It was out of proportion.
“Nothing,” Jungkook said and trotted off after Jimin who was then heading for the next class.
His sketchbook, full of drawings of his best friend, was burning in his hand. Jimin could never show him his sketchbooks. Jungkook would never be allowed to know that he was his favorite motif.
It was too embarrassing.
It was too weird.
--
Shortly after Jungkook had presented and had his first heat, they both went to a Party hosted by their friend Jackson together. Jungkook had insisted that they both spent some time together as best friends before the party, drinking a few beers and playing with his new gaming console at Jimin’s home. They were both in a very good mood.
But as soon as Jaebum arrived at Jimin's side, he felt Jungkook’s unease. When Jaebum excused himself to get some drinks for the three of them, Jimin made sure to keep his voice very quiet as he bumped his shoulder with Jungkook and asked „What's wrong? I feel that you’re stressed because of something. What’s wrong?“
His best friend looked like he was uncomfortable.
„It’s nothing, hyung. Just.. have some time with your date alone, okay? I will meet a few classmates of mine.“
Jimin shrugged. „Okay. See you later.“
Maybe Jungkook didn’t like Jaebum’s scent? Newly presented omegas were really sensitive to scents. He still remembered the unease he felt every time when he had to leave his home. Jungkook didn’t come back that quickly and Jimin got immersed in the hustle and bustle of the party.
A little later that night, after he had laughed a lot together with Jaebum while having a nice conversation with some of his classmates, he decided to search for Jungkook. His best friend didn‘t come back again after he had acted so strange and left.
Jimin slowly tried to push his way through the crowd, hoping to find Jungkook accidentally. He passed a small group of people who whistled, laughed loudly, and pointed at someone.
”Eeeh… Jungkook is going pretty rough. I wouldn’t have thought that the shy guy has it in him. He’s basically eating her!” a voice said, a little too loud.
Jimin stopped pushing through the crowd. What did the guy just say? He turned towards the source of the tumult, his feet moving by themselves.
And when he looked around two of Jungkook’s classmates that he knew distantly, he saw him. Or rather both of them. Jungkook was standing there, with his back against a tennis table, someone between his legs. In terms of smell, it was an alpha. And they kissed passionately.
Jimin felt like someone was throwing a bucket of ice-cold water over his head. He broke out in a sweat, his omega more restless than ever. And when after a few seconds the two in front of him still didn’t stop kissing, he felt tears burning in his eyes. A large lump formed in his throat. He wanted to throw up.
His stiffness continued until the person Jungkook kissed moved a little and he could smell her completely. She really was an alpha, she smelled of a type of flower that he just didn’t want to think of and this smell made him even sicker. Something dark and ugly was spreading through his body. Jimin felt himself slowly losing control of his omega. He winced.
Wolves started looking at him, curious.
The two kissing parted - because of his noise, probably also from the smell of an upset omega. His upset omega. Jimin felt his face growing hot.
How embarrassing, why did he feel that way? He had to go home immediately.
Jimin turned on his heels and left the scene in front of him, feeling the looks of numerous party guests on his back who were allowed to watch his emotional outburst - he couldn’t call it otherwise.
He stopped at the street and tried calling a cab with shaking fingers. He has never felt like that before, he felt like dying right at the spot. Not only of embarrassment but because his skin was itching, he felt hot and also nauseous. Something wasn’t right but he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly.
„Jimin hyung?“ a familiar voice asked behind his back. Oh, he didn’t want to see Jungkook right now.
„Go away Jungkook. Hyung is just tired and feels a little bit sick. Maybe I had too many drinks. I need to go home. Please, enjoy your night out.“
He was painfully aware that he smelled distressed. Something that Jungkook could smell now that he presented. Jimin felt even worse after thinking that. What was happening to him? He just wanted to be alone and cry.
„Hyung!“ Jungkook said louder now. „Please stop. I can bring you home!“
„No, no I don’t need your help, I-,“ he began to say when Jungkook finally reached him and took his trembling hand in his. „Jimin-ah..,“ Jungkook whispered.
It hurt.
Everything hurt.
Jimin wondered why.
Or did he wonder? Did he? Maybe he knew already.
He violently retracted his hand from Jungkook’s hold. „Just let me alone. Please,“ he choked on his words. He sounded like he was weeping.
His head felt so full of everything, there was no longer a single clear thought that he could grasp.
Then he ran, leaving a surprised Jungkook behind.
As the lock to his home fell into the door, the loud click filled the quiet of the hallway. Jimin dropped the key carelessly on the small table and went upstairs to his room. Once there, he hastily undressed to step into the shower.
He had hopes that some cold water would calm the chaos inside him.
Jimin picked up his mobile phone, still shaking. Jungkook had tried to call him several times, leaving more than 30 messages by now.
Jimin hyung
hyung
Jimin-ah
please call back
What happened?
did something happen to you?
hyung?
Did I do something wrong?
Jimin's snorted when he saw this question.
Did I do something wrong?
Had Jungkook done something wrong? No. He hadn't. He had done what many others do when they are at a party.
Jimin watched his shaking hands. His wolf was still in turmoil, it felt like mourning. Grief. Jimin shook his head. He wondered why his wolf was grieving.
The last message Jungkook had sent him was "Please at least message me when you arrive home!"
He typed with numb fingers "I'm at home. Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong. I'll get back to you tomorrow. Have fun!"
Then he forced himself to put on a smiley face to give the impression that all was well.
The cold water in the shower was almost liberating, it felt good on his heated skin. Jimin leaned his forehead against the tiles and turned the tap to lukewarm water.
Eyes closed, he tried to take deep breaths.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. In his mind, the image of two wolves kissing. Jungkook's silhouette molded around an alpha. Shaky exhale.
The tears came as if by themselves and mixed with the water of the shower. After a few seconds he began to sob and his shoulders shook. Jimin cried his heart out, parts of it already swimming at his feet. It was freeing and it hurt and it was as if something was snapping inside him at the same time. Like the blow of a hammer that came down on him.
Jimin opened his eyes and took another breath.
He was in love with Jungkook.
The omega understood finally, finally, that he was in love.
How dumb could he be? It had always been right there, but he had been too dense to realize all these feelings for his best friend.
His best friend was an omega.
Fear overcame him, riding in the pain, knowledge, and little joy.
It was like a liberating blow followed by a free fall.
Jimin turned off the water, wiped his face with his hands, and stepped in front of the bathroom mirror.
Seeing himself naked in the mirror, which was already somewhat covered with steam, Jimin recognized himself for the first time.
He recognized a part of him that had been buried, buried deep by himself.
Something that had no place in this society, as far as he knew.
--
Is there anything more bittersweet than loving someone who doesn't love you in the same way? Everything Jungkook did was fascinating, as he grew more and more into his omega.
Jimin watched with a mixture of amazement and absolute horror as his childhood best friend became more and more attractive to him with each passing day, with each passing hour they spent together.
But Jungkook was in a relationship now, and Jimin was aware that he had noticed his own feelings far too late. He didn't want to interrupt Jungkook's first experience with love and relationships. The omega was sure that his feelings were not even reciprocated.
Jimin himself had not had a relationship yet, he wanted to try with Jaebum, but now he did not want to pursue that. Because he loved Jungkook. He loved him so much. And besides, he didn't know if he even liked alphas that much.
Getting to know himself this way was new to him. Jimin questioned all the feelings he had ever had for anyone in his short life.
All he really knew was that he had feelings for Jungkook.
And he was absolutely speechless in the face of his own feelings and the sheer amount of what he felt. Why hadn't he realized this before? These days, he felt like an idiot most of the time.
There were two sides to his feelings for Jungkook: Heartbreak - every time he saw Jungkook kissing his girlfriend in the school hallway and in pictures on social media, every time he talked about her when they met and his eyes lit up and he was excited to tell his hyung about her.
The other side was compassion - he learned very quickly that loving someone brings compassion.
As much as he wanted to tear his heart out every time he saw Jungkook and his alpha at school, he wanted to smile and fake happiness because he knew Jungkook would be happy to see him happy and accept his relationship. So he endured it, kept his mouth shut. That was the best way to keep everything like it was like it belonged to be. He didn't take any distance or time for himself. He just acted as if nothing had changed.
Jimin cared about Jungkook's happiness. His own feelings felt big but insignificant.
"Hyung!" called Jungkook, on his right hand Kim Chan-mi, Jungkook's alpha.
Jimin stopped as he saw the two of them trying to make their way toward him. It looked like he would be eating lunch with the two of them today. "Hey, you two!" he said, trying to smile as the two stood in front of him. "Do you guys want to have lunch with me?"
"Yes, hyung. Thank you!" said Jungkook, smiling broadly.
"Thank you, oppa," Chan-mi said, resting her head lightly on Jungkook's shoulder.
Jimin smiled even wider.
He smiled during lunch.
Smiled alone on the way to his next class.
Smiled as he walked home with Jungkook and Chan-mi.
Smiled when he talked to his father when he got home.
Smiled when he did his schoolwork.
Until he couldn't smile anymore and the tears flowed into his pillow as he lay on his bed, his knees pulled to his chest.
--
Time passed.
On his graduation day, Jungkook was obviously there as well. After the incident at the party, which led to Jungkook’s first real relationship, half a year had passed and now Jimin was finally graduating. With a very good degree. All this pent-up agony flowed into his schoolwork, made him one of the best of his class. Jungkook and Chan-mi broke up two months after that party.
Jimin spent the exact same time - two whole months - comforting Jungkook until he saw him kissing a boy – a beta in his school year – on the playgrounds where both of them met the first time. After that, he told himself to just carry these feelings around quietly and maybe never really express them. The omega didn't know if he would ever be able to tell Jungkook about what he felt whenever he saw him. His feelings were still huge, but by now they were often more ballast than something that lifted him up. The gentle ache of his heart had become a constant companion.
Sometimes he was in bed thinking about just confessing his feelings to his best friend. He encouraged himself to just do it the next day. But every time he looked Jungkook in the face again, with his big black eyes that held a whole universe, and his gentle calm voice, unlike any Jimin had ever known, he just felt his courage wane. The fear was too great to break a taboo and scare his best friend away.
After he got his certificate he went home with his mother, father, and younger brother. Jungkook joined as a matter of course because he was also a part of the family. Jimin’s and Jungkook’s families had known each other for so long that their parents also had a very friendly relationship with each other.
Jimin’s whole graduation day was beautiful. While they were sitting at the table together eating his father’s delicacies, the conversations were easy and simple. However, when evening fell and some beer and soju flowed, the mood became a little more reserved in some places.
This was due to one thing in particular: Jimin wanted to work for one year in his father’s shop in order to support his family but after that, he planned to go to Korea National University of Arts in Seoul. He would leave Busan to study Dance and Traditional Arts.
Jimin had hopes that in a new and bigger city he might finally find peace with himself. Maybe he could meet new people who were similar to him. Maybe he could finally put some distance between himself and his strong feelings towards his best friend.
„Okay, my dear. We will go to bed now,“ his mother said, standing up and reaching for her mate. „I’m so proud of you,“ she smiled and ruffled his hair, ducked down to press her lips against his neck, a short scenting.
“Eomma..”, Jimin whispered touched by his mother’s affections.
His father pressed a kiss on his hair and then they both went to bed, with a little waver in their step. Jihyun seemed to take this as an opportunity to say goodbye to the two as well. He wished them a good night and shuffled into his own room.
Jimin looked at Jungkook. Tiger lily made his heart ache.
„Are you also tired or will you drink some more with me?“ he asked his best friend. Jungkook smiled and nodded. „Of course I want to drink some more with my favorite hyung.“
„I would love to get some fresh air in my lungs. Want to join me outside?“ Jimin asked further, stood up, and reached for a bottle of soju. The omega followed suit while taking a soft drink with him. „Fresh air is a good idea. All that sitting, eating and drinking in one room drenched the air in a not so flattering combination of our scents..”
Jimin giggled. „You’re too sensitive with your nose, Jungkook-ah. Will you ever say that something simply smells good?“ he asked, a small slur showed that he had already drunk a few bottles of soju. He stepped out of his family house into a little garden and dropped into one of the chairs while opening his next bottle.
“You. You smell very good Jimin-ah,” Jungkook said, a bit shy as he plopped directly into the chair next to the omega. “Me?” Jimin asked, trying to look into the eyes of the other but Jungkook had averted his gaze into his lap, avoiding him.
“Do you have trouble with your hearing now that you got older?” Jungkook teased and finally looked into Jimin’s eyes.
“Brat,” Jimin smiled. “Thank you for the compliment.”
The night was chilly but inside of Jimin, it was warm after Jungkook’s words. Maybe he was a coward for feeling flattered by his words. But he took all the nice things Jungkook had ever said to him and kept them in a very special chamber of his consciousness. He no longer received compliments from his best friend that often. Not since he had presented.
--
The year as a temp in his father's store flowed through his fingers like sand on a Busan beach. A short time later, he began studying in Seoul.
Saying goodbye to his parents was easier than he thought. Even though Jimin had always had a loving relationship with his alpha mother and omega father, some distance would do him good.
Jimin was sure by now that he didn't care much what someone's subgender was. Nor which gender was next to the subgender. But it was a secret that he kept only to himself still. He knew that his parents wondered about his dating life that was non-existent but he managed to always be evasive about it.
When he thought of Jungkook, he still had butterflies in his stomach and his omega howled with longing. He had only ever been in love with one person. It was a beautiful burden and Jimin had to leave.
The start at the university was easier for him than he would have thought. After one semester, he had met some nice people who studied with him, found friends. One of those friends was Kim Taehyung. The two had a direct connection when they met in a class together on the first day of the semester.
They were the same age, and although Taehyung was an alpha, he seemed to reject the traditional hierarchies between alpha, beta, and omega, just like Jimin. Therefore, he was very pleasant to be around. Taehyung made Jimin feel seen and safe - especially when they encountered the other, not-so-friendly wolves at their university. Taehyung was the only person he had ever told about his feelings for his best friend back home.
Jungkook visited him in his dreams, was constantly present in his thoughts, and the two talked at least once a week. It was very important for Jimin to stay in touch.
Although a little more distance would have done him good - Taehyung had also advised him to do that after Jimin had poured out his whole heart for the first time after a month of getting to know each other.
But just the thought of locking Jungkook out of his life caused great discomfort. Jimin did not know why he had such a hard time with it, after all, the contact always hurt him, but he just could not let go.
--
Jimin rushed up the stairs to his apartment. He was way too late!
On Fridays he and Jungkook were always appointed to talk on the phone. After their chat, Jimin either had a cozy evening at the desk or on the sofa of his small apartment. Sometimes he went to a bar or club with Taehyung and his fellow students to dance and enjoy the student nightlife. Jimin was always looking forward to his friday evenings, no matter what he had planned.
“Hyung?” Jungkook asked after Jimin answered his cell phone. “Hey Jungkook-ah, sorry, I’m a little late in my usual schedule today. Was held up in the gym because someone blocked the equipment. No idea why every person on campus has discovered their inner athlete. The gym has been incredibly busy lately. How are you?”
After they had ticked off the obligatory topics of their Friday evening conversation - university, school, annoying chores, the asshole omega who was sitting next to Jimin in his Introduction to Mythology and Folk Lecture, Jungkook’s brother and his previously unsuccessful search for a suitable mate – a short silence followed.
“Jungkook. I know I have asked you this before, but do you know what you want to do after you graduate?”, Jimin asked and bit his lower lip firmly.
Hopefully, his permanent questions on his best friend’s future plans weren’t getting on said best friend’s nerves. Jungkook’s immediate answer was silence. After a few seconds, Jimin wanted to start speaking again but was interrupted by a soft “I’m not sure yet, hyung.”
The other sounded distant. For some reason that Jimin did not know, Jungkook was uncomfortable with the topic of his future place of study.
“I didn’t mean to put pressure on you. Sorry.”
Words spoken hastily into his phone. Sometimes, in moments like these, it was hard to talk to each other. That’s something geographic distance can do.
“But while we’re on the subject... I wanted to ask you if you could keep the weekend free in 3 weeks.”
“Wait, let me look at my calendar. I need a few minutes, I misplaced my bag.“
Jimin stumbled over his carpet and almost knocked over the small vase on the side table next to his makeshift sofa - consisting of a small mattress and 3 very fluffy, green pillows.
“Ah here. Okay, okay, I got it. So I haven’t planned anything for that weekend yet. Why should I keep the weekend free?” asked Jimin, now a little out of breath.
“I would finally come to visit you.”
“Really?” Jimin squeaked slightly and then cleared his throat loudly.
“Uh Sorry.. really?”
Jungkook laughed loud into the receiver.
“Really! I can no longer not visit my best friend in his new home! I saved extra money to buy the train tickets and to go to a restaurant with you. After all, it is a special occasion and I am so proud of you that you have done well at the university so far.”
Jimin’s face grew hot. His omega felt giddy and proud of the compliment. “Thanks, Jungkook-ah. That means a lot to me. I’m really happy that you want to visit me. Although I probably pay for the restaurant, I cannot let someone younger pay for my food,” towards the end of his sentence, the omega became quieter. He knew Jungkook didn’t like being reminded so obviously of their age difference and its implications for their behavior towards each other.
“You know I don’t care about that, Jimin-ah. I will pay for it. But we can discuss it unnecessarily again during the weekend when I am visiting you,” Jungkook shot back directly. The voice was a little strained, but Jimin heard his best friends smiling.
A few days before Jungkook came to visit him in Seoul, Jimin was in a constant state of excitement and nervousness. There were two reasons: First, the best friends hadn’t seen each other for several months and Jimin was giddy to finally meet the other again and second, they would also spend the nights on Jimin's small bed.
Moreover, although this was unusual for omegas who were friends with each other, they had not been physically close since Jungkook had presented.
The thought of perhaps getting to scent the other made Jimin dizzy.
Even if they did share a bed in Busan before, it felt different with the distance they had won so far. They were still wolves - Jimin was afraid that he would not be able to control his omega completely.
"So what? Then you finally show him what you have to offer him. Cuddle up to him, you are your sexy self, and BAM!” Taehyung threw his hands in the air and made some shooting sounds, “You have him wrapped around your finger.” Taehyung had tried to soothe Jimin’s anxiety.
"I can't just do that. We have been best friends since childhood. We’re both omegas. What do you think how surprised he would be if I made such advances out of nothing?"
"He would be happy. I still don't understand why you don't just honestly confess your feelings to him. The boy sounds really lovable and like you mean a lot to him. He is constantly worried about you, is absolutely reliable, and keeps in touch with you even though you are hundreds of kilometers away from home. Fuck status.”
„Taehyung“, Jimin whined, „I'm pretty sure Jungkook only sees me as his best friend. Everything you list here can also be done for close friends.. ”
Jimin sighed. His hands started to shake a little. "Jimin.", Taehyung put his hand under his chin, pulling his head up again. He hadn't even noticed that he was lowering his eyes.
“You are one of the most confident people I know. It's only when it comes to Jungkook that you suddenly become introverted. You should pay more attention to your own needs and finally talk honestly with him.”
Jimin's eyes filled with tears quickly. He tried to blink them away, but it didn't quite work. "I'm trying to work on it. But I don’t want to confess this weekend. My only goal is that I want to try to survive his visit undamaged!”
His smile, which followed was wide and genuine. Taehyung sighed defeated. They had talked about that topic a lot.
"Okay, I keep my fingers crossed for you. When will we meet on Saturday? "
"First drinks at my apartment starting at seven o’clock and after some beer, we will go to the club! Have you already told Namjoon hyung? "
"Yes, yes. He'll be bringing Seokjin hyung with him.” Taehyung grinned and nudged Jimin playfully.
"Do you think the two of them will notice someday that they are in love with each other?" A change of topics, which Jimin gratefully accepted.
"No idea. But for our poor nerves, I secretly pray that they will notice it as soon as possible ... I don't know how many more nervous looks and red faces I can take," said Jimin and rolled his eyes playfully.
Only a few more days and Jungkook would come to visit him.
He would be able to show him his apartment and introduce him to his friends. When he had told the omega during a phone call that Taehyung was an alpha who liked other alphas, Jungkook had been surprisingly open and relaxed.
Sighing, he looked up at the sky while Taehyung told him something about a student who had blown something up in the lab the other day.
It was as if every fiber of his heart longed for the weekend when he could finally see the other omega.