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The Doctor came back a year after Yasmin Khan, officer of the Hallamshire police force, daughter of Najia and Hakim Khan- died.
No one really knew why in the end. They knew that something was wrong, and that she wasn’t the same after that strange woman whisked her away- but they all knew she was hurting so deeply that every living moment pained her.
She left only a note behind, for one person everyone believed to be dead.
Even so, Najia made absolute sure that no one else read it- if only to honour her daughters wishes, though she so desperately wanted to see even just words on a page from her eldest.
When the Doctor returned, she had made up her mind to finally let herself love and be loved. To tell a great secret to a certain extraordinary human. To admit, finally and be free.
All did not go as planned. She turned up at the Khan house, thinking it was only a week after she left, expecting all to be as it was.
It wasn’t.
There was shock and fury, screaming, disbelief, sobbing, anger and sadness.
Always the sadness.
After Najia had ceased her shouting, and her throat opened up enough, came the letter. Oh the letter. The last writing of a now free young woman.
The Doctor accepted it quietly, in horror as much as grief that Yaz would leave a letter only for her and no one else.
And then she ran. She ran and ran through pouring rain, past the TARDIS, past the Police Station, past Ryan and Graham’s and past everywhere- always running.
Until she stopped. The rain cleared, as she came to the rock. It jutted out over the sea, a sure and beautiful scene for maybe one of the fam’s trips... Or not so.
This is where it happened, something in the back of the Doctors brains said. Where I lost everything.
She gripped the letter and sat on the edge, and shaking- she opened it up.
“My Doctor
I’m not feeling too good. To put it simply. I’m not the greatest at writing, but there’s no one to read this anyway so it doesn’t really matter.
I want to start off with I loved you. Everything about you, I loved. I loved that you cared. I loved your rambling and your stupid self righteousness and your social awkwardness and that you never once backed down to someone doing something you didn’t agree with. You saved so many people.
I wish I spent longer trying to learn how to pilot the TARDIS. Maybe I could’ve saved you. Maybe I would’ve been too late regardless. Maybe you were gone and doomed as soon as you entered that room.
I used to believe in Jannah. And Jahannam. Some of me hopes it’s real still, if only for me to see you one last time. Maybe my belief went with my belief in this life.
Maybe we’d be together there. That’s nice.”
Here, the doctor could see Yaz must have started crying.
“That’s all I want now. I want this to stop. I want to stop feeling like this. I want you. I want you back so badly. Everything hurts, I just need you.
I love you.
Yasmin Khan.”
The Doctor shuddered and shook. She let out a pained sob and wept. Her tears fell over the cliff, some upon the letter and some down into the sea. Waves crashed as she screamed out across the water,
“I love you Yasmin Khan!”
As desperate, as deprived as it was as she howled it to the unforgiving sky- it could never bring Yasmin back. She choked and cried and scratched at the dirt and underneath her finger tips.
She would never recieve a reply.