Waiting for the hint of a spark

by RandomK

Summary:

Second person point of view Neutral runs. Frisk

Chapter 1: No blinding lights

"I've been thinking. Is killing things really necessary? I… I honestly don't know anymore. I have a request for you. Prove to me… prove to me that you are strong enough to survive. Get here from the beginning, without killing a single thing…"

It's harder than it should be, trying not to kill anything. Or rather, anyone. You never really thought about how much your relied on LOVE, until you tried to go without it. Toriel kills you by accident, and that's pretty insulting, to the both of you, as neither of you wanted to kill each other, and an insulting downgrade of combat skills on your part. You get back at her, sort of, when you kill her out of sheer frustration that she is not allowing you to spare her.

"You... ... at my most vulnerable moment... To think I was worried you wouldn't fit out in there... Eheheheh! You really are no different than them! Ha... Ha…"

You reload, and just sit there for a moment. It's one thing to kill someone on purpose. An accident, is something entirely different.

Flowey had said something about saving last time, but you had not quite thought it was really possible to spare her.

You walk back into the house, and just look at her, dreading the long battle ahead.

You want to talk. But what is there to say?

You think about telling Toriel you saw her die. But… that's creepy.

In the end, you don't say anything all.

Flowey calls you out on it. Calls it by name.

Murder. Playing God. He also talks about kill or be killed again, a philosophy he seems conflicted about.

The worst part is, he's not wrong. In a world where consequences are able to be Reset, you had chosen to murder, in the hopes that it would allow you to make it out alive.

So why are you underground again?

Chapter 2: Or tunnels to

"Hey. Remember. DON'T kill anyone. …

I can't believe this is a real thing I have to remind you."

This no murder thing gets easier with practice. Sort of. With heavy use of the save and reload. It's still progress you are reasonably proud of.

Papyrus is not someone you think you could easily kill, unless you become dead inside. Or decide to kill everything here.

He is a little weird, but really nice, and can even knock you out. Not even Toriel managed that. He seems to be under the impression that you are some kind of dog, and that's unfortunate, but not terrible.

Then Undyne shows up, and you remember, that some monsters are worth being scared of, and this is definitely one of them.

They, of course, think Undyne is one of the coolest parts of the underground. A bit below Photoshop Flowey. They really seem to have a weird sense of humor.

You run away, and she just keeps chasing you. Not even running into the desert stops her.

So you kill her.

You kill her, and unlike Toriel, you don't feel particularly regretful. You should. Someone is dead because of you. Someone who will have friends and family.

You should reset. Undo this, go back, escape her properly.

You won't.

You have LOVE again, and this time the regret isn't strong enough to undo it.

Boss monsters give a lot of LOVE, and you have missed this, the feeling of being stronger, and faster, and not hurting as much. Because you have been battered and beaten thoroughly on this trip, and you can say you would kill to feel less terrible.

You should regret it, but you don't, and that in itself, is a terrible thing.

You've given up.

Chapter 3: Gates of white

"So killing people is ACTUALLY fine…?

Sure.

I'm glad we agree on the value of a life.

I've learned SO MUCH from you."

You've given up. You don't reset, but you make your way through the rest of the underground, inattentive to everything.

Asgore commits suicide. It fits the mood, more than it really should.

Flowey seems to be disappointed in you too.

You leave,you get a phone call, and you go to sleep.

When you wake up, you are falling.

You could lie in this flower bed forever.

He's right. You really can't do ANYTHING right. You are a failure.

You can't keep a promise.

Your not looking for a happy ending, so much as an ending.

Maybe, you'll have to be the one to bring it to a close

Chapter 4: Our hands

"You're not really human are you? No. You're empty inside. Just like me."

You reset

You reset and reset, looking for that way out. There are a lot of variables that can change, and yet the ending often stays the same.

It becomes familiar. You stop doing this, to look for a way out, and become curious.

Things really go off script the time you start murdering everyone you come across.

You almost go through with destroying the world.

You learned a lot about them.

Flowey was pretty talkative, as well.

It's probably not a scenario you are going to revisit anytime soon. You spend the next few loops, relaxing with Toriel and Papyrus.

So what if you are playing God?

You kind of are one down here.

There is no ending to bring. You always fall again.

Chapter 5: Clasped so tight

Well, I'll let you mess around. I know you'll come back eventually. And when that time comes…"

You fall, into a field of flowers. Again. What once was a strange place, is now familiar.

You remember how terrified you were, that first time. Now, it's oddly comforting. Your body lacks LOVE. You feel its loss, in the softness of your swing, and your soul.

You have no defense. No power. No money.

Nothing.

Nothing but you and me

But of course. You are never alone.

You walk towards the flower patch, wondering what Flowey will say to you this time.

He doesn't even bother to introduce himself this time.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

No, as a matter of fact, you do not. Nor, do you have anywhere better to be. There are secrets to find, variables to see. You are home. And even seeing it a thousand times under the same sun, a million moments of the same thing, it's worth it. There are memories here to live again.

It's something that is unique, about the the underground. The ability to live something again, and again.

And again. And again.

No one else quite understands, the appeal of timelessness. That no matter how many times you screw up here, you can wipe the slate clean. They might have impressions of you, what you did, how you hurt them, but few people know the truth. It's not like they don't encourage you, in their own ways.

Of course, one of them does not intend it to be encouragement.

It is no matter. There are plenty of monsters to play with, now that you understand how monsters play.

Of course, not everyone agrees. Particularly those who remember. Your pretty sure at this point, that if they could leave you, they would.

You have not yet learned how to keep promises. That doesn't seem to matter as much to Flowey. He just seems to appreciate how you explore the variables.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like what you desire at all. It is as if something that is there and part of you, but not originally yours, like a donated organ, successfully in tune with your body now.

It's not from the other in your head. They seem to have tireless patience watching what you do, but seem mostly content to watch.

No. This is more like the stories your uncle used to tell, of god in your ear, on the battlefield. But it's not a voice, it's wind, directing the aimless boat you are stranded on, giving direction and intent. You are not the captain of this ship, you simply work upon it.

Much as they might believe otherwise, you are not always in control as you seem.

It doesn't matter. Every moment will come again, until you do something to break this balance.

You are the only one who can break it.

You won't.

As far as your concerned, you could be here forever

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of I'll follow you into the dark