Work Text:
I’ve waited so long
I’ve forgotten everything.
Pain and fear
Have vanished in thin air.
And a morbid thirst
Darkens my veins.
- Arthur Rimbaud
He has lived a thousand different lives. In all those years, decades, one has ever had quite such an effect on him before.
He was ancient. A creature that defied time itself. The most powerful Grisha that had ever set foot upon the earth.
Why was he behaving like a foolish lovesick peasant desperate for a girl’s affection?
He pondered over all these thoughts and more, while he examined the letters Alina had written to her tracked friend. His fingers glided over her soft wordings, imagining it was him she’d penned them down for.
She was as devastatingly sweet on paper as she was in real life. Those glances she’d throw in his direction, those little stolen touches, for him. All for him.
At least he could find comfort in the fact that she wasn’t just some ordinary girl, she was his only living equal. His perfect opposite.
From the moment he’d known about her existence, it had felt as if he’d been ripped in half. He would’ve searched all the corners of this forsaken planet, just to find her. How lucky for him she’d been so close by.
But it was somehow also worse.
Aleksander slumped back in his chair, rubbing his tired eyes; he’d been going over these letters for the better part of the night now. It was a different, more unique type of torture, seeing those words that should’ve been addressed to him, be meant for another man.
Then again, said man was never going to get them. He’d make sure of that.
He felt his treacherous heart skip a beat at the realization. There was no reason he couldn’t pretend they’d been addressed to him in the first place.
Dear Aleksander,
Just the image of her in nothing but her nightgown, hair cascading down her back, sitting at her desk, the light of the candles illuminating her lovely face in the most alluring way. Their shadows greedily watching her.
She’d write down his name , her soft little hand pausing before continuing, biting her lip as she’d think about what to say next. What deliciously sinister secrets could his Sun Summoner come up with in the confidence of this private exchange.
Would she talk about her childhood, her fears, and desires? Would she ask him about his?
I’ll only tell if you do.
He would write something to make her smile, she was beautiful when she smiled.
Are you shining for me right now, Alina?
She looked even better when she was eager for his approval. Or when she desired his willingness to please her.
The memory of her lips on his was still fresh in his mind. He tried to recall how she’d tasted then; sugary sweet and airy, like spun gold; distilled sunshine.
Aleksander unbuttoned his kefta with practiced ease. The shadows gathered in his room were patiently keeping watch, shielding him from the world outside. Except for her. She was just barely out of reach, maddeningly close and far away at the same time.
Would she feel a pull? Would she know what he was up to?
He undid his trousers and reached inside to take himself in hand. Aside from the occasional tryst he’d never been one of those men ruled by his dick, even as a mortal. But now, since her arrival, he’d been consumed by an uncontrollable thirst.
Everything about her made him tick, made him feel addictively human. She hadn’t been shy about her desire for him either. He knew what people saw when they looked at him, either fearful or in awe.
Alina didn’t see him as a saint or a monster, she saw him as a man. A beautiful reflection in the same murky, unclear waters.
He gripped his cock tight, thinking about her, how she’d felt riding with him that first day he’d saved her. She fit right into his embrace, buzzing with her new found power, ripe with it.
Stroking himself languidly, he remembered how warm she’d been, how rapidly her heart had beaten. Or the look on her face when he’d performed the test on her, the beak-like point of his ring forcing her true nature to rise to the surface.
She’d looked frightened, sure, but there had also been a hint of exhilaration. She’d always known she was special. And in the moment she treasured becoming his only rival. His match.
For you. I’ll either kill them all or spare them, only for you.
I'll be your humble servant if you’ll have me, my brave little saint.
His hand sped up at the thought of her as his immortal wife. His intakes of breath became short and ragged. They’d be more than royalty, they’d be Gods together.
I love you, Aleksander. I’m yours.
He gritted his teeth at the assailing pleasure coursing through his body. They’d share the glory and carnage, feast on the riches in the daytime and each other’s flesh during the night hours.
I want you to take me. Fuck me. My shadow husband.
Still lost in his dark daydreams, he snatched one of the letters from his desk, crumpling it between his fist and pressing it to his face, hoping to catch some of her lingering scent.
He came in his hand seconds later, the piece of paper pressed to his lips in a mock-kiss, stifling most of his groan.
“Alina...”
The candle on his desk, the only light source in the room, flickered dimly. He watched the shadows on the wall dance; taunting him. It wasn’t enough. He’d need to sate his thirst soon.
A smirk played on his lips, his mind producing more images of the girl somewhere in the palace, fast asleep most likely, having not a clue what he’d been up to.
Soon.
He’d have to be patient.
Aleksander frowned at the mess he’d made and threw the balled up letter across the room, before rising out of the chair to go get himself cleaned up.
Soon.