Chapter Text
SATURDAY, JUNE 19TH, 10:43
INT. ALISTAIR’S BEDROOM, ALISTAIR’S HOUSE
The sun shines in the room as ALISTAIR sits cross legged on his bed, quietly strumming at his guitar. He laughs quietly to himself and looks up, ready to speak, but there’s no one there. He slowly looks back down, concentrating hard on trying to move his hands correctly.
He looks around to see a SHADOW creeping out from behind his bookshelf. They stand and stare at him - he turns back to his guitar, beginning to just play any chords he fancies, humming a little tune to himself.
ALISTAIR
La la la la la la la…
The SHADOW frowns, approaching him.
SHADOW
What's that?
A beat.
ALISTAIR
A guitar.
The SHADOW rolls their eyes, sitting down on the desk chair.
SHADOW
The song.
ALISTAIR
I don't know yet.
A longer beat.
SHADOW
You… Don't know?
ALISTAIR shrugs, with a small smile.
ALISTAIR
I'm making it up as I go.
The SHADOW looks around - not managing to be quite as threatening as SMALL ALISTAIR.
SHADOW
But what if someone hears?
ALISTAIR
Hears what?
SHADOW
You could make a mistake.
ALISTAIR frowns, completely confused.
ALISTAIR
I'm writing it.
The SHADOW scoffs - but ALISTAIR goes on.
ALISTAIR
I won't know if there's a mistake until it's done. And neither will they.
SHADOW
You shouldn't be writing. You have to go pick up your new meds in a few minutes.
ALISTAIR makes a few dismissive noises.
ALISTAIR
That's plenty of time.
SHADOW
Says who?
ALISTAIR
Me. Just now.
The SHADOW looks away as ALISTAIR starts to very loudly play random chords at the SHADOW.
ALISTAIR
Can't you hear me? Am I not being loud enough for you?
BRIANNA [O.S.]
Some of us have ears, you know!
ALISTAIR flinches, going quiet.
ALISTAIR
Sorry!
SHADOW
See? She has--
ALISTAIR keeps playing, back at his quiet volume.
ALISTAIR
We're making a joke because we're friends and we like each other.
The SHADOW frowns - sitting up to try and be tall.
SHADOW
How do you know?
ALISTAIR shrugs, still hunched over, but with a spark in his eyes.
ALISTAIR
How do you know she doesn't?
He keeps strumming, quietly beginning to hum a wordless tune to himself. He hits rough notes, goes too fast, trips over himself - but he keeps going.
SHADOW
There's no words. What's a good song with no words?
ALISTAIR
La la la la la la la
The SHADOW rolls their eyes.
SHADOW
You aren't Anaïs Mitchell.
ALISTAIR shrugs, still humming, as words slowly come together:
ALISTAIR
Seeing your eyes in a stained glass mirror
Has helped my life become much clearer
I don't hate you at all
So why should I hate me?
ALISTAIR stops playing, quite pleased with himself, as he takes a notebook off of his nightstand, beginning to scribble in it.
SHADOW
That's cliché.
ALISTAIR doesn’t even look up:
ALISTAIR
What's wrong with clichés? They're fun. And I like them, so...
He keeps writing for a short while.
PATRICK [O.S.]
Al! Get dressed! We're leaving in five!
The SHADOW looks ALISTAIR up and down - he’s still in his pyjamas.
SHADOW
What are you gonna wear?
ALISTAIR
Why are you saying it like a threat? It's an opportunity.
SHADOW
That’s so gay.
ALISAIR frowns at the SHADOW, deeply confused.
SHADOW
All the clothes and fashion and--
ALISTAIR
I’m not going outside naked. And I want to wear something that makes me feel good, so if you don’t want to help with that, you can be quiet.
He leaves the book and his guitar on his bed as he grabs a pile of clothes off his desk and walks right out the door.
INT. BATHROOM
ALISTAIR stands in front of the bathroom mirror, in just his binder and jeans. He holds a hairbrush as a microphone, dancing to himself as "Megasix" from Six the Musical plays from his phone.
ALISTAIR
Are you ready?
My bathroom, here we go!
He puts the hairbrush down, pulling on a t-shirt over his head as he does.
ALISTAIR
You must think that I’m crazy
You wanna replace me?
Baby, there’s n-n-n-n-n-n-no way
He looks in the mirror - the shirt is much too small on him, and it's one we've seen BRIANNA wearing multiple times before. He shakes his head at himself, taking it quickly back off.
ALISRAIR
If you thought you could leave me
You must think I'm naïve
Please believe me, there's
N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n
He holds a jumper up to himself, bopping his head from side to side.
ALISTAIE
Not sorry!
Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said
I'm just tryna have some fun
He looks outside at the shining sun, and shakes his head at the jumper.
ALISTAIR
N-n-no way
He puts it down, beginning to look through the rest of the clothes.
ALISTAIR
Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head
I didn't mean to hurt anyone
He picks up a floral shirt, sliding it on.
ALISTAIR
You can
LOL
You can
S ay "Oh, well!"
He begins to button it up, tilting his head at himself.
ALISTAIR
You can try, but I'm unbreakable
All you wanna do your best
But I'll stand the test
You'll find that I've
He shakes his head, taking it off again.
ALISTAIR
Got a heart of
Sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-one
He keeps looking through the pile of clothes he brought.
ALISTAIR
All alone, on a throne
In a palace that I happen to--
He quickly looks up to the mirror.
ALISTAIR
Only thing you wanna do--
Back to the clothes:
ALISTAIR
Too bad I don't agree, 'cause
I'm the king of the castle
Get down, you dirty rascal
He stands up, smiling, and pulling a t-shirt over his head as he smiles to himself, messing up his hair as he sings into the mirror.
ALISTAIR
All I wanna do, all I wanna do, babe is
Sing along to my favourite queen's song
All I wanna do, all I wanna do, babe is
Love me, love me
L-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-love
He does a little spin, laughing to himself.
ALISTAIR
No, no
I don't need your love, no, no
It's time to rise above, whoa, whoa
He grabs the hairbrush, going full diva mode.
ALISTAIR
We don't need your love
'Cause we're so much more than…
He takes a deep breath, doing character voices for all of them:
ALISTAIR
Divorced!
Beheaded!
Died!
Divorced!
Beheaded!
Survived!
We're…
He looks down at the pile of clothes on the floor - the blazer ELEANOR hated is sitting on stop. He smiles to himself and puts it on.
ALISTAIR
Six!
He smiles, grabs the clothes, and walks out the door.
INT. LANDING
ALISTAIR walks out of his bedroom, the clothes no longer in his hands, to see the SHADOW standing in front of him.
SHADOW
You're going out like that?
ALISTAIR keeps a wide smile forced on his face.
ALISTAIR
Yep!
SHADOW
You look--
ALISTAIR
Happy. Now I'm going to get my anti psychotics!
ALISTAIR pushes past the SHADOW, beginning to head downstairs.
SHADOW
You need them.
ALISTAIR looks them up and down incredulously.
ALISTAIR
Yeah, no shit.
He leans over towards BRIANNA’s door.
ALISTAIR
I’m going out with Dad. See you later.
BRIANNA [O.S.]
Bye!
ALISTAIR smiles to himself as the SHADOW gives him a hard look.
INT. FRONT HALL
ALISTAIR runs down the stairs, to where PATRICK is waiting at the end of the stairs.
PATRICK
Ready to go?
ALISTAIR
Yeah.
He hesitates for a moment, shyly looking down.
ALISTAIR
Do we just have to get drugs or can we do other stuff too?
PATRICK
Like what?
ALISTAIR awkwardly shrugs, self-conscious, but trying not to be.
ALISTAIR
We could go on a drive? Just hang out? Like we used to.
PATRICK
Sure. Don’t have anything else to do today.
ALISTAIR
You know how to make a guy feel special.
PATRICK snorts, and then overdramatically says:
PATRICK
I have nothing I would rather do.
ALISTAIR smiles, genuinely touched.
ALISTAIR
Thank you.
They walk out together, the door closing behind them.
Notes:
hi!!!!!! just a note: the song al is writing in this clip is a snippet of a song from one of the musicals i'm writing :)
hope you're having a good day/night when you're reading this!!! <3 <3 <3
Chapter 2: CLIP TWO: "Leave Yourself Behind"
Chapter Text
SUNDAY, JUNE 20TH, 16:32
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BACA
ALISTAIR walks alone down the street, headphones on. People pass by, going on with their lives, as ALISTAIR puts on a brave face, trying not to look too sad as "Move On" from We Are The Tigers starts to play.
ALISTAIR
Back to bleachers
Back to school
Back to walking through my old routine
And everybody plays it cool
While they tiptoe around, saying the wrong thing
He laughs quietly to himself, instinctively reaching for the phone in his pocket - but then leaves it there.
ALISTAIR
I remember plans we had and think that they're still on
And for a second I am fine
Then I remember that you're gone
He looks through the locked gate to the school and lets out a deep breath.
ALISTAIR
Now all my promises are lies I couldn't keep
He turns and keeps walking down the street, quick and looking at the ground.
ALISTAIR
Sometimes I call your voicemail, just to hear you speak
'Cause you aren't here, I miss you
Tell me when will you come home
I'm breathing
I'm alive
But I'm alone
He looks to his side - and there's no one there. He inhales and holds onto the breath for a moment.
ALISTAIR
But all my friends say that it will be okay
Because it has to
Because it has to
He slowly nods to himself, trying to make it true.
ALISTAIR
And I just have to do the things they want me to
Because I have to
Because I have to move on
He looks to a large poster on the side of a phone booth, advertising an open day at a university that happened a month ago.
ALISTAIR
Someone tell the unis I’m alive
And I might be going
He does sad little jazz hands, and then rolls his eyes at himself.
ALISTAIR
And, for the first time, I think I might want to stay
But what about your birthdays?
And your best friends
And all the things that you're supposed to say
He laughs, trying to smile - and then stops himself, allowing himself to be upset.
ALISTAIR
Now if I say 'I'm fine' enough, then I'll believe it
And if I block the voices, I'll stay right on track
And the counsellor might dismiss me
If I promise I know you're not coming back
ALISTAIR looks around as SHADOWS appear behind him, large and looming. People in the street walk on, not noticing them, but ALISTAIR does. He can't not notice.
ALISTAIR
But all my friends say
That it will be okay
Because it has to
Because it has to
And I Just have to do the things they want me to
Because I have to
Because I have to move on
The SHADOWS shrink down to the height of eleven year olds - or very short eighteen year olds. ALISTAIR closes his eyes tightly, holding onto his camera for dear life.
SHADOWS
Promise that you won't forget me
Someone has got to hold on to me
ALISTAIR tries to keep walking as the SHADOWS slink their arms around him, trying to hold him still.
SHADOWS
Promise that you won't forget me
Live and let live but don't let go
ALISTAIR exhales deeply, standing in to the side of the footpath, outside of the flow of people, as the SHADOWS surround him.
SHADOWS and (OTHER SHADOWS)
Promise that y ou won't forget me
(Promise, promise)
Someone has got to
(Someone has got to)
Hold on to me
(Someone has got to)
SHADOWS
Promise that you won't forget me
One SHADOW takes his hand, looking at him with a face of obscured grief.
SHADOW
Live and let live but don't let go
ALISTAIR takes a moment - confused, curious, and wanting to help whoever these things are.
SHADOWS
But all your friends say that it will be okay
Because it has to
Because it has to
And then he realises - these things are him.
SHADOWS
And you just have to do the things they want you to
Because you have to
ALISTAIR nods, breaking apart from them and walking on - the SHADOWS floating on after him, a chase made of fear.
ALISTAIR and (SHADOWS)
Because I have to move on
And in the silence now
(Promise that you w on't forget me)
I hear your voice somehow
(Someone has got to hold on to me
Promise that you won't forget me
Live and let live but don't let go)
Because I have to
Because I have to
He takes a moment to himself, and turns to face the SHADOWS head on.
ALISTAIR and (SHADOWS)
And though the memory fades
(Promise that you won't forget me)
I'll live for you each day
But still I have to
(Live and let live but don't)
But still I have to move on
(Promise that you won't forget me
Live and let live but don't let go)
They reach a door of a tall building, with several signs on the front advertising various businesses on various floors. The SHADOWS have their hands on ALISTAIR's shoulders, holding him there.
ALISTAIR and SHADOWS
Don't let go
Don't let go
A deep breath. And ALISTAIR walks in, shaking the SHADOWS off and leaving them in the sun.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO
ALISTAIR walks into the studio to see two very millennial looking millennials sitting with headphones on at a pretty professional looking recording set up. A large sign on the wall advertises the "BALLOON PODCASTING NETWORK", and there are several posters for various musicals on the walls.
HAZZA
Hi Al!
ALISTAIR keeps smiling, awkwardly taking the empty seat.
ALISTAIR
Hi!
LEE
It's really nice to meet you. We're thinking we're just gonna crack right into it today, is that alright?
ALISTAIR nods quickly, still desperate for validation.
ALISTAIR
Absolutely. I love your show, thanks so much for having me.
He's lying, but they don't notice. LEE adjusts the microphone in front of ALISTAIR, and then they begin:
LEE
Hello everyone and welcome to "All The World's A Gay-ge", I'm your host Lee.
HAZZA
And I'm your other host Hazza.
LEE
And with us today we have a viral Twitter sensation.
ALISTAIR scoffs, instantly embarrassed of himself.
LEE
Alistair Fletcher!
HAZZA
Al here wrote an absolutely epic medley of theatre songs to protest a very bigoted theatre company and the video is everything!
ALISTAIR laughs, stimming with the edge of the table as he tries to look cool and calm.
ALISTAIR
Thank you!
LEE
We always ask guests what their favourite musical is, so… Tell us.
They lean in secretively with a laugh as ALISTAIR's eyes go wide, panicked.
ALISTAIR
Well… There's just so many to choose from. But today, at this current time… We Are The Tigers by Preston Max Allen. It has everything. Women. Murder. Women who murder. It's absolutely hilarious and heart wrenching.
HAZZA
I've been meaning to listen to that show forever.
ALISTAIR nods, trying to force himself into his element.
ALISTAIR
You should, it's great.
An awkward beat.
LEE
Okay, Al, tell us. What's the backstory?
ALISTAIR goes on autopilot:
ALISTAIR
Well, Spotlight's had a lot of problems in the past - I laid it all out in the video--
LEE
Yeah, but who are you?
A beat. ALISTAIR awkwardly coughs, trying to make it work.
ALISTAIR
Well… I do a lot of things. Write, dance, choreograph, direct, do music. I'm trans. I'm gay. I'm mentally ill. And I want to have that seen on the stage and be recognised because the stage is my life.
A loud laugh.
HAZZA
I'll drink to that.
ALISTAIR uncomfortably laughs along, not sure if he's being laughed at or with.
ALISTAIR
And Spotlight - the company - was censoring us, so we protested that. I tried just talking to them about it, making petitions and stuff, but they didn't listen. So we made them listen.
LEE
Awesome. You used a lot of modern songs and stuff.
A beat. ALISTAIR squints - not quite understanding why they're saying that, but he keeps going onwards:
ALISTAIR
Yeah. I'm not really as into the classics as others are, personally.
A gasp - ALISTAIR flinches, scared of whatever may come next.
LEE
Not even Oklahoma?
He shrugs self-consciously.
ALISTAIR
Only the 2019 revival.
HAZZA
Obviously!
ALISTAIR
But I really love where theatre is right now, artistically. Just as a whole. I just love theatre.
Another laugh.
LEE
We all do here.
ALISTAIR nods, confused - obviously they do, they have a podcast about it.
HAZZA
Tell us, what inspired you to do this medley? Even to write it? I especially loved when everyone started singing along to "Unruly Heart", it was so sweet.
ALISTAIR laughs, getting more comfortable.
ALISTAIR
Oh, that wasn't planned.
A beat.
LEE
Seriously?
ALISTAIR shrugs, nervously looking down.
ALISTAIR
I was getting emotional and overwhelmed and my friends helped me.
Laughter.
LEE
Wow.
HAZZA
That… Is so nice.
ALISTAIR
Well, I love my friends and they love me. I wanted to make people pay attention and they were and I was just... overwhelmed. Because my classmates and I have been silenced for so long and... And they all went with it, luckily. And I did it because… Well, everyone has a story to tell, and I wanted to help people tell theirs. And I thought it would be fun.
LEE
Really?
ALISTAIR shrugs casually.
ALISTAIR
I wrote it in one night, arranged it with my friend, Destiny Williams, and we rehearsed it in a week.
HAZZA
Jesus Christ!
LEE
Only a week?
ALISTAIR nods with a light laugh.
ALISTAIR
It was the most stressful experience of my life. Recycled a lot of choreography.
HAZZA
Wow. I can't even imagine doing that.
LEE
And you call that fun?
A bit of mocking laughter - ALISTAIR ignores it, keeping his head high.
ALISTAIR
Yeah! Of course! The excitement kind of overrides the stress at some point. I would still do all this singing and dancing and writing and creating even if there was no one watching. I think that's what makes an artist an artist, you know?
LEE nods, pretending to look thoughtful.
LEE
Very deep.
ALISTAIR
I mean, art is a religion to me, personally.
He's serious, but he laughs a little, trying to be more casual - but then stops himself. He can be honest.
HAZZA
[jokingly] I totally get that. I worship at the Adelphi theatre.
ALISTAIR
I love taking pictures there! Especially before shows. Everyone's always so excited and so alive.
He smiles widely to himself, looking off into the distance with a dreamy look in his eyes.
LEE
God, I haven't been to the theatre in so long.
A beat.
HAZZA
We went last month.
LEE
I know!
Their voices slowly fade out to "When The Booth Goes Bright" from Amelie as we focus on ALISTAIR - who looks down at the bag he carried in, in which sits his camera.
ALISTAIR
What do you see when the booth goes bright
When the blinding light of the flash tries to find you
He takes his camera out of his bag, beginning to look through the photographs he's taken of people in their nature habitats.
ALISTAIR
Every photo, of every face, is a time and place
That you leave behind
There's the girl you were, there's your trip abroad
There's your father's smile, there's the face of God
His smile slowly falls as he sees a photo of an empty footpath, like someone should be standing there.
ALISTAIR
There is everything that you were, and you still wanna be
What do you see?
When the booth goes bright
He keeps looking through, at more and more people, as the photographs are projected onto the walls behind him - some smiling, some frowning, some completely blank, relaxed, unaware of being watched. Unprepared, not performative. Still life.
ALISTAIR
There's a girl from the factory and she's on your knee
Though you've known her a week
And your both so shy, but she makes you laugh
In that photograph, when she kisses your cheek
There's when she said yes, there's the next 10 years
There's the loneliness when she disappears
He shakes himself, trying not to think about it, as he breathes gently in and out.
ALISTAIR
There's the face that you still remember
Though no longer know
Where do you go?
He looks up at HAZZA and LEE, completely caught up in their own voices, as the colours from the photographs from his camera are projected around him - all of these people, all of this love.
ALISTAIR
What happens when the booth goes bright?
Where do you go when you're out of view?
What's the use in trying to hide?
Or tearing yourself in two?
When you leave yourself behind
Every piece becomes another clue
He lets out a breath and turns the camera around to have the lens facing himself.
ALISTAIR
Pull the curtain tight
And adjust the seat
Lean into the light
Don't forget to breathe
He snaps a photograph of himself and looks at it in the camera - himself shot with the same beauty he sees in all the world.
ALISTAIR
And if someday your travels should bring you to me
I'll see what you see
When the booth goes bright
When the booth goes bright
He slides his camera back in his bag as he looks back up.
ALISTAIR
When the booth goes bright
HAZZA and LEE look at him expectantly as he blinks, the song completely cutting out.
ALISTAIR
Sorry. I don't think I should be here.
LEE and HAZZA frown at each other, confused.
LEE
No, you're fine, you--
ALISTAIR stands up, gathering himself together.
ALISTAIR
You can do the episode without me, thanks. I'm not really... This isn't for me. Thanks, but no thanks.
LEE and HAZZA are speechless and shocked as ALISTAIR gives them a polite smile, and walks right back out the way he came.
Chapter 3: CLIP THREE: "Disengage"
Chapter Text
MONDAY, JUNE 21ST, 16:01
INT. GENDER THERAPIST’S OFFICE
ALISTAIR sits, with a very forced smile, across from a very cisgender GENDER THERAPIST, who’s scrolling through a computer. There are many biology posters on the walls, all with "MALE" and "FEMALE" written in large letters. ALISTAIR looks very uncomfortable as the GENDER THERAPIST turns back to face him.
GENDER THERAPIST
So. It sounds like you aren’t doing well mentally.
ALISTAIR nods quickly.
ALISTAIR
But I’m focusing on getting better. And I’ve been coming here for years, so... That has to count for something, right?
The GENDER THERAPIST glances over at the computer as ALISTAIR sits back up properly.
ALISTAIR
I’m eighteen. Isn’t that the age when I’m allowed to begin even the process of doing the paperwork to get top surgery?
The GENDER THERAPIST sighs, with fake pity in her eyes.
GENDER THERAPIST
You might not be capable enough to deal with it.
A beat. ALISTAIR blinks.
ALISTAIR
I’m asking to do paperwork.
She looks down her glasses at him.
GENDER THERAPIST
Al.
ALISTAIR
You said if I came back and my meds were working--
GENDER THERAPIST
You just started new ones.
ALISTAIR sighs, trying not to sound too desperate.
ALISTAIR
Please. Let me do paperwork. I am begging you.
The GENDER THERAPIST sighs, taking pity on him.
GENDER THERAPIST
I’ll give you a referral and we’ll see what they think you should do.
ALISTAIR
That's all you've done for the past few years. All I want is to do paperwork to begin the years long process of getting my chest cut off. A girl my same age could walk in here and ask for a boob job and get it instantly. What's the difference.
GENDER THERAPIST
You have to be sure. It's a permanent life change.
ALISTAIR
Yeah! I know! I want it to permanently change my life.
ALISTAIR laughs, deeply frustrated, and then takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
ALISTAIR
Do you think sixteen year olds are sure when they join the army? When they get married? I’m definitely a million times more sure than them. And they don’t have to do all of this stuff. Hell, they barely even need an adult’s permission. I need, like, ten.
A beat. The GENDER THERAPIST just look at him blankly.
GENDER THERAPIST
A referral is all I can give you.
ALISTAIR sighs, nodding.
ALISTAIR
Great. Love these chats.
He leans back in his seat, as we pan over to the door.
EXT. ENTRANCE, GENDER CLINIC
ALISTAIR walks out of the clinic, blankly staring ahead as he puts his headphones on, and a SHADOW comes out from behind a lamppost to join him, casually walking next to him.
SHADOW
It’s never gonna happen.
ALISTAIR ignores the SHADOW, walking on quicker - as the SHADOW matches his speed.
SHADOW
They’re just going to keep sending you around in circles because they don’t want you to be happy.
ALISTAIR laughs quietly, bitterly.
ALISTAIR
Yeah. I know. This shit is fucking transphobic and ableist and awful. But I can still be happy without doctors.
A beat. They both know he’s lying. The SHADOW squints at him.
SHADOW
Will you?
ALISTAIR turns sharply to them, snapping:
ALISTAIR
Yes! Maybe not a hundred percent, but still mostly.
A beat.
SHADOW
Why don’t you just go private and get a doctor to help you then?
The SHADOW laughs, soft and cruel.
SHADOW
Oh, yeah. Because you’re fucking poor.
ALISTAIR rolls his eyes, pulling the sleeves of his jumper down over his hands as the SHADOW scoffs at him.
SHADOW
You do realise this is the rest of your life?
ALISTAIR
I know.
SHADOW
Just a lot of signing things with the wrong name.
ALISTAIR
Not for long. I'm gonna get my name changed this summer, Dad said.
The SHADOW looks blankly back at him - as blankly as a shadow can look.
SHADOW
Waited long enough. Must not love you enough.
ALISTAIR pushes his headphones tighter over his ears.
ALISTAIR
Shut up, will you?
The SHADOW chases after him:
SHADOW
You’re never going to get it. The T.
ALISTAIR turns around, walking backwards with a little laugh.
ALISTAIR
What if I don’t want it? What if I just want to cut my tits off and then I'm chill?
SHADOW
Then you won’t be a man.
ALISTAIR sighs, shrugging.
ALISTAIR
Who says? Who says that some fucking hormone makes me any different than I am now? There are hundreds of thousands of men who don't have a lot of testosterone. Besides, I'm not entirely a man. I don't have to conform to a shitty ideology that's wrong. Both morally and scientifically.
The SHADOW looks around at the people also walking down the street, looking at ALISTAIR walking backwards, quite confused.
SHADOW
You sound crazy.
ALISTAIR turns around, hunching over, pulling his jumper out in front of him, trying to look “normal”.
ALISTAIR
If anyone else said this, we would say it's okay. So it's okay. I'm the same as anyone else.
SHADOW
But you don't feel like anyone else, do you?
ALISTAIR
This is the end of waiting. I just... need to wait a little longer and be patient. This world wasn't made with me in mind.
"The End Of The Movie" from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend begins to play as the SHADOW grows taller, their voice getting deeper as they both walk on.
SHADOW JOSH GROBAN
So this is the end of the movie
Whoa, whoa, whoa
But real life isn't a movie
No, no, no
ALISTAIR frowns, deeply confused, as he looks over at the SHADOW - who is losing shadow-ness to look more like JOSH GROBAN (note: he is played by the actual JOSH GROBAN).
SHADOW JOSH GROBAN
You want things to be wrapped up neatly
The way that stories do
You're looking for answers
But answers aren't looking for you
The camera dramatically swoops around as ALISTAIR keeps walking down various streets - dark and dingy, even though the summer sun is bright behind him.
SHADOW JOSH GROBAN
Because life is a gradual series of revelations
That occur over a period of time
It's not some carefully crafted story
It's a mess, and we're all gonna die
If you saw a movie that was like real life
You'd be like, "What the fuck was that movie about?
It was really all over the place."
Life doesn't make narrative sense
ALISTAIR laughs quietly, stimming nervously with his camera hanging around his neck as he does.
SHADOW JOSH GROBAN
We tell ourselves that we're in a movie
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Each one of us thinks we've got the starring role
Role, role, role
But the truth is, sometimes you're the lead
And sometimes you're an extra
Just walking by in the background
Like me, Josh Groban!
ALISTAIR looks over to the SHADOW, which is now, clearly, just JOSH GROBAN in dark clothes. ALISTAIR squints in pure confusion.
ALISTAIR
Why are you Josh Groban?
SHADOW JOSH GROBAN doesn’t answer, and simply sings on:
SHADOW JOSH GROBAN
Because life is a gradual series of revelations
That occur over a period of time
Some things might happen that seem connected
But there's not always a reason or rhyme
ALISTAIR sighs, walking ahead, dejected, as SHADOW JOSH GROBAN does some very enthusiastic hand gestures - very similar to the ones he did in “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”.
SHADOW JOSH GROBAN
People aren't characters, they're complicated
And their choices don't always make sense
That being said, it's really fucked up
That you blackmailed your ex-girlfriend’s mom
Who's your boss
With you and her daughter's sex tape
ALISTAIR stops walking, pulling in to the side of the footpath to stand outside shop window.
ALISTAIR
Please do not mention that.
The SHADOW shrugs, shrinking back down to its usual form and losing all Josh Groban-ness (because we will not be able to afford him for very long).
SHADOW
This is the rest of your life, buddy. Worked there for seven years and you're not even going to be able to get a reference for it.
ALISTAIR looks into the window of the shop to see a poster advertising a very shitty play about a guy who just got broken up with. It looks incredibly low budget, but with a lot of heart - and "What You Own" from Rent starts to play.
ALISTAIR
Hi, Alistair Fletcher here at Buzzline. Coming up next - vampire welfare queens who are compulsive bowlers.
A beat. He groans loudly at himself as he looks past the poster in the window of the shop to the bored and robotic workers behind the counter.
ALISTAIR
Oh my God.
He turns around, holding on tightly to his camera like it’s a life raft as he continues to make his way down the street.
ALISTAIR
Don't breathe too deep
Don't think all day
Dive into work
Drive the other way
He lifts his camera up, begin to film the world around him.
ALISTAIR
That drip of hurt
That pint of shame
Goes away
Just play the game
He looks around, completely surrounded by chain stores, people bustling in and out, going about their busy lives. And, for a moment, they all seem to be going in a cycle. One after the other, not even thinking about where they’re going. But ALISTAIR’s watching. ALISTAIR sees everything, through his camera lens.
ALISTAIR
You're living in America
At the end of the
millennium
You're living in America
Leave your conscience at the tone
SHADOW
In no way are you doing any of those things.
ALISTAIR ignores them, continuing his angst parade.
ALISTAIR
And when you're living in America
At the end of the
millennium
You're what you own
He looks down at himself - his scuffed camera, his ratty jumper, his dirty shoes. He sighs and walks on, the SHADOW mockingly following him.
SHADOW
The filmmaker cannot see
And the songwriter cannot hear
ALISTAIR
Yet I see shadows everywhere
And my own voice is in my ear
He looks behind himself, like he’s being followed - but he isn’t.
SHADOW
Just tighten those shoulders
ALISTAIR
Just clench your jaw 'til you frown
The SHADOW brings a hand up around ALISTAIR's neck.
SHADOW
Just don't let go
ALISTAIR and SHADOW
Or you may drown
ALISTAIR shakes the SHADOW off, walking quickly down the street.
ALISTAIR
You're living in America
At the end of the
millennium
You're living in America
Where it's like the Twilight Zone
He laughs humourlessly to himself, singing the higher harmony.
ALISTAIR
And when you're living in America
At the end of the
millennium
You're what you own
So I own not a notion
I escape and ape content
He holds onto his camera, looking down at it for a moment.
ALISTAIR
I don't own emotion - I rent
He sighs out a deep breath, and looks up at the world around him.
ALISTAIR
What was it about that night?
Connection
In an isolating age
For once the shadows gave way to light
He looks up to the sun, stepping towards it.
ALISTAIR
For once I didn't disengage
He inhales sharply, looking around at his taps his hands on his camera.
ALISTAIR
The shadows, I hear them, I hear it
I see it, I see it, them all
And I can hear the songs
One song glory
I need to-- I need to--
Fuck, I quit!
He throws his arms up in the air, walking off the path down an alleyway.
ALISTAIR
Dying in America
At the end of the millennium
I'm dying in America
To come into my own
And when you're dying in America
At the end of the
millennium
He turns around to see a large group of SHADOWS, surrounding him, almost eating him up.
ALISTAIR and SHADOWS
You're on your own
SHADOWS
You’re on your own
ALISTAIR glares at them, with all the power he can muster.
ALISTAIR
I’m not alone
ALISTAIR lifts his camera up - and smashes it onto the ground.
He completely snaps out of his dissociation, and we see that the camera is actually fully smashed on the ground. He breathes in and out shakily, looking down at it for a moment. And then he quickly walks away, scared of what he's just done.
Chapter 4: CLIP FOUR: "You Can't Ignore Our Trauma"
Chapter Text
TUESDAY, JUNE 22ND, 15:15
EXT. ENTRANCE, BACA
The MAIN SQUAD and several other people are getting organised outside the school, all holding large signs for a rally. In the middle stands ALISTAIR, nervously stimming with a marker as he looks around at SOPHIE walking at the front of the crowd.
SOPHIE
Okay, everyone, hustle up! They’ll be out any second.
BRIANNA
And if I have to deal with another fucking white boy today like last time, I’m just gonna hit him.
SANDY
With the sign?
BRIANNA holds their sign up - "HOW WE DRESS DOES NOT MEAN YES".
BRIANNA
Genius plan, Sandy, thank you.
LIZ turns to ALISTAIR.
LIZ
Hey, Al, are you gonna film this?
He awkwardly laughs, incredibly nervous.
ALISTAIR
Uh, no. Kind of just want to… remember this with my human brain.
ESTHER
Do you need to make a sign? Because we got multi-coloured markers this year.
THEO
Going up in production value!
NICK holds up a large cup filled with markers of many and varying colours.
NICK
I borrowed them from my little brother.
JAKE
And I don’t have to go to the doctor this year because I drove here.
RORI snorts.
RORI
Thank God you’re better at driving than walking.
JAMES
Fighting gay stereotypes one car at a time.
Everyone shares a laugh as a SHADOW creeps up behind ALISTAIR.
SHADOW
They don’t care about you. They don’t care.
ALISTAIR looks quickly around at the people surrounding him - and speaks very loudly and clearly:
ALISTAIR
I am feeling nervous.
All turn to him - he shrinks back into himself, scared.
THEO
What-- What can we do to help?
ALISTAIR sighs, stimming quicker with the marker as he explains:
ALISTAIR
I want to make a sign and join in because this means a lot to me and you are my friends, but I’m nervous about the fact that people I’m scared of will see and might get mad at me.
BRIANNA walks towards him, non-threatening.
BRIANNA
You mean Ellie?
ALISTAIR nods, as SANDY stands up straight.
SANDY
We got you. We won’t let her near you, okay?
She smiles at him - the protective love of seeing someone you once were.
ALISTAIR
But she’ll see .
ANNABELL
[serious] We’ll blind her.
ALISTAIR laughs quietly - genuinely considering it for a moment.
LIZ
How would we even do that?
DESTINY
Oh, I could think of a good few ways.
ALISTAIR
Please no violence.
A beat.
ALISTAIR
Also I don’t know what to write on my sign.
SOPHIE
Just write what you feel.
ALISTAIR
We don’t have time for the next great American novel here.
A laugh - ALISTAIR smiles, the tension lifted a little.
MILO
It wouldn’t even be American.
ALISTAIR
Still.
A bell rings inside the school - everyone turns to look at the school as the doors burst open.
ESTHER
They’re coming.
ALISTAIR looks around, deer in the headlights, as RORI steps forward to speak quietly to him, privately.
RORI
Take your time, Al. Take a second, take a breather, and you can join us when you feel ready. Or you can leave, if you don't feel comfortable.
ALISTAIR
Okay.
ALISTAIR takes a blank sign and walks off to over behind a wall. He looks around - no doors, no STUDENTS. He slides down the wall to sit on the ground as a SHADOW slithers up next to him.
SHADOW
You’re a hypocrite.
ALISTAIR ignores them, his head resting on his knees.
SHADOW
You were up there, yelling and shouting last year. What changed?
ALISTAIR shakily looks up.
ALISTAIR
I was doing it for Bree.
SHADOW
And you’re not gonna do it for her now?
ALISTAIR looks nervously around the corner to see people beginning to leave the school.
ALISTAIR
What if they say I’m lying again?
The SHADOW shrugs, extremely non-committal.
ALISTAIR
What-- What if Ellie uses this as a reason that I’m looking for attention, and then everyone starts to believe her again?
The SHADOW scoffs.
SHADOW
No one cares enough to have an opinion on this.
ALISTAIR
They did.
A beat. He sighs, looking at the empty sign in front of him.
ALISTAIR
It’s just… No one likes to hear about this stuff until it’s ten years later and you’ve gotten over it. But you don't just get over it, it doesn't just happen and go away. It's always there, even if it doesn't affect you as much anymore.
He looks down, quiet and ashamed.
ALISTAIR
No one likes to hear it when you're still going through it.
The SHADOW smiles.
SHADOW
And you're never gonna be out, so what's the point?
A beat. ALISTAIR frowns - not quite believing them anymore.
SHADOW
Look at everyone out there. They’ve been through so much. And you think you can fucking compare?
The SHADOW stands up, looking down at him, disgusted.
SHADOW
You’re just another spoiled white boy Bree needs to hit with a sign. Get over it.
ALISTAIR looks up, slowly shaking his head.
ALISTAIR
You… No. You sound just like Ellie.
He stands up, taking the sign and leaning it against the wall, beginning to write on it.
SHADOW
What are you doing?
ALISTAIR
The point isn't that we're all okay. It's about us creating a space to express all of the emotions we have in a safe way. It's not about them. It's not about some corporation or some way to make money. It's about us feeling safe together. And not about what other people think.
A beat. ALISTAIR turns back to them, rage simmering in his eyes, as "Wake Up" from Jagged Little Pill starts to play.
ALISTAIR
You like snow, but only if it's warm
You like rain, but only if it's dry
He turns back to his sign, continuing to write as he ignores the SHADOW.
ALISTAIR
There's no sentimental value to the rose that fell on the floor
There's no fundamental excuse for the granted it's taken for
He takes a step back, letting out a deep breath and looking at his sign - we don't see it yet.
ALISTAIR
'Cause it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
He looks down at himself, and then out at the STUDENTS approaching the protest.
ALISTAIR
To you
To you
He begins to walk towards the protest, holding his sign down as he tries to remain inconspicuous - and the SHADOWS grow and surround him.
SHADOWS
Ooh, this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind…
ALISTAIR shakes his head, stepping back into the crowd, as we pan to the front to see the whole range of the protest - and the song changes to "No" from Jagged Little Pill.
BRIANNA
My mind is invaded
My gates are ignored
My thoughts are negated
And you're on a roll
ALISTAIR tries to make his way through the crowd, past people filming with phones, young kids mocking, and teachers standing and listening.
SOPHIE
And I am offended
By your acts of shamelessness
SANDY
Your lack of conscience
And your flagrant steamroll
They all take a step forward, holding up their signs, SANDY with a megaphone - not looking at any of the watchers, just staring straight ahead.
BRIANNA, SANDY and SOPHIE
What part of no do you not understand?
Do you not understand?
PROTESTORS
What part of no do you not understand?
Do you not understand?
ALISTAIR starts to move to join the protest - but SHADOWS come out from the crowd and hold him back.
JAMES
My sorrow is laughed off
My rage is discounted
PROTESTORS
My fears are founded
This dam is no more
ALISTAIR turns around to face away from the protest, breathing in deeply, trying to keep calm.
ALISTAIR
Oh
ALISTAIR looks across the crowd to see ELEANOR watching the protest - and he freezes in panic as everything continues around him.
PROTESTORS
What part of no do you not understand?
Do you not understand?
What part of no do you not understand?
Do you not understand?
ALISTAIR turns around, ready to run, when he bumps into KAYLA.
ALISTAIR
Shit.
KAYLA
Hi, Al.
ALISTAIR freezes for a moment.
ALISTAIR
Uh, hi.
KAYLA
Are you guys protesting again?
ALISTAIR blinks.
ALISTAIR
Yeah, obviously.
KAYLA
Can… Can I join in?
ALISTAIR is taken aback as KAYLA sighs, genuinely apologetic.
KAYLA
I’m really sorry. For everything. For not noticing stuff, for-- For not being aware of my privilege, for… For not believing you.
She offers him a smile.
KAYLA
Can I join in?
ALISTAIR looks behind her, at the SHADOWS creeping up, and ignores them.
ALISTAIR
Anyone can. It's a free country. Bye.
They both turn and walk their separate ways i to the protest - KAYLA staying near the back with the others as ALISTAIR makes his way to the front with BRIANNA, JAMES, SOPHIE and SANDY, holding onto his sign tightly.
PROTESTORS AND (ALISTAIR)
Don't touch me
(Don’t touch me)
My body is frozen
(My body is frozen)
Thanks to you
(Thanks to you)
ALISTAIR looks out from the protest to ELEANOR, making direct eye contact with her - his whole body is shaking with fear, but he does it anyway.
PROTESTORS AND (ALISTAIR)
And I've sat with these secrets
(And I’ve sat with these secrets)
PROTESTORS and ALISTAIR
I'm no longer willing to
What part of no do you not understand?
Do you not understand?
ELEANOR turns, walking off into the distance as ALISTAIR is fully embraces into the protest, passionate.
PROTESTORS
What part of no do you not understand?
Do you not understand?
BRIANNA reaches down and takes his hand, squeezing it supportively as they look out at the people surrounding them together.
BRIANNA and ALISTAIR and (PROTESTORS)
It's easy not to
(What goes around
Never comes around)
So much easier not to
(To you…)
PROTESTORS
To you
ALISTAIR holds his sign up, his hands shaking, barely able to keep the weight up - but he still does it.
PROTESTORS
Wake up
What part of no do you not understand?
ALISTAIR squeezes BRIANNA's hand back, as we zoom in on his sign - large, scribbled letters that say "YOU CAN'T IGNORE OUR TRAUMA - WAKE UP".
Chapter 5: CLIP FIVE: "Take Care"
Chapter Text
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23RD, 17:08
INT. LIVING ROOM, ALISTAIR’S HOUSE
PATRICK and ALISTAIR sit on opposite ends of the sofa together, PATRICK petting CUSTARD, who sits on his lap and ALISTAIR curled up under a blanket as “Little Shop Of Horrors (1986)” plays on the TV in front of them. PATRICK is content, enjoying himself, as ALISTAIR is fiddling with the hem of the blanket.
PATRICK
I love the big plant.
ALISTAIR doesn’t look up from the blanket.
ALISTAIR
Yeah…
PATRICK looks over at him, frowning with concern.
PATRICK
You alright?
A beat. ALISTAIR hesitates for a moment, and then decides not to lie.
ALISTAIR
Meh.
Silence. PATRICK tenses, unsure of what to do, as ALISTAIR awkwardly tries to find something to say.
ALISTAIR
I think I might be hungry. And, you know, I’m still upset about the gender stuff.
PATRICK
Well… They want to be safe.
ALISTAIR rolls his eyes, letting out a deep breath.
ALISTAIR
They should want themselves to be safe, because I'm going to kill them all one day. Fulfilling the violent trans person stereotype, but hey, they deserve it.
The movie plays on for a bit, Audrey II moving around menacingly. And then a shot of Seymour - ALISTAIR breathes in sharply .
ALISTAIR
I don’t even know if I want it. The-- The T.
PATRICK looks at him - not upset, not angry, just confused.
PATRICK
Why not?
ALISTAIR nervously laughs, genuinely scared.
ALISTAIR
Just… It’ll really mess with my voice? And my body? And I would get really sweaty all the time and I hate being sweaty.
PATRICK nods, understanding.
PATRICK
I know.
ALISTAIR
And it’ll make it hard to sing for ages and my clothes will fit all weird and just…
He runs his hands through his hair, stressed out, as if his hairline is already receding.
PATRICK
If you don’t want it, then why are you trying to get it?
ALISTAIR shrugs.
ALISTAIR
It’s what everyone wants. It's what... I've always been told I should want.
PATRICK laughs, a kind smile on his face.
PATRICK
Mary Jane, you have made it very clear that you are not
everyone
.
ALISTAIR
I just want people to look at me and see… me. I don't want to have to work so hard for something that isn't my fault. I am who I am and... I don't know why I should do something I don't want to do to prove it.
PATRICK
You don't have to.
ALISTAIR scoffs, disbelieving.
PATRICK
Al, the people who matter will always see you for you. The real you. If they don't, then they're not your friends, and they're not good people. If you don’t want to take testosterone, you don’t have to. If it doesn’t make you happy, just don’t do it.
He shrugs, like it’s that simple - and, for a moment, ALISTAIR realises that it is.
PATRICK
You’ll always be my son. Unless you don’t wanna be, in which case, we’ll change. But you’re my child. That’s what I mean. And I'm gonna be here for you, even if I don't fully understand everything.
ALISTAIR smiles, genuinely touched.
ALISTAIR
Thanks, Dad.
A beat. The movie continues. And ALISTAIR watched Audrey on screen, bruises on her face. He tries to build up the courage.
ALISTAIR
Dad?
PATRICK turns to him, ready to listen.
PATRICK
Yeah?
A beat. ALISTAIR awkwardly laughs, looking away from him.
ALISTAIR
Thanks for watching the movie with me.
PATRICK
Well, you’re gonna be gone all weekend. I wanna spend time with you before I lose you.
ALISTAIR shrugs, the anxiety creeping back up on him.
ALISTAIR
We’re just going to an AirBnB, like, an hour away. It’s not a big deal. Just a friend holiday.
PATRICK
Still. I’m very proud that you can do that.
ALISTAIR raises his fists in mock-celebration.
ALISTAIR
Yay, the bare minimum!
PATRICK gives him a hard look - ALISTAIR stops what he's doing.
PATRICK
Imagine where you were last year.
A beat. He laughs.
ALISTAIR
In this exact spot, probably.
PATRICK
I know, but… Imagine where you were a few weeks ago.
He looks at ALISTAIR - they both know what he means.
PATRICK
You change so quickly. It’s hard to keep up sometimes.
ALISTAIR breathes out an ironic laugh.
ALISTAIR
Yeah, you can say that again.
PATRICK
I want you to know I’m proud of you. I-- I know it’s been hard for you, going to school, getting to class. But you’ve almost done it.
ALISTAIR
And then I’ll do it again for three or four more years.
PATRICK
School is just a tool to get to where you want to go. You don’t need it, but if you want it, you can have it.
ALISTAIR takes a moment to himself as PATRICK goes on:
PATRICK
You have a gift, Al. You have the kind of music inside of you that people spend years trying to find, and you’ve just always had it there.
ALISTAIR scoffs, looking away with embarrassment.
ALISTAIR
Stop it.
PATRICK
Learn to take a compliment.
ALISTAIR shakes his head, as "Nature Boy" from Moulin Rouge starts to play.
PATRICK
There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
PATRICK looks over at ALISTAIR, as ALISTAIR keeps stimming with the blanket.
PATRICK
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he
ALISTAIR shrugs, as PATRICK keeps on:
PATRICK
And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
PATRICK leans back, sitting in a very similar way to ALISTAIR - making him laugh.
PATRICK
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return
ALISTAIR looks over at PATRICK, genuinely listening to the words and taking them in.
PATRICK and ALISTAIR
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return
PATRICK smiles at him.
PATRICK
Let people take care of you sometimes. You'll burn out otherwise. How else are you gonna be like that weird guy who wrote the musicals about the ghosts that I like?
ALISTAIR blinks, and then laughs, amused and confused.
ALISTAIR
Dave Malloy?
PATRICK shrugs with a nod.
PATRICK
Sure.
ALISTAIR laughs, shaking his head.
PATRICK
You can be whatever you want to be. And you can do anything. I mean, they made a movie about an evil plant.
A beat. ALISTAIR’s laugh is still ghosting on his face, but he still looks anxious.
ALISTAIR
But what if I can't?
He looks over at PATRICK, terrified.
ALISTAIR
What if it gets too much and I can't do it and we're just wasting our money on something that doesn't matter?
PATRICK
Al. You don't have to worry about money.
ALISTAIR
I'm eighteen! I'm an adult. I-- I should be doing more.
PATRICK laughs to himself.
PATRICK
We both know if you tried to get a job, it would end up like this.
He motions at the TV, where Audrey II is overflowing in the flower shop. ALISTAIR doesn’t laugh.
ALISTAIR
Everyone else can do it.
PATRICK
Once again, you are not everyone else. You’re my son, which makes you fucking wonderful.
ALISTAIR laughs, shocked, as PATRICK goes back to sincere.
PATRICK
And not everyone has a job. Just because you're not doing the same thing as everyone else - it doesn't mean that you're not as good as them.
ALISTAIR
But… I feel like I have to.
He laughs quietly to himself.
ALISTAIR
It feels like my whole life I've been told I have to be all these things. And then I learn new things about myself but I can't adjust the expectations because they're what I should be. What I should want.
PATRICK looks at him. Really looks. ALISTAIR makes himself look back.
PATRICK
You can let go, Al.
PATRICK doesn’t move to touch him, but he looks at him with so much love.
PATRICK
I do not want you to be anything but happy. I don't care if you never get a job. I have money. Your mother has money. We can take care of you.
ALISTAIR
It's selfish.
PATRICK laughs, completely disbelieving.
PATRICK
We're your parents. It's our job to make sure you're safe and happy and taken care of.
A beat of silence.
PATRICK
You’re doing your best. I know that and you know that, but I need you to know that you doing your best will always be enough. I see how hard you try and it’s enough. You’re doing enough.
ALISTAIR slowly smiles to himself - he really needed to hear that.
ALISTAIR
Dad?
PATRICK
Yeah?
ALISTAIR folds the edges of the blanket over and over and over.
ALISTAIR
You-- You remember how I talked about all that stuff at the showcase?
PATRICK
Yeah.
ALISTAIR
And… I kind of mentioned having to do things I didn’t want to do?
PATRICK sits up, fully paying attention, protective.
PATRICK
What happened?
ALISTAIR
I don’t know if I can talk about it yet. It scares me. How much… How much is in my head. It feels like I’m drowning all the time.
PATRICK looks at him, his eyes softening.
PATRICK
It’s okay. You don’t have to tell anyone anything you don’t want to. But you can tell me whatever you want.
ALISTAIR sits up, awkwardly laughing.
ALISTAIR
I tried to do something like it before. And… Long story short, I had a meltdown and I got… manhandled, I guess? And I’m really scared of ever being vulnerable like that again because I’m scared someone will hurt me.
PATRICK
Was it Ellie?
ALISTAIR
Louise. She, like, grabbed me and pushed me and stuff.
PATRICK blinks rapidly, going quiet.
PATRICK
An adult woman… She is the most disgusting human being--
ALISTAIR shakes his head, trying to make it not a big deal.
ALISTAIR
It’s fine. I was being--
PATRICK shakes his head quickly.
PATRICK
This is not your fault. Don’t you ever think that that was your fault, okay? I know you want everything to be okay, but sometimes it isn’t. And that’s okay. Fucked up things happen and sometimes people are bad.
His voice breaks - ALISTAIR is completely taken aback.
PATRICK
I… How could you look at a child… A child your child’s age and do something like that…
He shakes his head, looking away as ALISTAIR laughs quietly to himself.
ALISTAIR
I mean, I ruined her business. So that’s kind of the best justice I could ask for.
PATRICK looks up, wiping his eyes.
PATRICK
What about the police?
ALISTAIR rolls his eyes, giving PATRICK a look.
ALISTAIR
Dad. Come on.
An awkward beat.
ALISTAIR
I-- I told Claire. My new therapist. So I’m working on coming to terms with it. I just don’t want any of that to be an active part of my life anymore.
PATRICK looks at him, shaking his head.
PATRICK
I don’t know how you do it.
ALISTAIR tilts his head, confused.
ALISTAIR
What?
PATRICK
You have life through all of these things at you, but… You’re still going.
ALISTAIR
Despite my best efforts.
PATRICK
It’s your own effort that’s keeping you alive. And I need you to know that you being alive is enough to make me the proudest man alive.
A beat. ALISTAIR opens his mouth to say something, when piano music begins to play on the TV - "Suddenly Seymour" from Little Shop of Horrors. ALISTAIR looks at it and smiles, suddenly comforted.
ALISTAIR
This is your favourite part, Dad.
PATRICK looks over.
PATRICK
Oh, the love song?
ALISTAIR nods, and they begin to watch in silence. ALISTAIR looks over at PATRICK, who’s trying to subtly wipe his eyes again. ALISTAIR sways his head from side to side beginning to quietly sing along with the TV.
ALISTAIR
Show me your face
As clean as the morning
I know things were bad
But now they're okay
PATRICK laughs and begins to sing along with him:
ALISTAIR and PATRICK
Suddenly Seymour
Is standing beside you
You don't need no makeup
You don't have to pretend
ALISTAIR mimes playing the piano on the air in front of him - PATRICK laughs, so deeply proud that ALISTAIR can feel it in his bones.
ALISTAIR and PATRICK
Suddenly Seymour
Is here to provide you
Sweet understanding
Seymour's your friend
ALISTAIR
Nobody ever
Treated me kindly
Mama left early
Father was poor
He puts on the thick Audrey accent to try and make PATRICK laugh - and he does, making ALISTAIR smile widely.
ALISTAIR
I'd meet a man and I'd
Follow him blindly
He'd snap his fingers
Me, I'd say, sure
PATRICK nods, a little confused, as ALISTAIR laughs.
ALISTAIR
This is your favourite song and you don’t know the words?
PATRICK
Hush!
They keep singing:
ALISTAIR and PATRICK
Suddenly Seymour
Is standing beside me
He don't give me orders,
He don't condescend
PATRICK goes very deep - ALISTAIR laughs a little, just messing around.
ALISTAIR and PATRICK
Suddenly Seymour
Is here to provide me
Sweet understanding
Seymour's my friend
ALISTAIR turns dramatically from side to side, going full comedy-actor - laughing his head off all while doing it, and PATRICK only encouraging it.
ALISTAIR
Tell me this feeling
Last for forever
Tell me the bad times
Are clean washed away
Please understand
That it's still strange and frightening
For losers like I am
It so hard to say
They over-dramatically sing along, ALISTAIR giving a mock-heart wrenching performance as PATRICK chokes out words between laughter as they roll around the sofa together.
ALISTAIR and (PATRICK)
Suddenly Seymour
(Suddenly Seymour)
He purified me
(He purified you)
Suddenly Seymour
(Suddenly Seymour)
Showed me I can
(Yes, you can)
Learn how to be more
The person inside me
(You-ooh-ooh)
ALISTAIR kicks the blanket off of them as they laugh.
ALISTAIR and PATRICK
Sweet understanding
Sweet understanding
Sweet understanding
Sweet understanding
With sweet understanding
Seymour's my friend
The song finishes on screen, beautiful and triumphant as ALISTAIR smiles, just enjoying himself as they laugh - and both start to applaud to themselves.
PATRICK
It's good to see you smiling.
ALISTAIR
I smile all the time.
PATRICK
Really smiling.
A beat.
PATRICK
Oh, I'm tired now. I'm gonna go get a drink. You want anything?
PATRICK stands up as ALISTAIR nods.
ALISTAIR
Water, please.
PATRICK
I'll put it in a wine glass. We'll have a fancy night.
ALISTAIR laughs as PATRICK walks out to the kitchen. And, for a moment, he’s alone. He looks around the room, at the blanket on the ground, the TV in front of him. And"To Have A Home" from A Very Potter Sequel starts to play.
ALISTAIR
Home
I've heard the word before
It's never meant much more
Than just a thing I've never had
He takes a moment to himself, having a look around - and he's completely comfortable.
ALISTAIR
A place
They say, hey, know your place
But I've never had a place to even know
Or a face that I could go to
If I needed someone there…
He looks down at his phone and picks it up to see messages flooding the MAIN SQUAD group chat - asking when are they meeting up tomorrow, what everyone will be bringing on the weekend, what they should all pack. In an @’d message, RORI has asked ALISTAIR to bring himself, with many people agreeing with her underneath. ALISTAIR laughs quietly - needed .
ALISTAIR
I'm laughing
It's hard to hide a smile
My god, it's been a while
Since I have had a reason to
He leans back, smiling to himself and lightly shaking his head.
ALISTAIR
To think
It's been here all along
Somewhere to belong
And a reason
A something to believe in…
He lets out a breath, struck by the casual happiness he’s feeling.
ALISTAIR
I've finally found it
A place where I'm wanted…
This must be how it feels
To have a home
He looks up at the photograph of his younger self and PATRICK on the mantlepiece, now sitting in a fresh frame.
ALISTAIR
I used to dream about it
But never schemed or counted
On fantasies or wishes
It breaks a man to see what he misses
And so many nights I'd pray
For a better life, and a better day
But I never thought that it'd come true
It's finally here and I don't know what to do…
He laughs quietly to himself, breathing in and out.
ALISTAIR
And I'm trying not to cry
This must be how it feels
To have a home
PATRICK walks back in, holding a can of Coke and water in a wine glass. He hands ALISTAIR the glass - he laughs quietly to himself - and PATRICK sits back down. They keep watching the movie, ALISTAIR glancing down at his phone, at PATRICK, everywhere.
The sun is streaming in through the window, and the room is golden. The SHADOWS still sit, though, watching and waiting. But the sun is so bright that they’re barely visible, and the TV lights up the darker parts of the room. PATRICK laughs at a joke from the movie, and ALISTAIR laughs too.
ALISTAIR
I've finally made it
I've hoped and I've waited
And for the first time in my life
I don't feel so alone
My heart starts to heal
To know this is real
This is how it must feel
To have a home
He moves about comfortably, breathing in deeply as he relaxes - after all this time, he's finally found his home. PATRICK holds up his Coke can in a toast, and ALISTAIR joins in with his water. Clink clink. Cheers.
Chapter 6: CLIP SIX: "Make It Through"
Chapter Text
THURSDAY, JUNE 24TH, 21:21
INT. LIVING ROOM, JAMES'S APARTMENT
The floor is no longer visible. It's covered in blow up mattress, blankets, sleeping bags, duvets, pillows, the lot. Across it all sit the MAIN SQUAD - all in comfy clothes/pyjamas as "The Empire Strikes Back" plays, already more than halfway through. There are snacks lying around - popcorn, sweets and crisps - and many half-full cups. ALISTAIR is leaning against the wall, a stuffed toy dog in his lap as "One Big Bed" from Not Another D&D Podcast begins to play.
ALISTAIR
Weary mage
Fighter lost
Broke your back
At what cost?
ALISTAIR, JAMES, ESTHER, RORI and THEO
The world ain't kind
But that's alright
'Cause I am here
With you tonight
ALISTAIR smiles to himself, petting the stuffed dog's head in beat to the song.
ALISTAIR
So lay down your head
Next to me, one big bed
If you need some company
I won't hog the sheets
And I won't grind my teeth
You can sleep as deep as you need
When morning arrives
I will be by your side
With some breakfast and coffee
The days may be long
But if you can hang on
The nights could be so sweet
He looks around at his friends - ESTHER half asleep on SANDY's shoulder; SOPHIE, DESTINY, RORI and BRIANNA taking turns throwing popcorn into each other's mouth; ANNABELL, THEO, MILO, JAKE and JAMES all paying attention to the movie, and NICK sitting next to ALISTAIR, scrolling through their phone. He laughs to himself, and leans over to show ALISTAIR a Minecraft meme. ALISTAIR laughs.
ALISTAIR
The roads are long
The forests thick
The bandits cruel
And the necromancer’s sick
ALISTAIR, JAMES, ESTHER, RORI and THEO
The world don't care
What you lack
But I will protect
You from attack
ALISTAIR smiles to himself, making the stuffed dog do a little dance in front of him - NICK lets out a laugh, pleasantly amused, as we pan around the calm room.
ALL
So lay down your head
Next to me, one big bed
If you need some company
I won't hog the sheets
And I won't grind my teeth
You can sleep as deep as you need
When morning arrives
I will be by your side
With some breakfast and coffee
The days may be long
But if you can hang on
The nights could be so sweet
We focus on the dog for a moment, and when we look up, the film is paused on the credits. Everyone is gathered around a coffee table and two chairs pressed together to make another table. On it sits a cake, looking fresh and all cut up as everyone but ALISTAIR holds a slice - ALISTAIR holds a glass of water instead, very pleased.
ANNABELL
James, this is fucking great.
JAMES
Thanks!
SANDY thoughtfully swirls her fork around like a wine glass.
SANDY
It tastes like if a chocolate orange decided to go buckwild.
JAMES
That’s the aim, I guess?
He smiles to himself, secretly proud of himself.
JAMES
I’ll get better when I start my apprenticeship.
ESTHER
You got in already?
JAMES nods, grinning widely.
JAMES
Yeah. I’m gonna be an actual baker!
RORI
And we get to help taste-test all of your creations, right?
Laughter all around.
JAMES
Who else?
BRIANNA
We’re gonna be hard-working uni students, we need the nutrients.
NICK scoffs, jokingly rolling their eyes.
NICK
Imagine going to uni. What a nerd move!
MILO
I know, right?
They share a high five.
SOPHIE
Imagine having to choose between getting a job or going to uni. I, like many things in my life, choose to do both.
More laughter - casual and easy.
THEO
I had no choice in the matter, but I am doing both, and you can all attest to my lattes. I'm a coffee artist.
LIZ
Isn’t that just what choosing what to do with the rest of your life is all about?
RORI
I have no idea what that means, but you’re absolutely right.
LIZ
Like, with your socio-economic stand point, you don’t really have a choice in what you can do, because of money.
A beat. Everyone looks at LIZ for a moment, surprised.
ESTHER
I’m so proud of you, you read that PDF I sent you.
More laughter as LIZ nods, completely genuine.
LIZ
It was really interesting.
ALISTAIR looks around at his laughing friends, their faces bright with merriment and good health. He takes his camera and goes to take a picture, but then stops. He sets a timer and sets his camera back behind him, and takes a photo of everyone - himself included. He takes his camera back and looks at it.
ALISTAIR
Huh.
JAKE
What did you say?
ALISTAIR
Nothing, just…
He looks around at all of them, embarrassingly earnest.
ALISTAIR
This is what being happy feels like.
ANNABELL snorts.
ANNABELL
How can you not be happy when we’re watching Star Wars?
ALISTAIR
First of all, I am actually enjoying this. I like the space twink and his sister
.
BRIANNA
Wonder why.
Laughter fills the air - ALISTAIR holds a hand up, controlling it.
ALISTAIR
Second of all, I’m happy because all of you seem happy and I love all of you very, very much and want you to know that.
A beat. They all look at him, shocked by the sincerity, but they don’t laugh. They smile. They love him too, and he knows it. And "Not Alone" from A Very Potter Musical begins to play, as we delicately pan around the room.
SANDY
I've been alone
Surrounded by darkness
I've seen how heartless
The world can be
ALISTAIR smiles, the song warm and nostalgic as he listens to it truly and deeply, with no irony.
LIZ
I've seen you crying
You felt like it's hopeless
I'll always do my best
To make you see
JAKE
Baby, you're not alone
'Cause you're here with me
JAKE bumps ALISTAIR’s shoulder with his own and ALISTAIR laughs.
JAKE
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
'Cause nothing can keep me from
JAKE and BRIANNA
Loving you
BRIANNA
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through…
BRIANNA gives him a smile and a knowing nod - a nod of solidarity - as ALISTAIR nods back.
NICK and (ALISTAIR)
Now I know it ain't easy
(No, it ain’t easy)
But it ain't hard trying
(It’s so hard trying)
Every time I see you smiling
And I feel you so close to me…
(And you tell me:)
Voices come together - no harmonies, nothing practised. In ALISTAIR’s head, he can finally imagine something less than perfect. But it is still perfect - just not technically. The feeling, the family, the familiarity… It’s enough.
ALL
Baby, you're not alone
'Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
'Cause nothing can keep me from loving you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through…
The music builds up, as there's a moment of worry with all of them.
THEO
I still have trouble
I trip and stumble
THEO and JAMES
Trying to make sense of things sometimes…
ESTHER
I look for reasons
But I don't need 'em
ESTHER and RORI
All I need is to look in your eyes
ALISTAIR
And I realize…
They nod along, all singing like they’re at a campfire, just messing around and perfectly themselves. Moving individually, singing off key, whole, entire people on their own. How ALISTAIR now sees them.
ALL
Baby, I'm not alone
'Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna take us down
'Cause nothing can keep me from loving you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through…
It don't matter what'll come to be
You know our love is all we need
Our love is all we need
To make it through…
ALISTAIR smiles, deeply content, as he snuggles up with a pile of blankets, resting his head on one of them. The room gets progressively darker as times passes by, hours going by in just seconds. JAKE nudges him.
JAKE
Al? Hey, Al? Are you sleeping?
ALISTAIR blinks awake, rubbing his eyes to see the TV now playing the credits of “Return of the Jedi” and a large plate sitting on the coffee table covered in biscuit crumbs, with one biscuit left on it that says “ALISTAIR” in white icing.
ALISTAIR
No. I was just... resting my eyes.
THEO
For two hours?
BRIANNA
You were totally sleeping.
ALISTAIR yawns as they point and laugh at him.
ALISTAIR
Not fair. Esther fell asleep too!
ESTHER
Oh, you wanna throw me under the bus? I stayed awake.
SANDY
Did you?
ESTHER goes quiet for a moment.
ESTHER
Mostly. It’s almost midnight, I’m tired. Let me live.
RORI and NICK
Nerd!
They gasp, looking at each other.
RORI and NICK
Jinx!
DESTINY
[to ALISTAIR] You missed the whole last movie.
ALISTAIR
I can guess what happened. The stars went to war, blah blah blah...
DESTINY flips him off with a laugh.
SOPHIE
Well, we got a big day planned tomorrow.
RORI
Not until the evening.
NICK
Excuse me? Did you forget afternoon ‘Spoons?
LIZ
We are the worst kinds of teenagers.
SANDY
It’s prom day. We can be obnoxious and do literally anything we want.
THEO
Like what?
A beat. Everyone takes a moment to think of what to do with their first brief taste of adult life.
RORI
Go around to every spot in this city that people take cheesy Instagram pictures at and have a photoshoot.
MILO
Request that the DJ plays “What’s New Pussycat?” twenty times.
JAKE nudges ALISTAIR again.
JAKE
Start another flashmob to destroy more shitty people’s lives?
ALISTAIR lets out a laugh, shaking his head.
ALISTAIR
No. I think we’ve done that enough for one month.
A beat. He quietly begins to explain himself, as "Dance With You" from The Prom starts to play.
ALISTAIR
I don't want to start a riot
When I’ve already blazed a trail
I’m sick of being a symbol
And a cautionary tale
I don't want to be a scapegoat
For people to oppose
What I want is simple
As far as wanting goes
He looks around at all of his friends, and shrugs, modest and honest.
ALISTAIR
I just wanna dance with you
Let the whole world melt away
And dance with you
Who cares what other people say?
And when we're through
No one can convince us we were wrong
All it takes is you and me
And a song
He gets a lot of warm, kind smiles, as the song kicks up - everyone agreeing.
SOPHIE
I don't need a big production
Streamers hanging in the air
DESTINY
I don't need to spend the night
With confetti in my hair
ANNABELL
I don't need a room of people
That I don't really know
Some laughter - comfortable, comfortable, comfortable.
MILO
I just want to hold you
And never let you go
MILO kisses the top of NICK’s head, as everyone comes together:
ALL
I just wanna dance with you
Let the whole world melt away
And dance with you
Who cares what other people say?
And when we’re through
JAMES
No one can convince us we were wrong
He looks over at LIZ adoring, as she finishes a homemade biscuit with her name iced on it with a smile.
JAMES and LIZ
All it takes is you and me
And a song
BRIANNA
Two people swaying slowly
Nothing more and nothing less
RORI
Why anybody fears that
Is anybody's guess
RORI takes BRIANNA’s hand, holding it tightly as BRIANNA brings their hands to her lips and kisses them - ALISTAIR smiles around the room, just taking all of it in in pure joy.
ALL
I just wanna dance with you
Let the whole world melt away
And dance with you
Who cares what other people say?
And when we're through
No one can convince us we were wrong
All it takes is you and me
And a song
And they all go back to chatting, talking over each other, laughing and joking, and, as ALISTAIR talks and laughs, he is entirely present. For once, what’s past is past and he breathes in the warm air of friendship. As does everyone else in the room. It’s a universe in a shitty, mouldy, overcharged apartment, and they don’t need anything else.
Chapter 7: CLIP SEVEN: "A Night To Remember"
Chapter Text
FRIDAY, JUNE 25TH, 18:30
INT. SPARE ROOM, JAMES’S APARTMENT
ALISTAIR is stressfully pacing the very small room, tapping his fingers together as BRIANNA stands by the closed door, looking between him and the dress bag sitting on the mattress.
BRIANNA
Al, slow down, you’re gonna pace a hole in the floor.
ALISTAIR quickly shakes his head.
ALISTAIR
I-- I can’t do this. I can’t. I’m gonna die.
BRIANNA
You’re not. Calm down. What’s wrong?
ALISTAIR points at the dress bag.
ALISTAIR
I-- I can’t wear that and I have nothing else to wear and I am not pulling an 'Emperor's New Clothes' here.
BRIANNA delicately puts their hands on his shoulders, and they both breathe deeply.
BRIANNA
Al. There are multiple free outfits in the building tonight, because some people - I’m not naming names, Nick Braxton - haven’t decided on what they want to wear yet.
ALISTAIR laughs a little, calming down.
BRIANNA
So you’re good.
A beat. ALISTAIR nods to himself.
ALISTAIR
I want to wear the dress.
BRIANNA
Okay. Then do it. Easy peasy.
ALISTAIR shakes his head with a quiet laugh.
ALISTAIR
I’ll look ridiculous.
BRIANNA
You won’t. Okay?
He slowly nods, as she smiles holding her head up high.
BRIANNA
Tonight, Alistair Fletcher, you shall go to the ball, ‘cause I didn’t spend hours helping you alter that dress for nothing.
ALISTAIR laughs as she takes his hand and opens the door - they walk out together.
INT. JAMES’S BEDROOM
ALISTAIR and BRIANNA walk in to see THEO, JAMES, DESTINY, ESTHER, RORI and MILO in the room, all in varying stages of getting ready.
THEO
What’s wrong?
BRIANNA
We need the room.
She starts to push JAKE and JAMES out.
JAKE
I'm tying a tie!
JAMES
This is my flat!
ESTHER
What’s going on?
BRIANNA
Esther, you can go. I only need people with style here.
ESTHER holds their head high, walking out the door.
ESTHER
I have style.
BRIANNA
[calling after him] Arguable!
ALISTAIR looks around, very confused.
ALISTAIR
What is going on?
DESTINY
Plans have been made for the night, and you are going to that prom whether you want to or not.
MILO
But hopefully you want to.
ALISTAIR blinks a few times, befuddled as RORI sits him down on the fold out chair, kneeling down to look him in the eyes, as "Tonight Belongs To You" from The Prom starts to play.
RORI
I can tell you're feeling wary
But you can count on auntie Rori
We can turn this depressed duck into a swan
ALISTAIR frowns with a laugh, pleasantly confused.
MILO
Your whole look could use a shake-up
You can borrow all my make-up
And the pair of Spanx I currently have on
ALISTAIR looks at MILO with wide eyes - and then realises that they're joking.
ALISTAIR
I think I'll pass on that one, thanks.
BRIANNA nods in agreement.
BRIANNA
Treat the whole world like your runway
Make it fierce but in a fun way
Try to flip your hair like Cher
And drag queens do
She ruffles ALISTAIR's hair - and he attempts to flip it by rapidly shaking his head.
ALISTAIR
Toss toss?
The others laugh politely and shake their heads.
DESTINY
And I don't mean to be rude, dear
But you could use some attitude, dear
Let's show the school that
Tonight belongs to you
She takes a step back, beginning to do a fun dance to herself as she sings:
DESTINY
One thing's universal
Life's no dress rehearsal
So why not make some waves before it's through
ALISTAIR nods, as MILO, RORI and BRIANNA join in on the dance:
DESTINY, MILO, RORI and BRIANNA
Go big or you've blown it
It's time that you own it
Let's make it clear that
Tonight belongs to you
She does a little spin, taking a make up brush off the bedside table and applying some - ALISTAIR watches, curious and interested, as the song switches to "Wig In A Box" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
RORI
I put on some make-up
And turn up the tape deck
And pull the wig down on my head
She curls her hair around her finger, as she does a model pose in her pyjamas and full face of make up.
RORI
Suddenly I'm Miss Midwest
Midnight Checkout Queen
Until I head home
And put myself to bed
RORI holds the brush up to ALISTAIR questioningly. ALISTAIR takes a moment, and looks at MILO and BRIANNA, both of their faces painted in fun, bright colours. And he nods. And they all get to work.
MILO
I look back on where I'm from
MILO and ALISTAIR
Look at the person I've become
MILO
And the strangest things
Seem suddenly routine
They look down at their bright painted nails as ALISTAIR sneezes at the powder on his nose - making RORI laugh.
DESTINY
I look up from my vermouth on the rocks
A gift-wrapped wig still in the box
Of towering velveteen
They all begin to do a little dance, all lined up around ALISTAIR as he joins in - thoroughly enjoying himself.
BRIANNA
I put on some make-up
Some LaVern Baker
And pull the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Miss Beehive 1963
Until I wake up
And turn back to myself
MILO and RORI shimmy together, doing a fun little dance, as ALISTAIR laughs, getting spun around by BRIANNA and DESTINY.
MILO and RORI
Some girls they have natural ease
They wear it any way they please
With their French flip curls
And perfumed magazines
They mime putting on perfume with a laugh, as ALISTAIR, DESTINY and BRIANNA join in with their dance.
MILO, RORI, DESTINY, BRIANNA and ALISTAIR
Wear it up
Let it down
This is the best way that I've found
To be the best you've ever seen
They surround ALISTAIR - obscuring him from our view as they work on him.
ALISTAIR
I put on some make-up
Turn up the eight-track
I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf
They pull back, and, in a miraculous amount of time that only a makeover montage could cover, ALISTAIR is done in a very minimalistic version of their fun makeup, with white eyeliner and his hair finally, finally , looking like a planned mess of curls. BRIANNA holds up a small mirror for him and he looks into it - and smiles.
ALISTAIR
Suddenly I'm this person
I’ve always wanted to be
And I ain't never
I'm never turning back
The song fades out with a chord as RORI, DESTINY, MILO and BRIANNA all nod to each other, proud of their work.
MILO
Where is our artistic Emmy?
ALISTAIR
[jokingly] So I was that bad before?
MILO
Absolutely not.
RORI
Now you get dressed and come out when you’re ready.
ALISTAIR nods with a nervous laugh.
ALISTAIR
I might... need a while.
BRIANNA
Text us if you need us.
ALISTAIR nods, a wide smile on his face.
ALISTAIR
Thank you. So much. Fairy God-people.
They share a laugh as we follow BRIANNA, DESTINY, RORI and MILO out the door to:
INT. LIVING ROOM
It is a capital M Mess in here. "A Night We'll Never Forget" from Carrie the Musical plays as we see ESTHER, SANDY, SOPHIE, ANNABELL and LIZ are running about everywhere, all half dressed, hair half done - pure chaos.
ALL
You ain't seen nothing yet
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget
We follow MILO into the kitchen:
INT. KITCHEN
A host of suits are laid out across the counters, NICK hemming and hawing over them as JAKE, JAMES and THEO hold their heads in the background - SOPHIE runs in, JAMES runs out - people are just going everywhere, no boundaries at all. It’s a little bit weird, but it’s not at the same time.
ALL
You ain't seen nothing yet
It's gonna be a night we'll never
No never
Forget
The song changes quickly to "A Night To Remember" from High School Musical 3: Senior Year, as we pan over to JAKE and ESTHER tying their respective ties and exchanging a worried look.
JAKE
Guess now it's official
ESTHER
Can't back out, can't back out
No!
We pan over to SANDY, DESTINY and SOPHIE, who are helping each other with their hair.
SANDY, DESTINY and SOPHIE
Gettin' ready
For the night of nights
The night of nights, alright
We pan over to THEO, JAMES and ANNABELL putting on their suit jackets.
THEO
Don't panic
ANNABELL
Panic!
THEO
Now do we have to dress up for the prom?
JAMES
Dude, I don't think we have the choice
MILO dances up to LIZ, adjusting their corsage.
MILO
Yeah, it's the night of all nights, gotta look just right
LIZ sarcastically swoons, falling back into MILO's arms.
LIZ
Dressing to impress the boys
MILO laughs as NICK picks up several suit jackets, holding them all up to himself.
NICK
Do I want classic or vintage or plaid?
MILO points to a bright pink jacket, matching NICK’s hair, and NICK smiles, pleased.
JAKE
Where's the mirror?
ESTHER and JAMES are in front of the mirror, inspecting themselves.
ESTHER
I think this tux is too baggy
JAMES
Too tight, it makes me look weird
SOPHIE holds various lipsticks up to herself.
SOPHIE
Should I go movie star glamorous?
DESTINY
Sassy or sweet?
We pan over to RORI scrolling through Instagram.
RORI
Don't know, but no one better wear the same dress as me!
They all sing together, fixing their jackets and sleeves and straps as they look into mirrors and reflective phone screens.
LIZ, ESTHER, JAKE, ANNABELL, THEO and (SANDY, DESTINY, SOPHIE, RORI, JAMES and BRIANNA)
It's the night of our nightmares
(It's the night of our dreams)
It's too late to back out of it
(Hey! Makeovers, massages)
Not sure what a corsage is
(Been waiting all our lives for this)
They hurry around the room, in a strange form of dance as they sing:
LIZ, ESTHER, JAKE, ANNABELL, THEO and (SANDY, DESTINY, SOPHIE, RORI, JAMES and BRIANNA)
(It's gonna be a night)
Can't wait
(To remember)
Aw, man
(Come on, now
Big fun, alright!
It's gonna be the night)
I guess
(To last forever)
Lucky us
They all look at each other - sharing a large smile.
ALL
We'll never, ever, ever forget
We pan away to the bathroom door:
INT. BATHROOM
MILO and NICK are doing each other’s makeup, very close to each other’s faces - they’re touching up their extremely smudged lipstick.
MILO and (NICK)
Gettin' ready
(Get ready)
Get, a-gettin' ready, ready
(Get ready)
Gettin' ready
Get, a-gettin' ready, go!
A loud knock on the door:
JAMES [O.S.]
You two have been in there for ages. If you fuck in my bathroom, you have to clean it after.
They ignore him - MILO rolling their eyes as NICK laughs.
MILO and (NICK)
So, what should I do with my hair?
(Where's my shaver?)
Ooh, I love it
(I look like a waiter!)
Should I fluff it?
MILO buttons up NICK’s blazer for them as NICK smooths down MILO’s dress.
NICK and MILO
It's getting late, I already should be there
The door opens as they walk out to the main room - where everyone is ready in their formalwear, looking absolutely gorgeous.
INT. LIVING ROOM
JAMES is standing, staring out the window.
JAMES
Yo, the driver’s at the front door
THEO
I'm shaking inside
Everyone excited looks around, clutching their bags and fixing their hair again - ALISTAIR still isn’t there.
ALL
They’re here, it's time
The hour's arrived
JAMES
Don't know why this man is staring me down
JAMES very quickly flips off the person outside the window, before turning back to the room.
SOPHIE
Where's my purse, lip gloss?
ANNABELL
Now I'm really freaking out
ESTHER and SANDY hold hands, SANDY adjusting the collar of ESTHER’s blazer as RORI and BRIANNA spin each other around. JAMES walks from the window over to LIZ and presses a kiss to her hand.
JAMES, LIZ, ESTHER, SANDY, RORI and BRIANNA
Then something changes my world
The most beautiful person
Right in front of my eyes
The group all begin to dance out of the room, holding hands and spinning each other around - already buzzing and a little buzzed.
ALL
It's gonna be a night
Oh, yeah
To remember
That's for sure
Come on, now
Big fun, alright!
It's gonna be the night
Here, tonight
To last forever
Forevermore
We'll never, ever, ever forget
The door slams shut behind them, as we stay in the room for a moment, the song fading out.
INT. JAMES’S BEDROOM
ALISTAIR, still in his normal clothes, is nervously pacing the room. He holds the mirror up to his face - and a SHADOW appears in the mirror behind him.
SHADOW
Are we sure about this?
ALISTAIR looks around to face them as they look him in the eyes, smaller, but more threatening.
SHADOW
What if something happens?
ALISTAIR
Like what?
The SHADOW scoffs like he’s stupid - ALISTAIR instantly flinches, looking down at the ground.
SHADOW
What if someone tries to hurt you?
ALISTAIR
They won’t.
A beat. He slowly blinks, looking back up at the SHADOW.
ALISTAIR
But they could.
The SHADOW nods, mock-caring and condescending.
SHADOW
What’ll you do then?
A beat. ALISTAIR steps back, snapping out of it.
ALISTAIR
No. No, it'll be fine. My friends will protect me.
SHADOW
We should just stay here. We could watch a movie.
A beat. And ALISTAIR scoffs, shaking his head.
ALISTAIR
No way, Margaret White.
The SHADOW frowns at him, confused, as he goes on.
ALISTAIR
I’ve wanted to go to prom ever since I saw the zombie prom episode of Wizard of Waverly Place in 2009. And then the season 2 prom episode of Glee. And season 3. Not so much seasons 4 or 5, but you know. You get my point.
A beat. The SHADOW tilts their head at him.
SHADOW
You want zombies and the cast of Glee to dance with you?
ALISTAIR sighs, rolling his eyes and ignoring the SHADOW.
ALISTAIR
Prom is like a musical happening in real life. People dancing and singing and it doesn’t… It doesn’t have to mean anything other than being happy.
SHADOW
But people don’t want you to be happy.
ALISTAIR
That's not true. People aren't one big entity. They're people. The world isn't black and white like that.
The SHADOW rolls their eyes.
ALISTAIR
Things have never been better for people like me… People like my friends, for years.
SHADOW
It’s still shit.
ALISTAIR laughs, nodding with a deep sadness.
ALISTAIR
Yeah, I know. But we can find places that aren't so shit. And I-- I don’t want to be scared of going to prom anymore. I shouldn’t have to be. It isn't fair. I'm allowed to just be a teenager.
He sighs, laughing quietly, looking over at the dress bag.
ALISTAIR
They say everything is awful, but…
He looks back at the SHADOW.
ALISTAIR
If you think about life that way, you’ll just be fucking miserable. Looking at every little tiny sad thing…
He trails off, thinking for a moment.
ALISTAIR
You have to look for what makes you happy. And do you know what makes me happy?
The SHADOW shrugs - it genuinely doesn’t know.
ALISTAIR
Dancing.
SHADOW
They could kill you for dancing.
ALISTAIR shrugs.
ALISTAIR
I don't know, maybe. But I’d rather try to dance and fall flat on my back than be stuck against the wall for another fucking minute. And I-- I know that’s a fucking cliché that’s been said and done a million times over, but… I don’t care. I’m tiring of being the one who always waits. I want to go. I want to let go of this weight I’ve been holding my whole life because I am being crushed. I want to breathe easy again.
A moment of silence.
SHADOW
Well.
The SHADOW steps down, stepping back - ALISTAIR frowns, confused.
SHADOW
I guess you win this one.
ALISTAIR smiles, completely surprised, as the SHADOW sighs.
SHADOW
Go on, then. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The SHADOW walks out, leaving ALISTAIR alone. He takes a breath and checks the time on his phone - he has a few messages asking if he's okay, and one last one from THEO saying “we told a driver to wait, but he’ll leave in half an hour”, as the beginning of "For Good" from Wicked starts to play.
ALISTAIR
Unlimited
Just look at me
He breathes out a quiet laugh to himself.
ALISTAIR
Unlimited
And just look at me
I can do all I couldn't do
Before
He looks down into the hand mirror at himself.
ALISTAIR
So now it's up to you
For all of us
A beat. He adjusts himself, standing up straighter, and breathing in and out.
ALISTAIR
Now it's up to me
He looks around the room. At the dress bag, terrified, like it might bite him. He puts the mirror face down on the table. No reflections. No shadows. No one else. He breathes in the clean air, as the song shifts to "Defying Gravity" from Wicked.
ALISTAIR
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
He looks over his shoulder, expecting a devil to be there. But it’s just a pile of messy clothes. He quietly laughs to himself.
ALISTAIR
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
He closes his eyes, breathing in deeply.
ALISTAIR
And leap
He walks over to the window, holding onto the windowsill as he looks out at the view of other apartment windows.
ALISTAIR
It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you won't bring me down
He steps back and laughs to himself - looking around the room and simply seeing the room as it is.
ALISTAIR
I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try, I'll never know
He places a hand on his heart and feels the flatness of his chest - like it’s the first time again. Like he can see potential in himself again.
ALISTAIR
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love, I guess I've lost
Well, if that was love
It came at much too high a cost
I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you won't bring me down
He steps back, looking at his hands in front of him - his hands that brought him pain, that brought him freedom, that brought him here, as the song transitions to "Let It Go" from Frozen.
ALISTAIR
My power flurries through the air and to the ground
My soul is spiralling in warm vibrations all around
And one thought cracks the pavement like an fiery blast
He looks up, his eyes crinkling with his smile - his wide, real smile.
ALISTAIR
I'm never going back, the past is in the past
He zips his hoodie off and quickly spins, spins, spins into: the white dress her bought before, but the white is just the canvas. It’s tie dyed with every imaginable shade of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple and pink. Over it, he wears the blazer ELEANOR hated. On his feet, completely out of place rip off Doc Martens. He smiles, his cheeks ablaze with pure joy as he walks out of the room.
INT. LIVING ROOM
ALISTAIR walks through the living room, turning the lights off as he goes.
ALISTAIR
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
He walks out the front door.
INT. HALLWAY
He locks the door behind him as he turns to leave.
ALISTAIR
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
He walks to:
INT. STAIRCASE
ALISTAIR quickly runs down the stairs, reaching the bottom almost instantly.
ALISTAIR
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the light shine on
The door opens, the sun shining in on him as he laughs - unfiltered.
ALISTAIR
The heat never bothered me anyway
He raises his arms up - the biggest possible finish. And, for a moment, we linger on him panting, running a hand through his hair - already back to being messed up.
EXT. JAMES’S APARTMENT BUILDING
ALISTAIR walks out into the night to see a literal fucking carriage drawn by a horse sitting on the road in front of him. ALISTAIR gasps, laughing with surprise as a very tired looking DRIVER looks up at him.
DRIVER
I was told to wait for an Alistair?
ALISTAIR
That’s me.
The DRIVER looks him up and down - ALISTAIR is terrified for a moment.
DRIVER
Nice dress, mate.
ALISTAIR grins.
ALISTAIR
I got it for £7 at Oxfam.
A beat. The DRIVER smiles back.
DRIVER
That's pretty good.
The DRIVER opens the door and ALISTAIR climbs into the carriage and they ride off down the street, "Barry Is Going To Prom" from The Prom beginning to play.
ALISTAIR
I'm oddly excited
Perhaps that’s because
Although this shouldn't matter
It somehow does
The DRIVER looks a bit confused - not used to being spoken to - but ALISTAIR just laughs to himself, going on.
ALISTAIR
It's strange but
I feel like I’m in a time machine
'Cause guess what
It's like I'm filled with good anxiety
So book a big limo
Post on Tumblr dot com
After all these years I am actually going to prom
He laughs, a hand over his mouth, shaking his hair and hands in an excited stim.
ALISTAIR
I once thought
A night like this wasn't in the cards
Now I've got some friends, a dress
And the whole nine yards
A rational person
Would just stay calm
He nods resolutely to himself, and then laughs at himself.
ALISTAIR
Oh, since when am I rational?
I’m actually going to prom
The prom!
He sighs dreamily, staring out the window like a Disney princess - at people doing their shopping, going out drinking, just another Friday night.
ALISTAIR
I wish I could tell that sad kid I was
To stop crying into his pillow
They say it gets better
And sometimes it does
Who cares if Corden ruined this song for the world
The DRIVER quickly nods in agreement.
ALISTAIR
Just get into that gym
And twirl
I am going to the
He laughs - loud and obnoxiously joyful.
ALISTAIR
To the motherfucking prom
He takes a deep breath, calming himself as he does a little shimmy, very pleased with himself.
ALISTAIR
Going to the prom
He stays calm for all of three seconds, before bursting back into dramatic song:
ALISTAIR
In showbiz I’ve never felt such a thrill divine
Half of my dates are lesbians dating each other
Still it’s fine
The DRIVER looks very confused, but goes with it.
ALISTAIR
And though it's only been days
I might call my mom
And tell her that though it’s overdue
All of my waiting is over too
And if you're not happy I'm over you
'Cause I am
He laughs - he finally found the end of the sentence.
ALISTAIR
Yes, I am
Look at me mom!
I am going to
Prom
He slides up into a high note, flapping his hands with joy.
ALISTAIR
Yeah!
We zoom out of the carriage and watch it go down the street, as a SMALL CHILD looks up from their ice cream and smiling with joy, waving at the carriage - and a hand comes out to wave back.
Chapter 8: CLIP EIGHT: "The Biggest Losers In School"
Chapter Text
FRIDAY, JUNE 25TH, 20:00
"Prom Song" from Everybody's Talking About Jamie plays as we pan along the streets of Brighton, before landing on BACA.
INT. HALLWAY, BACA
The hallway is decorated with cheap streamers and a few balloons - each one a different colour. There's a tuck shop ran by two teachers in a corner as we pan around to see a group of MALE STUDENTS - all wearing almost the exact same suit.
MALE STUDENTS
All the boys at the prom are looking pretty fly
Say oh oh oh oh oh
All the girls at the prom are looking for a guy
Say oh oh oh oh oh
A group of FEMALE STUDENTS walk past, looking very lovely in their dresses.
MALE STUDENT #1
See that girl, I'm scoping the blonde
MALE STUDENT #2
Cast my spell, I'm waving my wand
BRYAN, looking older and scruffier, hits RORY - looking somehow younger - in the arm.
BRYAN
Check your suit out, man you were conned
RORY
Check this cummerbund; man, I'm James Bond
We pan over to WREN and JORDAN, gossiping together, pointing at CASSIE.
WREN and JORDAN
No she didn't!
What is she wearing?
No she didn't!
CASSIE walks over.
WREN and JORDAN
I love what you're wearing!
More FEMALE STUDENTS walk past, all very fine in their formalwear.
FEMALE STUDENTS
Ladies in the class
Ladies in the class
Check us from the back:
Pippa Middleton's ass
We're pretty in our dresses
Pretty as princesses
The STUDENTS all join together, the FEMALE STUDENTS glaring the MALE ones down.
FEMALE STUDENTS
Put away your dick, please
And don't call me a prick tease
They begin to dance in pairs - not all boy-girl, but all together.
ALL
I've got a dream
FEMALE STUDENTS
I've got a dress
MALE STUDENTS
I've tied a bowtie to impress
ALL
Today's my lucky day
And I'm gonna be the one
And if our future ain't so bright
We'll still be shining for one night
Tomorrow's years away and we're gonna kiss the sun
They spin around, dancing individually.
ALL and (VARYING STUDENTS)
(I'm gonna pop my gun!)
Oh oh oh oh oh ohhh
(Be the one)
Oh oh oh oh oh ohhh
(Kiss the sun)
Oh oh oh oh oh ohhh
(Whoa)
Oh oh oh oh oh ohhh
Oh oh oh oh oh ohhh
(Kiss the sun)
Oh oh oh oh oh ohh
(Be the one)
Oh oh oh oh oh ohhh
DESTINY looks from the group of FEMALE STUDENTS to past the camera.
DESTINY
Bloody hell, Fletcher!
We pan around to see ALISTAIR quickly walking up to her with a smile, doing a little spin as he does.
ALISTAIR
You look amazing!
They hug tightly for a moment, and then take a good look at each other.
DESTINY
You look like a rainbow threw up on you in the best possible way.
ALISTAIR
I did it myself. Well, Bree helped. I love your hair.
DESTINY smiles, patting her hair, which is now in its natural curls.
DESTINY
Well, after years of Louise making me make it “manageable”, I thought I’d do it my way. Spoiler alert, it's been managed.
ALISTAIR
It looks amazing.
DESTINY
Thank you.
A handsome young man in a very nice suit, who looks very similar to DESTINY, wheels over to them in a wheelchair with light up wheels.
RIVER
Destiny, help, someone just ask me if I got my chair done with TikTok lights. I hate it here.
DESTINY grimaces as she turns to ALISTAIR.
DESTINY
River, this is my friend, Al. Al, this is my brother, River.
ALISTAIR nods, immediately flustered.
ALISTAIR
I-- I remember. We met a few times.
RIVER
Oh, you’re the guy who did the big medley! It was amazing.
ALISTAIR shrugs, quickly embarrassed.
ALISTAIR
I couldn’t have done it without your amazing sister.
A beat. RIVER gives DESTINY a look.
RIVER
Well, she’s good at being loud.
DESTINY thwacks his arm.
DESTINY
Fuck off!
She turns back to ALISTAIR.
DESTINY
He’s here ‘cause it’s his nineteenth and Mum and Dad are working the prom, so he has nowhere to go.
RIVER
I could’ve gone out with my mates, okay? I wanted to see the fam and the ol' stomping grounds.
A beat. ALISTAIR brings himself up - trying not to sound too nervous.
ALISTAIR
Where do you go to uni?
RIVER
I’m up in London, doing music. So when I’m complimenting your song-mixing skills, it comes from a high place.
ALISTAIR smiles, ready to go off, as DESTINY groans, rolling her eyes.
DESTINY
Oh God, I’ll leave you two to it.
She walks over to the group of FEMALE STUDENTS, beginning to talk to them, as ALISTAIR turns back to RIVER with a smile.
ALISTAIR
London’s not that high, it’s only about forty five miles above Brighton.
RIVER laughs and ALISTAIR glances excitedly over at the window - he’s doing the conversation right!
RIVER
Seriously. That transition from “Rent” to “Another Day”” was amazing and completely unexpected. And-- And the key changes? Felt so natural.
ALISTAIR
Thank you! I spent, like, three whole hours transposing music just to make it work.
RIVER nods, impressed.
RIVER
Damn… You know, I’m a DJ, and in all my years of doing my stuff - which, admittedly, is four - I have never seen such smooth changes.
A beat.
ALISTAIR
Oh, DJing is so… interesting! I had to do a class on it for my music A-Level and it ruined me. It’s so hard but so awesome. You are awesome.
RIVER
I mean, yeah, I am. But when it went from “American Idiot” to “Letterbomb”? Killer.
ALISTAIR laughs.
ALISTAIR
You know a lot about musicals for a DJ.
RIVER shrugs, scrunching his nose up.
RIVER
I DJ, I do sound design, I do a lot of things.
ALISTAIR nods, genuinely impressed.
ALISTAIR
Jack of all trades.
RIVER does a dramatic magician-esque hand gesture.
RIVER
Master of many.
A beat. RIVER looks around behind ALISTAIR.
RIVER
Where’s your date?
ALISTAIR
I’m here with my friends. They told me to wait out here until eight exactly for some reason.
RIVER's eyes go wide as he nods.
RIVER
Mysterious.
A beat. ALISTAIR awkwardly looks down, shuffling his feet, with a nervous laugh.
RIVER
You’re a really good dancer.
ALISTAIR
Thanks. Taught Destiny a lot of what she knows. She taught me a lot too.
RIVER
Cool. I’m not really much of a dancer, you know?
He laughs to himself, as ALISTAIR quickly says:
ALISTAIR
I could teach you some moves, if you want.
RIVER
[sarcastic] Yeah, right.
A beat of silence.
RIVER
Wait, you're serious?
ALISTAIR
Yeah! Anyone can dance, all you need is a heart and a song.
RIVER
You are adorable.
A beat. ALISTAIR holds up his hand, as if to ask a question in class.
ALISTAIR
Just-- Just wondering, do you mean that in a friendly way or are you making fun of me?
RIVER frowns, confused.
RIVER
No, I'm not. I think you’re cute. And I really want to pick your brain about music more.
ALISTAIR stutters, doing many very quick, panicked hand gestures.
ALISTAIR
Yes. Similarly, I to you. Thank you. That’s really nice. The-- The explaining, not the compliments. Well, yes the compliments, but…
He awkwardly trails off as RIVER smiles, nodding calmly.
RIVER
Take a breath. I’ll see you out there.
RIVER wheels back over to DESTINY as ALISTAIR looks up at the clock on the wall - which is ticking slowly as "And You Don't Even Know It" from Everybody's Talking About Jamie begins to play in the background.
ALISTAIR
There's a clock on the wall and it's moving too slow
It's got minutes to kill and a lifetime to go
And I'm holding my breath 'til I hear the first bell
Then I'm coming out hard and I'm giving 'em hell
ALISTAIR smiles widely, laughing to himself, as he swishes around in his dress and the STUDENTS in the background begin to dance in the background.
ALISTAIR
I'm a superstar and you don't even know it
And you all are and you don't even know it
Done with the "blah blah" and you don't even know it
It’s like, "au revoir" and you don't even know it
ALISTAIR joins in with the dance, getting fully into it as the OTHERS join with him.
ALISTAIR and (OTHERS)
There's a path I've planned
(And you don’t even know it)
To the promised land
(And you don’t even know it)
And now I understand
(And you don’t even know it)
I’m better with my band
(And you don’t even know it)
We pan around the hallway, at the wall displays of old work with a banner hanging over it saying "CONGRATS CLASS OF '21!".
ALISTAIR and (OTHERS)
And it's everybody’s show
(And you don’t even know it)
Even if you’re so-so
(And you don’t even know it)
And, well, kinda slow
(And you don’t even know)
We can still go go go
He takes a step back, as we cinematically sweep across the hallway.
ALISTAIR
I've got the dreams, I've got the style
I've got the moves to make you smile
So kiss me goodbye
'Cause I'm gonna be the one!
I'm on my way, I won't be turned
Your stupid lessons I've unlearned
And I am free to fly
And I'm gonna kiss the sun
The doors to the main hall swing open, and ALISTAIR and the STUDENT dance in.
INT. MAIN HALL
Everything is all done up - streamers and banner and balloons and tables full of snack food, drinks and little pieces of confetti. Around the room are sixth formers, teachers and some parental supervision. Everyone is dressed up, suits and dresses and fancy clothes, and having a good time dancing the same choreography as ALISTAIR and the STUDENTS.
ALISTAIR and (OTHERS)
‘Cause baby I’m a hit
(And you don’t even know it)
You’re a hit
(And you don’t even know it)
Yeah, we’re lit
(And you don’t even know it)
We're a blockbuster
(And you don’t even know it)
And I’m rising fast
(And you don’t even know it)
I’m an atom blast
(And you don’t even know it)
And the past is past
(And you don’t even know it)
And I'm free at last
(And you don’t even know)
They keep dancing, on and on, as ALISTAIR looks around the room for his friends.
ALISTAIR
The wasted years, the shitty days
Your boring nights, your dull
clichés
Get off and hit the track
'Cause I'm gonna be the one
And when you’re old, like thirty four
A pair of dancing TEACHERS exchange an offended look.
ALISTAIR
You’ll remember Alistair Fletcher
And I ain't going back
And I'm gonna kiss the sun!
He spots the MAIN SQUAD, sitting around a table together, and he runs over to them, the music in the background fading to “Tongue Tied” by Grouplove.
RORI
Al! You’re here!
ALISTAIR
Yeah. What-- What have I missed?
LIZ
Nothing. You look amazing.
ALISTAIR
You all do too! Obviously!
ALISTAIR spins around, the lights changing colours in the background.
ALISTAIR
Bree helped me tie dye the dress.
BRIANNA
Our kitchen table shall be horribly stained forever, but we had fun.
A laugh all around, a bit muffled with the music.
ALISTAIR
So. Why was I locked out?
JAKE rips his jacket off of an object on the table to show a giant bowl filled with chocolate buttons. There’s a ladle and a large pile of paper bowls next to it, like a strange soup. ALISTAIR gasps, surprised and very pleased.
ALISTAIR
Oh my God!
SOPHIE
We bought out about ten different corner shops to get this many buttons.
ALISTAIR blinks, completely bewildered.
ALISTAIR
Why?
ANNABELL
Well, you don’t like cake.
A beat.
ALISTAIR
So you made a lake of chocolate in a bowl?
A STUDENT reaches over to take a bowl - THEO slaps him away.
THEO
Oi, hands off, mate!
ALISTAIR holds his hands out, quickly shaking his head.
ALISTAIR
No, we can share. No one person could eat all of this.
SANDY
And we all got together and got you a little something.
ALISTAIR gasps, his eyes going wide.
ALISTAIR
Did you get me a dog?
A beat.
JAMES
No. How would we get a dog in here?
RORI
I can think of some ways.
BRIANNA
Do you think my mum would let us have a dog? We're cat people.
ALISTAIR shrugs.
ALISTAIR
I can dream.
THEO hands a gift bag to ALISTAIR, and he opens it to see an incredibly beautiful and modern camera. His jaw drops open as he delicately holds it, sliding the neck strap around his neck as he inspects it closely.
ALISTAIR
Oh my God, that is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
ANNABELL
It looks like every other camera I’ve ever seen.
ALISTAIR
Thank you. Thank you all so much.
He gets a lot of quick responses from his friends, as several people start to take bowls of chocolate.
JAKE
Oi.
Everyone follows JAKE’s gaze to see BRYAN standing at the bowl of chocolate.
BRYAN
What?
A beat. He realises.
BRYAN
Oh.
ALISTAIR
Yeah, when I say we can share, I don’t mean…
He awkwardly trails off as SANDY and SOPHIE exchange a look.
BRYAN
Um, actually, it’s… It’s nice that you’re all together and that.
The MAIN SQUAD all exchange a quiet look of “what the fuck is happening?”.
BRYAN
I wanted to say sorry. To all of you. But especially Sophie, Sandy, James, Nick, Jake--
THEO
That’s a lot of names.
BRYAN sighs and nods.
BRYAN
Well, I did a lot of bad things. And-- And I don’t expect to be forgiven, but… I want to say sorry for being a piece of shit. I was insecure and depressed and my therapist says I just took that out on you guys. So… I’m sorry.
A beat. SOPHIE blinks.
SOPHIE
Okay.
Another beat.
BRYAN
So--
SANDY
So have a nice night, but kindly fuck off, would you?
BRYAN holds his hands up in a little surrender and walks off, as JAKE looks around at the STUDENTS on the dance floor.
JAKE
I swear to God, I recognize next to no one here.
SANDY
And we will never have to see them again soon.
LIZ
Thank God.
ALISTAIR looks up from his bowl of chocolate.
ALISTAIR
They’re not that bad. When they’re not being horrible.
SOPHIE
We found it, folks - the new tagline for humanity.
Laughter all around, as the song in the background changes to “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift.
RORI
Thank God that song is over, it makes me want to cry.
ALISTAIR smiles widely, stimming happily as MILO walks back out from the crowd.
ALISTAIR
They’re playing Taylor!
THEO
She's one of the most popular singers in the world, it's not unlikely.
BRIANNA
Let the boy have his magic, Theodore.
MILO
It is so hard to request a song with all those people there.
ALISTAIR
Oh, what did you request?
A beat.
MILO
Taylor. For you.
ALISTAIR
Aw!
He touches his heart, and then runs out to the dance floor, leaving the chocolate on the table. Everyone else exchanges a look.
ESTHER
Kids these days…
The rest of the MAIN SQUAD all follow him onto the dance floor and watch him excitedly jump up and down, more stimming than dancing.
ALISTAIR
I stay out too late
Got nothing in my brain
That's what people say, mmm, mmm
That's what people say, mmm, mmm
ALISTAIR nods encouraging at them, and then all join in - jumping and flapping and stimming in their own special ways as they all yell along:
ALL
I go on too many dates
But I can't make them stay
At least that's what people say, mmm, mmm
That's what people say, mmm, mmm
But I keep cruising
Can't stop, won't stop moving
It's like I got this music in my mind
Saying it's gonna be alright
People stare at them, judgemental and deeply concerned.
STUDENT #1
I hate those fucking theatre kids.
STUDENT #2
At least they’re having fun?
And that they are.
ALL
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
They laugh, fully into it. Some would say they’re dancing like no one is watching, but they’re all watching each other, playing off of one another, and it’s somehow better.
ALL
I never miss a beat
I'm lightning on my feet
And that's what they don’t see, mmm, mmm
That's what they don’t see, mmm, mmm
I'm dancing on my own
I make the moves up as I go
And that's what they don't know, mmm, mmm
That’s what they don’t know, mmm, mmm
ALISTAIR laughs, leaning on BRIANNA as he catches his breath.
ALISTAIR
We are the biggest losers in school.
BRIANNA
Fuck yeah we are!
They laugh, as they keep dancing together - some other STUDENTS encouraged by them to join them on the dance floor.
ALL
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
They all jump up and down, some shaking their hands, some shaking their asses, and some shaking their entire bodies in a way that would look painful if they weren't laughing so much.
ALL
I shake it off, I shake it off
Shake it off, I shake it off
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off
ALISTAIR
This is the best part!
They all get fully into it - literally, as into a performance as you can get. But, at the same time, ALISTAIR is fully aware of where he is, who he’s with, everything that’s happening. He’s alive and he’s present.
ALL
Hey, hey, hey
Just think while you've been getting down and out about the liars
And the dirty, dirty cheats of the world
You could've been getting down
To this! Sick! Beat!
Acting time - they are going for it like it's the last night on earth, all competing to make the others laugh harder.
ALL
My ex-man brought his new girlfriend
She's like, “Oh my God,” but I'm just gonna shake
And to the fella over there with the hella good hair
They all aggressively point and gesture at JAMES, who dramatically runs his hands through his hair.
ALL
Won't you come on over, baby?
We can shake, shake, shake
Yeah, oh, oh, oh
They all go still for a moment - and then fully back into it as the chorus comes back.
ALL
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
They laugh as we cut ahead in time to the MAIN SQUAD all sitting back at their table, with water and Coke and sweat all over their faces. ALISTAIR's taking as many pictures as he possibly can with his new camera.
ALISTAIR
This night could not possibly get better.
RORI
Or can it?
ALISTAIR sits up, terrified.
ALISTAIR
Why? What else have you done?
NICK
Well, since you spent your 18th organising a petition thing-y, we decided to turn this into a party for you.
RORI grins, sliding a badge that says “HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY” with a 1 hastily drawn in front of the 8. ALISTAIR is elated and very amused.
ALISTAIR
What? Why?
ESTHER
Because you fucking deserve it. Besides, we got you a fancy birthday gift now, so might as well make it official.
ALISTAIR
I… That’s so nice, but…
He awkwardly trails off, not wanting to seem ungrateful.
ALISTAIR
I don’t want a big deal thing, I just…
He shrugs, honest, as "It's Time To Dance" from The Prom starts to play.
ALISTAIR
I just wanna dance with you
Let the whole world melt away
And dance with you
Who cares what other people say
And when we're through
No one can convince us we were wrong
All it takes you and me
And a song
Everyone smiles, perfectly happy to comply as they all stand up.
ESTHER
I just wanna dance with you
RORI
Let the whole world melt away and
THEO
I just wanna
ALL
Dance with you
We cut ahead, the same music playing in the background as we watch ESTHER and SANDY dance together. SANDY touches ESTHER’s shaved head, smiling to themself.
ESTHER
My neck feels so free.
SANDY
You look so handsome.
ESTHER smiles, wide and surprised - this is what they’ve always wanted.
ESTHER
Really?
SANDY
I am the luckiest girl in all of Brighton.
ESTHER shrugs, looking down self-consciously.
ESTHER
I-- I’m just… I’m just me. I’m not that good.
SANDY
You’re Esther Montner. You’re a total badass.
ESTHER looks up at her, and they finally start to believe it. We pan over to where JAMES and LIZ are dancing together.
JAMES
I’ve never worn a suit before. It feels so good emotionally but my legs hurt.
They share a laugh for a moment. And then go quiet.
LIZ
I’m really sorry again, James.
JAMES
It’s okay.
And he really means it when he says it.
LIZ
I just-- I want you to know that I think you’re so amazing that the idea of not being able to love all of you--
JAMES
I know. It's okay. I love you too.
He laughs to himself.
JAMES
I am pretty amazing, though, aren’t I?
LIZ rolls her eyes, completely fond.
LIZ
You make the best biscuits in the damn town.
JAMES does a happy little wiggle as we pan away to near the table of food, where JAKE and THEO are standing, looking out at the crowd.
JAKE
I still can’t believe I’m here.
THEO
I know. If you went back and told me three years ago, I’d be at the prom hanging out with Jake Love, I would’ve just punched you in the face.
JAKE
Honestly? If you told me three years ago? I’d be so fucking happy.
THEO smiles, genuinely touched.
THEO
Hey. Do you wanna spike the punch bowl?
A beat.
JAKE
They’re selling cans of fizzy juice, Theo.
THEO nods like it’s obvious.
THEO
So people have other options. Obviously. Come on, it'll be fun.
A beat. JAKE grins as they walk off.
JAKE
Let’s do this thing.
We pan over to where ALISTAIR is surrounded by his friends on the dance floor, watching them all, but still a part of it. Finally a part of it. The music gets louder and louder.
SANDY
One thing you've taught me
Is how much people enjoy a show
LIZ
And so you've got me
Debating how this whole night should go
BRIANNA
Kids will be watching
To see who every guest is
NICK
And so tell us what your request is
ALISTAIR looks around - he could do anything he wants. He could ask for anything.
ALISTAIR
Build a prom for everyone
Show them all it can be done
If music blares and people care
Who your unruly heart is
He places a hand on his heart and feels it beating in time to the music.
ALISTAIR
Build it now
Make people see how the world could one day be
It might come true if we take a chance
But 'til that day comes
I say cue the drums
It's time to dance
The MAIN SQUAD share a laugh, as we pan over to see PATRICK and AUDREY dancing together, staring at one another lovingly.
PATRICK
I just want to dance with you
AUDREY
I just want to dance with you
We pan back to BRIANNA and ALISTAIR watching them.
BRIANNA
They are so embarrassing.
ALISTAIR
It’s cute.
A beat. BRIANNA sighs, giving in.
BRIANNA
Yeah, it’s cute.
They share a laugh, as we pan over to a table, where ANNABELL, SOPHIE and MILO are all sitting, taking a break with some drinks.
ANNABELL
How the hell did I end up here? At some random school’s prom?
SOPHIE
We’re a fucking good school.
MILO
No, we’re not.
SOPHIE
No, we’re not.
A laugh goes around the table as they watch the crowd for a moment.
ANNABELL
Honestly, I just love playing “which person here has the worst fashion taste”?
SOPHIE
It’s not nice, but it’s true.
MILO
I like playing “is that girl white or is her tan just so dark?”.
SOPHIE
I got that question once. Worst moment of my life.
ANNABELL takes a sip of punch and winces.
ANNABELL
This is the worst punch of my life. It tastes like someone put every fruit and whiskey in the same bowl.
MILO
Because it’s spiked.
ANNABELL groans, rolling their eyes.
ANNABELL
Just get me real liquor.
Hey all share a laugh as we pan back to the dance floor, where NICK is spinning RORI around very quickly.
RORI
Stop spinning me! I can’t breathe!
NICK
But it’s so fun!
RORI slowly finds her balance.
RORI
Oh my God, this dress is so spinny, I’m in love with it.
NICK
Me too. Could I borrow it?
He’s half-joking. She responds, half-serious.
RORI
Are we the same size?
They each look each other up and down.
NICK
Eh, close enough.
RORI
Hey. We’ll go to the bathroom at some point tonight and swap outfits.
She’s completely serious. NICK smiles.
NICK
You’d fucking rock a suit.
RORI
And you a dress, my dear.
He takes her into a waltz position, even though the music playing is fast.
NICK
We fucking rock everything.
RORI
Yeah, we do!
They laugh, as we pan over to the wall, where BRIANNA and ALISTAIR are standing, taking a breather. ALISTAIR looks out at the crowd, at the lights, at the everything.
ALISTAIR
Did you ever think we’d end up here?
BRIANNA looks at him, confused.
ALISTAIR
At this school, at the prom, being friends?
BRIANNA lets out a small laugh.
BRIANNA
It’s fucking weird.
ALISTAIR
I thought you’d never like me.
A beat. ALISTAIR awkwardly shifts, scared of the truth.
BRIANNA
When I first met you, I was just… Jealous. Of how chill with everything you seemed.
ALISTAIR laughs, completely confused.
ALISTAIR
I wasn’t chill with anything. Many would say I have never been chill. Many would even say I would need to be more--
BRIANNA
Okay, I get it.
ALISTAIR laughs, pleased with himself, as he gets back to what he was saying.
ALISTAIR
I was just masking.
BRIANNA
I see that now.
A beat. They each breath in, in perfectly comfortable silence.
ALISTAIR
[bad Italian accent] We’re not so different, you and I.
BRIANNA laughs, shaking their head at him.
BRIANNA
I hate you. Happy very late birthday.
ALISTAIR
Happy late birthday to you too.
BRIANNA
Thank you.
ALISTAIR takes a breath and steps forward, holding his hand out to her.
ALISTAIR
May I?
They takes his hand, and they go onto the dance floor together, everyone dancing in unison.
ALL
It’s time to build a prom for everyone
Show them all it can be done
If music blares and people care
Who your unruly heart is
Build it now
Make people see how the world could one day be
It might come true if we take a chance
But 'til that day comes
I say cue the drums
It's time to dance
BRIANNA gives ALISTAIR a nod, and wanders off into the crowd as a SHADOW appears beside ALISTAIR. They both look out over the crowd of people, fully visible in the neon lights.
ALISTAIR
So, is this what not hiding feels like?
A beat.
SHADOW
I think so, yeah.
ALISTAIR looks over at the SHADOW with a smile.
ALISTAIR
Pretty good, huh?
The SHADOW manages to return a smile in what little way it can.
SHADOW
Yeah.
The SHADOW melts away as a hand taps ALISTAIR on the back.
RIVER
Hey.
ALISTAIR jumps around, surprised.
ALISTAIR
Hi, River.
RIVER
You really like Taylor Swift.
ALISTAIR goes still, his first instinct is to be ashamed.
ALISTAIR
Yeah, sorry.
RIVER frowns, confused.
RIVER
Don’t be sorry. I love Taylor - despite my dad hating her.
ALISTAIR smiles, forcing his shame back to the background.
ALISTAIR
Terrible. Kill him.
RIVER laughs.
RIVER
I was wondering if I could cash in that dance lesson.
ALISTAIR smiles and nods.
ALISTAIR
Okay.
RIVER
I'll probably step all over your feet.
A beat. ALISTAIR looks very uncomfortable as RIVER laughs.
RIVER
You’re allowed to laugh, I’m funny.
ALISTAIR
You can run over me all you like. I'm trained in ballet. There's no pain I can't handle.
RIVER takes his hand and they head out onto the floor together.
ALISTAIR
This is more than I dared wish for
It's epic and what's more
Tonight there's room for anyone
So everyone on the floor
Get on the floor
And everyone gets on the floor - the MAIN SQUAD all at the front - and they all begin to do a large, beautiful dance break - very modern and very fun. It's very arm heavy, with RIVER fully a part of it all. It’s not serious, people mess up and trip and laugh, but everything still goes on. It always does.
ALL
It's time to
Build a prom for everyone
Show them all it can be done
If music blares and people care
Who your unruly heart is
Build it now
Make people see how the world could one day be
It might come true if we take a chance
THEO and JAKE come up behind ALISTAIR and put a gold prom king crown on his head.
ALL
But 'til that day comes
I say cue the drums
ALISTAIR turns to them, confused, as they simply smile at him, dancing on.
ALL
And take to the floor
That's what the floor's for
ALISTAIR shrugs, laughing and going along with it as the MAIN SQUAD surround him.
ALL
So turn up the bass
Until the whole place
Gets into the beat
And has to repeat
It's time to dance
ALISTAIR laughs, as he looks around at his friends - completely disbelieving that he’s lucky enough to be there.
ALISTAIR
I just want to dance with you
ALL
It's time to dance
ALISTAIR
I just want to dance with you
ALL
It's time to dance
Suddenly, the hall doors burst open, a white light pouring out as a figure runs in and jumps onto ALISTAIR’s back, wrapping him up in a hug. ALISTAIR turns around to look, and he comes face to face with SMALL ALISTAIR, now a little taller, wearing a suit, their bow tie askew. ALISTAIR embraces them, tight, and lets himself be held just as sacredly.
ALL
Dance
ALISTAIR
You came.
ALL
Dance
SMALL ALISTAIR looks up with a smile, the edges of him fading into shadows, but he’s here.
SMALL ALISTAIR
I told you I was coming home, didn’t I?
ALISTAIR smiles, holding back tears, as he takes SMALL ALISTAIR’s hand and leads them onto the dance floor to finish the dance.
ALL
It's time to dance
They strike their ending poses, all with big smiles on as SMALL ALISTAIR raises ALISTAIR’s fist into the air, like a champion, as ALISTAIR’s crown falls down into his eyes. He pushes it back up as we cut to black.
Chapter 9: CLIP NINE: "Everything Is Beautiful"
Notes:
hi everyone. here's a link to the medley of songs used in this clip: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1U2JFv6BIeByBRLfBaESjKl-2OPLHSpyO/view?usp=sharing
Chapter Text
SATURDAY, JUNE 26TH, 05:00
INT. CARRIAGE, TRAIN
"Wicked Little Town (Reprise)" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch starts to play as we see the MAIN SQUAD all sit across the carriage, most of them half-asleep, either scrolling through their phones or lying with their eyes closed. ALISTAIR sits at a table seat, fiddling with his new camera on the table in front of him. Across from him sits a large pile of bags, and SMALL ALISTAIR.
SMALL ALISTAIR
Forgive me
For I did not know
‘Cause I was just a boy
And you were so much more
ALISTAIR looks up, making eye contact with SMALL ALISTAIR.
SMALL ALISTAIR
Than any god could ever plan
More than a woman or a man
And now I understand how much I took from you
They both look out the window to see the light edges of the dark sky, the sun just on the verge of rising. ALISTAIR takes a picture as the world begins again.
SMALL ALISTAIR
That, when everything starts breaking down
You take the pieces off the ground
And show this wicked town
Something beautiful and new
ALISTAIR smiles softly down at the reflection of the outside world on his camera.
SMALL ALISTAIR
You think that luck
Had left you there
ALISTAIR shrugs, letting out a sigh, looking over at SMALL ALISTAIR.
ALISTAIR
But maybe there's nothing
Up in the sky but air
And there's no mystical design
No cosmic lover preassigned
There's nothing we can find
That can not be found
And, slowly, we see the sea coming out from the distance, as the train pulls closer to a small seaside town.
SMALL ALISTAIR and ALISTAIR
‘Cause with all the changes
You've been through
It seems the stranger's always you
Alone again in some new
Wicked little town
The trains rolls on, pleasantly quiet in the early morning air.
SMALL ALISTAIR and ALISTAIR
Ah, ah, ooh
ALISTAIR reaches his hand out across the table - his bare arm covered in scars, some years old, some only a few days. SMALL ALISTAIR takes his hand and squeezes it tightly.
SMALL ALISTAIR and ALISTAIR
So when you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
Through the dark turns and noise
Of this wicked little town
Oh it's a wicked little town
ALISTAIR
Goodbye wicked little town
ALISTAIR breathes out a deep breath and looks into the bag that he got his new camera in. Inside is an envelope. He picks it up and opens it, taking out a card with a photograph of the MAIN SQUAD on the front. He opens the card and begins to read:
ALISTAIR
Dear Alistair…
We begin to slowly pan around the train car, seeing each member of the MAIN SQUAD fast asleep as we hear their voices overhead.
SANDY [V.O.]
There are times when you can see life as a movie. All the colours and the people and the background music ringing in your ears… But it's not real.
ESTHER [V.O.]
This is. We are. We're stupid and loud and full of shit half the time. But we’re real and we’re kind and we’re learning.
LIZ [V.O.]
I don't think anything can be perfect. Perfect isn't real. It's just an idea someone had a long time ago that still fucks us up.
JAMES [V.O.]
And… And that person feels like they're always watching. Someone is always watching and judging you. A crowd of thousands or…
SMALL ALISTAIR [O.S.]
Your younger self.
ALISTAIR looks up, looking at SMALL ALISTAIR for a moment. And then goes back to reading.
JAKE [V.O.]
And you think they hate you. And they want you to fail and fuck up and fall. But… Why can't it just not be that way?
THEO [V.O.]
We want you to be happy. You want us to be happy. And I don't think perfect happiness exists, but the air is fresh and I can smell the sea salt on the air and maybe things are gonna be…
BRIANNA [V.O.]
Maybe they can just be. And that's enough.
RORI [V.O.]
Everything feels like it's ending. School, the world, whatever. But… I think we’re just starting. All of our leaves have fallen off and now we’re ready to regrow. But we’re not gonna do it on our own.
NICK [V.O.]
We are all alone. But we're alone together. And I think true happiness isn't in the dramatics. Not in the ballgowns and dances and grand romances.
We finally arrive back at ALISTAIR.
ALISTAIR
Sometimes it's being completely silent in a room together. True love doesn't have to be spoken. You can feel it. Like the sun on your face.
He smiles to himself, barely keeping it together.
ALISTAIR
With all the love and cheesiness in the world, your friends.
As each person speaks their name, we see their signatures scrawled on the card.
SANDY
Sandy.
ESTHER
Esther.
SOPHIE
Sophie.
LIZ
Liz.
JAMES
James.
JAKE
Jake.
THEO
Theo.
BRIANNA
Bree.
RORI
Rori.
ANNABELL
Annabell.
NICK
Nick.
MILO
Milo.
DESTINY
Destiny.
A beat. ALISTAIR takes a pen out of his pocket and adds his name to the list. It fits in perfectly.
ALISTAIR
Alright.
The train doors open and everyone begins to blink awake as "Road To Hell (Reprise)" from Hadestown begins to play, and we cut to:
INT. ALISTAIR'S BEDROOM, ALISTAIR'S HOUSE
It's the middle of the night. ALISTAIR's in the clothes he's currently in, and he's standing with a suitcase on his bed, zipping it closed.
SMALL ALISTAIR [V.O.]
It’s an old song
It's an old tale from way back when
It's an old song
And this is how it ends
ALISTAIR looks up and over at SMALL ALISTAIR standing in the corner, wearing the prom king crown.
SMALL ALISTAIR
That’s how it goes
Don't ask why, don't ask how
It must come to a close
The song was written long ago
ALISTAIR looks at the photographs that litter his walls.
SMALL ALISTAIR
And that is how it goes
ALISTAIR slowly nods, holding onto the camera around his neck - his arms are bare, and we can see his scars.
ALISTAIR and SMALL ALISTAIR
It's a sad song
It's a sad tale
It's a tragedy
It's a sad song
ALISTAIR stands up straight, nodding resolutely to himself.
ALISTAIR
But we sing it anyway
ALISTAIR walks over to his wardrobe door and takes down the photograph of YOUNG ELEANOR and SMALL ALISTAIR.
ALISTAIR
'Cause here’s the thing
To know how it ends
And still begin to sing it again
As if it might turn out this time
I learned that from a friend of mine
He looks over at SMALL ALISTAIR, who smiles, as ALISTAIR takes the photograph and puts it face down on his desk. Not getting rid of it or holding onto it. Just letting it sit there with him.
SMALL ALISTAIR
See, Alistair is a poor boy
But he has a gift to give
ALISTAIR smiles - letting himself truly believe that.
SMALL ALISTAIR
He could make you see how the world could be
In spite of the way that it is
ALISTAIR looks out the window, a familiar determined glint in his eye.
SMALL ALISTAIR
Can you see it?
Can you hear it?
Can you feel it like a train?
Is it coming?
Is it coming this way?
ALISTAIR laughs quietly to himself as he opens his bedroom door and walks out:
INT. LANDING
ALISTAIR walks out to see BRIANNA standing with a similar suitcase. She smiles, giving him a quick hug.
SMALL ALISTAIR
On a brand new day, there was a lonely beach
And a family stepping off a train
Everybody looked and everyone could see
That summer had come again
With a love song
He and BRIANNA both peer around a bedroom door to see PATRICK and AUDREY sound asleep in their bed together.
ALISTAIR
With a love song
BRIANNA
With a love song
SMALL ALISTAIR
With a tale of a love from long ago
It's a sad song
BRIANNA looks at ALISTAIR, and they both begin to head down the stairs together.
BRIANNA
It’s a sad song
ALISTAIR
It's a sad song
But we keep singing even so
We transition to:
INT. FRONT HALL
ALISTAIR and BRIANNA fix themselves, leaving a note on the mirror saying "call us when you get up - love al and bree".
SMALL ALISTAIR
It's an old song
ALISTAIR
It’s an old song
ALL
It's an old song
ALISTAIR
It's an old tale from way back when
SMALL ALISTAIR
And we're gonna sing it again and again
We're gonna sing it again
ALISTAIR and BRIANNA walks out the front door, as we transition to:
INT. SANDY'S BEDROOM, SANDY'S HOUSE
"Hear My Voice" from Bare A Pop Opera begins to play as we see SANDY packing up her suitcase with a smile on her face. Her MOTHER stands in the doorway with a cup of tea, talking quickly at her as SANDY nods.
SANDY [V.O.]
Hear my voice
ALISTAIR [V.O.]
See me
LIZ [V.O.]
Did you really hear me?
RORI [V.O.]
Hear my voice
MILO [V.O.]
I don't think you see me
NICK [V.O.]
And you think you know me
SOPHIE [V.O.]
Did you really see me?
BRIANNA [V.O.]
Would you really know me?
ANNABELL [V.O.]
And you think you see me
JAKE [V.O.]
Hear my voice
ESTHER [V.O.]
And you think you know me
SANDY [V.O.]
I open my eyes
THEO [V.O.]
But you didn't see me
JAMES [V.O.]
And you think you know me
SANDY [V.O.]
Wet with tears
ANNABELL [V.O.]
See me
SANDY looks down at their phone, at a text from ESTHER, as we transition to:
INT. ESTHER'S BEDROOM, ESTHER'S HOUSE
ESTHER puts down his phone as he looks out his bedroom window to see the star-filled sky. They smile to themself, taking a moment just to breath it in.
ALL [V.O.]
And there in the middle
Above Prechistensky Boulevard
Surrounded and sprinkled on all sides by stars
Shines The Great Comet of 1812
The Brilliant Comet of 1812
The song switches to "The Stars Look Down" from Billy Elliot as we transition to:
INT. THEO'S BEDROOM, THEO'S HOUSE
We watch as THEO hangs up an asexual pride flag in his room, next to his trans pride flag. He smiles to himself, truly proud.
ALL minus THEO and (THEO) [V.O.]
And although (The comet said)
Our feet are weary (To portend)
And although (Untold horrors)
Your soul is worn (And the end of the world)
ALL minus THEO and ESTHER and (THEO and ESTHER) [V.O.]
And although (But for me)
They’ll try to break you (The comet brings no fear)
And although (No)
You’ll feel alone (I gaze joyfully)
He picks up his suitcase and turns to leave.
ALL [V.O.]
We will always stand together
In the dark, right through the storm
We will stand, shoulder to shoulder
To keep us warm
We transition to "The Goodbye Song" from Smash, as the scene changes to:
INT. LIVING ROOM, JAKE'S HOUSE
JAKE walks in to see CHRISTINE nervously sitting on the sofa. He gives her a kiss on the cheek and some reassuring words - and she looks a lot calmer.
JAKE [V.O.]
And although I’ll be out of sight, dear
Know I'll be right here
Right here forever, ever, ever, ever
When you look to the night skies
Don’t think of goodbyes
Think how I’m right here ever, ever, ever
JAKE walks out the living room door, as we transition to "Finale" from Dear Evan Hansen and the scene changes to:
INT. KITCHEN, ANNABELL'S HOUSE
ANNABELL stands at the kitchen sink and takes their medication.
ALL [V.O.]
All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Feels like we could go on for forever this way
This way
They smile to themself, and turn to leave, as we transition to "A Soft Place To Land" from Waitress and to:
INT. RORI'S BEDROOM, RORI'S HOUSE
RORI throws several piles of clothes into her suitcase, haphazard and carefree.
THE BESTIE SQUAD and (OTHERS) [V.O.]
(Ah) A dream needs believing
(Ah) To taste like the real thing
(Ah) Like some stranger you recognize
ALL [V.O.]
May we all be so lucky
RORI catches a glimpse of herself in her mirror. She looks at herself, from side to side. And then smiles, happy with what she's seeing.
RORI and (OTHERS) [V.O.]
(All we see is light) Hold them and keep them
(Watch the sun burn bright) And know that you need them
(Feels like we could go on) When your breaking point’s all that
ALL [V.O.]
You have
A dream is a soft place to land
As the song changes to "I Have A Dream" from Mamma Mia, we transition to:
INT. LANDING, LIZ'S HOUSE
LIZ is walking down the landing, trailing her suitcase behind her.
LIZ [V.O.]
I have a dream
A song to sing
To help me cope
With anything
As she reaches the top of the stairs, MARY runs out of her room and gives LIZ a big hug. LIZ laughs, giving her one back, as CHARLES and VICTORIA watch from their bedroom door.
THE BESTIE SQUAD and (OTHERS) [V.O.]
If you see the wonder (All shall know)
Of a fairy tale (The wonder)
You can take the future (I will sing)
Even if you fail (The song of purple summer)
The song transitions to "The Song of Purple Summer" from Spring Awakening as the scene shifts to:
INT. SOPHIE'S BEDROOM, SOPHIE'S HOUSE
SOPHIE takes a deep breath, meditating along with a meditation app on her phone as we pan past several football trophies on her walls.
ALL [V.O.]
All shall know the wonder
I will sing the song of purple summer
All shall know the wonder of purple summer
The song changes to "Midnight Radio" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch as we transition to:
INT. KITCHEN, MILO'S HOUSE
MILO sits with his mothers, AMELIA and EMMA, eating breakfast as they quickly chat, all of them smiling and laughing.
MILO and (NICK) [V.O.]
You’re shining (They call me)
Like the brightest star (Through all things)
A transmission (Night’s falling)
On the midnight radio (But somehow on I go)
We transition to:
INT. NICK AND LUKE'S ROOM, NICK'S HOUSE
NICK, LUKE, GABE and MATTHEW all sneakily sit on NICK's bed together, all eating some sweets as they laugh together.
ALL except NICK and ALISTAIR and (NICK and ALISTAIR) [V.O.]
And you’re spinning (You watch me)
Like a 45 (Just watch me)
Ballerina (I’m calling)
Dancing to your rock and roll (From longing)
We transition to:
INT. LIVING ROOM, JAMES'S APARTMENT
JAMES is sweeping up the mess in his living room. Food wrappers and half-full cups - but he isn't annoyed. He smiles fondly at the memories.
THEO [V.O.]
Rain
ESTHER [V.O.]
Falls
RORI [V.O.]
Heart
JAMES [V.O.]
Burns
MILO [V.O.]
Dry
ANNABELL [V.O.]
A dream
SOPHIE [V.O.]
Or a song
ALL [V.O.]
That hits you so hard
Filling you up
And suddenly gone
JAMES walks out into the kitchen as we transition to:
INT. DESTINY'S ROOM, DESTINY'S HOUSE
DESTINY is folding up her old Spotlight jacket, slowly and sadly, letting the process take a while.
SANDY [V.O.]
Breathe
LIZ [V.O.]
Feel
JAKE [V.O.]
Love
BRIANNA [V.O.]
Give
NICK [V.O.]
Free
DESTINY [V.O.]
Know in your soul
ALL [V.O.]
Like your blood knows the way
From your heart to your brain
Knows that you're whole
She puts it in a cardboard box labelled "FOR CHARITY", as we transition to:
EXT. SHOREFRONT, BEACH
The MAIN SQUAD all walk down onto the shorefront together, as the music continues.
ALISTAIR
Here's to failure
And mania
And heart break
Disappointment
And anxiety
Depression
And me
He smiles, laughing - truly proud to be who he is, as he and his friends put their arms around each other.
ALL
And all the strange rock and rollers
You know you're doing alright
So hold on to each other
You gotta hold on tonight
Arms around shoulders, hands in hands, skin touching skin in the sunlight. They are young, they are alive.
ALL
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
They raise up their hands, as we cut ahead to them further down the beach - from the angle of ALISTAIR's camera. We see the MAIN SQUAD how ALISTAIR sees them - effervescent, bright and so full of life.
ALL
Now I'm falling, baby
Through the sky, through the sky
I'm falling, baby, through the sky
It's my calling
Baby, don't you cry, don't you cry
I'm falling down through the sky
ALISTAIR
It's a tune you can hum
Oh, Broadway, here I come
ALISTAIR smiles softly to himself - allowing himself the joyful interpretation for once.
ALL
Hmm-mm-mm-mmm
They walk further down the beach, as we transition to:
EXT. BEACHFRONT CAFE
The MAIN SQUAD all sit across various outdoor dining tables, with teas and coffees, properly waking up and laughing and joking together, as the song transitions to "We Go Together" from Grease.
ALL
We go together like
Ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong
Remembered forever like
Shoo-wop sha whada whadda yippidy boom da boom
Chang chang, changity chang shoo bop
That's the way it should be
Wah-ooo, yeah!
They all push each other around - talking and laughing at the air, childhood rushing back like it isn’t halfway out the door, as the song transitions to "Bring On The Monsters" from The Lightning Thief.
JAKE
There'll be times when your faith is shaken
JAMES
They're breaking your heart, then try to hear it pound
SOPHIE and SANDY
Got to know where the real fight lies
SANDY
When it's time to rise
And stand your ground
They go serious for a moment, the laugh lines around their smiles still etched on their faces.
NICK
We don't have to go it alone
THEO
They'll put us in a box but we won't be contained
RORI and DESTINY
You keep hoping
You keep your eyes open
ESTHER
'Cause the sea doesn't like to be restrained
They all go still for a moment, slipping in between the real world and song world as they look out at the sunrise together.
ALL
No, I'm never gonna once have it easy
I'll make mistakes, but my own, and it frees me
School’s over, it's time to begin
And if you're looking for trouble then count me in
They slip back into reality, laughing and spilling their drinks on the table - and very quickly trying to rub it off.
ALL
Bring on the monsters
Bring on the monsters
Bring on the real world
Bring on the monsters
ALISTAIR and (OTHERS)
Bring on the real world
(Ah)
Bring on the real world
(Ah)
Bring on the real world
(Ah)
The real world
ALISTAIR looks around - this is both unreal and real. He’s getting better at telling the difference now. He’s getting better at keeping awake now. He’s getting better now. The song transitions to "High School Musical" from High School Musical 3 Senior Year, as the scene changes to:
EXT. SHOREFRONT, BEACH
They continue to walk along the beach together, singing conversationally:
ESTHER
Improvisation without a script
LIZ
No one's written it
THE BESTIE SQUAD
And now we have the chance to
THEO
But someday, we'll be looking back
NICK
Memories we'll have
THE LAD SQUAD
All the songs that we lived through
ALL
The best and worst of times
ALISTAIR
So why leave them behind?
ALL
But for the rest of my life
I’ll remember my
And, in all of its cheesy goodness, they begin to dance together - silly and fun in the rising sun.
ALL
High school musical
Who says we have to let it go?
It's the best part we've ever known
Step into the future
But hold on to high school musical
Let's celebrate where we come from
The friends who've been there all along
That's right
They slow down, resting their hands on each other's shoulders for breath.
SANDY and JAKE
Now we finally realize
SANDY
Who we are, it just took some time
ALL
We had to live and to learn to see the truth
Learn to see the truth
BRIANNA
That nothing is ever impossible
ALISTAIR
Into the future, we all free-fall
ALL
But forever, we'll always have high school
They take a moment, as we transition to:
EXT. AIRBNB
The MAIN SQUAD all walk out of the front doors together, their bags left behind as the song transitions to "Out Of The Darkness" from Everybody's Talking About Jamie.
SOPHIE
Well you've come pretty far
ANNABELL
But you know where you are
SOPHIE and ANNABELL
You're home
MILO
And the friends that you choose
DESTINY
Want to walk in your shoes
MILO and DESTINY
You're home
They begin to walk down the casual main street together.
RORI
Any time you feel your skies are falling
LIZ
Look above see a bright silver lining
RORI
Listen up at your own freedom calling
RORI and LIZ
Calling you to a day where you're shining
As the song transitions to "We're All In This Together" from High School Musical, they're joined by more people pouring out of the surrounding buildings - not random strangers, but every person we've met over the series. It doesn't make logical sense, but they're all there.
ALL
We're all in this together
Once we know, that we are
We're all stars
And we see that
We're all in this together
And it shows, when we stand
Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true
They all jump up and down, laughing, as we transition to "I See Stars" from Mean Girls.
ALL
I see stars
So many stars tonight
You could make diamonds dull
You are so beautiful
I see stars
You shine as bright as day
I will look out for you
We’ll light each other’s way
ESTHER
You’re all stars
They all go still, standing together, as the song transitions to "Light" from Next to Normal.
ALL
Day after day, day after day
We'll find the will to find our way
Knowing that the darkest skies will someday see the sun
RORI
When our long night is done
ALL
There will be light
There will be light
There will be light
They all begin to danceagain - is this real? Is this in ALISTAIR’s head? Or have the lines between what is scripted and what is filmed blurred and these are neither real nor fictional people. Simply people - whatever that means to you.
ALL
Opening up
Into a new day
Open to love
Isn't it amazing what comes our way
One at a time
Every day falls in line
Learning to love what's on the inside
They all share laughs, leaning on each other and letting the sun shine down on them.
ALL
Looking around at the same things
All of them changing 'cause everything does
Life's rearranging
And we're opening up
To what's inside of
What's inside of love
Wildly jumping up and down, touching each other casually and freely, their cheeks red, their throats hoarse - this is what happiness looks like. The song transitions to "Voice In My Head" from Be More Chill.
ALL
And there are voices in my head
So many voices in my head
And they can yell and hurt like hell
But I know I'll be fine
ALISTAIR steps up to the front, looking into the camera - not with any hatred or anger or exhaustion. Just simply looking and know you're there. You see him. And that's okay.
ALISTAIR and (OTHERS)
Still have
(Voices in my head)
Yeah, there are
(Voices in my head)
But, of the voices in my head
The loudest one is mine!
SHADOWS begin to creep out from the darkness, but ALISTAIR can’t see them through the warm bodies surrounding him.
ALISTAIR
The loudest one is mine!
A hand on his wrist - he flinches, but he doesn’t run. He stays. He chooses to stay.
ALISTAIR
The loudest one is mine!
They all freely stim in their own special ways - it’s not what one would call pretty, but it’s full of joy, which means it’s full of beauty.
ALL
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na
The song changes to "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" from American Idiot, as JAMES steps forward, playing the guitar himself.
JAMES
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
ALL
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life
They all look at each other - the ending beginning to sink in for a moment. Sadness creeping into the corners of their eyes. But the music keeps going, and they smile, as "Without Love" from Hairspray begins to play.
MILO and NICK
'Cause without love
MILO
Life is like the seasons with no summer
SOPHIE and DESTINY
Without love
SOPHIE
Life is rock 'n' roll without a drummer
MILO, DESTINY, SOPHIE and NICK
Darling, I'll be yours forever
'Cause I never wanna be
Without love
Whoa, never set me free
No, I ain't lying
Never set me free, baby
No, no, no!
The cast all split up - into friends and siblings and every type of love imaginable.
ALL
Without love
SANDY
Life is like a prom that won't invite us
ALL
Without love
ALISTAIR
Life's getting my big break and laryngitis
ALL
Without love
THEO
Life is like a beat that you can't follow
ALL
Without love
LIZ
Life is Doris Day at the Apollo
ALL
Darling, I'll be yours forever
'Cause I never wanna be
Without love
They all share a look with one another as the MAIN SQUAD line up, everyone else taking their bows and walking away, as the song changes to:
ALL
Seasons of love
"Seasons of Love" from Rent begins to play as they comfortably begin to clap to the beat, walking down the street together.
ESTHER
525,600 minutes
525,000 journeys to plan
525,600 minutes
How do you measure the life of a woman or man?
BRIANNA and SANDY
In truths that she learned
JAMES and LIZ
Or in times that he cried
JAKE and NICK
In bridges he burned
ALISTAIR
Or the way that she died
They all reach out to one another, physically and emotionally.
ALL
It's time now to sing out
Though the story never ends
Let's celebrate, remember a year
In the life of friends
The song transitions to "Finale" from We Are The Tigers as they arrive back at:
EXT. SHOREFRONT, BEACH
They walk out onto the beach together, the sea shining, bright blue in the sun. There's no one else there, and it is gorgeous.
ALISTAIR
So I'll set some expectations
But I want to keep them real
ALL
So I might need a little time before I heal
DESTINY
And when I'm feeling I might never be on track
ALL
I've got a team who understands
I've got a team who's got my back
They look around at one another, smiling softly.
ESTHER
And I'll take the girls who learn from the tough calls
THEO
I'll take the friends who trip into trust falls
ALL
We find a way, if maybe not easily
They spread out along the beach, as we cinematically sweep around.
SANDY, LIZ, NICK, DESTINY and RORI
I'll be the kid who cries when their heart breaks
JAKE, BRIANNA, ANNABELL, MILO and JAMES
Here's to the kids who try and make mistakes
ALL
I'm getting closer to where I'm supposed to be
And that's a victory
A victory
ALISTAIR nervously takes a step forward.
ALISTAIR
And I’m not sure that I’m okay
But I get stronger every day
He looks back at his friends, who nod supportively at him.
ALISTAIR and ESTHER
And when I'm scared I won't get through
I know I'll find the good things too
I know I'll find the good things
ALISTAIR, ESTHER, JAMES, THEO and RORI
I know I'll find the good things
ALL
I know I'm finding good things
They all step forward to join one another.
ALL
We are the soul of the school
The pride in the name
The heart and the flame
Our words are pure inspiration
Years of creation
Changing the nation
They look around at one another - and this is a good thing. Maybe goodness isn’t something to achieve or something you naturally are. Maybe goodness is seeing your friend smile in the light of day and knowing that you know them and that they know you too, in the most embarrassing way. Maybe to be good is to exist shamefully but be proud of it.
ALISTAIR, ESTHER, THEO, JAMES, RORI and (OTHERS)
(We'll give you) And I'm not
(Something to hold on) Sure that I'm oh-
(To when you) -kay, but I get
(Think your time is up) Stronger every
(We'll give you) Day and when I'm
(Just the song you want) Scared I won't get
(To hear) Through, I know I'll
(When you're out of luck) Find the good things, too
ALL
We'll give you something to hold on to
When you think your time is up
We'll give you just the song you want to hear
When you're out of luck
The music quietens down for a moment as the song transitions to "Seventeen (Reprise)" from Heathers. They all reach out to one another, holding hands - deeply and truly connected.
ALL
We can just be eighteen
We can learn how to chill
If I don’t love me now
Someday I know I will
They slowly begin to laugh, doing a small dance together.
ALL
We can just be eighteen
Still time to make things right
One day we'll change the world
But let's kick back tonight
They let go of each other - still close, still occasionally touching, but they’re on their own. Safe and individual and together.
ALL
Let's go and be eighteen
Take off our clothes and dance
Act like we're all still kids
'Cause this could be our final chance!
Always just be eighteen
Celebrate you and I
Maybe we won't grow old
And maybe then we'll never die
They all look off into the distance for a moment, truly thinking about it. And, things go quiet. The possibility hanging in the air. The beginning of "For Good" from Wicked plays - sad and nostalgic.
SANDY, ESTHER, ALISTAIR, ANNABELL, NICK, JAMES and LIZ
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn
JAKE, RORI, THEO, DESTINY, MILO, SOPHIE and BRIANNA
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
ALISTAIR
And now I know that I believe that's true
‘Cause I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
They all look at one another, mirrored, reflected in happy tears as their voices come together in beautiful harmony.
THE LAD SQUAD, SOPHIE and DESTINY and (THE BESTIE SQUAD, MILO and ANNABELL)
Like a comet pulled from orbit
(Like a ship blown from its mooring)
As it passes a sun
(By a wind off the sea)
Like a stream that meets a boulder
(Like a seed dropped by a bird)
Halfway through the wood
(In the wood)
ALL
Who can say
If I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better
A quiet, tearful laugh. Bare, honest truth.
ALISTAIR
And because I knew you
BRIANNA
Because I knew you
ALL
Because I knew you
I have been changed
For good
And for a moment, it's quiet. "Seeing You" from Groundhog Day begins to play as they all take a breath together.
ALL
A storm blew in, overwhelmed me sometime late this morning
Think I ignored the warnings
I've spent a lifetime seeking signs, reading lines
ALISTAIR
Trying to forecast the future
Always staying a day ahead
They all share a quiet, sarcastic laugh.
ALL
Well that was the idea
ALISTAIR
But I'm here
ALISTAIR looks around - not what he planned, not what he hoped for. Not what he wanted. But, it also is. Sometimes what you want is just what happens to you out of nowhere. Maybe it’s the universe or God. Or maybe it’s just you.
ALL
I thought I'd seen it all before
Was sure by now I knew this place
I swear that I knew every hair
Each line upon your face
I thought the only way
To better days was through tomorrow
But I know now that I know
ALISTAIR
I know now that I know nothing
A beat of silence. ALISTAIR looks around, and catches a look at himself in a piece of glass abandoned on the beach. He doesn’t see THE GIRL or SMALL ALISTAIR or any SHADOWS. He looks and he sees himself, no strings attached, for the first time.
ALISTAIR
But I'm here
And I'm fine
And I'm seeing you
For the first time
He breathes out, overcome with emotion.
ALL
I thought the only way
To better days was through tomorrow
But I know now that I know
I know now that I know
We pan back, and see the bright sun shining behind them, illuminating the entire world.
ALL
That I'm here
And I'm fine
And I'm seeing you, for the first time
I'm alright
And I'm seeing you
And they exhale - the home stretch now, almost there. "Thank U" by Alanis Morrissette begins to play as we pan around each person, watching them breathe and exist and live. Like we’ve been doing for years.
SANDY
How 'bout getting off of these antibiotics
NICK
How 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up
THEO
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
LIZ
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo
SOPHIE
How 'bout me not blaming you for everything
ESTHER
How 'bout me enjoying the moment for once
RORI
How 'bout how good it feels to finally forgive me
JAKE
How 'bout grieving it all one at a time
ANNABELL
How 'bout no longer being masochistic
BRIANNA
How 'bout remembering your divinity
DESTINY and JAMES
How 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
MILO and ALISTAIR
How 'bout not equating death with stopping
ALISTAIR glances up into the camera and gives a wry smile, as everyone takes a step back, letting themselves loosen up.
ALL
Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you consequence
Thank you, thank you silence
The moment I let go of it
Was the moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it
ALISTAIR
Was the moment I touched down
"You Learn" from Jagged Little Pill finally begins to play as we all of them sitting down on some blankets on the beach, staring out at the sun as they casually exist together.
RORI
I, recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone, yeah
BRIANNA
I, recommend walking around naked in your living room, yeah
They put an arm around RORI as ALISTAIR shakes his head very quickly, and everyone shares a laugh.
SANDY
Swallow it down
JAKE
What a jagged little pill
SOPHIE
It feels so good
RORI
Swimming in your stomach
ANNABELL
Wait until the dust settles
ALL
You live, you learn
You love, you learn
You cry, you learn
You lose, you learn
You bleed, you learn
You scream, you learn
They all look around at one another - and share a laugh as they stand back up, simply wandering around their small world together.
ESTHER
I, recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
MILO
I certainly do
LIZ
I, recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
JAMES
Feel free
BRIANNA
Throw it down
THEO
The caution blocks you from the wind
DESTINY
Hold it up
NICK
To the rays
ALL
You wait and see when the smoke clears
They breathe in the pure, clean sea air together. Unfamiliar and new, yet safe. Exciting. Full of possibility.
SANDY
You live
ALL
You learn
JAMES
You love
ALL
You learn
RORI
You cry
ALL
You learn
SOPHIE
You lose
ALL
You learn
THEO
You bleed
ALL
You learn
ESTHER
You scream
ALL
You learn
They rock out - dancing together, laughing, completely and utterly free.
ALL
I, I, I
I, I, I
I, I, I
I, I, I
I, I, I
I, I, I
They laugh together, taking it all in.
SANDY and ESTHER
Wear it out
BRIANNA
The way a three year old would do
ALL
Melt it down
ALISTAIR
You're gonna have to eventually, anyway
ALL
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend
They breathe out, moving together as a family, as we pan across everyone’s face.
ALL
You live, you learn
You love, you learn
You cry, you learn
You lose, you learn
You bleed, you learn
You scream, you learn
They all run towards the ocean, laughing together - all but ALISTAIR, who hangs back, watching.
ALL
Thank you, India
SANDY, LIZ, JAKE, BRIANNA, NICK and ALISTAIR
You grieve, you learn
ALL
Thank you, providence
LIZ
You choke, you learn
ALL
Thank you, disillusionment
NICK
You laugh, you learn
BRIANNA
You choose, you learn
ALL
Thank you, clarity
JAKE
You pray, you learn
ALL
Thank you, consequence
SANDY
You ask, you learn
ALL
Thank you, thank you silence
ALISTAIR holds up his camera and takes one final picture of the MAIN SQUAD all together.
ALISTAIR
You live, you learn
He lets out a breath, and sets his camera down, next to the rest of their belongings. He breathes in and out, looking out at the shoreline - but mostly at his friends.
ALISTAIR
Everything is beautiful…
He looks over at the camera watching him. He softly smiles, and nods goodbye. He runs off into the ocean. We hear laughing and yelling and splashing as the sun is now fully in the sky, burning bright as ever. Not one drop of shame in it. It's a new day. A new beginning.
CUT TO CREDITS
Yellow text appears on screen: “THANK YOU”.
CUT TO BLACK
Chapter 10: Acknowledgements
Chapter Text
well everyone. here we are. after many years, many tears and many fears, our story has come to a close.
if you like my work, i hope you will still follow me on tumblr @yououghtaknowmp3. the song in the first clip is one i wrote for a musical i’m currently workshopping with my college - it’s called puzzle piece, it’s about a group of autistic teenagers in a shitty group therapy session together. i’m also working on several other musicals, some screenplay projects like skambr, and some original songs - and a podcast about the music of skambr season 6 and the general making of skambr. it’s called “infodumping with isaac” and the first episode is out now and will hopefully be available on all podcasting platforms soon! you can check it out here: https://open.spotify.com/show/3mLMMbeLzgCixre93q9TOB
my favourite part of reading books is always reading the acknowledgements at the end, so i wanted to do my own version of them for skambr:
thank you to my parents, for always listening to my rambling about this show despite never really knowing what i mean, and being fully supportive when i skip family events to edit clips <3.
thank you to every skam blog i followed on tumblr in 2017. i don’t know where most of you are now, but you inspired me to create this with your great ideas and gif sets.
thank you to henry and katya, my beta readers, best friends and inventors of great ideas. you helped create these characters and always supported me in building this world and were always there to listen when i wanted to talk about spoilery writing things. i literally couldn’t have done this without you.
thank you to everyone in the skam brighton discord. talking to you guys has made me feel so happy and i’ve loved getting to know you over the past few months/years. i’ve sent a million heart emojis and i will send a million more until i can repay you all for all the love you’ve given me.
thank you to everyone who has ever commented on my work. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve just wanted to give up on this project but then i got a comment and suddenly i remembered why i do this - because it makes me happy, and it makes you happy.
thank you to everyone who’s kudos’d, read or recommended this monster of a series. without you, i wouldn’t be doing this. i wouldn’t be as confident as i am today, and i hope you continue to reread and recommend this work even after it’s ended.
i started writing this show as an au of a work me and my friends were doing. i wanted to do a version of skam with canon nooreva, with a canon wlw couple and explicit lesbian representation (because that hasn’t happened yet at that point). i wanted a good noorhelm. i wanted a trans even. i wanted a good sana season.
what happened was the best thing to ever happen to me. writing this show helped me work through so much about myself - realising i was gay, realising i was non-binary, realising i was bipolar, realising i have hallucinations, my first love, my first heartbreak, leaving school, going back to school. writing this show has helped me get out of the darkest part of my life.
and i’m going to get a bit personal and sappy here.
when i began writing this series, i was in an awful place. i dropped out of school at age 13 due to my mental illnesses and disability, i wasn’t accepted by my family and the only time i was happy was when i was talking to my online friends. my meds weren’t working, my therapist wasn’t trying to help me and i felt pretty hopeless that i would ever do anything with my life.
and then i started writing this show. and people read it and liked it. they loved it. people i followed on tumblr who i admired for years were reading my stuff and talking about it, and people were writing their own remakes citing me as an inspiration.
i wrote about everything that had hurt me - the emotional abuse i’ve faced, the ableism, the homophobia, the transphobia, the gaslighting, the hate, the anger, the sadness. myself. and other people saw themselves reflected. i’ve had so many kind, sweet, wonderful messages from people saying i’ve helped them discover themselves, and i want you to know that all of you helped me discover myself.
because now i’m seventeen. now i’m on meds that are helping me. now my parents fully accept me and i’m out to my whole family and everyone i know. now i’m about to graduate my first year of college with a level two in music production, and next year i’m set to begin studying music performance and composition. now i’ve been shortlisted for a national arts programme, and i used a scene from skambr in my application. because writing this show has made me realise that writing is the only thing i want to do with my life, and every one of you gave me the confidence to realise that it is a real possibility for me.
this show and every person who’s read it mean everything to me because you honestly saved my life. i don’t know what would’ve happened to me without this show, but deciding to post it was the best decision i ever made.
if it ever made you feel seen, i’m so glad. because i had never truly seen myself until i put the word down onto paper. well, screen, but you get it. at fourteen, i had no idea who i was. i was forcing myself to be whoever the closest person wanted me to be. i was miserable. i was lonely. i wasn’t honest. and now, every day, i see the worst parts of myself as beautiful in the characters i have made.
i think sandy would be proud of me for every time i walk past my abuser’s house. i think liz would be proud of me every time i make a mistake and instead of destroying myself, choose to learn and grow as a person. i think jake would be proud of me for finally being able to think a man is beautiful without hating myself. i think bree would be proud of me for asking my parents for help when i have a manic episode. i think nick would be proud of me for never being afraid to correct someone on my pronouns. i think al would be proud of me for accepting that recovery isn't a linear process and that it's okay to not be okay.
i think esther would be proud of me for standing up for the people around me even though the anxiety surrounding it overwhelms me. i think rori would be proud of me every time i eat a meal when my mind says i shouldn’t. i think theo would be proud of me for always being honest, even when some people see it as rude. i think james would be proud of me for trying my best to be kind to people who may not have earned it yet.
i think all of these characters would be proud of me because i am proud of them and they are me. they are the parts of myself that i wish i could change and then i realised that i don’t have to. because writing this series and looking at things from an outside perspective has helped me accept that i’m not an inherently bad person. i’m just a person doing my best, like everyone else.
all of these characters are me and everyone i have ever met rolled up into one. people i haven’t spoken to in over a decade are here. people who don’t know my name anymore are here. i’m in love with all of these characters and every single moment they’ve excited and this series has taught me that love is the thing worth living for in everything you do. writing this made me realise that writing is not just a thing to do for fun or a thing to do for school - it’s a way of life. it’s a way of love.
i have never been good at expressing love. it’s hard for me, but when i write, i can do it. this show is a love letter to my parents, my brother, my grandparents, my whole family. to the friends i had when i was four years old, to the friends i have now. people i talk to every day and people who i’ve never even spoken to. to the people who stood back and watched me get abused every day and to the person who did it. to the person who outed me, to the people who bullied me - and to the people who accepted me with open arms and taught me how to be a real friend. everything i write is for people. whether i know them or not, it's for whoever needs it.
it’s a letter of anger and regret and joy and what ifs and sadness. but it’s also forgiveness and growth and a love letter to myself. to my teenage years. one day, i will look back on this seasons the same way you look at old photographs - with nostalgia and the love for a younger version of yourself who didn’t know they deserve love.
everyone reading this - you deserve love. whatever you love to do, do it. whatever you want to be, be it. you have permission to be good to yourself because you are a beautiful person. i hate that the meaning of beautiful has come to mean “physically attractive” in our modern age. a word meaning “full of beauty” is magnificent to me. you are full of beauty because you are alive and you exist.
now, with all of the tearful dramatics over, one last thank you. to everyone reading these words, to everyone who has ever read a single word i’ve written.
thank you for making me feel like i’m important. thank you for listening to me. thank you for letting me be a part of your life. i hope one day you’ll remember this series and smile. i know i will.
i hope to see you all soon. i hope you all will see yourselves in my work for years to come, because while skam brighton may be ending, it’s the beginning for me as a person. i hope you have a good day, week, year, rest of your life.
from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.
with all of the love in my heart,
isaac <3
lifeisraw on Chapter 1 Sat 19 Jun 2021 05:29PM UTC
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lifeisraw on Chapter 3 Mon 21 Jun 2021 04:22PM UTC
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gaypetersimmonds on Chapter 3 Mon 21 Jun 2021 04:24PM UTC
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lifeisraw on Chapter 4 Tue 22 Jun 2021 02:32PM UTC
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lifeisraw on Chapter 5 Wed 23 Jun 2021 04:59PM UTC
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lifeisraw on Chapter 6 Fri 25 Jun 2021 01:43AM UTC
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lifeisraw on Chapter 7 Sat 26 Jun 2021 05:42AM UTC
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lifeisraw on Chapter 8 Sat 26 Jun 2021 02:10PM UTC
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lifeisraw on Chapter 10 Sun 27 Jun 2021 05:59AM UTC
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gaypetersimmonds on Chapter 10 Sun 27 Jun 2021 12:30PM UTC
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