Chapter Text
Ligur had a lot of questions, and a plan he needed another demon to test on. That was going to be a problem.
He didn’t need just any demon. It had to be the right demon, because Ligur intended to have fun. The tests were supposed to be fun after all.
The tests on why humans didn’t do sexual activities the way they used to. Why, seriously, and what did that mean for demons?
Because it had to mean something for demons, too. It certainly meant something to Ligur.
+
Ligur had wandered the Earth for a bit, looking at everything, and trying to figure out the new humans. There were hundreds of them now. They had been cast out of Eden for disobeying God, which made them the closest thing to a demon in the world. The new political course in Hell was to observe them closely to see if they could be useful allies, or useful at all. The weird thing was that the demons who went up there to watch humans sent very vague reports. Crawly and Assmodeus especially. That wouldn’t do, so Ligur went up there to see what the humans were up to.
He posessed a man he thought looked good, and the first women he came across apreciated him very much. She gave him food and said that a wanderer like him would always be welcome with her and her husband, if he wanted to stay the night.
She took him to her tent and showed him to her husband. The husband was just as friendly, let his hands roam over Ligur’s body, smiling widely.
“Have you ever laid with a man or a woman?” they asked him.
And when he said no, his stupid human body heating up for some reason, they assured him they’d make this a wonderful night for him.
Well. It was pretty clear at this point that the humans wanted to mate with him, and Ligur was not against that at all. Humans were actually pretty hot. Smelled like animals, looked like angels. He was into it. Had mated with a few demons before, it had been fun. He could mate with the humans if they wanted to, no big deal.
Except it turned out it was. A pretty big deal actually.
They took almost all night to make it a wonderful night indeed, and every part of it was a surprise. How much time they took for everything. The sweet names they gave him. So much kissing. Their lips all over his body, which was fun, but they always slowed him down when he wanted to pick up the pace. Ligur was not a patient demon, and his human body seemed to struggle too, but he did slow down. If mating humans was this good, and the humans still wanted to go slower to do more of it, then he wasn’t going to stop them.
He had expected his cock to go into the woman at some point – just not at this point.
“You sure it goes there?” he asked.
She laughed. “Let me try something, maybe that’ll answer your question.”
And with that, she let her tongue wander over his cock until he almost cried, and then took it into her mouth, and fuck, it even got better?
They had surprises like this for every body part. The orifices were the most fun, but Ligur didn’t dismiss the rest. No one had ever given him so much time and attention just to make him feel this good.
The orgasm in the end was nice, and apparently a door-opener to more fun of the things her husband could do, but it was just an orgasm. Ligur had had those before. It was the rest, the way they made him feel so good, that he would never be able to forget! And he would want that again!
+
“How did you learn to do all this?” he asked them afterwards, when they were washing their bodies.
The woman smiled. “Since our ancestors ate the fruit of knowledge back in the garden, we know the difference between good and bad sex.”
Ligur was shocked. That was the thing God hadn’t wanted to humans to know? That was what they had been punished for?
“Such harsh punishemnt for this? That’s not right,” he caught himself mumbling.
The woman shrugged.
The man saw his reaction, and pulled him into a shoulder hug, pressing a kiss on his head. “Don’t worry so much. What’s done is done, all we can do is make the best of it.”
For a moment, Ligur felt a kinship with these shortlived people he’d never felt before. “I don’t know if I want to be so calm about such injustice been done to me.”
“We don’t know yet what it all means. Knowing the difference between good and bad is not enough,” said the woman. “That’s not wisdom yet. There’s more to understand, and when we get there, maybe it’ll all be clearer.”
“Not in our lifetime,” said her husband. “But we can put our knowledge to good use for now.”
And that was exactly was Ligur intended to do as well. Now that he knew what good sex was, and that it was something God and Heaven were against, he thought that demons should have it, too. But could they? Or was it built into the human body? He needed to find out.
And for that, he needed the right demon.
+
Demons were no fun. Why were demons so… meh about mating? Even before he’d known what humans could do, Ligur had liked mating, and he had been under the impression that there were lots of other demons who thought the same. He’d never had a problem finding someone who wanted to go for it, the quick old fashioned way.
But he had a lot of problems now. Every demon he’d tried to show the human stuff just didn’t like to slow down, be patient, ‘drag it out’. They wanted to come, they wanted to come right away, and while they were excited before they started, they fizzled out so quickly.
Of course, Ligur could have made them stay, tie them down perhaps. Make them do it. Probably make them like it. Which was the whole point of it. But… Ligur didn’t want to. Was some genuine enthusiasm too much to ask for? When he told someone he had a great idea for some hours of really fun mating, he didn’t want to hear some lukewarm ‘is that really necessary’. Sure, they could do the usual humping and probably come a dozen times in the time the humans built up one huge climax. But when he told them what he wanted to do was better, why was no one even willing to give it a go?
Ligur realized it was going to take a while. There were millions of demons in Hell. Someone had to be willing. He was going to try them all, if he had to.
He was so deep in thought that he’d almost not seen his arch rival at the end of the hall. Better not run into Hastur unprepared. Hastur was short tempered, very stabby, and, because they were both vying for the same promotion, even more alert towards him than anyone else. Running into him would end in a fight, and he wasn’t looking for a fight right now. He was busy.
Too bad I can’t try the mating thing with Hastur, thought Ligur and chuckled at the absurdity of it. If there was ever a demon that wasn’t built for overwhelming and prolonged ecstasy, it was Hastur. Hastur had huge emotions already, and was making that everyone’s problem. He’d not be lukewarm about anything, ever. He’d probably scream so much. He’d probably come up with some pretty sick ideas of his o…. oh. OH.
He turned and broke into a run.
“Hastur, wait!”
+
Ligur was dead. Well, discorporated.
How? When, and why?
Well, the why was sort of obvious, he had put a hand on Hastur’s arm and been dead practically in the same moment. Still, that was a) a pretty extreme reaction and b) since when was Hastur a serious threat? Ligur had never considered him an equal in direct combat, seeing how quickly Hastur could be distracted or lose his nerve. Turned out, he didn’t have to keep his nerve for long if he was able to handle his opponents in split seconds. Which was probably the extent of Hastur’s patience with other demons’ bullshit anyway.
But what had started as a joke had awakened something in Ligur. He absolutely wanted to try human style mating with Hastur, now more than ever. That Hastur was so vicious only made him more interesting. And Ligur wasn’t going to be as easily killed next time!
Well. Turned out he was.
Ligur let out a noncorporeal huff, and rematerialized his body again. And again. And again.
If he tried often enough, he would become fast enough to recorporate before Hastur could escape again, and keep the fight going. He was pretty sure he’d then win.
He was right, but it took him a while. Quite a while of him frantically hunting Hastur up and down the halls and corridors of Hell. Hastur had claws – impossibly sharp claws – that gave him a ridiculous reach, and he bit when given the chance! And he remained incredibly fast in a fight. But Ligur was physically and mentally built for blunt force and endurance, and he only had to get lucky once to be able to talk to Hastur, while Hastur had to get lucky all the time to avoid him.
In the end, Ligur’s tenacity won, he finally could wrestle Hastur down to the floor, sit on him and hold him and his fucking claws in place. Hastur was even face-up, which was a great start.
Hastur took a while to stop thrashing and screaming, but Ligur just waited. He found he already enjoyed himself a lot, sitting on a squirming Hastur like that. While Ligur had recorporated recently, Hastur was in the same corporation that had been fighting Ligur non-stop, and he looked pretty frazzled. Ligur hadn’t actually hurt him, just tried to get a hold of him, so Hastur wasn’t bleeding (much), but he still looked noticeably more banged up than usual and smelled intensely of blood and the sharp smell of threat. And Ligur liked it. Really liked it. That was promising. If he liked messing up Hastur in a fight, he’d like messing him up with pleasure even more. Hastur’s reaction to having his orgasm delayed would be glorious.
“Shhh,” he hummed, when Hastur finally dialled the screaming down to some moaning. “Calm down. Don’t wear out your voice just yet. You’re going to do plenty of screaming later for me, don’t you worry.”
Hastur shrieked and started thrashing again, trying to break free. But Ligur had him in a firm enough grip and could wait him out.
But still he couldn’t ask him because suddenly, a voice from behind him spoke up and unfortunately, Beelzebub’s voice was one he had to obey.
“I’m not saying you can’t torment your rival, because you obviously can, even if none of you get any work done for weeks because of it or listen to anyone. At this point, I only want to know one thing: Why?”
Oh shit. Had Beelzebub tried to talk to him at some point of them fighting? Ligur hadn’t registered anyone or anything. Still, this was so clearly personal. Why did anyone have to interfer?
“I’m not tormenting him,” Ligur clarified. “I just want to ask him something, but he never stops for long enough to talk.”
“What?” spat Hastur.
“What?” echoed Beelzebub, not nearly as impressed. “All this for a question? You could have send someone else to ask.”
“Not for this,” said Ligur. “This is personal. You can’t send someone else to arrange for mating.”
“Mating?” asked Hastur, his voice wheezy and cracked from all the screaming. “This is about mating?”
“And the fact that he’s fighting you off with all he has doesn’t look to you like he’s not interested in you?” asked Beelzebub dryly.
“How am I supposed to know?” asked Ligur back. “I don’t know until I’ve asked him, and I haven’t been able to ask him just yet.”
Beelzebub sighed. And then sighed again, when Hastur shakily admitted: “Yeah, makes sense.”
“Does it now?” asked Beelzebub, getting more tired of this by the second.
“Yeah,” said Hastur, who was still breathless and probably hadn’t gotten enough air in to have a properly functioning anything, let alone brain. “Lots of people say Ligur likes mating.” He looked at Ligur. “Just wasn’t aware you like it this much.”
“Because it’s about a special way of mating,” said Ligur. “I learned how humans mate, and I want to find out if we demons can do it the same way.”
“We already know how humans mate,” said Beelzebub. “It’s not that special.”
“There’s more to it,” said Ligur. “They’ve learned a few new things. They’ve been teaching me the last time I was topside. They’re really good at it now. They say it’s because eating the forbidden fruit of knowledge gave them the knowledge of good sex. They got severely punished for it, so it’s probably something sinful or wicked. And if that’s the case, we demons should know about it.”
“And you thought the right one to try this out with is Hastur?” asked Beelzebub.
Ligur smiled. “Yes,” he said. “Look at him. Doesn’t he look like so much fun?”
Beelzebub looked at Hastur, who was harried, wild-eyed, drenched in sweat, Ligur’s blood on his claws, his skin more spot-dotted than ever, enough tension coiled up in his body to probably propel him to the moon if Ligur let go - clearly a demon at the very, VERY end of his tether. Well, if winding up Hastur was Ligur’s idea of fun, he was certainly getting somewhere.
Beelzebub sighed and decided to allow this. Not for the sake of peace and quiet, this was Hell after all, but the disquiet of it was a lot more bearable without Hastur and Ligur barrelling through it, yelling and screaming and fighting. And if there was anything behind Ligur’s claim that human had found a sinful way to mate – which Beelzebub highly doubted, since mating was intentionally built into them – then yes, Hell needed to know more about it. It was probably just Ligur having way too much fun again. Not a thing Beelzebub was looking for, but usually it was a bit uplifting. Not when it was this disruptive though.
But Beelzebub already knew how to punish these two when they were back. I’m going to pretend they found out something useful, promote them, give them a few lazy and chaotic underlings and make them responsible for their underlings mistakes, thought Beelzebub. They can see how they like it when they try to get things done and no one is listening to them.
“I’ll leave you to it then,” Beelzebub said. “Hastur, you’re on your own now. Ligur, so are you. You know the rules. No permanent damage, no permanent discorporation, no mating in the middle of the conference room just because someone’s presentation is too long and boring. And a new rule for the two if you specifically: Fuck where I can’t hear you. I’ve had enough noise from you to last me a while. I expect you both to come to your senses after this and report back for all the work that has piled up while you two were having your fun.”
The two nodded and mumbled something and that was all Beelzebub needed to turn around and stomp away.
Hastur and Ligur waited for Beelzebub to vanish from their sight before they let out a breath they hadn’t been aware they had been holding.
“Did we just get a day off?” asked Hastur.
“A day? I’m not going to be done with you in a day,” said Ligur.
He still kept a firm grip on Hastur’s wrists, weighing him down with his body. He was not going to give Hastur a chance to escape and have to chase him down again. He was very done with the whole chase, and having this bastard finally under control was very satisfying indeed.
Hastur had reacted to his words, but only by a short, feeble attempt at getting free.
“What’s so special about this human thing that you chase me through all of Hell for it?” he asked, and there was a spark of challenge in his words. Mostly Hastur was unsettled and confused but Ligur clung to that spark. He was about to talk about how much fun it had been to mate with the humans, but… that hadn’t gotten him anywhere with the other demons. Ligur had no idea what was wrong about some fun. But he realized his mistake now. He had tried to teach them to have fun like humans. But they were demons, weren’t they? He had to use the new things he’d learned and try to have fun with them like a demon.
“It looks harmless enough,” he purred, “But it’s really intense. Makes you fall apart at the seams. Does your head in. And I thought, hey, who am I going to mess up like this? And then I saw you, and it was really kind of obvious.”
The first dawning of understanding appeared on Hastur’s face. “You like messing me up.”
Ligur leaned forward to put a bit more weight on Hastur. It hurt enough for Hastur and his many injuries to let out an involuntary moan that went straight to Ligur’s gut.
“Guess I do. What about you? Messed me up good all these weeks. Did you like it?”
A slow lop-sided smirk crept on Hastur’s features. “Might have.”
But then the smirk vanished again, and Hastur looked slightly panicked again.
“Wait, we’re supposed to report back to Beelzebub, so this is a work assignment then?”
With a roar of frustration, Ligur let go of his wrists, grabbed two fistfuls of Hastur’s fading black robe instead and lifted him up just enough so he could slam him back on the ground with force.
The crowd of spectators that had started to inch closer to miss nothing from the unexpected entertainment quickly retreated several steps back again.
Interestingly though, Hastur didn’t use the opening that Ligur had just given him to attack him again. Those claws would have finished him within the blink of an eye. But they didn’t. Still, that had been an annoying thing to say.
“If you’re being like this, we’re not doing it!” he growled. “All I heard from Beelzebub is that we’re on our own, so we do this for our own pleasure or not at all. So, are we doing this or not?”
Hastur had dropped the smirk when he had been slammed into the ground, reminding him of all his injuries. But now the smirk was back, and so was the spark in his eyes.
“Can’t miss a chance to fuck you up and mess you up at the same time now, can I?” he asked. “Show me what all the fuss is about.”
"Alright," said Ligur and grinned back at him. "Let's have some fun!"